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1
00:00:00,890 --> 00:00:03,825
[rock music]
2
00:00:03,827 --> 00:00:05,827
♪ ♪
3
00:00:05,829 --> 00:00:07,295
- Driver is a young male.
4
00:00:07,430 --> 00:00:10,165
Appears to be having a seizure.
Ambulance requested.
5
00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:12,634
- Yeah, these beats
make me wanna rage!
6
00:00:12,636 --> 00:00:14,636
Grab me another vodka soda,
bee-yatch!
7
00:00:14,638 --> 00:00:16,037
- Don't see that every day,
huh?
8
00:00:16,173 --> 00:00:17,305
- [grunting rhythmically]
9
00:00:17,307 --> 00:00:18,906
Does that make you jelly, dawg?
10
00:00:19,042 --> 00:00:21,042
- Is this a concussion thing?
- Sir, can your hear me?
11
00:00:21,178 --> 00:00:22,510
- Ooh, ooh!
Bloop-bloop.
12
00:00:22,512 --> 00:00:23,779
Phew, pew-pew!
[blows raspberries]
13
00:00:23,913 --> 00:00:25,380
- You gotta admit
he's got some great moves.
14
00:00:25,515 --> 00:00:26,781
- He looks like he's on
15
00:00:26,916 --> 00:00:28,583
a new synthetic club drug
called Blast.
16
00:00:28,718 --> 00:00:31,252
The user hallucinates
a complete nightclub setting.
17
00:00:31,388 --> 00:00:32,920
Lights, sound, everything.
18
00:00:32,922 --> 00:00:33,921
- Yeah!
19
00:00:33,923 --> 00:00:35,456
It's your boy Mr. Toasty!
20
00:00:35,458 --> 00:00:36,992
I'm putting this on the Gram!
21
00:00:37,126 --> 00:00:38,526
- I've heard of this stuff.
22
00:00:38,528 --> 00:00:40,261
It's like 75 bucks per dose.
Kind of pricey.
23
00:00:40,397 --> 00:00:41,929
- I mean, yes and no.
24
00:00:41,931 --> 00:00:43,999
Once you factor in
cover charge, bottle service.
25
00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:45,333
- Plus the cost of an Uber.
26
00:00:45,468 --> 00:00:46,601
- It adds up.
- What are we gonna do?
27
00:00:46,736 --> 00:00:48,203
- Maybe we have to wait
until the song ends?
28
00:00:48,338 --> 00:00:50,205
- All right,
I say we go in slowly
29
00:00:50,340 --> 00:00:51,539
and pull him out gently.
30
00:00:51,541 --> 00:00:52,808
- Okay.
- Come on, man.
31
00:00:52,942 --> 00:00:53,941
Come with us.
32
00:00:54,077 --> 00:00:57,144
[dance music]
33
00:00:57,146 --> 00:01:02,017
♪ ♪
34
00:01:02,152 --> 00:01:04,085
- Whoo!
35
00:01:04,087 --> 00:01:09,691
♪ ♪
36
00:01:09,827 --> 00:01:11,158
- Oh!
- Stop.
37
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,293
- Whoa!
- All right, dude!
38
00:01:12,429 --> 00:01:13,961
- Hey!
St--calm down!
39
00:01:13,963 --> 00:01:15,497
- Lucy, you must have some
moves to get a guy
40
00:01:15,632 --> 00:01:16,832
to leave the club with you.
41
00:01:16,966 --> 00:01:19,100
- Excuse me, Ike.
42
00:01:19,102 --> 00:01:21,236
Hey, buddy,
has anyone ever told you
43
00:01:21,371 --> 00:01:23,371
you look like
a young Tony Stark?
44
00:01:23,707 --> 00:01:25,440
[grunts]
both: Oh!
45
00:01:25,575 --> 00:01:26,541
- [coughs]
46
00:01:27,244 --> 00:01:28,576
both: Oh! Oh! Oh!
47
00:01:28,578 --> 00:01:30,645
[horn honks]
- Whoo!
48
00:01:30,780 --> 00:01:33,248
- I wonder what happens
on a second date.
49
00:01:33,383 --> 00:01:34,582
- Are you okay?
50
00:01:34,718 --> 00:01:37,719
[Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"]
51
00:01:37,855 --> 00:01:42,057
♪ ♪
52
00:01:42,192 --> 00:01:44,992
- ♪ Well, I'm hot blooded ♪
53
00:01:44,994 --> 00:01:47,462
♪ Check it and see ♪
54
00:01:47,597 --> 00:01:51,399
♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪
55
00:01:51,535 --> 00:01:54,169
♪ I'm hot blooded ♪
56
00:01:54,804 --> 00:01:57,605
[mellow music]
57
00:01:57,607 --> 00:01:59,941
- Oh!
- There she is!
58
00:02:00,077 --> 00:02:02,277
- Lucy McConky,
Judo Probie!
59
00:02:02,412 --> 00:02:03,678
- Wow.
That's quite a neck-shiner.
60
00:02:03,813 --> 00:02:05,280
You know what?
Rub some dirt in it.
61
00:02:05,415 --> 00:02:06,948
You'll be fine.
- Does that hurt at all, Luce?
62
00:02:07,084 --> 00:02:08,416
- [deep voice]
Only when I breathe or swallow.
63
00:02:08,552 --> 00:02:10,886
all: Whoa!
- What's that all about?
64
00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:12,820
- When the zonked-out driver
whacked me in the throat,
65
00:02:12,956 --> 00:02:14,355
he contused my larynx.
66
00:02:14,357 --> 00:02:16,023
The doctor said I should
be better in a week or two.
67
00:02:16,025 --> 00:02:17,625
- You're gonna sound like that
for two weeks?
68
00:02:17,761 --> 00:02:19,427
- Yeah, give or take
a couple of days,
69
00:02:19,429 --> 00:02:21,629
but he said it's gonna get
worse before it gets better.
70
00:02:21,631 --> 00:02:23,231
- I can't wait
for it to get worse.
71
00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:25,433
- It's a little disturbing.
72
00:02:25,435 --> 00:02:27,368
- Are you crazy, Chief?
This is entertaining as hell.
73
00:02:27,370 --> 00:02:29,237
Hey, do the movie trailer
voice for him.
74
00:02:29,239 --> 00:02:30,906
- Ooh!
75
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,241
In a world full of fear,
76
00:02:33,376 --> 00:02:35,911
where right is wrong
and up is down,
77
00:02:36,045 --> 00:02:39,447
one man has the courage
to take on the system.
78
00:02:39,583 --> 00:02:41,249
- Oh!
- Whoa!
79
00:02:41,384 --> 00:02:43,118
- Oh, no way!
- Oh!
80
00:02:43,253 --> 00:02:45,853
- Do, uh, "Autobots,
transform and roll out!"
81
00:02:45,855 --> 00:02:48,389
- Autobots,
transform and roll out!
82
00:02:48,391 --> 00:02:50,858
- Oh!
Optimus Prime is here!
83
00:02:50,994 --> 00:02:52,728
- Beef.
It's what's for dinner.
84
00:02:52,862 --> 00:02:55,330
- Beef.
It's what's for dinner.
85
00:02:55,465 --> 00:02:57,865
- [laughs]
- Yes!
86
00:02:58,001 --> 00:02:59,334
- Okay, come on.
Let's go, everybody.
87
00:02:59,469 --> 00:03:00,902
Back to work.
Come on. Let's go.
