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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,867 --> 00:00:03,802 [rock music] 2 00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,804 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:07,272 - Driver is a young male. 4 00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:10,142 Appears to be having a seizure. Ambulance requested. 5 00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:12,611 - Yeah, these beats make me wanna rage! 6 00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:14,613 Grab me another vodka soda, bee-yatch! 7 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,014 - Don't see that every day, huh? 8 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,282 - [grunting rhythmically] 9 00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:18,883 Does that make you jelly, dawg? 10 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,131 - Is this a concussion thing? - Sir, can your hear me? 11 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,487 - Ooh, ooh! Bloop-bloop. 12 00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:23,809 Phew, pew-pew! [blows raspberries] 13 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:25,468 - You gotta admit he's got some great moves. 14 00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:26,758 - He looks like he's on 15 00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:28,560 a new synthetic club drug called Blast. 16 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,229 The user hallucinates a complete nightclub setting. 17 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,897 Lights, sound, everything. 18 00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:33,898 - Yeah! 19 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,433 It's your boy Mr. Toasty! 20 00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:36,969 I'm putting this on the Gram! 21 00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:38,503 - I've heard of this stuff. 22 00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:40,238 It's like 75 bucks per dose. Kind of pricey. 23 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,906 - I mean, yes and no. 24 00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:43,976 Once you factor in cover charge, bottle service. 25 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:45,310 - Plus the cost of an Uber. 26 00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:46,689 - It adds up. - What are we gonna do? 27 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,291 - Maybe we have to wait until the song ends? 28 00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,182 - All right, I say we go in slowly 29 00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:51,516 and pull him out gently. 30 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:52,785 - Okay. - Come on, man. 31 00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:53,919 Come with us. 32 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:57,121 [dance music] 33 00:00:57,123 --> 00:01:01,994 ♪ ♪ 34 00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:04,062 - Whoo! 35 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:09,668 ♪ ♪ 36 00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:11,135 - Oh! - Stop. 37 00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:12,270 - Whoa! - All right, dude! 38 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,938 - Hey! St... calm down! 39 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,585 - Lucy, you must have some moves to get a guy 40 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:16,809 to leave the club with you. 41 00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:19,077 - Excuse me, Ike. 42 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,213 Hey, buddy, has anyone ever told you 43 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:23,348 you look like a young Tony Stark? 44 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,417 [grunts] both: Oh! 45 00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:26,552 - [coughs] 46 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,553 both: Oh! Oh! Oh! 47 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:30,622 [horn honks] - Whoo! 48 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,225 - I wonder what happens on a second date. 49 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:34,559 - Are you okay? 50 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:37,696 [Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"] 51 00:01:37,832 --> 00:01:42,034 ♪ ♪ 52 00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:44,969 - ♪ Well, I'm hot blooded ♪ 53 00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:47,439 ♪ Check it and see ♪ 54 00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:51,376 ♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪ 55 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,146 ♪ I'm hot blooded ♪ 56 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,582 [mellow music] 57 00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:59,918 - Oh! - There she is! 58 00:02:00,054 --> 00:02:02,254 - Lucy McConky, Judo Probie! 59 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:03,709 - Wow. That's quite a neck-shiner. 60 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,257 You know what? Rub some dirt in it. 61 00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,037 You'll be fine. - Does that hurt at all, Luce? 62 00:02:07,061 --> 00:02:08,505 - [deep voice] Only when I breathe or swallow. 63 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,863 All: Whoa! - What's that all about? 64 00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,909 - When the zonked-out driver whacked me in the throat, 65 00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,332 he contused my larynx. 66 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:16,000 The doctor said I should be better in a week or two. 67 00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:17,714 - You're gonna sound like that for two weeks? 68 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,404 - Yeah, give or take a couple of days, 69 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,606 but he said it's gonna get worse before it gets better. 70 00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,208 - I can't wait for it to get worse. 71 00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:25,410 - It's a little disturbing. 72 00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:27,345 - Are you crazy, Chief? This is entertaining as hell. 73 00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,214 Hey, do the movie trailer voice for him. 74 00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:30,883 - Ooh! 75 00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:33,218 In a world full of fear, 76 00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,888 where right is wrong and up is down, 77 00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:39,424 one man has the courage to take on the system. 78 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,226 - Oh! - Whoa! 79 00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,095 - Oh, no way! - Oh! 80 00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,830 - Do, uh, "Autobots, transform and roll out!" 81 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,366 - Autobots, transform and roll out! 82 00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:50,835 - Oh! Optimus Prime is here! 83 00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,705 - Beef. It's what's for dinner. 84 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:55,307 - Beef. It's what's for dinner. 85 00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,842 - [laughs] - Yes! 86 00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,418 - Okay, come on. Let's go, everybody. 