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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,001
[theme music playing]
2
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[dramatic music plays]
3
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:35,427
[co-pilot] Craig, pull up.
4
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,139
[Craig] Oh, sorry.
5
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,440
[tires screeching]
6
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:46,549
[tires screech]
7
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:47,980
Uh, welcome to Las Vegas
8
00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:50,024
where the local time
is two something and...
9
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,280
Whatever, we're here.
10
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:52,648
Hey, Craig,
this isn't our gate.
11
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:53,586
Yeah. Well, I gotta go.
12
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,090
I'm meeting some people.
13
00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:56,022
-Ooh.
-Oh.
14
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,156
Uh...
15
00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:58,790
[people exclaiming]
16
00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,725
We know you have
a lot of choices when flying
17
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,360
and, uh... yeah.
18
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,434
-[effort grunt]
-Captain.
19
00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:13,471
Excuse me. Pardon me.
20
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:14,807
In a hurry.
21
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:15,711
Sorry.
22
00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:20,549
[softly] Where are they?
23
00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:24,082
Where is this...
24
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,748
Oh, thank God.
25
00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:28,446
Thanks for meeting me.
I'm Craig Stevens.
26
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,658
We're the Mike Tyson
Mystery Team.
27
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:32,890
Do you need help
with your baggage?
28
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,126
No. I... I got it.
29
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,791
So, what's your mystery?
You said it was urgent.
30
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,159
Yes, it's extremely urgent.
31
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:39,097
Look, obviously,
I travel a lot,
32
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:40,302
and I'm away from my wife,
33
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,333
and it's been hard
on our marriage.
34
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:44,739
Ah, so you...stewardesses?
35
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:45,971
What? No!
36
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:47,136
I love my wife.
37
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:48,414
Oh, that's nice.
38
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,381
You titty...stewardesses or...
39
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:51,610
No!
40
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,605
Recently I started
sending, uh...
41
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,377
sexy texts to my wife,
42
00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:56,575
you know,
when I get to the hotel
43
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,646
or wherever I am,
to, you know...
44
00:01:58,685 --> 00:01:59,645
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
45
00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,316
Yeah, yeah. Sexting.
46
00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:03,054
Dick pics.
47
00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:04,489
"This is what
you're missing out on, honey."
We get it.
48
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:06,294
Yeah. So last night
I was in bed
49
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:08,556
masturbating
and filming myself...
50
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,095
As one does.
51
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,930
And I thought
I sent the video to my wife,
52
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,295
whose name is Nancy,
53
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,703
but instead
I accidentally
sent it to "Nana."
54
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:17,765
Nancy's mother.
My mother-in-law.
55
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:18,504
Uh-oh.
56
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:20,868
Did... she reply?
57
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:21,767
Yes.
58
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:24,276
What'd she say?
59
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,581
[hesitantly] Here.
I can't look at it again.
You read it.
60
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,113
Okay. Here, here.
61
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,348
I'll read it.
62
00:02:29,382 --> 00:02:30,822
Let me just, uh...
you know what,
63
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:33,520
let me just scroll back
and see what you sent.
64
00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:35,053
Oh, oh. Well, here's the video.
65
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,488
Oh, oops. I'm sorry.
66
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:38,523
I clicked it,
and, um, you know what,
67
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:40,358
I may as well
just watch to see,
68
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:42,663
you know,
there might be "clues"
69
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,996
to help with our
"investigation"
70
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:47,301
of the... "mystery" and...
71
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,074
Mmm. Okay.
72
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,642
This looks like
it's gonna be a...
73
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,970
hard mystery.
74
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,765
Mmm-hmm. A big...
75
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:54,937
hard...
76
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,305
thick mystery.
77
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,413
Gimme that.
78
00:02:57,444 --> 00:03:00,184
[scoffs] Oh, my God.
79
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:03,253
Nana wrote,
"Craig, I love your video.
80
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,583
"I love your penis.
81
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:07,418
"I want to ride
your friendly skies."
82
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,291
Then she sent a video.
83
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:10,522
Gimme that.
84
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:12,187
Oh. Well, ha-ha, look at this.
85
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:15,055
Man, she's beating that thing
like it owes her money.
86
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:17,429
So, what do I do?
87
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:18,364
I can't tell Nancy.
88
00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:19,498
She'd be devastated.
89
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,502
And I don't want to embarrass
90
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:21,503
my mother-in-law.
91
00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:22,574
Here.
92
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:25,442
[keypad clacking]
93
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,572
That should buy us some time
94
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:28,106
to come up with a plan.
95
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,471
"I like what I see.
96
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,109
"Stay tuned
for more videos."
97
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,314
Why did you write that?
98
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:34,976
What? I thought you liked her.