88
00:03:02,071 --> 00:03:03,138
- Oh, there he is.
89
00:03:03,273 --> 00:03:04,806
Oh, Ka'ponko.
There you are!
90
00:03:04,942 --> 00:03:08,009
Are you all right?
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
91
00:03:08,011 --> 00:03:10,011
Hey, hey, hey.
Yes, yes.
92
00:03:10,013 --> 00:03:11,146
I'm fine.
Why?
93
00:03:11,281 --> 00:03:12,614
- We heard
there was a big scuffle
94
00:03:12,616 --> 00:03:14,215
after that car crash
this morning.
95
00:03:14,351 --> 00:03:15,683
- Uh, how did you hear
about that?
96
00:03:15,819 --> 00:03:17,218
- Well, your sister and I
saw it on the internet.
97
00:03:17,354 --> 00:03:18,820
It's all over that
Nextdoor neighborhood app.
98
00:03:18,822 --> 00:03:20,688
- They said
that the firefighters
99
00:03:20,690 --> 00:03:22,824
were being attacked by somebody
on synthetic party drugs.
100
00:03:22,826 --> 00:03:24,559
I heard the guy
lifted up a car!
101
00:03:24,694 --> 00:03:27,428
- You guys have to get off
that Nextdoor app, okay?
102
00:03:27,430 --> 00:03:30,031
- No, you need to leave
the firefighting business.
103
00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:31,566
It's too dangerous.
104
00:03:31,701 --> 00:03:33,301
One of these days, you're
gonna get yourself killed.
105
00:03:33,436 --> 00:03:34,436
- Okay, well, why don't you
106
00:03:34,571 --> 00:03:35,771
stick to your day job,
Kailani?
107
00:03:35,905 --> 00:03:37,772
Because I've already
got a mother.
108
00:03:37,907 --> 00:03:39,641
[laughter]
109
00:03:39,643 --> 00:03:41,509
Oh, I made it light.
- Very funny.
110
00:03:41,645 --> 00:03:43,845
- Now, are you going to come
to the salon tonight?
111
00:03:43,981 --> 00:03:45,580
- Yes, of course.
I'll see you tonight.
112
00:03:45,715 --> 00:03:47,048
- Okay, we'll see you tonight.
- Okay. Okay.
113
00:03:47,184 --> 00:03:48,450
Okay, Mom!
114
00:03:48,585 --> 00:03:50,385
- Hey.
- Whoa.
115
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,120
- Please be careful out there.
116
00:03:52,255 --> 00:03:54,790
- Okay.
Stop worrying.
117
00:03:54,924 --> 00:03:56,191
- Okay.
118
00:03:56,326 --> 00:03:58,660
- What's the matter with you,
fart-face, Mom?
119
00:03:58,796 --> 00:04:00,928
I'll see you guys tonight.
- Be careful.
120
00:04:01,064 --> 00:04:02,263
♪ ♪
121
00:04:02,399 --> 00:04:04,532
- Eddie!
Come here.
122
00:04:04,534 --> 00:04:05,801
- Chiefy, what's up?
123
00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:08,670
- Did you order that
tetherball pole like I asked?
124
00:04:08,672 --> 00:04:10,338
- See, I can't tell if you're
serious about that or not.
125
00:04:10,473 --> 00:04:11,739
- Tetherball?
- Yeah.
126
00:04:11,741 --> 00:04:13,408
- I love tetherball.
It's great for morale.
127
00:04:13,543 --> 00:04:15,410
It's great for cardio.
It's consistently rated one of
128
00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:17,012
the most wholesome activities
in the United States.
129
00:04:17,147 --> 00:04:18,880
- You play tetherball?
- I love tetherball.
130
00:04:18,882 --> 00:04:20,415
- I'm gonna order it...
- Okay.
131
00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:22,217
- And pay with station money
at this moment
132
00:04:22,352 --> 00:04:24,152
if you officially authorize it.
133
00:04:24,287 --> 00:04:25,620
- Authorized.
134
00:04:25,755 --> 00:04:27,955
- Now, because Lucy
required medical attention,
135
00:04:28,091 --> 00:04:29,825
I have to file traumatic event
paperwork.
136
00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:31,559
- Oh, I find all paperwork
traumatic.
137
00:04:31,695 --> 00:04:33,428
[laughs]
I'll be here all week.
138
00:04:33,563 --> 00:04:35,230
- But seriously, folks,
139
00:04:35,365 --> 00:04:37,298
we have to have a critical
incident stress debriefing.
140
00:04:37,434 --> 00:04:38,633
- Who's gonna lead that?
141
00:04:38,768 --> 00:04:41,302
- The designated
peer counselor, me.
142
00:04:41,304 --> 00:04:44,171
- I find it amazing that you
are the station peer counselor.
143
00:04:44,173 --> 00:04:46,241
- I find it amazing
that I have to remind you
144
00:04:46,376 --> 00:04:47,642
that I am woke AF.
145
00:04:47,777 --> 00:04:49,110
- I don't know what that means.
146
00:04:49,246 --> 00:04:51,379
- It means I am very
in touch with my feelings,
147
00:04:51,515 --> 00:04:54,249
and I'm gonna help
everyone else get there too.
148
00:04:54,384 --> 00:04:55,851
- Okay, I guess
we've come a long way
149
00:04:55,985 --> 00:04:57,452
from the suck-it-up
machismo days.
150
00:04:57,587 --> 00:04:58,786
- Yeah.
- You know what?
151
00:04:58,922 --> 00:05:00,121
Don't spend too much time
on this Lucy thing.
152
00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:01,589
It's not that big of a deal.
153
00:05:01,725 --> 00:05:03,124
- I'm gonna take
as much time as needed, okay?
154
00:05:03,126 --> 00:05:04,860
It's important for us to talk
about this stuff.
155
00:05:04,994 --> 00:05:06,261
- Okay.
You're right. You're right.
156
00:05:06,396 --> 00:05:08,063
Don't forget about
that tetherball pole!
157
00:05:08,198 --> 00:05:10,866
- Yes, I'd like to make
an appointment for a pap smear
158
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,267
and a mammogram.
159
00:05:12,402 --> 00:05:15,504
It's for me.
Lucy McConky.
160
00:05:17,207 --> 00:05:19,340
No.
I'm Lucy McConky.
161
00:05:19,342 --> 00:05:21,543
[laughter]
162
00:05:21,545 --> 00:05:24,011
- "I'm Lucifer McConky."
[laughter]
163
00:05:24,013 --> 00:05:25,012
- Heads up, everybody.
164
00:05:25,014 --> 00:05:26,614
Because of this morning's
accident,
165
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:28,616
we have to have a critical
incident stress debriefing.
166
00:05:28,618 --> 00:05:30,485
So we need to talk
to a peer counselor.
167
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:32,220
It's now S.O.P.
168
00:05:32,222 --> 00:05:33,755
- Aw, is it really necessary
for this one, though, Chief?
169
00:05:33,891 --> 00:05:35,223
- Yeah,
I'm the one who got hurt,
170
00:05:35,225 --> 00:05:36,758
and I think it's hilarious.
171
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:37,959
- Then all you need to do
is talk to the counselor.
172
00:05:38,095 --> 00:05:39,827
- Well, who's
the peer counselor?
173
00:05:39,829 --> 00:05:41,763
- Some touchy-feely dude
in a cardigan sweater.
174
00:05:41,899 --> 00:05:43,565
Guaranteed.
