Original subtitles

GOOFY: Yeow-hoo-hooeee!

(CRASHING)

GIRL'S VOICE: Maa-ax!

(GASPS)

Maa-ax!

- (PANTING) - Maa-ax!

Roxanne?

Mmm-mmm-mmm.

(SIGHS)

- Ahh. - Oh!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

(GASPS)

What's wrong?

Argh!

Argh! Ooo-ooo.

Aah! Oh!

- Argh! No! - Look!

(SCREAMS)

- (COUGHING) Ayuk! O-O-Oh! - (THUNDERCLAPS)

(SCREAMS, PANTING)

(SIGHS)

(PHONE RINGS)

Uh... Ahh! Hello? Ahem. Hello.

MALE VOICE: Max, where the heck are you, man?

- P.J.? - You should've been here an hour ago.

What? What are... Hold on.

Oh, no!

P.J.: Look, maybe we should just call the whole thing off.

No way, man.

It's now or never. Oooh!

You better get a move on. I'll meet you at my locker.

Ayuk! Mornin', son!

Dad!

Oops! I forgot.

(KNOCKS ON DOOR)

Ayuk! Mornin', son!

Came to see if you had any... dirty clothes.

Well, there they are. Help yourself.

Max, I thought we talked about this.

Look, I'm sorry, Dad. I- I'll take care of it later. Ow!

- What's the big rush? - I'm running late.

I could drive ya on my way to work.

Uh, no. No, thanks.

- I, uh, need the exercise. - Aw, come on, Max. Huh?

Dad! No, don't do it!

Don't... No!

Oh, Dad, you ruined it.

Sorry 'bout that.

Who was he, anyway?

It's only Powerline, Dad. The biggest rock star on the planet.

Ooh, not bigger than Xavier Cugat, the Mambo King.

Everybody mambo! Boom-boom-boom, boom-boom-boom

Dad, there's no time for this. What if the neighbors see us?

Boom-boom-boom

Maxie, wait up!

You forgot your lunch.

- Have a good day! - Duh... Ah!

- (LAUGHING) - Huh.

(SINGS) They've been laughin' Since I can remember

But they're not gonna laugh any more

No more "Maxie the Geek"

No more "Goof of the Week"

Like before

No more algebra tests 'til September

No more lookin' at losers like him

- No more havin' to cheat - No more mystery meat

- No more gym - No more gym

- No more gym - No more gym

- Gonna move to the mall - Gonna live in the pool

- Oh! - Gonna talk to Roxanne

And not feel like a fool

'Cause after today I'm gonna be cruisin'

After today, she'll be mine

After today, my brains'll be snoozin'

- (LADIES GASP) - If I don't faint, I'll be fine

I've got 40 more minutes Of home economics

- Then down with the textbooks - And up with the comics

Just think of all The time I've been losin'

Finding the right thing to say

But things'll be goin' my way After today

She looked right through me

And who could blame her

I need a new me

Plus some positive proof That I'm not just a goof

And after today, I'm gonna be cruisin'

No more pep rallies to cut

Yuck!

After today, our brains'll be snoozin'

I'm gonna sit on my butt

I've got less than an hour

And when this is ended

- I'll either be famous - Or you'll be suspended

Just think of all the time I've been losin'

Waiting until I could say

Gonna be on my own Kiss the parents goodbye

Gonna party from now 'til the end of July

Things'll be going my way

After today

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

I wish that this was the day...

- After today - (SONG ENDS)

Whoa! Dah! Argh!

(ALL LAUGHING)

- Are you all right? - Yeah, yeah. I'm okay.

I just, uh... Dah... (STAMMERS)

- (CONTINUES STAMMERING) - (GIGGLES)

(CHUCKLES) Ayuk!

Oh.

Argh!

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

I can't believe I did that!

Urgh! She finally says "Hi" to me, and what do I do?

I... choke! Urgh!

Ayuk!

- Like a big spaz! - Where have you been, buddy?

Uh. Hi, Peej. Did you get the camera?

Look, Max, if my dad catches me with this, he'll kill me!

Are you sure we gotta do this?

It's my only chance, Peej.

To Roxanne, I'm... I'm just a nobody.

But after today...

Bobby!

(SLURPS)

Wow, look! All this is for us?

(SLURPS)

Mmm, slurpage!

Oh, this is gonna be so great, man!

Dude. Need fund-age, bro.

Oh, your fee. Yeah, yeah. Right here.

Ahhh!

Cheddar! Aah-ooh!

Cheddar whizzy!

Mmm. Mmm.

(COUGHS)

Mmm. It's pretty scrumptious.

Ha-ha! Let's do it, ladies!

(CROWD CHEERS)

As student body president, I just wanna say like "yea"...

- to all of us for a really neat year. - Yo, Stacey!

Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me, baby!

And also that I hope you can all attend

my totally amazing end-of-school party next Saturday

to watch the Powerline concert live on pay-per-view.

(CHEERING)

Thank you, thank you very much.

And now, without further ado, Principal Mazur.

- (CROWD FALLS SILENT) - (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK SCREECHES)

Thank you, Stacey.

And good morning, boys and girls.

You know, every year on the last day of school

I have several youngsters approach me and say,

"Principal Mazur, what can we do to not waste our summer vacation?"

- (CROWD GROANS) - "We don't want to waste our free time

- (CROWD YAWNS) - "sleeping or visiting friends. "

- (YAWNING) - Say, Roxanne, about Stacey's party.

How you, uh... How you doin' down there, Bobby?

Don't give me that attitude, you guys. I'm doin' it all for you.

This is nuts.

I don't know why I let you guys talk me into this.

If my dad finds out, he's gonna nuke my entire existence... Ah!

...of the element, or...

Heh-heh-heh.

I hope this works.

How about... science slumber parties?

Huh?

(ROCK MUSIC BEGINS PLAYING)

Wha...

Hey!

I'm not gonna just... Aaah!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-hah!

