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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:10,880 - LIFE--IT'S LITERALLY ALL WE HAVE. 2 00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:12,251 BUT IS IT ANY GOOD? 3 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,710 I'M A REVIEWER, BUT I DON'T REVIEW 4 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,917 FOOD, BOOKS, OR MOVIES. 5 00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,989 I REVIEW LIFE ITSELF. 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,918 VIVA THE REVOLUTION! 7 00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:23,193 [crowd cheering] 8 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,434 [Taser crackling] AGH! 9 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:28,429 [triumphant fanfare] 10 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:32,332 * 11 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,696 WELCOME TO REVIEW. I'M FORREST MACNEIL. 12 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,995 WITH ME AS ALWAYS IS A.J. GIBBS. 13 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,267 HI, A.J. - HI, FORREST. 14 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:39,266 - OKAY, WHAT'S MY NEXT REVIEW? 15 00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:40,867 - OKAY. [tablet whirs] 16 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:43,738 THIS COMES FROM CLARK AT TOPCO INDUSTRIES. 17 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,447 - I'VE WORKED AT MY JOB FOR NINE YEARS, BUT I HATE MY NEW BOSS. 18 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,180 I JUST WANT TO QUIT IN HIS BIG, FAT, STUPID FACE. 19 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,617 WHAT WOULD THAT FEEL LIKE? 20 00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:55,422 ALSO, BLUR THIS IF YOU USE MY QUESTION. 21 00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,086 - AHA. CLARK, YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW 22 00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:59,725 WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO QUIT A JOB IN A BLAZE OF GLORY, 23 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,160 AND THAT IS JUST WHAT I WILL DO. HERE I GO. 24 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:06,367 I BEGAN MY EXPERIENCE BY WRITING THE MOST EPIC 25 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,840 TAKE-THIS-JOB-AND-SHOVE-IT SPEECH I COULD IMAGINE. 26 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,369 THIS IS SO HARD. 27 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,674 WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A BOSS THAT YOU HATE, YOU KNOW? 28 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,477 - YOU'RE THE BIGGEST JAG-OFF I'VE EVER WORKED FOR, 29 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,150 YOU NICKEL-AND-DIME CHICKEN[bleep], 30 00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:22,017 AND I HOPE THIS PLACE BURNS TO THE GROUND WITH YOU IN IT. 31 00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,449 - [whispering] THAT'S GREAT. 32 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,224 [normal voice] I WAS NOW READY TO DELIVER 33 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,393 MY BITTER FAREWELL. [clears throat] 34 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,291 - YOU REALIZE THAT IF YOU QUIT YOUR JOB AT REVIEW, 35 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,863 THAT MEANS YOU'LL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO ISSUE 36 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,991 A REVIEW FOR QUITTING YOUR JOB. 37 00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:36,962 - RIGHT. GRANT WAS RIGHT. 38 00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:39,497 WITH A BIT OF HELP FROM OUR H.R. DEPARTMENT, 39 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,043 I WENT TO A LOCAL BUSINESS AND TOOK A CUSTOMER-SERVICE JOB 40 00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:45,869 IN ORDER TO QUIT IT. - ALL RIGHT. 41 00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:48,306 - HEY, FORREST. [chuckles] 42 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:52,482 JUST A LITTLE GIFT TO SAY WELCOME ABOARD. 43 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,423 HOW'S YOUR FIRST DAY GOING? 44 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:58,048 - YOU KNOW, RON, WHEN I STARTED HERE, 45 00:01:58,085 --> 00:02:00,885 I BELIEVED IN WHAT WE WERE DOING. 46 00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:03,791 BUT NOW I'M NOT SO SURE. 47 00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:07,304 BUT THERE IS ONE THING I KNOW. 48 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:11,968 YOU'RE THE BIGGEST JAG-OFF I'VE EVER WORKED FOR, 49 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:16,439 AND I HOPE THIS PLACE BURNS TO THE GROUND WITH YOU IN IT 50 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,570 BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESERVE, 51 00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:24,576 YOU NICKEL-AND-DIME CHICKEN[bleep] MOTHER[bleep]! 52 00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:27,482 YOU CALL YOURSELF A MANAGER? 53 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:30,745 YOU COULDN'T MANAGE A HAM SANDWICH! 54 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,924 [object clatters] 55 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:36,763 I AM WALKING OUT THAT DOOR... 56 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,230 AND I WON'T COME BACK, 57 00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:43,227 NOT EVEN IF YOU BEG ME. 58 00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:45,801 WHO'S WITH ME? 59 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:58,254 WELL, I HAD A JOB, AND I QUIT IT WITH A FANTASTIC SPEECH, 60 00:02:58,246 --> 00:03:01,046 BUT SOMETHING WASN'T TAKING HOLD FOR THIS REVIEW. 