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1
00:00:00,467 --> 00:00:02,967
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:40,473 --> 00:00:42,983
-What is that?
-Leftovers. Chinese food.
3
00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:45,337
-Why? Do you want it?
-(WINGS FLUTTERING)
4
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:51,375
Hey, what the hell?
Get the (BLEEP) away from me.
5
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,845
Ah, he wants
to be your friend.
6
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:55,323
Yeah, I already have
enough friends I don't like.
7
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:57,792
(MARQUESS HUMMING)
8
00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,200
Are you drinking wine?
9
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,429
What? It's the weekend.
10
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,138
Dad, we got a new mystery.
11
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,467
Damn, they sure like
that orange chicken.
12
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:15,673
I wonder, do they know that
they're eating their cousins?
13
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,236
"Dear Mike Tyson Mystery Team,
14
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,614
"My sister Elsa and Iare struggling to figure out
15
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:22,153
"what to do withour 96-year-old father.
16
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:24,079
"I think we need to put himin a nursing home,
17
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,715
"but Elsa worries thatif we do,
18
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,649
"he'll lose the will to live.
19
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,485
"Can you help us decide?
20
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,220
"Sincerely, Alex Schmidt."
21
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:34,325
Oh, God, that's depressing.
22
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,458
Are we allowed to pick
another one?
23
00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:38,704
Yeah, I guess we could
pick another one.
24
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,469
Whoo, this'll be fun!
25
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:42,868
(CHUCKLES) Cheers, team.
26
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,600
You know,
it's 10:00 in the morning.
27
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:48,065
What? You never heard
of a little white wine
with brunch?
28
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,435
We're not eating brunch.
29
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,213
(SCOFFS)
30
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,752
-She can be a real (BLEEP).
-YUNG: Oh, my God.
31
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,707
Okay, how about this one?
32
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,676
"Dear Mike Tyson Mystery Team,
33
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,915
"I don't have
anyone else to turn to.
34
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,920
"My husband was just laid off,
35
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:04,092
"and we're so far behind
on our mortgage
36
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:06,861
"that the bank is threateningto take our home.
37
00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:08,691
"I would go back to work,
38
00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:10,656
"but I'm afraidI was just injured,
39
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,804
"and in a fire,
40
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,929
"and my face was burnt off."
41
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:17,004
Jesus! That's more depressing
than the other one.
42
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,804
I'll get us one.
I'll get us a-one.
43
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,606
I'll get us a fun one.
44
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,213
Okay. Here we go.
45
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:27,082
"Dear Mike Tyson Mystery Team,
46
00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:29,581
"Our beloved
Golden Retriever, Furley,
47
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,953
"recently ran away.
48
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:34,992
"Making matters worse,he was the one bright spot
49
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:38,259
"in the life of ourspecial needs daughter."
50
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,629
Oh, my God. Let's...
Let's just go with the...
51
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:43,298
With the old man
and the nursing home.
52
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,697
Good Lord, now,
I need a drink.
53
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:48,029
(SCREAMS)
What the (BLEEP) is this?
54
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,535
What is this, vodka?
55
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,397
Huh? (CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
56
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:53,165
What? How did that
get in there?
57
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,978
ALEX: I'm glad you guys
were able to get in
before the storm.
58
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:03,981
They say
the Denver area might
get eight inches tonight.
59
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:07,224
Mmm, I'll give you
8 inches tonight.
(CHUCKLES)
60
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:08,851
-Are you drunk?
-What?
61
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:11,956
He says stuff like that
all the time and no one
says anything.
62
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,689
Ha!
63
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,995
So, Alex, why do you think
your dad should be
in a nursing home?
64
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:19,228
Well, he's 96.
65
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,333
He lives alone in a cabin
up in the mountains.
66
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,095
There's no heat.
67
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:24,943
So he has to chop wood
just to keep from
freezing to death.
68
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:27,139
I mean, he always forgets
to take his heart medicine.
