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1
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:10,880
- LIFE--IT'S LITERALLY
ALL WE HAVE.
2
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:12,251
BUT IS IT ANY GOOD?
3
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,710
I'M A REVIEWER,
BUT I DON'T REVIEW
4
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,917
FOOD, BOOKS, OR MOVIES.
5
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,989
I REVIEW LIFE ITSELF.
6
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,918
VIVA THE REVOLUTION!
7
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:23,193
[crowd cheering]
8
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,434
[Taser crackling]
AGH!
9
00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:28,429
[triumphant fanfare]
10
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:32,332
*
11
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,696
WELCOME TO REVIEW.
I'M FORREST MACNEIL.
12
00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,995
WITH ME AS ALWAYS IS A.J. GIBBS.
13
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,267
HI, A.J.
- HI, FORREST.
14
00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:39,266
- OKAY, WHAT'S MY NEXT REVIEW?
15
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:40,867
- OKAY.
[tablet whirs]
16
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:43,738
THIS COMES FROM CLARK
AT TOPCO INDUSTRIES.
17
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,447
- I'VE WORKED AT MY JOB FOR NINE
YEARS, BUT I HATE MY NEW BOSS.
18
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,180
I JUST WANT TO QUIT
IN HIS BIG, FAT, STUPID FACE.
19
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,617
WHAT WOULD THAT FEEL LIKE?
20
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:55,422
ALSO, BLUR THIS
IF YOU USE MY QUESTION.
21
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,086
- AHA.
CLARK, YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW
22
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:59,725
WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO QUIT A JOB
IN A BLAZE OF GLORY,
23
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,160
AND THAT IS JUST WHAT I WILL DO.
HERE I GO.
24
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:06,367
I BEGAN MY EXPERIENCE
BY WRITING THE MOST EPIC
25
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,840
TAKE-THIS-JOB-AND-SHOVE-IT
SPEECH I COULD IMAGINE.
26
00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,369
THIS IS SO HARD.
27
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,674
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A BOSS
THAT YOU HATE, YOU KNOW?
28
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,477
- YOU'RE THE BIGGEST JAG-OFF
I'VE EVER WORKED FOR,
29
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,150
YOU NICKEL-AND-DIME
CHICKEN[bleep],
30
00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:22,017
AND I HOPE THIS PLACE BURNS
TO THE GROUND WITH YOU IN IT.
31
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,449
- [whispering]
THAT'S GREAT.
32
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,224
[normal voice]
I WAS NOW READY TO DELIVER
33
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,393
MY BITTER FAREWELL.
[clears throat]
34
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,291
- YOU REALIZE THAT IF YOU QUIT
YOUR JOB AT REVIEW,
35
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,863
THAT MEANS YOU'LL NO LONGER
BE ABLE TO ISSUE
36
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,991
A REVIEW
FOR QUITTING YOUR JOB.
37
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:36,962
- RIGHT.
GRANT WAS RIGHT.
38
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:39,497
WITH A BIT OF HELP
FROM OUR H.R. DEPARTMENT,
39
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,043
I WENT TO A LOCAL BUSINESS
AND TOOK A CUSTOMER-SERVICE JOB
40
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:45,869
IN ORDER TO QUIT IT.
- ALL RIGHT.
41
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:48,306
- HEY, FORREST.
[chuckles]
42
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:52,482
JUST A LITTLE GIFT
TO SAY WELCOME ABOARD.
43
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,423
HOW'S YOUR FIRST DAY GOING?
44
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:58,048
- YOU KNOW, RON,
WHEN I STARTED HERE,
45
00:01:58,085 --> 00:02:00,885
I BELIEVED
IN WHAT WE WERE DOING.
46
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:03,791
BUT NOW I'M NOT SO SURE.
47
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:07,304
BUT THERE IS ONE THING I KNOW.
48
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:11,968
YOU'RE THE BIGGEST JAG-OFF
I'VE EVER WORKED FOR,
49
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:16,439
AND I HOPE THIS PLACE BURNS
TO THE GROUND WITH YOU IN IT
50
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,570
BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT YOU DESERVE,
51
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:24,576
YOU NICKEL-AND-DIME
CHICKEN[bleep] MOTHER[bleep]!
52
00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:27,482
YOU CALL YOURSELF A MANAGER?
53
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:30,745
YOU COULDN'T MANAGE
A HAM SANDWICH!
54
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,924
[object clatters]
55
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:36,763
I AM WALKING OUT THAT DOOR...
56
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,230
AND I WON'T COME BACK,
57
00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:43,227
NOT EVEN IF YOU BEG ME.
