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1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,670
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,770
(MARQUESS HUMMING)
3
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:53,787
Ah! These azaleas
are coming along beautifully.
4
00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:55,288
-How's my pot?
-What!
5
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,519
-Huh?
-You planted marijuana
in my garden?
6
00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:59,685
Well, uh,
medical marijuana, yes.
7
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,363
Oh, oh.
For your "glaucoma."
8
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:06,803
As a matter of fact, yes,
I have a lot of glaucoma.
9
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:08,471
Hey, we got another mystery.
10
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:09,869
Come on,
let's see what it says.
11
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,240
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where's Michael?
12
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,809
What the hell are you doing?
13
00:01:20,815 --> 00:01:22,375
Takin' a oatmeal bath, man.
14
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:24,423
I'm having some
kind of allergic reaction.
15
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,048
I'm itching all over.
16
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:28,923
Michael, I don't think
you're supposed to cook
the oatmeal.
17
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,293
Well, what are you
allergic to?
18
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:32,161
Did you have
something weird for breakfast?
19
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:34,789
No, I had the same breakfast
I had for the last 10 years.
20
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,095
A couple blueberries,
21
00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:38,197
some Greek yogurt
and a roasted goat.
22
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,299
Wait. I thought
you were a vegetarian!
23
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:42,671
Greek yogurt
is vegetarian, Marquess.
24
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,300
Guys, what about the mystery?
25
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,705
Forget that mystery, Yung.
I got my own mystery to solve.
26
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:48,007
Ugh.
27
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,838
What are these bites
all over my body?
28
00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:52,244
Oh, man, I'm dying.
Jesus Christ.
29
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:54,576
Dad, you need to see a doctor.
We'll take you.
30
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:55,952
-PIGEON: Not me.
-Why?
31
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,880
Ah, I like when I have
the house to myself.
32
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,175
What do you when we're gone?
33
00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:00,846
You know what?
No, don't answer that.
34
00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:02,145
-I jack off!
-Oh, God...
35
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,986
I literally said,
"Don't answer that."
36
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,161
PIGEON: Oh, yeah.
37
00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:07,529
Oh, hey,
is oatmeal vegetarian?
38
00:02:12,398 --> 00:02:15,028
Hmm.
They look like mite bites.
39
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,835
What are mite bites?
40
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,697
You should ask
Evander Holyfield that.
41
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,606
He's very familiar
with Mike bites.
42
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:23,078
(LAUGHING)
43
00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:29,884
No, not Mike bites.
44
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:31,754
Mite bites.
45
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:36,392
Mites, they are tiny insects
that live on other animals
like rats.
46
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:37,790
Do you have any rats?
47
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,731
What do you think?
You think I'm dirty?
48
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:40,957
I live in a dirty house?
49
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,261
You better watch it, Doc,
50
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,233
or you're gonna get
some Mike bites.
51
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:44,931
Dad.
52
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,202
Do you have any pets?
53
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,700
No. Oh, wait.
I have a pet bear.
54
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,272
-What?
-We do?
55
00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:52,441
I haven't seen him in a while,
maybe he's hibernating.
56
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:54,669
Any birds in the house?
57
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,775
Mites are commonly
found on birds.
58
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,807
Nope. No birds in my house.
59
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,482
Dad, what about Pigeon?
60
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,051
-Who's Pigeon.
-Oh, oh.
61
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,279
He's a bird that lives
in the house with me.
62
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,185
His bedroom is next
to my bedroom.
63
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:09,047
We're always together.
We share the same brush.
64
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,916
In my opinion, that's
what's causing your bites.
65
00:03:11,926 --> 00:03:13,456
So, what do I do?
66
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,490
If I were you, I'd remove
the pigeon from your home.
67
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:18,456
Oh, man. Poor Pigeon.
68
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:20,195
Is there anything else
I can help you with?
69
00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:22,431
Do you think I'd be
a candidate for fillers?
70
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:25,136
I just feel like I look
tired all the time.
71
00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:31,205
Hmm. You know what?
I'll schedule an appointment.
72
00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:35,852
Oh, man. How am I gonna tell
Pigeon he's gotta move out?
73
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:38,449
All right, all right.
Maybe I could
just tell him a lie?
74
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,222
I could tell him
my sick Grandma
must come to live with me,
75
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:43,292
and she's scared
of pigeons because, um...
76
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:46,690
Because of that time
when she was attacked
by a pigeon in World War II.
77
00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:47,834
-That's good.
-Hmm.
78
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,288
Yeah, that's what I'll say.
79
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:50,896
Michael, we've talked
about this kind of thing.
