Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

- And in reassembling your gravitator,

note that the buoyancy wheel must engage the astral dial.

If this isn't the astral dial, oh boy when I get back

to Mars will I give that factory a piece of my mind.

(door knocking)

- Could you get that Uncle Martin it's probably Mrs. Brown.

(door knocking)

(mysterious music)

(door knocking)

- Well how do you do sonny, how do you do,

is this the residence of Timothy O'Hara?

- Well he's occupied at the moment, may I help you?

I happen to be his Uncle Martin.

- Oh his Uncle Martin you say huh?

- His uncle is what I said and his uncle is what I am.

Now if there is something I can do for you sir?

- Yes well you can begin by inviting me in,

that's what you can do for me.

6,000 long miles I've come

all the way from County Mayo in Ireland.

Now you'll do me the honor of admitting

Timothy's grand-uncle Seamus, and not for any moment either.

- I don't recall any Uncle Martin.

(dramatic music)

(mysterious music)

(beeping)

(mysterious music)

(beeping)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

- Uncle Seamus, what a surprise.

- Tim, Timothy me boy.

(laughing)

Let's have a look at you.

I tell you you're a sight for sore eyes.

Look on the muscles on him will you.

You're a fine snapping lad altogether.

I tell you, I'd know an O'Hara anyplace.

May the leprechauns smile on you lad.

Look I'll tell you it was well worth me trip to America,

although it wasn't tax deductible, it was well worth it

to look upon the smiling face of me grand-nephew.

- Oh now come on Uncle Seamus, you didn't travel

all that distance just to tell me that.

- Well yes, the truth of the matter,

there was something else, but we won't go into it now.

But I couldn't go back without

visiting yourself now could I?

- Look have you had dinner?

- [Seamus] No I haven't but I,

I wouldn't be too much trouble would I?

- It's no trobule at all.

- Oh have you met my--

- Your uncle, oh yes indeed I have.

- Well I'll see what we have for dinner,

maybe I can work up an Irish stew.

- He's one of the richest men in Ireland,

you'd think he'd stay in a hotel.

- How do you think he became

one of the richest men in Ireland?

- Well there's one thing for sure,

he has great doubts about you being an O'Hara.

- That's where you're wrong Tim, there is no doubt

in his mind, he's positive I'm not an O'Hara.

- Well maybe he won't stay too long.

Maybe there won't be a problem.

- There's already a problem, my gravitator must be repaired

within the next few hours or your earth's atmosphere

will corrode the delicate mechanism, remember?

- Holy smokes you can't do that with him around.

- Well I'll wait until he falls asleep.

(snoring)

- Who said that, who?

(ominous music)

Somebody is here until later, huh?

(ominous music)

Now who left the light on?

It's a shocking waste of electricity altogether.

(ominous music)

Come here bucko.

- What is the meaning of this let go of me.

- Oh no I won't I knew you weren't what you said you were.

- What are you doing?

- Come on now, come with me.

- [Martin] Let go of me.

- [Seamus] I knew you weren't what you said you were.

- Uncle Seamus.

- Get this Gaelic octopus to let go of me.

- Uncle Seamus, please, let go of him.

- I'm not going to hurt him,

but I do have to hold onto him you know.

I told you there was something strange about this fella Tim.

- What do you mean?

- Him and his tricks, making things float through the air.

Don't you know what you've been living in the presence of?

- Suppose you tell us what Tim

has been living in the presence of.

- Now now now who else could do the things

you've been doing but a leprechaun?

- A leprechaun?

- A leprechaun?

- Certainly.

I even saw his feelers.

- Well.

Oh faith I'm a goner, I guess you're onto me secret.

Alright I'll admit, you caught me with me brogue down.

- Well in that case I think I can let go of you.

And you know to think I was almost going to

stop believing in such things as you.

- Do you mean you've been passing yourself off as my uncle

and all this time you've been one of those little people?

- Certainly yes, isn't it, well come to think of it

you know he's not so little at that is he?