99
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:36,075
Sorry, man,
100
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,876
I haven't really been
paying attention.
101
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:40,247
I think I'm jet-lagged
from that long flight.
102
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:41,717
Dad, we drove here.
103
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,655
-[cell phone chimes]
-Oh, no. It's Nana again.
104
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,920
"I'm dripping
with anticipation."
105
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:48,589
Ooh! What the hell
am I gonna do?
106
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:49,888
Okay, you know what?
107
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:51,929
Let's go somewhere
where I can drink.
108
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,795
My bad, I mean,
where we can think.
109
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:56,674
You know, like a bar.
110
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,000
Here's your shot of tequila.
111
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,575
Whoo. Mmm.
112
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:10,516
Mercy!
113
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:11,620
Whoo! Okay.
114
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:12,551
Here's what you do.
115
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,815
You come clean.
116
00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:15,623
You tell Nana
that it was an accident,
117
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:16,985
that the video
wasn't meant for her,
118
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,663
"It's over,
let's put it behind us."
119
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,462
Excuse me? Excuse me.
120
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,233
Can I get one more?
It's the "Blanco."
121
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,362
I don't think
I can make that phone call.
122
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,497
Well, then just text her.
123
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:29,233
[dramatic music playing]
124
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,065
Wait, what am I writing?
125
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,437
[scoffs] Oh, my God.
126
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:37,735
Here. Okay, look.
"This was a mistake.
127
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,477
"I'm not sexually attracted
to you. It's over."
128
00:04:40,513 --> 00:04:41,583
[phone chimes]
129
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:42,714
There, see.
130
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,549
Easy peasy,
lemon squeezy.
131
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:45,954
Ooh, you know what?
132
00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:48,315
I'll have a
lemon drop
martini instead.
133
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,315
No, not instead,
in addition.
134
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,417
And some wings.
135
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,618
Oh, you know what?
...it.
136
00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:53,859
And some fries too.
137
00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:55,263
You guys will have
some fries, right?
138
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,225
[phone chimes]
139
00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:57,362
Huh? What did Nana say?
140
00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:58,757
Oh...
141
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:01,968
You texted my wife!
You sent it to Nancy!
142
00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:03,101
What? No.
143
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,296
I wrote N-A-N... Oh.
144
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,338
I see what happened.
145
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:07,913
Yeah, autocorrect's a bitch.
146
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,076
Here is the lemon drop martini,
147
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,352
and the tequila,
148
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:14,810
here're your wings,
149
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,418
and here are your fries.
150
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:18,750
Anything else?
151
00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:20,115
[whispering] Some onion rings.
152
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:23,989
[Nancy] What?
153
00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:24,893
[sobbing]
154
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:26,685
[exclaims in dismay]
155
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:27,987
No.
156
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,332
Craig, why?
157
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,204
-[dialing]
-[sobbing]
158
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,270
Mom, it's Nancy.
159
00:05:36,302 --> 00:05:37,842
Craig is leaving me!
160
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:41,271
He says he's not
attracted to me anymore.
161
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:43,067
That's terrible, dear.
162
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:45,539
Why don't we talk later
when you're more calm.
163
00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:47,748
Yes, of course
I'll tell your father.
164
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,615
Who was that?
165
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,480
It doesn't matter.
I'm leaving you, Murray.
166
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,949
What?
167
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,647
I'm in love with someone
and he's in love with me.
168
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,258
We send each other
erotic videos
169
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,390
we make of ourselves
masturbating.
170
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:01,486
Ooh! My heart!
171
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:02,958
[gasping]
172
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:03,826
[moans]
173
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,703
[effort grunt]
174
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:07,926
[groans]
175
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,067
[breathing heavily]
176
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,536
[groans]
177
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:12,300
[exhales]
178
00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:15,106
[slow instrumental music plays]
179
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,737
[Nancy sobbing]
180
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,978
[cell phone vibrates]
181
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,015
[sobbing continues]
182
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:28,650
Nancy's not picking up.
183
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:30,318
You could text her.
184
00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:32,386
I find texting
is the clearest way
to communicate.
185
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:33,885
No more texting.
186
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,587
Well, you should
at least text Nana
187
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:36,828
and tell her it was a mistake,
188
00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,103
and the video was for Nancy.
189
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,069
-Fine. [sighs]
-[keypad clicking]
190
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,935
"The video was for Nancy."
191
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:51,935
[sighs wearily]
What have I done?
192
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,608
This is your fault, Craig,
193
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:54,706
not mine.
194
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,519
[gun cocking]
195
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,820
And now you're gonna pay.
196
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,723
I gotta go home
and talk to Nancy.
197
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:03,124
We'll go with you.
