All language subtitles for Erotic Agent 2
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1
00:03:33,451 --> 00:03:36,514
天清氣朗,知己同游
2
00:03:37,025 --> 00:03:38,493
把酒言歡
3
00:03:39,062 --> 00:03:41,828
暢快,真暢快
4
00:03:42,101 --> 00:03:43,968
鄭公子,你說得沒錯
5
00:03:44,239 --> 00:03:46,835
在這麼美好的天氣下吟詩作對
6
00:03:47,077 --> 00:03:48,170
一樂也
7
00:03:48,514 --> 00:03:51,280
對,正說中我心意
8
00:03:53,724 --> 00:03:55,785
但是 但是什麼?
9
00:03:56,095 --> 00:03:57,290
這是我說的話?
10
00:04:02,641 --> 00:04:05,204
你幹什麼?逃難嗎?
11
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:07,913
公子真懂得說笑
12
00:04:08,186 --> 00:04:10,679
若我真的逃難又怎會走來文社呢
13
00:04:13,329 --> 00:04:15,493
你又不算笨
14
00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:16,792
說得對…
15
00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:18,700
來…先坐下
16
00:04:18,974 --> 00:04:20,807
坐下來慢慢閒聊
17
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:26,180
看見你特別高興的,真不知何解
18
00:04:27,690 --> 00:04:28,919
有酒喝
19
00:04:29,361 --> 00:04:31,797
差點兒忘記你是喜歡杯中物的
20
00:04:32,032 --> 00:04:34,093
來…乾杯…
21
00:04:34,371 --> 00:04:36,898
試一下這是美酒
22
00:04:37,977 --> 00:04:39,138
真的是美酒
23
00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,284
只是喝酒真的沒興趣
24
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,986
不如我們玩一下智力遊戲吧
25
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,387
這些遊戲我不行的
26
00:04:48,631 --> 00:04:51,762
我就是知道你不行才跟你玩
27
00:04:52,539 --> 00:04:53,370
這…
28
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:54,904
我的意思是
29
00:04:55,178 --> 00:04:56,612
你的見解獨特
30
00:04:56,881 --> 00:04:59,512
答案永遠出人意表
31
00:05:00,855 --> 00:05:03,486
原來如此,我也不知道的
32
00:05:03,661 --> 00:05:05,220
來吧…開始…
33
00:05:05,432 --> 00:05:06,866
你出題目,由你來出題,來吧
34
00:05:07,101 --> 00:05:07,659
我有
35
00:05:07,836 --> 00:05:09,236
快說吧
36
00:05:09,673 --> 00:05:11,198
從前有一個啞吧
37
00:05:11,576 --> 00:05:12,772
他要買一雙筷子
38
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,073
他便做出吃飯的動作給老闆看
39
00:05:15,384 --> 00:05:17,081
老闆便完全明白了
40
00:05:17,321 --> 00:05:19,223
接著,有一個瞎子
41
00:05:19,626 --> 00:05:20,685
我知道…
42
00:05:20,961 --> 00:05:22,225
你知道什麼?
43
00:05:22,498 --> 00:05:23,966
那個啞吧是瞎子的親戚
44
00:05:24,469 --> 00:05:26,598
他媽的,我都不是問這問題
45
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,534
你叫蠢旦,名副其實的蠢蛋
46
00:05:30,648 --> 00:05:33,050
剛才說到有一個瞎子
47
00:05:33,285 --> 00:05:34,686
他想買一幅墨鏡子
48
00:05:34,956 --> 00:05:37,483
你怎樣可以告訴老闆呢?
49
00:05:38,930 --> 00:05:40,159
我知道…
50
00:05:40,433 --> 00:05:43,234
你知道什麼?打擾了我的思維
51
00:05:44,074 --> 00:05:46,044
有人知道嗎?限時三十秒
52
00:05:46,311 --> 00:05:48,281
沒有,我便揭中
53
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:51,686
這是什麼題目,是人答的嗎?
