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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:06,070 The TV, TV's on baby! 2 00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:08,173 Deezy, my neezy, come on, man! 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,535 -Oh, where? -Right here. 4 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,143 It's time. It's game time. 5 00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,405 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 6 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,750 -(HUMMING) -(INCOHERENT RAMBLING) 7 00:00:19,754 --> 00:00:24,124 I'm in a dinosaur. I knocked a mother (BEEP) Tyrannosaurus Rex out. 8 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,490 Whoo! 9 00:00:29,662 --> 00:00:31,162 I'm pretty baby! 10 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:38,000 All right, what are we waiting for? Let's do this, to the Mystery Mobile. 11 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:41,265 -Whoa, wait! We need Yung. -We don't need Yung. 12 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:43,775 -Who doesn't need me? -Ah, Jesus Christ! 13 00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:45,108 We got a new mystery. 14 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:47,312 -Oh, what's it say? -It doesn't matter, let's go! 15 00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:49,114 To the Mystery Mobile! 16 00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:52,346 -Let me see what it says. -It doesn't (BEEP) matter! 17 00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:55,223 What? They're all the same, let's go! 18 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,062 Let me see it! 19 00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:58,888 "Dear Mike Tyson Mystery team, 20 00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:01,493 "I want to get into porn, but I don't know how." signed, Leslie. 21 00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,125 -Urgh, really? -Yes. 22 00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:05,900 Really, this is a girl, who is asking for our help! 23 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,800 And as a Mystery Team member, it is my job, 24 00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:12,603 nay, my duty, to provide that help! 25 00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:15,806 And if any of you wanna come, then don't come! 26 00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:19,610 But I for one, am coming! (LAUGHING) 27 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:24,881 Oh, yes, I will be coming. 28 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:27,215 To the mystery mobile! (DOOR SLAMS) 29 00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:37,795 Ah, look how beautiful! 30 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:40,328 I've never been in this part of the country before. 31 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,174 These are the red states, Marquess. 32 00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:45,299 People like me and you, we gotta watch it, around here. 33 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:46,766 You too, Yung. 34 00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:49,838 It's up here on the right. 35 00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:06,232 -So uh, how do I look? -Ugly, like always. 36 00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:08,387 (LAUGHING) 37 00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:11,395 Oh, burn on you, Pigeon, you got binged man! 38 00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:13,068 You got binged by Yung. 39 00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,567 You got Yung-ed! 40 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:15,568 (KNOCKING) 41 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,273 Uh, hey, old timer! 42 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,173 We're here to see Leslie. 43 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,375 I'm Leslie, Leslie Callahan. 44 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:27,307 Oh, my goodness, Mike Tyson, you got my note! 45 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,314 Come, come! 46 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:33,416 Ha, there will be no coming. 47 00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:39,260 Oh, on the other hand, never say never. 48 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:42,060 I don't want my wife to hear us. 49 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:44,162 What, you have a wife? 50 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,855 Yes sir, fellow. 51 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:48,726 And I don't want her to hear us talking about any of this. 52 00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:49,736 I bet you don't. 53 00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,467 All right, let's just get to it. 54 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:52,872 What kind of porn are we talking about? 55 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,143 Gay, straight, don't tell me you're an old bi. 56 00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:56,541 Porn, as in pornography? 57 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:59,114 Yeah, you said you wanted to get into porn. 58 00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:02,253 Parm, I want to get into Parm. 59 00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:03,549 What the (BEEP) is Parm? 60 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,581 It's the Italian restaurant in town 61 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:08,046 and I believe it's short for parmesan or something. 62 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,515 This says, "porn"! 63 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,793 And it was written by a girl! 64 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,161 I had to write it with my left hand! 65 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,760 My writing hand got bit by Lady, our draft horse. 66 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:19,574 She's gotten real aggressive, in her old age. 67 00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:22,867 Now, can you help me get a reservation to Parm or not? 68 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,270 Why can't you do it, you old hillbilly? 69 00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:27,542 I wouldn't know how to go about it. 70 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,271 My wife does that sort of thing 71 00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,336 and I want this to be a surprise! 