- [chuckles]
175
00:05:43,567 --> 00:05:45,100
"I'm Dr. Benjamin Nesmith,
176
00:05:45,235 --> 00:05:47,835
and I'm here to get you
in touch with your emotions."
177
00:05:47,971 --> 00:05:48,904
[laughter]
178
00:05:49,038 --> 00:05:51,038
- My name
is Dr. Leslie Tenderheart,
179
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,174
and we gonna use
these two here dolls
180
00:05:53,176 --> 00:05:54,709
to act out our emotions, okay?
181
00:05:54,844 --> 00:05:56,511
- I'm the peer counselor.
182
00:05:56,646 --> 00:05:57,779
[laughter]
183
00:05:57,781 --> 00:05:59,180
- That would be amazing.
184
00:05:59,316 --> 00:06:01,316
- I don't think you get
what the riff is, Cap.
185
00:06:01,451 --> 00:06:03,651
You're supposed to come up
with, like, a wimpy name
186
00:06:03,787 --> 00:06:04,986
and a--and a voice.
187
00:06:05,122 --> 00:06:06,254
- You're missing the riff.
188
00:06:06,389 --> 00:06:07,255
- I am missing the riff,
aren't I?
189
00:06:07,390 --> 00:06:08,924
I got the riff.
190
00:06:09,058 --> 00:06:10,592
But I'm the certified peer
counselor for this station.
191
00:06:10,727 --> 00:06:12,660
I am gonna lead the sessions.
192
00:06:12,796 --> 00:06:14,996
- I mean, there's no way I can
take Captain seriously
193
00:06:14,998 --> 00:06:16,331
as a therapist.
194
00:06:16,466 --> 00:06:17,865
How does this make you feel?
195
00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:20,535
How does this make you feel?
Ayy!
196
00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:21,603
- Here's your choice.
197
00:06:21,605 --> 00:06:23,070
You can wrap hoses all day
198
00:06:23,072 --> 00:06:24,606
or you can drink coffee
and chat with me.
199
00:06:24,741 --> 00:06:27,074
- I guess it's Eddie Penisi,
Peer Counselor!
200
00:06:27,076 --> 00:06:28,944
- Tuesdays at 9:00
on the Discovery Channel.
201
00:06:29,078 --> 00:06:31,947
- Ooh, yes.
- That voice is so good!
202
00:06:32,081 --> 00:06:34,950
♪ ♪
203
00:06:35,085 --> 00:06:36,884
- So how do you guys
feel about
204
00:06:36,886 --> 00:06:38,987
what happened this morning?
205
00:06:40,157 --> 00:06:42,424
No?
Okay, I'll make it easier.
206
00:06:42,559 --> 00:06:44,092
Just one word.
207
00:06:44,227 --> 00:06:47,428
One word to describe how you
felt when Lucy got belted.
208
00:06:47,430 --> 00:06:49,230
- Hungry.
- Gassy.
209
00:06:49,366 --> 00:06:50,766
- Badass.
- Itchy.
210
00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:52,567
- All right. Come on, guys.
Let's go. Come on.
211
00:06:52,702 --> 00:06:54,102
- No, no.
That's okay, Chief.
212
00:06:54,237 --> 00:06:56,437
I used to be like this too.
It's part of the process.
213
00:06:56,439 --> 00:06:57,973
Let's just ease into it.
214
00:06:58,107 --> 00:06:59,975
We can talk about
whatever's on your minds.
215
00:07:00,109 --> 00:07:02,310
- Jeez, I mean, I--
I guess can jump in
216
00:07:02,445 --> 00:07:06,114
and say, uh,
my parents never bought me
217
00:07:06,249 --> 00:07:07,782
a ten-speed bicycle.
218
00:07:07,917 --> 00:07:09,917
- Oh!
- Oh, what a life, Ike!
219
00:07:09,919 --> 00:07:11,919
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, that's sad.
220
00:07:11,921 --> 00:07:13,721
- I guess I'll also go then.
I mean...
221
00:07:13,857 --> 00:07:16,524
I can't eat dessert
unless I finish my dinner.
222
00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:17,993
- No!
[overlapping chatter]
223
00:07:18,127 --> 00:07:19,594
- That's getting deep
right there!
224
00:07:19,729 --> 00:07:21,329
- All right, I got something.
225
00:07:21,464 --> 00:07:22,730
I've never seen "Breaking Bad,"
226
00:07:22,866 --> 00:07:24,265
and I'm afraid
that if I watch it now,
227
00:07:24,401 --> 00:07:25,734
it's gonna feel overhyped.
228
00:07:27,404 --> 00:07:29,404
both: Are you kidding me?
- Are you kidding me right now?
229
00:07:29,539 --> 00:07:31,539
[overlapping chatter]
230
00:07:31,541 --> 00:07:33,274
- It is literally
the greatest show
231
00:07:33,276 --> 00:07:34,609
in the history of television.
232
00:07:34,744 --> 00:07:36,744
- You mean as far as
modern television, right?
233
00:07:36,746 --> 00:07:38,013
- Don't start with
the "Punky Brewster" stuff.
234
00:07:38,148 --> 00:07:40,548
- It still holds up, man!
- Andy, "Punky Brewster"
235
00:07:40,684 --> 00:07:41,883
is not better
than "Breaking Bad."
236
00:07:41,885 --> 00:07:43,084
- Okay, agree to disagree.
237
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:44,686
Lucy, have you seen
"Punky Brewster"?
238
00:07:44,688 --> 00:07:46,087
- No.
- You've never seen
239
00:07:46,223 --> 00:07:48,089
"Punky Brewster"?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
240
00:07:48,225 --> 00:07:50,625
[overlapping chatter]
241
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,828
♪ ♪
242
00:07:52,962 --> 00:07:54,562
- Mmm!
Wow, Mom!
243
00:07:54,564 --> 00:07:56,163
This buffalo poi is amazing.
244
00:07:56,165 --> 00:07:57,632
You've gotta start selling
this stuff.
245
00:07:57,767 --> 00:07:59,100
- No way, Jose!
246
00:07:59,236 --> 00:08:00,702
[rip]
- Oh!
247
00:08:00,704 --> 00:08:02,437
- That's a secret
family recipe.
248
00:08:02,572 --> 00:08:04,439
- So you're gonna find
a safer job?
249
00:08:04,574 --> 00:08:06,641
- [scoffs] What are you talking
about, Kailani?
250
00:08:06,776 --> 00:08:08,376
I'm not gonna stop
being a firefighter.
251
00:08:08,512 --> 00:08:10,311
- Well, if you think
we were gonna wax your butt
252
00:08:10,313 --> 00:08:12,580
for your open-casket funeral,
then you're mistaken!
253
00:08:12,582 --> 00:08:13,715
- Whoa, whoa!
254
00:08:13,717 --> 00:08:15,383
What's going on with you,
Kailani?
255
00:08:15,519 --> 00:08:17,585
And why would you think that
people would see my naked butt
256
00:08:17,721 --> 00:08:20,121
in an open-casket funeral?
[chuckles]
257
00:08:20,257 --> 00:08:22,457
- There's something that
you need to know, Ka'ponko.
258
00:08:22,592 --> 00:08:23,791
Uh, this morning
when we thought
259
00:08:23,793 --> 00:08:25,126
something happened to you,
260
00:08:25,262 --> 00:08:27,863
we realized that
it would be a tragedy
261
00:08:27,997 --> 00:08:30,398
if--if you died
without knowing the truth.
