All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S02E13.To.Make.a.Rabbit.Stew-First.Catch.a.Martian.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_Subtítulos01.ENG

(spirited music)

- Come on now, Linda, stop
that, will ya, Sweetie?

(laughing) Come on, hon...

Oh, Cleo.

Oh, come on now, Cleo.

Off you go.

You're not the one I thought
you were. (audience laughs)

Go home, go home.

That's a girl.

(cheerful music)

(spirited music)

Oh, now, come on, Cleo!

Go find yourself
another rabbit, will ya?

- But I'm not a rabbit,
Tim. (audience laughs)

- Oh, Mrs. Brown.

- I'm sorry I woke you
up, but I wanted to know

if you had a date for the
masquerade party tonight?

- Tonight, it's tonight?

- Of course, it says
so right on the ticket,

"Policeman's Masquerade
Ball Tonight".

- Oh, Mrs. Brown, I'm afraid
I got my days mixed up.

I don't think I can
get a date this late.

- Oh, that's a shame.

She would've had
such a good time.

Oh, but you and Martin are
still coming to my house

for punch and fudge
brownies before we go.

That'll put us in a gay mood.

- Crazy. (audience laughs)

- You come back here.

Cleo, you come right back
down here, do you hear me?

- What's the matter, Pammie?

- Cleo ran away up
into your apartment.

- Oh?

Well, I'll get her for ya.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Cleo!

Cleo, baby, come
now, where are ya?

Cleo...

(spirited music)

Uncle Martin, have you seen
Pammie Goodwin's rabbit?

Oh, good, well where is she?

- In the kitchen.

- Oh.
- Don't go in there.

- Well, what happened?

- I was preparing my
vitamins, martian-style,

when this little beast
came hippity-hopping in.

- And?

- And I dropped
one on the floor,

and before I discovered
it, she had eaten it.

- Well, what did it do to her?

(Cleo yelping)
(audience laughs)

- Ah! (audience laughs)

- No, no, come back!
- Ah, ah, ah!

(Cleo yelping)
(audience laughs)

(spirited theme
music with beeping)

(cheerful music)

(knocking)

- Oh, hello, Pammie.

What can I do for you?

- I want my rabbit.

- Your rabbit?

- Yes, sir, my rabbit, Cleo.

She went into your house.

- Oh, um...

This rabbit, can
you describe her?

What did she look like?

- She looked like a rabbit.

- Oh, that's a fair
start. (audience laughs)

Now, uh, how big was she?

- She was just a regular-sized
rabbit, like this.

- Mm, no, no, I'm certain
that there's no rabbit

that size in our apartment.

- You big bunny, will
you get off of me!

- Excuse me, Pammie.

- [Tim] Uncle Martin!

- Cleo, that's not a carrot!

- Will you get
this cotton-picking
jackrabbit off of me?

(Cleo whining)

- He didn't mean
it that way, Cleo.

- What do you mean I
didn't mean what what way?

- You offended her when you
called her a jackrabbit.

It's the same thing as calling
a thoroughbred racehorse

a jackass.

- Well, she's big
enough for that, too!

(Cleo yelps loudly)

- Will you please
stop antagonizing her?

- Antagonizing her?

Look, she knocked me
down, jumped on top of me,

then started chewing
on the back of my neck!

Now, who is antagonizing who?

- Whom.
- Whom.

(Cleo moaning)

- It was nothing personal, Tim,

but you may have to change
your brand of hair oil.

Apparently, it has a base
of vegetable concentrate

which seems to attract rabbits.

- Well, according
to the commercials,

it's supposed to attract girls.

(Cleo yelping)

- [Pammie] Cleo,
you come back here!

- Now, stay away from Cleo.

- Don't worry.

(sneaking music)

(Cleo whimpering)

- I understand your problem,
Cleo, but for the time being,

we're all going to have to
make certain adjustments.

- Yeah, well, the first
adjustment you'd better make

is on that king-size rodent.

Do you have any idea
what Mrs. Brown would say

if she found out that
we had a six-foot rabbit

as a houseguest?

- Mrs. Brown is not our
problem at the moment.

Getting Cleo back to normal is.

- Well, Mrs. Brown is
going to be our problem.