- Oh well.

(stuttering)

- You see uncle Seamus, it's the climate.

Yes, California, everything grows bigger here.

- Exactly, but Uncle Seamus, surely even though

you've guessed who I am, you must tell no one.

It could lead to certain difficulties.

- I wouldn't do a thing like that, it's against the rules.

No no no, you see if an outsider finds out that I've

caught him, he loses power and I lose me big chance.

- Chance for what?

- Tim.

Timmy boy, you don't know your leprechology.

The chance for me wish.

(mysterious music)

All these years I've had this wish aching in me heart

for this one, well wait a minute

I'll go and get her picture for you.

- You're talking about Eileen McGinty?

- He knows Tim, Tim he knows.

- I'll get it for you.

(mysterious music)

- Did you see that Tim?

Did you?

- She's a doll.

- Yes, a doll she was indeed.

But I was a proud man, of course she was proud too.

We had a falling out and she upped and left me

and went off to America.

I searched high and low for her but in vain.

I knew that only a miracle could find her again.

But I'm beginning to believe that miracle has happened now.

- Meaning me?

- Yes.

Could you?

Would you Mr. Leprechaun?

- Well faith now.

I'm not sure that--

- Oh please, please you don't know

how empty my life has been.

I was a foolish man and it's taken me

25 years to get over that foolish pride.

Oh sure I'm rich, but I'm still

a poor man without Eileen by me side.

- Well Uncle Seamus, don't count on it.

I mean there's only so much a leprechaun can do.

- Is what I'm asking then that impossible?

- Well of course it is.

For anyone but a leprechaun.

- Would you, will you please?

- That is if you could provide me with some kind of a clue?

Preferably something that had belonged to Eileen.

- She never answered my letters.

All I have is a letter from Los Angeles

she sent to her sister.

- That might do.

- I'll go fetch it, I will, right now.

- Are you sure you can pull off this leprechaun bit?

I mean isn't that sticking your neck out?

- Tim, there are times when if you stick your neck out

for someone who needs it,

you find you can hold your head a little higher.

(soft music)

- Well let's hope it doesn't get chopped off.

(upbeat music)

- Well here we are, 2299 Cloverdale.

But I still don't know how you know she's here.

- [Martin] I ran the letter Seamus

gave me through the electronic geographical locator

on my ship, she's here alright Tim.

- Well if you say so, now what?

- [Martin] You take the car down the street and wait

while I find out if our quarry also believes in leprechauns.

(mysterious music)

- How did that happen?

- [Martin] Tis I having a little joke Eileen.

- Who's there?

(mysterious music)

Saints preserve us, who that me name?

- [Martin] I did.

- Who's I did?

- [Martin] A leprechaun.

- Oh a leprechaun.

Get along with you, there's no such things.

- [Martin] Ah no such thing eh?

(mysterious music)

- Heavenly days.

- No such thing eh?

(upbeat music)

- It's a leprechaun.

And what'll you be wanting with me?

- Tis a very special mission that I've come on

for one Seamus O'Hara.

- Seamus O'Hara.

- Tis the wish of Seamus O'Hara that I find you.

- Oh dear, oh dear.

- Isn't it your wish to be found?

- Oh well,

no.

- No?

- I've got to get on with me work,

the mister and missus will be coming back tonight.

- Ah but wait.

That's easily taken care of.

(ominous music)

(gasping)

There now all done, or was that just an excuse?

- Now see here, about that Seamus O'Hara of yours.

I loved him with all me heart but he broke it

and I'll not let him do it again, leprechaun or no.

So good day to you, and thank you for cleaning up me room.

- Do I sense that you had a rival for Seamus's love?

- The truth be known.

- Well now tis understandable

that you don't want to be hurt again.

So suppose we give you a fighting

chance against any other rival?

Hold still.

(mysterious music)

- What are you doing to me?

Here now, what's happening to me?

(mysterious music)

Me hair.