(SINGS) Some people setttle For the typical things

Livin' all their lives Waitin' in the wings

It ain't a question of "if" It's just a matter of time

Before I move to the front of the line

Once you're watchin' Every move that I make

You gotta believe That I got what it takes

- Whaaa! - (THUD)

- To stand out above the crowd - (WILD CHEERING)

Even if I've gotta shout out loud

'Til mine is the only face you'll see

Gonna stand out 'Til you notice me, yeah

A little smoke-age! (HOWLS)

If I can make you stop and Take a look at me instead of just

(CHORUS) Walkin' by

There's nothin' that I wouldn't do If it was gettin' you to notice

(CHORUS) I'm alive

All I need is half a chance A second thought, a second glance

To prove I've got whatever it takes

It's a piece of cake.

To stand out above the crowd

Wow! Who's that guy?

'Til mine is the only face you'll see

Gonna stand out... (RECORD DRAGS)

(SONG STOPS)

BOY: Hey, it's the Goof boy!

We're busted!

Hmph.

Gaga-booja-boo boo-boo-boo.

Ayuk! Come on, smile!

Smiley-wiley!

Blaa-aa-aa. Ayuk!

Oh, come on, Kimmie. Gimme a big...

(GAGGING, GULPS)

- (SQUEAKS) - Ahh!

Whee!

- (SQUEAKS) - Ahh! Whee!

- (SQUEAKS) - Ahh.

- (SQUEAKS) - Ahh!

- (SQUEAKS) - Ahh!

- (SQUEAKS) - Stop goofin' around!

We got work to do!

Okay, Kimmie, back to Mommy now.

- Ayuk! Blaa-aa-aa. - Ahh.

You're such a cute little girlie.

- Mmm. - Oh, come back and see me.

Oh, you have such a way with children.

"You have such a way with children. "

Pah!

Okay, now. Who's next over here?

Step aside, Goof. Let a pro show you how it's done.

Okay. Who's next over here? Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Ooh, hello, precious...

- Oooh! Oooh! - (GIRL GIGGLES)

You lucky woman. Heh.

Now, now, you come on here, honey.

- It's picture time. Come on. - Peekaboo!

- She's so cute. - Peekaboo!

(GIGGLES)

Gosh, Pete, you sure are good with kids.

- Oh, yeah. Well, they love me. - Argh!

Ha-ha. Why P.J., he's been beggin' me to take him on vacation this summer.

Really? Where ya goin'?

Campin'!

Nothing like the great outdoors

to strengthen the bond between a father and a son.

- Argh! - Max'd never go for anything like that.

- I don't know, Goof. - Ooh! Gimme, gimme.

Somethin's wrong when a kid won't spend time with his parents.

Well, for all you know, he's runnin' around with some gang,

and stealin' stuff, and causin' riots and...

Waaa! Gimme!

Oh, Max is a good kid.

He'd never get mixed up in somethin' like that.

(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)

(SECRETARY HUMS)

- (HUMMING) - (TYPEWRITER DINGS)

(SIGHS) I'm a failure.

Complete loser.

My one chance to impress Roxanne and I blew it.

Uh-huh!

Max, look.

It's the Leaning Tower of Cheese-a. Huh.

(DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN)

Oh, man.

My dad is gonna smash me like a bug.

Hey, P.J., detention! (LAUGHS)

PRINCIPAL: Robert Zimuruski.

Okay. I'm comin'.

Max, here.

Guard this with your life, dude.

Hey, Maz-u-ur!

What's up, bro? All right.

Then my parents' air conditioner went on the fritz.

I figured with all those kids in my house, the place'd be like a sauna.

So I'm all freaked out, but then I thought, like, use it.

So my theme's gonna be, "Powerline Goes Rain Forest. "

Too much?

Roxanne, are you listening?

Oh! (CLICKS TONGUE)

- Stacey, no! I don't wanna... - Talk to him.

Ahem!

A- A-Ahem! Hmm.

Tap him.

(GASPS)

- Gosh, I'm sorry. - It's okay... really.

Um, I liked your dance.

Yeah. (NERVOUS LAUGHTER)

Yeah?

Yeah, it's from Powerline's new video.

I know. H-He's totally a genius.

Yeah. He's doing a concert next week in L.A.

Oh, yeah. Stacey's showing it at her party.

- Yeah! - Yeah.

Um, uh, Roxanne...

I was, uh, sorta, kinda thinkin' that maybe I'd, um,

ask you to, uh, go with me, that is to the... party.

Of course if you don't want to, I'd completely understand.

Well, I was sorta, kind of thinkin' that... I'd love to.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- Good. - Great.

- Terrific. - Wonderful.

- All right. - Okay.

C'mon, Roxanne. We don't want to belabor the moment now, do we?

Well, I'd better be going.

I'll, uh, call you later.

Okay.

Bye. Oh.

(NERVOUS LAUGHTER) Bye.

See, that wasn't so bad. I told you men are easy to deal with.

Yes! She said yes!

Ya-ha-ha-hoo!

Everybody mambo! Rum-bum-bum-bum-dah

- Oooh! - Rum-bum-bum-bum-dah

It's not my break yet! Ooh!

- Oooh! - Rum-bum-bum-bum-dah

Yeah! Dance with her! Groove with her.

Rum-bum-bum-bum-dah

- Miss Maple! - Yes, sir?

Get that boy's father on the phone at once!

Right away, sir! Whoo!

Hello.

Ah, yes. Mr. Goof.

This is Principal Mazur.

I'm calling in regard to your son Maximilian.

Max? Oh, my gosh! Is he hurt?

No, Mr. Goof.

He's in trouble!

Trouble? What kind of trouble?

- Dressed like a gang member... - Gang member?

your son caused the entire student body

to break into a riotous frenzy!

- Riot? Couldn't be my... - If I were you, Mr. Goof,

I'd seriously reevaluate the way you're raising your child

before he ends up in the electric chair!