58
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:45,801
WHO'S WITH ME?
59
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:58,254
WELL, I HAD A JOB, AND I QUIT IT
WITH A FANTASTIC SPEECH,
60
00:02:58,246 --> 00:03:01,046
BUT SOMETHING WASN'T TAKING HOLD
FOR THIS REVIEW.
61
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,721
IT WASN'T MY REAL JOB.
62
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,390
AT NO POINT DID
I EVEN UNDERSTAND
63
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,288
WHAT WORK WAS EXPECTED OF ME.
64
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,390
SO I TOOK THE NEXT JOB
I FOUND--
65
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:11,262
SERVING COFFEE IN THE LOBBY
OF AN OFFICE BUILDING,
66
00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:15,799
THE KIND OF JOB ANYONE COULD
MASTER AND DESPISE IN NO TIME.
67
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,369
MORNING.
68
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:20,098
MY BOSS WAS AN INCREDIBLY
OLD MAN NAMED WILLY,
69
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:23,273
WITH A STRUGGLING BUSINESS
AND A LONG LIST OF INFIRMITIES.
70
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,274
- I WASN'T REALLY LOOKING
TO HIRE SOMEONE.
71
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:28,076
NOT EVEN SURE
I COULD AFFORD TO, HONESTLY.
72
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,878
I JUST CAN'T TAKE STANDING
ALL DAY.
73
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,710
- AND MY CO-WORKER WAS WENDELL,
WHO WAS DEDICATED,
74
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:36,076
METICULOUSLY ORGANIZED,
AND, INCIDENTALLY, AUTISTIC.
75
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:39,286
HE LIKES TO MAKE SURE THE SPOONS
ARE ALL FACING THE SAME WAY.
76
00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,587
- OH, YEAH, HE'S GOOD
ON INVENTORY.
77
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:44,962
- YEAH.
- THERE'S 47 NAPKINS, 58 CUPS.
78
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,732
THERE WERE 59, BUT PAM
FROM THE THIRD FLOOR HAD DECAF.
79
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:50,561
- WORKING ALONGSIDE WILLY
AND WENDELL BEGAN TO MAKE ME
80
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,298
FEEL LIKE I WAS PART
OF A FAMILY AGAIN.
81
00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:54,841
THEY INSPIRED ME
TO MAKE THIS BUSINESS
82
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,638
AS SUCCESSFUL AS IT COULD BE.
83
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,310
YOU KNOW, WILLY, THERE'S
NO REASON THIS COULDN'T BE
84
00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:00,466
A LOT MORE PROFITABLE.
85
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:01,978
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
86
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,749
- ONE, TWO, THREE.
87
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:07,418
OPEN YOUR EYES!
88
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,378
WELCOME TO LOBBY JAVA.
89
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:12,147
I HAD TAKEN THE LIBERTY
OF BRINGING WILLY'S COFFEE CART
90
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,545
INTO THE MODERN AGE,
91
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,717
COMPLETE WITH FAIR-TRADE,
ORGANIC COFFEE
92
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,186
AND GOURMET PASTRIES,
93
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,234
AS WELL AS THE EXORBITANT
PRICE MARKUPS
94
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,857
THAT GO ALONG WITH THEM.
95
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,004
WENDELL, YOU SEEM OVERWHELMED.
- IT'S FINE.
96
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,600
- BUT THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED
YOU TO FOCUS ON RIGHT NOW.
97
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,532
I NEED TO KNOW HOW MANY PASTRIES
ARE IN THIS CASE.
98
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,437
CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME?
- SURE.
99
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:32,339
- IN NO TIME AT ALL, WILLY'S WAS
TRANSFORMED INTO A SENSATION.
100
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:35,713
THE BUZZ SPREAD QUICKER
THAN THE SMILE ACROSS MY FACE
101
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:37,513
WHEN I ARRIVED TO WORK
EACH MORNING.
102
00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:38,745
HOW MANY CAPPUCCINOS
CAN I GET FOR YOU?
103
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,749
- JUST THE ONE, PLEASE.
- [laughs] OKAY.
104
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,451
$3.50.
THANK YOU.
105
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:45,693
THERE WERE NO TWO WAYS
ABOUT IT--I LOVED MY JOB,
106
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,419
TO THE POINT
WHERE I BEGAN TO FORGET
107
00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:49,355
THAT IT WASN'T MY REAL JOB.
108
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,464
[knocks on counter]
- EXCUSE ME.
109
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,433
- OH, WE'RE NOT OPEN YET, SIR--
OH, GRANT.
110
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:56,463
HI.
- HEY.
111
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:57,767
DO YOU HAVE A SECOND TO TALK?
