Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Marquess: [ HUMMING ] >> Pigeon: OH, HEY, YOU MISSED SOMETHING THERE.

>> Pigeon: OH, HEY, YOU MISSED SOMETHING THERE. >> Marquess: WHERE?

SOMETHING THERE. >> Marquess: WHERE? OH.

>> Marquess: WHERE? OH. MATURE.

OH. MATURE. >> Mike: OOH!

MATURE. >> Mike: OOH! >> Pigeon: WHAT'S IT SAY?

>> Mike: OOH! >> Pigeon: WHAT'S IT SAY? >> Mike: JUST "OOOOOOOOOO!"

>> Pigeon: WHAT'S IT SAY? >> Mike: JUST "OOOOOOOOOO!" THIS MYSTERY SOUNDS FUN!

>> Mike: JUST "OOOOOOOOOO!" THIS MYSTERY SOUNDS FUN! >> Marquess: IT DOESN'T SAY

THIS MYSTERY SOUNDS FUN! >> Marquess: IT DOESN'T SAY "OOOOO."

>> Marquess: IT DOESN'T SAY "OOOOO." THOSE ARE ZEROES.

"OOOOO." THOSE ARE ZEROES. IT'S AN OLD IBM COMPUTER PUNCH

THOSE ARE ZEROES. IT'S AN OLD IBM COMPUTER PUNCH CARD.

IT'S AN OLD IBM COMPUTER PUNCH CARD. IT'S WRITTEN IN BINARY.

CARD. IT'S WRITTEN IN BINARY. >> Mike: OH, FOR DEAF PEOPLE.

IT'S WRITTEN IN BINARY. >> Mike: OH, FOR DEAF PEOPLE. >> Marquess: I THINK YOU MEAN

>> Mike: OH, FOR DEAF PEOPLE. >> Marquess: I THINK YOU MEAN BRAILLE, AND THAT'S FOR BLIND

>> Marquess: I THINK YOU MEAN BRAILLE, AND THAT'S FOR BLIND PEOPLE, NOT DEAF PEOPLE.

BRAILLE, AND THAT'S FOR BLIND PEOPLE, NOT DEAF PEOPLE. >> Mike: SO DEAF PEOPLE HAVE NO

PEOPLE, NOT DEAF PEOPLE. >> Mike: SO DEAF PEOPLE HAVE NO LANGUAGE?

>> Mike: SO DEAF PEOPLE HAVE NO LANGUAGE? WOW. THAT'S PRETTY SAD.

LANGUAGE? WOW. THAT'S PRETTY SAD. >> Yung Hee: NO, THEY SPEAK WITH

WOW. THAT'S PRETTY SAD. >> Yung Hee: NO, THEY SPEAK WITH THEIR HANDS.

>> Yung Hee: NO, THEY SPEAK WITH THEIR HANDS. >> Mike: LIKE MONKEYS?

THEIR HANDS. >> Mike: LIKE MONKEYS? >> Yung Hee: SORT OF.

>> Mike: LIKE MONKEYS? >> Yung Hee: SORT OF. IT SAYS "HELP ME."

>> Yung Hee: SORT OF. IT SAYS "HELP ME." SOMEONE AT IBM MUST BE IN

IT SAYS "HELP ME." SOMEONE AT IBM MUST BE IN TROUBLE!

SOMEONE AT IBM MUST BE IN TROUBLE! >> Mike: TIME-OUT, TIME-OUT.

TROUBLE! >> Mike: TIME-OUT, TIME-OUT. NUMBER ONE, IF YOU CAN READ

>> Mike: TIME-OUT, TIME-OUT. NUMBER ONE, IF YOU CAN READ COMPUTER CODE, IT MEANS YOU ARE

NUMBER ONE, IF YOU CAN READ COMPUTER CODE, IT MEANS YOU ARE A ROBOT, AND IF THAT'S SO, YOU

COMPUTER CODE, IT MEANS YOU ARE A ROBOT, AND IF THAT'S SO, YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME AND TOLD

A ROBOT, AND IF THAT'S SO, YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME AND TOLD ME THAT EARLIER.

SHOULD HAVE COME TO ME AND TOLD ME THAT EARLIER. AND NUMBER TWO, WHO IS IT THAT

ME THAT EARLIER. AND NUMBER TWO, WHO IS IT THAT NEEDS OUR HELP?

AND NUMBER TWO, WHO IS IT THAT NEEDS OUR HELP? >> Yung Hee: THAT'S THE MYSTERY.

NEEDS OUR HELP? >> Yung Hee: THAT'S THE MYSTERY. AND I'M NOT A ROBOT.

>> Yung Hee: THAT'S THE MYSTERY. AND I'M NOT A ROBOT. IT SAYS "HELP ME," SEE?

AND I'M NOT A ROBOT. IT SAYS "HELP ME," SEE? >> Mike: YOU DO NOT NEED TO HIDE

IT SAYS "HELP ME," SEE? >> Mike: YOU DO NOT NEED TO HIDE WHO YOU ARE, YANG.

