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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:04,671 [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] 2 00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:36,265 [ PIGEONS COOING ] 3 00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:41,511 >> Mike: AWW, MAN! LOOK AT ALL THESE PIGEONS IN HERE, MAN! 4 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,179 LOOK AT ALL THESE PIGEONS IN HERE, MAN! WE GETTING BEHIND AGAIN. 5 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:44,407 HERE, MAN! WE GETTING BEHIND AGAIN. OKAY, GUYS, LISTEN UP! 6 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:45,112 WE GETTING BEHIND AGAIN. OKAY, GUYS, LISTEN UP! [ BOOM! ] 7 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:46,582 OKAY, GUYS, LISTEN UP! [ BOOM! ] OH! MARQUESS, YOU SCARED THE 8 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:47,780 [ BOOM! ] OH! MARQUESS, YOU SCARED THE BEJESUS OUTTA ME, MAN! 9 00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:49,352 OH! MARQUESS, YOU SCARED THE BEJESUS OUTTA ME, MAN! WHY YOU GOTTA BE CREEPIN'? 10 00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,620 BEJESUS OUTTA ME, MAN! WHY YOU GOTTA BE CREEPIN'? >> Marquess: OH, SORRY. 11 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:51,678 WHY YOU GOTTA BE CREEPIN'? >> Marquess: OH, SORRY. DID IT DO THAT THING WITH THE 12 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:52,785 >> Marquess: OH, SORRY. DID IT DO THAT THING WITH THE EXPLOSION AND THE SMOKE AGAIN? 13 00:00:52,787 --> 00:00:53,847 DID IT DO THAT THING WITH THE EXPLOSION AND THE SMOKE AGAIN? I-I SWEAR, I AM NOT DOING IT 14 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:54,554 EXPLOSION AND THE SMOKE AGAIN? I-I SWEAR, I AM NOT DOING IT INTENTIONALLY. 15 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,645 I-I SWEAR, I AM NOT DOING IT INTENTIONALLY. >> Yung Hee: DAD, WHEN ARE YOU 16 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:56,786 INTENTIONALLY. >> Yung Hee: DAD, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LOOK AT THESE WITH ME? 17 00:00:56,791 --> 00:00:57,691 >> Yung Hee: DAD, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LOOK AT THESE WITH ME? >> Mike: LOOK AT WHAT? 18 00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:58,791 GOING TO LOOK AT THESE WITH ME? >> Mike: LOOK AT WHAT? >> Yung Hee: COLLEGE CATALOGS. 19 00:00:58,793 --> 00:00:59,663 >> Mike: LOOK AT WHAT? >> Yung Hee: COLLEGE CATALOGS. I HAVE TO APPLY SOON. 20 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:00,590 >> Yung Hee: COLLEGE CATALOGS. I HAVE TO APPLY SOON. >> Mike: NOT NOW, BABY. 21 00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:01,694 I HAVE TO APPLY SOON. >> Mike: NOT NOW, BABY. A PIGEON JUST BROUGHT IN A NEW 22 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:02,225 >> Mike: NOT NOW, BABY. A PIGEON JUST BROUGHT IN A NEW MESSAGE. 23 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:02,729 A PIGEON JUST BROUGHT IN A NEW MESSAGE. HEY, GUYS! 24 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,260 MESSAGE. HEY, GUYS! EVERY ONE OF THEM HAS A MESSAGE 25 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,625 HEY, GUYS! EVERY ONE OF THEM HAS A MESSAGE FROM SOMEONE THAT NEEDS OUR HELP 26 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:06,633 EVERY ONE OF THEM HAS A MESSAGE FROM SOMEONE THAT NEEDS OUR HELP SOLVING A MYSTERY. 27 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,204 FROM SOMEONE THAT NEEDS OUR HELP SOLVING A MYSTERY. >> Pigeon: MAYBE, BEFORE WE TAKE 28 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,502 SOLVING A MYSTERY. >> Pigeon: MAYBE, BEFORE WE TAKE ON THE NEXT MYSTERY, WE SOLVE 29 00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:10,873 >> Pigeon: MAYBE, BEFORE WE TAKE ON THE NEXT MYSTERY, WE SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF FIGURING OUT HOW 30 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,341 ON THE NEXT MYSTERY, WE SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF FIGURING OUT HOW TO TURN ME BACK INTO A HUMAN 31 00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:12,699 THE MYSTERY OF FIGURING OUT HOW TO TURN ME BACK INTO A HUMAN BEING. 32 00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:13,836 TO TURN ME BACK INTO A HUMAN BEING. I MEAN, I HAVE AN ACTUAL 33 00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:15,171 BEING. I MEAN, I HAVE AN ACTUAL INTEREST IN SOLVING THAT 34 00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:18,176 I MEAN, I HAVE AN ACTUAL INTEREST IN SOLVING THAT MYSTERY, UNLIKE EVERY OTHER ONE. 35 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:19,409 INTEREST IN SOLVING THAT MYSTERY, UNLIKE EVERY OTHER ONE. >> Yung Hee: YOU DESERVED TO BE 36 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,583 MYSTERY, UNLIKE EVERY OTHER ONE. >> Yung Hee: YOU DESERVED TO BE TURNED INTO A PIGEON BY YOUR 37 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,851 >> Yung Hee: YOU DESERVED TO BE TURNED INTO A PIGEON BY YOUR WIFE, BECAUSE YOU'RE DISGUSTING. 38 00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:22,749 TURNED INTO A PIGEON BY YOUR WIFE, BECAUSE YOU'RE DISGUSTING. >> Pigeon: EX-WIFE. 39 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:23,880 WIFE, BECAUSE YOU'RE DISGUSTING. >> Pigeon: EX-WIFE. AND YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING 40 00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,354 >> Pigeon: EX-WIFE. AND YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, YOU LITTLE 41 00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:26,292 AND YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, YOU LITTLE HOME-SCHOOLED WEIRDO. 42 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:27,517 ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, YOU LITTLE HOME-SCHOOLED WEIRDO. >> Yung Hee: WELL, I THINK THE 43 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,191 HOME-SCHOOLED WEIRDO. >> Yung Hee: WELL, I THINK THE MOST OBVIOUS MYSTERY TO SOLVE IS 44 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,620 >> Yung Hee: WELL, I THINK THE MOST OBVIOUS MYSTERY TO SOLVE IS WHO IS MY MOTHER AND WHY DID SHE 45 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:31,824 MOST OBVIOUS MYSTERY TO SOLVE IS WHO IS MY MOTHER AND WHY DID SHE LEAVE ME ON MIKE TYSON'S 46 00:01:31,826 --> 00:01:33,286 WHO IS MY MOTHER AND WHY DID SHE LEAVE ME ON MIKE TYSON'S DOORSTEP WHEN I WAS A BABY? 47 00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:34,734 LEAVE ME ON MIKE TYSON'S DOORSTEP WHEN I WAS A BABY? >> Pigeon: PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE 48 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:35,628 DOORSTEP WHEN I WAS A BABY? >> Pigeon: PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT YOU. 49 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:36,759 >> Pigeon: PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT YOU. THERE. MYSTERY SOLVED. 