112
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:58,968
- UH...
- JUST FOR A SEC?
113
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,369
- YES.
- YEAH.
114
00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,098
- HOW'S THE SHOW GOING?
- WELL...
115
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,865
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
116
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,774
'CAUSE WE'RE WAITING FOR YOU
TO QUIT THIS JOB.
117
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,776
- OH, YEAH.
118
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,508
QUIT THIS JOB?
119
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,183
- THAT'S WHY YOU TOOK THIS JOB
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
120
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,151
- I WAS THINKING OF--
MAYBE I WOULD CUT DOWN MY HOURS
121
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,520
ONCE I GET THINGS UP TO SPEED,
122
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:15,878
'CAUSE I HAVE
A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT--
123
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,276
- WELL,
YOU'RE REVIEWING QUITTING.
124
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:18,845
VIEWERS NEED THIS.
- YEAH.
125
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:21,716
- AMERICA NEEDS THIS,
AND THE WORLD NEEDS THIS.
126
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,655
- SIX MINUTES UNTIL THE PASTRIES
ARRIVE, MR. FORREST.
127
00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:25,391
- DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER
OR WHAT?
128
00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,403
- [sighs]
129
00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:31,155
- FORREST, GET OUT HERE.
I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
130
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:37,910
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
"LOBBY JAVA BY FORREST."
131
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:40,408
- UH, WILLY...
132
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:46,405
I'M REALLY SORRY. UH...
[clears throat]
133
00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:49,084
YOU KNOW,
WHEN I FIRST STARTED HERE,
134
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:52,986
I BELIEVED IN WHAT
WE WERE DOING.
135
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,560
NOW I'M NOT SO SURE.
136
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,159
- WHAT?
137
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:01,460
- BUT THERE IS, UH,
ONE THING I KNOW.
138
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:04,625
YOU'RE THE BIGGEST JAG-OFF
I'VE EVER WORKED FOR.
139
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,225
- FORREST...
- AND I HOPE THIS PLACE--
140
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,436
UGH--
141
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:11,609
BURNS TO THE GROUND
WITH YOU IN IT,
142
00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:16,479
BECAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT YOU DESERVE,
143
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:21,850
YOU NICKEL-AND-DIME
CHICKEN[bleep] MOTHER[bleep].
144
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:25,022
OH, BOY.
145
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:28,462
YOU CALL YOURSELF A MANAGER?
146
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:32,459
YOU COULDN'T MANAGE
A HAM SANDWICH!
147
00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:36,030
[clears throat]
OKAY, I AM LEAVING HERE,
148
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,603
AND I AM NEVER COMING BACK,
149
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:42,873
NOT IF YOU BEG ME!
150
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,143
WHO'S WITH ME?
151
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:50,707
- I AM!
- OH.
152
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,014
- IF MR. FORREST GOES, I GO!
153
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,716
- OH, GOD.
154
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,820
- YOU COULDN'T MANAGE
A HAM SANDWICH!
155
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:07,764
[screams]
156
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:10,125
- SINCE WE SPEND SO MUCH TIME
AT OUR JOBS,
157
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,503
OUR CO-WORKERS CAN BECOME
LIKE A SECOND FAMILY,
158
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:15,240
AND OUR WORKPLACE
LIKE A SECOND HOME.
159
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,798
AS EXHILARATING
A RUSH AS IT IS
160
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,107
TO TELL OFF
AN AUTHORITY FIGURE,
161
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,808
WHEN YOU QUIT YOUR JOB,
162
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,510
YOU'RE LEAVING BEHIND MUCH MORE
THAN JUST A PAYCHECK.
163
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:25,910
QUITTING YOUR JOB--
TWO STARS.
164
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:32,949
[triumphant fanfare]
165
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,516
- ALL RIGHT, A.J., WHAT LIFE
EXPERIENCE SHALL I REVIEW NEXT?
166
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:36,893
- OKAY.
[tablet whirs]
167
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:40,064
AN EMAIL FROM GLORIA
IN NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE.
168
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,103
SHE SAYS...
169
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,137
- WOW.
170
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,538
THAT'S A GREAT ONE
AND A PROFOUND ONE.
171
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,571
- I KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO
IF IT WAS MY LAST DAY ON EARTH.
172
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,776
- YEAH?
- I WOULD ADOPT A BABY.
173
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,547
- YEAH, WELL, YOU--
174
00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:00,146
YOU MIGHT WANT TO GIVE THAT
A LITTLE MORE THOUGHT.
175
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,080
BUT I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I WOULD DO AT ALL
176
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,375
ON MY LAST DAY.
