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1
00:00:00,734 --> 00:00:02,744
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:38,495
Hey, everybody,
you know what time it is?
3
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,236
Mystery time.
4
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:43,181
But it's also 11:08,
no, 11:09.
5
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:45,577
Well, it's actually
12:35, so...
6
00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:49,978
Did you just take a shower?
7
00:00:49,984 --> 00:00:51,254
Yeah, why?
8
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:53,092
Well, we have
a bird bath outside.
9
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,147
A bird...
(BLEEP) you, Marquess.
10
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,556
I also used the toilet
11
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,317
and left you
a little surprise in there.
12
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:01,655
Oh, and I also ejaculated
all over your toothbrush,
13
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,262
so why don't you go
clean it off
14
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:05,204
in your precious bird bath?
15
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:08,729
Well, someone woke up
on the wrong side of the nest.
16
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:10,499
Yung?
17
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:11,874
We have a new mystery.
18
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:14,542
YUNG HEE: (PANTING)
Yeah, just, uh...
19
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:15,942
Just give me one second.
20
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,413
(CONTINUES PANTING)
21
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,011
What are you doing in there?
22
00:01:19,013 --> 00:01:20,553
YUNG HEE:
Nothing, I'm, just...
23
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,048
I'm almost done.
24
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,249
(GASPS)
25
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,880
(WHISPERS)
Is she masturbating?
26
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:29,686
(GROANS) Oh,
and I just jacked off.
27
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,060
Come on, come on out of there.
28
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:33,589
Ah, wake up.
29
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,534
Pigeon, stop.
Let's just go.
30
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,199
No way. I'm going in there.
31
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,358
-I want to watch.
-No!
32
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,026
Hey, need a hand?
33
00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:43,044
Pigeon!
34
00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:44,897
You're exercising?
35
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:47,705
(SCOFFS) You know what?
I'm glad I just jacked off.
36
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,268
-Ugh.
-(PIGEON SIGHS)
37
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:53,750
Come on, team,
it's mystery time.
38
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:56,277
YUNG HEE: I'm so excited
the mystery is going
to be in San Francisco.
39
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,223
Damn, this is going to be fun.
40
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,389
Fisherman's Wharf,
cable cars,
41
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:01,717
the Wailing Wall...
42
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:02,962
I love San Francisco.
43
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:04,717
Aw, man.
44
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,555
Hell, maybe we can get tickets
to the Sydney Opera House.
45
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,090
Well, Dad, don't forget we
also have to solve a mystery.
46
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:10,926
Yeah, but this is going
to be a quick one.
47
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,471
This lady says
her dog doesn't like
her new boyfriend.
48
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,727
Trust me, we'll be in and out,
49
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,596
and even if we don't solve it
50
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:20,535
it doesn't matter,
because it's a stupid mystery.
51
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,012
Thanks for coming.
We thought you might think
this was a stupid mystery.
52
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:31,816
Oh, there's no such thing
as a stupid mystery, sir.
53
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,689
(CHUCKLES)
54
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:34,917
Can I get anyone anything?
55
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:36,262
I'll take some Rice-A-Roni.
56
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:39,187
Oh, uh, I'm not sure
if we have that.
57
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:41,933
I'll bet you do.
It's the San Francisco treat.
58
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,599
Let's all look.
59
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:44,997
So, Phillip,
60
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,699
your girlfriend's dog
doesn't like you?
61
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,200
That's putting it mildly.
62
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:50,042
I can't even be
in the same room with him.
63
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,937
Lydia took the little bastard
out for a walk
64
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,769
so I could at least
talk to you in peace.
65
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,314
How is the dog with Lydia?
66
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,539
Oh, Max loves Lydia,
he follows her everywhere.
67
00:02:57,545 --> 00:03:00,645
(BLEEP) it.
Make me some gazpacho.
68
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,778
This is a stupid mystery.
69
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,023
(DOOR OPENING)
70
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:09,048
(BARKING AND GROWLING)
71
00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:11,489
God damn it. See?
72
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:12,992
Max, no.
73
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:15,633
-(CONTINUES BARKING)
-No, Max, no.
74
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,129
I'm going to go upstairs.
75
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:18,961
We appreciate you coming.
76
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:22,126
You know, we met dog trainers,
pet therapists, nothing works.
77
00:03:22,136 --> 00:03:24,336
And Phillip's
the sweetest man in the world.
78
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:27,538
It just doesn't make any sense
why Max doesn't like him.
79
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,811
Do you think that
when you're not around
80
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:33,350
maybe Phillip puts
weird objects up
Max's little butthole?
81
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,877
Oh, my God.
82
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,322
What? That would account
for the hostility.
83
00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:39,318
I'm going to make myself
some Rice-A-Roni.
84
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,920
-(GASPS)
-Does anyone want some?
85
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,191
You have to have it
while you're in San Francisco.
86
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,420
MIKE: The pantry!
87
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:45,615
It's written
in the city charter.
88
00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:48,489
I don't mean
to be insensitive,
89
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,995
but have you considered
finding Max another home?