262
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,267
- Wait.
What truth?
263
00:08:32,402 --> 00:08:33,401
- Uh...
264
00:08:33,537 --> 00:08:35,937
I am not your mother.
265
00:08:36,073 --> 00:08:37,939
Kailani is.
266
00:08:39,008 --> 00:08:40,475
- [scoffs]
Okay, what is this?
267
00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:41,943
"Star Wars"?
"I am not your mother."
268
00:08:42,079 --> 00:08:44,079
- I had you when
I was just 16 years old.
269
00:08:44,214 --> 00:08:47,215
So we decided it would be best
if we raised you
270
00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:49,284
thinking she was your mother
and I was your sister.
271
00:08:52,289 --> 00:08:53,689
- Are you serious?
272
00:08:53,823 --> 00:08:55,823
- And the man that you know
as Cousin Bill
273
00:08:55,959 --> 00:08:57,292
is actually your father.
274
00:08:57,427 --> 00:08:58,960
That's why he gives you
a five dollar bill
275
00:08:58,962 --> 00:09:00,428
in your birthday card
every year.
276
00:09:00,430 --> 00:09:03,030
- Why did you wait to tell me
after the accident?
277
00:09:03,032 --> 00:09:04,632
- Well, it was a family secret!
278
00:09:04,768 --> 00:09:06,634
- No, no.
Buffalo poi is a family secret.
279
00:09:06,636 --> 00:09:07,903
This is something bigger
than that.
280
00:09:08,037 --> 00:09:09,571
- You just have to get over it,
all right?
281
00:09:09,706 --> 00:09:11,306
The sooner
we stop talking about this,
282
00:09:11,441 --> 00:09:12,774
the sooner we can move on.
283
00:09:12,776 --> 00:09:14,576
- We just started talking
about this!
284
00:09:14,578 --> 00:09:16,377
- That's just the way it is.
285
00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:18,446
- Do not touch me!
286
00:09:18,582 --> 00:09:21,382
Ow, ow, ow!
287
00:09:21,384 --> 00:09:23,184
[rip]
288
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,186
My asshole...
289
00:09:25,322 --> 00:09:31,059
♪ ♪
290
00:09:33,563 --> 00:09:34,830
[rock music]
291
00:09:34,964 --> 00:09:36,231
- All right, everybody,
292
00:09:36,366 --> 00:09:37,899
let's take this session
very seriously
293
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:40,768
and not say things
we think Eddie wants to hear
294
00:09:40,770 --> 00:09:43,238
because we want
to get it over with.
295
00:09:43,373 --> 00:09:44,840
Huh?
296
00:09:44,974 --> 00:09:46,241
Counselor Penisi,
take it away.
297
00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:48,976
- Great intro, Chief.
Thank you very much.
298
00:09:49,112 --> 00:09:50,712
Lucy's accident reminded me
299
00:09:50,714 --> 00:09:52,447
that firefighters
are vulnerable.
300
00:09:52,582 --> 00:09:54,449
Anybody else feel that way?
301
00:09:54,584 --> 00:09:55,917
- Look, I know
we're all a bunch
302
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:57,985
of tough sons-of-bitches here.
303
00:09:57,987 --> 00:10:00,188
We help people,
so we don't need help.
304
00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:02,190
We shouldn't have insecurities.
305
00:10:02,192 --> 00:10:04,192
So let me tell you
about my insecurity.
306
00:10:04,194 --> 00:10:05,993
All right,
you may not know this,
307
00:10:06,129 --> 00:10:07,662
but I have always
been neurotic
308
00:10:07,797 --> 00:10:09,531
about being
on the shorter side
309
00:10:09,666 --> 00:10:10,665
by firefighter standards.
310
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,200
- Hey.
- Oh, come on.
311
00:10:12,202 --> 00:10:13,668
- You should play basketball.
- Yeah, right.
312
00:10:13,803 --> 00:10:16,404
- Okay,
but when I was starting out,
313
00:10:16,406 --> 00:10:17,805
I wanted to be respected.
314
00:10:17,941 --> 00:10:18,940
Especially 'cause my dad
was a hot shot
315
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:20,275
within the department.
316
00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:22,944
I was afraid that a lot
of the older guys
317
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,414
were gonna make fun of me
for being short.
318
00:10:26,349 --> 00:10:29,851
And truthfully,
some of 'em did.
319
00:10:30,687 --> 00:10:33,221
So I...
320
00:10:34,224 --> 00:10:37,492
Made love to a lot
of their wives and girlfriends.
321
00:10:37,627 --> 00:10:38,894
And that helped.
322
00:10:39,028 --> 00:10:41,763
That helped a lot, actually.
323
00:10:41,899 --> 00:10:43,364
Now I feel bad about it
324
00:10:43,366 --> 00:10:46,101
because I threw some
A game around town.
325
00:10:46,236 --> 00:10:49,637
I gotta tell you, I've never
spoken about that, but...
326
00:10:49,773 --> 00:10:51,172
[sighs]
327
00:10:51,308 --> 00:10:53,709
It feels really good
to get off my chest.
328
00:10:53,843 --> 00:10:56,111
- I had a weird dream
last night.
329
00:10:56,246 --> 00:10:58,846
Still pretty shaken up
about it.
330
00:10:58,982 --> 00:11:00,848
I was on a train.
331
00:11:00,984 --> 00:11:02,784
It was going really fast,
332
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,052
and we were approaching
a tunnel.
333
00:11:05,188 --> 00:11:07,122
And just as we were
about to enter it,
334
00:11:07,257 --> 00:11:10,057
the train went into reverse,
335
00:11:10,059 --> 00:11:12,860
and it backed out
of the tunnel.
336
00:11:12,996 --> 00:11:16,732
And then it lurched itself
back into the tunnel.
337
00:11:16,866 --> 00:11:18,666
And it was totally
out of control.
338
00:11:18,802 --> 00:11:21,336
It was moving forward
and backward.
339
00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:23,070
Forward and backward
340
00:11:23,072 --> 00:11:24,739
- That's a sex dream.
- No, it wasn't.
341
00:11:24,874 --> 00:11:26,007
It was terrifying.
342
00:11:26,009 --> 00:11:28,810
And then to make matters worse,
343
00:11:28,946 --> 00:11:30,812
somebody spilt their milk
all over me.
344
00:11:30,948 --> 00:11:32,680
- Okay, thank you.
Thank you, Granny.
345
00:11:32,816 --> 00:11:34,081
Trains can be scary.
346
00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:36,451
- Um...
- Yeah.
347
00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:38,820
- As an exotic dancer,
348
00:11:38,822 --> 00:11:41,623
sometimes I feel subjectified.
349
00:11:41,758 --> 00:11:42,757
- Objectified.
350
00:11:42,892 --> 00:11:44,359
- No, no.
Subjectified.
351
00:11:44,494 --> 00:11:47,094
Like I'm just subject
to all this constant attention
352
00:11:47,096 --> 00:11:48,496
by beautiful women.
353
00:11:48,498 --> 00:11:50,832
They wanna give me money
and, you know,
354
00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:53,368
like, a fur coat or an Xbox.
355
00:11:53,503 --> 00:11:54,702
- Why don't you just quit?
356
00:11:54,838 --> 00:11:57,038
- 'Cause I love the money.
357
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,507
I guess,
and the attention.