61 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,721 IT WASN'T MY REAL JOB. 62 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,390 AT NO POINT DID I EVEN UNDERSTAND 63 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,288 WHAT WORK WAS EXPECTED OF ME. 64 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,390 SO I TOOK THE NEXT JOB I FOUND-- 65 00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:11,262 SERVING COFFEE IN THE LOBBY OF AN OFFICE BUILDING, 66 00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:15,799 THE KIND OF JOB ANYONE COULD MASTER AND DESPISE IN NO TIME. 67 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,369 MORNING. 68 00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:20,098 MY BOSS WAS AN INCREDIBLY OLD MAN NAMED WILLY, 69 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:23,273 WITH A STRUGGLING BUSINESS AND A LONG LIST OF INFIRMITIES. 70 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,274 - I WASN'T REALLY LOOKING TO HIRE SOMEONE. 71 00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:28,076 NOT EVEN SURE I COULD AFFORD TO, HONESTLY. 72 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,878 I JUST CAN'T TAKE STANDING ALL DAY. 73 00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:32,710 - AND MY CO-WORKER WAS WENDELL, WHO WAS DEDICATED, 74 00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:36,076 METICULOUSLY ORGANIZED, AND, INCIDENTALLY, AUTISTIC. 75 00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:39,286 HE LIKES TO MAKE SURE THE SPOONS ARE ALL FACING THE SAME WAY. 76 00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,587 - OH, YEAH, HE'S GOOD ON INVENTORY. 77 00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:44,962 - YEAH. - THERE'S 47 NAPKINS, 58 CUPS. 78 00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,732 THERE WERE 59, BUT PAM FROM THE THIRD FLOOR HAD DECAF. 79 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:50,561 - WORKING ALONGSIDE WILLY AND WENDELL BEGAN TO MAKE ME 80 00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,298 FEEL LIKE I WAS PART OF A FAMILY AGAIN. 81 00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:54,841 THEY INSPIRED ME TO MAKE THIS BUSINESS 82 00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,638 AS SUCCESSFUL AS IT COULD BE. 83 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,310 YOU KNOW, WILLY, THERE'S NO REASON THIS COULDN'T BE 84 00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:00,466 A LOT MORE PROFITABLE. 85 00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:01,978 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 86 00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,749 - ONE, TWO, THREE. 87 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:07,418 OPEN YOUR EYES! 88 00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,378 WELCOME TO LOBBY JAVA. 89 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:12,147 I HAD TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF BRINGING WILLY'S COFFEE CART 90 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,545 INTO THE MODERN AGE, 91 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,717 COMPLETE WITH FAIR-TRADE, ORGANIC COFFEE 92 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,186 AND GOURMET PASTRIES, 93 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,234 AS WELL AS THE EXORBITANT PRICE MARKUPS 94 00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,857 THAT GO ALONG WITH THEM. 95 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,004 WENDELL, YOU SEEM OVERWHELMED. - IT'S FINE. 96 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,600 - BUT THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED YOU TO FOCUS ON RIGHT NOW. 97 00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,532 I NEED TO KNOW HOW MANY PASTRIES ARE IN THIS CASE. 98 00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,437 CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME? - SURE. 99 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:32,339 - IN NO TIME AT ALL, WILLY'S WAS TRANSFORMED INTO A SENSATION. 100 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:35,713 THE BUZZ SPREAD QUICKER THAN THE SMILE ACROSS MY FACE 101 00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:37,513 WHEN I ARRIVED TO WORK EACH MORNING. 102 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:38,745 HOW MANY CAPPUCCINOS CAN I GET FOR YOU? 103 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,749 - JUST THE ONE, PLEASE. - [laughs] OKAY. 104 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,451 $3.50. THANK YOU. 105 00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:45,693 THERE WERE NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT--I LOVED MY JOB, 106 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,419 TO THE POINT WHERE I BEGAN TO FORGET 107 00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:49,355 THAT IT WASN'T MY REAL JOB. 108 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,464 [knocks on counter] - EXCUSE ME. 109 00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,433 - OH, WE'RE NOT OPEN YET, SIR-- OH, GRANT. 110 00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:56,463 HI. - HEY. 111 00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:57,767 DO YOU HAVE A SECOND TO TALK? 112 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:58,968 - UH... - JUST FOR A SEC? 113 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,369 - YES. - YEAH. 114 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,098 - HOW'S THE SHOW GOING? - WELL... 115 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,865 WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? 116 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,774 'CAUSE WE'RE WAITING FOR YOU TO QUIT THIS JOB. 117 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,776 - OH, YEAH. 118 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,508 QUIT THIS JOB? 119 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,183 - THAT'S WHY YOU TOOK THIS JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE. 120 00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,151 - I WAS THINKING OF-- MAYBE I WOULD CUT DOWN MY HOURS 121 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,520 ONCE I GET THINGS UP TO SPEED, 122 00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:15,878 'CAUSE I HAVE A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT-- 123 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,276 - WELL, YOU'RE REVIEWING QUITTING. 