87 00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:00,879 Back to work. Come on. Let's go. 88 00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:03,115 - Oh, there he is. 89 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,783 Oh, Ka'ponko. There you are! 90 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:07,986 Are you all right? - Hey, hey, hey, hey. 91 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,988 Hey, hey, hey. Yes, yes. 92 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,123 I'm fine. Why? 93 00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:12,591 - We heard there was a big scuffle 94 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,192 after that car crash this morning. 95 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,660 - Uh, how did you hear about that? 96 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,307 - Well, your sister and I saw it on the internet. 97 00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,797 It's all over that Nextdoor neighborhood app. 98 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,665 - They said that the firefighters 99 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,801 were being attacked by somebody on synthetic party drugs. 100 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,536 I heard the guy lifted up a car! 101 00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,405 - You guys have to get off that Nextdoor app, okay? 102 00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:30,008 - No, you need to leave the firefighting business. 103 00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:31,543 It's too dangerous. 104 00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,389 One of these days, you're gonna get yourself killed. 105 00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:34,493 - Okay, well, why don't you 106 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,788 stick to your day job, Kailani? 107 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,749 Because I've already got a mother. 108 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,618 [laughter] 109 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,486 Oh, I made it light. - Very funny. 110 00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,822 - Now, are you going to come to the salon tonight? 111 00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:45,557 - Yes, of course. I'll see you tonight. 112 00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,137 - Okay, we'll see you tonight. - Okay. Okay. 113 00:03:47,161 --> 00:03:48,427 Okay, Mom! 114 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,362 - Hey. - Whoa. 115 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,097 - Please be careful out there. 116 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,767 - Okay. Stop worrying. 117 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,168 - Okay. 118 00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,637 - What's the matter with you, fart-face, Mom? 119 00:03:58,773 --> 00:04:00,905 I'll see you guys tonight. - Be careful. 120 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,240 ♪ ♪ 121 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,509 - Eddie! Come here. 122 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:05,778 - Chiefy, what's up? 123 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,647 - Did you order that tetherball pole like I asked? 124 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,426 - See, I can't tell if you're serious about that or not. 125 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:11,716 - Tetherball? - Yeah. 126 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,398 - I love tetherball. It's great for morale. 127 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,498 It's great for cardio. It's consistently rated one of 128 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,100 the most wholesome activities in the United States. 129 00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:18,857 - You play tetherball? - I love tetherball. 130 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,392 - I'm gonna order it... - Okay. 131 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,207 - And pay with station money at this moment 132 00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,129 if you officially authorize it. 133 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,597 - Authorized. 134 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:27,932 - Now, because Lucy required medical attention, 135 00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,802 I have to file traumatic event paperwork. 136 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,536 - Oh, I find all paperwork traumatic. 137 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,405 [laughs] I'll be here all week. 138 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:35,207 - But seriously, folks, 139 00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:37,387 we have to have a critical incident stress debriefing. 140 00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:38,610 - Who's gonna lead that? 141 00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:41,279 - The designated peer counselor, me. 142 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,148 - I find it amazing that you are the station peer counselor. 143 00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:46,218 - I find it amazing that I have to remind you 144 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:47,619 that I am woke AF. 145 00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,087 - I don't know what that means. 146 00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:51,356 - It means I am very in touch with my feelings, 147 00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:54,226 and I'm gonna help everyone else get there too. 148 00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:55,828 - Okay, I guess we've come a long way 149 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,429 from the suck-it-up machismo days. 150 00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:58,763 - Yeah. - You know what? 151 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,210 Don't spend too much time on this Lucy thing. 152 00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:01,566 It's not that big of a deal. 153 00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,101 - I'm gonna take as much time as needed, okay? 154 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,943 It's important for us to talk about this stuff. 155 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,331 - Okay. You're right. You're right. 156 00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,040 Don't forget about that tetherball pole! 157 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,843 - Yes, I'd like to make an appointment for a pap smear 158 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,244 and a mammogram. 159 00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:15,481 It's for me. Lucy McConky. 160 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,317 No. I'm Lucy McConky. 161 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,520 [laughter] 162 00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,988 - "I'm Lucifer McConky." [laughter] 163 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:24,989 - Heads up, everybody. 164 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,591 Because of this morning's accident, 165 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,593 we have to have a critical incident stress debriefing. 166 00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:30,462 So we need to talk to a peer counselor. 167 00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:32,197 It's now S.O.P. 168 00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:33,844 - Aw, is it really necessary for this one, though, Chief? 169 00:05:33,868 --> 00:05:35,200 - Yeah, I'm the one who got hurt, 170 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:36,735 and I think it's hilarious. 171 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,048 - Then all you need to do is talk to the counselor. 172 00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:39,804 - Well, who's the peer counselor? 173 00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:41,740 - Some touchy-feely dude in a cardigan sweater. 