- (PHONE CLICKS DEAD) - The electric chair?

Oh!

What am I gonna do?

P.A. SYSTEM: Blue light special on aisle three.

P.A. SYSTEM: Blue light special on aisle three.

Lake Destiny.

Okay, kiddo. Now, smile!

Lake Destiny, Idaho!

- Lake who-did-ho? - You were right, Pete.

Nothin' like the great outdoors

to strengthen the bond between father and son.

- You said so yourself. - Well, yeah, but...

I'm goin' fishin'! Ayuk!

I'm goin' fishin' with my boy!

Yeah.

Okay, precious, gimme a big smi...

(GIRL LAUGHS)

Fishing! Fishing! (LAUGHS)

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

- (KIDS CHEERING) - Cool concert, lad.

- What? - You wailed, bud!

- Hey, Max, wicked dance. - Thanks.

Forget it, girl. He's Roxanne's.

Way to go, man!

I just heard about you and Roxanne.

Oh, Pete! Ow!

See, see? I told you our plan would work!

- Max! Max! Max! - Peej, knock it off. Come on. Shh.

- Maximum! Maxi-mu-um! - Max! Max!

Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!

Max! Max! Max! Yeah!

(SONG BEGINS) All I need is halfa chance A second thought, a second glance

To prove I've got whatever it takes

It's a piece of cake.

To stand out above the crowd

Even if I gotta shout out loud

'Til mine is the only face you'll see

Gonna stand out Stand out, heh

Stand out

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Stand out

'Til mine is the only face you'll see

Gonna stand out

'Til you notice me

Goin' somewhere, Pop?

- Sure are, pal-a-roony. - Cool. Have a good time, Dad.

If you're gonna be gone more than a month, drop me a line.

But, Max, this isn't just my vacation.

It's a vacation with me and my best buddy.

- Oh, Donald Duck? - No, silly. With you!

- (BIRDS TWITTERING) - Are you okay, Maxie?

Wh-What did you say?

That's right!

A vacation, son!

We'll spend some real quality time together!

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Hey, got a present for ya!

Dad, stop that! What are you doing?

You look just like I did at your age.

Please don't say that, Dad.

Wait! I saved the best for last. Ayuk!

It's been handed down from Goof to Goof to Goof.

And now, it's yours, son.

- A stick? - No, silly.

A fishin' pole!

Fishing? We're going fishing?

Yep. Just like my dad and me did.

Two best buddies fishin' on Lake Destiny.

Away from it all!

I don't wanna be "away" from it all, Dad.

I like "it all"!

Look, Maxie, we're using the same map me and my dad used.

We'll take the same route, and make the same stops...

- and see the same sights. - Ahh!

- But that trip would take weeks, Dad! - Exactly!

Gettin' there is half the fun.

Put the map away, Dad.

- It's not gonna happen. I'm tellin' ya. - Careful, son. You'll wrinkle my past.

Ayuk! And our future.

What the map says, Max, we will follow.

That's very mystical and everything, Dad,

but, uh, seriously, there's this party I have to go to. And there's this girl...

There'll be plenty of time for parties when you're older.

Why, when I was your age I'd never even been invited to a party.

- Look at me now! - Great, Dad.

- Hop in, Maxie. - No.

All right, then.

Guess I'll just have to go...

all alone.

That's all.

Just sit in the boat all alone...

and talk to myself.

- All alone. - I guess so.

- Oh, come on! Hop in! - No, Dad.

- Just hop right in there. - No.

- Come on, Maxie. Go for it! - Argh! No.

Let's buckle you up!

And we're ready for takeoff! Ayuk.

Set for adventure, Maxie?

Why are you doing this to me, Dad?

'Cause I don't want ya to end up in the electric chair.

Electric chair? What are you...

I'm not givin' up on ya, son.

Together, we're gonna work this out.

Work this out? But, Dad!

No buts about it, Maxie boy.

- Your ol' pop knows best. - But...

(CAR ENGINE REVVING)

Goodbye, house. Goodbye, mailbox.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Goodbye, pile of broken wood.

Goodbye, hopes.

Goodbye, dreams.

Goodbye, Roxanne.

Roxanne!

Dad, I gotta stop somewhere first. I have to talk to someone.

- Well... - Turn here!

(CAR SCREECHES)

- D-Dad, watch out! Aaah! - (YELLING)

Stop here. Here! Pull over!

Now, make it quick, Maxie boy.

We gotta put some road behind us.

You get and cancel your first date in less than an hour.

- (DOORBELL RINGS) - Must be some kind of lame-o record.

(DOOR OPENS)

(GROWLS)

Hi. Is Roxanne home?

(GROWLS)

- M-M-My name's Max. - (GROWLS)

Does Roxanne live here?

- Does she even live on this block? Ha-ha. - ROXANNE: Wait!

It's okay, Daddy. Max is a friend from school.

Oh. (GROWLS)

Go on. Go on. Good Daddy.

- Hey, Max. - Hi, there.

You wanna... uh, have a seat?

Hey. Uh... oh.

- (GROWLS) - Daddy!

I promise, he'll be better behaved when you pick me up for the party.

Yeah, that's, uh, sorta why I came by.

I'm really looking forward to it, Max.

- Yeah. I was too. - Was?

You see, my dad's on this stupid father-son kick and...

Don't worry about it, Max. It's just a dumb party.

No, it's not. Roxanne, I really wanted to go with you.

- Max, I understand. Really, it's okay. - But my dad surprised me.

I don't wanna go, but I have no choice.

- I'm sure I can find someone else. - Someone else?

- I'll just talk to you later. - Uh, uh, Roxanne!

Uh, my dad is, uh...

My dad's taking me to the Powerline concert in L.A.

Your dad's taking you clear across the country just to see a concert?

Uh, well, you see, uh, my dad...

uh, knew... knows... knows Powerline.

They used to play together, in a band!

- Yeah! - (CAR HORN TOOTS) Come on, son!