If we don't show up
at her party tonight,

she'll be up here
wanting to know why.

Now, what are we gonna tell her?

That we couldn't find a
rabbit-sitter? (audience laughs)

(Cleo moans)
- Sh-sh-sh-sh.

The trouble with you, Tim, is
that you worry about things

that may never happen.

Now, run down to the supermarket

and get a couple of
bushels of carrots

while I see if I
can undo the damage.

- Right.

A couple of bushels of carrots?

- Cleo's appetite has
grown in direct proportion

to her size.

- Uncle Martin, uh, what happens

if you can't get
her down to normal?

- That will be an excellent
time to start worrying.

- Well, I can't wait!

I'm gonna start worrying
now. (audience laughs)

(growls)

(Cleo yelps)

"Cleo's appetite had
grown in direct proportion

"to her size."

Hm, boy, it's a darn
good thing she didn't

start off being an
elephant. (audience laughs)

- Oh, there you are, Tim.

Did Martin find
Pammie's little rabbit?

- Um, uh, no, he
didn't, Mrs. Brown.

- Oh, that's good, 'cause I
know just where to look it.

- Well, he's very
busy now, Mrs. Brown,

and, uh, I don't think
he wants to be disturbed.

- Oh, well, I'm not
gonna disturb him.

I just want to find
Pammie's rabbit.

- That'd disturb him.
(audience laughs)

(knocks)

- [Martin] Come in, Mrs. Brown.

- Well, now, you see,
Mrs. Brown, he said...

Come in?

- Oh, Martin, I was
making some coleslaw

for the party tonight, and
right in middle of the cabbage,

I remembered the pussycat.

I'll bet you anything
that's where the rabbit is.

- In the cabbage?

- (laughs) Oh, no,
silly, behind the stove.

- Well, uh, I must
confess, Lorelei,

it never occurred to
me to correlate cabbage

with a pussycat, a
rabbit and a stove.

- Well, the trouble
with you is, Martin,

that you don't
think like a rabbit.

- Nor like a pussycat.

- Well, of course not, so
it really isn't your fault.

You see, I once had
a pussycat so I know.

The little thing used
to hide behind the stove

where it was all nice
and snuggley and warm.

And that's where the rabbit is.

Pardon me.

- What did you do
with the rabbit?

(Cleo whimpering)

Quiet down, you dumb bunny,

Mrs. Brown is looking
for you behind the stove.

- She's hungry again.

She smells the cabbage.

- Cabbage?

What cabbage?

- The cabbage Lorelei has
been cutting to make coleslaw.

The scent of it is on her hands,

and it's driving
Cleo to distraction.

- Oh, well, if she
doesn't like it there,

I have a couple of other
places I'd like to drive her.

(audience laughs)

- Now, I was just
sure she'd be there.

- Yeah, well, that's the way
it goes sometimes, Mrs. Brown.

But next time we lose a rabbit,

we'll be sure and
call on you. (laughs)

- Now, now, wait a minute.

Now, wasn't this table
over here when I came in?

- Well, now, what
made you think that?

We've always had it right here.

- Yeah, we like to
keep it right next

to the cabbage, kitchen.

- Perhaps you became disoriented

when you went in the
kitchen, Lorelei.

You see, before, you
were standing there,

and the table was here.

Now, you're standing there,
and the table is here.

- Oh...

Oh, yes, well, maybe I did.

(audience laughs)

Oh, say, did you
look under the couch?

(spirited music)
(audience laughs)

No, I guess she isn't there.

Oh, now, now, Martin,
this time I'm positive

that the table was not there.

- Hm, that's very interesting.

A classic case of human
(mumbles) syndrome.

Are you familiar
with his theories of

inter-tertiary displacement?

Well, it happens
occasionally with individuals

of extremely high intelligence

that once they
become disoriented,

their sense of perspective
remains discombobulated

for an indefinite
length of time.

- Oh, really, well,
isn't that nice?

(spirited music)

I'll think about
that for a while.

And meantime, if I get anymore
ideas where Cleo might be,

I'll let you know.

Now, don't forget, eight
o'clock at my house.

I just hope I can recognize
you in your costumes.

- Yeah, well, don't
worry, Mrs. Brown.

We'll be the only two there
with a nervous twitch.