50 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,404 DIDN'T WANT YOU. THERE. MYSTERY SOLVED. >> Yung Hee: YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. 51 00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:39,329 THERE. MYSTERY SOLVED. >> Yung Hee: YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. >> Pigeon: I'M... 52 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,333 >> Yung Hee: YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. >> Pigeon: I'M... YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. 53 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,534 >> Pigeon: I'M... YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. >> Marquess: SHE'S NOT AN 54 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:42,225 YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. >> Marquess: SHE'S NOT AN "ASSHOLE." 55 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:43,496 >> Marquess: SHE'S NOT AN "ASSHOLE." AND THAT'S NOT HOW YOU TALK 56 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:44,544 "ASSHOLE." AND THAT'S NOT HOW YOU TALK AROUND A YOUNG LADY. 57 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:45,838 AND THAT'S NOT HOW YOU TALK AROUND A YOUNG LADY. >> Pigeon: WHY ARE YOU STILL 58 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:46,370 AROUND A YOUNG LADY. >> Pigeon: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? 59 00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:47,513 >> Pigeon: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED. 60 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:48,868 HERE? YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED. HE'S NO FUN, HE DOESN'T PARTY, 61 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,276 YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED. HE'S NO FUN, HE DOESN'T PARTY, HE DOESN'T BEAT UP RANDOM 62 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:50,677 HE'S NO FUN, HE DOESN'T PARTY, HE DOESN'T BEAT UP RANDOM PEOPLE. 63 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,208 HE DOESN'T BEAT UP RANDOM PEOPLE. YOU BASICALLY TURNED HIM INTO 64 00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:53,613 PEOPLE. YOU BASICALLY TURNED HIM INTO YOU, EXCEPT HE'S NOT A CLOSETED 65 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:54,354 YOU BASICALLY TURNED HIM INTO YOU, EXCEPT HE'S NOT A CLOSETED HOMOSEXUAL. 66 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,608 YOU, EXCEPT HE'S NOT A CLOSETED HOMOSEXUAL. >> Marquess: YOU KNOW WHAT? 67 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:56,916 HOMOSEXUAL. >> Marquess: YOU KNOW WHAT? [BLEEP] YOU. 68 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:58,377 >> Marquess: YOU KNOW WHAT? [BLEEP] YOU. >> Mike: THAT'S IT, TEAM. 69 00:01:58,385 --> 00:01:59,845 [BLEEP] YOU. >> Mike: THAT'S IT, TEAM. NOW WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE! 70 00:01:59,854 --> 00:02:01,524 >> Mike: THAT'S IT, TEAM. NOW WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE! OKAY, LET'S SEE WHAT MYSTERY WE 71 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,962 NOW WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE! OKAY, LET'S SEE WHAT MYSTERY WE HAVE TO SOLVE THIS WEEK. 72 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:05,917 OKAY, LET'S SEE WHAT MYSTERY WE HAVE TO SOLVE THIS WEEK. MAN, THAT'S A LOT OF WORDS! 73 00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:07,326 HAVE TO SOLVE THIS WEEK. MAN, THAT'S A LOT OF WORDS! "THE CEDAR WAS DAMP AND 74 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:08,228 MAN, THAT'S A LOT OF WORDS! "THE CEDAR WAS DAMP AND WOULDN'T LIGHT. 75 00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,599 "THE CEDAR WAS DAMP AND WOULDN'T LIGHT. A COYOTE YAPPED SOMEWHERE IN 76 00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:10,427 WOULDN'T LIGHT. A COYOTE YAPPED SOMEWHERE IN THE ARROYO." 77 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,201 A COYOTE YAPPED SOMEWHERE IN THE ARROYO." OH, MY GOD! 78 00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:12,598 THE ARROYO." OH, MY GOD! IT GOES ON FOREVER LIKE THIS. 79 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,330 OH, MY GOD! IT GOES ON FOREVER LIKE THIS. WHAT THE HELL? 80 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:15,525 IT GOES ON FOREVER LIKE THIS. WHAT THE HELL? >> Marquess: IT'S FROM 81 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:16,496 WHAT THE HELL? >> Marquess: IT'S FROM CORMAC McCARTHY. 82 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:17,374 >> Marquess: IT'S FROM CORMAC McCARTHY. >> Mike: WHO? 83 00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:18,801 CORMAC McCARTHY. >> Mike: WHO? >> Marquess: CORMAC McCARTHY. 84 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,206 >> Mike: WHO? >> Marquess: CORMAC McCARTHY. PULITZER PRIZE WINNER. 85 00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:21,267 >> Marquess: CORMAC McCARTHY. PULITZER PRIZE WINNER. FAMOUSLY RECLUSIVE. 86 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,835 PULITZER PRIZE WINNER. FAMOUSLY RECLUSIVE. >> Mike: WHY IS CARMA McARTHUR A 87 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:23,843 FAMOUSLY RECLUSIVE. >> Mike: WHY IS CARMA McARTHUR A RECLUSIVE AUTHOR? 88 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,584 >> Mike: WHY IS CARMA McARTHUR A RECLUSIVE AUTHOR? DID HIS FACE BURN OFF IN A FIRE 89 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:26,949 RECLUSIVE AUTHOR? DID HIS FACE BURN OFF IN A FIRE AND HE HAS A METAL FACE AND 90 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,677 DID HIS FACE BURN OFF IN A FIRE AND HE HAS A METAL FACE AND EVERYONE IS SCARED OF HIS FACE? 91 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:29,582 AND HE HAS A METAL FACE AND EVERYONE IS SCARED OF HIS FACE? >> Marquess: NO. 92 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,223 EVERYONE IS SCARED OF HIS FACE? >> Marquess: NO. >> Mike: OR MAYBE HE'S REALLY A 93 00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:32,348 >> Marquess: NO. >> Mike: OR MAYBE HE'S REALLY A ROBOT OR A MYTHOLOGICAL 94 00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:33,593 >> Mike: OR MAYBE HE'S REALLY A ROBOT OR A MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE LIKE A HORSE MAN. 95 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:34,817 ROBOT OR A MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE LIKE A HORSE MAN. I BET THAT'S THE MYSTERY. 