(mysterious music)

Oh my goodness.

(mysterious music)

It's the madam's dress.

- I'm sure she wouldn't mind.

- What's going on?

- I'm sure she wouldn't object.

- Oh, what's going on?

Oh what are you doing to me?

My gracious.

Oh for goodness sakes, what are you doing to me?

- Now if Seamus doesn't choose you

over any other woman I'll marry you meself.

- What other woman?

- Your rival whoever she is?

- Well me rival never was a she, it was an it.

- An it?

- It was money.

- Money.

- Money.

I loved him and I was willing to put up with a lot.

But when a girl buys her dress and her trestle,

and she's all set for a June wedding,

and her groom comes to her and says

he's putting off the wedding until the following January

so they can get full bank interest on her dowery.

Well that ended it right there.

- But Eileen, the man is not the same now.

At least talk to him.

- And have him come marching in here seeing what I am.

Him and his fancy spats and his diamonds and his shiny shoes

flaunting his riches in me face and calling me

a spendthrift and saying, "I told you so."

Well, much as I love him I couldn't bear that.

- Oh but he wouldn't say that.

He needs you.

- He needs his money,

and I hope the two of them will be very happy.

So now if you'll--

(mysterious music)

Oh.

Where did you go?

Where did you go?

(mysterious music)

- I heard the whole thing Uncle Martin.

- Well I don't care what you heard.

That woman's lonely and she needs him.

- But she won't see him.

- Well she won't see the rich Seamus O'Hara,

but suppose we send her one she will see.

(soft music)

- Uncle Martin I don't understand.

Why did you give Uncle Seamus Eileen's address.

One look at him dressed like that,

diamond stickpin and all, bragging about his riches,

she'll throw him right out.

- I'm fully aware of that Tim.

Have a little patience and watch.

(ominous music)

(muttering)

- And in me best Sunday suit.

- I hate to be obvious.

- Be obvious.

(ominous music)

- Ice cream on me hat?

(muttering)

This is, this is no way to be calling on a lady.

- Uh oh he's about to leave.

I'd better throw up a force field.

(ominous music)

- Yes what is it me poor man?

(soft music)

- Eileen?

Eileen McGinty?

- One and the same.

- Oh what a fine handsome woman you are Eileen.

Don't you know me?

- Well no how would I be--

Oh saints preserves, oh no it can't be.

Seamus?

Seamus O'Hara?

- Yes, yes, to be sure I...

Well aren't you going to invite me in?

- Yes, yes of course, come in, come in.

But how could you be Seamus O'Hara?

- Gosh that's easy woman, I was born that way.

- But telling me in your letters you was rich as Croesus.

You mean to say that, oh Seamus did you have to be so proud

giving me to be, oh you must be hungry you poor foolish man,

I'll go get you a cup of tea and some cakes.

- No, no, no, Eileen, I think you misunderstand.

You see I, tea and cakes did you say?

Oh I'd love that, I would.

- Why don't you sit down and I'll be right back.

- Thank you, thank you love.

- Oh you know this isn't what I expected at all Eileen.

I had no idea you was such a fine lady.

- How about that, he thinks she's rich.

Well that can't do any harm.

- I'm not so sure, this may be getting out of hand.

(upbeat music)

- Well Eileen, I must say you've done yourself proud.

- Well perhaps I should explain.

- Oh no love, I'm afraid tis I that must

do the little explanations here.

You see I didn't mean to come--

- Oh I know, look at your poor coat.

The sleeves want mending, you just take it off

and it'll only take me two shakes to mend it.

- Alright.

You know Eileen, seeing you again like this makes me

sure I was so right in waiting and

searching for you all these long years.

I missed you Eileen, I've missed you so much.

- And I've been missing you too Seamus.

- Did you love, did you?

- You're so different from what you used to be.

- Then you'll accept me and come back

to Ireland as me wife will you?

Oh I know I don't look like--

- Oh it's alright, it's alright, of course I accept you.

