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1
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:10,537
- LIFE, IT'S LITERALLY
ALL WE HAVE,
2
00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:12,208
BUT IS IT ANY GOOD?
3
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,376
I'M A REVIEWER,
4
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:14,484
BUT I DON'T REVIEW FOOD,
5
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,945
BOOKS, OR MOVIES.
6
00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:18,053
I REVIEW LIFE ITSELF.
7
00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:21,086
VIVA LA REVOLUCION!
8
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:25,191
[screams]
9
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,603
WELCOME TO REVIEW.
I'M FORREST MACNEIL.
10
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:37,965
AS USUAL, I'LL BE REVIEWING
WHATEVER EXPERIENCES YOU SEND IN
11
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:41,405
THAT ARE, IN TURN, HANDED OFF
TO ME BY MISS A.J. GIBBS.
12
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,142
- LET'S DO IT.
13
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:46,977
OUR NEXT EMAIL COMES TO US FROM
CHARLES IN FRANKLIN, TENNESSEE.
14
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:49,654
HE WRITES...
15
00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,962
- OH, BOY.
16
00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:02,258
WHAT'S IT LIKE
TO HAVE ROAD RAGE?
17
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:05,226
[growls]
18
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,396
MOTHER[bleep]!
19
00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:10,365
I HAD ALWAYS FOUND DRIVING
VERY RELAXING,
20
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,014
BUT I WOULD HAVE TO FIND A WAY
TO LET OTHER PEOPLE'S DRIVING
21
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,840
DRIVE ME INTO A FULL-ON RAGE.
22
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,776
GET OUT OF MY [bleep] WAY.
23
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:21,051
I GASSED UP AND WENT SEARCHING
FOR AUTOMOTIVE OUTRAGES.
24
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:23,419
OKAY, THE TRAFFIC IS REALLY
HEAVY OVER THERE,
25
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:24,921
SO IT WOULD BE GOOD
TO GET INTO THAT,
26
00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:25,952
AND THEN THERE'LL
BE REALLY SOME THINGS
27
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:27,256
TO GET MAD ABOUT.
28
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:28,518
DENSE TRAFFIC.
29
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,186
OH, GREAT.
30
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:32,734
I'M STUCK BEHIND A [bleep]--
WHAT IS THAT, A TRACTOR?
31
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,560
DON'T DRIVE A TRACTOR
ON THE STREET IN TRAFFIC.
32
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,266
JUST SO I'M CLEAR,
IT'S NOT ILLEGAL
33
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,629
TO GIVE SOMEONE
THE FINGER, RIGHT?
34
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,438
BECAUSE I'M THINKING OF GIVING
SOMEONE THE FINGER.
35
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:43,940
BUT IT'S NOT ILLEGAL, RIGHT?
36
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:44,941
YOU DON'T GET ARRESTED
FOR THAT, DO YOU?
37
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:45,942
- NO.
38
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:47,183
- HURRY UP, GRANDMA!
39
00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:48,205
[horn honks]
40
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:49,412
THEY'VE BEEN DOING CONSTRUCTION
41
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,953
ON THIS STREET FOR FOUR MONTHS!
42
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,609
ENOUGH!
43
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,777
I MEAN IT'S AN IMPORTANT
DRAINAGE PROJECT,
44
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:59,486
I UNDERSTAND THAT,
BUT IT'S INFURIATING.
45
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,190
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M REALLY
FEELING ALL THE ANGER
46
00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:05,793
I NEED TO HERE,
BUT I'LL TRY AGAIN.
47
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,826
I SAW PLENTY OF CARELESSNESS,
48
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:10,201
BUT NONE OF IT WAS HARMFUL
TO ME, PERSONALLY,
49
00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:12,398
UNTIL, FINALLY, I GOT LUCKY.
50
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,003
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
51
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,074
THIS GUY'S PASSING ME
ON A TWO-LANE STREET.
52
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,473
[horn honks]
HEY, JACK-WHACK.
53
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,365
THAT'S FOR YOU,
THE MIDDLE FINGER!
54
00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:20,407
EAT IT!
55
00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:22,041
OH.
OH, OKAY.
56
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:24,245
HERE WE GO.
IT IS ON.
57
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:27,218
COME WITH ME.
ROAD RAGE IN ACTION.
58
00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:30,345
HEY, YOU DON'T PASS SOMEBODY
ON A TWO-LANE STREET!
59
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,594
THAT'S NOT SAFE.
60
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:34,089
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
OH, AH, NO, NEVER MIND.
61
00:02:34,121 --> 00:02:35,391
IT'S FINE.