96 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,422 CREATURE LIKE A HORSE MAN. I BET THAT'S THE MYSTERY. >> Marquess: CORMAC McCARTHY IS 97 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:37,263 I BET THAT'S THE MYSTERY. >> Marquess: CORMAC McCARTHY IS NOT A CENTAUR. 98 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,418 >> Marquess: CORMAC McCARTHY IS NOT A CENTAUR. THAT IS NOT THE MYSTERY. 99 00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:39,825 NOT A CENTAUR. THAT IS NOT THE MYSTERY. >> Mike: I DIDN'T SAY CENTAUR. 100 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:40,757 THAT IS NOT THE MYSTERY. >> Mike: I DIDN'T SAY CENTAUR. I SAID HORSE MAN. 101 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,291 >> Mike: I DIDN'T SAY CENTAUR. I SAID HORSE MAN. >> Yung Hee: IT SAYS HE CAN'T 102 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:43,726 I SAID HORSE MAN. >> Yung Hee: IT SAYS HE CAN'T FIND AN ENDING TO THE BOOK HE'S 103 00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:44,361 >> Yung Hee: IT SAYS HE CAN'T FIND AN ENDING TO THE BOOK HE'S WRITING. 104 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,725 FIND AN ENDING TO THE BOOK HE'S WRITING. >> Pigeon: AND HE THOUGHT HE'D 105 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,233 WRITING. >> Pigeon: AND HE THOUGHT HE'D TURN TO A RETIRED BOXER FOR 106 00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:47,574 >> Pigeon: AND HE THOUGHT HE'D TURN TO A RETIRED BOXER FOR HELP? 107 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:48,898 TURN TO A RETIRED BOXER FOR HELP? SO THE ACTUAL MYSTERY IS WHEN 108 00:02:48,903 --> 00:02:50,343 HELP? SO THE ACTUAL MYSTERY IS WHEN DID CORMAC McCARTHY LOSE HIS 109 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:50,637 SO THE ACTUAL MYSTERY IS WHEN DID CORMAC McCARTHY LOSE HIS MIND. 110 00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:51,538 DID CORMAC McCARTHY LOSE HIS MIND. >> Mike: COME ON. 111 00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:52,639 MIND. >> Mike: COME ON. IT'S TIME TO GET INTO THE 112 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,810 >> Mike: COME ON. IT'S TIME TO GET INTO THE MYSTERY MOBILE AND GO HELP 113 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,337 IT'S TIME TO GET INTO THE MYSTERY MOBILE AND GO HELP CORMAC McCARTHY WRITE AN ENDING 114 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:55,872 MYSTERY MOBILE AND GO HELP CORMAC McCARTHY WRITE AN ENDING TO HIS BOOK! 115 00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:56,906 CORMAC McCARTHY WRITE AN ENDING TO HIS BOOK! >> Pigeon: I CAN'T GO. 116 00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:58,441 TO HIS BOOK! >> Pigeon: I CAN'T GO. I HAVE AN INTERNET WHORE COMING 117 00:02:58,445 --> 00:02:59,005 >> Pigeon: I CAN'T GO. I HAVE AN INTERNET WHORE COMING OVER TONIGHT. 118 00:02:59,013 --> 00:02:59,913 I HAVE AN INTERNET WHORE COMING OVER TONIGHT. >> Yung Hee: UGH! 119 00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:01,384 OVER TONIGHT. >> Yung Hee: UGH! YOU KNOW, THE SECOND THEY SEE 120 00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,612 >> Yung Hee: UGH! YOU KNOW, THE SECOND THEY SEE YOU'RE A PIGEON, THEY'RE NOT 121 00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:03,716 YOU KNOW, THE SECOND THEY SEE YOU'RE A PIGEON, THEY'RE NOT GONNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU. 122 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,017 YOU'RE A PIGEON, THEY'RE NOT GONNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU. >> Pigeon: EH, EVERY ONCE IN A 123 00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:05,819 GONNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU. >> Pigeon: EH, EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE THEY DO. 124 00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,319 >> Pigeon: EH, EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE THEY DO. >> Mike: GET OFF YOUR ASS, 125 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:07,751 WHILE THEY DO. >> Mike: GET OFF YOUR ASS, PIGEON! 126 00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:09,345 >> Mike: GET OFF YOUR ASS, PIGEON! JUST LIKE THAT OLD SONG SAYS, 127 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,886 PIGEON! JUST LIKE THAT OLD SONG SAYS, "AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX. 128 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:11,721 JUST LIKE THAT OLD SONG SAYS, "AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX. I GOTTA FLY." 129 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,925 "AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX. I GOTTA FLY." ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD 130 00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:15,859 I GOTTA FLY." ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX ♪ 131 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:16,763 ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX ♪ ♪ I WANNA FLY ♪ 132 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,464 SEX ♪ ♪ I WANNA FLY ♪ >> Marquess: OKAY, THAT CAN'T BE 133 00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:18,855 ♪ I WANNA FLY ♪ >> Marquess: OKAY, THAT CAN'T BE A SONG. 134 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,526 >> Marquess: OKAY, THAT CAN'T BE A SONG. >> Mike: YEAH, THAT WAS A SONG. 135 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:21,834 A SONG. >> Mike: YEAH, THAT WAS A SONG. "AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD 136 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:22,565 >> Mike: YEAH, THAT WAS A SONG. "AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX," MAN. 137 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,600 "AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX," MAN. ♪ YES, DON'T HAVE NO TIME FOR 138 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:25,595 SEX," MAN. ♪ YES, DON'T HAVE NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX ♪ 139 00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,636 ♪ YES, DON'T HAVE NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX ♪ ♪ JUST TAKE ME ONE MORE TIME, 140 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:28,311 BIRD SEX ♪ ♪ JUST TAKE ME ONE MORE TIME, GIRL ♪ 141 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,809 ♪ JUST TAKE ME ONE MORE TIME, GIRL ♪ ♪ I'D RATHER LIE AND DIE, GIRL ♪ 142 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,611 GIRL ♪ ♪ I'D RATHER LIE AND DIE, GIRL ♪ ♪ NO MORE TIME FOR BIRD SEX ♪ 143 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,614 ♪ I'D RATHER LIE AND DIE, GIRL ♪ ♪ NO MORE TIME FOR BIRD SEX ♪ ♪ YEAHHHH ♪ 144 00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:41,653 >> Marquess: HMM. HERE'S AN INTERESTING FACT. ALTHOUGH MANY PEOPLE PRONOUNCE 145 00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:42,955 HERE'S AN INTERESTING FACT. ALTHOUGH MANY PEOPLE PRONOUNCE IT "PEW-LITZER," THE CORRECT 146 00:03:42,957 --> 00:03:44,317 ALTHOUGH MANY PEOPLE PRONOUNCE IT "PEW-LITZER," THE CORRECT PRONUNCIATION IS ACTUALLY 147 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:44,915 IT "PEW-LITZER," THE CORRECT PRONUNCIATION IS ACTUALLY "PULL-ITZER." 