>> Mike: YOU DO NOT NEED TO HIDE WHO YOU ARE, YANG. >> Yung Hee: YANG?

WHO YOU ARE, YANG. >> Yung Hee: YANG? >> Mike: I'M PROUD OF YOU NO

>> Yung Hee: YANG? >> Mike: I'M PROUD OF YOU NO MATTER HOW YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE

>> Mike: I'M PROUD OF YOU NO MATTER HOW YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE.

MATTER HOW YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE. LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY, R2-D2!

YOUR LIFE. LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY, R2-D2! BEEP BEEP!

LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY, R2-D2! BEEP BEEP! TO THE MYSTERY MOBILE!

BEEP BEEP! TO THE MYSTERY MOBILE! >> Pigeon: OH, SHIT, MARQUESS,

TO THE MYSTERY MOBILE! >> Pigeon: OH, SHIT, MARQUESS, LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED ANOTHER

>> Pigeon: OH, SHIT, MARQUESS, LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED ANOTHER ONE.

LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED ANOTHER ONE. >> Marquess: [ SIGHS ]

ONE. >> Marquess: [ SIGHS ] >> Yung Hee: IT'S YUNG.

>> Marquess: [ SIGHS ] >> Yung Hee: IT'S YUNG. [ HORN HONKS ]

>> Yung Hee: IT'S YUNG. [ HORN HONKS ] >> Mike: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON

[ HORN HONKS ] >> Mike: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

>> Mike: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? >> SORRY.

HERE? >> SORRY. THINGS ARE A LITTLE HECTIC WITH

>> SORRY. THINGS ARE A LITTLE HECTIC WITH THE BIG CHESS MATCH.

THINGS ARE A LITTLE HECTIC WITH THE BIG CHESS MATCH. >> Mike: CHESS MATCH?

THE BIG CHESS MATCH. >> Mike: CHESS MATCH? >> Pigeon: OH, I LOVE CHESS!

>> Mike: CHESS MATCH? >> Pigeon: OH, I LOVE CHESS! >> Yung Hee: REALLY?

>> Pigeon: OH, I LOVE CHESS! >> Yung Hee: REALLY? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

>> Yung Hee: REALLY? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. >> Pigeon: YEAH, THAT'S BECAUSE

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. >> Pigeon: YEAH, THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S A LIE.

>> Pigeon: YEAH, THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S A LIE. ALSO, I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH

IT'S A LIE. ALSO, I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH YOU GUYS.

ALSO, I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH YOU GUYS. >> Yung Hee: WHO'S PLAYING?

YOU GUYS. >> Yung Hee: WHO'S PLAYING? >> GARRY KASPAROV AND DEEP BLUE.

>> Yung Hee: WHO'S PLAYING? >> GARRY KASPAROV AND DEEP BLUE. >> Mike: DEEP BLUE?

>> GARRY KASPAROV AND DEEP BLUE. >> Mike: DEEP BLUE? ISN'T THAT JAY-Z AND BEYONCé'S

>> Mike: DEEP BLUE? ISN'T THAT JAY-Z AND BEYONCé'S KID?

ISN'T THAT JAY-Z AND BEYONCé'S KID? THEY MUST BE GOOD PARENTS 'CAUSE

KID? THEY MUST BE GOOD PARENTS 'CAUSE I THINK HE'S JUST A LITTLE BABY

THEY MUST BE GOOD PARENTS 'CAUSE I THINK HE'S JUST A LITTLE BABY AND HE'S ALREADY GOOD AT CHESS.

I THINK HE'S JUST A LITTLE BABY AND HE'S ALREADY GOOD AT CHESS. >> Yung Hee: DEEP BLUE IS A

AND HE'S ALREADY GOOD AT CHESS. >> Yung Hee: DEEP BLUE IS A COMPUTER.

>> Yung Hee: DEEP BLUE IS A COMPUTER. THEY'VE PLAYED TWICE BEFORE.

COMPUTER. THEY'VE PLAYED TWICE BEFORE. KASPAROV WON THE FIRST TIME AND

THEY'VE PLAYED TWICE BEFORE. KASPAROV WON THE FIRST TIME AND DEEP BLUE WON THE SECOND.

KASPAROV WON THE FIRST TIME AND DEEP BLUE WON THE SECOND. >> THIS IS THE TIE BREAKER.

DEEP BLUE WON THE SECOND. >> THIS IS THE TIE BREAKER. THEY'RE CALLING IT

>> THIS IS THE TIE BREAKER. THEY'RE CALLING IT "JUDGMENT DAY".

THEY'RE CALLING IT "JUDGMENT DAY". >> Mike: "JUDGMENT DAY"?

"JUDGMENT DAY". >> Mike: "JUDGMENT DAY"? THAT WAS THE NAME OF MY FIGHT

>> Mike: "JUDGMENT DAY"? THAT WAS THE NAME OF MY FIGHT WITH TREVOR BERBICK BACK IN '86.

