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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,890 --> 00:00:03,825 [rock music] 2 00:00:03,827 --> 00:00:05,827 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:05,829 --> 00:00:07,295 - Driver is a young male. 4 00:00:07,430 --> 00:00:10,165 Appears to be having a seizure. Ambulance requested. 5 00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:12,634 - Yeah, these beats make me wanna rage! 6 00:00:12,636 --> 00:00:14,636 Grab me another vodka soda, bee-yatch! 7 00:00:14,638 --> 00:00:16,037 - Don't see that every day, huh? 8 00:00:16,173 --> 00:00:17,305 - [grunting rhythmically] 9 00:00:17,307 --> 00:00:18,906 Does that make you jelly, dawg? 10 00:00:19,042 --> 00:00:21,042 - Is this a concussion thing? - Sir, can your hear me? 11 00:00:21,178 --> 00:00:22,510 - Ooh, ooh! Bloop-bloop. 12 00:00:22,512 --> 00:00:23,779 Phew, pew-pew! [blows raspberries] 13 00:00:23,913 --> 00:00:25,380 - You gotta admit he's got some great moves. 14 00:00:25,515 --> 00:00:26,781 - He looks like he's on 15 00:00:26,916 --> 00:00:28,583 a new synthetic club drug called Blast. 16 00:00:28,718 --> 00:00:31,252 The user hallucinates a complete nightclub setting. 17 00:00:31,388 --> 00:00:32,920 Lights, sound, everything. 18 00:00:32,922 --> 00:00:33,921 - Yeah! 19 00:00:33,923 --> 00:00:35,456 It's your boy Mr. Toasty! 20 00:00:35,458 --> 00:00:36,992 I'm putting this on the Gram! 21 00:00:37,126 --> 00:00:38,526 - I've heard of this stuff. 22 00:00:38,528 --> 00:00:40,261 It's like 75 bucks per dose. Kind of pricey. 23 00:00:40,397 --> 00:00:41,929 - I mean, yes and no. 24 00:00:41,931 --> 00:00:43,999 Once you factor in cover charge, bottle service. 25 00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:45,333 - Plus the cost of an Uber. 26 00:00:45,468 --> 00:00:46,601 - It adds up. - What are we gonna do? 27 00:00:46,736 --> 00:00:48,203 - Maybe we have to wait until the song ends? 28 00:00:48,338 --> 00:00:50,205 - All right, I say we go in slowly 29 00:00:50,340 --> 00:00:51,539 and pull him out gently. 30 00:00:51,541 --> 00:00:52,808 - Okay. - Come on, man. 31 00:00:52,942 --> 00:00:53,941 Come with us. 32 00:00:54,077 --> 00:00:57,144 [dance music] 33 00:00:57,146 --> 00:01:02,017 ♪ ♪ 34 00:01:02,152 --> 00:01:04,085 - Whoo! 35 00:01:04,087 --> 00:01:09,691 ♪ ♪ 36 00:01:09,827 --> 00:01:11,158 - Oh! - Stop. 37 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,293 - Whoa! - All right, dude! 38 00:01:12,429 --> 00:01:13,961 - Hey! St--calm down! 39 00:01:13,963 --> 00:01:15,497 - Lucy, you must have some moves to get a guy 40 00:01:15,632 --> 00:01:16,832 to leave the club with you. 41 00:01:16,966 --> 00:01:19,100 - Excuse me, Ike. 42 00:01:19,102 --> 00:01:21,236 Hey, buddy, has anyone ever told you 43 00:01:21,371 --> 00:01:23,371 you look like a young Tony Stark? 44 00:01:23,707 --> 00:01:25,440 [grunts] both: Oh! 45 00:01:25,575 --> 00:01:26,541 - [coughs] 46 00:01:27,244 --> 00:01:28,576 both: Oh! Oh! Oh! 47 00:01:28,578 --> 00:01:30,645 [horn honks] - Whoo! 48 00:01:30,780 --> 00:01:33,248 - I wonder what happens on a second date. 49 00:01:33,383 --> 00:01:34,582 - Are you okay? 50 00:01:34,718 --> 00:01:37,719 [Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"] 51 00:01:37,855 --> 00:01:42,057 ♪ ♪ 52 00:01:42,192 --> 00:01:44,992 - ♪ Well, I'm hot blooded ♪ 53 00:01:44,994 --> 00:01:47,462 ♪ Check it and see ♪ 54 00:01:47,597 --> 00:01:51,399 ♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪ 55 00:01:51,535 --> 00:01:54,169 ♪ I'm hot blooded ♪ 56 00:01:54,804 --> 00:01:57,605 [mellow music] 57 00:01:57,607 --> 00:01:59,941 - Oh! - There she is! 58 00:02:00,077 --> 00:02:02,277 - Lucy McConky, Judo Probie! 59 00:02:02,412 --> 00:02:03,678 - Wow. That's quite a neck-shiner. 60 00:02:03,813 --> 00:02:05,280 You know what? Rub some dirt in it. 61 00:02:05,415 --> 00:02:06,948 You'll be fine. - Does that hurt at all, Luce? 62 00:02:07,084 --> 00:02:08,416 - [deep voice] Only when I breathe or swallow. 63 00:02:08,552 --> 00:02:10,886 all: Whoa! - What's that all about? 64 00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:12,820 - When the zonked-out driver whacked me in the throat, 65 00:02:12,956 --> 00:02:14,355 he contused my larynx. 66 00:02:14,357 --> 00:02:16,023 The doctor said I should be better in a week or two. 67 00:02:16,025 --> 00:02:17,625 - You're gonna sound like that for two weeks? 68 00:02:17,761 --> 00:02:19,427 - Yeah, give or take a couple of days, 69 00:02:19,429 --> 00:02:21,629 but he said it's gonna get worse before it gets better. 70 00:02:21,631 --> 00:02:23,231 - I can't wait for it to get worse. 71 00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:25,433 - It's a little disturbing. 72 00:02:25,435 --> 00:02:27,368 - Are you crazy, Chief? This is entertaining as hell. 73 00:02:27,370 --> 00:02:29,237 Hey, do the movie trailer voice for him. 74 00:02:29,239 --> 00:02:30,906 - Ooh! 75 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,241 In a world full of fear, 76 00:02:33,376 --> 00:02:35,911 where right is wrong and up is down, 77 00:02:36,045 --> 00:02:39,447 one man has the courage to take on the system. 78 00:02:39,583 --> 00:02:41,249 - Oh! - Whoa! 79 00:02:41,384 --> 00:02:43,118 - Oh, no way! - Oh! 80 00:02:43,253 --> 00:02:45,853 - Do, uh, "Autobots, transform and roll out!" 81 00:02:45,855 --> 00:02:48,389 - Autobots, transform and roll out! 82 00:02:48,391 --> 00:02:50,858 - Oh! Optimus Prime is here! 83 00:02:50,994 --> 00:02:52,728 - Beef. It's what's for dinner. 84 00:02:52,862 --> 00:02:55,330 - Beef. It's what's for dinner. 85 00:02:55,465 --> 00:02:57,865 - [laughs] - Yes! 86 00:02:58,001 --> 00:02:59,334 - Okay, come on. Let's go, everybody. 87 00:02:59,469 --> 00:03:00,902 Back to work. Come on. Let's go. 88 00:03:02,071 --> 00:03:03,138 - Oh, there he is. 89 00:03:03,273 --> 00:03:04,806 Oh, Ka'ponko. There you are! 90 00:03:04,942 --> 00:03:08,009 Are you all right? - Hey, hey, hey, hey. 91 00:03:08,011 --> 00:03:10,011 Hey, hey, hey. Yes, yes. 92 00:03:10,013 --> 00:03:11,146 I'm fine. Why? 93 00:03:11,281 --> 00:03:12,614 - We heard there was a big scuffle 94 00:03:12,616 --> 00:03:14,215 after that car crash this morning. 95 00:03:14,351 --> 00:03:15,683 - Uh, how did you hear about that? 96 00:03:15,819 --> 00:03:17,218 - Well, your sister and I saw it on the internet. 97 00:03:17,354 --> 00:03:18,820 It's all over that Nextdoor neighborhood app. 98 00:03:18,822 --> 00:03:20,688 - They said that the firefighters 99 00:03:20,690 --> 00:03:22,824 were being attacked by somebody on synthetic party drugs. 