72 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,775 -It's our anniversary. -Aw. 73 00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:36,921 -Do you have a phone? -I think so. 74 00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:41,047 -My wife usually handles that sort of thing. -Oh, my God. 75 00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:43,585 I got a phone, Leslie. Let me look it up. 76 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:48,258 -Parm, on highway 60? -That's the one! 77 00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,462 -What time do you want the reservation? -Hmm... 78 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:54,474 Well, this is a pretty special occasion. I want it to be romantic. 79 00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:57,468 4:00, 4:30? Better make it 4:00. 80 00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:00,241 Make... 4 o'clock? Highway 60? 81 00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:03,211 Shitty Italian restaurant, hmm, she's a lucky lady! 82 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:06,210 Oh, hi, I'm calling in to make a reservation today 83 00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:07,713 for 2 people at 4 o'clock. 84 00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:09,881 Okay, thank you. 85 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,583 Yeah, they don't take reservations. 86 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,645 But they say there's always a table. 87 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:16,594 (SIGHS) I don't know how you did it. 88 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,190 But I can't thank you all enough. 89 00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:21,493 Well, mystery solved. Let's get the (BEEP) out of here. 90 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,928 Well, not every mystery is going to be a nail-biter. 91 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:30,135 How much longer until we're home? 92 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,397 Twenty-one hours. 93 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:35,506 -(CRUNCHING) -What was that? 94 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:38,609 I'm sure it was nothing. 95 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,612 Is that smoke, coming from the back of our car? 96 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,224 Well, I wouldn't know. I don't ever look back. 97 00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:46,817 I always keep looking forward just like the old saying, 98 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:50,560 "Don't ever look back, always keep looking forward." 99 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:53,987 -(ENGINE HISSING) -Oh (BEEP), something's wrong with the van! 100 00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,934 -YUNG: Dad, pull over! -MARQUESS: Michael, we can't see a thing, Michael. 101 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,700 MIKE: It's okay, I think it's clearing. 102 00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,099 MARQUESS: It's not clearing, Michael. 103 00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:04,071 Well, you have an oil leak for sure, and if that's all it is, 104 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:07,371 we can have you back on the road to Hollywood in a couple of hours. 105 00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:09,114 I'll give you a call, when it's ready. 106 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,639 What the hell are we supposed to do for a couple of hours? 107 00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:26,963 Welcome to Parm! Are you all here for dinner or supper? 108 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,230 What the (BEEP) are you talking about? 109 00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:33,399 Well, we just put away all the dinner menus, so we only have supper menus. 110 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,770 But if you want a dinner menu, I can try and get you one. 111 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,240 And what the hell is the difference? 112 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:41,839 They're pretty much the same, but the dinner menu's got some breakfast items on it. 113 00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:44,935 Oh, God! There's Leslie. 114 00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:47,745 I'm sorry, could you seat us on this side of the restaurant? 115 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:50,018 Well, sure! You can sit wherever you like. 116 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,617 The rush is just about over. 117 00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:53,588 Well, hello there, friends! 118 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:56,787 Why, I thought by now you'd be back sitting on the beach in Hollywood! 119 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,720 We're having a little car trouble. 120 00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:01,626 So, we're just gonna, um, grab a quick bite before we go. 121 00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:04,658 Then come and sit with us. Virgilia! 122 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,965 Oh, no, we don't wanna intrude. 123 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,267 Nonsense, we insist. 124 00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:12,638 Virgilia! These are the ones I was telling you about. 125 00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:16,709 Michael, you wanna check on the van? Please, now! 126 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,280 Oh, Leslie's told me so much about you all. 127 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,679 (GREETING EACH OTHER) 128 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:24,452 Oh, do you need a chair for your little bird? 129 00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,021 Or does he sit with one of you? 130 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:29,049 -I'll take a chair. -They got some crackers at the salad bar. 131 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,956 -Polly want a cracker? -(CHUCKLES) 132 00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:35,058 (BEEP) you. Um, I'll take a rum and coke. 133 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,632 Oh, this is a dry county. 134 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:39,870 -Oh, my God! -The van won't be ready till tomorrow. 135 00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,327 We're gonna have to spend the night. 