358
00:11:59,509 --> 00:12:00,976
Like for instance, okay,
359
00:12:01,110 --> 00:12:03,044
the other day,
this lady paid me
360
00:12:03,046 --> 00:12:04,579
to paint her daughter's bedroom
361
00:12:04,714 --> 00:12:06,381
wearing nothing but a G-string.
362
00:12:06,516 --> 00:12:09,050
So I did it, and I'm like,
"Okay, wait.
363
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:12,520
Am I a dancer,
or am I a painter?"
364
00:12:12,656 --> 00:12:14,055
You know?
365
00:12:14,057 --> 00:12:15,923
Like, I was having
an indemnity crisis.
366
00:12:16,059 --> 00:12:17,325
- Identity crisis.
- No, indemnity.
367
00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:19,327
Like if I felt like
if I did a poor job
368
00:12:19,329 --> 00:12:21,062
painting her bedroom, I'd be
held financially responsible.
369
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:23,130
- Okay.
Good share, Ike.
370
00:12:23,132 --> 00:12:24,532
Speaking of daughters,
371
00:12:24,668 --> 00:12:27,869
Terry, let's talk about
the Lucy incident.
372
00:12:28,005 --> 00:12:30,205
- My sister is my mother!
373
00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:31,606
- Say again?
374
00:12:31,741 --> 00:12:33,408
- After the Lucy incident,
375
00:12:33,543 --> 00:12:37,278
my mother and sister
were so worried about me dying
376
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,547
that they confessed
that my sister had me
377
00:12:39,683 --> 00:12:41,082
when she was 16,
378
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:44,019
and they've been pretending
that I'm her little brother.
379
00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:46,954
- Whoa.
- No, woe is me.
380
00:12:46,956 --> 00:12:49,290
Because my whole childhood
is twisted.
381
00:12:49,426 --> 00:12:51,759
Also I just realized
that I went to senior prom
382
00:12:51,761 --> 00:12:53,495
with my mom.
383
00:12:53,630 --> 00:12:55,831
And I've been getting
my butt waxed this whole time
384
00:12:55,965 --> 00:12:57,365
by my grandmother!
385
00:12:57,501 --> 00:12:59,567
- Can we just circle back
to the--the prom thing?
386
00:12:59,569 --> 00:13:02,504
Did you say you went to senior
prom with your sister?
387
00:13:02,506 --> 00:13:03,771
- The worst part about it
388
00:13:03,907 --> 00:13:06,441
is that I can't even
talk about it.
389
00:13:06,576 --> 00:13:08,643
They just want me to forget it
390
00:13:08,778 --> 00:13:10,778
and don't make it a big deal.
391
00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:12,848
- Hang on, they won't even
let you talk about it?
392
00:13:12,982 --> 00:13:14,249
- No, Cap!
393
00:13:14,384 --> 00:13:17,318
They just say,
"Push it down, Ka'ponko!
394
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,187
Push it down!"
395
00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:21,389
- Andy, you need to have it out
with them tonight.
396
00:13:21,391 --> 00:13:22,190
♪ ♪
397
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:23,658
[rips]
- Ah!
398
00:13:23,793 --> 00:13:25,993
- I don't understand why you
won't help me process this.
399
00:13:26,129 --> 00:13:27,395
Don't you see how hard
this is for me?
400
00:13:27,531 --> 00:13:29,130
- This must be
your first Brazilian.
401
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,866
- Yeah, this patch
is way stubborn.
402
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:31,867
[rips]
403
00:13:32,001 --> 00:13:33,268
- Ah!
- Come on!
404
00:13:33,403 --> 00:13:35,070
When I was 12 years old
looking through
405
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:37,272
the peephole into my sister's
room, I was actually
406
00:13:37,407 --> 00:13:39,607
watching my mother
hook up with her boyfriend.
407
00:13:39,609 --> 00:13:41,409
- You know what, this is hard
for me, too, all right?
408
00:13:41,411 --> 00:13:44,079
Yesterday I was a mother,
today I'm a grandmother.
409
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:46,013
I'm too young
to be a grandmother!
410
00:13:46,149 --> 00:13:47,082
[rips]
- Okay.
411
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:48,683
Feet, back, nipples done.
412
00:13:48,818 --> 00:13:50,017
- Come on!
413
00:13:50,153 --> 00:13:51,286
- Sorry for the distractions.
414
00:13:51,421 --> 00:13:53,088
My son was just leaving!
[rips]
415
00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:54,756
- I'm not going anywhere.
416
00:13:54,758 --> 00:13:55,891
- Oh! Whew!
417
00:13:56,025 --> 00:13:58,359
Hiya, Myawani. Whew!
418
00:13:58,361 --> 00:14:00,027
You mom-sister
and grandma-mom
419
00:14:00,163 --> 00:14:01,696
give good wax.
420
00:14:01,831 --> 00:14:03,030
And great family drama.
421
00:14:03,032 --> 00:14:04,232
Better than the soap operas
422
00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:06,568
I watch at home with my mother.
423
00:14:06,703 --> 00:14:08,503
See you girls next month.
424
00:14:08,638 --> 00:14:10,638
- I have no mother.
425
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:11,973
I have no grandma either.
426
00:14:12,109 --> 00:14:14,175
- Wha--
[scoffs]
427
00:14:14,177 --> 00:14:16,712
- Do a cow.
- Moo!
428
00:14:16,846 --> 00:14:18,846
[laughter]
429
00:14:18,848 --> 00:14:21,048
- Do a frog.
- Ribbit! Ribbit!
430
00:14:21,050 --> 00:14:22,317
- Oh, a gorilla, a gorilla!
Do a gorilla!
431
00:14:22,452 --> 00:14:24,519
- Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh!
432
00:14:24,654 --> 00:14:26,387
[laughter]
433
00:14:26,389 --> 00:14:29,358
- [coughing]
434
00:14:31,461 --> 00:14:32,794
Hey, Chief, we still going
435
00:14:32,796 --> 00:14:34,329
furniture shopping together
this weekend?
436
00:14:34,464 --> 00:14:37,865
- Uh, my weekend's starting
to fill up a little bit.
437
00:14:37,867 --> 00:14:40,868
I got some things with
your sisters I've gotta do...
438
00:14:40,870 --> 00:14:42,203
- What?
We made plans.
439
00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:43,605
And I thought we could go
do karaoke afterwards.
440
00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:45,607
- Is your voice getting lower?
441
00:14:45,742 --> 00:14:47,875
- Yeah, I told you it was gonna
get worse before it got better.
442
00:14:48,011 --> 00:14:50,745
[grunting, coughing]
443
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,213
- You hear that?
I just...
444
00:14:52,215 --> 00:14:53,481
I think I just heard
445
00:14:53,483 --> 00:14:55,216
some pizza rolls
in the microwave.
446
00:14:55,218 --> 00:14:56,818
The one in my office.
447
00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:58,620
Uh, I'm just gonna...
448
00:14:58,755 --> 00:15:00,622
I'm gonna grab them.
449
00:15:00,757 --> 00:15:02,557
I'll be right back.
450
00:15:02,692 --> 00:15:04,091
- We have pizza rolls?
451
00:15:04,093 --> 00:15:05,627
Hey, Chief, bring some back!
452
00:15:05,629 --> 00:15:06,828
♪ ♪
453
00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:08,496
- Terry, Terry,
Terry, Terry.
454
00:15:08,498 --> 00:15:10,832
Hang on.
455
00:15:10,834 --> 00:15:12,300
I'd love it
if you'd share today.
456
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:14,035
- Why?
I wasn't even at the accident.