100 00:03:22,826 --> 00:03:24,559 I heard the guy lifted up a car! 101 00:03:24,694 --> 00:03:27,428 - You guys have to get off that Nextdoor app, okay? 102 00:03:27,430 --> 00:03:30,031 - No, you need to leave the firefighting business. 103 00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:31,566 It's too dangerous. 104 00:03:31,701 --> 00:03:33,301 One of these days, you're gonna get yourself killed. 105 00:03:33,436 --> 00:03:34,436 - Okay, well, why don't you 106 00:03:34,571 --> 00:03:35,771 stick to your day job, Kailani? 107 00:03:35,905 --> 00:03:37,772 Because I've already got a mother. 108 00:03:37,907 --> 00:03:39,641 [laughter] 109 00:03:39,643 --> 00:03:41,509 Oh, I made it light. - Very funny. 110 00:03:41,645 --> 00:03:43,845 - Now, are you going to come to the salon tonight? 111 00:03:43,981 --> 00:03:45,580 - Yes, of course. I'll see you tonight. 112 00:03:45,715 --> 00:03:47,048 - Okay, we'll see you tonight. - Okay. Okay. 113 00:03:47,184 --> 00:03:48,450 Okay, Mom! 114 00:03:48,585 --> 00:03:50,385 - Hey. - Whoa. 115 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,120 - Please be careful out there. 116 00:03:52,255 --> 00:03:54,790 - Okay. Stop worrying. 117 00:03:54,924 --> 00:03:56,191 - Okay. 118 00:03:56,326 --> 00:03:58,660 - What's the matter with you, fart-face, Mom? 119 00:03:58,796 --> 00:04:00,928 I'll see you guys tonight. - Be careful. 120 00:04:01,064 --> 00:04:02,263 ♪ ♪ 121 00:04:02,399 --> 00:04:04,532 - Eddie! Come here. 122 00:04:04,534 --> 00:04:05,801 - Chiefy, what's up? 123 00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:08,670 - Did you order that tetherball pole like I asked? 124 00:04:08,672 --> 00:04:10,338 - See, I can't tell if you're serious about that or not. 125 00:04:10,473 --> 00:04:11,739 - Tetherball? - Yeah. 126 00:04:11,741 --> 00:04:13,408 - I love tetherball. It's great for morale. 127 00:04:13,543 --> 00:04:15,410 It's great for cardio. It's consistently rated one of 128 00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:17,012 the most wholesome activities in the United States. 129 00:04:17,147 --> 00:04:18,880 - You play tetherball? - I love tetherball. 130 00:04:18,882 --> 00:04:20,415 - I'm gonna order it... - Okay. 131 00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:22,217 - And pay with station money at this moment 132 00:04:22,352 --> 00:04:24,152 if you officially authorize it. 133 00:04:24,287 --> 00:04:25,620 - Authorized. 134 00:04:25,755 --> 00:04:27,955 - Now, because Lucy required medical attention, 135 00:04:28,091 --> 00:04:29,825 I have to file traumatic event paperwork. 136 00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:31,559 - Oh, I find all paperwork traumatic. 137 00:04:31,695 --> 00:04:33,428 [laughs] I'll be here all week. 138 00:04:33,563 --> 00:04:35,230 - But seriously, folks, 139 00:04:35,365 --> 00:04:37,298 we have to have a critical incident stress debriefing. 140 00:04:37,434 --> 00:04:38,633 - Who's gonna lead that? 141 00:04:38,768 --> 00:04:41,302 - The designated peer counselor, me. 142 00:04:41,304 --> 00:04:44,171 - I find it amazing that you are the station peer counselor. 143 00:04:44,173 --> 00:04:46,241 - I find it amazing that I have to remind you 144 00:04:46,376 --> 00:04:47,642 that I am woke AF. 145 00:04:47,777 --> 00:04:49,110 - I don't know what that means. 146 00:04:49,246 --> 00:04:51,379 - It means I am very in touch with my feelings, 147 00:04:51,515 --> 00:04:54,249 and I'm gonna help everyone else get there too. 148 00:04:54,384 --> 00:04:55,851 - Okay, I guess we've come a long way 149 00:04:55,985 --> 00:04:57,452 from the suck-it-up machismo days. 150 00:04:57,587 --> 00:04:58,786 - Yeah. - You know what? 151 00:04:58,922 --> 00:05:00,121 Don't spend too much time on this Lucy thing. 152 00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:01,589 It's not that big of a deal. 153 00:05:01,725 --> 00:05:03,124 - I'm gonna take as much time as needed, okay? 154 00:05:03,126 --> 00:05:04,860 It's important for us to talk about this stuff. 155 00:05:04,994 --> 00:05:06,261 - Okay. You're right. You're right. 156 00:05:06,396 --> 00:05:08,063 Don't forget about that tetherball pole! 157 00:05:08,198 --> 00:05:10,866 - Yes, I'd like to make an appointment for a pap smear 158 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,267 and a mammogram. 159 00:05:12,402 --> 00:05:15,504 It's for me. Lucy McConky. 160 00:05:17,207 --> 00:05:19,340 No. I'm Lucy McConky. 161 00:05:19,342 --> 00:05:21,543 [laughter] 162 00:05:21,545 --> 00:05:24,011 - "I'm Lucifer McConky." [laughter] 163 00:05:24,013 --> 00:05:25,012 - Heads up, everybody. 164 00:05:25,014 --> 00:05:26,614 Because of this morning's accident, 165 00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:28,616 we have to have a critical incident stress debriefing. 166 00:05:28,618 --> 00:05:30,485 So we need to talk to a peer counselor. 167 00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:32,220 It's now S.O.P. 168 00:05:32,222 --> 00:05:33,755 - Aw, is it really necessary for this one, though, Chief? 169 00:05:33,891 --> 00:05:35,223 - Yeah, I'm the one who got hurt, 170 00:05:35,225 --> 00:05:36,758 and I think it's hilarious. 171 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:37,959 - Then all you need to do is talk to the counselor. 172 00:05:38,095 --> 00:05:39,827 - Well, who's the peer counselor? 173 00:05:39,829 --> 00:05:41,763 - Some touchy-feely dude in a cardigan sweater. 174 00:05:41,899 --> 00:05:43,565 Guaranteed. - [chuckles] 175 00:05:43,567 --> 00:05:45,100 "I'm Dr. Benjamin Nesmith, 176 00:05:45,235 --> 00:05:47,835 and I'm here to get you in touch with your emotions." 177 00:05:47,971 --> 00:05:48,904 [laughter] 178 00:05:49,038 --> 00:05:51,038 - My name is Dr. Leslie Tenderheart, 179 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,174 and we gonna use these two here dolls 180 00:05:53,176 --> 00:05:54,709 to act out our emotions, okay? 181 00:05:54,844 --> 00:05:56,511 - I'm the peer counselor. 182 00:05:56,646 --> 00:05:57,779 [laughter] 183 00:05:57,781 --> 00:05:59,180 - That would be amazing. 184 00:05:59,316 --> 00:06:01,316 - I don't think you get what the riff is, Cap. 185 00:06:01,451 --> 00:06:03,651 You're supposed to come up with, like, a wimpy name 186 00:06:03,787 --> 00:06:04,986 and a--and a voice. 187 00:06:05,122 --> 00:06:06,254 - You're missing the riff. 188 00:06:06,389 --> 00:06:07,255 - I am missing the riff, aren't I? 189 00:06:07,390 --> 00:06:08,924 I got the riff. 190 00:06:09,058 --> 00:06:10,592 But I'm the certified peer counselor for this station. 