I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY,
62
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,563
I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
63
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:37,560
I JUST DIDN'T THINK IT WAS SAFE
64
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:40,231
TO GO ON A--PASS--OH.
65
00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:41,258
HEY, EXCUSE ME.
66
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:42,595
UH, WAIT A MINUTE.
67
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,230
PLEASE DON'T GET IN MY CAR.
68
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,895
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
69
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,943
WHERE YOU GOING?
70
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:56,341
PLEASE COME BACK!
71
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:59,547
THE COWARDS WHO DROVE OFF IN
MY CAR ROBBED ME OF THE CHANCE
72
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,680
TO EXPERIENCE A TRUE ROAD RAGE
CONFRONTATION.
73
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,846
TO DO THAT NOW, HOWEVER,
I WOULD NEED ANOTHER CAR.
74
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:09,116
- NO WAY.
NOBODY TOUCHES MY WHEELS.
75
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,156
- PLEASE, JUST FOR TODAY.
- FORGET IT.
76
00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:15,029
THE LAST GUY I LOANED MY CAR TO
TURNED OUT TO BE A SEAT SNIFFER.
77
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,102
THERE WERE PICTURES OF MY SEAT
ALL OVER THE INTERNET.
78
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,670
- NO.
- YEAH.
79
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,769
- GOD.
80
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,371
WELL, YOU KNOW
I'M NOT A SEAT SNIFFER.
81
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,944
- NO.
I DON'T KNOW THAT.
82
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:28,812
FYI, I LOCK MY OFFICE CHAIR
UP AT NIGHT,
83
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:32,112
SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
84
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:36,175
- MY SECRETARY HAD GONE INSANE,
BUT MY INTERN CAME THROUGH.
85
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:38,354
HIS ONLY CONDITION WAS
THAT I GIVE HIM A LIFT
86
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:41,386
TO DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT
AT A MARIJUANA DISPENSARY.
87
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,692
I WASN'T IN A POSITION TO ARGUE.
88
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,994
- OH, DON'T TAKE THE DUCT TAPE
OFF THE STEERING COLUMN
89
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,496
OR THE STEERING WHEEL
WILL COME OFF IN YOUR HANDS.
90
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:49,859
- REALLY?
- YEP.
91
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:50,857
- DOES THE HORN WORK?
92
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:51,998
[horn honks]
GOOD.
93
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:53,372
- I JUST BOUGHT NEW BELTS
94
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,841
AND GOT OIL FOR IT.
95
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,168
- YOU JUST PUT A BUNCH
OF MONEY INTO THIS CAR?
96
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:57,473
- YEAH.
- REALLY?
97
00:03:57,505 --> 00:03:58,705
YOU THOUGHT
THAT WAS A GOOD THING
98
00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,809
TO DO WITH YOUR MONEY?
- TOTALLY.
99
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,440
HEY, ISN'T THAT YOUR WIFE?
100
00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:04,106
- THAT IS MY WIFE.
101
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,814
- WHO'S THAT GUY SHE'S WITH?
102
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,446
- I DO NOT KNOW.
103
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:12,792
THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION.
104
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:18,060
OH, THAT'S HER DIVORCE ATTORNEY.
105
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,591
- WHY DO YOU STILL NEED
A DIVORCE LAWYER,
106
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:22,757
LIKE, AFTER YOUR DIVORCE
IS DONE?
107
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:26,326
- I DON'T KNOW.
108
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:29,474
- WHAT IF SHE WAS [bleep] HIM?
[laughs]
109
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:31,173
THEN THEIR PROFESSIONAL
RELATIONSHIP
110
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:37,084
WOULD BE A BLOW-FESSIONAL
FELLA-TIONSHIP.
111
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,580
- THAT'S ONE OF THE MOST
DISGUSTING THINGS
112
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:39,852
I'VE EVER HEARD.
113
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:40,850
- THAT'S, LIKE,
THE FUNNIEST THING
114
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:41,851
I'VE EVER SAID.
115
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,082
- WELL, IT'S DISGUSTING.
116
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,076
PLEASE DON'T SAY IT AGAIN.
117
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,187
- SORRY.
118
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,990
- BOY, THEY REALLY ARE
LAUGHING A LOT.
119
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,522
- YEAH, THEY'RE PROBABLY
LAUGHING ABOUT
120
00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:55,198
HOW GIGANTIC HIS DICK IS.
[laughs]
121
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:02,396
- OH, MY GOD.
122
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:07,376
SHE IS [bleep] HER LAWYER.
123
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:11,505
- OH, OKAY, THIS BUSINESS LUNCH
JUST BECAME A JIZZ-NESS MUNCH.