174 00:05:41,876 --> 00:05:43,542 Guaranteed. - [chuckles] 175 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,077 "I'm Dr. Benjamin Nesmith, 176 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,812 and I'm here to get you in touch with your emotions." 177 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:48,948 [laughter] 178 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,015 - My name is Dr. Leslie Tenderheart, 179 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,151 and we gonna use these two here dolls 180 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,686 to act out our emotions, okay? 181 00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,488 - I'm the peer counselor. 182 00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:57,756 [laughter] 183 00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,157 - That would be amazing. 184 00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:01,293 - I don't think you get what the riff is, Cap. 185 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:03,628 You're supposed to come up with, like, a wimpy name 186 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:04,963 and a... and a voice. 187 00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:06,231 - You're missing the riff. 188 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,232 - I am missing the riff, aren't I? 189 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,901 I got the riff. 190 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,680 But I'm the certified peer counselor for this station. 191 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,637 I am gonna lead the sessions. 192 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,973 - I mean, there's no way I can take Captain seriously 193 00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:16,308 as a therapist. 194 00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:17,842 How does this make you feel? 195 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,512 How does this make you feel? Ayy! 196 00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:21,580 - Here's your choice. 197 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,047 You can wrap hoses all day 198 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,649 or you can drink coffee and chat with me. 199 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,051 - I guess it's Eddie Penisi, Peer Counselor! 200 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,921 - Tuesdays at 9:00 on the Discovery Channel. 201 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,924 - Ooh, yes. - That voice is so good! 202 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,927 ♪ ♪ 203 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,861 - So how do you guys feel about 204 00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,964 what happened this morning? 205 00:06:40,134 --> 00:06:42,401 No? Okay, I'll make it easier. 206 00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,069 Just one word. 207 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,405 One word to describe how you felt when Lucy got belted. 208 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,207 - Hungry. - Gassy. 209 00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:50,743 - Badass. - Itchy. 210 00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,655 - All right. Come on, guys. Let's go. Come on. 211 00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,079 - No, no. That's okay, Chief. 212 00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,414 I used to be like this too. It's part of the process. 213 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,950 Let's just ease into it. 214 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,952 We can talk about whatever's on your minds. 215 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,287 - Jeez, I mean, I... I guess can jump in 216 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:06,091 and say, uh, my parents never bought me 217 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,759 a ten-speed bicycle. 218 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,894 - Oh! - Oh, what a life, Ike! 219 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,896 - Oh, my God! - Oh, that's sad. 220 00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:13,698 - I guess I'll also go then. I mean... 221 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:16,501 I can't eat dessert unless I finish my dinner. 222 00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:17,970 - No! [overlapping chatter] 223 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,571 - That's getting deep right there! 224 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,306 - All right, I got something. 225 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,707 I've never seen "Breaking Bad," 226 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,323 and I'm afraid that if I watch it now, 227 00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:25,711 it's gonna feel overhyped. 228 00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:29,492 Both: Are you kidding me? - Are you kidding me right now? 229 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,516 [overlapping chatter] 230 00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:33,251 - It is literally the greatest show 231 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,586 in the history of television. 232 00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,721 - You mean as far as modern television, right? 233 00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,101 - Don't start with the "Punky Brewster" stuff. 234 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,525 - It still holds up, man! - Andy, "Punky Brewster" 235 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:41,860 is not better than "Breaking Bad." 236 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,061 - Okay, agree to disagree. 237 00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:44,663 Lucy, have you seen "Punky Brewster"? 238 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,064 - No. - You've never seen 239 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,120 "Punky Brewster"? - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 240 00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:50,602 [overlapping chatter] 241 00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,805 ♪ ♪ 242 00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,539 - Mmm! Wow, Mom! 243 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:56,140 This buffalo poi is amazing. 244 00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,622 You've gotta start selling this stuff. 245 00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,077 - No way, Jose! 246 00:07:59,213 --> 00:08:00,679 [rip] - Oh! 247 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,414 - That's a secret family recipe. 248 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,416 - So you're gonna find a safer job? 249 00:08:04,551 --> 00:08:06,618 - [scoffs] What are you talking about, Kailani? 250 00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:08,353 I'm not gonna stop being a firefighter. 251 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,288 - Well, if you think we were gonna wax your butt 252 00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,557 for your open-casket funeral, then you're mistaken! 253 00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:13,692 - Whoa, whoa! 254 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,360 What's going on with you, Kailani? 255 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,674 And why would you think that people would see my naked butt 256 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:20,098 in an open-casket funeral? [chuckles] 257 00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:22,434 - There's something that you need to know, Ka'ponko. 258 00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:23,768 Uh, this morning when we thought 259 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,103 something happened to you, 260 00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:27,840 we realized that it would be a tragedy 261 00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:30,375 if... if you died without knowing the truth. 