191 00:06:10,727 --> 00:06:12,660 I am gonna lead the sessions. 192 00:06:12,796 --> 00:06:14,996 - I mean, there's no way I can take Captain seriously 193 00:06:14,998 --> 00:06:16,331 as a therapist. 194 00:06:16,466 --> 00:06:17,865 How does this make you feel? 195 00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:20,535 How does this make you feel? Ayy! 196 00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:21,603 - Here's your choice. 197 00:06:21,605 --> 00:06:23,070 You can wrap hoses all day 198 00:06:23,072 --> 00:06:24,606 or you can drink coffee and chat with me. 199 00:06:24,741 --> 00:06:27,074 - I guess it's Eddie Penisi, Peer Counselor! 200 00:06:27,076 --> 00:06:28,944 - Tuesdays at 9:00 on the Discovery Channel. 201 00:06:29,078 --> 00:06:31,947 - Ooh, yes. - That voice is so good! 202 00:06:32,081 --> 00:06:34,950 ♪ ♪ 203 00:06:35,085 --> 00:06:36,884 - So how do you guys feel about 204 00:06:36,886 --> 00:06:38,987 what happened this morning? 205 00:06:40,157 --> 00:06:42,424 No? Okay, I'll make it easier. 206 00:06:42,559 --> 00:06:44,092 Just one word. 207 00:06:44,227 --> 00:06:47,428 One word to describe how you felt when Lucy got belted. 208 00:06:47,430 --> 00:06:49,230 - Hungry. - Gassy. 209 00:06:49,366 --> 00:06:50,766 - Badass. - Itchy. 210 00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:52,567 - All right. Come on, guys. Let's go. Come on. 211 00:06:52,702 --> 00:06:54,102 - No, no. That's okay, Chief. 212 00:06:54,237 --> 00:06:56,437 I used to be like this too. It's part of the process. 213 00:06:56,439 --> 00:06:57,973 Let's just ease into it. 214 00:06:58,107 --> 00:06:59,975 We can talk about whatever's on your minds. 215 00:07:00,109 --> 00:07:02,310 - Jeez, I mean, I-- I guess can jump in 216 00:07:02,445 --> 00:07:06,114 and say, uh, my parents never bought me 217 00:07:06,249 --> 00:07:07,782 a ten-speed bicycle. 218 00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:09,917 - Oh! - Oh, what a life, Ike! 219 00:07:09,919 --> 00:07:11,919 - Oh, my God! - Oh, that's sad. 220 00:07:11,921 --> 00:07:13,721 - I guess I'll also go then. I mean... 221 00:07:13,857 --> 00:07:16,524 I can't eat dessert unless I finish my dinner. 222 00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:17,993 - No! [overlapping chatter] 223 00:07:18,127 --> 00:07:19,594 - That's getting deep right there! 224 00:07:19,729 --> 00:07:21,329 - All right, I got something. 225 00:07:21,464 --> 00:07:22,730 I've never seen "Breaking Bad," 226 00:07:22,866 --> 00:07:24,265 and I'm afraid that if I watch it now, 227 00:07:24,401 --> 00:07:25,734 it's gonna feel overhyped. 228 00:07:27,404 --> 00:07:29,404 both: Are you kidding me? - Are you kidding me right now? 229 00:07:29,539 --> 00:07:31,539 [overlapping chatter] 230 00:07:31,541 --> 00:07:33,274 - It is literally the greatest show 231 00:07:33,276 --> 00:07:34,609 in the history of television. 232 00:07:34,744 --> 00:07:36,744 - You mean as far as modern television, right? 233 00:07:36,746 --> 00:07:38,013 - Don't start with the "Punky Brewster" stuff. 234 00:07:38,148 --> 00:07:40,548 - It still holds up, man! - Andy, "Punky Brewster" 235 00:07:40,684 --> 00:07:41,883 is not better than "Breaking Bad." 236 00:07:41,885 --> 00:07:43,084 - Okay, agree to disagree. 237 00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:44,686 Lucy, have you seen "Punky Brewster"? 238 00:07:44,688 --> 00:07:46,087 - No. - You've never seen 239 00:07:46,223 --> 00:07:48,089 "Punky Brewster"? - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 240 00:07:48,225 --> 00:07:50,625 [overlapping chatter] 241 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,828 ♪ ♪ 242 00:07:52,962 --> 00:07:54,562 - Mmm! Wow, Mom! 243 00:07:54,564 --> 00:07:56,163 This buffalo poi is amazing. 244 00:07:56,165 --> 00:07:57,632 You've gotta start selling this stuff. 245 00:07:57,767 --> 00:07:59,100 - No way, Jose! 246 00:07:59,236 --> 00:08:00,702 [rip] - Oh! 247 00:08:00,704 --> 00:08:02,437 - That's a secret family recipe. 248 00:08:02,572 --> 00:08:04,439 - So you're gonna find a safer job? 249 00:08:04,574 --> 00:08:06,641 - [scoffs] What are you talking about, Kailani? 250 00:08:06,776 --> 00:08:08,376 I'm not gonna stop being a firefighter. 251 00:08:08,512 --> 00:08:10,311 - Well, if you think we were gonna wax your butt 252 00:08:10,313 --> 00:08:12,580 for your open-casket funeral, then you're mistaken! 253 00:08:12,582 --> 00:08:13,715 - Whoa, whoa! 254 00:08:13,717 --> 00:08:15,383 What's going on with you, Kailani? 255 00:08:15,519 --> 00:08:17,585 And why would you think that people would see my naked butt 256 00:08:17,721 --> 00:08:20,121 in an open-casket funeral? [chuckles] 257 00:08:20,257 --> 00:08:22,457 - There's something that you need to know, Ka'ponko. 258 00:08:22,592 --> 00:08:23,791 Uh, this morning when we thought 259 00:08:23,793 --> 00:08:25,126 something happened to you, 260 00:08:25,262 --> 00:08:27,863 we realized that it would be a tragedy 261 00:08:27,997 --> 00:08:30,398 if--if you died without knowing the truth. 262 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,267 - Wait. What truth? 263 00:08:32,402 --> 00:08:33,401 - Uh... 264 00:08:33,537 --> 00:08:35,937 I am not your mother. 265 00:08:36,073 --> 00:08:37,939 Kailani is. 266 00:08:39,008 --> 00:08:40,475 - [scoffs] Okay, what is this? 267 00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:41,943 "Star Wars"? "I am not your mother." 268 00:08:42,079 --> 00:08:44,079 - I had you when I was just 16 years old. 269 00:08:44,214 --> 00:08:47,215 So we decided it would be best if we raised you 270 00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:49,284 thinking she was your mother and I was your sister. 271 00:08:52,289 --> 00:08:53,689 - Are you serious? 272 00:08:53,823 --> 00:08:55,823 - And the man that you know as Cousin Bill 273 00:08:55,959 --> 00:08:57,292 is actually your father. 274 00:08:57,427 --> 00:08:58,960 That's why he gives you a five dollar bill 275 00:08:58,962 --> 00:09:00,428 in your birthday card every year. 276 00:09:00,430 --> 00:09:03,030 - Why did you wait to tell me after the accident? 277 00:09:03,032 --> 00:09:04,632 - Well, it was a family secret! 278 00:09:04,768 --> 00:09:06,634 - No, no. Buffalo poi is a family secret. 279 00:09:06,636 --> 00:09:07,903 This is something bigger than that. 280 00:09:08,037 --> 00:09:09,571 - You just have to get over it, all right? 