124
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:12,545
- SHUT UP!
125
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,793
- I KNEW SOMETHING
WAS HAPPENING WITH THEM
126
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,188
THE FIRST TIME I SAW
THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER.
127
00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,419
SHE IS [bleep]
HER DIVORCE ATTORNEY!
128
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,164
- ARE YOU OKAY?
- NO!
129
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:25,489
I NOW UNDERSTOOD THAT ROAD RAGE
IS JUST LIKE REGULAR RAGE,
130
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,696
EXCEPT THAT IT
USUALLY HAPPENS IN A CAR.
131
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:31,198
IT MUST COME FROM WITHIN
AND I HAD PLENTY OF IT NOW.
132
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:33,301
I ASKED MY INTERN
TO THROW MORE LOGS
133
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:35,271
ON THE RAGING FIRE IN MY HEART.
134
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:38,512
SAY MORE INAPPROPRIATE THINGS
ABOUT THEIR SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP.
135
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,639
- I DON'T WANT TO--
- TALK ABOUT THE [bleep] JOBS
136
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,144
AND THE [bleep].
DO IT!
137
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,805
- OKAY, WELL,
THEY JUST GOT TOGETHER, SO...
138
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,414
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
- THEY'RE PROBABLY TRYING STUFF
139
00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:46,853
THE TWO OF YOU WEREN'T
COMFORTABLE DOING.
140
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,450
LIKE, HE'S PUTTING
LEGAL STUFF IN HER BUTT.
141
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,223
AND HE'S LAYING HER
ON THE GROUND
142
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,721
AND THEN PICKING HER UP
BY HER BOOBS.
143
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,123
- KEEP GOING!
144
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,164
- THERE'S, LIKE,
PICTURES OF YOUR KIDS.
145
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,959
HE'S MAKING EYE CONTACT
WITH THE PHOTOS
146
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,891
WHILE HE [bleep] HER
IN THE BUTT.
147
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:05,627
- [screams]
[horn honks]
148
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:08,266
OH, WHAT THE--THAT SON
OF A BITCH JUST CUT ME OFF!
149
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,941
HEY, [bleep] YOU,
YOU PIECE OF [bleep]!
150
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,610
[tires screech]
[bleep] YOU!
151
00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:14,239
- OH, THIS IS AMAZING.
152
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,614
- OKAY, THIS [bleep] IS ON.
153
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,084
YOU JUST [bleep]
WITH THE WRONG GUY.
154
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,611
WHAT THE [bleep]
IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
155
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:20,947
- I'VE GOT YOUR BACK,
MR. MACNEIL.
156
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,321
- I'M TRYING TO
[bleep] DRIVE, HERE!
157
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:23,449
YOU BLOW THROUGH
THAT STOP SIGN LIKE THAT!
158
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:24,751
DON'T [bleep] DO THAT TO PEOPLE!
159
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:25,985
YOU GOT A STOP SIGN,
160
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,459
YOU STOP AT THE [bleep]
WHITE LINE!
161
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,218
- MR. MACNEIL!
- OH, YEAH.
162
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:31,086
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
OKAY.
163
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,294
HEY, [bleep], IT LOOKS LIKE
SOMETHING HAPPENED
164
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,756
TO YOUR [bleep] TAIL LIGHT!
[glass shatters]
165
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:37,796
- [laughs]
- YEAH.
166
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,001
WHAT THE [bleep] HAPPENED
167
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,302
TO YOUR SIDE-VIEW MIRROR,
[bleep]?
168
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,274
[glass shatters]
- [laughs]
169
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:44,643
- LOOKS LIKE YOUR BLIND SPOT
170
00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:46,272
JUST GOT A LITTLE BIGGER,
[bleep]-WIT.
171
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:48,136
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
172
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:50,805
- WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
173
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:53,754
YOU FORGOT ABOUT SOMETHING.
174
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:58,591
OH, YOU FORGOT ONE MORE THING.
175
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:01,589
HEY, YOU EVER BEEN
IN A SMASH-OFF?
176
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:06,062
YOU ARE NOW.
177
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:10,203
- SMASH-OFF!
[growls]
178
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,100
- NO, NO,
MR. MACNEIL! NO!
179
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,872
- [growls]
- NO, MR. MACNEIL!
180
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:16,841
- [howls]
181
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:20,940
- STOP, MR. MACNEIL!
THAT'S MY [bleep] CAR!
182
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,384
- [howls]
- PLEASE, MR. MACNEIL!
183
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:26,609
I--PLEASE!
- [grunts]
184
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:28,577
- [bleep] STOP HITTING MY CAR!