262 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,244 - Wait. What truth? 263 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,379 - Uh... 264 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,914 I am not your mother. 265 00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:37,916 Kailani is. 266 00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,452 - [scoffs] Okay, what is this? 267 00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:41,987 "Star Wars"? "I am not your mother." 268 00:08:42,056 --> 00:08:44,056 - I had you when I was just 16 years old. 269 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,192 So we decided it would be best if we raised you 270 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,327 thinking she was your mother and I was your sister. 271 00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:53,666 - Are you serious? 272 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,800 - And the man that you know as Cousin Bill 273 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,269 is actually your father. 274 00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:58,937 That's why he gives you a five dollar bill 275 00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,405 in your birthday card every year. 276 00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:03,007 - Why did you wait to tell me after the accident? 277 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,609 - Well, it was a family secret! 278 00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,611 - No, no. Buffalo poi is a family secret. 279 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:07,973 This is something bigger than that. 280 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:09,654 - You just have to get over it, all right? 281 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,283 The sooner we stop talking about this, 282 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:12,751 the sooner we can move on. 283 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,553 - We just started talking about this! 284 00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,354 - That's just the way it is. 285 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,423 - Do not touch me! 286 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,359 Ow, ow, ow! 287 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,161 [rip] 288 00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:25,163 My asshole... 289 00:09:25,299 --> 00:09:31,036 ♪ ♪ 290 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:34,807 [rock music] 291 00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:36,208 - All right, everybody, 292 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,876 let's take this session very seriously 293 00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:40,745 and not say things we think Eddie wants to hear 294 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:43,215 because we want to get it over with. 295 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,817 Huh? 296 00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,218 Counselor Penisi, take it away. 297 00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,953 - Great intro, Chief. Thank you very much. 298 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,689 Lucy's accident reminded me 299 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,424 that firefighters are vulnerable. 300 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,426 Anybody else feel that way? 301 00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:55,894 - Look, I know we're all a bunch 302 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,962 of tough sons-of-bitches here. 303 00:09:57,964 --> 00:10:00,165 We help people, so we don't need help. 304 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,167 We shouldn't have insecurities. 305 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,169 So let me tell you about my insecurity. 306 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,970 All right, you may not know this, 307 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,639 but I have always been neurotic 308 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,508 about being on the shorter side 309 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:10,643 by firefighter standards. 310 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,177 - Hey. - Oh, come on. 311 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,756 - You should play basketball. - Yeah, right. 312 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,381 - Okay, but when I was starting out, 313 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:17,782 I wanted to be respected. 314 00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,029 Especially 'cause my dad was a hot shot 315 00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:20,252 within the department. 316 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,921 I was afraid that a lot of the older guys 317 00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:25,391 were gonna make fun of me for being short. 318 00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,828 And truthfully, some of 'em did. 319 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:33,198 So I... 320 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:37,469 Made love to a lot of their wives and girlfriends. 321 00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:38,871 And that helped. 322 00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:41,740 That helped a lot, actually. 323 00:10:41,876 --> 00:10:43,341 Now I feel bad about it 324 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:46,078 because I threw some A game around town. 325 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:49,614 I gotta tell you, I've never spoken about that, but... 326 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,149 [sighs] 327 00:10:51,285 --> 00:10:53,686 It feels really good to get off my chest. 328 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,088 - I had a weird dream last night. 329 00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:58,823 Still pretty shaken up about it. 330 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,825 I was on a train. 331 00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,761 It was going really fast, 332 00:11:02,897 --> 00:11:05,029 and we were approaching a tunnel. 333 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,099 And just as we were about to enter it, 334 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:10,034 the train went into reverse, 335 00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:12,837 and it backed out of the tunnel. 336 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:16,709 And then it lurched itself back into the tunnel. 337 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,643 And it was totally out of control. 338 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:21,313 It was moving forward and backward. 339 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,047 Forward and backward 340 00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:24,716 - That's a sex dream. - No, it wasn't. 341 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:25,984 It was terrifying. 342 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:28,787 And then to make matters worse, 343 00:11:28,923 --> 00:11:30,789 somebody spilt their milk all over me. 344 00:11:30,925 --> 00:11:32,657 - Okay, thank you. Thank you, Granny. 345 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,058 Trains can be scary. 346 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,428 - Um... - Yeah. 347 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,797 - As an exotic dancer, 348 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:41,600 sometimes I feel subjectified. 349 00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:42,735 - Objectified. 350 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,336 - No, no. Subjectified. 