281 00:09:09,706 --> 00:09:11,306 The sooner we stop talking about this, 282 00:09:11,441 --> 00:09:12,774 the sooner we can move on. 283 00:09:12,776 --> 00:09:14,576 - We just started talking about this! 284 00:09:14,578 --> 00:09:16,377 - That's just the way it is. 285 00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:18,446 - Do not touch me! 286 00:09:18,582 --> 00:09:21,382 Ow, ow, ow! 287 00:09:21,384 --> 00:09:23,184 [rip] 288 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,186 My asshole... 289 00:09:25,322 --> 00:09:31,059 ♪ ♪ 290 00:09:33,563 --> 00:09:34,830 [rock music] 291 00:09:34,964 --> 00:09:36,231 - All right, everybody, 292 00:09:36,366 --> 00:09:37,899 let's take this session very seriously 293 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:40,768 and not say things we think Eddie wants to hear 294 00:09:40,770 --> 00:09:43,238 because we want to get it over with. 295 00:09:43,373 --> 00:09:44,840 Huh? 296 00:09:44,974 --> 00:09:46,241 Counselor Penisi, take it away. 297 00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:48,976 - Great intro, Chief. Thank you very much. 298 00:09:49,112 --> 00:09:50,712 Lucy's accident reminded me 299 00:09:50,714 --> 00:09:52,447 that firefighters are vulnerable. 300 00:09:52,582 --> 00:09:54,449 Anybody else feel that way? 301 00:09:54,584 --> 00:09:55,917 - Look, I know we're all a bunch 302 00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:57,985 of tough sons-of-bitches here. 303 00:09:57,987 --> 00:10:00,188 We help people, so we don't need help. 304 00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:02,190 We shouldn't have insecurities. 305 00:10:02,192 --> 00:10:04,192 So let me tell you about my insecurity. 306 00:10:04,194 --> 00:10:05,993 All right, you may not know this, 307 00:10:06,129 --> 00:10:07,662 but I have always been neurotic 308 00:10:07,797 --> 00:10:09,531 about being on the shorter side 309 00:10:09,666 --> 00:10:10,665 by firefighter standards. 310 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,200 - Hey. - Oh, come on. 311 00:10:12,202 --> 00:10:13,668 - You should play basketball. - Yeah, right. 312 00:10:13,803 --> 00:10:16,404 - Okay, but when I was starting out, 313 00:10:16,406 --> 00:10:17,805 I wanted to be respected. 314 00:10:17,941 --> 00:10:18,940 Especially 'cause my dad was a hot shot 315 00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:20,275 within the department. 316 00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:22,944 I was afraid that a lot of the older guys 317 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,414 were gonna make fun of me for being short. 318 00:10:26,349 --> 00:10:29,851 And truthfully, some of 'em did. 319 00:10:30,687 --> 00:10:33,221 So I... 320 00:10:34,224 --> 00:10:37,492 Made love to a lot of their wives and girlfriends. 321 00:10:37,627 --> 00:10:38,894 And that helped. 322 00:10:39,028 --> 00:10:41,763 That helped a lot, actually. 323 00:10:41,899 --> 00:10:43,364 Now I feel bad about it 324 00:10:43,366 --> 00:10:46,101 because I threw some A game around town. 325 00:10:46,236 --> 00:10:49,637 I gotta tell you, I've never spoken about that, but... 326 00:10:49,773 --> 00:10:51,172 [sighs] 327 00:10:51,308 --> 00:10:53,709 It feels really good to get off my chest. 328 00:10:53,843 --> 00:10:56,111 - I had a weird dream last night. 329 00:10:56,246 --> 00:10:58,846 Still pretty shaken up about it. 330 00:10:58,982 --> 00:11:00,848 I was on a train. 331 00:11:00,984 --> 00:11:02,784 It was going really fast, 332 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,052 and we were approaching a tunnel. 333 00:11:05,188 --> 00:11:07,122 And just as we were about to enter it, 334 00:11:07,257 --> 00:11:10,057 the train went into reverse, 335 00:11:10,059 --> 00:11:12,860 and it backed out of the tunnel. 336 00:11:12,996 --> 00:11:16,732 And then it lurched itself back into the tunnel. 337 00:11:16,866 --> 00:11:18,666 And it was totally out of control. 338 00:11:18,802 --> 00:11:21,336 It was moving forward and backward. 339 00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:23,070 Forward and backward 340 00:11:23,072 --> 00:11:24,739 - That's a sex dream. - No, it wasn't. 341 00:11:24,874 --> 00:11:26,007 It was terrifying. 342 00:11:26,009 --> 00:11:28,810 And then to make matters worse, 343 00:11:28,946 --> 00:11:30,812 somebody spilt their milk all over me. 344 00:11:30,948 --> 00:11:32,680 - Okay, thank you. Thank you, Granny. 345 00:11:32,816 --> 00:11:34,081 Trains can be scary. 346 00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:36,451 - Um... - Yeah. 347 00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:38,820 - As an exotic dancer, 348 00:11:38,822 --> 00:11:41,623 sometimes I feel subjectified. 349 00:11:41,758 --> 00:11:42,757 - Objectified. 350 00:11:42,892 --> 00:11:44,359 - No, no. Subjectified. 351 00:11:44,494 --> 00:11:47,094 Like I'm just subject to all this constant attention 352 00:11:47,096 --> 00:11:48,496 by beautiful women. 353 00:11:48,498 --> 00:11:50,832 They wanna give me money and, you know, 354 00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:53,368 like, a fur coat or an Xbox. 355 00:11:53,503 --> 00:11:54,702 - Why don't you just quit? 356 00:11:54,838 --> 00:11:57,038 - 'Cause I love the money. 357 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,507 I guess, and the attention. 358 00:11:59,509 --> 00:12:00,976 Like for instance, okay, 359 00:12:01,110 --> 00:12:03,044 the other day, this lady paid me 360 00:12:03,046 --> 00:12:04,579 to paint her daughter's bedroom 361 00:12:04,714 --> 00:12:06,381 wearing nothing but a G-string. 362 00:12:06,516 --> 00:12:09,050 So I did it, and I'm like, "Okay, wait. 363 00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:12,520 Am I a dancer, or am I a painter?" 364 00:12:12,656 --> 00:12:14,055 You know? 365 00:12:14,057 --> 00:12:15,923 Like, I was having an indemnity crisis. 366 00:12:16,059 --> 00:12:17,325 - Identity crisis. - No, indemnity. 367 00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:19,327 Like if I felt like if I did a poor job 368 00:12:19,329 --> 00:12:21,062 painting her bedroom, I'd be held financially responsible. 369 00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:23,130 - Okay. Good share, Ike. 370 00:12:23,132 --> 00:12:24,532 Speaking of daughters, 371 00:12:24,668 --> 00:12:27,869 Terry, let's talk about the Lucy incident. 372 00:12:28,005 --> 00:12:30,205 - My sister is my mother! 373 00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:31,606 - Say again? 