185
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:31,076
- [roars]
186
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,388
- WHAT THE HELL, MAN?
- [bleep] YOU!
187
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,689
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW,
[bleep]?
188
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,622
- I WILL END YOU!
189
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,087
- [bleep] [bleep],
GET IN THE CAR!
190
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,555
- COME ON! COME ON!
- GET IN THE CAR NOW!
191
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,903
OH, [bleep].
OH, [bleep].
192
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,259
GET IN THE CAR!
- COME ON!
193
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,767
- [bleep] [bleep]!
OH, [bleep]!
194
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,770
- GET IN, GET IN, GET IN,
GET IN, GET IN!
195
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,601
- [screams]
196
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:52,407
- OH, [bleep].
GO! GO! GO!
197
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:54,579
- WHAT IS HE DOING?
OH, GOD!
198
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,438
OH, GOD, OH, GOD, OH, GOD!
- GO, GO, GO!
199
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:57,984
- OH!
- OH, [bleep].
200
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,551
- AS YOU CAN SEE,
201
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:00,880
ROAD RAGE
IS A CONTAGIOUS DISEASE
202
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,184
AND THE RECOMMENDED TREATMENT
203
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,345
IS GETTING THE [bleep]
OUT OF HERE!
204
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:04,823
- MR. MACNEIL, HE'S BEHIND US!
205
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,292
- WHAT IS HE DOING?
WHAT IS HE DOING?
206
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,789
- HE'S GOING TO TRY TO RAM US.
207
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,162
- OH!
208
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:13,730
- I'M GONNA KILL YOU
WITH MY DICK!
209
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:16,561
- OH, MY GOD.
[horn honks]
210
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:18,174
- OH, GOD!
OH, GOD!
211
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,198
- HE WENT OVER THE EDGE!
212
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,750
- MY PRODUCER, GRANT,
IS ALWAYS ON HAND
213
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:42,157
TO ASSIST WITH UNEXPECTED
COMPLICATIONS.
214
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:46,589
IN THIS CASE, HIS INSIGHT
WAS ESPECIALLY HELPFUL.
215
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:51,627
- HE TURNED AROUND...
AND WENT THAT WAY.
216
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,620
I'M HAPPY TO DRIVE.
- OH, OKAY.
217
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,020
- I'LL SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW.
- YEP, TOMORROW.
218
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,024
- BYE, GRANT.
219
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:20,526
- BUT IT APPEARS
THAT OTHER GENTLEMAN
220
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:23,328
ALSO SAW THE FOLLY
OF ROAD RAGE
221
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,933
AND, UH...
222
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:30,296
YOU KNOW, TURNED AROUND...
AND WENT ON HOME,
223
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,867
AND THAT IS DEFINITELY
WHAT I WOULD RECOMMEND
224
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:36,176
FOR SOMEONE WHO FEELS
ROAD RAGE COMING ON.
225
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,209
- THANK GOD.
I-I THOUGHT HE DIED.
226
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,805
BECAUSE THAT SCREECHING SOUND
AND THE TIRE TRACKS
227
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:41,978
GOING RIGHT OFF THE CLIFF.
228
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,115
- NO.
NO.
229
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,121
NO.
230
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:49,993
ROAD RAGE, 1 1/2 STARS.
231
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,462
- OUR NEXT QUESTION COMES TO US
232
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:57,133
FROM GARY
IN SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA.
233
00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:59,834
- HEY, FORREST, UH, YOU KNOW
I DON'T WANT TO LIMIT MYSELF
234
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,327
TO JUST ONE LADY.
235
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,368
WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO BANG
236
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:05,012
A BUNCH OF THEM IN AN ORGY?
237
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,838
- OH, MY GOODNESS.
238
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,684
OH, NO.
[laughter]
239
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:12,179
WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE GARY
WANTS ME TO GO TO AN ORGY.
240
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,882
- IT'S OKAY.
DON'T WORRY.
241
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,484
IF YOU GET NERVOUS,
JUST DO THAT THING
242
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:18,515
WHERE YOU IMAGINE EVERYONE ELSE
IN THEIR UNDERWEAR.
243
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,051
WAIT, DON'T DO THAT.
244
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,817
BECAUSE THEN YOU'D
BE THE ONLY ONE NAKED.
245
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,915
- YEAH.
THANK YOU FOR TRYING TO HELP.
246
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:27,527
OKAY, I'M OFF TO GO HAVE SEX
WITH MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE...
247
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,160
AT ONCE.
OH, BOY.
248
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:31,396
WAS SENDING A CIVILIZED MAN INTO
AN ORGY
249
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,831
LIKE RELEASING A ZOO MONKEY
INTO THE WILD?