Let's get this show on the road!

Uh... (NERVOUS LAUGHTER) Just a minute!

You... party animal, you.

- You're really serious. - Absolutely.

So, uh...

you aren't still thinkin' of goin' with someone else, are you?

- Well, I guess... - Because I was hopin'...

I could, uh, wave to you onstage

when we join Powerline for the final number.

This is incredible.

Well, I wouldn't miss our date for anything

that wasn't incredible, Roxanne.

Mwa.

Have a great time at the concert, Max.

- (MUMBLING) - I'll see you on TV!

Ah. I'm in deep sludge.

(CAR ENGINE REVVING)

GOOFY: Day one.

Well, here we are,

out on the open road, retracin' the steps of my boyhood.

And here's Maxie! Ayuk!

Say hi, Max.

- Well, how 'bout a wave? - Not now, Dad.

Ayuk! What a kidder!

Hmm.

Fun games I used to play with my dad.

Road bingo. Twenty ques... (GASPS) Hey, Maxie.

Let's play a game.

You think of a name, and I'll try and guess who it is.

- Uh, man or woman? - Oh, man.

A man, huh?

Hmm, that's a toughie.

Uh, let's see.

- Walt Disney! - Right.

I'm good at this.

Now, uh, I'll think of one.

- Hmm. - (ROCK MUSIC BLARING ON RADIO)

Oh! You wanna sing a song, huh?

Me and my dad used to sing this one all the time.

- (SONG BEGINS) - High hopes

GOOFY: (SINGING) He's got high hopes

He's got high apple pie

In the sky hopes

(HARD ROCK PLAYS)

- (ROCK STOPS) - Oops, there goes another...

(HARD ROCK PLAYS)

- (ROCK STOPS) - Oops, there goes...

- (HARD ROCK) - Oops, there goes...

- (HARD ROCK) - Oops...

(CASSETTE TAPE WHIRS AND SCRATCHES)

Oh, g-great, Dad. Now we don't have any music!

Oh, Maxie. It's not so bad.

We'll just have to entertain ourselves!

(DEEP SIGH)

(PERSISTENT JINGLING SOUND)

(JINGLING CONTINUES)

(KEYS JINGLING)

(EXHAUST PIPE SPUTTERS, POPS)

Putt-putt-poof!

Putt-putt-poof!

- Ping-ping-ping. - Putt-putt-poof!

- Ping-ping-ping. Ping-ping-ping. - (JOLLY WHISTLING)

- Ping-ping-ping. - Putt-putt-poof.

- Ping-ping-ping. - Putt-putt-poof.

(SONG BEGINS)

(SINGS) Do ya need a break from modern livin'?

Do you long to shed your weary load?

If your nerves are raw And your brain is fried

Just grab a friend And take a ride together

- On the open road - (TIRES SCREECHING)

Come on, Maxie! Ayuk!

All in all, I'd rather have detention

All in all, I'd rather eat a toad

- Yuck! - (HORNS HONKING)

Old man drives like such a klutz

That I'm about to hurl my guts Directly...

Upon the open road

GOOFY: There's nothin' can upset me

'Cause now we're on our way

Our trusty map will guide us Straight and true

Roxanne, please don't forget me

I will return someday

- (YELLS) - Though I may be in traction when I do

- Me and Max relaxin' like the old days - This is worse...

- ... Than dragon breath and acne - In a buddy-buddy kind of way

I'm so mad I think I may explode

- When I see that highway I could cry - That's funny, so could I

(BOTH SINGING TOGETHER) Just bein' out on the open road

(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

Howdy, boys

Is this the way to Nashville?

(TRUCK HONKS) Watch it, Mac!

Or you'll be gettin' towed

I'm in no hurry to arrive

'Cause I'll be turnin' sixty-five

The next time I sees the open road

- Just a week of rest and relaxation - Yeah!

And the odd romantic episode

Very odd!

And it's Califor-ni-a or bust

Look out, you dirt-bags, eat my dust

From now on, I own the open road

It's me and little Maxie

My pip-squeak pioneer

They're partners forever, westward ho

- Yee-haw! - Yee-haw!

Could someone call a taxi And get me outta here?

To Beverly Hills 90210

Oh, every day, another new adventure

Every mile, another new ZIP Code

And the cares we had are gone for good

And I'd go with them if I could

I got no strings on me

I'm feelin' fancy free

How wonderful to be

On the open ro-oad

Ro-oad

(CLANGING SOUND)

(GOOFY SINGING)

You'll all do-do-do-do

- Do-do-do bum-bum-bum - (TRUCK HORN BLOWS)

GOOFY: Grandpa! Grandpa!

- (HORN BLARES) - (MAX YELLS)

- (GOOFY HUMS) - Dad, you're gonna get us killed!

- Why don't you just give me the map? - Oh, no thanks, son.

Navigating's a big responsibility.

Besides, you wouldn't wanna spoil the big surprise!

I'm takin' you someplace pretty special.

Gosh! It's even better than I remembered.

No, Mommy! I don't wanna go! (SOBBING)

Yeah, fun. Tell you what...

- I'm just gonna wait here in the car. - Ayuk!

You party pooper! Come on.

This is gonna be fun!

Oh, howdy there, folks.

Lester's is proud to present...

the Possum Posse Jamboree.

Here it is.

(CROWD CHEERS)

Oh, boy! Just in time.

(FIDDLE MUSIC PLAYS)

Howdy, folks.

Who's your favorite possum?

Lester!

(KIDS LAUGH AND CLAP)

Got us a seat right up front.

LESTER: Let me introduce you to the posse.

Here's Beuford, Beulah, and Mordachai.

(ELECTRONIC SCREECHING)

Hey, Lester, ready for yodelin'? Ha-ha-ha.

Sure am, Beuford!

(SINGS) Now gather 'round my possum pals

Join the jamboree

Come hoot and howl And holler from the heart...

This is pathetic.