54
00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:56,455
對了,蠢旦
55
00:05:56,699 --> 00:05:58,361
你說知道,你來答吧
56
00:05:58,636 --> 00:06:00,161
什麼?我可以說出答案
57
00:06:01,474 --> 00:06:02,943
那瞎子懂得說話
58
00:06:03,211 --> 00:06:04,737
可以直接告訴老闆的
59
00:06:07,887 --> 00:06:10,050
怎樣?我答對了嗎?
60
00:06:11,094 --> 00:06:13,792
真棒…那麼便要先喝一杯酒了
61
00:06:18,441 --> 00:06:19,340
真的是美酒
62
00:06:19,543 --> 00:06:21,740
蠢旦,有點事情想問一下你
63
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,277
你還是處男之身嗎?
64
00:06:25,722 --> 00:06:26,951
什麼?
65
00:06:27,225 --> 00:06:30,629
別告訴我你並沒有碰過女性
66
00:06:32,001 --> 00:06:33,868
你真的可憐
67
00:06:35,474 --> 00:06:38,207
那當然,我自幼家貧
68
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,507
那有多餘金錢結識女孩
69
00:06:41,118 --> 00:06:44,250
錢?我多的是
70
00:06:44,559 --> 00:06:45,686
一場同學
71
00:06:46,363 --> 00:06:47,956
很久沒有幫助過你了
72
00:06:48,232 --> 00:06:51,068
我替你召一位妓女,錢由我支付
73
00:06:53,610 --> 00:06:56,604
你別道謝我了
74
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,613
今晚你只要在家裡等待
75
00:06:58,954 --> 00:07:00,855
她叫詩詩,是一位名妓
76
00:07:01,158 --> 00:07:02,854
我負責金錢,你儘管發洩慾火
77
00:07:03,362 --> 00:07:04,591
這樣決定吧
78
00:07:07,437 --> 00:07:08,405
鄭公子
79
00:07:08,706 --> 00:07:10,004
為什麼你這般好人的
80
00:07:11,312 --> 00:07:13,805
我跟本就是好人你現在才知道嗎
81
00:07:15,152 --> 00:07:17,715
鄭公子,敏姑娘正在前來
82
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,291
詩詩姑娘今晚子時會到你家中
83
00:07:21,497 --> 00:07:22,726
快走吧…
84
00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:23,996
為什麼這般急促,酒我還沒喝光
85
00:07:24,337 --> 00:07:25,430
走吧,若不走詩詩姑娘
86
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,141
今晚不會到你家中的,趕快走
87
00:07:27,409 --> 00:07:29,777
是 快走…
88
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:35,180
哥哥,那一位是朱公子嗎?
89
00:07:35,459 --> 00:07:37,018
他為何那麼急促地離開?
90
00:07:37,363 --> 00:07:41,166
急著解手,難道在你面前解手嗎
91
00:07:41,436 --> 00:07:43,771
哥哥,我始終都是女兒家
92
00:07:44,042 --> 00:07:46,512
你常在我面前說這些鄙褻語
93
00:08:02,244 --> 00:08:04,477
鄭公子人品也不錯
94
00:08:05,317 --> 00:08:07,412
同學們經常說他人品壞
95
00:08:08,523 --> 00:08:10,756
一點都不像
96
00:08:12,497 --> 00:08:16,335
但是這樣好像對不起阿敏
97
00:08:18,309 --> 00:08:20,074
怎麼辦呢?
98
00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:23,885
但是
99
00:08:24,154 --> 00:08:27,718
詩詩始終是本村第一美女
100
00:08:27,995 --> 00:08:31,799
若錯失大好良機,難以再遇上
101
00:08:34,507 --> 00:08:36,136
怎麼辦呢?