148 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,385 PRONUNCIATION IS ACTUALLY "PULL-ITZER." >> Pigeon: YOU REALLY THINK 149 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,663 "PULL-ITZER." >> Pigeon: YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S AN INTERESTING FACT? 150 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:48,061 >> Pigeon: YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S AN INTERESTING FACT? REALLY? 151 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,602 THAT'S AN INTERESTING FACT? REALLY? LIKE, YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S 152 00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:51,528 REALLY? LIKE, YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S INTERESTING? 153 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,532 LIKE, YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S INTERESTING? BECAUSE THE FACT THAT YOU REALLY 154 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:55,504 INTERESTING? BECAUSE THE FACT THAT YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S INTERESTING IS THE 155 00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:56,672 BECAUSE THE FACT THAT YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S INTERESTING IS THE INTERESTING FACT. 156 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:57,940 THINK THAT'S INTERESTING IS THE INTERESTING FACT. [ FOOTSTEPS APPROACH ] 157 00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:58,838 INTERESTING FACT. [ FOOTSTEPS APPROACH ] WHOA, COWBOY! 158 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,539 [ FOOTSTEPS APPROACH ] WHOA, COWBOY! >> Marquess: MY GOD, WHAT ARE 159 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:01,411 WHOA, COWBOY! >> Marquess: MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? 160 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,908 >> Marquess: MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? >> Mike: WHY, THE MAN WRITES 161 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:03,910 YOU WEARING? >> Mike: WHY, THE MAN WRITES ABOUT COWBOYS AND SHIT. 162 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,311 >> Mike: WHY, THE MAN WRITES ABOUT COWBOYS AND SHIT. >> Yung Hee: CAN WE PLEASE LOOK 163 00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:05,712 ABOUT COWBOYS AND SHIT. >> Yung Hee: CAN WE PLEASE LOOK AT THESE? 164 00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:06,913 >> Yung Hee: CAN WE PLEASE LOOK AT THESE? >> Mike: IS THAT THE BOOK WE'RE 165 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:07,954 AT THESE? >> Mike: IS THAT THE BOOK WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PUTTING AN 166 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:08,578 >> Mike: IS THAT THE BOOK WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PUTTING AN ENDING ON? 167 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,822 SUPPOSED TO BE PUTTING AN ENDING ON? >> Yung Hee: NO, THEY'RE COLLEGE 168 00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:10,417 ENDING ON? >> Yung Hee: NO, THEY'RE COLLEGE CATALOGS. 169 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,517 >> Yung Hee: NO, THEY'RE COLLEGE CATALOGS. YOU SAID YOU'D LOOK AT THEM 170 00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:11,848 CATALOGS. YOU SAID YOU'D LOOK AT THEM WITH ME. 171 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:12,682 YOU SAID YOU'D LOOK AT THEM WITH ME. >> Mike: NOT NOW! 172 00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:13,846 WITH ME. >> Mike: NOT NOW! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A DAMN 173 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,054 >> Mike: NOT NOW! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A DAMN MYSTERY, AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I 174 00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:16,385 WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A DAMN MYSTERY, AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU GOING AWAY TO 175 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:16,760 MYSTERY, AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU GOING AWAY TO COLLEGE! 176 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:17,887 FEEL ABOUT YOU GOING AWAY TO COLLEGE! >> Yung Hee: WELL, WE HAVE TO 177 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,021 COLLEGE! >> Yung Hee: WELL, WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT AT SOME POINT. 178 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:19,556 >> Yung Hee: WELL, WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT AT SOME POINT. I'M 18! 179 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,790 TALK ABOUT IT AT SOME POINT. I'M 18! >> Mike: 18? 180 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,594 I'M 18! >> Mike: 18? WHERE DID THE TIME GO? 181 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,526 >> Mike: 18? WHERE DID THE TIME GO? I REMEMBER IT LIKE IT WAS 182 00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:25,601 WHERE DID THE TIME GO? I REMEMBER IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY... 183 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,869 I REMEMBER IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY... YOU WERE JUST A LITTLE BABY BUT 184 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,998 YESTERDAY... YOU WERE JUST A LITTLE BABY BUT YOU TOLD ME, "STOP LIVING FOR 185 00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:30,774 YOU WERE JUST A LITTLE BABY BUT YOU TOLD ME, "STOP LIVING FOR YOURSELF." 186 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,541 YOU TOLD ME, "STOP LIVING FOR YOURSELF." >> Marquess: UM, OKAY, I, UH, I 187 00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:34,009 YOURSELF." >> Marquess: UM, OKAY, I, UH, I HATE TO BE A BITCH BUT, UM... 188 00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:35,068 >> Marquess: UM, OKAY, I, UH, I HATE TO BE A BITCH BUT, UM... BABIES CAN'T TALK. 189 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:36,635 HATE TO BE A BITCH BUT, UM... BABIES CAN'T TALK. WE -- WE KNOW THAT, RIGHT? 