- Here in Lester's Possum Park - LESTER: Join in, folks.

This is yodelin' time!

Yodel-lay-ee, yodel-ee-oo

Yodel-ee-oo, ooo-ooo-ooo

Lester's Possum Park

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Ayuk! Yodel-lay-ee, ooo-ooo-ooo

- LESTER: Don't you wanna be - ALL: Mm-hmm.

- A-hangin' from a tree? - ALL: Uh-huh.

We're mighty glad to see ya And the parking's always free

Here at Lester's Po-Po

Po-Possum Park

Doodle-do, diddle-do

(CROWD LAUGHS)

Hey, that's the ticket!

I'll be right back, my little possum pal.

(SIGHS) My life's a living...

Hello, little buddy!

Who's your favorite possum?

Don't touch me.

Aww. Why such a long face?

You're so sad. (CRIES)

I know! You need a big hug from Lester.

- Don't even think about it! No! - See?

Now you feel all good inside.

Beat it, doofus!

(CHILDREN CHATTERING)

- Oh, no. No, Dad. Not that. Please. - Here you go, sport.

What say we get our picture taken?

(WAILING)

- You have got to be kidding. - Oh, all right.

But you're missin' out.

- Urgh. Huh? - (CROWD LAUGHS)

Hiya, son!

(CROWD HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER)

Hey, everyone! Check out the dork!

Say "sassafras. "

Sassy-frass!

- (POSSUM SCREECHES) - Argh!

- (CROWD LAUGHS) - Ahh! Get it! Get it!

(BANJO MUSIC STARTS UP)

That's the spirit, Maxie!

Whoa! No!

Dad, stop! Please! No!

Dad, look, this is embarrassing.

No, no, no!

Let go! Dad!

- Ta-da! Ayuk. - (APPLAUSE)

(CROWD SIGHS)

It's Dork and Dork Junior! Hah-hah-hah!

(CROWD HOWLS WITH LAUGHTER)

(THUNDERCLAPS)

(EXASPERATED GRUNTING)

- Argh! - Max!

Hey, what the heck you tryin' to do?

- Trying to get away from you! - Me?

- What'd I do? - Forget it!

I thought we was having fun. What's the matter?

Nothin'. Let's just go.

Well, come on!

(JINGLING OF CAR KEYS)

(SLAMS DOOR)

Hey, you dropped your hat.

Ah! This is the stupidest vacation!

You drag me from home, you jam me in this dumb car,

then drive me a million miles away to see some stupid rat show!

Call me when the trip's over.

(THUNDERCLAPS)

(CAR ENGINE REVS UP)

(HAMMERING)

Hey, Max.

You wanna get in some fishin' practice?

Just a couple of days 'til we get to Lake Destiny.

Maybe later.

(SPLASH)

(RUMBLING)

(SAWING)

Whoa!

Now that's camping.

Did you say somethin', Max? Ow!

- Pete? - Goofy?

Oh-ho! What a serendipity doo-dah!

Who'd've thunk it, huh? (LAUGHS)

- Is P.J. here? - Who? Oh, yeah.

I'm sure he's loafin' around here somewhere.

- (SONG PLAYING) - It ain't a question of how

Just a matter of when

You get the message That I'm trying to sing

I'm under a spell, I'm in over my head

And you know I'm goin' All of the way to the end

What a goob!

- To stand out above the crowd - (SONG STOPS)

(CONTINUES SINGING) Even if you got to shout out loud

No matter what the look is It's Max, I get...

- Max! - H-H-Hey!

Whoa! Small wilderness, dude.

- Didn't expect to run into you. - Apparently not.

You're just jealous, man, 'cause you ain't got the moves!

MAX: Yeah, you can keep the moves.

But I wouldn't mind havin' this RV. Oh!

- You are so lucky, man. - Me? Oh, come on. You're the star.

- Wh-What do you... - Going to the Powerline concert.

- Ah! It's unbelievable, man. - Who told you about that?

Hey, come on. Everybody in town knows about it, Max.

You are gonna be famous, buddy.

Especially with Roxanne.

There's, uh, only one person who doesn't know about it yet, Peej.

- Who? - My dad.

So tell me, Goof.

Is that kid of yours still givin' you guff?

Oh, I don't know what's wrong.

Just seems like everything I try only drives Max further away.

Maybe I oughta just back off, I don't know.

Wrong, Goof. (SIGHS)

Look, if you keep 'em under your thumb,

they'll never end up in the gutter.

Too bad, Pete. Almost.

Almost? Hah!

Watch this.

P.J.!

(P.J. PANTS) Here, sir. Comin', sir. Yes, sir.

Whoo-hoo! Strike-ola!

Yee-haw! Thank you. Thank you. Yes!

And the crowd goes wild! Ahh-ha-ha-ha!

High five, son!

Psych!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Say, Goof, why don't you two stay for dinner?

- Cool! - Oh, no thanks, Pete.

- Max and I have some fish to catch. - Dad, we can do that tomorrow.

So, uh, what're we havin'?

- But, Max, I thought... - Ahem! Under your thumb, Goof.

- Maximilian! - What?

Get your gear, little man.

We're goin' fishin'!

And I mean now!

(SIGHS)

Dad, I don't even know how to fish.

Oh, now come on. That never stopped me!

Let me show you a little family secret,

handed down through about 12 or 13 Goof generations.

The perfect cast!

The perfect what?

The perfect cast.

My dad taught it to me when I was about your age.

Okay now, watch carefully.

You gotta be I-I-loose.

Relaxed, with your feet apart.

And... ten o'clock, two o'clock...

Quarter to three, tour jeté.

Twist, over, pas de deux.

I'm a little teapot And the windup!

Huh?

And let her fly!

The perfect cast.

(THUD)

(RUMBLING FOOTSTEPS)

(DEEP GROWLS)

Huh? (SNIFFS, GROWLS)

And now we reel her in.

Grrr. Ah! Ooh!

Oof! Grrr!