124 00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:18,845 VIEWERS NEED THIS. - YEAH. 125 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:21,716 - AMERICA NEEDS THIS, AND THE WORLD NEEDS THIS. 126 00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:23,655 - SIX MINUTES UNTIL THE PASTRIES ARRIVE, MR. FORREST. 127 00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:25,391 - DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER OR WHAT? 128 00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,403 - [sighs] 129 00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:31,155 - FORREST, GET OUT HERE. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 130 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:37,910 TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. "LOBBY JAVA BY FORREST." 131 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:40,408 - UH, WILLY... 132 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:46,405 I'M REALLY SORRY. UH... [clears throat] 133 00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:49,084 YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRST STARTED HERE, 134 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:52,986 I BELIEVED IN WHAT WE WERE DOING. 135 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,560 NOW I'M NOT SO SURE. 136 00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,159 - WHAT? 137 00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:01,460 - BUT THERE IS, UH, ONE THING I KNOW. 138 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:04,625 YOU'RE THE BIGGEST JAG-OFF I'VE EVER WORKED FOR. 139 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,225 - FORREST... - AND I HOPE THIS PLACE-- 140 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,436 UGH-- 141 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:11,609 BURNS TO THE GROUND WITH YOU IN IT, 142 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:16,479 BECAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESERVE, 143 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:21,850 YOU NICKEL-AND-DIME CHICKEN[bleep] MOTHER[bleep]. 144 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:25,022 OH, BOY. 145 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:28,462 YOU CALL YOURSELF A MANAGER? 146 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:32,459 YOU COULDN'T MANAGE A HAM SANDWICH! 147 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:36,030 [clears throat] OKAY, I AM LEAVING HERE, 148 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,603 AND I AM NEVER COMING BACK, 149 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:42,873 NOT IF YOU BEG ME! 150 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,143 WHO'S WITH ME? 151 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:50,707 - I AM! - OH. 152 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,014 - IF MR. FORREST GOES, I GO! 153 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,716 - OH, GOD. 154 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,820 - YOU COULDN'T MANAGE A HAM SANDWICH! 155 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:07,764 [screams] 156 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:10,125 - SINCE WE SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT OUR JOBS, 157 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,503 OUR CO-WORKERS CAN BECOME LIKE A SECOND FAMILY, 158 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:15,240 AND OUR WORKPLACE LIKE A SECOND HOME. 159 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,798 AS EXHILARATING A RUSH AS IT IS 160 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,107 TO TELL OFF AN AUTHORITY FIGURE, 161 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,808 WHEN YOU QUIT YOUR JOB, 162 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,510 YOU'RE LEAVING BEHIND MUCH MORE THAN JUST A PAYCHECK. 163 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:25,910 QUITTING YOUR JOB-- TWO STARS. 164 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:32,949 [triumphant fanfare] 165 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:35,516 - ALL RIGHT, A.J., WHAT LIFE EXPERIENCE SHALL I REVIEW NEXT? 166 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:36,893 - OKAY. [tablet whirs] 167 00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:40,064 AN EMAIL FROM GLORIA IN NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE. 168 00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,103 SHE SAYS... 169 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,137 - WOW. 170 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,538 THAT'S A GREAT ONE AND A PROFOUND ONE. 171 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,571 - I KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF IT WAS MY LAST DAY ON EARTH. 172 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,776 - YEAH? - I WOULD ADOPT A BABY. 173 00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,547 - YEAH, WELL, YOU-- 174 00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:00,146 YOU MIGHT WANT TO GIVE THAT A LITTLE MORE THOUGHT. 175 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,080 BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO AT ALL 176 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,375 ON MY LAST DAY. 177 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,616 I GUESS I'M GOING TO FIND OUT. 178 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,563 TO LIVE THIS DAY AS IF IT WERE MY LAST 179 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:10,058 REQUIRED A SENSE OF RECKLESS ABANDON. 180 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,120 [tattoo needle buzzing] OH, [bleep]! 181 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,828 OH, MOTHER[bleep]! OH, GOD! 182 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,961 I DECIDED TO HAVE "CARPE DIEM," 183 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,996 LATIN FOR "SEIZE THE DAY," TATTOOED ON MY BODY. 184 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:22,102 [bleep] THIS! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? 185 00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,235 - WELL, I STILL GOT TO CHARGE YOU 186 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:24,670 FOR THE LETTERS I PUT ON YOU. 187 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:27,065 - I WOULD NOT GET THE FULL CARPE DIEM, 188 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,237 BUT I WOULD GET... 189 00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:30,335 CA. 190 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,577 CA, YEAH. 191 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:33,750 CA! [laughs] 192 00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:37,021 I'M REALLY LIVING! [laughs] 193 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:41,020 HEY, BRING US SOME MORE NACHOS, OKAY? 194 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,824 WITH EXTRA CHEESE. OH, HELL, IT'S MY LAST DAY. 195 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,957 JUST BRING US A BOWL OF CHEESE! 196 00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:47,263 [laughter] 197 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:48,834 - HEY, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 198 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,962 IF THIS WERE YOUR LAST DAY ON EARTH, 199 00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:53,268 I MEAN, IF THERE WERE NO REPERCUSSIONS BEYOND TODAY, 200 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,700 YOU COULD JUST GO FOR IT, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? 201 00:08:56,737 --> 00:09:00,267 - WELL, I-I-I GUESS I-- - NO, NO, NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? 202 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:03,007 DON'T TELL ME. 203 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,613 JUST DO IT. 204 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,816 - OKAY. 205 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:14,051 EXCUSE ME. 206 00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,517 DOES ANYBODY WANT TO LEAVE, 207 00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:18,793 GO BACK TO MY PLACE, AND [bleep] RIGHT NOW? 208 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,073 - NO. 209 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,470 WHERE ARE YOU-- - OH, MY GOD! 210 00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,771 - THAT IS FANTASTIC! THAT'S THE THING 211 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,814 TO DO ON YOUR LAST DAY. [laughs] 212 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,640 WELL DONE. [laughs] 213 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,383 OH--OH, NO. OH, NO. [laughing] 214 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,410 - HEY, EVERYBODY! 215 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,054 - WHO--WHO WANTS TO GO [bleep] ME AND MR. MACNEIL RIGHT NOW? 216 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,394 [both laughing] 217 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,819 - YES! [laughs] 218 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:56,130 [screaming] 219 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:57,733 OH! 220 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:58,825 UNDETERRED BY THE LACK OF WOMEN 221 00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,796 INTERESTED IN HAVING SEX WITH US, 222 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:04,444 JOSH AND I ENJOYED A MORE DEPENDABLE FORM OF MACHISMO. 223 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:05,971 - COME ON, SHOOT IT! - BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE, 224 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,136 YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG MAN! 225 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,175 - [laughs] - COME ON! 226 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,939 [gunshot] OH, COME ON. 227 00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,748 IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY--THE WAY I'M STANDING? 228 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:13,810 WHAT'S GOING ON? - YOU'RE JUST NOT HITTING IT. 229 00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,117 - HOW ABOUT THIS? 230 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,678 SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! - YEAH! 231 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,087 - COME ON! - [laughs] 232 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,188 - COME ON! - COME ON! 233 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:24,691 - OH, YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GUY! 234 00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:28,964 [bleep]! CA! 235 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,996 - CA! 236 00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,841 - OH! [laughs] 237 00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,644 - OH, COOL. - THAT WENT A LONG WAY. 238 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:43,706 - THAT WAS GOOD. 239 00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,454 - TO LIFE. MMM. 240 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,478 - TO LIFE. 241 00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:50,124 - THERE IS SO MUCH I WILL MISS. 242 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,090 NOW LET'S GO GET SOME WHORES. 243 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,086 [laughter] - AH! 244 00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:59,464 WHILE RELAPSING ON COCAINE WITH PROSTITUTES 245 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,732 IS ONE OF THE WORST THINGS A MAN CAN EVER DO, 246 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:05,072 REGRETTABLY ON MY LAST DAY, IT SEEMED LIKE A REASONABLE CHOICE. 247 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,868 [siren wailing] OH, [bleep]. 