351 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:47,071 Like I'm just subject to all this constant attention 352 00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:48,473 by beautiful women. 353 00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,809 They wanna give me money and, you know, 354 00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:53,345 like, a fur coat or an Xbox. 355 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,679 - Why don't you just quit? 356 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:57,015 - 'Cause I love the money. 357 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,484 I guess, and the attention. 358 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:00,953 Like for instance, okay, 359 00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:03,021 the other day, this lady paid me 360 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:04,556 to paint her daughter's bedroom 361 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,358 wearing nothing but a G-string. 362 00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:09,027 So I did it, and I'm like, "Okay, wait. 363 00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:12,497 Am I a dancer, or am I a painter?" 364 00:12:12,633 --> 00:12:14,032 You know? 365 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,900 Like, I was having an indemnity crisis. 366 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,396 - Identity crisis. - No, indemnity. 367 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:19,304 Like if I felt like if I did a poor job 368 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:21,151 painting her bedroom, I'd be held financially responsible. 369 00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:23,107 - Okay. Good share, Ike. 370 00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,509 Speaking of daughters, 371 00:12:24,645 --> 00:12:27,846 Terry, let's talk about the Lucy incident. 372 00:12:27,982 --> 00:12:30,182 - My sister is my mother! 373 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:31,583 - Say again? 374 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,385 - After the Lucy incident, 375 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:37,255 my mother and sister were so worried about me dying 376 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,524 that they confessed that my sister had me 377 00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:41,059 when she was 16, 378 00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,996 and they've been pretending that I'm her little brother. 379 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,931 - Whoa. - No, woe is me. 380 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,267 Because my whole childhood is twisted. 381 00:12:49,403 --> 00:12:51,736 Also I just realized that I went to senior prom 382 00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:53,472 with my mom. 383 00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,808 And I've been getting my butt waxed this whole time 384 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,342 by my grandmother! 385 00:12:57,478 --> 00:12:59,544 - Can we just circle back to the... the prom thing? 386 00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:02,481 Did you say you went to senior prom with your sister? 387 00:13:02,483 --> 00:13:03,748 - The worst part about it 388 00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:06,418 is that I can't even talk about it. 389 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:08,620 They just want me to forget it 390 00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,755 and don't make it a big deal. 391 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,825 - Hang on, they won't even let you talk about it? 392 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,226 - No, Cap! 393 00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:17,295 They just say, "Push it down, Ka'ponko! 394 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,164 Push it down!" 395 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,366 - Andy, you need to have it out with them tonight. 396 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:22,167 ♪ ♪ 397 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:23,635 [rips] - Ah! 398 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,970 - I don't understand why you won't help me process this. 399 00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,484 Don't you see how hard this is for me? 400 00:13:27,508 --> 00:13:29,107 - This must be your first Brazilian. 401 00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,843 - Yeah, this patch is way stubborn. 402 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:31,844 [rips] 403 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,245 - Ah! - Come on! 404 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,047 When I was 12 years old looking through 405 00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:37,249 the peephole into my sister's room, I was actually 406 00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,584 watching my mother hook up with her boyfriend. 407 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,386 - You know what, this is hard for me, too, all right? 408 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,056 Yesterday I was a mother, today I'm a grandmother. 409 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,990 I'm too young to be a grandmother! 410 00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,126 [rips] - Okay. 411 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:48,660 Feet, back, nipples done. 412 00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:49,994 - Come on! 413 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,290 - Sorry for the distractions. 414 00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,065 My son was just leaving! [rips] 415 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,733 - I'm not going anywhere. 416 00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:55,868 - Oh! Whew! 417 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,336 Hiya, Myawani. Whew! 418 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,004 You mom-sister and grandma-mom 419 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,673 give good wax. 420 00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,007 And great family drama. 421 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,209 Better than the soap operas 422 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,545 I watch at home with my mother. 423 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,480 See you girls next month. 424 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,615 - I have no mother. 425 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,950 I have no grandma either. 426 00:14:12,086 --> 00:14:14,152 - Wha... [scoffs] 427 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:16,689 - Do a cow. - Moo! 428 00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,823 [laughter] 429 00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:21,025 - Do a frog. - Ribbit! Ribbit! 430 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,405 - Oh, a gorilla, a gorilla! Do a gorilla! 431 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,496 - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! 432 00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,364 [laughter] 433 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,335 - [coughing] 434 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:32,771 Hey, Chief, we still going 435 00:14:32,773 --> 00:14:34,373 furniture shopping together this weekend? 436 00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:37,842 - Uh, my weekend's starting to fill up a little bit. 437 00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:40,845 I got some things with your sisters I've gotta do... 438 00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,180 - What? We made plans. 439 00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:43,693 And I thought we could go do karaoke afterwards. 