THAT WAS THE NAME OF MY FIGHT WITH TREVOR BERBICK BACK IN '86. I REMEMBER TREVOR WANTED TO CALL

WITH TREVOR BERBICK BACK IN '86. I REMEMBER TREVOR WANTED TO CALL IT "THE ULTIMATE JUDGMENT DAY."

I REMEMBER TREVOR WANTED TO CALL IT "THE ULTIMATE JUDGMENT DAY." BUT I SAID "ULTIMATE" WOULD

IT "THE ULTIMATE JUDGMENT DAY." BUT I SAID "ULTIMATE" WOULD MEAN THERE'S ALREADY BEEN A

BUT I SAID "ULTIMATE" WOULD MEAN THERE'S ALREADY BEEN A JUDGMENT DAY, SO WHY WOULD YOU

MEAN THERE'S ALREADY BEEN A JUDGMENT DAY, SO WHY WOULD YOU HAVE ANOTHER JUDGMENT DAY?

JUDGMENT DAY, SO WHY WOULD YOU HAVE ANOTHER JUDGMENT DAY? IT'S A HAT ON A HAT!

HAVE ANOTHER JUDGMENT DAY? IT'S A HAT ON A HAT! WHOA!

IT'S A HAT ON A HAT! WHOA! >> YOU WANTED TO CALL IT THE

WHOA! >> YOU WANTED TO CALL IT THE ULTIMATE JUDGMENT DAY!

>> YOU WANTED TO CALL IT THE ULTIMATE JUDGMENT DAY! AND I SAID IT'S A HAT ON A HAT,

ULTIMATE JUDGMENT DAY! AND I SAID IT'S A HAT ON A HAT, AND THEN I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO YOU

AND I SAID IT'S A HAT ON A HAT, AND THEN I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT THE EXPRESSION "HAT ON A

AND THEN I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT THE EXPRESSION "HAT ON A HAT" MEANT!

WHAT THE EXPRESSION "HAT ON A HAT" MEANT! >> Mike: "REST IN PEACE,"

HAT" MEANT! >> Mike: "REST IN PEACE," TREVOR BERBICK!

>> Mike: "REST IN PEACE," TREVOR BERBICK! [ TWINKLE! ]

TREVOR BERBICK! [ TWINKLE! ] THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME THAT,

[ TWINKLE! ] THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME THAT, MARQUESS.

THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME THAT, MARQUESS. >> Marquess: JUST DON'T USE IT

MARQUESS. >> Marquess: JUST DON'T USE IT ON ME.

>> Marquess: JUST DON'T USE IT ON ME. >> GO AHEAD. LET 'EM IN.

ON ME. >> GO AHEAD. LET 'EM IN. >> YES, SIR, MR. WATSON.

>> GO AHEAD. LET 'EM IN. >> YES, SIR, MR. WATSON. >> HMM.

>> YES, SIR, MR. WATSON. >> HMM. I DON'T REMEMBER INVITING

>> HMM. I DON'T REMEMBER INVITING MIKE TYSON, BUT WE NEED ALL THE

I DON'T REMEMBER INVITING MIKE TYSON, BUT WE NEED ALL THE CELEBRITIES WE CAN GET.

MIKE TYSON, BUT WE NEED ALL THE CELEBRITIES WE CAN GET. GET SOME BUZZ!

CELEBRITIES WE CAN GET. GET SOME BUZZ! ANYTHING TO JACK UP THAT STOCK

GET SOME BUZZ! ANYTHING TO JACK UP THAT STOCK PRICE!

ANYTHING TO JACK UP THAT STOCK PRICE! [ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ]

PRICE! [ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ] NO, THE ONLY ONE WHO RSVP'd IS

[ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ] NO, THE ONLY ONE WHO RSVP'd IS THAT GAL FROM THAT SHOW ABOUT

NO, THE ONLY ONE WHO RSVP'd IS THAT GAL FROM THAT SHOW ABOUT THE POLICEMEN IN THE NAVY WHO

THAT GAL FROM THAT SHOW ABOUT THE POLICEMEN IN THE NAVY WHO SOLVE MURDERS -- "N.C.S.I."

THE POLICEMEN IN THE NAVY WHO SOLVE MURDERS -- "N.C.S.I." [ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ]

SOLVE MURDERS -- "N.C.S.I." [ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ] "N.C.I.S."? ARE YOU SURE?

[ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ] "N.C.I.S."? ARE YOU SURE? [ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ]

"N.C.I.S."? ARE YOU SURE? [ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ] WELL, I DON'T KNOW HER NAME.

[ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ] WELL, I DON'T KNOW HER NAME. SHE'S THAT BIG 'OL GOTH GIRL.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW HER NAME. SHE'S THAT BIG 'OL GOTH GIRL. [ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ]

SHE'S THAT BIG 'OL GOTH GIRL. [ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ] I DON'T KNOW!

[ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ] I DON'T KNOW! I G-GUESS SHE'S A BIG CHESS FAN.