250
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,037
AND IF SO, WOULD HE SURVIVE?
251
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:39,539
TO FIND OUT, THIS MONKEY WOULD
NEED TO FIND HIS SEX JUNGLE.
252
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:42,382
THIS ONE'S LOCKED.
REALLY?
253
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,679
WHAT'S THE OTHER WAY OUT?
254
00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:49,453
I HAD NO IDEA HOW TO LOCATE AN
ORGY, SO I CONSULTED WITH TOM,
255
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,882
THE INTERVENTIONIST
WHO HELPED ME
256
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,518
DURING MY REVIEW OF ADDICTION.
257
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,922
HE, HIMSELF,
WAS A RECOVERING SEX ADDICT.
258
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,755
HOW ARE THINGS WITH YOUR WIFE?
259
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,630
ARE YOU GUYS
TALKING AGAIN OR WHAT?
260
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,128
- UM, NO.
261
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,330
I MEAN, I CAN'T SAY
I BLAME HER.
262
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,433
I MEAN, I [bleep]
TWO OF HER SISTERS.
263
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,425
I [bleep] HER BOSS.
264
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,337
I CAME ON HER DOG.
265
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:12,039
- YEAH, THAT ALL
SOUNDS PRETTY GROSS.
266
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:14,012
- YEAH.
- HEY, THOUGH,
267
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:18,551
I HAVE A SLIGHTLY AWKWARD THING
TO ASK YOU ABOUT.
268
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:20,648
- GO AHEAD.
269
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:23,148
- OUT OF ALL OF THE ORGIES
THAT YOU USED TO GO TO...
270
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,493
- MM-HMM?
- WHICH WOULD YOU SAY WAS, LIKE,
271
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,219
THE BEST?
272
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:31,885
- [chuckles]
OH, JEEZ, FORREST.
273
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:34,325
IT'S--YOU NOW, IT'S NOT
A GOOD IDEA FOR ME
274
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,331
TO EVEN TALK ABOUT THAT.
275
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,462
- RIGHT.
OKAY.
276
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,126
YEAH, NO, I GET THAT.
- YEAH.
277
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,665
- I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT
COCAINE, BELIEVE ME.
278
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:40,967
I DON'T WANT--
[chuckles]
279
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,401
- RIGHT, I MEAN--
280
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:43,495
- BUT I WOULD PROBABLY
TELL SOMEBODY
281
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,506
WHERE THEY COULD GET COCAINE,
282
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,968
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
283
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:50,577
A TIME AND AN ADDRESS
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
284
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,350
BUT, WITH A BIT
OF GENTLE PERSUASION,
285
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,049
TOM TOLD ME ABOUT AN ORGY
THAT HE HAD ATTENDED REGULARLY
286
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:58,092
DURING HIS YEARS AS
A COMPULSIVE HAVER OF SEX.
287
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,788
HE DESCRIBED IT
AS EXCLUSIVE, ELABORATE,
288
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:03,258
AND, IN A TURN OF PHRASE
I KNOW WILL HAUNT ME
289
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:06,490
FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS,
"TOTALLY BALL DRAINING."
290
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:09,256
"TOTALLY BALL DRAINING"?
- YES.
291
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:12,626
TOTALLY BALL DRAINING.
292
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:14,995
- FORREST?
- HMM?
293
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:19,265
- WERE YOU EXPECTING A SCROLL,
A COCK RING, AND A FANCY MASK?
294
00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:21,236
- UH, YES.
YES, I WAS.
295
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:22,244
IT'S...
[clears throat]
296
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,435
FOR MY REVIEW, OF COURSE.
297
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,317
- I USED TO WORK
FOR AN ACCOUNTANT.
298
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:32,289
HE WAS A NICE MAN.
299
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,319
- GIVE THIS PLEASE.
300
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:42,662
THIS ORGY
IS A TOP SECRET PRIVATE AFFAIR.
301
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:44,865
SO I'M GONNA LET
MY CAMERAMAN OUT HERE,
302
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,968
AND I'M AFRAID YOU, DEAR VIEWER,
303
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,940
WILL NEED TO EXPERIENCE THIS
BY STEALING FURTIVE GLANCES
304
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,470
THROUGH THE WINDOWS
LIKE A COMMON PERVERT.
305
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,484
AS I ARRIVED
AT THE SEX MANSION,
306
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,882
I WILL CONFESS
THAT I WAS TERRIFIED.
307
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,516
IT HAD DAWNED ON ME
THAT PARTICIPANTS AT AN ORGY
308
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:08,762
MIGHT BE REQUIRED TO KNOW
HOW TO FIND AND HANDLE
309
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:10,516
CERTAIN PARTS OF A LADY.