90
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,028
I could never part with Max.
91
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:55,903
He came into my life
when I needed him the most.
92
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,073
You see, I was married before.
93
00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:00,671
Andrew.
94
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,574
But he died tragically.
95
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,510
You best stir that, Lydia.
96
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:06,682
Oh, right.
97
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,180
(BARKS)
98
00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:10,222
Then this little guy showed up
on my doorstep
99
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,617
when I was at my lowest.
100
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:13,619
He was like
a gift from heaven.
101
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:16,521
And now I've met Phillip
and I'm finally in love again.
102
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:19,363
I just don't know what to do.
103
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,530
I know what you could do.
104
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,057
You could fluff that rice
105
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,902
and then maybe get started
on the main course.
106
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:26,367
I think Phillip is making
some gazpacho
107
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,467
so we're gonna have
plenty of sides.
108
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,401
You know what, Phillip?
109
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:33,966
Don't offer to make gazpacho
110
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:36,244
if you're not going to make
gazpacho, all right?
111
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:38,243
Did anyone notice
what I noticed?
112
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:41,305
Yeah, that Lydia
has got a real pair of
(BLEEP) sucking lips.
113
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:42,375
-No.
-No?
114
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,223
-No.
-Oh, okay.
115
00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:48,888
No, that that photo of Andrew
looked an awful lot like Max.
116
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:51,419
The dog? Well, wait,
what are you saying?
117
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,725
I believe that Andrew
missed Lydia so much
118
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,927
he found a way
to be reincarnated.
119
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,299
She said it herself.
120
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:59,458
She said the dog was sent
from heaven.
121
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:00,896
(GASPS) So that would explain
122
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:03,071
why he hates
her new boyfriend.
123
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:06,470
Where the (BLEEP)
is the Mystery Mobile?
This is where we parked.
124
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,643
(SIRENS WAILING)
125
00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:12,983
You know what, I think
this was a happy accident.
126
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,780
Yeah, maybe not for whoever
127
00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:16,352
just got put
in that ambulance.
128
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:19,790
Because now we get
to ride in the cable car.
129
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,817
-(BELL RINGS)
-Ooh, feel that wind!
130
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,762
That's why they call it
the Windy City.
131
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,257
Dad, be careful.
132
00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:26,629
Who's the parent here, Yung?
133
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:28,687
Ooh. Can we get
some ice cream later?
134
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:30,426
You already had dessert.
135
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,031
So, now what do we do?
136
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,432
Do we tell Lydia that her dog
is her late husband?
137
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:35,925
Not yet.
138
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,796
I want to be sure.
I have a friend, Brianna.
139
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,665
She's in my spin class,
she's a medium.
140
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,773
She knows all
about the afterlife
141
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,775
and is able to communicate
with the spirit world.
142
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,177
I thought
you could communicate
with the spirit world.
143
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,110
Well, I can,
144
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:49,715
but it's hard
145
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:52,177
and I have to, like, scrunch
my face to concentrate
146
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:53,946
and my brow lines
are getting so deep.
147
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,624
And then I'd have to
get fillers...
148
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,222
Then I get filler face.
149
00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:59,394
You know what?
I'd rather just call Brianna.
150
00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:01,233
Pigeon, give me your phone.
151
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,628
Oh, what a pretty screensaver.
152
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,830
What is that, an orchid?
153
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,232
It's Lydia's vagina.
154
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,533
I snagged an up-skirt
before we left.
155
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:10,035
-My God!
-Yeah, I know.
156
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,967
These Bay Area hippies.
(LAUGHS)
157
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,242
They don't wear underwear,
I guess.
158
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,310
Okay...
159
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:17,578
Brianna?
(SQUEALS) It's Marquess.
160
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,878
Hey, girl.
161
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,079
MIKE: Oh, whoa!
162
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,910
Dad!
163
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,975
(GASPS) Get out,
what are you doing
in San Francisco?
164
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:26,824
MIKE: I'm okay, I'm catching
up with you soon.
165
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,690
What! (GASPS) Brianna.
166
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,359
I thought you
broke up with him.
167
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:32,017
(CHUCKLES) So, where are you?
168
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,325
MARQUESS: Oh, my God.
I think we're near the Wharf!
169
00:06:34,328 --> 00:06:36,498
(LAUGHS) Love it.
Cocktail hour.
170
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,657
See you soon.
She's here!
171
00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:42,096
In your face, Yung.
172
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,202
Mmm, so good.
173
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,844
Oh, whoa!
174
00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:48,843
(BOTH LAUGHING)
175
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,412
(BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
176
00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:54,212
I don't think it was
very responsible of you
to drink so much.
177
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,614
We still have
to solve a mystery.
178
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:56,876
Oh, please.
179
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,284
I had two mojitos.
180
00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,515
Oh, and we both took Ecstasy.
181
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,521
(BOTH LAUGHING)
182
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,793
MARQUESS:
You are so bad!
183
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,261
BRIANNA: You're bad!
184
00:07:06,692 --> 00:07:08,892
BRIANNA: Mmm-hmm.