I DON'T KNOW! I G-GUESS SHE'S A BIG CHESS FAN. JESUS!

I G-GUESS SHE'S A BIG CHESS FAN. JESUS! [ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ]

JESUS! [ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ] YES, YOU CAN MEET HER.

[ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ] YES, YOU CAN MEET HER. HELL, I DON'T GOT TIME FOR THIS.

YES, YOU CAN MEET HER. HELL, I DON'T GOT TIME FOR THIS. I'M THOMAS WATSON, THE FOUNDER

HELL, I DON'T GOT TIME FOR THIS. I'M THOMAS WATSON, THE FOUNDER AND C.E.O. OF IBM.

I'M THOMAS WATSON, THE FOUNDER AND C.E.O. OF IBM. NOW GET YOUR GAME FACE ON,

AND C.E.O. OF IBM. NOW GET YOUR GAME FACE ON, DEEP BLUE.

NOW GET YOUR GAME FACE ON, DEEP BLUE. DON'T FORGET GARRY KASPAROV IS A

DEEP BLUE. DON'T FORGET GARRY KASPAROV IS A CHESS GRANDMASTER.

DON'T FORGET GARRY KASPAROV IS A CHESS GRANDMASTER. YOU SCREW AROUND AND HE'LL

CHESS GRANDMASTER. YOU SCREW AROUND AND HE'LL CHECKMATE YOU BEFORE YOU CAN SAY

YOU SCREW AROUND AND HE'LL CHECKMATE YOU BEFORE YOU CAN SAY "BEEP BEEP."

CHECKMATE YOU BEFORE YOU CAN SAY "BEEP BEEP." [ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ]

"BEEP BEEP." [ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ] OH, YOU BETTER WIN.

[ DEEP BLUE BEEPS ] OH, YOU BETTER WIN. AND THAT STOCK PRICE BETTER GO

OH, YOU BETTER WIN. AND THAT STOCK PRICE BETTER GO UP.

AND THAT STOCK PRICE BETTER GO UP. OR MAYBE YOU'RE THE ONE WHOSE

UP. OR MAYBE YOU'RE THE ONE WHOSE MURDER THOSE NAVY POLICEMEN WILL

OR MAYBE YOU'RE THE ONE WHOSE MURDER THOSE NAVY POLICEMEN WILL HAVE TO SOLVE.

DEEP BLUE, DID YOU JUST SHIT ON MY CARPET?! [ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ]

MY CARPET?! [ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ] >> Mike: WHOA!

[ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ] >> Mike: WHOA! I DIDN'T KNOW CHESS MATCHES WERE

>> Mike: WHOA! I DIDN'T KNOW CHESS MATCHES WERE SO FANCY.

I DIDN'T KNOW CHESS MATCHES WERE SO FANCY. >> Marquess: PERHAPS YOU SHOULD

SO FANCY. >> Marquess: PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE WORN YOUR TUXEDO TRACK SUIT

>> Marquess: PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE WORN YOUR TUXEDO TRACK SUIT INSTEAD OF YOUR REGULAR TRACK

HAVE WORN YOUR TUXEDO TRACK SUIT INSTEAD OF YOUR REGULAR TRACK SUIT.

INSTEAD OF YOUR REGULAR TRACK SUIT. >> Mike: ARE YOU BEING CATTY,

SUIT. >> Mike: ARE YOU BEING CATTY, MARQUESS?

>> Mike: ARE YOU BEING CATTY, MARQUESS? COME ON.

MARQUESS? COME ON. >> Marquess: YES, SORRY.

COME ON. >> Marquess: YES, SORRY. I HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING WELL.

>> Marquess: YES, SORRY. I HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING WELL. >> Mike: IT'S OKAY.

I HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING WELL. >> Mike: IT'S OKAY. WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN SLEEPING

>> Mike: IT'S OKAY. WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN SLEEPING WELL?

WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN SLEEPING WELL? IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE A GHOST AND

WELL? IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE A GHOST AND YOU CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR

IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE A GHOST AND YOU CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR EYELIDS?

YOU CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR EYELIDS? >> Marquess: NO, YOU KNOW, I

EYELIDS? >> Marquess: NO, YOU KNOW, I JUST FIND, I CAN'T TURN MY BRAIN

>> Marquess: NO, YOU KNOW, I JUST FIND, I CAN'T TURN MY BRAIN OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY.

JUST FIND, I CAN'T TURN MY BRAIN OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY. YOU KNOW, I JUST -- I LIE THERE

OFF AT THE END OF THE DAY. YOU KNOW, I JUST -- I LIE THERE WORRYING ABOUT THE DUMBEST

YOU KNOW, I JUST -- I LIE THERE WORRYING ABOUT THE DUMBEST THINGS.

WORRYING ABOUT THE DUMBEST THINGS. IT'S RIDICULOUS, AND THE NEXT

THINGS. IT'S RIDICULOUS, AND THE NEXT DAY I'M TIRED AND A BITCH TO

IT'S RIDICULOUS, AND THE NEXT DAY I'M TIRED AND A BITCH TO EVERYONE AROUND ME AND -- UGH!