(GROWLS)

- Whoa! - Grrr!

Quick, get the camera!

(GURGLING)

Must be over three pounds.

I don't wanna miss this!

Look, Max!

A... duh, D-Dad?

It's Bigfoot!

Could you back up a bit, Mr. Foot? You're out of focus.

(ROARS)

- What's the idea? - (GROWLING)

- (YELLING) - (ROARING)

Bigfoot!

Behold the legendary Bigfoot!

Fabled, but seldom... Yeow-hoo-hoo!

- It's locked! - Quick! The sunroof!

(BIGFOOT SNARLS)

Hurry up!

(SNARLS)

Hurry up!

Huh?

MAX: Whoa!

I can't believe it!

Bigfoot!

And I got the only video!

We're gonna be famous!

(HAPPY GROWLS)

Huh? Grrr.

Let's just get outta here.

(KEYS JINGLING)

Ha-ha!

(SNIFFS) Ooh.

(CHUCKLES)

Is he gone yet?

Mm-mm-mm-mm?

- Nnn. Bb-fftt. - Bb-bbb-bbb.

(SNARLING, GROWLING)

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Nope. He's still here.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

(GROWLING)

Gee, Max, was that Bigfoot or your stomach?

Man, I'm starving.

Ayuk! Alphabet Soup comin' up.

(DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN)

Huh?

Uh, Dad?

(GROWLS)

Dad!

Stop playing around! He's coming!

- (MUSIC PLAYS THROUGH EARPHONES) - (BIGFOOT MUTTERS)

You can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man

No time to talk

(BIGFOOT CHUCKLES)

I've been kicked around Since I was born

But then it's all right, it's okay

Well, it's nice to know this thing's good for somethin'.

(MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND)

(PLAYS OVER RADIO) Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' alive...

(LAUGHS)

What's so funny?

"Hi, Dad" Soup.

Huh?

Don't tell me you don't remember "Hi, Dad" Soup!

Oh, come on. Sure you do.

You used to spell things out using the letters, like, uh, "Hi, Dad,"

- Or Maxie, or... - Ambidextrous?

Yeah! That's... Huh?

No! Little words like...

- Hasta la vista? - Like "Bye-bye. "

- Or "I pledge allegiance"... - Ayuk-ayuk. Or "I love you. "

Is, uh... is it soup yet?

Oh, oh. I almost forgot.

Whoa! Where'd you learn to do that?

Your granddad taught me that when we went to Yosemite.

You two did a lot together, huh?

Yep.

- Max, you and I... - Dad, I'm sorry...

Um, um... how's the soup?

Not bad. Um, not... Ahem.

- What? - N-nothin'.

(BIGFOOT SNARLS AND GRUNTS)

Well, we might as well get some shuteye.

I don't think we're goin' anywhere tonight.

Hi, Maxie.

(BIGFOOT GROANS, SUCK THUMB)

(SNORING)

(LOUD SNORING)

(SNORING)

(SNORING CONTINUES)

"Dear Roxanne,

"I couldn't sleep...

"so I thought I'd drop you a line.

"Dad and I are having a great time! We're only days away from L.A.

"and I can hardly wait for the big concert. "

(GOOFY YAWNS)

More "Hi, Dad" Soup, please.

(SIGHS)

"Dear Roxanne, sorry I lied,

"but I'm not really going to the Powerline concert.

"You may never want to see me again... "

Oh, man.

I'm dead no matter what I do!

(SNORING CONTINUES)

(PENCIL SNAPS)

(GOOFY YAWNS)

How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

Ah... three and a half?

(GOOFY SNORES)

(COUNTRY AND WESTERN MUSIC PLAYS)

(BELL RINGS)

- Pickup! - Hold your horses.

- Short stack? - Right here.

Here you go, hun. Eggs?

Eggs?

- Eggs! - Oh, yeah, yeah. Right here. Sorry.

Here you go, cutie.

- Max, I think we need to talk about this. - Huh?

Seems to me you need to start taking some responsibility around here.

Excuse me. Can I have your attention, please?

(GOOFY CLEARS THROAT)

I, Goofy, hereby dub my son Maximilian...

Official Navigator and Head "Which-Wayer" of this here road trip.

- Isn't that nice? - Hee-haw!

Seriously?

GOOFY: I'm not even lookin' at the map any more.

As a matter of fact, you can pick all the stops from here to Lake Destiny.

I trust you wholeheartedly, son.

To the open road!

To the... open road!

Wha-hoo! Wha-hoo!

(TIRE BURSTS)

- Ooh! - Ow!

- Ya-hoo! - Woo-hoo!

- (MAX CHEERS) - (GOOFY GULPS)

(CROWD CHEERS)

Oh boy!

(BOTH WHISTLE)

- (MAX GRUNTS) - Whoa!

(CAMERA CLICKS)

(BATS SQUEAKING)

(MAX AND GOOFY SCREAM)

- (CROWD CHEERS) - Oo-oo-waah!

- Wah-ha-hoo! - Oof!

(CRASHING)

Gosh!

MAX: Whoa-ho-ho!

- Check out the bed! - (WATER SLOSHING)

Check out the dresser!

Coral!

Nice lamp.

- Classy choice there, Navigator. - (POUNDING ON DOOR)

- MALE VOICE: This is the police! - Huh?

We've got the place surrounded, see? You Goofs come out with your hands up.

(IMITATING MACHINE GUN FIRE)

(LAUGHS)

You should've seen the look on your face!

(PETE LAUGHS)

- Ayuk! You really had him fooled, Pete! - Me?

You jumped outta your skin!

- I was just pretendin' for your sake. - All right, sure!

- GOOFY: Did too! - MAX: Did not!

Oh, ain't this sweet?

(PETE LAUGHS)

Don't let him fool you with that buddy-buddy act now.

Under your thumb!

So... since we're all bein' palsy-walsy here,

- how 'bout lettin' me hook up the RV? - Well...