185
00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:11,426
Mmm-hmm, is that right?
186
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,062
Well, that's interesting.
187
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,596
Okay, tell me more about that.
188
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:20,907
Oh, I see, wow. Uh-huh.
189
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,938
Now that's a real wow.
190
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,543
Uh-huh. Ooh.
191
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:25,775
Okay, okay.
192
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,379
No, I get it, I hear you.
193
00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:28,611
And I get it.
194
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,745
Marquess, uh,
can I talk to you
195
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:33,421
and the mystery team
privately please?
196
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:34,820
We'll wait in the kitchen.
197
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,462
Let us know
if you need anything.
198
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,957
I can go for some chicken
salad with some almonds.
199
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:41,629
But not big almonds.
Just some almond slivers.
200
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,528
Or maybe some
big almonds, too.
201
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:46,134
Well, Marquess is right.
202
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,103
This is definitely
her late husband Andrew
203
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,971
reincarnated as a dog.
204
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,470
(GASPS) I knew it.
205
00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:54,072
I mean, I had a gut feeling
and I was right.
206
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:57,975
Hey, will you (BLEEP) stop?
207
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,178
If you're gonna
rub me this hard,
at least whack me off.
208
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,910
But there is more
to the story.
209
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,675
Andrew didn't just die.
210
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,654
-He was murdered.
-(ALL GASP)
211
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,452
But there's more to the story.
212
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:10,024
He was murdered by Phillip!
213
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,323
(ALL GASP)
214
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,915
No, but there's more
to the story!
215
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,156
No, actually...
Actually, that was it.
216
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,291
(GASPS)
217
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,825
So that's why he came back.
218
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,530
To protect his wife
from a vicious murderer.
219
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:23,443
But how do we convince Lydia
that Phillip murdered Andrew?
220
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:25,767
We don't.
Andrew will tell her.
221
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:27,772
Marquess will turn him
back into a man.
222
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:29,014
You can do that, Marquess?
223
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,339
Uh, well... Well, I can.
224
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:34,675
But as I said to Yung,
these things require...
225
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,681
(SIGHS)
A great deal of effort.
226
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:40,393
Oh, well, in that case
don't do it. Asshole.
227
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,417
Fine, fine.
228
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,693
(SIGHS)
229
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,832
Mmm, on the count of three,
regain your human form,
230
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,358
one, two, three.
231
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,833
Okay, that should happen
in about 10 seconds.
232
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,472
PIGEON: Oh, wow!
Marquess, are you okay?
233
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,468
Do you need to lie down?
234
00:08:56,470 --> 00:08:58,570
(SCOFFS) Drama queen.
235
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:02,874
I'm back.
236
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,506
Yeah, I can't find
any almonds,
237
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,141
do you mind pecans or...
238
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:07,246
Who are you?
239
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:08,807
Well, I was Jim Bankerd
240
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,575
and then I had a heart attack
and died
241
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:11,984
and I came back as your dog.
242
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,545
And now I guess
I'm Jim Bankerd again.
243
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,054
I mean that's what
I was telling her.
244
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,485
I thought she understood.
245
00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,220
I've had a lot of Ecstasy.
246
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:21,855
Like, way more than
the recommended amount.
247
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:23,902
-Here you go.
-What the hell is this?
248
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,427
Chicken salad.
249
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:28,172
Well, I just assumed
you'd put it on a baguette
250
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,168
or some sourdough.
251
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,340
I mean, even a lettuce wrap.
252
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,009
You just hand me a bowl?
253
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:37,375
Who's this?
254
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,437
-This was our dog.
-What?
255
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:41,676
Don't "what" me,
you son of a bitch!
256
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,682
But if you weren't
Lydia's late husband,
257
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,524
why do you hate
Phillip so much?
258
00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:48,019
-Tell her.
-I don't know what
you're talking about.
259
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,021
Whenever you weren't here,
260
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,193
this piece of garbage
would put weird things
in my butthole.
261
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,132
(BLEEP) Deviant piece of shit.
262
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:57,197
Matches, pens, guitar picks,
his (BLEEP) thumbs.
263
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:58,857
And he didn't do
just stuff to me.
264
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,265
This guy is crazy.
265
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,097
I saw him ejaculate
on your toothbrush.
266
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,242
(STAMMERING)
Well, that's not crazy.
267
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,737
What is wrong with you?
268
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,369
-Lydia...
-Get out!
269
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,114
I never want to see you again.
270
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:10,942
(SIGHS)
271
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:14,382
This might sound crazy,
272
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:16,151
but would you like
to have dinner with me?
273
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,579
I'd like that very much, Max.
274
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,115
I mean Jim.
275
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,099
Well, that was
a stupid mystery.
276
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,169
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
277
00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:43,737
MAN: Mike, do you guys
have a family dog?
278
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,144
No.
279
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,845
MAN: Why not?
280
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,977
Because my children believe
they are allergic to dogs.
281
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,352
MAN:
Are they allergic to dogs?
282
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:51,720
No, they're not.
19876
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