DAY I'M TIRED AND A BITCH TO EVERYONE AROUND ME AND -- UGH! I DON'T KNOW.

EVERYONE AROUND ME AND -- UGH! I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT.

I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT. >> Mike: THAT'S HORRIBLE.

I HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT. >> Mike: THAT'S HORRIBLE. HAVE YOU TRIED SLEEPING WITH A

>> Mike: THAT'S HORRIBLE. HAVE YOU TRIED SLEEPING WITH A PAD AND PEN NEXT TO YOUR BED SO

HAVE YOU TRIED SLEEPING WITH A PAD AND PEN NEXT TO YOUR BED SO YOU CAN WRITE DOWN THIS STUFF?

PAD AND PEN NEXT TO YOUR BED SO YOU CAN WRITE DOWN THIS STUFF? >> Marquess: YES.

YOU CAN WRITE DOWN THIS STUFF? >> Marquess: YES. >> Mike: HM-MM-MM-MM.

>> Marquess: YES. >> Mike: HM-MM-MM-MM. >> Yung Hee: GUYS, DO YOU

>> Mike: HM-MM-MM-MM. >> Yung Hee: GUYS, DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR?

>> Yung Hee: GUYS, DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR? >> Both: NO.

REMEMBER WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR? >> Both: NO. >> Pigeon: THE OPEN BAR.

>> Both: NO. >> Pigeon: THE OPEN BAR. [ HUMMING ]

>> Pigeon: THE OPEN BAR. [ HUMMING ] >> Yung Hee: WE HAVE TO FIND OUT

[ HUMMING ] >> Yung Hee: WE HAVE TO FIND OUT WHO SENT THE "HELP ME" NOTE!

>> Yung Hee: WE HAVE TO FIND OUT WHO SENT THE "HELP ME" NOTE! OH, WOW!

WHO SENT THE "HELP ME" NOTE! OH, WOW! THERE'S GARRY KASPAROV.

OH, WOW! THERE'S GARRY KASPAROV. >> Mike: MAYBE HE'S THE ONE THAT

THERE'S GARRY KASPAROV. >> Mike: MAYBE HE'S THE ONE THAT NEED HELP!

>> Mike: MAYBE HE'S THE ONE THAT NEED HELP! I GOT YOUR NOTE.

NEED HELP! I GOT YOUR NOTE. "HELP ME."

I GOT YOUR NOTE. "HELP ME." >> WHAT DO YOU NEED HELP WITH?

"HELP ME." >> WHAT DO YOU NEED HELP WITH? >> Mike: HUH?

>> WHAT DO YOU NEED HELP WITH? >> Mike: HUH? I DON'T NEED HELP!

>> Mike: HUH? I DON'T NEED HELP! DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED HELP?

I DON'T NEED HELP! DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED HELP? >> WELL, YOU HAVE QUESTION MARK

DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED HELP? >> WELL, YOU HAVE QUESTION MARK ON YOUR PAJAMAS.

>> WELL, YOU HAVE QUESTION MARK ON YOUR PAJAMAS. MAYBE YOU ARE LOST?

ON YOUR PAJAMAS. MAYBE YOU ARE LOST? >> Mike: NO, MAN.

MAYBE YOU ARE LOST? >> Mike: NO, MAN. DO YOU NEED HELP?

>> Mike: NO, MAN. DO YOU NEED HELP? >> I-I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

DO YOU NEED HELP? >> I-I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY WOULD I NEED HELP?

>> I-I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY WOULD I NEED HELP? >> Mike: I DON'T KNOW!

WHY WOULD I NEED HELP? >> Mike: I DON'T KNOW! TO BEAT THE COMPUTER MAN?

>> Mike: I DON'T KNOW! TO BEAT THE COMPUTER MAN? >> I NEED NO HELP TO BEAT

TO BEAT THE COMPUTER MAN? >> I NEED NO HELP TO BEAT COMPUTER.

>> I NEED NO HELP TO BEAT COMPUTER. LAST TIME, THEY CHEAT.

COMPUTER. LAST TIME, THEY CHEAT. NO MACHINE CAN BEAT ME.

LAST TIME, THEY CHEAT. NO MACHINE CAN BEAT ME. I'M A GRANDMASTER.

NO MACHINE CAN BEAT ME. I'M A GRANDMASTER. >> Mike: YOU'RE WHAT?

I'M A GRANDMASTER. >> Mike: YOU'RE WHAT? >> I AM A GRANDMASTER.

>> Mike: YOU'RE WHAT? >> I AM A GRANDMASTER. [ CROWD GASPS ]

>> I AM A GRANDMASTER. [ CROWD GASPS ] >> Yung Hee: DAD!

[ CROWD GASPS ] >> Yung Hee: DAD! >> Marquess: WHY ON EARTH DID

>> Yung Hee: DAD! >> Marquess: WHY ON EARTH DID YOU DO THAT?