Oh, it's just a tiny extension cord. You'll hardly even notice it.

- Okay. - Great! P.J.!

(P.J. GRUNTS)

Hey, Goof, why don't you order us a pizza? This might take a while.

- No, I mean it... Ahh! - Here you go, kids.

I'm gonna check out the hot tub.

- Okay, sir. - All right.

I can't believe you, man.

Whatever made you think your dad would fall for a stupid idea like that?

- It wasn't stupid! - Come on! It was really stupid.

P.J.: Changing the map?

MAX: I didn't know what I was doin', all right? I-I was panicked.

(HOT TUB BUBBLING)

Oof-oof-oof.

Oh-oh-ah-ah!

Ah!

Taking a break from the MTV generation, huh?

Can't say I blame ya.

(SPLASH)

People are always puttin' too much water in these things.

So, um...

you and your son seem to be, uh, gettin' along just hunky-dory, huh?

Yeah, it's been great!

You know, it's funny, but none of your techniques worked for me.

The harder I tried, the worse it got.

- Once I eased up, things just clicked! - Oh, that's swell.

So, there's no problems then, huh?

Not a one!

That's, uh... (SIGHS)

I just hate to be the bearer of bad news, but uh...

What is it, Pete?

- Your kid's dupin' ya. - What do you mean?

Well, I heard the little mutant tellin' P.J. that he changed the map,

so you're headin' straight to L.A., pal.

- What? - Oh, you tried, Goof.

He's just a bad kid, that's all.

I don't believe you.

- What? - I don't believe ya, Pete!

Well, hey, don't take my word for it. Check your map.

I don't need to check the map.

I trust my son.

You know, maybe Max isn't all the things that you think a son should be.

But... he loves me.

Hey, my son respects me!

Yeah.

Check the map, Goof!

(CAR DOOR OPENS)

Hi, Dad.

Sorry about the mess. I- I'll clean it up.

(WATER SLOSHES)

- Me think I better go. - See ya, Peej.

- P.J.: Don't forget... Powerline! - MAX: Shh!

Well, here you go, Navigator.

Just follow my route on the map, son.

Okay.

Um, huh...

Here comes our junction.

Okay, Max, now this is it. Left or right?

Uh...

Come on, Max!

Uh, left!

(SIGH OF RELIEF)

Uh... how 'bout a song, Dad?

Uh... a game?

A game. Yeah! Yeah, a game. Okay.

Uh... a man or woman?

A man? Man, okay. Uh... Walt Disney!

(CAR SCREECHES TO A HALT)

(GOOFY GRUNTS)

(SIGHS)

Dad...

Listen, about my directions...

Will you listen to me? I gotta tell you somethin', Dad.

Why bother? I'm probably too stupid to understand anyway.

Right?

Ah, forget it.

H- H-Hey, the car!

- What? Now you want to drive, too? - No, Dad.

The car! Look!

The car!

(METAL SCREECHING)

What'd you do now, Max?

I didn't do anything, Dad. I only touched it.

W- W-Whoa!

You locked it!

I locked it? It's your door. You locked it.

Well, you distracted me.

Whoa!

- You should've put the brake on. - (METAL SCREECHING)

Why don't you just put it on yourself?

See? You ruin everything.

(CLANKING)

W- well, y-you r-ruined the vacation.

- MAX: I ruined it? - (CRASHING)

- (CRASHING CONTINUES) - I never... wanted to go...

on this stupid...

vacation!

Ah! Ah!

- Now look where you've got us, Dad! - Where I got us?

- You should've let me stay at home. - Why?

So you'd end up in prison?

Prison? What are you talkin' about?

- Your principal called me. - It's not what you think.

- You even lied to me! - (CRASH)

I had to! You were ruining my life.

I was only tryin' to take my boy fishin', okay?

I'm not your little boy any more, Dad!

I've grown up.

I've got my own life now.

I know that!

I just wanted to be part of it.

You're my son, Max.

No matter how big you get,

you'll always be my son.

(SPLASH)

(SONG BEGINS)

MAX: (SINGS) There are times you drive me Shall we say, bananas

And your mind is missin' No offense, a screw

None taken.

Still, whatever mess I land in

Who is always understandin'?

Nobody else but you

Oh, your moodiness is Now and then bewilderin'

And your values may be So to speak, askew

- Gesundheit. - Thanks.

Who deserves a hero's trophy

As we face each catastro-phee?

Nobody else but you

MAX AND GOOFY: (SINGING) Nobody else but you

It's just our luck

We're stuck together

Nobody else but you

It's crazy enough to believe We'll come through

So your jokes are all Let's face it, prehistoric

And your music sounds Like monkeys in a zoo

But when life becomes distressin'

Who will I be SOS-in'?

If you're havin' trouble guessing

Here's a clue

Though he seems intoxicated

He's just highly animated

And he's nobody else but

Nobody else but you

We've turned into

A true-blue duo

Hard times, we've had a few

Like we're thrown in the drink

Like we're tossed out of town

But when I start to sink

Hey, I'd rather go down

With nobody else

But Y-O-U

- (KISSES) - Aw, Dad!

(SONG ENDS)

MAX: Anyway, I figure she's never gonna want to talk to me again,

much less go out with me.

- What a dumb lie, huh? - What do you know?

My Maxie... in love.

Gosh, you're really growin' up.

It happened so fast... I guess I sort of missed it.

Well, I think the only thing for us to do now

is to get you up onstage with this Powerline feller.

(MAX CHUCKLES) Uh, how are we gonna do that?

- Well, you just leave that up to me. - No, Dad, really,

I- I think we should just, you know, forget it.

Now how come you always think I'm gonna lead you into some sort of calamity?

Uh, uh, Dad? Dad?

- What's wrong now? - Look!

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Ayuk! A waterfall.

Waterfall!

(BOTH GASP)

(BOTH YELL)

Dad!

Max!

(GRUNTS, COUGHS)

Grab ahold, Max!