310
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,557
SCROLL HERE.
311
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:22,866
I WAS IMMEDIATELY CONFRONTED
WITH DOZENS OF NAKED PEOPLE
312
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:26,413
WRITHING AND THRUSTING IN WILD
PLEASURE ALL OVER THE HOUSE.
313
00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:29,239
IT SEEMED TO ME
LIKE A VISION OF HELL.
314
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,276
BUT THERE WAS NO
TURNING BACK NOW.
315
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,885
[grunting and moaning]
316
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:41,615
- DESPITE MY EXTREME DISCOMFORT
WITH CASUAL SEX,
317
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:45,434
I WAS DETERMINED
TO GET INTO THE MIX.
318
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,458
AFTER ABOUT AN HOUR,
I CAME TO ACCEPT
319
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:50,964
THAT I WOULD NEED
TO REMOVE MY CLOTHING.
320
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:54,968
BUT EVEN THAT DID LITTLE
TO AROUSE ME OR ANYONE ELSE.
321
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:59,372
THE IRONWORK
ON THIS STAIRCASE IS...
322
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,906
REMARKABLE.
323
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,912
HEY, LISTEN,
I THINK WE NEED TO DECIDE
324
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:06,451
WHETHER THIS IS A SNACK TABLE
OR ANOTHER SEX SURFACE.
325
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:09,419
BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T
THINK IT CAN BE BOTH, YOU KNOW?
326
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,919
YOU KNOW, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
THERE IS NO PLACE
327
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:14,289
THAT I FEEL COMFORTABLE
SETTING DOWN THESE SNACKS.
328
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:18,431
IT SEEMED I WAS INCAPABLE
OF GETTING IN THE SPIRIT.
329
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:21,928
BUT THEN I MET
THE KING OF THE ORGY.
330
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:25,229
- THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME
AT AN ORGY, YES?
331
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:28,795
- YOU KNOW--YES, ACTUALLY.
332
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,195
THAT'S RIGHT, YES, TH--YEP.
333
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:31,597
THIS IS MY FIRST ORGY.
334
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:34,568
- YOU MUST EMBRACE
THE POWER OF THE MASK
335
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:39,947
TO TRANSFORM YOU FROM WHOEVER
YOU ARE OUT THERE,
336
00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:44,817
INTO A GLORIOUS [bleep] BEAST
337
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:48,221
WHO IS BORN
WHEN YOU WALK IN HERE,
338
00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:52,825
AND WHO DIES WHEN YOUR BALLS
ARE FULLY DRAINED.
339
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:55,799
- THAT WAS THE ATTITUDE
ADJUSTMENT I'D NEEDED.
340
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:57,758
I THINK I CAN DO THAT.
I CAN BE A [bleep] BEAST.
341
00:14:57,797 --> 00:15:01,367
I WAS FREED FROM FORREST
MACNEIL'S SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS
342
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,671
AND HIS FEARS OF BEING PERFECTLY
AVERAGE IN THE PENIS DEPARTMENT.
343
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:08,014
WHO WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME?
344
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,641
[shrill yelp]
345
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,506
LET'S KEEP THIS FELLA-TIONSHIP
346
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,314
STRICTLY BLOW-FESSIONAL.
347
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,016
I'M ASKING FOR ORAL SEX.
348
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,518
THE BARRIERS
I HAD PUT UP BETWEEN MYSELF
349
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:20,320
AND WILD SEXUAL ABANDON
WERE WASHED AWAY
350
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,493
IN A TIDAL WAVE OF PLEASURE.
351
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,162
AND I HAVE TO SAY,
352
00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:26,231
IT WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST
[bleep] NIGHTS OF MY LIFE.
353
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,999
I'M A [bleep] BEAST!
354
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:35,044
BUT MY NIGHT AT THE MANSION
HAD CHANGED ME.
355
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,671
TOM...HEY.
356
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,337
- HOW'S IT GOING?
- GOOD.
357
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,775
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. REAL GOOD.
358
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,380
HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD, GOOD. DOING WELL.
359
00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:49,853
- SO, UH,
THE THING WORKED OUT FRIDAY?
360
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:53,692
- OH, MY, YES, IT DID.
- OH, YEAH?
361
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,020
- I JUST WANT TO SAY, THANK YOU
SO MUCH FOR THE HOOKUP THERE.
362
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:58,364
OH, MY GOD.
363
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,131
THAT WAS AN UNFORGETTABLE
EXPERIENCE.