(audience laughs)

Oh, oh, down, down.

(Cleo whines)

(Cleo whining)

- You're breathing
on my antenna.

(spirited music)

Hopefully, I'm preparing an
antidote for the vitamins

you so foolishly gulped
down. (audience laughs)

(Cleo yelps)

My vitamins obviously
caused an excitation

of your thyroid
glands, and I'm hopeful

the dysprosium in the antidote
will counteract the effect

and reduce you to normal.

(Cleo muttering)

You don't have to understand
it, you just have to drink it.

(Cleo whimpering)

I don't care, Cleo, you're
gonna drink this stuff

whether or not it smells
like burnt shoe leather.

(mystical music)

Brennan, Detective Brennan
is calling on Mrs. Brown.

And he's a man who
lives, breathes,

and wallows in suspicion.

(audience laughs)

(tense music)

(doorbell rings)

- Hello, Pammie.

- Hi.

- Well, if it isn't Bill
Brennan, come on in.

Oh, did you find
your rabbit, Pammie?

- No, ma'am, Tim's
uncle kidnapped her.

- What did she say about O'Hara?

- He kidnapped her.

- Pammie thinks her rabbit
went in Tim's apartment,

and now Martin is holding
her for ransom or something.

- Oh...

- Oh, don't look so
suspicious, Bill.

You know as well
as I do that Martin

wouldn't do anything that mean.

- No, I guess he wouldn't.

(jazzy radio music)

Excuse me.

Two bushels of carrots?

- Uh, yes, as a matter of fact.

Well, you see what
happened, Detective Brennan,

is that Uncle Martin
came up with this theory

that carrot juice was
good for the eyesight,

and we're gonna try it out.

- Well, now, isn't
that a coincidence?

- Is it?

- Dr. Strochmeyer
evolved that same theory

in Vienna, 40 years
ago. (audience laughs)

- Yeah, well, it's
about time, then,

that someone got around
to proving Dr. Stro-stro--

- Strochmeyer.

- Strochmeyer's
theory, isn't it?

(audience laughs)

- If that rabbit's up in
that apartment, Pammie,

I'll get it for you.

- Uh, uh, uh, Detective
Brennan, you mean, uh,

you're going to be
going up upstairs, sir!

- Quick, quick, in the bedroom.

If Brennan sees you like that,

you'll end up
under a microscope.

(Cleo yelps)

And so will I.

Well, Mr. Brennan.

And do what mischance do I
owe this unexpected visit?

- It would probably be
classified as investigating

an over-aged
juvenile delinquent.

In the vernacular
of my profession,

I'm looking for a hot
rabbit. (audience laughs)

- Well, such fearlessness
should not go unrewarded.

- That little girl
downstairs says

her rabbit went
into your apartment.

I'm sure you wouldn't mind if
I came in and looked around.

- I most certainly would.

- Oh, you have something
you don't want me to see.

- Not at all, I simply
resent implied accusations.

- "They whose guilt within
their bosom lies imagine

every eye beholds their blame."

- Was it Ben Johnson who said,

"They that know no evil,
will suspect none."

- You don't want me to go in.

- No.

- All right.

You're within your legal rights.

But let me remind you,
there's more than one way

to skin a cat.

- Do Shakespeare and Mark Twain

write everything you say?

(laughing)

- O'Hara--
- Sh-sh-sh.

(whistles)

(audience laughs)

- Tim?
- What?

- Detective Brennan is going
to get a search warrant.

- A search warrant?

- Yeah.
- For a rabbit?

- I doubt if he can
get one before morning.

But if he does, you
and I are in the stew,

right along with Cleo.

(spirited music)

(Cleo whimpering)

(Cleo yelps)
(audience laughs)

- Well, if you must know,
I'm made up for a masquerade.

(Cleo muttering)

You most certainly
may not go with us.

You can't mingle with people.

In your present condition,

you can't even
mingle with rabbits.

(Cleo yelps)

Cleo, we are not
being inhospitable,

we are being realistic.

And I might remind you that
you haven't been exactly

a little ray of
sunshine around here.

(Cleo whimpers loudly)

Ah, shut up! (audience laughs)

- Uncle Martin, will
you take a look and see

what that rabbit
did to this plant?