177
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,616
I GUESS I'M GOING
TO FIND OUT.
178
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,563
TO LIVE THIS DAY
AS IF IT WERE MY LAST
179
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:10,058
REQUIRED A SENSE
OF RECKLESS ABANDON.
180
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,120
[tattoo needle buzzing]
OH, [bleep]!
181
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,828
OH, MOTHER[bleep]!
OH, GOD!
182
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,961
I DECIDED TO HAVE "CARPE DIEM,"
183
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,996
LATIN FOR "SEIZE THE DAY,"
TATTOOED ON MY BODY.
184
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:22,102
[bleep] THIS!
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
185
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,235
- WELL, I STILL GOT
TO CHARGE YOU
186
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:24,670
FOR THE LETTERS I PUT ON YOU.
187
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:27,065
- I WOULD NOT GET
THE FULL CARPE DIEM,
188
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,237
BUT I WOULD GET...
189
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:30,335
CA.
190
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,577
CA, YEAH.
191
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:33,750
CA!
[laughs]
192
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:37,021
I'M REALLY LIVING!
[laughs]
193
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:41,020
HEY, BRING US
SOME MORE NACHOS, OKAY?
194
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,824
WITH EXTRA CHEESE.
OH, HELL, IT'S MY LAST DAY.
195
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,957
JUST BRING US A BOWL OF CHEESE!
196
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:47,263
[laughter]
197
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:48,834
- HEY, LET ME ASK YOU
SOMETHING.
198
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,962
IF THIS WERE
YOUR LAST DAY ON EARTH,
199
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:53,268
I MEAN, IF THERE WERE
NO REPERCUSSIONS BEYOND TODAY,
200
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,700
YOU COULD JUST GO FOR IT,
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
201
00:08:56,737 --> 00:09:00,267
- WELL, I-I-I GUESS I--
- NO, NO, NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?
202
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:03,007
DON'T TELL ME.
203
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,613
JUST DO IT.
204
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,816
- OKAY.
205
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:14,051
EXCUSE ME.
206
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,517
DOES ANYBODY WANT TO LEAVE,
207
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:18,793
GO BACK TO MY PLACE,
AND [bleep] RIGHT NOW?
208
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,073
- NO.
209
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,470
WHERE ARE YOU--
- OH, MY GOD!
210
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,771
- THAT IS FANTASTIC!
THAT'S THE THING
211
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,814
TO DO ON YOUR LAST DAY.
[laughs]
212
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,640
WELL DONE.
[laughs]
213
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,383
OH--OH, NO. OH, NO.
[laughing]
214
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,410
- HEY, EVERYBODY!
215
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,054
- WHO--WHO WANTS TO GO [bleep]
ME AND MR. MACNEIL RIGHT NOW?
216
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,394
[both laughing]
217
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,819
- YES!
[laughs]
218
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:56,130
[screaming]
219
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:57,733
OH!
220
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:58,825
UNDETERRED
BY THE LACK OF WOMEN
221
00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,796
INTERESTED IN HAVING SEX
WITH US,
222
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:04,444
JOSH AND I ENJOYED A MORE
DEPENDABLE FORM OF MACHISMO.
223
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:05,971
- COME ON, SHOOT IT!
- BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE,
224
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,136
YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG MAN!
225
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,175
- [laughs]
- COME ON!
226
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,939
[gunshot]
OH, COME ON.
227
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,748
IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG
WITH MY--THE WAY I'M STANDING?
228
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:13,810
WHAT'S GOING ON?
- YOU'RE JUST NOT HITTING IT.
229
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,117
- HOW ABOUT THIS?
230
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,678
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!
- YEAH!
231
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,087
- COME ON!
- [laughs]
232
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,188
- COME ON!
- COME ON!
233
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:24,691
- OH, YOU PISSED OFF
THE WRONG GUY!
234
00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:28,964
[bleep]!
CA!
235
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,996
- CA!
236
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,841
- OH!
[laughs]
237
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,644
- OH, COOL.
- THAT WENT A LONG WAY.
238
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:43,706
- THAT WAS GOOD.
239
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,454
- TO LIFE.
MMM.
240
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,478
- TO LIFE.
241
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:50,124
- THERE IS SO MUCH I WILL MISS.
242
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,090
NOW LET'S GO GET SOME WHORES.
243
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,086
[laughter]
- AH!
244
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:59,464
WHILE RELAPSING ON COCAINE
WITH PROSTITUTES
245
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,732
IS ONE OF THE WORST THINGS
A MAN CAN EVER DO,
246
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:05,072
REGRETTABLY ON MY LAST DAY, IT
SEEMED LIKE A REASONABLE CHOICE.