364
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,030
EVERYWHERE I LOOKED THERE WERE
THESE BIG BEAUTIFUL BREASTS
365
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,930
WITH PERT, PINK LITTLE NIPPLES
366
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:08,202
AND FIRM, PULCHRITUDINOUS
BUTTOCKS
367
00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:11,035
AND SOFT, INVITING LABIA MAJORA.
368
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,038
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
369
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,839
CAN WE--CAN WE CHANGE THE TOPIC?
370
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:17,314
- YEAH.
- LET'S TALK ABOUT
371
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:18,384
SOMETHING ELSE.
- OF COURSE.
372
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:19,381
I'M SO SORRY.
373
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,712
- NO, NO, DON'T BE.
374
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:21,707
- YES. OH, NO.
- DON'T BE.
375
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:22,718
I BROUGHT IT UP.
376
00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:23,719
- YEAH, YOU DID BRING IT UP.
377
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,050
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
378
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,045
- ANYWAY, REMEMBER
THAT COOKING CLASS
379
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,486
I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT?
380
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,060
- YES.
- YEAH.
381
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,959
WELL, LAST NIGHT THEY TAUGHT US
HOW TO MAKE PAELLA.
382
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,329
IT'S REALLY COOL, ACTUALLY.
383
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,830
YOU NEED A SPECIAL PAN TO--
384
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,231
- HOW'D YOU LIKE
TO BURY YOUR FACE IN THAT?
385
00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:39,573
MMM.
386
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:42,639
OHH.
387
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:46,139
- NEXT WEEK, THEY'RE GONNA
TEACH US HOW TO MAKE BRISKET.
388
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,883
- WHAT THE [bleep]
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
389
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:51,478
FRIDAY NIGHT COULDN'T ARRIVE
FAST ENOUGH.
390
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,211
AFTER A WEEK WITHOUT SEX,
391
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,846
MY LOINS WERE LIKE A THIRSTY
SPICE MERCHANT,
392
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:59,992
STRANDED IN THE DESERT AND THESE
WOMEN'S VAGINAS WERE THE WATER.
393
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:02,387
THAT NIGHT I WOULD DRINK DEEPLY.
394
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,322
MY TONGUE EXPLORED.
395
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,087
MY FINGERS PROBED.
396
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:10,226
MY SWOLLEN AVERAGE-SIZED MEMBER
BECAME A HAMMER OF THE GODS.
397
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:13,633
NO FEAR, NO REGRET, NO GUILT.
398
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:15,466
AND THEN THERE WAS SOME GUILT.
399
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,672
- OH, MY GOD.
- OH, NO.
400
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,244
- [moans]
- OH, NO.
401
00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,283
HEY. HEY!
TOM!
402
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:24,679
- OH, YOU.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
403
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,451
- YOU KNOW, JOYLESSLY
AND COMPULSIVELY
404
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,119
[bleep] EVERYTHING I CAN.
405
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:30,175
- TOM, NO.
YOU GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.
406
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,817
TOM, YOU'RE A SEX ADDICT.
407
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,121
THIS IS A RELAPSE.
408
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,153
YOU HAVE TO
GET OUT OF HERE, NOW.
409
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,457
- SIR, IS THERE A PROBLEM?
410
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,819
- YES, THERE IS A PROBLEM.
411
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,487
HE DOESN'T BELONG HERE!
412
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,786
[gasping]
413
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:42,627
- YOU ARE MISTAKEN, SIR.
414
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,832
WE ALL BELONG HERE.
415
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:47,334
YET, CLEARLY A DISPUTE EXISTS.
416
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:52,867
THEREFORE,
I DECLARE A [bleep]-OFF!
417
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,435
[cheers and applause]
418
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,875
all: IN, OUT, IN, OUT, IN, OUT!
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
419
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,050
WHAT IS A [bleep]-OFF?
420
00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:02,007
- IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
421
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:05,448
EACH OF YOU WILL ASSEMBLE
A FIVE-PERSON [bleep] SQUAD.
422
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,885
YOU WILL [bleep]
THE PEOPLE YOU CHOOSE
423
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,790
UNTIL ONE OF YOU
CAN'T [bleep] ANYMORE.
424
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:14,893
THE LOSER HAS TO LEAVE
MY HOUSE FOREVER,
425
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:18,597
AND THE WINNER
IS THE KING OF THE ORGY.
426
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:23,241
[cheers and applause]
427
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,640
- YOU PEOPLE ARE INSANE.
all: IN, OUT, IN, OUT, IN, OUT!
428
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,942
- I'D SAVE THAT ENERGY
FOR THE [bleep]-OFF.