102
00:08:46,564 --> 00:08:48,431
這個朱爾旦真的笨
103
00:08:48,769 --> 00:08:50,329
當然勿失良機
104
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,838
真是難為了我要做你的守護神
105
00:08:53,110 --> 00:08:54,909
好,讓我來幫一下你
106
00:08:55,181 --> 00:08:56,342
好讓你快點決定
107
00:08:59,189 --> 00:09:01,922
這大好良機,錯失後難以再遇上
108
00:09:02,195 --> 00:09:04,256
別管那麼多,成了事才算吧
109
00:09:12,182 --> 00:09:15,552
好像有人跟我話說似的
110
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:23,730
怎麼辦呢?
111
00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:26,335
沒錯
112
00:09:26,677 --> 00:09:28,043
船到橋頭自然直
113
00:09:28,279 --> 00:09:30,112
擔心也是沒有用的
114
00:09:34,592 --> 00:09:36,425
渾身不自然的
115
00:09:36,696 --> 00:09:38,825
還是換回剛才那套衣服吧
116
00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:14,199
請坐
117
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:24,318
你在幹什麼?
118
00:10:28,197 --> 00:10:29,995
我都不知道幹什麼?
119
00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:34,440
鄭公子叫我來是跟你造愛
120
00:10:34,776 --> 00:10:36,108
不是來跟你聊天
121
00:10:36,547 --> 00:10:39,040
是…鄭公子叫…
122
00:10:39,285 --> 00:10:40,720
是叫你來,不過
123
00:10:40,955 --> 00:10:42,514
我不懂得怎麼幹的?
124
00:10:44,630 --> 00:10:47,430
鄭公子說你還是處男
125
00:10:47,701 --> 00:10:49,193
這是真的嗎?
126
00:10:55,284 --> 00:10:57,811
真棒,極品
127
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:03,955
來,來吧…
128
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:10,004
既然你什麼都不懂
129
00:11:10,246 --> 00:11:11,840
那麼我來幫你吧
130
00:11:12,083 --> 00:11:14,519
今晚由我全權主動負責
131
00:11:14,754 --> 00:11:16,246
有問題嗎?
132
00:11:19,230 --> 00:11:21,427
沒有問題,這麼更好吧
133
00:11:21,735 --> 00:11:23,830
我可以學多一點東西
134
00:11:32,189 --> 00:11:34,056
幹什麼閉上雙目?
135
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:36,726
我害怕
136
00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:39,997
害怕什麼?
137
00:11:40,806 --> 00:11:42,707
你張開雙目看一下
138
00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:45,879
跟著就不捨得再閉上雙目了
139
00:11:56,136 --> 00:11:58,664
想玩一些更刺激嗎?
140
00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:04,915
好吧,那麼你先閉上雙目
141
00:12:06,189 --> 00:12:08,159
不許動的
142
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,857
好,好的
143
00:12:41,057 --> 00:12:43,927
行嗎?這麼久的?
144
00:12:49,139 --> 00:12:52,043
為什麼會如此?為何要綁著我?
145
00:12:54,851 --> 00:12:56,376
鄭公子吩咐
146
00:12:56,721 --> 00:12:58,190
我當然要照做
147
00:13:06,574 --> 00:13:08,008
真丟臉
148
00:13:15,357 --> 00:13:18,420
好,你跟我回去做我的奴隸吧
149
00:13:33,159 --> 00:13:34,856
怎會這樣的?
150
00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:49,183
經常也被人欺負的
151
00:13:49,491 --> 00:13:50,789
各人都在欺騙我…
152
00:13:51,061 --> 00:13:53,224
欺騙我…
153
00:14:00,847 --> 00:14:02,942
全世界都在欺騙我
154
00:14:12,569 --> 00:14:15,507
剛才親眼看見有東西走過的
155
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,800
人笨真的無藥可救
156
00:14:31,106 --> 00:14:32,973
連樹木也來欺負我
157
00:14:37,051 --> 00:14:38,110
救命
158
00:14:38,353 --> 00:14:39,412
救命
159
00:14:39,689 --> 00:14:41,283
救命…
160
00:14:41,593 --> 00:14:42,788
救命
161
00:14:43,464 --> 00:14:46,402
救命
162
00:14:48,874 --> 00:14:51,778
這位兄台,你在這幹什麼?