80
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,358
When you lie
you're saying that
81
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,596
your feelings don't matter,
but they do matter.
82
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:58,242
And you have to trust that
even if Pigeon is disappointed
in the moment,
83
00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:01,339
the truth won't
threaten your friendship.
84
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:02,512
(SIGHS)
85
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:11,846
What?
86
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,252
-(SIGHS)
-You can do it.
87
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,628
Um, hey, Pigeon...
88
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,598
Uh, I'm afraid
you can't live here anymore.
89
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,728
What?
90
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,303
What? Is this a joke?
91
00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:30,001
Is this because of the pot?
It's basically legal now.
92
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:32,444
No, it's not the pot.
93
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,609
Is it about the video
camera I hooked up
in Yung Hee's bathroom?
94
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:36,679
What?
95
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,207
No, it's not that.
96
00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:40,352
Is it because I put a roofie
in her soda last night?
97
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,577
-What?
-Calm down,
you didn't even drink it.
98
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,153
I wasted a perfectly
good roofie.
99
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,121
-Ugh.
-No.
100
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,150
Is it because I tried to take
all those up-skirt pictures
of Yung Hee?
101
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:49,685
-When?
-Right now.
102
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,960
I'm not even
wearing a skirt, you idiot.
103
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,889
Well, when you do,
I'll be ready.
104
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,594
No, it's not that either.
105
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,296
Well, then what is it?
106
00:04:57,298 --> 00:05:00,328
Just be honest.
He'll understand.
107
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,804
The reason you can't live here
anymore is because
108
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,273
you're a disgusting,
filthy creature
109
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:05,771
with mites all over you
110
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:08,643
and they're biting me,
and I can't take it anymore.
111
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,012
Seriously?
112
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,780
You're kicking me out
of your house
113
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,709
because of your...bites?
114
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:16,054
You were the...heavyweight
champion of the world,
115
00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:17,650
and now you can't stand
a little itching?
116
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,851
You can't put some...
calamine lotion on there?
117
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,064
Well...you. Heh!
118
00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:26,527
I'm gonna go find
a better place to live
119
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,857
without a...ghost.
120
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:31,462
-Hey!
-With a...hot Asian.
121
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:32,395
Ugh.
122
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,129
I thought you people
were my friends.
123
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,204
I hope you all die!
124
00:05:39,872 --> 00:05:43,082
Okay. Well, that went well.
125
00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:44,377
PIGEON: P.S...
126
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,915
MARQUESS: Okay.
Well, it's been a long day,
127
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,291
we should all just go to bed.
128
00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:56,989
MIKE: I guess
if there's a silver lining,
129
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,990
it's that tomorrow
I'm gonna wake
up with no bites.
130
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:03,333
And at least I can go to sleep
tonight and not have to worry
about getting molested.
131
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:05,700
(CHUCKLES)
Well, I'm still here.
132
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,029
-(LAUGHS)
-(SIGHS)
133
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,174
Oh, I'm so sorry.
134
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,528
Oh, my goodness,
135
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,936
that's such a poor
attempt at humor.
136
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,369
Oh, my...
137
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,544
See you all in the morning.
138
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,982
Hmm. It's probably going
to be awkward in the morning
139
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,578
because of that joke
I just made.
140
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,481
Why do you try
to be funny, hmm?
141
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,253
You have diarrhea
of the mouth.
142
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,581
This is why you don't
have any friends.
143
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,746
Ugh.
144
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:28,694
I'll be playing that scene
over and over all night.
145
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,219
I won't be able
to get any sleep.
146
00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,524
I'm gonna wake up
looking like hell.
147
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:34,585
Oh, I got to call
that dermatologist.
148
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,825
Well, I'm still here.
What were you thinking?
149
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,565
(PIGEON SIGHING)
150
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,768
Well, this sucks.
151
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,801
Ooh, I'm probably gonna
freeze to death out here.
152
00:06:49,275 --> 00:06:51,775
Didn't even charge my phone
before I left.
153
00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:58,615
God, I forgot my wallet.
154
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:01,286
What's this?
155
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:04,288
Huh, my last roofie.
156
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,655
Hmm.
157
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:09,190
Ah, well,
may as well pass out.
158
00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,727
Maybe I'll get date raped.
159
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,469
Huh.
160
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,468
Meh, better than
sitting on this bus bench.
161
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:18,436
(LAUGHING)
162
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,213
(DIALING)
163
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,316
YUNG: What's going on?
164
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,547
I'll tell you what's going on.
165
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,392
I woke up
and there's more bites.
166
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:34,717
So, it wasn't Pigeon?