374 00:12:31,741 --> 00:12:33,408 - After the Lucy incident, 375 00:12:33,543 --> 00:12:37,278 my mother and sister were so worried about me dying 376 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,547 that they confessed that my sister had me 377 00:12:39,683 --> 00:12:41,082 when she was 16, 378 00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:44,019 and they've been pretending that I'm her little brother. 379 00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:46,954 - Whoa. - No, woe is me. 380 00:12:46,956 --> 00:12:49,290 Because my whole childhood is twisted. 381 00:12:49,426 --> 00:12:51,759 Also I just realized that I went to senior prom 382 00:12:51,761 --> 00:12:53,495 with my mom. 383 00:12:53,630 --> 00:12:55,831 And I've been getting my butt waxed this whole time 384 00:12:55,965 --> 00:12:57,365 by my grandmother! 385 00:12:57,501 --> 00:12:59,567 - Can we just circle back to the--the prom thing? 386 00:12:59,569 --> 00:13:02,504 Did you say you went to senior prom with your sister? 387 00:13:02,506 --> 00:13:03,771 - The worst part about it 388 00:13:03,907 --> 00:13:06,441 is that I can't even talk about it. 389 00:13:06,576 --> 00:13:08,643 They just want me to forget it 390 00:13:08,778 --> 00:13:10,778 and don't make it a big deal. 391 00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:12,848 - Hang on, they won't even let you talk about it? 392 00:13:12,982 --> 00:13:14,249 - No, Cap! 393 00:13:14,384 --> 00:13:17,318 They just say, "Push it down, Ka'ponko! 394 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,187 Push it down!" 395 00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:21,389 - Andy, you need to have it out with them tonight. 396 00:13:21,391 --> 00:13:22,190 ♪ ♪ 397 00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:23,658 [rips] - Ah! 398 00:13:23,793 --> 00:13:25,993 - I don't understand why you won't help me process this. 399 00:13:26,129 --> 00:13:27,395 Don't you see how hard this is for me? 400 00:13:27,531 --> 00:13:29,130 - This must be your first Brazilian. 401 00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,866 - Yeah, this patch is way stubborn. 402 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:31,867 [rips] 403 00:13:32,001 --> 00:13:33,268 - Ah! - Come on! 404 00:13:33,403 --> 00:13:35,070 When I was 12 years old looking through 405 00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:37,272 the peephole into my sister's room, I was actually 406 00:13:37,407 --> 00:13:39,607 watching my mother hook up with her boyfriend. 407 00:13:39,609 --> 00:13:41,409 - You know what, this is hard for me, too, all right? 408 00:13:41,411 --> 00:13:44,079 Yesterday I was a mother, today I'm a grandmother. 409 00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:46,013 I'm too young to be a grandmother! 410 00:13:46,149 --> 00:13:47,082 [rips] - Okay. 411 00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:48,683 Feet, back, nipples done. 412 00:13:48,818 --> 00:13:50,017 - Come on! 413 00:13:50,153 --> 00:13:51,286 - Sorry for the distractions. 414 00:13:51,421 --> 00:13:53,088 My son was just leaving! [rips] 415 00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:54,756 - I'm not going anywhere. 416 00:13:54,758 --> 00:13:55,891 - Oh! Whew! 417 00:13:56,025 --> 00:13:58,359 Hiya, Myawani. Whew! 418 00:13:58,361 --> 00:14:00,027 You mom-sister and grandma-mom 419 00:14:00,163 --> 00:14:01,696 give good wax. 420 00:14:01,831 --> 00:14:03,030 And great family drama. 421 00:14:03,032 --> 00:14:04,232 Better than the soap operas 422 00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:06,568 I watch at home with my mother. 423 00:14:06,703 --> 00:14:08,503 See you girls next month. 424 00:14:08,638 --> 00:14:10,638 - I have no mother. 425 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:11,973 I have no grandma either. 426 00:14:12,109 --> 00:14:14,175 - Wha-- [scoffs] 427 00:14:14,177 --> 00:14:16,712 - Do a cow. - Moo! 428 00:14:16,846 --> 00:14:18,846 [laughter] 429 00:14:18,848 --> 00:14:21,048 - Do a frog. - Ribbit! Ribbit! 430 00:14:21,050 --> 00:14:22,317 - Oh, a gorilla, a gorilla! Do a gorilla! 431 00:14:22,452 --> 00:14:24,519 - Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! 432 00:14:24,654 --> 00:14:26,387 [laughter] 433 00:14:26,389 --> 00:14:29,358 - [coughing] 434 00:14:31,461 --> 00:14:32,794 Hey, Chief, we still going 435 00:14:32,796 --> 00:14:34,329 furniture shopping together this weekend? 436 00:14:34,464 --> 00:14:37,865 - Uh, my weekend's starting to fill up a little bit. 437 00:14:37,867 --> 00:14:40,868 I got some things with your sisters I've gotta do... 438 00:14:40,870 --> 00:14:42,203 - What? We made plans. 439 00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:43,605 And I thought we could go do karaoke afterwards. 440 00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:45,607 - Is your voice getting lower? 441 00:14:45,742 --> 00:14:47,875 - Yeah, I told you it was gonna get worse before it got better. 442 00:14:48,011 --> 00:14:50,745 [grunting, coughing] 443 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,213 - You hear that? I just... 444 00:14:52,215 --> 00:14:53,481 I think I just heard 445 00:14:53,483 --> 00:14:55,216 some pizza rolls in the microwave. 446 00:14:55,218 --> 00:14:56,818 The one in my office. 447 00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:58,620 Uh, I'm just gonna... 448 00:14:58,755 --> 00:15:00,622 I'm gonna grab them. 449 00:15:00,757 --> 00:15:02,557 I'll be right back. 450 00:15:02,692 --> 00:15:04,091 - We have pizza rolls? 451 00:15:04,093 --> 00:15:05,627 Hey, Chief, bring some back! 452 00:15:05,629 --> 00:15:06,828 ♪ ♪ 453 00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:08,496 - Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry. 454 00:15:08,498 --> 00:15:10,832 Hang on. 455 00:15:10,834 --> 00:15:12,300 I'd love it if you'd share today. 456 00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:14,035 - Why? I wasn't even at the accident. 457 00:15:14,037 --> 00:15:15,503 - The accident involved your daughter. 458 00:15:15,505 --> 00:15:18,105 - I'm fine, Eddie. - I know. I know. 459 00:15:18,107 --> 00:15:19,975 Sometimes there's things hiding inside 460 00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:21,242 that we don't know about 461 00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:22,577 that come out when we talk about them. 462 00:15:22,712 --> 00:15:24,111 - You want me to share right now? 463 00:15:24,113 --> 00:15:25,046 Is that what you want? Huh? 464 00:15:25,182 --> 00:15:27,315 Okay. [mocks crying] 465 00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:29,184 I can't believe you haven't ordered the tetherball pole! 466 00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,519 [mocks crying] Is that what you want? 467 00:15:31,655 --> 00:15:34,389 For me to cry? - Terry, please. 