190 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,384 BABIES CAN'T TALK. WE -- WE KNOW THAT, RIGHT? SO, JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR, I WAS 191 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,809 WE -- WE KNOW THAT, RIGHT? SO, JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR, I WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU TO STOP 192 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:40,953 SO, JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR, I WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU TO STOP LIVING FOR YOURSELF. 193 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:41,778 THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU TO STOP LIVING FOR YOURSELF. THAT'S ALL. 194 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,682 LIVING FOR YOURSELF. THAT'S ALL. >> Pigeon: OH. 195 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,583 THAT'S ALL. >> Pigeon: OH. THAT'S GROSS THAT YOU FELT YOU 196 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:45,645 >> Pigeon: OH. THAT'S GROSS THAT YOU FELT YOU HAD TO SAY THAT. 197 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:46,893 THAT'S GROSS THAT YOU FELT YOU HAD TO SAY THAT. >> AH, SEÑOR TYSON! 198 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,747 HAD TO SAY THAT. >> AH, SEÑOR TYSON! >> Mike: HEY, GORTOG McCRAPPY, 199 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:49,956 >> AH, SEÑOR TYSON! >> Mike: HEY, GORTOG McCRAPPY, GREAT MEETING YOU. 200 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,487 >> Mike: HEY, GORTOG McCRAPPY, GREAT MEETING YOU. >> OH, NO, I'M RAFAEL. 201 00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:52,922 GREAT MEETING YOU. >> OH, NO, I'M RAFAEL. I WORK FOR MR. McCARTHY. 202 00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:54,786 >> OH, NO, I'M RAFAEL. I WORK FOR MR. McCARTHY. AND I'M AFRAID HE CAN'T JOIN 203 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:55,985 I WORK FOR MR. McCARTHY. AND I'M AFRAID HE CAN'T JOIN YOU THIS EVENING. 204 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,696 AND I'M AFRAID HE CAN'T JOIN YOU THIS EVENING. IT'S THE WRITER'S BLOCK. 205 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,668 YOU THIS EVENING. IT'S THE WRITER'S BLOCK. HE HAS NEVER HAD IT LIKE THIS. 206 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,497 IT'S THE WRITER'S BLOCK. HE HAS NEVER HAD IT LIKE THIS. THESE ARE COPIES OF HIS NEW 207 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:01,972 HE HAS NEVER HAD IT LIKE THIS. THESE ARE COPIES OF HIS NEW BOOK. 208 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:02,969 THESE ARE COPIES OF HIS NEW BOOK. I BEG OF YOU. 209 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,140 BOOK. I BEG OF YOU. HELP HIM FIND AN ENDING. 210 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:07,509 I BEG OF YOU. HELP HIM FIND AN ENDING. NOW I MUST LEAVE YOU FOR THERE'S 211 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,568 HELP HIM FIND AN ENDING. NOW I MUST LEAVE YOU FOR THERE'S A CHUPACABRA MOON OUT TONIGHT. 212 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,436 NOW I MUST LEAVE YOU FOR THERE'S A CHUPACABRA MOON OUT TONIGHT. >> Mike: A CAPACHAPA MOON? 213 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:12,535 A CHUPACABRA MOON OUT TONIGHT. >> Mike: A CAPACHAPA MOON? >> CHUPACABRA. 214 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,706 >> Mike: A CAPACHAPA MOON? >> CHUPACABRA. GOAT SUCKER. 215 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,415 >> CHUPACABRA. GOAT SUCKER. BUT IT WOULD LOVE NOTHING MORE 216 00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:17,917 GOAT SUCKER. BUT IT WOULD LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN TO SUCK ON MR. McCARTHY'S 217 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:21,818 BUT IT WOULD LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN TO SUCK ON MR. McCARTHY'S HORSES, ALL HIS PRETTY HORSES. 218 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,692 THAN TO SUCK ON MR. McCARTHY'S HORSES, ALL HIS PRETTY HORSES. >> Pigeon: [ GASPS ] 219 00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:25,762 HORSES, ALL HIS PRETTY HORSES. >> Pigeon: [ GASPS ] OH, MY GOD. 220 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,459 >> Pigeon: [ GASPS ] OH, MY GOD. >> Marquess: WHAT? 221 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,661 OH, MY GOD. >> Marquess: WHAT? >> Pigeon: SHE LOOKS EXACTLY 222 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,033 >> Marquess: WHAT? >> Pigeon: SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MY EX-WIFE. 223 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:38,741 >> Pigeon: SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MY EX-WIFE. OH, GOD, SANDRA! 224 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,739 LIKE MY EX-WIFE. OH, GOD, SANDRA! [ SIGHS ] 225 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,011 OH, GOD, SANDRA! [ SIGHS ] [ GRUNTS ] 226 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,509 [ SIGHS ] [ GRUNTS ] >> Marquess: PIGEON! WHAT -- 227 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,140 [ GRUNTS ] >> Marquess: PIGEON! WHAT -- [ GASPS ] OH! 228 00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:45,044 >> Marquess: PIGEON! WHAT -- [ GASPS ] OH! >> Yung Hee: OH! 229 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,905 [ GASPS ] OH! >> Yung Hee: OH! >> Marquess: SOMEONE! OH! 230 00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:50,045 >> Yung Hee: OH! >> Marquess: SOMEONE! OH! OH! OHH! 231 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,550 >> Marquess: SOMEONE! OH! OH! OHH! OH, PIGEON! 232 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,823 OH! OHH! OH, PIGEON! >> Pigeon: SO, WOULD YOU SAY THE 233 00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:57,022 OH, PIGEON! >> Pigeon: SO, WOULD YOU SAY THE "PEW-LITZER" MELTED IN THE FIRE 234 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,694 >> Pigeon: SO, WOULD YOU SAY THE "PEW-LITZER" MELTED IN THE FIRE OR WOULD YOU SAY THE 235 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,032 "PEW-LITZER" MELTED IN THE FIRE OR WOULD YOU SAY THE "PULL-ITZER" MELTED IN THE FIRE? 236 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:09,741 I'M LOOKING FOR ONE GOOD SEX SCENE TO JACK OFF TO BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP. 237 00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:11,637 SCENE TO JACK OFF TO BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP. BUT IT'S NOTHING BUT COWBOYS 238 00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,438 TO SLEEP. BUT IT'S NOTHING BUT COWBOYS TALKIN' TO OTHER COWBOYS! 