69
00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:30,011
And the nearest hospital,
it's two hours away.
70
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,610
And he's always been
a little crazy,
but I swear to God,
71
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,553
he's getting crazier
every day.
72
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,878
Is he single?
73
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,253
(CHUCKLING)
I'm sorry. I am drunk.
74
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:41,616
Mmm, Alex,
it's a tough situation,
75
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,422
but I think you're right.
76
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:46,434
You should definitely put
your father in a nursing home.
77
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,087
No ifs, ands, and buts.
78
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,968
-Dad can't go in a home.
-(SIGHS)
79
00:03:57,972 --> 00:03:59,812
He needs his independence.
80
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:02,037
You take that away from him
and he'll have nothing
to live for.
81
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,282
Elsa.
82
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:06,708
It's a tough situation,
but I think you're right.
83
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:09,824
You should definitely
not put your father
in a nursing home.
84
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,777
No ifs, ands, and buts.
85
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,446
Fine. Then we'll have Dad
move in with you.
86
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:18,516
Oh, because with three kids
and a marriage that's
hanging on by a thread,
87
00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:19,885
I don't have enough
on my plate?
88
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:22,233
Yeah. I'll put something
on your plate.
89
00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:23,629
(GUFFAWS)
90
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:25,927
(ALL LAUGHING)
91
00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:28,299
Oh, that's funny.
92
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:29,802
Ugh! How is that...
93
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:32,543
It's timing.
You've got bad timing.
94
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:36,069
If anything, it makes
the most sense for him
to live with you, Alex.
95
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,506
You live alone.
96
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,081
And I travel all the time,
97
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:41,409
so he'd still have
no one looking after him.
98
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:42,945
Hey, I have a solution.
99
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,850
I think your father
should move in with us.
100
00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:46,352
No ifs, ands, and buts.
101
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:47,553
-What?
-Dad!
102
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,294
Yeah. Yeah,
that's what we need.
103
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:52,160
That's what the team
has been missing
the entire time,
104
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,089
a 96-year-old man.
105
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,464
We can all take
turns bathing him,
106
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,503
feeding him, (BLEEP) him.
107
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,169
(LAUGHING)
108
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,930
(ALL LAUGHING)
109
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,468
He's very funny.
110
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,213
Okay. I can't.
111
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,778
Well, have you asked
your father what he wants?
112
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,678
He doesn't know
what's good for him.
113
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:13,850
And he's crazy.
114
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,977
He's not crazy,
he's eccentric.
115
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,023
He spends all his time
up there
116
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,448
looking for
the Abominable Snowman.
117
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:21,854
He is crazy!
118
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:24,715
(SIGHS) Maybe you're right.
119
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,185
He should live with me.
120
00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,286
(SOBBING)
121
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,504
There, there. We'll figure out
122
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,670
what to do about Pop-pop.
123
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:41,667
We should have gone with
the special needs kid.
124
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,119
(SIGHS)
He's still not picking up.
125
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,049
Dad, it's Elsa and Alex again.
126
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,794
And the Mystery Team again.
127
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,389
We're almost at the cabin.
128
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:58,761
I hope you're okay.
129
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,389
Call me when you get this.
130
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:02,594
Oh, jeez.
When was the last time
you talked to him?
131
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,756
-It's been a few days.
-(SIGHS)
132
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,365
Can you seriously
not move your seat up?
133
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:09,128
I told you,
I can't reach the handle.
134
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,596
It's not my fault Alex didn't
spring for power seats.
135
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:14,835
(SCOFFS)
Why is the smallest person
sitting up there anyway?
136
00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:16,212
He called shotgun.
137
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,580
And when you call shotgun,
you get shotgun.
138
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:22,179
Does anyone know where
the term "Riding shotgun"
comes from?
139
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:26,787
Okay. Well, I'll tell you.
140
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,387
MARQUESS: It comes
from the Old West.
141
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,789
When the settlers were riding
in their covered wagons,
142
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:34,891
they always had someone
sit up next to the driver
holding a shotgun.