198
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,256
[Craig] Why?
199
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,620
Hmm. I don't know.
200
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,088
Um... So...
201
00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:08,926
should we all
put our cards in?
202
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,402
I mean...
I didn't eat all the fries...
203
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,565
I bet Craig's bored with me.
204
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,371
I have to try harder.
205
00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:18,002
I have to be sexier.
206
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:19,765
[moans]
207
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:21,867
Hmm.
208
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,378
[romantic music plays]
209
00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:25,180
Okay.
210
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,182
Let's see if you'll be
211
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,476
sexually attracted
to me now, Craig.
212
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,089
[cell phone camera clicking]
213
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:34,990
Ohhh!
214
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,532
[cell phone beeps]
215
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,330
It's a text from Nancy.
216
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:43,462
"Sorry I didn't pick up
217
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:44,656
"but hopefully these pics
218
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:46,427
"are worth
a thousand words."
219
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,943
Oh! Thank God.
220
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,672
[sighs]
Oh, it's all gonna be okay.
221
00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:56,367
Oh, you wanna
slow down, partner.
222
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:59,509
You know, I don't think
we got to see all the pictures.
223
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:00,606
What?
224
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,177
You know, just to make sure
225
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,845
there aren't any additional
angles to this mystery,
226
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:06,353
no additional dimensions to it.
227
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,446
You see, yeah.
228
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,917
Now click out of that
next pic, huh?
229
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,263
Mmm-hmm, okay.
230
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,292
Next pic.
231
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:15,987
Oh, yeah!
232
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,699
Ooh! Now, okay, next pic now.
233
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,231
Is this really necessary?
234
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:21,166
-No.
-No.
235
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,900
Ooh, think of me
like a doctor.
236
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,974
Doctor of mysteries.
237
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:29,666
Yeah, you can go
to the next one now. Come on.
238
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,339
She's totally nude.
239
00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:32,537
Believe me, young man,
240
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:35,609
these photos are of no
prurient interest to me.
241
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:36,678
Next.
242
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,216
Oh, yeah.
243
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,481
Oh, yeah.
244
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,289
[excitedly] Oh! Oh, I mean...
245
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:45,391
I mean, "Oh," as in this one
does look a little mysterious.
246
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:46,785
May I?
247
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,026
[menacing music playing]
248
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:53,825
[gun cocking]
249
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:56,768
[cell phone camera clicking]
250
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,095
Hello, Craig.
251
00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:02,409
How about
you take a flight...
252
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:03,442
straight to hell.
253
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:06,476
[gunshots]
254
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,847
[thuds]
255
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,521
[car engine whirring]
256
00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:12,484
Who's that?
257
00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:14,388
That's Nancy's mother.
258
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,690
Ooh, Nana! Now we know
259
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,892
what she looks like
when she's not masturbating.
260
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,291
[Craig] Nana?
261
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:21,356
Craig?
262
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,594
But...
263
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:23,859
[dramatic music playing]
264
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:24,996
[Nana] My baby.
265
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:26,761
[sobbing] Oh, no.
266
00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:28,529
What have I done?
267
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,168
[screams]
268
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:33,939
-No!
-[gunshot]
269
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,513
-Oh!
-[thuds]
270
00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:36,581
Oh!
271
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,537
Well, we know
you have lots of choices
272
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,979
when choosing a mystery team,
273
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,654
and we're glad
that you chose us.
274
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,752
The local time here
in Las Vegas is four something.
275
00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:48,145
I don't know
if it's a.m. or p.m.
276
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:50,317
Man, this jet lag is no joke.
277
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:53,390
[theme music playing]
278
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,229
[woman over intercom]
Slip the life vestover your head,
279
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,968
pass the strapsaround your waist
280
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:06,073
and adjust at the front.
281
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:09,135
To inflate the vest,pull firmly on the cord,
282
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:10,975
only when leaving the aircraft.
283
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:13,680
There are severalemergency exitson this aircraft.
284
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,653
Please take a few moments nowto locate your nearest exit.
285
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:19,683
In some cases,your nearest exitmay be behind you.
286
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:22,519
At this timeyour portableelectronic devices
287
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,685
must be setto airplane mode.
288
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:27,794
Hey, turn your...phone off...
289
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:28,887
[softly] Thank you.
290
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,109
[knocking at door]
291
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:43,612
[knocking at door]
292
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,581
[knocking at door]
293
00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:54,746
Murray.
294
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,187
Our plan worked.
295
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:57,992
We can finally be together.
296
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,694
[kissing]
297
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,126
Now come inside
298
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,690
so we can film
each other
masturbating
299
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:06,129
and then we can send
the videos to each other.
300
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,041
[instrumental music plays]
19360
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