248 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,170 - COPS. 249 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,541 - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! - OH, OH, OH. 250 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:10,799 [screaming] GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! 251 00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:11,968 [screaming] GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! 252 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,235 - NOBODY MOVE! 253 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,013 COME HERE! COME HERE! COME HERE! 254 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,912 - NO, NO, NO. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY! 255 00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:18,384 - GET DOWN! - OKAY, OKAY, OKAY! 256 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,351 - JOSH! [all yelling] 257 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,050 - RUN, MR. MACNEIL, IT'S YOUR LAST DAY! 258 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,582 - COME HERE! 259 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,316 - YOU'VE BEEN A WONDERFUL UNPAID EMPLOYEE! 260 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,352 - THANK YOU! I'VE LEARNED A LOT FROM YOU, 261 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,487 ABOUT MYSELF AND ABOUT THE BUSINESS! 262 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,262 UGH! OW! 263 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,761 - THE SETBACKS AND CURVEBALLS OF LIFE WERE NOTHING TO ME NOW. 264 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,204 CA! 265 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,928 THEY HAD NO POWER TO HURT ME 266 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,934 BECAUSE I DIDN'T FEAR WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO ME NEXT. 267 00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,526 [siren wailing] 268 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,597 BUT AS DUSK DESCENDED UPON ME FOR THE LAST TIME, 269 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,936 I BEGAN TO FEEL THE INCREDIBLE SADNESS 270 00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:48,843 OF LEAVING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE BEHIND. 271 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:49,836 ALSO, THE COCAINE WAS WEARING OFF. 272 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,777 [sobbing] WHY? 273 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,780 [knocks at door] 274 00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,385 - OH, MY GOD, WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES? 275 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,590 - MY CLOTHES ARE AT A WHOREHOUSE. 276 00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:03,792 - UGH. OKAY, FORREST. 277 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:04,964 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 278 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,692 I'M HERE TO SAY GOOD-BYE FOREVER. 279 00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:07,964 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 280 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,795 - IT'S MY LAST DAY. 281 00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,368 SO I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU 282 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,129 FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE DONE FOR ME AND... 283 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,867 TO REALLY LIVE THIS DAY AS IF IT WERE MY LAST, 284 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:19,974 I NEEDED THE PEOPLE AROUND ME TO BELIEVE THAT IT WAS TOO. 285 00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:22,807 - WAIT. ARE--ARE YOU SICK? 286 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:26,113 - BUT LYING SEEMED OUT OF BOUNDS. 287 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:29,516 - OH, MY GOD. YOU HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR. 288 00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,179 I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THIS BEFORE. 289 00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:33,048 THIS TOTALLY MAKES SENSE. 290 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,616 ALICIA'S UNCLE HAD ONE, AND SHE SAID 291 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,685 IT PUSHED ON PART OF HIS BRAIN. 292 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:40,634 IT MADE HIM ACT CRAZY. 293 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,160 [sighs] 294 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,525 THAT'S WHY YOU'VE BEEN SUCH A LUNATIC. 295 00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:46,674 - COCAINE IS AMAZING! [grunts] 296 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,369 [retches, screams] 297 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:49,901 OH, GOD, I'M GONNA DIE! 298 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,197 ARR, ARR, ARR! 299 00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:54,308 STINKIEST OF POOPS THAT I'VE HAD-- 300 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,111 MY CLOTHES ARE AT A WHOREHOUSE. 301 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,417 THE HUMAN BRAIN. - [sighs] 302 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:05,849 I AM SO SORRY. 303 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:09,163 IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO? 304 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:11,619 YOU JUST SAY THE WORD. 305 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,061 THAT'S THE DAY WE WERE MARRIED. 306 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,126 - HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. - OH. 307 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:20,265 AND THIS WAS-- HOW OLD WAS HE HERE? 308 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,400 DO YOU REMEMBER? 309 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,404 - 2 1/2, I THINK. - 2 1/2? 310 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:26,766 - WE'VE HAD SOME GOOD GAMES OF BANANAGRAMS IN THIS FAMILY. 