But first, I've got to explain to you--

Oh.

I dropped your notebooks.

- Oh no they're, oh...

- Bank books.

- That's what I was trying to tell you love,

you see I do have a little money saved.

- A little money, 100,000 pounds.

And 80,000 pounds.

And 300,000 pounds.

- It's me business love.

- Monkey business is what it is.

Well you haven't changed a bit.

Oh look at you, a rich man, and your too cheap

to buy a decent suit of clothes.

- Oh no, no, you don't understand.

- Fooling me like that, playing on me sympathies

with your pockets full of gold.

Oh you haven't changed.

- Well it was your mistake, I came here to throw me riches

at your feet and to take you away from this life of poverty.

- Poverty is it?

Well do I look like I'm living in poverty?

I've got all I want.

- Yes well I can see that now yes.

You're a lady of quality yes.

- There's a lighter on the table.

And you're darn tooting I'm a lady of quality.

- What's this?

What's this?

"To my darling George on our 15th wedding anniversary."

Who's George.

- George?

- G-E-O-R-G-E.

Are you married?

- Well here it comes, I should say there it goes.

- And who are these people huh?

- A lady of quality doesn't have to be a property owner.

What I'm trying to tell you is,

this isn't my house.

- This isn't your house?

Then in the name of all this what are you doing in it?

- Well, I'm a lady of quality

who's the maid.

- The maid?

- I knew what you were thinking all along.

You was thinking "Eileen McGinty

"you're nothing but a spendthrift, and a spendthrift

"always ends up like this, with nothing."

- I wasn't thinking that at all,

I was merely trying to get over that maid business,

but if you are a spendthrift--

- Spendthrift?

- That's what I said spendthrift.

- [Eileen] Oh now how would a tight wad know a spendthrift?

- Oh a tight wad is it just because I don't go be

throwing me money away like the likes of you you know.

- The only way you'd be throwing your money away

if it was attached to a rubber band.

- Oh you're hopeless, hopeless you know.

You haven't changed one single solitary iota.

- Well maybe I haven't, but I think you've gotten worse.

- Where's me hat?

- Oh I'll get it for you fast.

I know you wouldn't leave without it.

- Stop.

- Tis himself.

- Be still the both of you.

- Did you hear what he said?

- Well you haven't heard half of what she said to me.

- My assignment was to bring you two together.

For preventing a leprechaun from fulfilling his mission,

and violating the minimum basic contract between

your people and the little people, you two will

never be permitted to speak or see each other again.

- But surely, we only had a friendly little spat.

Never to see each other again?

- Since it was your wish Seamus O'Hara,

the only way you can change that ruling,

according to article seven section B

is to give up something you love equally.

Your farms, your factories, your assortment

of diamond stickpins, and all your money.

Is that agreeable to you?

(dramatic music)

- Yes, yes it is.

But could I, could we just keep this one tiny little

diamond stickpin so we'll have something to live on?

- I'll have to check with headquarters.

- Oh Seamus, you mean you'd give up

all that for the likes of me.

You have changed.

- I only did it for you love.

- Yes sir.

Headquarters says if the wishee is now willing

to go with the wisher there is no penalty

at all and he may keep all his riches.

- Oh that's grand, that's lovely, now Eileen and me

can get married and she can teach me how to spend it.

Will you Eileen, will you?

- Of course I will Seamus.

- Eileen.

I always knew that you were an elegant lady.

Ah me love, me love.

(mysterious music)

- I've got to hand it to you Uncle Martin,

if you'd been a leprechaun, you would've been great.

- Not great Tim, magnificent.

(upbeat music)

- Did you ever say goodbye to two such happy people.

- Never.

Right now the young lovers should be

winging their way over Labrador.

- Yeah.

(laughing)

Imagine in this day and age two grown up people

actually believing that you were a leprechaun.

- I wouldn't laugh Tim, you believe I'm a martian.

(mysterious music)

(upbeat music)

(ominous music)