>> Marquess: WHY ON EARTH DID YOU DO THAT? >> Mike: I'M SORRY, MARQUESS.

YOU DO THAT? >> Mike: I'M SORRY, MARQUESS. BUT WHEN I PROMISED TO PUT MY

>> Mike: I'M SORRY, MARQUESS. BUT WHEN I PROMISED TO PUT MY FISTS DOWN FOR NO MORE

BUT WHEN I PROMISED TO PUT MY FISTS DOWN FOR NO MORE DESTRUCTION ANYMORE, I HAD MY

FISTS DOWN FOR NO MORE DESTRUCTION ANYMORE, I HAD MY FINGERS CROSSED FOR TWO

DESTRUCTION ANYMORE, I HAD MY FINGERS CROSSED FOR TWO EXCEPTIONS -- IF I EVER GOT PUT

FINGERS CROSSED FOR TWO EXCEPTIONS -- IF I EVER GOT PUT IN A TIME MACHINE, I WOULD

EXCEPTIONS -- IF I EVER GOT PUT IN A TIME MACHINE, I WOULD DEFINITELY DESTRUCT

IN A TIME MACHINE, I WOULD DEFINITELY DESTRUCT ADOLF HITLER, AND THE SAME TIME

DEFINITELY DESTRUCT ADOLF HITLER, AND THE SAME TIME FOR IF I EVER CAME FACE-TO-FACE

ADOLF HITLER, AND THE SAME TIME FOR IF I EVER CAME FACE-TO-FACE WITH THE GRANDMASTER OF THE

FOR IF I EVER CAME FACE-TO-FACE WITH THE GRANDMASTER OF THE KU KLUX KLAN.

WITH THE GRANDMASTER OF THE KU KLUX KLAN. >> Marquess: HE'S A GRANDMASTER,

KU KLUX KLAN. >> Marquess: HE'S A GRANDMASTER, NOT A GRAND WIZARD.

>> Marquess: HE'S A GRANDMASTER, NOT A GRAND WIZARD. OH, MY GOD.

NOT A GRAND WIZARD. OH, MY GOD. >> Mike: THEN WHAT THE [BLEEP]

OH, MY GOD. >> Mike: THEN WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS A GRANDMASTER?

>> Mike: THEN WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS A GRANDMASTER? >> OH [BLEEP]

IS A GRANDMASTER? >> OH [BLEEP] GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

>> OH [BLEEP] GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! THE MATCH IS ABOUT TO START!

GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! THE MATCH IS ABOUT TO START! WE'RE LIVE STREAMING!

THE MATCH IS ABOUT TO START! WE'RE LIVE STREAMING! THE STOCK PRICE, MAN!

WE'RE LIVE STREAMING! THE STOCK PRICE, MAN! [ GROWLS ]

THE STOCK PRICE, MAN! [ GROWLS ] NOW I GOT TO FIND SOMEONE TO

[ GROWLS ] NOW I GOT TO FIND SOMEONE TO PLAY THAT COMPUTER.

NOW I GOT TO FIND SOMEONE TO PLAY THAT COMPUTER. >> Yung Hee: I'LL DO IT.

PLAY THAT COMPUTER. >> Yung Hee: I'LL DO IT. [ CROWD GASPS ]

>> Yung Hee: I'LL DO IT. [ CROWD GASPS ] >> WHO ARE YOU?

[ CROWD GASPS ] >> WHO ARE YOU? >> Mike: SHE'S MY DAUGHTER.

>> WHO ARE YOU? >> Mike: SHE'S MY DAUGHTER. >> SHE DON'T LOOK LIKE YA.

>> Mike: SHE'S MY DAUGHTER. >> SHE DON'T LOOK LIKE YA. >> Mike: THAT'S BECAUSE SHE'S A

>> SHE DON'T LOOK LIKE YA. >> Mike: THAT'S BECAUSE SHE'S A ROBOT.

>> Mike: THAT'S BECAUSE SHE'S A ROBOT. [ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING, HEART

ROBOT. [ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING, HEART BEATING ]

>> Yung Hee: HMM... MMM... >> Pigeon: UNBELIEVABLE.

MMM... >> Pigeon: UNBELIEVABLE. THE BARTENDER SAYS I'M CUT OFF.

>> Pigeon: UNBELIEVABLE. THE BARTENDER SAYS I'M CUT OFF. WOULD YOU GO ORDER ME A

THE BARTENDER SAYS I'M CUT OFF. WOULD YOU GO ORDER ME A MOSCOW MULE?

WOULD YOU GO ORDER ME A MOSCOW MULE? >> Marquess: I'M NOT GETTING YOU

MOSCOW MULE? >> Marquess: I'M NOT GETTING YOU A DRINK.

>> Marquess: I'M NOT GETTING YOU A DRINK. >> Yung Hee: HMM...

A DRINK. >> Yung Hee: HMM... >> Pigeon: EH, SCREW THIS.

>> Yung Hee: HMM... >> Pigeon: EH, SCREW THIS. I GOTTA TAKE A PISS.