440 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:45,584 - Is your voice getting lower? 441 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,964 - Yeah, I told you it was gonna get worse before it got better. 442 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,722 [grunting, coughing] 443 00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,190 - You hear that? I just... 444 00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:53,458 I think I just heard 445 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,193 some pizza rolls in the microwave. 446 00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:56,795 The one in my office. 447 00:14:56,797 --> 00:14:58,597 Uh, I'm just gonna... 448 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,599 I'm gonna grab them. 449 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,534 I'll be right back. 450 00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,068 - We have pizza rolls? 451 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,604 Hey, Chief, bring some back! 452 00:15:05,606 --> 00:15:06,805 ♪ ♪ 453 00:15:06,807 --> 00:15:08,473 - Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry. 454 00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:10,809 Hang on. 455 00:15:10,811 --> 00:15:12,277 I'd love it if you'd share today. 456 00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:14,012 - Why? I wasn't even at the accident. 457 00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,480 - The accident involved your daughter. 458 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:18,082 - I'm fine, Eddie. - I know. I know. 459 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,952 Sometimes there's things hiding inside 460 00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:21,219 that we don't know about 461 00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:22,665 that come out when we talk about them. 462 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,088 - You want me to share right now? 463 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,130 Is that what you want? Huh? 464 00:15:25,159 --> 00:15:27,292 Okay. [mocks crying] 465 00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,272 I can't believe you haven't ordered the tetherball pole! 466 00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,496 [mocks crying] Is that what you want? 467 00:15:31,632 --> 00:15:34,366 For me to cry? - Terry, please. 468 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:35,678 I've seen you cry a million times. 469 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:36,835 - Bullshit! 470 00:15:36,837 --> 00:15:38,117 - You cried when Ichiro retired. 471 00:15:38,172 --> 00:15:39,704 - Prove it. - I have it on video. 472 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:40,706 - You're lucky I'm even 473 00:15:40,841 --> 00:15:42,307 sitting in on those sessions. 474 00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,309 Why don't you go use your Oprah routine with Andy? 475 00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,111 Focus on people with real problems, 476 00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,446 'cause I don't have any. 477 00:15:47,581 --> 00:15:48,981 ♪ ♪ 478 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,715 - Okay. 479 00:15:50,851 --> 00:15:51,984 ♪ ♪ 480 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,585 Okay, gang, 481 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,453 we're gonna try something a little different today. 482 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,735 We're gonna do some roleplaying. 483 00:15:56,857 --> 00:15:58,390 - Ooh. - Kinky. 484 00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,993 - And I brought some special guests. 485 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,928 Ladies, come on in. 486 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:05,730 - Whoa. Super kinky. 487 00:16:05,866 --> 00:16:06,999 - Hey, what is this? 488 00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,067 - Don't worry. You don't have to do anything. 489 00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:10,469 I just want you to watch, okay? 490 00:16:10,471 --> 00:16:12,004 Come on. Guys, come on up here. 491 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,439 Ladies, go have a seat. 492 00:16:14,809 --> 00:16:16,475 Okay, Ikie. - Yeah. 493 00:16:16,477 --> 00:16:18,610 - You are gonna play Kailani. - Oh, cool! 494 00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:19,745 [mimics guns shooting] 495 00:16:19,814 --> 00:16:22,614 - Granny, you're gonna play grandma. 496 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:24,216 - It is such an honor. 497 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:25,950 - Andy, you're gonna be you, okay? 498 00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,526 Now you can say what you want to say. 499 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:30,555 - Uh, should we do the accents, or is that problematic? 500 00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:31,956 - Your choice. 501 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,291 - We weren't sure. 502 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,293 - I don't think this is gonna end well. 503 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,162 - You've hurt me on so many levels. 504 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,498 One, that you've kept it from me. 505 00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:42,167 And two, that we can't even talk about it. 506 00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,837 - [Jamaican accent] Don't worry about it, brah! 507 00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:47,305 What's your favorite wax technique? 508 00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,241 - [Jamaican accent] Up and down, side to side. 509 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,775 It don't matter. - Wrong. 510 00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:53,912 You apply the wax in the direction the hair grows, 511 00:16:53,914 --> 00:16:55,047 then you pull bottom to top. 512 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:56,381 Get it right! - Okay. 513 00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:57,982 - Keep going. Keep going. 514 00:16:57,984 --> 00:17:00,452 - I feel like I've missed out on having a real relationship 515 00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:01,786 with you, Mom. 516 00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:03,388 - Stuff it down, man! 517 00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:05,457 Push it down, Ka'ponko! 518 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,192 Me never chat with you about this! 519 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,594 - That's a terrible Hawaiian accent. 520 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,329 - You sound Jamaican, you racist. 521 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,465 - Wait, whoa! I'm not racist! 522 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,600 - Says you! - I am not racist. 523 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,202 - Guys, stand closer. Where you going? 524 00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:18,803 - Keep going. Keep going. 525 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:19,872 - I'm not racist. 526 00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:21,540 - Why can't we talk about this? 527 00:17:21,542 --> 00:17:22,741 We're family. 528 00:17:22,743 --> 00:17:25,944 - No time to talk. Have to wax a sensitive area. 529 00:17:25,946 --> 00:17:27,146 - [Irish accent] That's right. 530 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:28,413 And I've got to wax 531 00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:31,015 a little soul patch into me customer. 532 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,151 - Enough, okay? 533 00:17:32,286 --> 00:17:33,686 I did not close down shop 534 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,019 during lunch rush 535 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,821 to watch amateur improv. 