468 00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:35,590 I've seen you cry a million times. 469 00:15:35,725 --> 00:15:36,858 - Bullshit! 470 00:15:36,860 --> 00:15:38,059 - You cried when Ichiro retired. 471 00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:39,727 - Prove it. - I have it on video. 472 00:15:39,729 --> 00:15:40,728 - You're lucky I'm even 473 00:15:40,864 --> 00:15:42,330 sitting in on those sessions. 474 00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:44,332 Why don't you go use your Oprah routine with Andy? 475 00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:46,134 Focus on people with real problems, 476 00:15:46,269 --> 00:15:47,469 'cause I don't have any. 477 00:15:47,604 --> 00:15:49,004 ♪ ♪ 478 00:15:49,139 --> 00:15:50,738 - Okay. 479 00:15:50,874 --> 00:15:52,007 ♪ ♪ 480 00:15:52,142 --> 00:15:53,608 Okay, gang, 481 00:15:53,743 --> 00:15:55,476 we're gonna try something a little different today. 482 00:15:55,478 --> 00:15:56,744 We're gonna do some roleplaying. 483 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,413 - Ooh. - Kinky. 484 00:15:58,548 --> 00:16:01,016 - And I brought some special guests. 485 00:16:01,150 --> 00:16:03,951 Ladies, come on in. 486 00:16:03,953 --> 00:16:05,753 - Whoa. Super kinky. 487 00:16:05,889 --> 00:16:07,022 - Hey, what is this? 488 00:16:07,157 --> 00:16:09,090 - Don't worry. You don't have to do anything. 489 00:16:09,092 --> 00:16:10,492 I just want you to watch, okay? 490 00:16:10,494 --> 00:16:12,027 Come on. Guys, come on up here. 491 00:16:12,162 --> 00:16:13,462 Ladies, go have a seat. 492 00:16:14,832 --> 00:16:16,498 Okay, Ikie. - Yeah. 493 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,633 - You are gonna play Kailani. - Oh, cool! 494 00:16:18,768 --> 00:16:19,701 [mimics guns shooting] 495 00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:22,637 - Granny, you're gonna play grandma. 496 00:16:22,772 --> 00:16:24,239 - It is such an honor. 497 00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:25,973 - Andy, you're gonna be you, okay? 498 00:16:26,109 --> 00:16:27,442 Now you can say what you want to say. 499 00:16:27,577 --> 00:16:30,578 - Uh, should we do the accents, or is that problematic? 500 00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:31,979 - Your choice. 501 00:16:32,115 --> 00:16:33,314 - We weren't sure. 502 00:16:33,316 --> 00:16:35,316 - I don't think this is gonna end well. 503 00:16:35,318 --> 00:16:37,185 - You've hurt me on so many levels. 504 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,521 One, that you've kept it from me. 505 00:16:39,523 --> 00:16:42,190 And two, that we can't even talk about it. 506 00:16:42,992 --> 00:16:44,860 - [Jamaican accent] Don't worry about it, brah! 507 00:16:44,994 --> 00:16:47,328 What's your favorite wax technique? 508 00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:49,197 - [Jamaican accent] Up and down, side to side. 509 00:16:49,332 --> 00:16:50,798 It don't matter. - Wrong. 510 00:16:50,934 --> 00:16:53,935 You apply the wax in the direction the hair grows, 511 00:16:53,937 --> 00:16:55,070 then you pull bottom to top. 512 00:16:55,205 --> 00:16:56,404 Get it right! - Okay. 513 00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,005 - Keep going. Keep going. 514 00:16:58,007 --> 00:17:00,475 - I feel like I've missed out on having a real relationship 515 00:17:00,610 --> 00:17:01,809 with you, Mom. 516 00:17:01,811 --> 00:17:03,411 - Stuff it down, man! 517 00:17:03,547 --> 00:17:05,480 Push it down, Ka'ponko! 518 00:17:05,615 --> 00:17:07,215 Me never chat with you about this! 519 00:17:07,350 --> 00:17:09,617 - That's a terrible Hawaiian accent. 520 00:17:09,619 --> 00:17:11,352 - You sound Jamaican, you racist. 521 00:17:11,354 --> 00:17:13,488 - Wait, whoa! I'm not racist! 522 00:17:13,623 --> 00:17:15,623 - Says you! - I am not racist. 523 00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:17,225 - Guys, stand closer. Where you going? 524 00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:18,826 - Keep going. Keep going. 525 00:17:18,828 --> 00:17:19,895 - I'm not racist. 526 00:17:20,029 --> 00:17:21,563 - Why can't we talk about this? 527 00:17:21,565 --> 00:17:22,764 We're family. 528 00:17:22,766 --> 00:17:25,967 - No time to talk. Have to wax a sensitive area. 529 00:17:25,969 --> 00:17:27,102 - [Irish accent] That's right. 530 00:17:27,237 --> 00:17:28,436 And I've got to wax 531 00:17:28,572 --> 00:17:31,038 a little soul patch into me customer. 532 00:17:31,174 --> 00:17:32,173 - Enough, okay? 533 00:17:32,309 --> 00:17:33,709 I did not close down shop 534 00:17:33,843 --> 00:17:35,042 during lunch rush 535 00:17:35,044 --> 00:17:36,844 to watch amateur improv. 536 00:17:36,980 --> 00:17:38,613 Let's go, Kailani. 537 00:17:40,049 --> 00:17:42,284 - Wait. M-- 538 00:17:43,653 --> 00:17:44,986 - You okay, buddy? 539 00:17:44,988 --> 00:17:48,456 - Actually, I feel fantastic. 540 00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:51,159 Like it or not, they heard what I had to say. 541 00:17:51,995 --> 00:17:53,929 - Awesome. - Okay. 542 00:17:54,063 --> 00:17:55,130 Chief and Lucy, your turn. 543 00:17:55,265 --> 00:17:57,465 - Sweet! - Uh, no thanks. 544 00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,066 - It really hurts me that you can't stand 545 00:17:59,068 --> 00:18:00,736 the sound of my voice. - What are you talking about? 546 00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:02,537 I love your voice; you sound like the guy who used to host 547 00:18:02,672 --> 00:18:04,139 Soul Train--Granny, what was that guy's name? 548 00:18:04,274 --> 00:18:06,408 - Why would I know the name of the guy who hosted Soul Train? 549 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,276 - Oh! [chuckles] Right. 550 00:18:08,278 --> 00:18:10,145 - Oh, it's 'cause I dream about trains? 551 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,948 - That's it. You're the train guy. 552 00:18:13,082 --> 00:18:14,149 - Let's switch it up. 553 00:18:14,284 --> 00:18:16,284 Lucy, you be Chief. Chief, you be Lucy. 554 00:18:16,419 --> 00:18:18,353 Lucy, start it off. 555 00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:21,022 - Okay, um... 556 00:18:21,691 --> 00:18:24,159 Don't interrupt! I know everything! 