311 00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:29,314 LIVING THIS DAY AS IF IT WERE MY LAST WAS INCREDIBLE. 312 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,952 SUZANNE HAD TAKEN ME BACK. 313 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,349 HAD TRUE LOVE PREVAILED, OR WAS IT JUST 314 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,881 HER MISTAKEN BELIEF THAT I HAD A MEDICAL EXCUSE 315 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,694 FOR MONTHS OF BIZARRE BEHAVIOR AND WOULD SOON BE DEAD? 316 00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:43,259 WHATEVER IT WAS, AT LONG LAST WE WERE HAPPY AGAIN. 317 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:47,900 - CAN YOU DO ANYTHING, OR DOES IT HURT TOO MUCH? 318 00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:51,695 - OH. NO, I CAN DO STUFF. 319 00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,431 MM. - MM. 320 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:56,666 [both laughing, moaning] 321 00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:01,341 YOU KNOW, WE GET SO CAUGHT UP IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY STRUGGLES 322 00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:05,584 THAT WE CAN BE BLIND TO THE REAL TREASURES OF LIFE. 323 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:10,522 LIVING EACH DAY LIKE IT'S YOUR LAST JUST MAKES THAT IMPOSSIBLE. 324 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,790 THAT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 325 00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,449 FIVE STARS. 326 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:21,128 - I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY LAST DAY ON EARTH. 327 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:22,731 - YEAH. IT WAS FUN. 328 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,262 - YEAH. - YEAH. 329 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,244 - A.J., DO WE HAVE TIME FOR ONE LAST REVIEW? 330 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,383 - LET'S GO FOR IT. - YES. 331 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,048 - CLAP4KIM@YAHOO.COM ASKS... 332 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,419 - OH, MY GOODNESS. 333 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,685 WELL, SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE IRISH. 334 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,593 NOT SURE HOW I'M GONNA DO THAT. I'M ONLY HALF IRISH. 335 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,426 - IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE'S ABOUT TO GET HAMMERED AGAIN. 336 00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:57,202 [laughs] - UH, WELL, NOW, A.J., 337 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,130 I THINK AN IRISH PERSON WOULD BE VERY OFFENDED BY THAT, 338 00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:00,466 BUT THEY WOULD ALSO ADMIT 339 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,140 THAT IT'S ABSOLUTELY TRUE. HA HA. 340 00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:04,699 [Irish accent] WELL, I'M OFF TO BECOME IRISH! 341 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,867 HEY, HERLIHY, I TOLD YOU ABOUT EATING THE GRASS. 342 00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,214 [sheep bleating] 343 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,981 YOU SEE WHAT I DID TO HIM OVER THERE? 344 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:12,180 SHAUGHNESSY KICKED ME IN THE FACE, AND I STOLE HIS PANTS, 345 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:13,882 AND NOW HE LOOKS RIDICULOUS, DOESN'T HE? 346 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:15,551 ALL RIGHT. 347 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,822 THANKS TO ME WIFE'S MISTAKEN BELIEF THAT I WAS DYING 348 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,990 OF BRAIN CANCER, I WAS NOW BACK IN ME HOME. 349 00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,987 - FORREST, WHAT ARE-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 350 00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,819 - OH, I'M MAKING A SWEATER, LOVE. 351 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,656 WOULD YOU EVER BRING ME MY KNITTING NEEDLES? 352 00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:28,002 - OH, UM, I WILL IN JUST ONE SECOND. 353 00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:30,495 YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T WE PUT DOWN THE SHEARS, 354 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,200 AND YOU HAVE A LITTLE LIE-DOWN. 355 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,672 - WELL, I HAVE WORKED AWFULLY HARD. 356 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,070 - YEAH, AND I'LL MAKE YOU SOME OF THAT 357 00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,342 O'NEILL'S BLOOD PUDDING 358 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,739 THAT YOU BOUGHT FOR DINNER TONIGHT. 359 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,710 - OH, LISTEN, MCGINTY IS A HOUSE SHEEP. 360 00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,169 I HOPE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT WITH THAT. 361 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,878 - IS HE? OKAY. 362 00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,679 - I FELT SINCERELY GUILTY ABOUT RETURNING TO ME FAMILY 363 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,181 UNDER FALSE PRETENSES, BUT WE WERE ALL ENJOYING 364 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,354 THE LUCK OF THE IRISH TOO MUCH TO LET THE TRUTH 365 00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,582 STAND IN THE WAY. 366 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,217 HEY, PUT THAT FORK DOWN, YOUNG FELLA. 