136 00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:43,835 -You got any hotels around here? -Hotel? 137 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,967 This isn't Hollywood, young man. 138 00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:49,473 There's not a hotel on every corner. No, you stay with us! 139 00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:50,806 We insist! 140 00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:57,115 ♪ Lord, shepherd our guests into slumber 141 00:06:57,117 --> 00:07:01,147 ♪ Lord, shepherd our guests into sleep 142 00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:05,155 ♪ Lord, watch over these children 143 00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:09,899 ♪ Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord! ♪ 144 00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,527 -Ah, thank you, that was... -(SINGING CONTINUES) 145 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:14,902 ♪ Lord, hold them up to your glory 146 00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:18,772 ♪ Lord, pull them down to your breast 147 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:22,512 ♪ Lord, keep them safe and protect them 148 00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:26,809 ♪ Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord! ♪ 149 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:30,724 -Good night. -Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite. 150 00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:33,587 And we do get a lot of bed bugs this time of year. 151 00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,759 (COUGHING) 152 00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:44,501 (MATTRESS CREAKING) 153 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,925 (COUGHING CONTINUES) 154 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,271 -(COUGHING) -YUNG: Are you okay? 155 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:56,984 MARQUESS: Ahem, I'm fine. 156 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:01,775 (FARTING) 157 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,682 -MARQUESS: Sorry. -PIGEON: Jesus Christ! 158 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,554 I gotta go find some alcohol. 159 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:25,200 All right, where do they keep it? Let's think here. 160 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:29,105 Religious, ashamed, secretive. 161 00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:32,009 Under the sink, with the cleaning supplies! 162 00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:37,878 Bingo! (CHUCKLES) 163 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,745 Ah, I see you found my stash. 164 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:43,223 -(GASPS) Who are you? -I'm Annabelle Callahan. 165 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,763 The farmer's daughter. 166 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,928 I didn't know people actually call themselves that. 167 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:50,427 I'm Richard, one of the members of a mystery team. 168 00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:54,900 You gonna pour me a drink or just keep staring at me with that bottle in your hand? 169 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:57,142 Ah, you gonna tell me where the glasses are, 170 00:08:57,137 --> 00:09:01,537 or just keep being an unhelpful bitch standing in the doorway? 171 00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:11,823 -Thank you, Ma'am. -And we've got waffles coming so save room! 172 00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,616 (PIGEON HUMMING) 173 00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:22,091 Well, good morning, my friends! 174 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:25,155 Damn, are these hot cakes? I'm starving, you know why? 175 00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:27,798 Huh? 176 00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:32,266 -Anybody, want to know why? -No. 177 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:38,012 Huh? I'm starving because I ejaculated a ton last night, that's why! 178 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,641 And I wasn't masturbating. 179 00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:42,646 If you know what I mean. (LAUGHS GLOATINGLY) 180 00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:45,049 Ha, and I think that you do. 181 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,052 I don't wanna kiss and tell. 182 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,816 Well, I (BEEP) the farmer's daughter last night. 183 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:53,785 -What? -Yeah. 184 00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:56,094 Yeah, here she is, Annabelle. 185 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:59,496 My sweet, Annabelle. Mmm... 186 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,703 Here are those waffles, I promised you. 187 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,243 -Oh, good morning, bird. -Good morning, Ma'am. 188 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,038 Say, where's that lovely daughter of yours? 189 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,010 Will she be joining us for breakfast? 190 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,209 -(GASPS) -(PLATE SHATTERS) 191 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:15,051 Our daughter has been dead for 6 years. 192 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:35,071 LESLIE: I said it before and I'll say it again. 193 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:39,068 Our daughter has been dead for six years. 194 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,642 (SOBBING) 195 00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:45,635 Virgilia! 196 00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:50,246 It's been six years, but to her, it's like it was yesterday. 197 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,450 Virgilia! 198 00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,751 Oh, my God. 199 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:55,193 This is not good. This is really not good. 200 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:59,258 I don't know what waffles you're eating because mine's very good. 201 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,789 You should not have had sex with a ghost! 202 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,795 The (BLEEP) was I supposed to know she was a ghost? 