457
00:15:14,037 --> 00:15:15,503
- The accident involved
your daughter.
458
00:15:15,505 --> 00:15:18,105
- I'm fine, Eddie.
- I know. I know.
459
00:15:18,107 --> 00:15:19,975
Sometimes there's things
hiding inside
460
00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:21,242
that we don't know about
461
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:22,577
that come out
when we talk about them.
462
00:15:22,712 --> 00:15:24,111
- You want me to share
right now?
463
00:15:24,113 --> 00:15:25,046
Is that what you want?
Huh?
464
00:15:25,182 --> 00:15:27,315
Okay.
[mocks crying]
465
00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:29,184
I can't believe you haven't
ordered the tetherball pole!
466
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,519
[mocks crying]
Is that what you want?
467
00:15:31,655 --> 00:15:34,389
For me to cry?
- Terry, please.
468
00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:35,590
I've seen you cry
a million times.
469
00:15:35,725 --> 00:15:36,858
- Bullshit!
470
00:15:36,860 --> 00:15:38,059
- You cried when
Ichiro retired.
471
00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:39,727
- Prove it.
- I have it on video.
472
00:15:39,729 --> 00:15:40,728
- You're lucky I'm even
473
00:15:40,864 --> 00:15:42,330
sitting in on those sessions.
474
00:15:42,332 --> 00:15:44,332
Why don't you go use
your Oprah routine with Andy?
475
00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:46,134
Focus on people
with real problems,
476
00:15:46,269 --> 00:15:47,469
'cause I don't have any.
477
00:15:47,604 --> 00:15:49,004
♪ ♪
478
00:15:49,139 --> 00:15:50,738
- Okay.
479
00:15:50,874 --> 00:15:52,007
♪ ♪
480
00:15:52,142 --> 00:15:53,608
Okay, gang,
481
00:15:53,743 --> 00:15:55,476
we're gonna try something
a little different today.
482
00:15:55,478 --> 00:15:56,744
We're gonna do
some roleplaying.
483
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,413
- Ooh.
- Kinky.
484
00:15:58,548 --> 00:16:01,016
- And I brought some
special guests.
485
00:16:01,150 --> 00:16:03,951
Ladies, come on in.
486
00:16:03,953 --> 00:16:05,753
- Whoa.
Super kinky.
487
00:16:05,889 --> 00:16:07,022
- Hey, what is this?
488
00:16:07,157 --> 00:16:09,090
- Don't worry.
You don't have to do anything.
489
00:16:09,092 --> 00:16:10,492
I just want you to watch, okay?
490
00:16:10,494 --> 00:16:12,027
Come on.
Guys, come on up here.
491
00:16:12,162 --> 00:16:13,462
Ladies, go have a seat.
492
00:16:14,832 --> 00:16:16,498
Okay, Ikie.
- Yeah.
493
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,633
- You are gonna play Kailani.
- Oh, cool!
494
00:16:18,768 --> 00:16:19,701
[mimics guns shooting]
495
00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:22,637
- Granny,
you're gonna play grandma.
496
00:16:22,772 --> 00:16:24,239
- It is such an honor.
497
00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:25,973
- Andy,
you're gonna be you, okay?
498
00:16:26,109 --> 00:16:27,442
Now you can say
what you want to say.
499
00:16:27,577 --> 00:16:30,578
- Uh, should we do the accents,
or is that problematic?
500
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:31,979
- Your choice.
501
00:16:32,115 --> 00:16:33,314
- We weren't sure.
502
00:16:33,316 --> 00:16:35,316
- I don't think
this is gonna end well.
503
00:16:35,318 --> 00:16:37,185
- You've hurt me
on so many levels.
504
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,521
One, that you've kept it
from me.
505
00:16:39,523 --> 00:16:42,190
And two, that we can't
even talk about it.
506
00:16:42,992 --> 00:16:44,860
- [Jamaican accent]
Don't worry about it, brah!
507
00:16:44,994 --> 00:16:47,328
What's your favorite
wax technique?
508
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:49,197
- [Jamaican accent]
Up and down, side to side.
509
00:16:49,332 --> 00:16:50,798
It don't matter.
- Wrong.
510
00:16:50,934 --> 00:16:53,935
You apply the wax in
the direction the hair grows,
511
00:16:53,937 --> 00:16:55,070
then you pull bottom to top.
512
00:16:55,205 --> 00:16:56,404
Get it right!
- Okay.
513
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,005
- Keep going.
Keep going.
514
00:16:58,007 --> 00:17:00,475
- I feel like I've missed out
on having a real relationship
515
00:17:00,610 --> 00:17:01,809
with you, Mom.
516
00:17:01,811 --> 00:17:03,411
- Stuff it down, man!
517
00:17:03,547 --> 00:17:05,480
Push it down, Ka'ponko!
518
00:17:05,615 --> 00:17:07,215
Me never chat with you
about this!
519
00:17:07,350 --> 00:17:09,617
- That's a terrible
Hawaiian accent.
520
00:17:09,619 --> 00:17:11,352
- You sound Jamaican,
you racist.
521
00:17:11,354 --> 00:17:13,488
- Wait, whoa!
I'm not racist!
522
00:17:13,623 --> 00:17:15,623
- Says you!
- I am not racist.
523
00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:17,225
- Guys, stand closer.
Where you going?
524
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:18,826
- Keep going.
Keep going.
525
00:17:18,828 --> 00:17:19,895
- I'm not racist.
526
00:17:20,029 --> 00:17:21,563
- Why can't we talk about this?
527
00:17:21,565 --> 00:17:22,764
We're family.
528
00:17:22,766 --> 00:17:25,967
- No time to talk.
Have to wax a sensitive area.
529
00:17:25,969 --> 00:17:27,102
- [Irish accent]
That's right.
530
00:17:27,237 --> 00:17:28,436
And I've got to wax
531
00:17:28,572 --> 00:17:31,038
a little soul patch
into me customer.
532
00:17:31,174 --> 00:17:32,173
- Enough, okay?
533
00:17:32,309 --> 00:17:33,709
I did not close down shop
534
00:17:33,843 --> 00:17:35,042
during lunch rush
535
00:17:35,044 --> 00:17:36,844
to watch amateur improv.
536
00:17:36,980 --> 00:17:38,613
Let's go, Kailani.
537
00:17:40,049 --> 00:17:42,284
- Wait. M--
538
00:17:43,653 --> 00:17:44,986
- You okay, buddy?
539
00:17:44,988 --> 00:17:48,456
- Actually, I feel fantastic.
540
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:51,159
Like it or not,
they heard what I had to say.
541
00:17:51,995 --> 00:17:53,929
- Awesome.
- Okay.
542
00:17:54,063 --> 00:17:55,130
Chief and Lucy, your turn.
543
00:17:55,265 --> 00:17:57,465
- Sweet!
- Uh, no thanks.
544
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,066
- It really hurts me
that you can't stand
545
00:17:59,068 --> 00:18:00,736
the sound of my voice.
- What are you talking about?
546
00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:02,537
I love your voice; you sound
like the guy who used to host
547
00:18:02,672 --> 00:18:04,139
Soul Train--Granny,
what was that guy's name?
548
00:18:04,274 --> 00:18:06,408
- Why would I know the name of
the guy who hosted Soul Train?
549
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,276
- Oh! [chuckles]
Right.
550
00:18:08,278 --> 00:18:10,145
- Oh, it's 'cause
I dream about trains?