367 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,522 WE HAVEN'T SAID GRACE YET. - OH. 368 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,864 - IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT. 369 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,189 - WHAT? 370 00:15:58,225 --> 00:15:59,355 - YOUR FATHER'S SAYING GRACE, ERIC. 371 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:00,692 GET WITH IT, COME ON. 372 00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,057 - PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER, YOUNG MAN. 373 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,655 DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN, 374 00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,266 WE THANK YE HUMBLY 375 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,468 FOR THIS BREAD THAT WE'RE ABOUT TO RECEIVE, 376 00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,600 AND WE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING US IRISH. 377 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:14,737 PLEASE NEVER STRIKE US BLIND OR GIVE US CONSUMPTION. 378 00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:16,044 - IS THIS PART OF THE BRAIN TUMOR? 379 00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,843 - YES, IT IS. - OH. 380 00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:18,847 - THANK YOU, LORD. 381 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:21,178 AMEN. - AMEN. 382 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:23,254 - AMEN. - THANK YOU, FORREST. 383 00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,593 - WHO'LL HAVE SOME BLOOD SAUSAGE? 384 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,748 [Irish folk music] 385 00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,517 WHOO-HOO! 386 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:33,286 * OH, HE TWISTED HIS WHISKERS AND SAID WITH A GRIN * 387 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,956 * DON'T MAKE ME MAD, I'LL LET MYSELF IN * 388 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:40,373 * AND I SAID TO THE MOUSE [clapping] 389 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,140 all: STAY OUT OF MY HOUSE! [laughter] 390 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:46,341 - I WAS HAVING A MARVELOUS TIME LIVING LIFE AS AN IRISHMAN 391 00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:47,773 WITH ME FAMILY AT HOME 392 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,207 AND WITH ME NEW IRISH FAMILY DOWN AT THE PUB. 393 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,453 IT WAS THE KIND OF DAY THAT MAKES A MAN FEEL 394 00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,079 THAT NOTHING COULD EVER GO WRONG. 395 00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,821 YEAH! AH! 396 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,118 [laughs] THAT'S GREAT. 397 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,650 I MIGHT DO A LITTLE BIT OF A JIG-- 398 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,885 OH, LOOK WHO'S HERE, ME WILD IRISH ROSE. 399 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,720 - I SPOKE TO YOUR DOCTOR. - AH. 400 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,515 - YOU DON'T HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR. 401 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:07,287 - UM, WELL... 402 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:10,297 WE IRISH ARE KNOWN FOR OUR BLARNEY, ARE WE NOT? 403 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,530 [laughs] - YOUR SON THINKS YOU'RE DYING. 404 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,095 - UH... 405 00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:16,241 - THIS--THIS IS FOR THE SHOW, ISN'T IT? 406 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,369 IS THAT WHAT IT IS? - UM... 407 00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:22,106 UM, YOU KNOW I CAN'T TELL YOU, RIGHT? 408 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,912 I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT'S FOR THE SHOW. I'M NOT ALLOWED-- 409 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,253 - OKAY, I NEED TO KNOW HOW MUCH OF WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING 410 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:26,708 IS FOR THE SHOW. - I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT. 411 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:28,246 - DID YOU GET ADDICTED TO COCAINE FOR THE SHOW? 412 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,881 - [sighs] SWEETHEART-- 413 00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:33,646 - DID YOU GET MY DAD KILLED IN SPACE FOR THE SHOW? 414 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:36,956 OH, MY GOD. DID YOU DIVORCE ME FOR THE SHOW? 415 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:45,731 - EVERYTHING I DO, I DO FOR IRELAND! 416 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,665 all: IRELAND! 417 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:51,000 - OKAY, LISTEN, I KNOW YOU GET PASSIONATE ABOUT THINGS, 418 00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:53,667 AND YOU LOSE YOURSELF IN THEM. I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU, OKAY? 419 00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,976 BUT IF THERE'S ANY WAY WE ARE EVER GOING TO BE A FAMILY AGAIN, 420 00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,278 YOU NEED TO PUT LIMITS ON WHAT YOU DO FOR THE SHOW. 421 00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,451 OUR FAMILY HAS TO COME FIRST, FORREST. 422 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,220 - DARLING, THE FAMILY ALWAYS COMES FIRST. 423 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,379 DON'T EVEN DOUBT IT-- - OKAY, WOULD YOU JUST STOP? 424 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:06,046 STOP DOING THE VOICE. 425 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:07,253 - 'TIS TRUE, ME BROGUE IS THICK... 426 00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,217 - STOP IT. - BUT I MEAN WHAT I SAY. 427 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:12,586 - I NEED YOU TO STOP THE VOICE. 428 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,431 - UM, IT'S A BIT OF A PUZZLER. 429 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,867 - YOU'RE NOT GONNA STOP. ALL RIGHT. 