203 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,857 -Why? What's gonna happen? -I don't know! 204 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:08,666 (STAMMERING) I just remember, when you die, the first thing they tell you, 205 00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,699 the very first thing they say is, 206 00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:14,014 the dead cannot (BLEEP) the living and the living cannot (BLEEP) the dead. 207 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,937 And I remember I was like, "Where am I? Is this heaven? 208 00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:19,213 "Are you God?" And they're like, "Shut up!" 209 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:22,612 They grab you by the shoulders and they shake you and they say, "Shut up, you (BLEEP)!" 210 00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:26,446 They shake you and they say, "Don't worry about any of that right now, you (BLEEP)!" 211 00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:30,193 The only thing that matters is that you are not allowed to (BLEEP) the living 212 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,920 and the living better not (BLEEP) you! 213 00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:34,225 -They use the word (BLEEP)? -I know! 214 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,357 I know! It is shocking. 215 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,463 The whole thing is unbelievably shocking. 216 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,225 -Well, did they say what would happen? -No! 217 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:44,044 They just said something (BLEEP) up would happen. 218 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,037 The whole universe would be (BLEEP). 219 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,309 So crass! Who are these people? 220 00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,278 Angels, God. All of them. 221 00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,037 (SIREN BLARING) 222 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,375 PIGEON: What is that? 223 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,680 It's a warning siren. For a tornado. 224 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,322 Oh! 225 00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:00,317 Oh, no! This is it! This is the end! 226 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,050 -Get away from the window! -Don't touch me! 227 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,415 We have to get to the basement. 228 00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,723 It doesn't matter! 229 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,285 Nothing can save us, you stupid bitch! 230 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:09,433 You don't need to be saved, you idiot! You're already dead! 231 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,729 You can die over and over. 232 00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,332 That was another thing they said. 233 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,933 And each time, it's worse than before! 234 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,866 The next time I come back, 235 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,611 I won't be able to touch things or be touched! 236 00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,867 And then the death after that one, oh! 237 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,236 I won't even look like me anymore. No! 238 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:28,745 I'll be one of those "bed sheet with eyeholes cut out" ghosts. 239 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,119 And I... Oh! 240 00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:32,047 Ah, (BLEEP), did you just wet yourself? 241 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,292 What difference does it make, Pigeon? 242 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:35,547 None of it matters! 243 00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:39,115 We're all gonna die and it's all your fault! 244 00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:40,226 I hate you! 245 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:43,087 I hate all of you and I always have! 246 00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:45,559 (SOBBING) 247 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,340 Get it over with, you (BLEEP) coward! 248 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,510 (SIREN BLARING) 249 00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:57,139 Oh, shit, is that my phone? 250 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,744 -(BEEP) -(SIREN STOPS) 251 00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,175 This is Mike Tyson. 252 00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:02,406 Damn, really? 253 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:05,015 Okay, well, I guess it takes the time that it takes. 254 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,618 Thanks for calling. 255 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:09,650 (BLEEP) Mystery Mobile is not gonna be ready till tomorrow. 256 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:12,786 MARQUESS: I'll just sit here, ready to take what you've got! 257 00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,393 YUNG HEE: Should we go get him? 258 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,260 PIGEON: Nah. 259 00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:18,803 ANNABELLE: Hey, Richard. 260 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:21,169 Don't "Hey, Richard" me. 261 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:23,568 Why didn't you tell me you were a ghost? 262 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,370 You know I've always prided myself on the fact 263 00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:28,012 that I've never (BLEEP) a dead person? 264 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:31,578 And believe me, there have been plenty of opportunities. 265 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,138 What are you talking about? 266 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,776 Your parents told us you've been dead for six years. 267 00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:38,452 Ugh, dead to them. 268 00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,551 Ever since they found out I was a stripper, 269 00:13:40,554 --> 00:13:43,354 they refused to acknowledge my existence. 270 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,056 Oh, my God, are you Mike Tyson? 271 00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,988 LESLIE: What are you doing in here? 272 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,633 I live here, Daddy! 273 00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:50,498 Not in the main house. 