239 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:14,740 BUT IT'S NOTHING BUT COWBOYS TALKIN' TO OTHER COWBOYS! McCARTHY'S A PRUDE. 240 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:15,872 TALKIN' TO OTHER COWBOYS! McCARTHY'S A PRUDE. HE'S NO UPDIKE. 241 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,936 McCARTHY'S A PRUDE. HE'S NO UPDIKE. I LIKE THOSE JOHN UPDIKE WOMEN, 242 00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:19,745 HE'S NO UPDIKE. I LIKE THOSE JOHN UPDIKE WOMEN, THOSE MIDDLE-AGED, TAN GALS. 243 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:20,907 I LIKE THOSE JOHN UPDIKE WOMEN, THOSE MIDDLE-AGED, TAN GALS. >> Mike: [ SIGHS ] 244 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,614 THOSE MIDDLE-AGED, TAN GALS. >> Mike: [ SIGHS ] WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO GO TO 245 00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:23,176 >> Mike: [ SIGHS ] WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE? 246 00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:25,153 WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE? I NEVER WENT TO COLLEGE, AND NOW 247 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:26,552 COLLEGE? I NEVER WENT TO COLLEGE, AND NOW I'M ABOUT TO HELP A 248 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,493 I NEVER WENT TO COLLEGE, AND NOW I'M ABOUT TO HELP A PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING NOVELIST 249 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,889 I'M ABOUT TO HELP A PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING NOVELIST WRITE A BOOK. 250 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:30,760 PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING NOVELIST WRITE A BOOK. HOW IS IT? 251 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,018 WRITE A BOOK. HOW IS IT? >> Pigeon: IT SUCKS. 252 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,585 HOW IS IT? >> Pigeon: IT SUCKS. >> Marquess: [ SIGHS ] 253 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:34,734 >> Pigeon: IT SUCKS. >> Marquess: [ SIGHS ] NO. I-IT'S FINE. 254 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,828 >> Marquess: [ SIGHS ] NO. I-IT'S FINE. IT'S JUST, UM... 255 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,029 NO. I-IT'S FINE. IT'S JUST, UM... THERE ARE NO QUOTE MARKS, SO I 256 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,160 IT'S JUST, UM... THERE ARE NO QUOTE MARKS, SO I JUST HAVE TO KEEP RE-READING 257 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:39,525 THERE ARE NO QUOTE MARKS, SO I JUST HAVE TO KEEP RE-READING SECTIONS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW 258 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:40,073 JUST HAVE TO KEEP RE-READING SECTIONS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHO'S TALKING. 259 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,767 SECTIONS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHO'S TALKING. [ MAN SCREAMS ] 260 00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:42,599 WHO'S TALKING. [ MAN SCREAMS ] >> OHH. 261 00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:44,073 [ MAN SCREAMS ] >> OHH. IT'S THE CHUPACABRA! 262 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,141 >> OHH. IT'S THE CHUPACABRA! I-IT BIT ME WITH ITS MOUTH! 263 00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:46,810 IT'S THE CHUPACABRA! I-IT BIT ME WITH ITS MOUTH! AY! 264 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,037 I-IT BIT ME WITH ITS MOUTH! AY! [ GROANING ] 265 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,941 AY! [ GROANING ] >> Yung Hee: OH, NO! 266 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,543 [ GROANING ] >> Yung Hee: OH, NO! >> OHH! 267 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:54,046 >> Yung Hee: OH, NO! >> OHH! >> Marquess: MICHAEL, WHY ARE 268 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:54,907 >> OHH! >> Marquess: MICHAEL, WHY ARE YOU SMILING? 269 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,745 >> Marquess: MICHAEL, WHY ARE YOU SMILING? >> Mike: BECAUSE NOW I KNOW WHAT 270 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,620 YOU SMILING? >> Mike: BECAUSE NOW I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO. 271 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,178 >> Mike: BECAUSE NOW I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO. I'M GONNA USE MY HEART TO HELP 272 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,646 I HAVE TO DO. I'M GONNA USE MY HEART TO HELP CROMAC FIND HIS ENDING. 273 00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,154 I'M GONNA USE MY HEART TO HELP CROMAC FIND HIS ENDING. BUT I'M GONNA USE MY FISTS TO 274 00:07:02,156 --> 00:07:03,686 CROMAC FIND HIS ENDING. BUT I'M GONNA USE MY FISTS TO BEAT THE [BLEEP] OUT OF A 275 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,120 BUT I'M GONNA USE MY FISTS TO BEAT THE [BLEEP] OUT OF A CHUPACARMA, THE ONLY THING I 276 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,825 BEAT THE [BLEEP] OUT OF A CHUPACARMA, THE ONLY THING I HAVE NEVER BEATEN THE [BLEEP] 277 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,927 CHUPACARMA, THE ONLY THING I HAVE NEVER BEATEN THE [BLEEP] OUT OF YET. 278 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,199 HAVE NEVER BEATEN THE [BLEEP] OUT OF YET. >> Yung Hee: DAD! 279 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:12,157 OUT OF YET. >> Yung Hee: DAD! >> Pigeon: "CHUPACABRA" IS A 280 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,466 >> Yung Hee: DAD! >> Pigeon: "CHUPACABRA" IS A REALLY TOUGH WORD FOR HIM. 281 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:24,635 >> Mike: [ PANTING ] OH, MAN, OH, MAN. IT'S SO [BLEEP] DARK! 282 00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:26,545 OH, MAN, OH, MAN. IT'S SO [BLEEP] DARK! I CAN'T SEE MY HAND IN FRONT OF 283 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:27,777 IT'S SO [BLEEP] DARK! I CAN'T SEE MY HAND IN FRONT OF MY FACE! 284 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,151 I CAN'T SEE MY HAND IN FRONT OF MY FACE! OHH! 285 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,280 MY FACE! OHH! OH, MAN, IT'S NEVER BEEN THIS 286 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:32,976 OHH! OH, MAN, IT'S NEVER BEEN THIS DARK! 287 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,716 OH, MAN, IT'S NEVER BEEN THIS DARK! OH SH-- OH, SH-- OHH. 288 00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,861 DARK! OH SH-- OH, SH-- OHH. OH, NO. WHAT IF I WENT BLIND? 