[ HUMMING ] [ HUMMING CONTINUES ] [ HUMMING CONTINUES ]

[ HUMMING CONTINUES ] [ HUMMING CONTINUES ] WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS THIS?!

[ HUMMING CONTINUES ] WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS THIS?! BOBBY FISCHER?

WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS THIS?! BOBBY FISCHER? WHERE THE HELL IS HIS BRAIN?

BOBBY FISCHER? WHERE THE HELL IS HIS BRAIN? [ DEEP BLUE BEEPING ]

WHERE THE HELL IS HIS BRAIN? [ DEEP BLUE BEEPING ] [ HEART BEATING ]

[ DEEP BLUE BEEPING ] [ HEART BEATING ] [ RAPID DINGING ]

[ HEART BEATING ] [ RAPID DINGING ] >> AHH! WE DID IT!

[ RAPID DINGING ] >> AHH! WE DID IT! WE DID IT!

>> AHH! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! THAT SETTLES IT!

WE DID IT! THAT SETTLES IT! COMPUTERS ARE BETTER THAN

THAT SETTLES IT! COMPUTERS ARE BETTER THAN PEOPLE!

COMPUTERS ARE BETTER THAN PEOPLE! HA-HA!

PEOPLE! HA-HA! THE SINGULARITY, BABY!

HA-HA! THE SINGULARITY, BABY! >> Yung Hee: UCH, I MADE A DUMB

THE SINGULARITY, BABY! >> Yung Hee: UCH, I MADE A DUMB MOVE.

>> Yung Hee: UCH, I MADE A DUMB MOVE. >> Mike: DON'T SWEAT IT, HONEY.

MOVE. >> Mike: DON'T SWEAT IT, HONEY. ALL THAT ROBOT CAN DO IS PLAY

>> Mike: DON'T SWEAT IT, HONEY. ALL THAT ROBOT CAN DO IS PLAY CHESS.

ALL THAT ROBOT CAN DO IS PLAY CHESS. YOU CAN DO SO MUCH MORE.

CHESS. YOU CAN DO SO MUCH MORE. >> Yung Hee: DAD, I'M REALLY NOT

YOU CAN DO SO MUCH MORE. >> Yung Hee: DAD, I'M REALLY NOT A ROBOT.

>> Yung Hee: DAD, I'M REALLY NOT A ROBOT. >> [ CHANTING "IBM" ]

A ROBOT. >> [ CHANTING "IBM" ] >> Pigeon: HEY.

>> [ CHANTING "IBM" ] >> Pigeon: HEY. I THINK THAT GUY PUT

>> Pigeon: HEY. I THINK THAT GUY PUT BOBBY FISCHER'S BRAIN INSIDE

I THINK THAT GUY PUT BOBBY FISCHER'S BRAIN INSIDE THAT COMPUTER.

BOBBY FISCHER'S BRAIN INSIDE THAT COMPUTER. >> Marquess: WHAT?

THAT COMPUTER. >> Marquess: WHAT? >> Pigeon: YEAH, I'M TELLING

>> Marquess: WHAT? >> Pigeon: YEAH, I'M TELLING YOU, THEY GOT A GUY'S BRAIN IN

>> Pigeon: YEAH, I'M TELLING YOU, THEY GOT A GUY'S BRAIN IN THAT THING.

YOU, THEY GOT A GUY'S BRAIN IN THAT THING. >> Marquess: YOU'RE DRUNK.

THAT THING. >> Marquess: YOU'RE DRUNK. >> Pigeon: YEAH. AM I?

>> Marquess: YOU'RE DRUNK. >> Pigeon: YEAH. AM I? >> Marquess: YES.

>> Pigeon: YEAH. AM I? >> Marquess: YES. >> Pigeon: HMPH.

>> Marquess: YES. >> Pigeon: HMPH. GOTTA GET SOMEONE TO OPEN UP

>> Pigeon: HMPH. GOTTA GET SOMEONE TO OPEN UP THAT COMPUTER.

GOTTA GET SOMEONE TO OPEN UP THAT COMPUTER. HEY, MIKE!

THAT COMPUTER. HEY, MIKE! THAT COMPUTER IS REALLY A TIME

HEY, MIKE! THAT COMPUTER IS REALLY A TIME MACHINE, AND INSIDE IT IS

THAT COMPUTER IS REALLY A TIME MACHINE, AND INSIDE IT IS ADOLF HITLER.

MACHINE, AND INSIDE IT IS ADOLF HITLER. >> Mike: [ GRUNTS ]

ADOLF HITLER. >> Mike: [ GRUNTS ] [ CROWD GASPS ]

>> Mike: [ GRUNTS ] [ CROWD GASPS ] >> [ Mechanical voice ] THANK

[ CROWD GASPS ] >> [ Mechanical voice ] THANK YOU.

>> [ Mechanical voice ] THANK YOU. I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD GET

YOU. I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD GET MY NOTE.