247
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,868
[siren wailing]
OH, [bleep].
248
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,170
- COPS.
249
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,541
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
- OH, OH, OH.
250
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:10,799
[screaming]
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
251
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:11,968
[screaming]
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
252
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,235
- NOBODY MOVE!
253
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,013
COME HERE! COME HERE!
COME HERE!
254
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,912
- NO, NO, NO.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY!
255
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:18,384
- GET DOWN!
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY!
256
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,351
- JOSH!
[all yelling]
257
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,050
- RUN, MR. MACNEIL,
IT'S YOUR LAST DAY!
258
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,582
- COME HERE!
259
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,316
- YOU'VE BEEN
A WONDERFUL UNPAID EMPLOYEE!
260
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,352
- THANK YOU!
I'VE LEARNED A LOT FROM YOU,
261
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,487
ABOUT MYSELF
AND ABOUT THE BUSINESS!
262
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,262
UGH! OW!
263
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,761
- THE SETBACKS AND CURVEBALLS
OF LIFE WERE NOTHING TO ME NOW.
264
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,204
CA!
265
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,928
THEY HAD NO POWER TO HURT ME
266
00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,934
BECAUSE I DIDN'T FEAR
WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO ME NEXT.
267
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,526
[siren wailing]
268
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,597
BUT AS DUSK DESCENDED UPON ME
FOR THE LAST TIME,
269
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,936
I BEGAN TO FEEL
THE INCREDIBLE SADNESS
270
00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:48,843
OF LEAVING EVERYTHING
AND EVERYONE BEHIND.
271
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:49,836
ALSO, THE COCAINE
WAS WEARING OFF.
272
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,777
[sobbing]
WHY?
273
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,780
[knocks at door]
274
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,385
- OH, MY GOD,
WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?
275
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,590
- MY CLOTHES
ARE AT A WHOREHOUSE.
276
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:03,792
- UGH.
OKAY, FORREST.
277
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:04,964
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
278
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,692
I'M HERE TO SAY GOOD-BYE
FOREVER.
279
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:07,964
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
280
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,795
- IT'S MY LAST DAY.
281
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,368
SO I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU
282
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,129
FOR EVERYTHING THAT
YOU'VE DONE FOR ME AND...
283
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,867
TO REALLY LIVE THIS DAY
AS IF IT WERE MY LAST,
284
00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:19,974
I NEEDED THE PEOPLE AROUND ME
TO BELIEVE THAT IT WAS TOO.
285
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:22,807
- WAIT.
ARE--ARE YOU SICK?
286
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:26,113
- BUT LYING SEEMED
OUT OF BOUNDS.
287
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:29,516
- OH, MY GOD.
YOU HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR.
288
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,179
I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T THINK
ABOUT THIS BEFORE.
289
00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:33,048
THIS TOTALLY MAKES SENSE.
290
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,616
ALICIA'S UNCLE HAD ONE,
AND SHE SAID
291
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,685
IT PUSHED ON PART OF HIS BRAIN.
292
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:40,634
IT MADE HIM ACT CRAZY.
293
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,160
[sighs]
294
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,525
THAT'S WHY YOU'VE BEEN SUCH
A LUNATIC.
295
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:46,674
- COCAINE IS AMAZING!
[grunts]
296
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,369
[retches, screams]
297
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:49,901
OH, GOD, I'M GONNA DIE!
298
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,197
ARR, ARR, ARR!
299
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:54,308
STINKIEST OF POOPS
THAT I'VE HAD--
300
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,111
MY CLOTHES
ARE AT A WHOREHOUSE.
301
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,417
THE HUMAN BRAIN.
- [sighs]
302
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:05,849
I AM SO SORRY.
303
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:09,163
IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU WANT TO DO?
304
00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:11,619
YOU JUST SAY THE WORD.
305
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,061
THAT'S THE DAY
WE WERE MARRIED.
306
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,126
- HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
- OH.
307
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,265
AND THIS WAS--
HOW OLD WAS HE HERE?
308
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,400
DO YOU REMEMBER?
309
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,404
- 2 1/2, I THINK.
- 2 1/2?
310
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:26,766
- WE'VE HAD SOME GOOD GAMES
OF BANANAGRAMS IN THIS FAMILY.
311
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:29,314
LIVING THIS DAY AS IF IT WERE
MY LAST WAS INCREDIBLE.
312
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,952
SUZANNE HAD TAKEN ME BACK.