289 00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:39,017 OH SH-- OH, SH-- OHH. OH, NO. WHAT IF I WENT BLIND? I CAN'T FACE LIFE IF I'M BLIND! 290 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:39,656 OH, NO. WHAT IF I WENT BLIND? I CAN'T FACE LIFE IF I'M BLIND! OH, YEAH! 291 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:40,890 I CAN'T FACE LIFE IF I'M BLIND! OH, YEAH! I'LL RELY ON MY OTHER SENSES! 292 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,234 OH, YEAH! I'LL RELY ON MY OTHER SENSES! I'LL RELY ON MY SENSE OF HUMOR! 293 00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,729 I'LL RELY ON MY OTHER SENSES! I'LL RELY ON MY SENSE OF HUMOR! I'LL SAY SHIT LIKE, "SO WHAT IF 294 00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:44,200 I'LL RELY ON MY SENSE OF HUMOR! I'LL SAY SHIT LIKE, "SO WHAT IF I'M BLIND?" 295 00:07:44,198 --> 00:07:45,758 I'LL SAY SHIT LIKE, "SO WHAT IF I'M BLIND?" AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT 296 00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:46,596 I'M BLIND?" AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT YOUR UGLY FACE!" 297 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,700 AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT YOUR UGLY FACE!" [ LAUGHS ] 298 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:48,831 YOUR UGLY FACE!" [ LAUGHS ] >> Yung Hee: [ SCREAMS ] 299 00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:49,766 [ LAUGHS ] >> Yung Hee: [ SCREAMS ] >> Mike: [ GASPS ] 300 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:50,640 >> Yung Hee: [ SCREAMS ] >> Mike: [ GASPS ] [ HORSES NEIGH ] 301 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,537 >> Mike: [ GASPS ] [ HORSES NEIGH ] >> Yung Hee: DAD! 302 00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:52,538 [ HORSES NEIGH ] >> Yung Hee: DAD! [ CHUPACABRA GROWLS ] 303 00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:53,239 >> Yung Hee: DAD! [ CHUPACABRA GROWLS ] [ HORSES NEIGH ] 304 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,570 [ CHUPACABRA GROWLS ] [ HORSES NEIGH ] >> Mike: HEY, CHIMIMONGA! 305 00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:55,605 [ HORSES NEIGH ] >> Mike: HEY, CHIMIMONGA! [ CHUPACABRA GROWLS ] 306 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,709 >> Mike: HEY, CHIMIMONGA! [ CHUPACABRA GROWLS ] [ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ] 307 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:10,090 [ CHUPACABRA GROANING ] >> Yung Hee: YOU SAVED MY LIFE. >> Mike: NO, HONEY. 308 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,620 >> Yung Hee: YOU SAVED MY LIFE. >> Mike: NO, HONEY. IT WAS YOU THAT SAVED MINE. 309 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,885 >> Mike: NO, HONEY. IT WAS YOU THAT SAVED MINE. REMEMBER, WHEN YOU WERE A 310 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,563 IT WAS YOU THAT SAVED MINE. REMEMBER, WHEN YOU WERE A TALKING BABY AND YOU TOLD ME TO 311 00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:15,761 REMEMBER, WHEN YOU WERE A TALKING BABY AND YOU TOLD ME TO STOP LIVING FOR MYSELF? 312 00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,062 TALKING BABY AND YOU TOLD ME TO STOP LIVING FOR MYSELF? >> Marquess: UNBELIEVABLE. 313 00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:18,204 STOP LIVING FOR MYSELF? >> Marquess: UNBELIEVABLE. [ CHUPACABRA GROWLS ] 314 00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:19,058 >> Marquess: UNBELIEVABLE. [ CHUPACABRA GROWLS ] [ ALL SCREAM ] 315 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:21,126 [ CHUPACABRA GROWLS ] [ ALL SCREAM ] [ HORSE NEIGHS ] 316 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:30,313 >> HI, MIKE. I'M CORMAC McCARTHY. >> Marquess: MY GOD. 317 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,310 I'M CORMAC McCARTHY. >> Marquess: MY GOD. HE IS A CENTAUR. 318 00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:33,011 >> Marquess: MY GOD. HE IS A CENTAUR. >> Mike: MARQUESS, I TOLD YOU 319 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,583 HE IS A CENTAUR. >> Mike: MARQUESS, I TOLD YOU THAT WAS THE MYSTERY, MAN. 320 00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:36,051 >> Mike: MARQUESS, I TOLD YOU THAT WAS THE MYSTERY, MAN. WHY THE HELL YOU NEVER LISTEN 321 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:36,679 THAT WAS THE MYSTERY, MAN. WHY THE HELL YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME? 322 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,923 WHY THE HELL YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME? >> Pigeon: WHOA! 323 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,949 TO ME? >> Pigeon: WHOA! YOU KNOW WHO THAT LOOKS LIKE? 324 00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,324 >> Pigeon: WHOA! YOU KNOW WHO THAT LOOKS LIKE? JOHN UPDIKE. 325 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,693 YOU KNOW WHO THAT LOOKS LIKE? JOHN UPDIKE. >> HEH. THAT IS JOHN UPDIKE. 326 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,763 JOHN UPDIKE. >> HEH. THAT IS JOHN UPDIKE. EVERYONE THOUGHT HE DIED A LONG 327 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,762 >> HEH. THAT IS JOHN UPDIKE. EVERYONE THOUGHT HE DIED A LONG TIME AGO, BUT HE MUST'VE JUST 328 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,704 EVERYONE THOUGHT HE DIED A LONG TIME AGO, BUT HE MUST'VE JUST TRANSFORMED INTO A CHUPACABRA. 329 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,599 TIME AGO, BUT HE MUST'VE JUST TRANSFORMED INTO A CHUPACABRA. >> Mike: HEY, DUDE, HOW ABOUT 330 00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,371 TRANSFORMED INTO A CHUPACABRA. >> Mike: HEY, DUDE, HOW ABOUT LET'S GO AND FINISH THAT NOVEL 331 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:57,170 >> Mike: HEY, DUDE, HOW ABOUT LET'S GO AND FINISH THAT NOVEL OF YOURS? 