After two bushels of carrots!

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought
you were through.

(Cleo yelps)

Boy, I tell you, Uncle
Martin, I can just feel

Brennan's search warrant
breathing down our necks.

If you know him, he
will be over here

at one minute after midnight.

Hey...

Uncle Martin, why
do you keep stirring

and playing with that thing?

You've been shimmering
and coddling it

and boiling it all day.

- Tim, you can't boil
a three-minute egg

in a minute and a half.

- Gee, that's what I like
about you, Uncle Martin,

ask a simple question, get
directions how to boil an egg.

(audience laughs)

(hopping music)

(audience laughs)

(Cleo whimpering)
(hopping music)

(Cleo yelping)

(spirited music)

- Mm, it's ready.

Where's Cleo?

- Well, she was here just a
minute ago, that batty bunny.

Cleo!

Cleo?

Cleo?

Cleo, where...

Uncle Martin! (thuds)

Uncle Martin, Uncle Martin,
she's outside, she's outside!

- What do you mean?

- Well, the door's
open, she's gone,

she must've gone outside!

(thuds)

- Let's hurry before that
rabbit does more damage

than a herd of locusts!

- [Tim] Cleo!

- There she is, way down there!

(audience laughs)

- (laughs) Oh, just
our imagination.

Maybe it was the little people.

- I don't care how
hungry you are,

you can't dig up the
neighbors gardens.

(audience laughs)

- Yoo-who, Martin, Tim!

Hasta la vista, cha-cha-cha.

Oh, Tim, how nice,

you got a date for the
masquerade party, after all.

- A date?

- Yes, at the very last
moment, as it were.

Uh, may I present Tim's friend,

Miss, uh, Miss Cleopatra Jones.

- How do you do, Miss
Jones, I'm Mrs. Brown.

Oh, what a darling costume.

Oh, I'll bet you're
very attractive.

Why don't you take your head
off so I can see your face?

- Oh, that's impossible,
she'd never get it back on.

What I mean is, uh,

she just got one of
those beehive hairdos.

- Oh, I see.

Well, then you just leave
your head right where it is.

Come along with me, and
I'll start introducing you.

(Cleo yelping)

- She's got a very bad cold.

- We'll be along a
little later, Lorelei.

We promised to take a
picture of Miss Jones

in her costume before the party,

and all my equipment
is upstairs.

- Oh, all right,
but hurry up now.

(spirited music)

- Uncle Martin, look, I have
been on dates with dogs,

but I am not gonna take a
rabbit to a masquerade party.

Uncle Martin.

(Cleo whimpers)
(mystical music)

- Oh, well, I must not
have secured it very well.

Oh, do you like
my costume, dear?

I think this hat is just
priceless, don't you?

- It's adorable.
(audience laughs)

- Uncle Martin...

Uncle Martin, please, tell
me it wasn't Cleo was it?

Please.

- Of course not.

I threw my voice.

- Oh.

- You come along with me, dear.

You can have your
picture taken later.

- Now, you run upstairs
and get that antidote

while I try to keep Cleo
from defoliating Lorelei.

- Oh, no, with modern methods
of criminal investigation,

it's virtually impossible to
maintain an effective disguise

for any length of time.

A trained detective can
penetrate any disguise

almost with a glance. (chuckles)

- Oh, Bill.

I'd like you to meet Tim's
date, Cleopatra Jones.

Miss Jones, this is Mr. Brennan.

- The pleasure is
mine, Miss Jones.

- Oh, she can't
take off her head

because she's got
a beehive in it.

- Oh...

Oh, there you are, O'Hara.

A few hours from now, I'll
be paying you a little visit

about another rabbit.

Would you care for
some punch, Miss Jones?

- No, thank you.
(audience laughs)

- Lorelei.

- Thank you.

(mystical music)

Now, you come along
with me, dear,

and I'll introduce you
to the other guests.

Miss Nilsson, I want
you to meet Tim's date,

Cleopatra Jones.

Oh, I do hope you like my punch.

It's a recipe handed down
from my grandmother's time,

made of cranberries,
elderberries and beets.

(audience laughs)

- Tell me, O'Hara...

(audience laughs)

- Here are your grapes.