163
00:14:53,450 --> 00:14:56,046
想請問你,有看見野狗嗎?
164
00:14:56,556 --> 00:15:00,290
沒有,剛才沿路來沒看見有野狗
165
00:15:01,132 --> 00:15:03,034
真好沒有野狗了,真好
166
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:04,429
你很害怕野狗嗎?
167
00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:06,767
是,我從小就很害怕野狗的
168
00:15:07,043 --> 00:15:09,707
當野狗走近時便毛骨悚然很害怕
169
00:15:09,983 --> 00:15:11,383
真的感謝你,兄台
170
00:15:11,652 --> 00:15:13,383
別客氣,我沒幹過什麼?
171
00:15:14,625 --> 00:15:17,791
我很固執,說了要報答便要報答
172
00:15:18,131 --> 00:15:19,532
我有恩必報的
173
00:15:20,403 --> 00:15:21,701
我還有少許要求
174
00:15:21,939 --> 00:15:25,173
請問你,西山村怎樣去呢?
175
00:15:25,780 --> 00:15:26,679
西山村
176
00:15:27,082 --> 00:15:31,716
只要過了這座山,轉左,走三里
177
00:15:31,992 --> 00:15:34,964
再直走,走五個時辰便到了
178
00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:40,002
今晚我辦妥事後再回來跟你暢飲
179
00:15:40,509 --> 00:15:41,977
兄台,你也喜歡杯中物嗎?
180
00:15:42,213 --> 00:15:43,374
是的
181
00:15:43,949 --> 00:15:45,942
小兄弟,請問你住在哪兒?
182
00:15:46,253 --> 00:15:47,688
我就住在憐近
183
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:50,621
是住在這座山的背後
184
00:15:50,963 --> 00:15:52,796
好,今晚辦妥事後
185
00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:54,499
馬上回來跟你暢飲
186
00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:58,804
兄台,你一來一回恐怕趕不及
187
00:15:59,112 --> 00:16:00,102
天色已晚了
188
00:16:00,348 --> 00:16:03,047
你放心,我腳步快能日行千里
189
00:16:03,287 --> 00:16:05,757
我說行便行,今晚必定跟你暢飲
190
00:16:06,159 --> 00:16:07,627
小兄弟,你叫什麼名字?
191
00:16:08,029 --> 00:16:09,122
我叫朱爾旦
192
00:16:09,399 --> 00:16:10,958
好,今晚見吧
193
00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:14,772
兄台,你叫什麼名字?
194
00:16:18,651 --> 00:16:20,883
竟然有人害怕野狗的?
195
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:23,514
糟了
196
00:16:24,061 --> 00:16:25,825
你遺留了東西
197
00:16:32,778 --> 00:16:35,443
今晚見面時才交還給他吧
198
00:16:43,298 --> 00:16:46,134
那位兄台還不回來取書的?
199
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,700
這是什麼書呢?
200
00:16:51,448 --> 00:16:53,816
偷看人家東西很缺得的
201
00:16:54,087 --> 00:16:55,851
一定被媽媽責罵
202
00:16:58,195 --> 00:17:02,157
若這書他急用怎麼辦呢?
203
00:17:02,503 --> 00:17:04,096
看少許不打緊吧
204
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,919
生死冊
205
00:17:14,827 --> 00:17:16,693
生死冊?
206
00:17:19,403 --> 00:17:20,371
生死冊?
207
00:17:20,638 --> 00:17:21,367
是的
208
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,073
是生死冊
209
00:17:24,346 --> 00:17:26,008
大爺,饒命
210
00:17:26,450 --> 00:17:28,682
你有看過書的內容嗎?
211
00:17:28,921 --> 00:17:29,946
沒有
212
00:17:30,491 --> 00:17:31,355
真的沒有?