313
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,349
HAD TRUE LOVE PREVAILED,
OR WAS IT JUST
314
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,881
HER MISTAKEN BELIEF
THAT I HAD A MEDICAL EXCUSE
315
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,694
FOR MONTHS OF BIZARRE BEHAVIOR
AND WOULD SOON BE DEAD?
316
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:43,259
WHATEVER IT WAS, AT LONG LAST
WE WERE HAPPY AGAIN.
317
00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:47,900
- CAN YOU DO ANYTHING,
OR DOES IT HURT TOO MUCH?
318
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:51,695
- OH.
NO, I CAN DO STUFF.
319
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,431
MM.
- MM.
320
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:56,666
[both laughing, moaning]
321
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:01,341
YOU KNOW, WE GET SO CAUGHT UP
IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY STRUGGLES
322
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:05,584
THAT WE CAN BE BLIND
TO THE REAL TREASURES OF LIFE.
323
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:10,522
LIVING EACH DAY LIKE IT'S YOUR
LAST JUST MAKES THAT IMPOSSIBLE.
324
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,790
THAT WAS THE BEST DAY
OF MY LIFE.
325
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,449
FIVE STARS.
326
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:21,128
- I CAN'T WAIT
FOR MY LAST DAY ON EARTH.
327
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:22,731
- YEAH.
IT WAS FUN.
328
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,262
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
329
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,244
- A.J., DO WE HAVE TIME
FOR ONE LAST REVIEW?
330
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,383
- LET'S GO FOR IT.
- YES.
331
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,048
- CLAP4KIM@YAHOO.COM ASKS...
332
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,419
- OH, MY GOODNESS.
333
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,685
WELL, SHE WANTS TO KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE IRISH.
334
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,593
NOT SURE HOW I'M GONNA DO THAT.
I'M ONLY HALF IRISH.
335
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,426
- IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE'S
ABOUT TO GET HAMMERED AGAIN.
336
00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:57,202
[laughs]
- UH, WELL, NOW, A.J.,
337
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,130
I THINK AN IRISH PERSON
WOULD BE VERY OFFENDED BY THAT,
338
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:00,466
BUT THEY WOULD ALSO ADMIT
339
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,140
THAT IT'S ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
HA HA.
340
00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:04,699
[Irish accent]
WELL, I'M OFF TO BECOME IRISH!
341
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,867
HEY, HERLIHY, I TOLD YOU
ABOUT EATING THE GRASS.
342
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,214
[sheep bleating]
343
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,981
YOU SEE WHAT I DID
TO HIM OVER THERE?
344
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:12,180
SHAUGHNESSY KICKED ME IN
THE FACE, AND I STOLE HIS PANTS,
345
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:13,882
AND NOW HE LOOKS RIDICULOUS,
DOESN'T HE?
346
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:15,551
ALL RIGHT.
347
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,822
THANKS TO ME WIFE'S MISTAKEN
BELIEF THAT I WAS DYING
348
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,990
OF BRAIN CANCER,
I WAS NOW BACK IN ME HOME.
349
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,987
- FORREST, WHAT ARE--
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
350
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,819
- OH, I'M MAKING
A SWEATER, LOVE.
351
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,656
WOULD YOU EVER BRING ME
MY KNITTING NEEDLES?
352
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:28,002
- OH, UM, I WILL
IN JUST ONE SECOND.
353
00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:30,495
YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T WE PUT
DOWN THE SHEARS,
354
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,200
AND YOU HAVE
A LITTLE LIE-DOWN.
355
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,672
- WELL, I HAVE WORKED
AWFULLY HARD.
356
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,070
- YEAH, AND I'LL MAKE YOU
SOME OF THAT
357
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,342
O'NEILL'S BLOOD PUDDING
358
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,739
THAT YOU BOUGHT
FOR DINNER TONIGHT.
359
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,710
- OH, LISTEN, MCGINTY
IS A HOUSE SHEEP.
360
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,169
I HOPE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT
WITH THAT.
361
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,878
- IS HE?
OKAY.
362
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,679
- I FELT SINCERELY GUILTY
ABOUT RETURNING TO ME FAMILY
363
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,181
UNDER FALSE PRETENSES,
BUT WE WERE ALL ENJOYING
364
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,354
THE LUCK OF THE IRISH
TOO MUCH TO LET THE TRUTH
365
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,582
STAND IN THE WAY.
366
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,217
HEY, PUT THAT FORK DOWN,
YOUNG FELLA.
367
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,522
WE HAVEN'T SAID GRACE YET.
- OH.
368
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,864
- IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND
THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT.
369
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,189
- WHAT?
370
00:15:58,225 --> 00:15:59,355
- YOUR FATHER'S
SAYING GRACE, ERIC.