143
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,025
Yeah, to protect them
from bandits.
144
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:41,770
And that is where the term
"Shotgun" comes from.
145
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:44,869
Really? It's not from me
wanting to put a shotgun
in my mouth
146
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:46,442
while you were
telling that story?
147
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:57,321
(WIND WHISTLING)
148
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,085
-Why is the front door open?
-Oh, God.
149
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:10,804
(ELSA CRYING)
150
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,028
Daddy.
151
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:14,799
There, there. It's okay.
152
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,702
At least now
you don't have to decide
153
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,373
if your dad
should live with you,
154
00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:20,942
or if he should be
put into a nursing home.
155
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,308
Because he's dead.
156
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:25,210
And so, now,
all you have to decide now is
157
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,412
what you're gonna do
with his frozen body.
158
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:28,954
(SOBBING)
159
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:41,429
If it's any consolation,
160
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,258
they say that
freezing to death
161
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:45,963
is one of the most
painless ways to go.
162
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:52,372
Or maybe it's one of the most
painful ways to go.
163
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:56,012
I mean, his face looks like
it was excruciating.
164
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,509
(ELSA CRYING)
165
00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,345
Ah... What?
166
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,655
Hello?
Uh, this is Alex Schmidt.
167
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,457
There has been a death.
My father has passed away.
168
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:16,260
His name was
Hermann Schmidt, yes.
169
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:19,303
The cabin at the end of
Pine Bluff Road.
170
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,799
-Okay, thanks. We'll be here.
-MIKE: Whoa!
171
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:23,442
What's all this shit?
172
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:26,537
The Abominable Snowman?
173
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:30,014
My dad was obsessed.
174
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,080
(SCOFFS) But I suppose
there are worse things
175
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,749
he could have done
with his life.
176
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,847
-(GASPS)
-(DOOR RUMBLING)
177
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,192
-Heil Hitler!
-ALEX: What the...
178
00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:47,287
(RECORDING PLAYING)
179
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:50,031
Pop-pop!
180
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,101
(GASPS)
181
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:57,501
What the hell is this?
182
00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:02,044
It looks like it's
your dad's secret Nazi room.
183
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,742
This can't be possible.
184
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,314
Your dad was crazy, all right.
185
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:07,882
But not because he believes
in the Abominable Snowman.
186
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:11,281
No, it's because he wanted to
exterminate the Jewish people,
187
00:09:11,285 --> 00:09:13,945
which, if you ask me,
I believe is
much more abominable
188
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,894
than the Abominable Snowman.
189
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,463
You know,
my mother was Jewish?
190
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,358
Hmm, well, that means
you're Jewish.
191
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:23,901
(SCREAMING)
192
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:29,296
-(ALL SCREAMING)
-(YELLING IN GERMAN)
193
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:37,342
(GASPS)
194
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,909
(YELLING IN GERMAN)
195
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,475
(SCREAMING)
196
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:49,116
(YELLING IN GERMAN)
197
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,892
(CRYING) Oh, my...
198
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:53,187
(ROARING)
199
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,496
(BONES CRUNCHING)
200
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,636
(GROWLING)
201
00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:17,554
I don't know why
everyone is in such a mood.
202
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:20,921
If you wanted shotgun,
you should have just
called shotgun.
203
00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:33,429
I went there and
I was skiing, and, um...
204
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:36,033
Skiing wasn't
the difficult part.
205
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,596
The difficult part
is stopping.
206
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:40,305
So, I'm coming down
this little mountain,
207
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,907
and this is
the second big mountain,
208
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:44,708
sliding down,
balancing myself out...
209
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:46,981
You know, I was good
at really balancing myself.
210
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,150
So I'm coming down,
and as soon as
I came down the hill,
211
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,420
I hit the concrete.
212
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,118
And once the ski
hit the concrete,
213
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,220
it stops and you keep going.
214
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,022
And, so, that's what
happened to me.
15776
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