(GRUNTS)

- No! - (GASPS)

No! Ah! (GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

Whoa!

(GASPS IN FEAR)

(CRIES OUT)

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Dad!

(GRUNTS)

Aaaaaaah!

Ten o'clock, two o'clock, quarter to three. Tour jeté.

Twist. I'm a little teapot

Let her fly!

(GOOFY SCREAMS)

Huh? (GRUNTS)

Aaah! Aah! Aah!

(STRAINED GRUNTING)

(RELIEVED CHUCKLE)

(RELIEVED SIGH)

The perfect cast.

Boy, this has been one crazy vacation.

And it's not over yet!

- (RIOTOUS CHEERING) - (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

(THUDS)

- (WHISPERS) Dad. - (SONG BEGINS)

Oof. We made it!

Come on, Max. Let's get you onstage.

Uh, maybe this isn't such a good idea.

(SINGING) Yeah, yeah

Oh, then again...

Dad? Dad!

POWERLINE: (SINGING) Heyyeah

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)

(SINGS) I got myself a notion

(CROWD CHEERS)

One I know that you'll understand

We set the world in motion

By reaching out for each other's hand

- Dad? - Maybe we'll discover

What we should have known all along

- What are you doin' here? Hey! - Yeah

- One way or another - Max? Max?

- Together's where we both belong - (SCREAMS)

If we listen to each other's heart

We'll find we're never too far apart

And maybe love is the reason why

For the first time ever

We're seein' it I-2-I

That Goof kid ain't there.

Don't worry, he'll be there.

- Seein' it I-2-I - (GRUNTS)

Seein' it I-2-I

Excuse me. Uh...

Seein' it I-2-I

- I think we're seein' it - Max?

Yeow-ee! Yeow-ee!

(YOWLS)

Hey, Dad. Dad!

Do the perfect cast!

(CROWD CHEERS)

If you're ever lonely

Stop, you don't have to be

Whoa! Whoaaa!

After all, it's only a beat away

From you to me

- Take a look inside to see - Yeah

If we listen to each other's heart

Yeah! Max is on the tube! That's Max. I know him...

And maybe love is the reason why

For the first time ever We're seein' it I-2-I

- He did it! - (CHOKES, COUGHS)

Seein' it I-2-I

Seein' it I-2-I, baby

- WOMAN: For the first time - For the first time

- Seein' it, seein' it, baby - Yeah!

- Yeah, yeah - (LAUGHS)

For the first time ever Yeah, yeah, yeah

Come on, baby

- I-2-I - I-2-I

I-2-I

Yeah, I-2-I

(CROWD CHEERS)

(CAR ENGINE SPUTTERS)

(CAR BACKFIRES)

(CLANGS)

You're doin' the right thing, son.

Yeah, I know.

But she'll probably never talk to me again.

Well, if she doesn't...

maybe she's just not the one for you.

That's what I'm afraid of.

(DEEP SIGH)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(DOOR OPENS)

(GROWLS)

Ah, hi! Remember me?

- (DOOR SLAMS SHUT) - ROXANNE: Daddy!

Max, I saw you on TV.

You were great!

Yeah? I mean, no, no.

I mean, uh...

Roxanne, I lied to you. I don't even know Powerline.

What are you talking about? A billion people saw you dance with him.

Yeah, well...

I never met him before... the concert, that is.

You mean that story about Powerline and your dad...

Why would you make up something like that?

I don't know.

I guess I just... wanted you to like me.

I already liked you, Max.

From the very first time I heard you laugh.

"Ayuk. " (CHUCKLES)

So, you wanna do something tonight?

Definitely! Oh! Oh, no, I can't. I can't.

What?

Well, I'm kinda doin' somethin' with my dad.

Honest!

- How 'bout tomorrow? - Deal.

(GIGGLES)

Ayuk! Ha-ha-ha-ha-yuk!

(CHUCKLES)

(CLANKING)

(GOOFY HUMS)

(LOUD EXPLOSION)

- (WHISTLING) - Yeow-hoo-hoo-hooee!

(LOUD CRASH)

(CHUCKLES)

Roxanne, I'd like you to meet my dad.

Enchanté, mademoiselle.

(ALL LAUGH)

(SONG BEGINS)

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I got myself a notion

And one I know that you'll understand

We'll set the world in motion

By reaching out for each other's hand

Maybe we'll discover

What we should have known all along

Yeah

One way or another Together's where we both belong

If we listen to each other's heart

We'll find we're never too far apart

And maybe love is the reason why

For the first time ever We're seein' it I-2-I

If a wall should come between us

Too high to climb Too hard to break through

I know that love will lead us

And find a way to bring me to you

So don't be in a hurry

Think before you count us out

Oh, you don't have to worry

- I will never let you down - Nothin's gonna stop us now

If we listen to each other's heart

We'll find we're never too far apart

And maybe love is the reason why

For the first time ever We're seein' it I-2-I

Yes, we're seein' it I-2-I

Yes, we are

Seein' it I-2-I

Seein' it I-2-I

Seein' it I-2-I

I guess we're seein' it I-2-I, yeah

I-2-I

If you're ever lonely, stop

You don't have to be

After all it's only A beat away from you to me

Take a look inside to see, yeah

If we listen to each other's heart

We'll find we're never too far apart

And maybe love is the reason why

For the first time ever We're seein' it I-2-I

If we listen to each other's heart

We'll find we're never too far apart

And maybe love is the reason why

For the first time ever We're seein' it I-2-I

Seein' it I-2-I

Seein' it I-2-I, baby

For the first time

For the first time

Seein' it, seein' it, baby

Seein' it I-2-I, yeah

For the first time ever Yeah, yeah, yeah

Seein' it, baby, we're seein' it I-2-I

I-2-I, yeah

Come on, baby, I-2-I

I-2-I, I-2-I

Yeah, I-2-I

GOOFY: Yeow-hoo-hoo-hooee!