167
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,461
Dr. Friedman,
what the hell, man?
168
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:39,587
I kicked out the pigeon
and I'm still getting bit.
169
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,893
What do you mean
you might have been wrong?
170
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,595
It could have been
an allergic reaction
to my detergent?
171
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,758
To my soap?
172
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,366
Where did you go to school at?
173
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,468
The university of
I don't know shit?
174
00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:52,941
Man, you made me
kick out my friend, man.
175
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,340
I hope you die.
176
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:56,311
Come on, we got to go
find that pigeon.
177
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:57,782
Morning.
178
00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,708
Oh. Uh...
179
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:01,613
How many times
do I have to apologize?
180
00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:02,605
I was kidding!
181
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,216
-It was a joke.
-(DOOR OPENS)
182
00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:05,748
-And I don't tell good jokes.
-(DOOR CLOSES)
183
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:09,894
(MICE SQUEAKING)
184
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:12,757
PIGEON: Ah.
185
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:14,089
(DOG WHIMPERING)
186
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,964
PIGEON: What the...?
187
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,263
Huh. Where the hell am I?
188
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,564
(MONKEYS GIBBERING)
189
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,600
PIGEON: Oh, Jesus.
190
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:32,307
Uh, excuse me,
animal cruelty people, yeah.
191
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,382
-(BEAR GROWLING)
-Ahhh!
192
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:40,324
-(MONKEYS SHRIEKING)
-(ALARM BLARING)
193
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,515
(FROG CROAKING)
194
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,532
Uh, Diazepam.
195
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,771
Acepromazine.
196
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,227
Well, that sounds fun.
197
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:58,943
Man, no Pigeon.
198
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,939
And we went to every strip
club in Las Vegas.
199
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:04,941
Yeah, I don't know why we had
to stay so long at each one.
200
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,745
I miss Pigeon so much.
201
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:09,407
I'd give anything just
to see him one more time.
202
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,476
-Oh.
-Oh, my God.
203
00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:12,975
(GIRL ON LAPTOP MOANING)
204
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,886
Don't you people knock?
205
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,259
Pigeon, you're home!
206
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,717
Yeah, I'll be out
of here soon.
207
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,455
I just came home
to get some stuff.
208
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:23,460
Then why are you masturbating
on my computer?
209
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:24,633
Oh.
Well, my phone is charging,
210
00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:25,861
what am I supposed to do?
211
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,366
No, Pigeon, you can stay.
212
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,527
Turns out you're not
the cause of my bites.
213
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:32,436
And even if you were,
I wouldn't want you to leave.
214
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,514
-(BEAR GROWLING)
-(YUNG SCREAMS)
215
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:40,110
Barry, I missed you.
216
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:43,483
I promise from now on
I'll take better care of you.
217
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,483
Oh, man, that reminds me,
218
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,985
I forgot to feed
my pet mosquitoes.
219
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,591
(MOSQUITOES WHINING)
220
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,555
You keep mosquitoes
in your bedroom?
221
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,701
Yeah.
The sound helps me sleep.
222
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,827
Dad, these mosquitoes
are biting you.
223
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,732
You're gonna have
to get rid of 'em.
224
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,470
(SIGHS)
225
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:05,469
Okay. Can you give me
a moment, please?
226
00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:11,314
Okay, mosquitoes,
here's the thing.
227
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:14,581
My sick grandmother is coming
to town from World War II
228
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:17,121
and she's allergic
to mosquitoes.
229
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,347
Okay. Well, baby steps.
230
00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:21,053
At least
we solved the mystery.
231
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,354
(GASPS)
232
00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:24,016
Oh, no. We forgot
about this mystery.
233
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,024
I hope it wasn't
time sensitive.
234
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,386
"Dear Mike Tyson,
235
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:30,304
"this is extremely
time sensitive.
236
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:33,157
"I have discovered
an armed nuclear device
237
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,666
"hidden inside
the Hoover Dam."
238
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,728
(GASPS)
239
00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,996
(EXPLOSION)
240
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,265
Goodbye, mosquitoes,
241
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:40,772
I'm really sorry
it didn't work out.
242
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:43,914
Good luck out there,
in that cold, cruel world.
243
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,980
-(SCREAMING)
-Dr. Friedman,
what the hell, man?
244
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,450
I hope you die!
245
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:50,975
(FROG CROAKING)
246
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:11,665
I really miss my cats.
I had a cat named Kenya.
247
00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:13,872
I had her for a long time,
probably 12 years
248
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:16,884
and then eventually, um,
she bit someone's hands off.
17729
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