536 00:17:36,957 --> 00:17:38,590 Let's go, Kailani. 537 00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:42,261 - Wait. M... 538 00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:44,963 - You okay, buddy? 539 00:17:44,965 --> 00:17:48,433 - Actually, I feel fantastic. 540 00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:51,136 Like it or not, they heard what I had to say. 541 00:17:51,972 --> 00:17:53,906 - Awesome. - Okay. 542 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,107 Chief and Lucy, your turn. 543 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,442 - Sweet! - Uh, no thanks. 544 00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,043 - It really hurts me that you can't stand 545 00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:00,823 the sound of my voice. - What are you talking about? 546 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,625 I love your voice; you sound like the guy who used to host 547 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,227 Soul Train... Granny, what was that guy's name? 548 00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,496 - Why would I know the name of the guy who hosted Soul Train? 549 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,253 - Oh! [chuckles] Right. 550 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,122 - Oh, it's 'cause I dream about trains? 551 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:12,925 - That's it. You're the train guy. 552 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,126 - Let's switch it up. 553 00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:16,261 Lucy, you be Chief. Chief, you be Lucy. 554 00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:18,330 Lucy, start it off. 555 00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:20,999 - Okay, um... 556 00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:24,136 Don't interrupt! I know everything! 557 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,515 I'm the chief, and I'm your dad! 558 00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:26,871 And the answer is no! 559 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,473 No, no, no, no, no! 560 00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:30,008 - Oh, that's your imitation of me? 561 00:18:30,144 --> 00:18:31,276 That's it, huh? - Mm-hmm. 562 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,491 - I can play this game too. 563 00:18:32,613 --> 00:18:34,279 I can do this. All right. 564 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,948 Hey, my name's Lucy, 565 00:18:36,083 --> 00:18:37,549 and I'm the reckless probie 566 00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,729 who doesn't care how our actions affect other people! 567 00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:43,021 Maybe I should find a safer job like accounting! 568 00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:46,825 - That was awesome. - Yeah, good impression, Chief. 569 00:18:46,961 --> 00:18:48,560 [buzzer blares] dispatcher: Station 24. 570 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:51,563 Man on a ledge. 1113 Harrison Avenue. 571 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,165 - All right, this is bullshit. 572 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:54,633 Do you even know what you're doing? 573 00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:56,769 - Yes, I do. - Then what does Andy's mom 574 00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,548 and sister have to do with Lucy's accident? 575 00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:00,773 - Lucy's accident is what made Andy's 576 00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,507 mom and grandma tell him the truth. 577 00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:04,509 - All right, you know what? We're done with this. 578 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,031 - No, we're done when I say we're done. 579 00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,179 - No, we're done now! 580 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,981 - No, we're done when I say we're done. 581 00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,827 - Where are you going? - I'm going on a call. 582 00:19:10,851 --> 00:19:12,317 - Well, so am I! - Oh, you're coming? 583 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:13,686 - Yeah, I'm coming! - About time! 584 00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:19,258 - Just leave me alone, please! 585 00:19:19,393 --> 00:19:21,993 Can you please let a man die in peace? 586 00:19:22,129 --> 00:19:24,663 Leave me alone! I'm gonna jump! 587 00:19:24,798 --> 00:19:26,465 I'm gonna do it! I swear! 588 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,135 Go away! Leave me alone, okay? 589 00:19:30,137 --> 00:19:32,403 - Car one on the scene. Car one in command. 590 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:35,807 - Go away! Leave me alone, okay? 591 00:19:35,943 --> 00:19:37,609 Get out of here! 592 00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:38,611 Go away! 593 00:19:40,081 --> 00:19:43,082 - Hey, folks, I need you to step back! 594 00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:45,684 - [sighs] - Leave me alone! 595 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,380 [indistinct shouting] - Who's going up there? 596 00:19:48,422 --> 00:19:50,622 - I am, obviously. I'm the most qualified. 597 00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:51,823 - Hold on a second. 598 00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:53,224 I've talked to a few jumpers in my day. 599 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:55,094 - Okay, so you go. - You want me to? 600 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:56,895 - Yeah, if you're so good at it, you go. 601 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,297 - Fine. I will go. 602 00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:00,231 - Okay, stop chattering and start laddering. 603 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,033 - I'm in charge here! - Good. 604 00:20:02,169 --> 00:20:03,613 - Stop looking at me! - Be safe, Chief. 605 00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,104 - Stop telling me what to do. 606 00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:07,973 [suspenseful music] 607 00:20:07,975 --> 00:20:10,509 - Get off of that thing, man! 608 00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,644 ♪ ♪ 609 00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:13,712 Stay away, man! 610 00:20:13,847 --> 00:20:15,580 I'm not kidding! Back off, man! 611 00:20:16,317 --> 00:20:19,184 Stay away, man! I'm gonna jump! 612 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,853 - I just wanna talk. - Okay, well, I don't! 613 00:20:21,989 --> 00:20:23,522 I wanna be alone. - I get it. 614 00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:25,124 I'm the strong, silent type too. 615 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,992 - Oh, yeah? Like Ryan Gosling? 616 00:20:26,994 --> 00:20:28,459 - I don't know who that is. - What? 617 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,261 It's America's handsome boy, man! 618 00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:32,263 Come on. "La La Land"? - Never heard of it. 619 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:33,799 - You never heard of "La La Land"? 620 00:20:33,934 --> 00:20:35,845 What about "The Notebook"? - You're losing me now. 621 00:20:35,869 --> 00:20:37,469 - It's a masterpiece, sir! 622 00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,338 - I'm more of a Stallone guy. - Who? 623 00:20:39,473 --> 00:20:41,140 - How do you not know who Stallone is? 624 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:43,142 - How do you not know who Ryan Gosling is? 625 00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,609 - I feel like we're not connecting here. 626 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,812 - No, we're not, okay? Just go away, please! 