557 00:18:24,294 --> 00:18:25,427 I'm the chief, and I'm your dad! 558 00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:26,894 And the answer is no! 559 00:18:26,896 --> 00:18:28,496 No, no, no, no, no! 560 00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,031 - Oh, that's your imitation of me? 561 00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,299 That's it, huh? - Mm-hmm. 562 00:18:31,434 --> 00:18:32,500 - I can play this game too. 563 00:18:32,636 --> 00:18:34,302 I can do this. All right. 564 00:18:34,304 --> 00:18:35,971 Hey, my name's Lucy, 565 00:18:36,106 --> 00:18:37,572 and I'm the reckless probie 566 00:18:37,707 --> 00:18:39,641 who doesn't care how our actions affect other people! 567 00:18:39,776 --> 00:18:43,044 Maybe I should find a safer job like accounting! 568 00:18:43,981 --> 00:18:46,848 - That was awesome. - Yeah, good impression, Chief. 569 00:18:46,984 --> 00:18:48,583 [buzzer blares] dispatcher: Station 24. 570 00:18:48,718 --> 00:18:51,586 Man on a ledge. 1113 Harrison Avenue. 571 00:18:51,721 --> 00:18:53,188 - All right, this is bullshit. 572 00:18:53,323 --> 00:18:54,656 Do you even know what you're doing? 573 00:18:54,658 --> 00:18:56,792 - Yes, I do. - Then what does Andy's mom 574 00:18:56,926 --> 00:18:58,460 and sister have to do with Lucy's accident? 575 00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,796 - Lucy's accident is what made Andy's 576 00:19:00,930 --> 00:19:02,530 mom and grandma tell him the truth. 577 00:19:02,666 --> 00:19:04,532 - All right, you know what? We're done with this. 578 00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,001 - No, we're done when I say we're done. 579 00:19:06,135 --> 00:19:07,202 - No, we're done now! 580 00:19:07,337 --> 00:19:09,004 - No, we're done when I say we're done. 581 00:19:09,138 --> 00:19:10,738 - Where are you going? - I'm going on a call. 582 00:19:10,874 --> 00:19:12,340 - Well, so am I! - Oh, you're coming? 583 00:19:12,342 --> 00:19:13,709 - Yeah, I'm coming! - About time! 584 00:19:18,014 --> 00:19:19,281 - Just leave me alone, please! 585 00:19:19,416 --> 00:19:22,016 Can you please let a man die in peace? 586 00:19:22,152 --> 00:19:24,686 Leave me alone! I'm gonna jump! 587 00:19:24,821 --> 00:19:26,488 I'm gonna do it! I swear! 588 00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:30,158 Go away! Leave me alone, okay? 589 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,426 - Car one on the scene. Car one in command. 590 00:19:32,428 --> 00:19:35,830 - Go away! Leave me alone, okay? 591 00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:37,632 Get out of here! 592 00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:38,633 Go away! 593 00:19:40,104 --> 00:19:43,105 - Hey, folks, I need you to step back! 594 00:19:43,239 --> 00:19:45,707 - [sighs] - Leave me alone! 595 00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:48,310 [indistinct shouting] - Who's going up there? 596 00:19:48,445 --> 00:19:50,645 - I am, obviously. I'm the most qualified. 597 00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:51,846 - Hold on a second. 598 00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,247 I've talked to a few jumpers in my day. 599 00:19:53,249 --> 00:19:55,117 - Okay, so you go. - You want me to? 600 00:19:55,251 --> 00:19:56,918 - Yeah, if you're so good at it, you go. 601 00:19:57,053 --> 00:19:58,320 - Fine. I will go. 602 00:19:58,454 --> 00:20:00,254 - Okay, stop chattering and start laddering. 603 00:20:00,390 --> 00:20:02,056 - I'm in charge here! - Good. 604 00:20:02,192 --> 00:20:03,525 - Stop looking at me! - Be safe, Chief. 605 00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,127 - Stop telling me what to do. 606 00:20:05,261 --> 00:20:07,996 [suspenseful music] 607 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:10,532 - Get off of that thing, man! 608 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:12,667 ♪ ♪ 609 00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:13,735 Stay away, man! 610 00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:15,603 I'm not kidding! Back off, man! 611 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,207 Stay away, man! I'm gonna jump! 612 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,876 - I just wanna talk. - Okay, well, I don't! 613 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,545 I wanna be alone. - I get it. 614 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,147 I'm the strong, silent type too. 615 00:20:25,281 --> 00:20:27,015 - Oh, yeah? Like Ryan Gosling? 616 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,482 - I don't know who that is. - What? 617 00:20:28,484 --> 00:20:30,284 It's America's handsome boy, man! 618 00:20:30,286 --> 00:20:32,286 Come on. "La La Land"? - Never heard of it. 619 00:20:32,422 --> 00:20:33,822 - You never heard of "La La Land"? 620 00:20:33,957 --> 00:20:35,757 What about "The Notebook"? - You're losing me now. 621 00:20:35,892 --> 00:20:37,492 - It's a masterpiece, sir! 622 00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,361 - I'm more of a Stallone guy. - Who? 623 00:20:39,496 --> 00:20:41,163 - How do you not know who Stallone is? 624 00:20:41,297 --> 00:20:43,165 - How do you not know who Ryan Gosling is? 625 00:20:43,299 --> 00:20:44,632 - I feel like we're not connecting here. 626 00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:46,835 - No, we're not, okay? Just go away, please! 627 00:20:46,970 --> 00:20:48,302 You're pissing me off, man! 628 00:20:48,304 --> 00:20:49,437 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 629 00:20:49,573 --> 00:20:50,638 You married? 630 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,974 - My wife ran off with my business partner 631 00:20:53,109 --> 00:20:54,509 after embezzling a million dollars 632 00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:56,444 from my frozen yogurt franchise. 633 00:20:56,580 --> 00:20:58,112 Hence the roof! 634 00:20:58,114 --> 00:20:59,514 - Okay. 635 00:20:59,649 --> 00:21:01,916 I like frozen yogurt more than I thought I would. 636 00:21:01,918 --> 00:21:03,185 - Cool! 637 00:21:03,319 --> 00:21:05,053 - [sighs] You got kids? 638 00:21:05,189 --> 00:21:07,455 - I got three boys. - Hey, I got three girls. 639 00:21:07,591 --> 00:21:09,191 - You know, they say boys are made 640 00:21:09,325 --> 00:21:11,726 when the wife has an orgasm during conception, so... 641 00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:12,994 - People have told me that. It's not true. 642 00:21:13,129 --> 00:21:14,396 - It's true. - It's not true. 643 00:21:14,531 --> 00:21:15,730 - Google it! - There's no evidence. 