- (stammers) What
happened to them?

- This young lady bit them off.

- Yes, it was my idea.

You see, I thought it might
be a rather clever idea

for the masquerade.

You might win first prize.

- Oh, wouldn't that be wonderful
if I did win first prize?

- Oh, would you all excuse
me for just a moment?

Tim wants to speak to Cleo.

Uh, come along, dear, let's go.

Come on, come on.

- Oh, here, I'll take those.

- Here, drink this up.

(Cleo yelps)

Cleo, you can't
stay six-feet tall.

There's no room in this
world for six-foot rabbits.

(audience laughs)

- For heaven's
sake, Uncle Martin,

will you hurry up and
get her to drink it

before somebody comes in here?

(Cleo whimpers)

- I'm sorry Pammie
has never taken you

to masquerade parties,

but there are just
certain places that
rabbits don't fit in.

- Now, listen to
me, you dumb bunny,

if you don't drink this stuff,

I can't help, but
she (stammers)...

- Just a small lovers quarrel.

(elegant party music)

- Oh, Bill, would you give
these to the girls, please?

- [Bill] Oh, delighted.

- [Lorelei] How about you,
Don, would you like some more?

- Tim, we've got to get
Cleo back in the kitchen.

Time is running out.

- Well, what's the use?

You can't get her to
drink the antidote anyway.

- Well, as Mr. Brennan so
cleverly quotes Mark Twain,

"There's more than one
way to skin a cat."

- Huh?

(mystical music)

(elegant party music)

- Well, I better make some more.

I'll be right back, Don.

- Hold it.

Would you mind
telling me something?

Where did that punch go?

- From whence it came,
back into the air,

by a process called evaporation.

- I'll have more punch
in just a moment.

- Well, may we help?

- Oh, no, thank
you, not just yet.

(mystical music)

- What are you doing?

- What Mr. Twain
said about cats,

it can also be
applied to rabbits.

(mystical music)

(approaching footsteps)

Oh, uh, Tim, did
you get a chance

to talk to Mr.
Brennan about that?

- What?

- Well, you remember...

You were thinking of
joining the police force?

- I was?

Oh, I was, yes, I was!

Detective Brennan, I don't
know if I ever told you this,

but when I was a little boy,

I always thought perhaps
I'd like to be a policeman,

or maybe even a firemen.

You see, but I didn't
really go along with it

because I thought, well,
it's sort of silly...

(mystical music)

- Oops.

- [Tim] I'd like to be
a streetcar conductor...

(mystic music)

And if I'd been a conductor,
I wouldn't have been able

to drive one, so
then I thought...

- Oh, my goodness.

(mystical music) Oh!

Excuse me.

- [Tim] So I thought, well,
then I'll become a policeman.

That's what I've always
wanted to be anyway,

and that's what I
think I'll be, yeah.

- [Bill] O'Hara?
- Hm?

- Have you any idea what
you're talking about?

- No, no, but it doesn't
really matter, ha ha.

(audience laughs)

- There, it's all ready.

Oh, Pammie's rabbit.

Well, I wonder how
she got here...

Well, don't just
stand there, Bill.

Don't you think you oughta
take Cleo back to Pammie?

Well, she's probably
been worried.

- Cleo. (audience laughs)

- I told you I'd tell you
when to start worrying,

and I never told you.
(audience laughs)

(cheerful music)

- Oh, my, what a lovely evening.

Oh, it's a shame Miss Jones
couldn't go to the ball.

- Oh, well, she was
very sorry, too,

but you know how those
sudden headaches are.

- Yes, poor thing.

Well, hasta la
vista, cha-cha-cha!

(spirited Latin music)

- Oh, hey, how about that.

You know, I got so excited
when I ran upstairs,

I grabbed your vitamin pills
and put 'em in my pocket.

(shattering)

- Say, fellas, can
I see you a minute?

You've been to a
masquerade, haven't you?

- That's right.

- Well, you know, you
gave me an awful start.

I saw that big rabbit come
out of your apartment.

You know, I live
down the street here.

My wife's been out of
town for a few days,

and I guess I got to
thinking about things,

and when I...

(spirited music)
(audience laughs)

'Night.

(spirited music)
(audience laughs)

(spirited theme music)