I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD GET MY NOTE. ALL THESE YEARS I THOUGHT SURELY

MY NOTE. ALL THESE YEARS I THOUGHT SURELY THERE ARE PEOPLE SEARCHING FOR

ALL THESE YEARS I THOUGHT SURELY THERE ARE PEOPLE SEARCHING FOR ME, SEARCHING FOR BOBBY FISCHER,

THERE ARE PEOPLE SEARCHING FOR ME, SEARCHING FOR BOBBY FISCHER, BUT THEY NEVER CAME!

ME, SEARCHING FOR BOBBY FISCHER, BUT THEY NEVER CAME! GOD BLESS YOU, MIKE TYSON!

NOW I CAN REST IN PEACE. [ SPLAT! ] [ CROWD GASPS ]

[ SPLAT! ] [ CROWD GASPS ] >> Mike: OH [BLEEP]

[ CROWD GASPS ] >> Mike: OH [BLEEP] >> [ LAUGHS ]

>> Mike: OH [BLEEP] >> [ LAUGHS ] WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?!

>> [ LAUGHS ] WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?! THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?! THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE. > Mike: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE. > Mike: ARE YOU SERIOUS? ADOLF HITLER'S BRAIN IS ON THE

> Mike: ARE YOU SERIOUS? ADOLF HITLER'S BRAIN IS ON THE FLOOR.

ADOLF HITLER'S BRAIN IS ON THE FLOOR. >> Marquess: WAIT -- WAIT A

FLOOR. >> Marquess: WAIT -- WAIT A SECOND.

>> Marquess: WAIT -- WAIT A SECOND. IBM WAS FOUNDED IN 1914.

SECOND. IBM WAS FOUNDED IN 1914. SHOULDN'T YOU BE DEAD?

IBM WAS FOUNDED IN 1914. SHOULDN'T YOU BE DEAD? >> [ LAUGHS ]

SHOULDN'T YOU BE DEAD? >> [ LAUGHS ] SMART GUY, HUH?

>> [ LAUGHS ] SMART GUY, HUH? WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULDA

SMART GUY, HUH? WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULDA KNOWN THAT "IBM" STANDS FOR

WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULDA KNOWN THAT "IBM" STANDS FOR INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS

KNOWN THAT "IBM" STANDS FOR INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS MAN-CHINES!

INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS MAN-CHINES! [ CROWD SCREAMS ]

MAN-CHINES! [ CROWD SCREAMS ] >> [ LAUGHING EVILLY ]

[ CROWD SCREAMS ] >> [ LAUGHING EVILLY ] [ GROWLS ]

>> [ LAUGHING EVILLY ] [ GROWLS ] [ CROWD GASPS ]

[ GROWLS ] [ CROWD GASPS ] >> Mike: CAN YOU DO THAT, TOO?

>> IBM STOCK CONTINUES TO FALL IN THE WAKE OF THE SCANDAL. WHILE THOMAS WATSON WILL FOREVER

IN THE WAKE OF THE SCANDAL. WHILE THOMAS WATSON WILL FOREVER BE REMEMBERED AS ONE OF THE

WHILE THOMAS WATSON WILL FOREVER BE REMEMBERED AS ONE OF THE GREAT LEADERS IN BUSINESS

BE REMEMBERED AS ONE OF THE GREAT LEADERS IN BUSINESS HISTORY, ROBOT THOMAS WATSON HAS

GREAT LEADERS IN BUSINESS HISTORY, ROBOT THOMAS WATSON HAS PROVEN A POOR STEWARD FOR THE

HISTORY, ROBOT THOMAS WATSON HAS PROVEN A POOR STEWARD FOR THE COMPANY AND THIS MORNING WAS

COMPANY AND THIS MORNING WAS VOTED OUT BY SHAREHOLDERS.

IN RELATED NEWS, CHESS CHAMPION GARRY KASPAROV HAS DIED.

GARRY KASPAROV HAS DIED. THE CAUSE WAS BLUNT FORCE

THE CAUSE WAS BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA.

TRAUMA. >> Mike: WELL, GANG, ANOTHER

>> Mike: WELL, GANG, ANOTHER MYSTERY SOLVED.

MYSTERY SOLVED. >> Marquess: WHAT ARE YOU

>> Marquess: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MICHAEL?

TALKING ABOUT, MICHAEL? YOU KILLED A MAN!

YOU KILLED A MAN! >> Mike: THAT WASN'T THE

>> Mike: THAT WASN'T THE MYSTERY, MARQUESS.

MYSTERY, MARQUESS. THAT WAS JUST A HAT ON A HAT.

THAT WAS JUST A HAT ON A HAT. >> THAT'S NOT WHAT THAT MEANS,

>> THAT'S NOT WHAT THAT MEANS, MAN!

MAN! >> Mike: REST IN PEACE,

>> Mike: REST IN PEACE, TREVOR BERBICK!

TREVOR BERBICK! [ TWINKLE! ]

[ TWINKLE! ] >> OH, MAN.