644 00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:17,265 - You could Bing it too. Same results. 645 00:21:17,267 --> 00:21:18,400 - There's no proof of that fact. 646 00:21:18,535 --> 00:21:20,134 - I proved it three times. 647 00:21:20,270 --> 00:21:21,936 - All right, regardless, okay, we both got kids. 648 00:21:21,938 --> 00:21:24,072 Matter of fact, that's my oldest right down there. 649 00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,407 The firefighter on the end. 650 00:21:25,542 --> 00:21:27,075 - You ever worried she'll get hurt on the job? 651 00:21:27,211 --> 00:21:28,543 - Every day. 652 00:21:28,678 --> 00:21:30,478 Matter of fact, she just got hit in the throat. 653 00:21:30,614 --> 00:21:32,814 Now she sounds like an old timey jazz singer. 654 00:21:32,949 --> 00:21:35,950 - Hey, I need you guys back behind the car! 655 00:21:35,952 --> 00:21:37,219 - Wow. Like Morgan Freeman. 656 00:21:37,353 --> 00:21:39,221 - Just every time I hear it, it reminds me that 657 00:21:39,355 --> 00:21:40,488 if she hadn't followed in my footsteps, 658 00:21:40,490 --> 00:21:41,823 she wouldn't be in harm's way. 659 00:21:41,958 --> 00:21:43,558 - Hey, we can't protect our kids forever, man. 660 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,294 - I just don't wanna feel afraid and guilty 661 00:21:46,296 --> 00:21:48,496 for as long as she's a firefighter. 662 00:21:48,498 --> 00:21:49,964 - We all feel that way about our kids. 663 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,433 It's normal. 664 00:21:51,568 --> 00:21:54,168 You should talk to somebody about it before you end up, 665 00:21:54,170 --> 00:21:56,238 you know, taking a dive off of a Bordstrom. 666 00:21:56,372 --> 00:21:59,173 - You sound like Eddie. - Eddie sounds woke AF. 667 00:21:59,309 --> 00:22:00,575 - I'm not gonna tell him that. 668 00:22:00,710 --> 00:22:02,110 - Gosh, your depression is making me feel better 669 00:22:02,246 --> 00:22:04,712 about my problems. [chuckles] 670 00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:06,514 Who would've thought that? [laughs] 671 00:22:06,516 --> 00:22:07,916 I was just about to jump off a building. 672 00:22:08,051 --> 00:22:10,384 Now I'm laughing. [laughing] 673 00:22:10,386 --> 00:22:12,120 Thank you, man. Hey, can I get a hug? 674 00:22:12,256 --> 00:22:13,121 - I don't think that's a good idea. 675 00:22:13,257 --> 00:22:14,388 - Come on, man. Please? 676 00:22:14,524 --> 00:22:15,523 - Let me just get you down safely. 677 00:22:15,659 --> 00:22:17,259 - I feel like we connected there. 678 00:22:17,393 --> 00:22:19,193 Come on! Bring it in! - Just hold on. Let's not... 679 00:22:19,329 --> 00:22:20,929 - Get in here. I need it, man. - No, don't-- 680 00:22:20,931 --> 00:22:23,998 - Hey, hey! - [yells] 681 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,701 [overlapping shouts] 682 00:22:27,804 --> 00:22:29,037 all: Oh! 683 00:22:29,873 --> 00:22:32,874 - Whoo! Whee! 684 00:22:33,009 --> 00:22:34,476 That was amazing! 685 00:22:34,611 --> 00:22:37,279 Hey, your team really knows how to talk a guy down. 686 00:22:37,413 --> 00:22:39,747 Free yogurt for everybody! 687 00:22:39,749 --> 00:22:42,284 - [sighs] Oh, oh! 688 00:22:42,418 --> 00:22:44,018 I'm sorry. 689 00:22:44,020 --> 00:22:45,419 I love you. I was wrong. 690 00:22:45,421 --> 00:22:48,290 And I love your voice. - Thanks, Dad. 691 00:22:48,424 --> 00:22:50,558 - Chief, you forgot to secure your safety belt. 692 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,360 - Yeah, well, too bad. We're having a moment here. 693 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:54,429 - But we're gonna have a safety belt refresher course. 694 00:22:54,564 --> 00:22:55,630 - We'll talk about it later. - Okay. 695 00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:57,231 - My daughter. - By the way, 696 00:22:57,233 --> 00:22:58,633 you got 10s across the board for your dive. 697 00:22:58,768 --> 00:23:00,168 - Thank you! 698 00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:02,103 - Ka'ponko! Oh, my goodness! 699 00:23:02,238 --> 00:23:04,038 Thank God you're okay! 700 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,841 - Hey, hey! Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! 701 00:23:06,843 --> 00:23:08,176 Hey! I'm okay! 702 00:23:08,312 --> 00:23:09,577 - The Nextdoor app said there was a guy 703 00:23:09,579 --> 00:23:11,245 who was gonna jump off a building. 704 00:23:11,381 --> 00:23:13,448 We figured it was you because you're such an emotional mess! 705 00:23:13,583 --> 00:23:15,117 - I have every right to be a mess. 706 00:23:15,251 --> 00:23:16,785 - I know. - You do? 707 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:19,721 - Yeah, I was talking to my 2:00 about it, 708 00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:21,790 and she told me I was being a crazy person. 709 00:23:21,925 --> 00:23:24,258 She was right. I was wrong, all right? 710 00:23:24,394 --> 00:23:26,461 We can work through this together! 711 00:23:26,596 --> 00:23:28,530 Aww! 712 00:23:29,333 --> 00:23:31,700 - Oh, hi, Andy's mom. Hi, Andy's grandma. 713 00:23:33,003 --> 00:23:34,202 - Is Ike still single? 714 00:23:34,338 --> 00:23:35,937 - I think so. - Sweet. 715 00:23:36,072 --> 00:23:38,640 I could hit that. - Eww. 716 00:23:40,944 --> 00:23:45,013 [soft R&B music] 717 00:23:45,148 --> 00:23:48,082 - ♪ I wanna tell you, baby ♪ 718 00:23:48,084 --> 00:23:51,152 ♪ What you meant to me ♪ 719 00:23:51,288 --> 00:23:53,688 ♪ All those good times we shared ♪ 720 00:23:53,690 --> 00:23:57,425 ♪ ♪ 721 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,895 ♪ All the love that we have for each other ♪ 722 00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:02,297 ♪ ♪ 723 00:24:02,299 --> 00:24:03,432 - Okay. Come on, Luce. 724 00:24:03,566 --> 00:24:05,166 Rubber match! Let's go! 725 00:24:05,168 --> 00:24:06,901 - [sighs, regular voice] Man. 726 00:24:06,903 --> 00:24:08,503 I really miss my old voice. 727 00:24:08,505 --> 00:24:10,038 I was the talk of the karaoke circuit. 728 00:24:10,173 --> 00:24:13,842 [suspenseful music] 729 00:24:13,977 --> 00:24:15,711 - [yells] 730 00:24:16,847 --> 00:24:18,913 [voice deepens] 731 00:24:18,915 --> 00:24:20,181 - You okay? 732 00:24:20,183 --> 00:24:21,782 - [deep voice] Chief. 733 00:24:21,784 --> 00:24:23,852 You are my father! 734 00:24:23,987 --> 00:24:25,720 [laughter] 735 00:24:25,722 --> 00:24:27,122 - That's awesome. 736 00:24:28,525 --> 00:24:30,659 - It's funny 'cause it's true. 56296

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