274 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,427 You stay in the barn. 275 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,902 With the other animals. 276 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,670 I'm just doing my laundry! 277 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:59,439 What for? You're just gonna strip out of them clothes anyway! 278 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,309 I hate you, old man! 279 00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:02,608 I hope you die! 280 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,779 -You coming? -PIGEON: Huh? 281 00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:06,848 Yeah. Yeah, sure. 282 00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:12,251 She's not a ghost, Marquess. She's a stripper. 283 00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:18,262 MARQUESS: Mmm-hmm. 284 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,628 I really got some egg on my face. 285 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,257 (EXCLAIMS) I'm nude! 286 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,638 What the (BLEEP) is Dierks Bentley? 287 00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:32,938 Here, grab the wheel. 288 00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:35,169 -What? -I have to put on my makeup. 289 00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:36,565 I gotta be on stage in 20 minutes. 290 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:40,206 Well, I can't really see anything, but whatever. 291 00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:43,723 Must be nice, living in Hollywood, 292 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:46,717 doing whatever you want whenever you wanna do it. 293 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,820 My cousin went to Hollywood once. 294 00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:53,092 She said it's nothing but mai tais and coconut trees as far as the eye can see. 295 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,893 -Is that true? -Yes. 296 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,598 I gotta get out of this town. 297 00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:00,327 I got big dreams. You wanna know what they are? 298 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,703 Listen, should I keep driving straight or... 299 00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,072 Oh, go left up here. 300 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:08,038 I wanna open a pie shop. 301 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,581 Everyone always says I'm good at two things, 302 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,437 givin' head and makin' pies. 303 00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,975 But since there's no such thing as a givin' head shop, 304 00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:16,921 I guess I'll just open a pie shop. 305 00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:18,517 Oh, (BLEEP), you just passed it. 306 00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:22,793 (TIRES SCREECHING) 307 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,663 (GOAT BLEATING) 308 00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:29,029 LESLIE: Well, I surely appreciate you gentlemen helping with the chores. 309 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,959 Oh, it's the least we can do, sir. 310 00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,964 Thank you for letting us stay another night. 311 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,366 Do I need a bucket? 312 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,667 Oh, no, I got another job for you, son. 313 00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:39,240 -You like horses? -Yeah! 314 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,569 This is our draft horse, Lady. 315 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:43,814 -Ah, she's beautiful. -You're gonna put her down. 316 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,380 -What? -Well, I can't do it. 317 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,478 My writing hand is my shooting hand. 318 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,620 Here, this is a Scolnick arm single-shot pistol. 319 00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:52,550 It was my granddaddy's 320 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,852 and if it was good enough for him, 321 00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,393 it'll be good enough for you. 322 00:15:55,921 --> 00:15:58,491 She's a good girl. 323 00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:00,631 You wanna shoot her right between the eyes. 324 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,827 Just don't let that bullet get high on you. 325 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:04,259 If it gets above the brow line, 326 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,004 it'll bounce off her skull bone 327 00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,699 and that'll set her off. 328 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:10,401 She'll stomp you till there's nothing left of you. 329 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:11,703 (LADY SNORTING) 330 00:16:14,406 --> 00:16:16,836 PIGEON: Wait, you... You strip at Parme? 331 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,613 No, the club's round back. 332 00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:24,877 Xxxtra Parme. 333 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,354 Uh, I hope you brought your wallet 334 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,253 because from 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., 335 00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:29,654 these titties ain't free. 336 00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:32,916 Jesus Christ, it's 12:45. 337 00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:36,756 She's an hour and 45 minutes late to a four-hour shift. 338 00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:40,567 (MILKING) 339 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:41,997 (BLEATING) 340 00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:52,178 Damn, Marquess, how'd you do that? 341 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,808 Have you done this before? 342 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,913 No, I've never done this before. 343 00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,945 Shit, you got so much more than I got! 344 00:16:57,951 --> 00:17:00,281 I didn't get so much more than you. 345 00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:03,286 Leslie, come see how much Marquess got out of this goat. 346 00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:05,419 We don't need to show Leslie. 