213
00:17:31,627 --> 00:17:32,754
真的沒有
214
00:17:33,564 --> 00:17:35,430
真的沒有? 大爺,饒命
215
00:17:35,668 --> 00:17:36,966
真的沒有…
216
00:17:37,237 --> 00:17:41,541
什麼饒命?我沒有說要取你性命
217
00:17:41,779 --> 00:17:42,712
過來坐吧
218
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:44,412
過來吧
219
00:17:44,852 --> 00:17:46,185
大爺,饒命
220
00:17:46,722 --> 00:17:48,054
大爺,饒命
221
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,397
我相信你沒有看過生死冊
222
00:17:51,732 --> 00:17:54,761
看你便知道你是老實人不會說謊
223
00:17:55,072 --> 00:17:55,937
你真的相信我嗎?
224
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:57,634
相信
225
00:17:58,713 --> 00:17:59,840
喝酒好嗎?
226
00:18:00,082 --> 00:18:01,516
好… 好
227
00:18:01,786 --> 00:18:03,254
對了,剛才臨別前
228
00:18:03,489 --> 00:18:04,822
你不是想問我的名字嗎?
229
00:18:05,159 --> 00:18:06,593
是的 是
230
00:18:06,863 --> 00:18:07,830
我告訴你
231
00:18:08,165 --> 00:18:11,365
我姓陸,單一名字判
232
00:18:11,605 --> 00:18:12,470
是,陸判
233
00:18:12,940 --> 00:18:13,930
別走
234
00:18:14,911 --> 00:18:16,881
陸判,陸判是判定人生死的
235
00:18:17,149 --> 00:18:19,518
陸判大爺…饒命…
236
00:18:19,787 --> 00:18:22,816
我說不殺你便不會殺掉你
237
00:18:23,094 --> 00:18:25,565
你再不坐下,我真的會把你殺掉
238
00:18:25,766 --> 00:18:27,736
知道,坐下…
239
00:18:28,104 --> 00:18:29,629
你真的麻煩
240
00:18:29,908 --> 00:18:32,708
我陸判決定誰死,他必定會死
241
00:18:32,947 --> 00:18:33,937
是,死…
242
00:18:35,485 --> 00:18:37,250
聽從我嗎? 聽從
243
00:18:37,556 --> 00:18:38,581
是聽從我嗎? 我聽
244
00:18:38,791 --> 00:18:41,228
喝酒 喝酒…
245
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,897
乾杯 好的
246
00:18:48,109 --> 00:18:50,136
看不出你的酒量不淺
247
00:18:50,715 --> 00:18:55,383
當然,我跟人鬥酒量從沒有敗過
248
00:18:55,691 --> 00:18:57,183
你也不例外
249
00:18:57,761 --> 00:19:01,360
口出狂言,不怕我殺掉你嗎?
250
00:19:02,571 --> 00:19:03,937
我怕什麼?
251
00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:06,006
你是陸判大爺
252
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:10,547
你曾說不殺我,我又怎會死呢?
253
00:19:11,422 --> 00:19:13,357
有膽量,我喜歡
254
00:19:14,094 --> 00:19:15,323
喝吧
255
00:19:20,706 --> 00:19:22,232
這樣吧
256
00:19:22,510 --> 00:19:24,309
既然我們那麼投契
257
00:19:24,814 --> 00:19:26,579
我們結拜為兄弟吧
258
00:19:27,754 --> 00:19:29,951
好主意,跟我來
259
00:19:33,232 --> 00:19:35,634
我說一句,你隨我說一句
260
00:19:35,936 --> 00:19:36,767
好的
261
00:19:36,972 --> 00:19:38,235
聽著 是
262
00:19:38,509 --> 00:19:39,373
皇天在上
263
00:19:40,378 --> 00:19:41,574
皇天在上
264
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,408
我陸判
265
00:19:43,719 --> 00:19:46,748
今天與朱爾旦結拜為異性兄弟
266
00:19:46,992 --> 00:19:48,051
我陸,不是
267
00:19:48,194 --> 00:19:52,396
我朱爾旦與陸判結拜為兄弟
268
00:19:53,137 --> 00:19:55,334
異性兄弟 異性兄弟
269
00:19:56,811 --> 00:20:01,378
對了,我倆誰是大哥呢?