627 00:20:46,947 --> 00:20:48,279 You're pissing me off, man! 628 00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:49,521 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 629 00:20:49,550 --> 00:20:50,615 You married? 630 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,951 - My wife ran off with my business partner 631 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:54,486 after embezzling a million dollars 632 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,421 from my frozen yogurt franchise. 633 00:20:56,557 --> 00:20:58,089 Hence the roof! 634 00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,491 - Okay. 635 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,893 I like frozen yogurt more than I thought I would. 636 00:21:01,895 --> 00:21:03,162 - Cool! 637 00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:05,030 - [sighs] You got kids? 638 00:21:05,166 --> 00:21:07,432 - I got three boys. - Hey, I got three girls. 639 00:21:07,568 --> 00:21:09,168 - You know, they say boys are made 640 00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:11,703 when the wife has an orgasm during conception, so... 641 00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:13,082 - People have told me that. It's not true. 642 00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,373 - It's true. - It's not true. 643 00:21:14,508 --> 00:21:15,707 - Google it! - There's no evidence. 644 00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:17,242 - You could Bing it too. Same results. 645 00:21:17,244 --> 00:21:18,488 - There's no proof of that fact. 646 00:21:18,512 --> 00:21:20,111 - I proved it three times. 647 00:21:20,247 --> 00:21:21,913 - All right, regardless, okay, we both got kids. 648 00:21:21,915 --> 00:21:24,049 Matter of fact, that's my oldest right down there. 649 00:21:24,051 --> 00:21:25,384 The firefighter on the end. 650 00:21:25,519 --> 00:21:27,164 - You ever worried she'll get hurt on the job? 651 00:21:27,188 --> 00:21:28,520 - Every day. 652 00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:30,495 Matter of fact, she just got hit in the throat. 653 00:21:30,591 --> 00:21:32,791 Now she sounds like an old timey jazz singer. 654 00:21:32,926 --> 00:21:35,927 - Hey, I need you guys back behind the car! 655 00:21:35,929 --> 00:21:37,196 - Wow. Like Morgan Freeman. 656 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,198 - Just every time I hear it, it reminds me that 657 00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:40,465 if she hadn't followed in my footsteps, 658 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,800 she wouldn't be in harm's way. 659 00:21:41,935 --> 00:21:43,535 - Hey, we can't protect our kids forever, man. 660 00:21:43,537 --> 00:21:46,271 - I just don't wanna feel afraid and guilty 661 00:21:46,273 --> 00:21:48,473 for as long as she's a firefighter. 662 00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:49,955 - We all feel that way about our kids. 663 00:21:50,077 --> 00:21:51,410 It's normal. 664 00:21:51,545 --> 00:21:54,145 You should talk to somebody about it before you end up, 665 00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,215 you know, taking a dive off of a Bordstrom. 666 00:21:56,349 --> 00:21:59,150 - You sound like Eddie. - Eddie sounds woke AF. 667 00:21:59,286 --> 00:22:00,552 - I'm not gonna tell him that. 668 00:22:00,687 --> 00:22:02,199 - Gosh, your depression is making me feel better 669 00:22:02,223 --> 00:22:04,689 about my problems. [chuckles] 670 00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:06,491 Who would've thought that? [laughs] 671 00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:08,004 I was just about to jump off a building. 672 00:22:08,028 --> 00:22:10,361 Now I'm laughing. [laughing] 673 00:22:10,363 --> 00:22:12,097 Thank you, man. Hey, can I get a hug? 674 00:22:12,233 --> 00:22:13,098 - I don't think that's a good idea. 675 00:22:13,234 --> 00:22:14,365 - Come on, man. Please? 676 00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:15,612 - Let me just get you down safely. 677 00:22:15,636 --> 00:22:17,236 - I feel like we connected there. 678 00:22:17,370 --> 00:22:19,282 Come on! Bring it in! - Just hold on. Let's not... 679 00:22:19,306 --> 00:22:20,906 - Get in here. I need it, man. - No, don't... 680 00:22:20,908 --> 00:22:23,975 - Hey, hey! - [yells] 681 00:22:23,977 --> 00:22:25,678 [overlapping shouts] 682 00:22:27,781 --> 00:22:29,014 all: Oh! 683 00:22:29,850 --> 00:22:32,851 - Whoo! Whee! 684 00:22:32,986 --> 00:22:34,453 That was amazing! 685 00:22:34,588 --> 00:22:37,256 Hey, your team really knows how to talk a guy down. 686 00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:39,724 Free yogurt for everybody! 687 00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:42,261 - [sighs] Oh, oh! 688 00:22:42,395 --> 00:22:43,995 I'm sorry. 689 00:22:43,997 --> 00:22:45,396 I love you. I was wrong. 690 00:22:45,398 --> 00:22:48,267 And I love your voice. - Thanks, Dad. 691 00:22:48,401 --> 00:22:50,535 - Chief, you forgot to secure your safety belt. 692 00:22:50,537 --> 00:22:52,449 - Yeah, well, too bad. We're having a moment here. 693 00:22:52,473 --> 00:22:54,517 - But we're gonna have a safety belt refresher course. 694 00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:55,718 - We'll talk about it later. - Okay. 695 00:22:55,742 --> 00:22:57,208 - My daughter. - By the way, 696 00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,721 you got 10s across the board for your dive. 697 00:22:58,745 --> 00:23:00,145 - Thank you! 698 00:23:00,147 --> 00:23:02,080 - Ka'ponko! Oh, my goodness! 699 00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:04,015 Thank God you're okay! 700 00:23:04,017 --> 00:23:06,818 - Hey, hey! Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! 701 00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:08,153 Hey! I'm okay! 702 00:23:08,289 --> 00:23:09,554 - The Nextdoor app said there was a guy 703 00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:11,222 who was gonna jump off a building. 704 00:23:11,358 --> 00:23:13,536 We figured it was you because you're such an emotional mess! 705 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,094 - I have every right to be a mess. 706 00:23:15,228 --> 00:23:16,762 - I know. - You do? 707 00:23:16,897 --> 00:23:19,698 - Yeah, I was talking to my 2:00 about it, 708 00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:21,767 and she told me I was being a crazy person. 709 00:23:21,902 --> 00:23:24,235 She was right. I was wrong, all right? 710 00:23:24,371 --> 00:23:26,438 We can work through this together! 711 00:23:26,573 --> 00:23:28,507 Aww! 712 00:23:29,310 --> 00:23:31,677 - Oh, hi, Andy's mom. Hi, Andy's grandma. 713 00:23:32,980 --> 00:23:34,179 - Is Ike still single? 714 00:23:34,315 --> 00:23:35,914 - I think so. - Sweet. 715 00:23:36,049 --> 00:23:38,617 I could hit that. - Eww. 716 00:23:40,921 --> 00:23:44,990 [soft R&B music] 717 00:23:45,125 --> 00:23:48,059 - ♪ I wanna tell you, baby ♪ 718 00:23:48,061 --> 00:23:51,129 ♪ What you meant to me ♪ 719 00:23:51,265 --> 00:23:53,665 ♪ All those good times we shared ♪ 720 00:23:53,667 --> 00:23:57,402 ♪ ♪ 721 00:23:57,537 --> 00:24:00,872 ♪ All the love that we have for each other ♪ 722 00:24:00,874 --> 00:24:02,274 ♪ ♪ 723 00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:03,409 - Okay. Come on, Luce. 724 00:24:03,543 --> 00:24:05,143 Rubber match! Let's go! 725 00:24:05,145 --> 00:24:06,878 - [sighs, regular voice] Man. 726 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,480 I really miss my old voice. 727 00:24:08,482 --> 00:24:10,015 I was the talk of the karaoke circuit. 728 00:24:10,150 --> 00:24:13,819 [suspenseful music] 729 00:24:13,954 --> 00:24:15,688 - [yells] 730 00:24:16,824 --> 00:24:18,890 [voice deepens] 731 00:24:18,892 --> 00:24:20,158 - You okay? 732 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,759 - [deep voice] Chief. 733 00:24:21,761 --> 00:24:23,829 You are my father! 734 00:24:23,964 --> 00:24:25,697 [laughter] 735 00:24:25,699 --> 00:24:27,099 - That's awesome. 736 00:24:28,502 --> 00:24:30,636 - It's funny 'cause it's true. 52758

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