347 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,125 Good Lord, fellow! 348 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,427 Have you done this before? 349 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,498 No, I have not done this before! 350 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:15,827 I haven't seen anyone get that goat to produce like that since... 351 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,065 (VOICE BREAKING) Since Annabelle. 352 00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,800 God rest her soul. 353 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,735 Oh, come on! 354 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,970 Don't you think it's a bit extreme to say your daughter's dead to you 355 00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:24,636 just because she's a stripper? 356 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:26,844 It's not just the strippin'. 357 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:30,876 It's the taking of the men she strips for back to our farm 358 00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,884 and druggin' them and sexin' them 359 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,416 and cuttin' off their penises 360 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:37,161 and bakin' those penises into a pie! 361 00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,787 What the (BLEEP) did you just say? 362 00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:41,962 We pleaded with Annabelle to stop. We said, 363 00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:45,831 "If you continue this behavior, you'll be dead to us." 364 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:50,032 Well, of course she went ahead and brought another fella back to the farm 365 00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:51,996 and she sexed him and cut off his penis 366 00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:53,865 and cooked it up and put it in a pie. 367 00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:57,043 And so we said, "Now you've really done it, 368 00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,283 "and now you are dead to us!" 369 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,449 (GUN FIRING) 370 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,684 (STAMMERING) It just went off! 371 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:06,323 I was just holding it and it went off! 372 00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:08,349 Yeah, it does that from time to time. 373 00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:10,464 It's a 160-year-old pistol. 374 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,557 Probably should just be in a museum. 375 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:13,889 Come on, Yung. 376 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:16,163 We gotta save Pigeon before he becomes a penis pie. 377 00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:24,298 Why is there no one else here? 378 00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:27,070 We close at 3:00. 379 00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:28,873 Is that why there's no music? 380 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:31,005 Uh-uh. Speaker's broke. 381 00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:36,709 You know what you make me wanna do? 382 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,246 Give me head? 383 00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,151 -Make pie. -Make... What? 384 00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:41,993 (SIGHS) Damn. 385 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:47,758 (BOTH SINGING) ♪ And as you're greeted in the garden of Jesus 386 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:53,160 ♪ May He shepherd His grace on ye 387 00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:56,666 ♪ Amen ♪ 388 00:18:57,769 --> 00:18:59,569 (NEIGHING ANGRILY) 389 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:00,772 -(GASPS) -Lady! 390 00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:02,313 (SCREAMS) No! 391 00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:05,539 What the (BLEEP), man? Where is it? 392 00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:08,405 I told you, with birds, it doesn't stay out all the time. 393 00:19:08,414 --> 00:19:11,124 It withdraws up into the body cavity. 394 00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:13,047 -Well, get it out! -I can't. 395 00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:15,192 It only comes out when I'm turned on! 396 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:18,758 And I'm definitely not turned on right now. 397 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:21,128 Then I'll just have to cut it out myself. 398 00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:22,587 -MARQUESS: Pigeon! -Let him go! 399 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:25,025 The only place his penis is going is with us. 400 00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,561 Oh, let's see. 401 00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:29,926 One, two, three more penises to add to my pie. 402 00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,196 Why does everyone think I'm a boy? 403 00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:33,144 It's your haircut and I've told you that. 404 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,710 Oh, (BLEEP), we're in trouble. 405 00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:40,307 -No! -(NEIGHING ANGRILY) 406 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:44,151 (NEIGHING) 407 00:19:46,451 --> 00:19:48,191 (MARQUESS PANTING) 408 00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,718 Oh! She spared us! 409 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,593 She spared our lives! 410 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,262 (NEIGHING ANGRILY) 411 00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:56,690 MARQUESS: Thank you, Lady. Be free! 412 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,196 (HORN HONKING) 413 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:07,066 (BOTH SINGING) ♪ And as you're greeted in the garden of Jesus 414 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:12,243 ♪ May He shepherd His grace on ye ♪ 415 00:20:38,937 --> 00:20:42,167 (BOTH LAUGHING) 416 00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:44,205 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 31798

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