270
00:20:01,654 --> 00:20:04,216
你傻的,你還沒有出生我便存在
271
00:20:04,493 --> 00:20:06,086
你說誰是大哥呢?
272
00:20:06,797 --> 00:20:07,992
這又說得對
273
00:20:08,735 --> 00:20:10,169
我陸判為大哥
274
00:20:10,571 --> 00:20:12,040
朱爾旦為小弟
275
00:20:12,708 --> 00:20:14,337
我朱爾旦為小弟
276
00:20:14,812 --> 00:20:17,045
拜陸判為大哥
277
00:20:17,318 --> 00:20:19,379
今後有福同享,有難同當
278
00:20:19,655 --> 00:20:22,650
今後有福同享,有難同當
279
00:20:22,895 --> 00:20:24,022
好了,儀式完成
280
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,665
好了,儀式完成
281
00:20:26,034 --> 00:20:26,967
好弟弟
282
00:20:27,471 --> 00:20:28,734
好大哥
283
00:20:29,207 --> 00:20:32,304
以後每晚我都來跟你開懷暢飲
284
00:20:32,548 --> 00:20:33,743
好,當然可以
285
00:23:56,748 --> 00:23:58,775
為什麼昨晚…
286
00:24:01,256 --> 00:24:03,819
真的被她玩弄得要命
287
00:24:04,763 --> 00:24:06,790
做夢而已
288
00:24:14,716 --> 00:24:16,184
阿旦,去哪兒?
289
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:17,783
過來吧
290
00:24:21,496 --> 00:24:22,623
你趕著去哪兒?
291
00:24:22,866 --> 00:24:23,891
沒有,剛想起家中有事
292
00:24:24,235 --> 00:24:25,168
要回家一趟
293
00:24:25,838 --> 00:24:27,500
坐下吧
294
00:24:31,115 --> 00:24:34,246
你想把昨夜的風流事宣揚開去嗎
295
00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:38,027
你忘記我昨日說的事嗎?
296
00:24:38,263 --> 00:24:39,663
我叫你東走便不能往西走
297
00:24:39,899 --> 00:24:40,889
我叫你西走便不能往東走
298
00:24:41,235 --> 00:24:44,070
你忘記了嗎? 記得…
299
00:24:44,742 --> 00:24:47,372
鄭公子,今天有什麼玩兒呢?
300
00:24:47,681 --> 00:24:49,674
每次都是我們出題目那有好玩的
301
00:24:49,919 --> 00:24:52,219
讓點機會蠢旦出題目才對
302
00:24:52,556 --> 00:24:54,492
免得外間說我們欺負他
303
00:24:54,795 --> 00:24:56,058
那就不好了
304
00:24:56,999 --> 00:24:59,561
是,是的
305
00:24:59,837 --> 00:25:01,500
那麼你還不出題目?
306
00:25:01,841 --> 00:25:03,174
題目別那麼高深
307
00:25:03,412 --> 00:25:07,044
免得我不懂時亂說便出醜是嗎?
308
00:25:11,928 --> 00:25:15,367
對不起,我實在想不到
309
00:25:16,070 --> 00:25:18,006
有什麼問題可以發問
310
00:25:18,274 --> 00:25:19,868
你那麼差勁的
311
00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:22,774
你名符其實的蠢蛋,沒改錯名字
312
00:25:23,050 --> 00:25:24,143
這樣吧
313
00:25:24,186 --> 00:25:27,420
叫我們三位一聲契哥,便饒恕你
314
00:25:33,838 --> 00:25:35,467
三位契哥
315
00:25:35,808 --> 00:25:38,575
大聲一點,聽不到
316
00:25:40,585 --> 00:25:42,144
三位契哥
317
00:25:42,554 --> 00:25:44,649
我蠢,我不中用
318
00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:46,852
我既沒有才學
319
00:25:47,131 --> 00:25:49,658
又及不上三位契哥聰明
320
00:25:50,037 --> 00:25:52,007
我不中用,這樣可以嗎?