551
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,948
- That's it.
You're the train guy.
552
00:18:13,082 --> 00:18:14,149
- Let's switch it up.
553
00:18:14,284 --> 00:18:16,284
Lucy, you be Chief.
Chief, you be Lucy.
554
00:18:16,419 --> 00:18:18,353
Lucy, start it off.
555
00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:21,022
- Okay, um...
556
00:18:21,691 --> 00:18:24,159
Don't interrupt!
I know everything!
557
00:18:24,294 --> 00:18:25,427
I'm the chief,
and I'm your dad!
558
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:26,894
And the answer is no!
559
00:18:26,896 --> 00:18:28,496
No, no, no, no, no!
560
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,031
- Oh, that's your
imitation of me?
561
00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,299
That's it, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
562
00:18:31,434 --> 00:18:32,500
- I can play this game too.
563
00:18:32,636 --> 00:18:34,302
I can do this.
All right.
564
00:18:34,304 --> 00:18:35,971
Hey, my name's Lucy,
565
00:18:36,106 --> 00:18:37,572
and I'm the reckless probie
566
00:18:37,707 --> 00:18:39,641
who doesn't care how our
actions affect other people!
567
00:18:39,776 --> 00:18:43,044
Maybe I should find
a safer job like accounting!
568
00:18:43,981 --> 00:18:46,848
- That was awesome.
- Yeah, good impression, Chief.
569
00:18:46,984 --> 00:18:48,583
[buzzer blares]
dispatcher: Station 24.
570
00:18:48,718 --> 00:18:51,586
Man on a ledge. 1113 Harrison Avenue.
571
00:18:51,721 --> 00:18:53,188
- All right, this is bullshit.
572
00:18:53,323 --> 00:18:54,656
Do you even know
what you're doing?
573
00:18:54,658 --> 00:18:56,792
- Yes, I do.
- Then what does Andy's mom
574
00:18:56,926 --> 00:18:58,460
and sister have to do with
Lucy's accident?
575
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:00,796
- Lucy's accident
is what made Andy's
576
00:19:00,930 --> 00:19:02,530
mom and grandma
tell him the truth.
577
00:19:02,666 --> 00:19:04,532
- All right, you know what?
We're done with this.
578
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,001
- No, we're done
when I say we're done.
579
00:19:06,135 --> 00:19:07,202
- No, we're done now!
580
00:19:07,337 --> 00:19:09,004
- No, we're done
when I say we're done.
581
00:19:09,138 --> 00:19:10,738
- Where are you going?
- I'm going on a call.
582
00:19:10,874 --> 00:19:12,340
- Well, so am I!
- Oh, you're coming?
583
00:19:12,342 --> 00:19:13,709
- Yeah, I'm coming!
- About time!
584
00:19:18,014 --> 00:19:19,281
- Just leave me alone, please!
585
00:19:19,416 --> 00:19:22,016
Can you please
let a man die in peace?
586
00:19:22,152 --> 00:19:24,686
Leave me alone!
I'm gonna jump!
587
00:19:24,821 --> 00:19:26,488
I'm gonna do it!
I swear!
588
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:30,158
Go away!
Leave me alone, okay?
589
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,426
- Car one on the scene.
Car one in command.
590
00:19:32,428 --> 00:19:35,830
- Go away!
Leave me alone, okay?
591
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:37,632
Get out of here!
592
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:38,633
Go away!
593
00:19:40,104 --> 00:19:43,105
- Hey, folks,
I need you to step back!
594
00:19:43,239 --> 00:19:45,707
- [sighs]
- Leave me alone!
595
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:48,310
[indistinct shouting]
- Who's going up there?
596
00:19:48,445 --> 00:19:50,645
- I am, obviously.
I'm the most qualified.
597
00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:51,846
- Hold on a second.
598
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,247
I've talked to a few
jumpers in my day.
599
00:19:53,249 --> 00:19:55,117
- Okay, so you go.
- You want me to?
600
00:19:55,251 --> 00:19:56,918
- Yeah, if you're so good
at it, you go.
601
00:19:57,053 --> 00:19:58,320
- Fine.
I will go.
602
00:19:58,454 --> 00:20:00,254
- Okay, stop chattering
and start laddering.
603
00:20:00,390 --> 00:20:02,056
- I'm in charge here!
- Good.
604
00:20:02,192 --> 00:20:03,525
- Stop looking at me!
- Be safe, Chief.
605
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,127
- Stop telling me what to do.
606
00:20:05,261 --> 00:20:07,996
[suspenseful music]
607
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:10,532
- Get off of that thing, man!
608
00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:12,667
♪ ♪
609
00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:13,735
Stay away, man!
610
00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:15,603
I'm not kidding!
Back off, man!
611
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,207
Stay away, man!
I'm gonna jump!
612
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,876
- I just wanna talk.
- Okay, well, I don't!
613
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,545
I wanna be alone.
- I get it.
614
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,147
I'm the strong, silent type
too.
615
00:20:25,281 --> 00:20:27,015
- Oh, yeah?
Like Ryan Gosling?
616
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,482
- I don't know who that is.
- What?
617
00:20:28,484 --> 00:20:30,284
It's America's handsome boy,
man!
618
00:20:30,286 --> 00:20:32,286
Come on. "La La Land"?
- Never heard of it.
619
00:20:32,422 --> 00:20:33,822
- You never heard of
"La La Land"?
620
00:20:33,957 --> 00:20:35,757
What about "The Notebook"?
- You're losing me now.
621
00:20:35,892 --> 00:20:37,492
- It's a masterpiece, sir!
622
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,361
- I'm more of a Stallone guy.
- Who?
623
00:20:39,496 --> 00:20:41,163
- How do you not know
who Stallone is?
624
00:20:41,297 --> 00:20:43,165
- How do you not know
who Ryan Gosling is?
625
00:20:43,299 --> 00:20:44,632
- I feel like we're
not connecting here.
626
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:46,835
- No, we're not, okay?
Just go away, please!
627
00:20:46,970 --> 00:20:48,302
You're pissing me off, man!
628
00:20:48,304 --> 00:20:49,437
- Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey!
629
00:20:49,573 --> 00:20:50,638
You married?
630
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,974
- My wife ran off
with my business partner
631
00:20:53,109 --> 00:20:54,509
after embezzling
a million dollars
632
00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:56,444
from my frozen yogurt
franchise.
633
00:20:56,580 --> 00:20:58,112
Hence the roof!
634
00:20:58,114 --> 00:20:59,514
- Okay.
635
00:20:59,649 --> 00:21:01,916
I like frozen yogurt
more than I thought I would.
636
00:21:01,918 --> 00:21:03,185
- Cool!
637
00:21:03,319 --> 00:21:05,053
- [sighs]
You got kids?
638
00:21:05,189 --> 00:21:07,455
- I got three boys.
- Hey, I got three girls.
639
00:21:07,591 --> 00:21:09,191
- You know,
they say boys are made
640
00:21:09,325 --> 00:21:11,726
when the wife has an orgasm
during conception, so...
641
00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:12,994
- People have told me that.
It's not true.
642
00:21:13,129 --> 00:21:14,396
- It's true.
- It's not true.
643
00:21:14,531 --> 00:21:15,730
- Google it!
- There's no evidence.
644
00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:17,265
- You could Bing it too.
Same results.
645
00:21:17,267 --> 00:21:18,400
- There's no proof
of that fact.
646
00:21:18,535 --> 00:21:20,134
- I proved it three times.