429
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,416
- MY [bleep] BEAST
HAD CREATED A HORRIBLE PROBLEM,
430
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,589
AND APPARENTLY WOULD HAVE
TO SOLVE IT TOO.
431
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:41,988
IF I WANTED TOM OUT, I WAS GOING
TO HAVE TO [bleep] HIM OUT.
432
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:43,491
WOULD YOU WANT
TO BE ON MY TEAM?
433
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:46,263
OKAY.
I'M SORRY.
434
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:50,203
- [speaks French]
435
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,667
- SEX FEELS GOOD,
AND THIS WAS SEX,
436
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:54,869
BUT THE COMPETITION
WAS TURNING NASTY.
437
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,941
- YOU PICKED
TOO MANY HOTTIES, BUDDY.
438
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,269
YOU GOT TO PICK CAMELS,
NOT RACEHORSES.
439
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:00,706
- HEY!
440
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,580
- JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS
OVER THERE.
441
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:05,879
YOU PICK ONE WHO LOOKS LIKE
YOUR EX-WIFE ON PURPOSE?
442
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,412
- SHUT UP.
443
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,077
- SHE DOES LOOK JUST LIKE HER,
DOESN'T SHE?
444
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:11,575
- WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN
COOKING CLASS TONIGHT, TOM, HUH?
445
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,688
AS I ROTATED THROUGH
MY [bleep] SQUAD,
446
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,060
I REALIZED THAT I WAS NO BEAST.
447
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,288
I WAS JUST A MAN
AND I HAD HAD ENOUGH
448
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:23,255
OF THIS AWESOME PLEASURE HILL.
449
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:26,096
BUT I COULDN'T LEAVE
POOR TOM HERE.
450
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:29,642
NO.
I WOULD WIN THIS [bleep]-OFF.
451
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:33,569
AND FINALLY, NEARLY 30 GLORIOUS
MINUTES OF UNINTERRUPTED HUMPING
452
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:36,276
PROVED TO BE TOO MUCH FOR
TOM'S WEARY [bleep] MUSCLES.
453
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,709
- OW, CRAMP, CRAMP, CRAMP!
- YEAH!
454
00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:40,775
[cheers and applause]
455
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,253
OR HAD TOM'S GUARDIAN ANGEL
456
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,382
TAKEN THE FORM OF ME
WITHOUT MY UNDERWEAR?
457
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,417
WHO KNOWS?
458
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:52,830
- BRAVO.
459
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,599
- THANK YOU.
460
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:58,268
THANK YOU AND THANK YOU SO MUCH
TO MY [bleep] SQUAD.
461
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:01,268
I COULD NOT HAVE DONE IT
WITHOUT YOU GUYS.
462
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:06,138
AS YOUR NEW KING, I HEREBY
DECREE THAT THE SEX BETWEEN US
463
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:09,242
WILL NO LONGER BE ANONYMOUS.
464
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:12,246
LET'S TAKE OFF THESE MASKS,
YOU GUYS.
465
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,679
WE DON'T NEED 'EM.
- HE'S HIDEOUS.
466
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,454
- COME ON.
WHO KNOWS?
467
00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:18,623
MAYBE SOME OF US WILL FIND
REAL LOVE HERE,
468
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,421
INSTEAD OF JUST SEX.
469
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:21,793
[distant moaning]
470
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,821
[door slams]
471
00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:30,033
- HEY, OUR FRIENDSHIP IS OFF,
472
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,602
BECAUSE YOU'RE A JERK!
473
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:35,032
SCREW YOU, FORREST MACNEIL!
474
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:39,667
- OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.
475
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,106
- FIRST OF ALL, GROSS.
476
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:42,380
AND SECOND OF ALL,
477
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,779
WHAT DID YOU TAKE AWAY
FROM THAT ORGY?
478
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:47,611
- TWO THINGS: A DRUG-RESISTANT
FORM OF GONORRHEA
479
00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:49,277
AND AN IMPORTANT REALIZATION.
480
00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:51,476
YOU SEE, I WAS DELIGHTED
BY THE VARIETY
481
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,188
AND THE ABUNDANCE OF SEX THERE,
482
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:55,319
BUT BY THE END OF MY TIME
AS A SWINGER,
483
00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:57,355
I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT FELT MORE EMPTY.
484
00:20:57,390 --> 00:21:00,730
MY HEART, MY SOUL, OR MY BALLS?
485
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,930
GOING TO AN ORGY, TWO STARS.
486
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:16,510
[dramatic music]
487
00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:19,153
*
488
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:20,778
[aerosol can hisses]
489
00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:23,783
[muffled moaning]
490
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,816
[aerosol can hisses]
35564
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