371
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:00,692
GET WITH IT, COME ON.
372
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,057
- PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER,
YOUNG MAN.
373
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,655
DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN,
374
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,266
WE THANK YE HUMBLY
375
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,468
FOR THIS BREAD
THAT WE'RE ABOUT TO RECEIVE,
376
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,600
AND WE THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR MAKING US IRISH.
377
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:14,737
PLEASE NEVER STRIKE US BLIND
OR GIVE US CONSUMPTION.
378
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,044
- IS THIS PART
OF THE BRAIN TUMOR?
379
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,843
- YES, IT IS.
- OH.
380
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:18,847
- THANK YOU, LORD.
381
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:21,178
AMEN.
- AMEN.
382
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:23,254
- AMEN.
- THANK YOU, FORREST.
383
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,593
- WHO'LL HAVE
SOME BLOOD SAUSAGE?
384
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,748
[Irish folk music]
385
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,517
WHOO-HOO!
386
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:33,286
* OH, HE TWISTED HIS WHISKERS
AND SAID WITH A GRIN *
387
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,956
* DON'T MAKE ME MAD,
I'LL LET MYSELF IN *
388
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:40,373
* AND I SAID TO THE MOUSE
[clapping]
389
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,140
all: STAY OUT OF MY HOUSE!
[laughter]
390
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:46,341
- I WAS HAVING A MARVELOUS TIME
LIVING LIFE AS AN IRISHMAN
391
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:47,773
WITH ME FAMILY AT HOME
392
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,207
AND WITH ME NEW IRISH FAMILY
DOWN AT THE PUB.
393
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,453
IT WAS THE KIND OF DAY
THAT MAKES A MAN FEEL
394
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,079
THAT NOTHING
COULD EVER GO WRONG.
395
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,821
YEAH!
AH!
396
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,118
[laughs]
THAT'S GREAT.
397
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,650
I MIGHT DO A LITTLE BIT
OF A JIG--
398
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,885
OH, LOOK WHO'S HERE,
ME WILD IRISH ROSE.
399
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,720
- I SPOKE TO YOUR DOCTOR.
- AH.
400
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,515
- YOU DON'T HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR.
401
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:07,287
- UM, WELL...
402
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:10,297
WE IRISH ARE KNOWN
FOR OUR BLARNEY, ARE WE NOT?
403
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,530
[laughs]
- YOUR SON THINKS YOU'RE DYING.
404
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,095
- UH...
405
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:16,241
- THIS--THIS IS FOR THE SHOW,
ISN'T IT?
406
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,369
IS THAT WHAT IT IS?
- UM...
407
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:22,106
UM, YOU KNOW
I CAN'T TELL YOU, RIGHT?
408
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,912
I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT'S
FOR THE SHOW. I'M NOT ALLOWED--
409
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,253
- OKAY, I NEED TO KNOW HOW MUCH
OF WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING
410
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:26,708
IS FOR THE SHOW.
- I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT.
411
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:28,246
- DID YOU GET ADDICTED
TO COCAINE FOR THE SHOW?
412
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,881
- [sighs]
SWEETHEART--
413
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:33,646
- DID YOU GET MY DAD KILLED
IN SPACE FOR THE SHOW?
414
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:36,956
OH, MY GOD.
DID YOU DIVORCE ME FOR THE SHOW?
415
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:45,731
- EVERYTHING I DO,
I DO FOR IRELAND!
416
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,665
all:
IRELAND!
417
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:51,000
- OKAY, LISTEN, I KNOW
YOU GET PASSIONATE ABOUT THINGS,
418
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:53,667
AND YOU LOSE YOURSELF IN THEM.
I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU, OKAY?
419
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,976
BUT IF THERE'S ANY WAY WE ARE
EVER GOING TO BE A FAMILY AGAIN,
420
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,278
YOU NEED TO PUT LIMITS
ON WHAT YOU DO FOR THE SHOW.
421
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,451
OUR FAMILY HAS TO COME
FIRST, FORREST.
422
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,220
- DARLING, THE FAMILY ALWAYS
COMES FIRST.
423
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,379
DON'T EVEN DOUBT IT--
- OKAY, WOULD YOU JUST STOP?
424
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:06,046
STOP DOING THE VOICE.
425
00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:07,253
- 'TIS TRUE,
ME BROGUE IS THICK...
426
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,217
- STOP IT.
- BUT I MEAN WHAT I SAY.
427
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:12,586
- I NEED YOU
TO STOP THE VOICE.
428
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,431
- UM, IT'S A BIT
OF A PUZZLER.