321
00:25:52,274 --> 00:25:54,836
那麼多人在把酒對答真熱鬧
322
00:25:55,147 --> 00:25:56,581
可否預我份兒呢?
323
00:25:58,118 --> 00:25:59,712
這位公子是
324
00:25:59,989 --> 00:26:02,825
你好…在下是西山村人仕
325
00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:04,759
路經此地看見幾位那麼有雅興
326
00:26:05,066 --> 00:26:06,500
在這裡把酒對答
327
00:26:06,936 --> 00:26:09,772
想奏奏熱鬧,可以預我份兒嗎?
328
00:26:10,042 --> 00:26:13,481
好,反正身邊這廢物沒用的
329
00:26:13,883 --> 00:26:16,217
換上公子你可能更好玩
330
00:26:16,721 --> 00:26:18,691
還不快點讓坐
331
00:26:19,094 --> 00:26:20,562
公子,請坐吧
332
00:26:20,796 --> 00:26:21,889
請…
333
00:26:24,169 --> 00:26:26,970
是了,幾位兄台正在玩什麼遊戲
334
00:26:27,376 --> 00:26:29,642
看兄台你也是有學識之仕
335
00:26:29,848 --> 00:26:31,248
我們正在玩智力遊戲而已
336
00:26:31,484 --> 00:26:32,578
你有興趣嗎?
337
00:26:32,987 --> 00:26:34,114
當然有興趣
338
00:26:34,356 --> 00:26:36,919
但玩遊戲必定有勝負
339
00:26:37,195 --> 00:26:39,188
有勝負當要有獎有罰
340
00:26:39,466 --> 00:26:41,333
難得桌面上有酒
341
00:26:41,570 --> 00:26:44,064
不如這樣,我們輸了便喝一杯
342
00:26:44,309 --> 00:26:46,336
直至誰先投降好嗎?
343
00:26:46,580 --> 00:26:48,709
好的,真刺激
344
00:26:49,051 --> 00:26:50,384
現在開始好嗎?
345
00:26:50,588 --> 00:26:52,490
這樣吧,我初到貴境
346
00:26:53,059 --> 00:26:55,291
先由我出題目介意嗎?
347
00:26:55,698 --> 00:26:57,360
不介意
348
00:26:58,069 --> 00:26:59,128
問題是這樣的
349
00:26:59,338 --> 00:27:01,638
假設母親比兒子年長二十一歲
350
00:27:01,944 --> 00:27:03,037
六年之後
351
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,807
母親的年齡是兒子的五倍
352
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:07,417
請問
353
00:27:08,356 --> 00:27:09,415
他的父親在哪兒?
354
00:27:09,993 --> 00:27:11,791
我知道,父親在上班
355
00:27:13,833 --> 00:27:15,735
怎會如此簡單的?
356
00:27:16,272 --> 00:27:18,264
父親與母親離婚了
357
00:27:18,577 --> 00:27:20,045
現在與別的女性一起
358
00:27:20,279 --> 00:27:21,509
想像力好,但是錯的
359
00:27:22,450 --> 00:27:25,753
我知道了,父親跟本在母親身邊
360
00:27:26,058 --> 00:27:27,891
都沒有離開她們兩母子
361
00:27:29,966 --> 00:27:32,334
公子這題目真的博大精深
362
00:27:32,704 --> 00:27:33,763
答案是
363
00:27:34,541 --> 00:27:35,975
答案是
364
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,277
你們先喝了這杯,我才說出答案
365
00:27:40,519 --> 00:27:41,646
好
366
00:27:45,763 --> 00:27:47,858
豪氣…各位真的豪氣
367
00:27:48,201 --> 00:27:51,732
答案是,小孩在九個月後才出生
368
00:27:52,042 --> 00:27:54,809
固然之父親正在幹的事
369
00:27:55,115 --> 00:27:57,847
是在母親上面上上下下般移動
370
00:28:00,258 --> 00:28:02,558
我險些便猜到的
371
00:28:03,698 --> 00:28:06,295
鄭公子我知道你險些便會猜到的
372
00:28:06,537 --> 00:28:09,030
不要緊,現在我勝出繼續發問
373
00:28:09,343 --> 00:28:11,609
你們那麼聰明必定猜到的是嗎?