430 00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:23,771 - NO, I MEAN, I-- - OKAY, THIS IS DONE. 431 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,873 - I CAN'T STOP IT--SWEETHEART. - THIS IS DONE. I'M SORRY. 432 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,365 - I JUST--I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE, OKAY? 433 00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:28,737 WE'RE DONE. 434 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,275 AND, YEAH, JUST SO YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY, 435 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,450 THIS MAN IS FROM WISCONSIN! 436 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,549 - UH, COME ON. DON'T--NOW, LOVE-- 437 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,181 LOVE, LOVE, COME ON. - JUST GET OUT OF MY FACE! 438 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:39,086 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. - NO, FORREST, STOP! 439 00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:41,916 - SWEETHEART, DON'T-- AH. 440 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,924 HMM. 441 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,059 - MM. 442 00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:49,604 THAT WAS GREAT. WE GOT IT. 443 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,359 TERRIFIC. 444 00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:53,298 DO YOU WANT TO WRAP, OR DO YOU WANT TO PUNCH ANYBODY OUT? 445 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,373 THAT'S PRETTY IRISH. 446 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,472 - DID YOU SEE WHAT JUST HAPPENED WITH MY WIFE? 447 00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:02,065 - YOUR EX-WIFE IS A NUT JOB. 448 00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:05,040 - WHAT? 449 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:08,047 - LOOK, THE IRISH SUFFER. IT'S IN THEIR BLOOD, OKAY? 450 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,220 IT'S TRADITION. 451 00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:12,888 AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? - HMM? 452 00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,389 - YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME ABOUT THE GUY 453 00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,991 WHO WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED 454 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,832 UNTIL A LITTLE BIT OF FUNGUS TURNED INTO PENICILLIN. 455 00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:20,828 - MM. - AND THIS IRISH SEQUENCE 456 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:24,500 IS VERY CLOSE TO BECOMING PENICILLIN... 457 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:27,531 THANKS TO YOU. - IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY? 458 00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,997 - WELL, THOSE WERE YOUR WORDS, AND I THINK THEY SAY A LOT. 459 00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:40,983 - YOU KNOW, GRANT, WHEN I STARTED HERE, 460 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,753 I BELIEVED IN WHAT WE WERE DOING, 461 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:46,023 BUT NOW I'M NOT SO SURE. 462 00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,262 BUT THERE'S ONE THING I DO KNOW. 463 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:51,255 YOU'RE THE BIGGEST JAG-OFF I'VE EVER WORKED FOR, 464 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:54,258 AND I HOPE THIS PLACE BURNS TO THE GROUND WITH YOU IN IT, 465 00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,261 'CAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESERVE, 466 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:59,673 YOU NICKEL-AND-DIME CHICKEN[bleep] MOTHER[bleep]! 467 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,339 [normal voice] YOU CALL YOURSELF A PRODUCER? 468 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,869 YOU COULDN'T PRODUCE A HAM SANDWICH! 469 00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,274 NOW I AM WALKING OUT THAT DOOR, 470 00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,036 AND I AM NEVER COMING BACK, 471 00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:09,914 NOT IF YOU BEG ME! I QUIT! 472 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,912 [all cheering] - YEAH! 473 00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,884 - AND ONE MORE THING! 474 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:18,617 all: OH! [cheering] 475 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,391 - CATCH HIM. DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY! 476 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,720 FORREST! 477 00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,764 DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY. DO YOU HAVE HIM? 478 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,529 - SUZANNE! 479 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,302 SUZANNE! 480 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,972 SUZANNE! 481 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:39,541 - OKAY, WEIRDLY ENOUGH, FORREST HAS ACTUALLY NOT BEEN SEEN 482 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:42,612 BY ANYONE HERE AT THE SHOW SINCE THAT NIGHT, 483 00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:45,982 SO IT SEEMS LIKE HE REALLY DID QUIT FOR REAL, 484 00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:49,552 WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY VERY UNPROFESSIONAL. 485 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,552 BEING IRISH, HOWEVER, SEEMED LIKE A TON OF FUN, 486 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:56,855 SO I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND GIVE THAT THE OLD FIVE STARS. 487 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,355 THAT'S ALL THE TIME THAT WE HAVE FOR TONIGHT. 488 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:05,774 I'M A.J. GIBBS, AMERICA, AND YOUR LIFE IS MY LIFE. 35929

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