647
00:21:20,270 --> 00:21:21,936
- All right, regardless,
okay, we both got kids.
648
00:21:21,938 --> 00:21:24,072
Matter of fact, that's
my oldest right down there.
649
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,407
The firefighter on the end.
650
00:21:25,542 --> 00:21:27,075
- You ever worried
she'll get hurt on the job?
651
00:21:27,211 --> 00:21:28,543
- Every day.
652
00:21:28,678 --> 00:21:30,478
Matter of fact, she just
got hit in the throat.
653
00:21:30,614 --> 00:21:32,814
Now she sounds like
an old timey jazz singer.
654
00:21:32,949 --> 00:21:35,950
- Hey, I need you guys
back behind the car!
655
00:21:35,952 --> 00:21:37,219
- Wow.
Like Morgan Freeman.
656
00:21:37,353 --> 00:21:39,221
- Just every time I hear it,
it reminds me that
657
00:21:39,355 --> 00:21:40,488
if she hadn't followed
in my footsteps,
658
00:21:40,490 --> 00:21:41,823
she wouldn't be in harm's way.
659
00:21:41,958 --> 00:21:43,558
- Hey, we can't protect
our kids forever, man.
660
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,294
- I just don't wanna
feel afraid and guilty
661
00:21:46,296 --> 00:21:48,496
for as long
as she's a firefighter.
662
00:21:48,498 --> 00:21:49,964
- We all feel that way
about our kids.
663
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,433
It's normal.
664
00:21:51,568 --> 00:21:54,168
You should talk to somebody
about it before you end up,
665
00:21:54,170 --> 00:21:56,238
you know, taking a dive
off of a Bordstrom.
666
00:21:56,372 --> 00:21:59,173
- You sound like Eddie.
- Eddie sounds woke AF.
667
00:21:59,309 --> 00:22:00,575
- I'm not gonna tell him that.
668
00:22:00,710 --> 00:22:02,110
- Gosh, your depression
is making me feel better
669
00:22:02,246 --> 00:22:04,712
about my problems.
[chuckles]
670
00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:06,514
Who would've thought that?
[laughs]
671
00:22:06,516 --> 00:22:07,916
I was just about to jump off
a building.
672
00:22:08,051 --> 00:22:10,384
Now I'm laughing.
[laughing]
673
00:22:10,386 --> 00:22:12,120
Thank you, man.
Hey, can I get a hug?
674
00:22:12,256 --> 00:22:13,121
- I don't think
that's a good idea.
675
00:22:13,257 --> 00:22:14,388
- Come on, man.
Please?
676
00:22:14,524 --> 00:22:15,523
- Let me just
get you down safely.
677
00:22:15,659 --> 00:22:17,259
- I feel like
we connected there.
678
00:22:17,393 --> 00:22:19,193
Come on! Bring it in!
- Just hold on. Let's not...
679
00:22:19,329 --> 00:22:20,929
- Get in here. I need it, man.
- No, don't--
680
00:22:20,931 --> 00:22:23,998
- Hey, hey!
- [yells]
681
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,701
[overlapping shouts]
682
00:22:27,804 --> 00:22:29,037
all: Oh!
683
00:22:29,873 --> 00:22:32,874
- Whoo!
Whee!
684
00:22:33,009 --> 00:22:34,476
That was amazing!
685
00:22:34,611 --> 00:22:37,279
Hey, your team really knows
how to talk a guy down.
686
00:22:37,413 --> 00:22:39,747
Free yogurt for everybody!
687
00:22:39,749 --> 00:22:42,284
- [sighs]
Oh, oh!
688
00:22:42,418 --> 00:22:44,018
I'm sorry.
689
00:22:44,020 --> 00:22:45,419
I love you.
I was wrong.
690
00:22:45,421 --> 00:22:48,290
And I love your voice.
- Thanks, Dad.
691
00:22:48,424 --> 00:22:50,558
- Chief, you forgot
to secure your safety belt.
692
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,360
- Yeah, well, too bad.
We're having a moment here.
693
00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:54,429
- But we're gonna have
a safety belt refresher course.
694
00:22:54,564 --> 00:22:55,630
- We'll talk about it later.
- Okay.
695
00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:57,231
- My daughter.
- By the way,
696
00:22:57,233 --> 00:22:58,633
you got 10s across the board
for your dive.
697
00:22:58,768 --> 00:23:00,168
- Thank you!
698
00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:02,103
- Ka'ponko!
Oh, my goodness!
699
00:23:02,238 --> 00:23:04,038
Thank God you're okay!
700
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,841
- Hey, hey!
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay!
701
00:23:06,843 --> 00:23:08,176
Hey!
I'm okay!
702
00:23:08,312 --> 00:23:09,577
- The Nextdoor app
said there was a guy
703
00:23:09,579 --> 00:23:11,245
who was gonna jump off
a building.
704
00:23:11,381 --> 00:23:13,448
We figured it was you because
you're such an emotional mess!
705
00:23:13,583 --> 00:23:15,117
- I have every right
to be a mess.
706
00:23:15,251 --> 00:23:16,785
- I know.
- You do?
707
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:19,721
- Yeah, I was talking
to my 2:00 about it,
708
00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:21,790
and she told me I was being
a crazy person.
709
00:23:21,925 --> 00:23:24,258
She was right.
I was wrong, all right?
710
00:23:24,394 --> 00:23:26,461
We can work through this
together!
711
00:23:26,596 --> 00:23:28,530
Aww!
712
00:23:29,333 --> 00:23:31,700
- Oh, hi, Andy's mom.
Hi, Andy's grandma.
713
00:23:33,003 --> 00:23:34,202
- Is Ike still single?
714
00:23:34,338 --> 00:23:35,937
- I think so.
- Sweet.
715
00:23:36,072 --> 00:23:38,640
I could hit that.
- Eww.
716
00:23:40,944 --> 00:23:45,013
[soft R&B music]
717
00:23:45,148 --> 00:23:48,082
- ♪ I wanna tell you, baby ♪
718
00:23:48,084 --> 00:23:51,152
♪ What you meant to me ♪
719
00:23:51,288 --> 00:23:53,688
♪ All those good times
we shared ♪
720
00:23:53,690 --> 00:23:57,425
♪ ♪
721
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,895
♪ All the love
that we have for each other ♪
722
00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:02,297
♪ ♪
723
00:24:02,299 --> 00:24:03,432
- Okay.
Come on, Luce.
724
00:24:03,566 --> 00:24:05,166
Rubber match!
Let's go!
725
00:24:05,168 --> 00:24:06,901
- [sighs, regular voice]
Man.
726
00:24:06,903 --> 00:24:08,503
I really miss my old voice.
727
00:24:08,505 --> 00:24:10,038
I was the talk
of the karaoke circuit.
728
00:24:10,173 --> 00:24:13,842
[suspenseful music]
729
00:24:13,977 --> 00:24:15,711
- [yells]
730
00:24:16,847 --> 00:24:18,913
[voice deepens]
731
00:24:18,915 --> 00:24:20,181
- You okay?
732
00:24:20,183 --> 00:24:21,782
- [deep voice]
Chief.
733
00:24:21,784 --> 00:24:23,852
You are my father!
734
00:24:23,987 --> 00:24:25,720
[laughter]
735
00:24:25,722 --> 00:24:27,122
- That's awesome.
736
00:24:28,525 --> 00:24:30,659
- It's funny
'cause it's true.
56296
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