332 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:59,140 LET'S GO AND FINISH THAT NOVEL OF YOURS? I THINK I GOT A PRETTY IDEA OF 333 00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,309 OF YOURS? I THINK I GOT A PRETTY IDEA OF AN ENDING FOR YA. 334 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,137 I THINK I GOT A PRETTY IDEA OF AN ENDING FOR YA. >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 335 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,842 AN ENDING FOR YA. >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I TURNED MY NOVEL IN TO MY 336 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,114 >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I TURNED MY NOVEL IN TO MY PUBLISHER A WEEK AGO. 337 00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:07,012 I TURNED MY NOVEL IN TO MY PUBLISHER A WEEK AGO. >> Mike: THEN WHO SENT THE NOTE? 338 00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,884 PUBLISHER A WEEK AGO. >> Mike: THEN WHO SENT THE NOTE? >> I SENT THE NOTE, PRETENDING 339 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,152 >> Mike: THEN WHO SENT THE NOTE? >> I SENT THE NOTE, PRETENDING AS THOUGH IT WAS FROM 340 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,080 >> I SENT THE NOTE, PRETENDING AS THOUGH IT WAS FROM MR. McCARTHY. 341 00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:14,324 AS THOUGH IT WAS FROM MR. McCARTHY. >> RAFAEL, WH-- YOU'VE DIED? 342 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,151 MR. McCARTHY. >> RAFAEL, WH-- YOU'VE DIED? >> I WANTED TO SEE IF I COULD 343 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,086 >> RAFAEL, WH-- YOU'VE DIED? >> I WANTED TO SEE IF I COULD SUCCESSFULLY WRITE IN HIS STYLE 344 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,991 >> I WANTED TO SEE IF I COULD SUCCESSFULLY WRITE IN HIS STYLE AFTER THESE MANY YEARS WORKING 345 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,293 SUCCESSFULLY WRITE IN HIS STYLE AFTER THESE MANY YEARS WORKING FOR HIM ON THE RANCH. 346 00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:23,925 AFTER THESE MANY YEARS WORKING FOR HIM ON THE RANCH. AND OBVIOUSLY I CAN, SO THIS IS 347 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,161 FOR HIM ON THE RANCH. AND OBVIOUSLY I CAN, SO THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 348 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,866 AND OBVIOUSLY I CAN, SO THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. TIME FOR A FIESTA! 349 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,798 THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. TIME FOR A FIESTA! [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] 350 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,374 TIME FOR A FIESTA! [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] >> Yung Hee: DOES HE KNOW HE 351 00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:32,972 [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] >> Yung Hee: DOES HE KNOW HE DIED? 352 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,673 >> Yung Hee: DOES HE KNOW HE DIED? >> Marquess: IT TAKES SOME 353 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,105 DIED? >> Marquess: IT TAKES SOME PEOPLE A WHILE. 354 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,780 >> Marquess: IT TAKES SOME PEOPLE A WHILE. >> Pigeon: YOU KNOW, YOU COULD 355 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,349 PEOPLE A WHILE. >> Pigeon: YOU KNOW, YOU COULD LEARN A THING OR TWO FROM UPDIKE 356 00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:40,907 >> Pigeon: YOU KNOW, YOU COULD LEARN A THING OR TWO FROM UPDIKE HERE. 357 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:41,784 LEARN A THING OR TWO FROM UPDIKE HERE. >> LIKE WHAT? 358 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:43,112 HERE. >> LIKE WHAT? >> Marquess: UH, QUOTATION 359 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:43,716 >> LIKE WHAT? >> Marquess: UH, QUOTATION MARKS? 360 00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:44,747 >> Marquess: UH, QUOTATION MARKS? >> Pigeon: NO SEX. 361 00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,321 MARKS? >> Pigeon: NO SEX. YOU GOTTA GET SOME SEX IN THERE. 362 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,390 >> Pigeon: NO SEX. YOU GOTTA GET SOME SEX IN THERE. >> BIRD SEX, HUH? 363 00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,047 YOU GOTTA GET SOME SEX IN THERE. >> BIRD SEX, HUH? >> Pigeon: NO, NOT BIRD SEX. 364 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,886 >> BIRD SEX, HUH? >> Pigeon: NO, NOT BIRD SEX. I DON'T WANT TO -- I DON'T WANT 365 00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:52,161 >> Pigeon: NO, NOT BIRD SEX. I DON'T WANT TO -- I DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT BIRD SEX. 366 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:52,959 I DON'T WANT TO -- I DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT BIRD SEX. I'M A MAN. 367 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,660 TO READ ABOUT BIRD SEX. I'M A MAN. >> BIRD SEX. 368 00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:55,891 I'M A MAN. >> BIRD SEX. THAT REMINDS ME OF THAT OLD 369 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:56,226 >> BIRD SEX. THAT REMINDS ME OF THAT OLD SONG. 370 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,159 THAT REMINDS ME OF THAT OLD SONG. >> Mike: GIDDYUP, 371 00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,104 SONG. >> Mike: GIDDYUP, CARMAC McCONAGHEY. 372 00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,868 >> Mike: GIDDYUP, CARMAC McCONAGHEY. >> ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD 373 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:01,897 CARMAC McCONAGHEY. >> ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX ♪ 374 00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,842 >> ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX ♪ ♪ I WANNA FLY ♪ 375 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,667 SEX ♪ ♪ I WANNA FLY ♪ ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD 376 00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:07,413 ♪ I WANNA FLY ♪ ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX ♪ 377 00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,337 ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX ♪ ♪ I'M GONNA FLY ♪ 378 00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:12,243 SEX ♪ ♪ I'M GONNA FLY ♪ ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD 379 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:13,345 ♪ I'M GONNA FLY ♪ ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX ♪ 380 00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:17,683 ♪ I'M GONNA FLY ♪ >> Mike: ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR 381 00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,084 >> Mike: ♪ AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR BIRD SEX, OOH ♪ 382 00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:20,916 BIRD SEX, OOH ♪ ♪ I'M KISSIN' THE SKY ♪ 383 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:23,221 ♪ I'M KISSIN' THE SKY ♪ ♪ WHOO-WHOO-WHOO ♪ 42088

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