429
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,867
- YOU'RE NOT GONNA STOP.
ALL RIGHT.
430
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:23,771
- NO, I MEAN, I--
- OKAY, THIS IS DONE.
431
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,873
- I CAN'T STOP IT--SWEETHEART.
- THIS IS DONE. I'M SORRY.
432
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,365
- I JUST--I CAN'T DO THIS
ANYMORE, OKAY?
433
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:28,737
WE'RE DONE.
434
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,275
AND, YEAH, JUST SO YOU KNOW,
EVERYBODY,
435
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,450
THIS MAN IS FROM WISCONSIN!
436
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,549
- UH, COME ON.
DON'T--NOW, LOVE--
437
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,181
LOVE, LOVE, COME ON.
- JUST GET OUT OF MY FACE!
438
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:39,086
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
- NO, FORREST, STOP!
439
00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:41,916
- SWEETHEART, DON'T--
AH.
440
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,924
HMM.
441
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,059
- MM.
442
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:49,604
THAT WAS GREAT.
WE GOT IT.
443
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,359
TERRIFIC.
444
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:53,298
DO YOU WANT TO WRAP, OR DO
YOU WANT TO PUNCH ANYBODY OUT?
445
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,373
THAT'S PRETTY IRISH.
446
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,472
- DID YOU SEE WHAT JUST HAPPENED
WITH MY WIFE?
447
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:02,065
- YOUR EX-WIFE IS A NUT JOB.
448
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,040
- WHAT?
449
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:08,047
- LOOK, THE IRISH SUFFER.
IT'S IN THEIR BLOOD, OKAY?
450
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,220
IT'S TRADITION.
451
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:12,888
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
- HMM?
452
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,389
- YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME
ABOUT THE GUY
453
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,991
WHO WAITED AND WAITED
AND WAITED AND WAITED
454
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,832
UNTIL A LITTLE BIT OF FUNGUS
TURNED INTO PENICILLIN.
455
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:20,828
- MM.
- AND THIS IRISH SEQUENCE
456
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:24,500
IS VERY CLOSE
TO BECOMING PENICILLIN...
457
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:27,531
THANKS TO YOU.
- IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?
458
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,997
- WELL, THOSE WERE YOUR WORDS,
AND I THINK THEY SAY A LOT.
459
00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:40,983
- YOU KNOW, GRANT,
WHEN I STARTED HERE,
460
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,753
I BELIEVED IN WHAT
WE WERE DOING,
461
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:46,023
BUT NOW I'M NOT SO SURE.
462
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,262
BUT THERE'S ONE THING
I DO KNOW.
463
00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:51,255
YOU'RE THE BIGGEST JAG-OFF
I'VE EVER WORKED FOR,
464
00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:54,258
AND I HOPE THIS PLACE BURNS
TO THE GROUND WITH YOU IN IT,
465
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,261
'CAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT YOU DESERVE,
466
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:59,673
YOU NICKEL-AND-DIME
CHICKEN[bleep] MOTHER[bleep]!
467
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,339
[normal voice]
YOU CALL YOURSELF A PRODUCER?
468
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,869
YOU COULDN'T PRODUCE
A HAM SANDWICH!
469
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,274
NOW I AM WALKING OUT
THAT DOOR,
470
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,036
AND I AM NEVER COMING BACK,
471
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:09,914
NOT IF YOU BEG ME!
I QUIT!
472
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,912
[all cheering]
- YEAH!
473
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,884
- AND ONE MORE THING!
474
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:18,617
all: OH!
[cheering]
475
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,391
- CATCH HIM.
DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!
476
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,720
FORREST!
477
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,764
DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY.
DO YOU HAVE HIM?
478
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,529
- SUZANNE!
479
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,302
SUZANNE!
480
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,972
SUZANNE!
481
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:39,541
- OKAY, WEIRDLY ENOUGH, FORREST
HAS ACTUALLY NOT BEEN SEEN
482
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:42,612
BY ANYONE HERE AT THE SHOW
SINCE THAT NIGHT,
483
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:45,982
SO IT SEEMS LIKE
HE REALLY DID QUIT FOR REAL,
484
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:49,552
WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY
VERY UNPROFESSIONAL.
485
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,552
BEING IRISH, HOWEVER,
SEEMED LIKE A TON OF FUN,
486
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:56,855
SO I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND GIVE
THAT THE OLD FIVE STARS.
487
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,355
THAT'S ALL THE TIME
THAT WE HAVE FOR TONIGHT.
488
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:05,774
I'M A.J. GIBBS, AMERICA,
AND YOUR LIFE IS MY LIFE.
35929
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