374
00:28:12,315 --> 00:28:15,652
可否列出十一點
375
00:28:15,955 --> 00:28:17,948
女性對男性的看法
376
00:28:27,111 --> 00:28:28,841
常常說我蠢
377
00:28:30,351 --> 00:28:32,321
難道我想那麼蠢的嗎?
378
00:28:32,588 --> 00:28:34,751
我與生俱來的便是這樣
379
00:28:35,159 --> 00:28:37,356
你猜我想的嗎?不可以嗎?
380
00:28:37,698 --> 00:28:39,428
是與生俱來的
381
00:28:39,936 --> 00:28:44,400
蠢,死蠢…
382
00:28:44,879 --> 00:28:50,322
剛才那位公子發是誰呢?
383
00:28:50,890 --> 00:28:53,828
好像似曾相識?
384
00:29:03,582 --> 00:29:06,075
還是小睡片刻好
385
00:29:07,924 --> 00:29:09,483
傻旦…
386
00:29:09,728 --> 00:29:11,994
公子發即是你大哥陸判大人了
387
00:29:12,299 --> 00:29:13,962
他在幫忙你還懵然不知
388
00:29:14,336 --> 00:29:16,101
真的蠢人無藥可救
389
00:29:19,847 --> 00:29:21,510
你真的傻人有傻福
390
00:29:21,784 --> 00:29:25,245
原來這次你與陸判大人結義
391
00:29:25,625 --> 00:29:26,786
是上天的按排
392
00:29:27,061 --> 00:29:28,860
不枉我做你的守護神
393
00:29:29,165 --> 00:29:30,759
好,讓你歇多一會
394
00:29:30,969 --> 00:29:33,439
讓你有精神飽滿來迎接新生命
395
00:29:49,539 --> 00:29:52,101
睡得腰酸背痛
396
00:29:52,945 --> 00:29:55,415
回家睡比較舒服點
397
00:29:58,422 --> 00:29:59,481
第一
398
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:15,178
不採取主動的男人
399
00:30:15,456 --> 00:30:17,858
而女人只採取主動那就糟糕
400
00:30:18,128 --> 00:30:20,429
他們多的認為女性好卑賤
401
00:30:20,733 --> 00:30:22,429
不值得娶回來做妻子
402
00:30:23,204 --> 00:30:25,140
這就是女性對男性的
403
00:30:25,542 --> 00:30:27,341
十一點看法
404
00:30:28,181 --> 00:30:29,410
你們輸得心服口服嗎?
405
00:30:29,650 --> 00:30:31,483
別說那麼多
406
00:30:33,625 --> 00:30:34,718
那邊環境好
407
00:30:34,995 --> 00:30:35,962
我們去那邊吧
408
00:30:36,130 --> 00:30:37,189
請
409
00:30:46,316 --> 00:30:48,149
說起讀書
410
00:30:52,061 --> 00:30:59,804
我又蠢,相信遲些便會退學
411
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,279
我家境既貧窮
412
00:31:03,651 --> 00:31:05,553
爹娘又早逝
413
00:31:07,224 --> 00:31:09,957
我相信我找份工作干會適合點
414
00:31:10,965 --> 00:31:13,401
為什麼你做人這麼沒自信的
415
00:31:13,704 --> 00:31:15,002
不應這樣的
416
00:31:15,608 --> 00:31:16,906
古語有云
417
00:31:17,210 --> 00:31:21,583
世上無難事,只怕有心人
418
00:31:21,887 --> 00:31:24,722
至於銀兩方面
419
00:31:27,097 --> 00:31:30,000
我這裡有你暫時拿去應急吧
420
00:31:30,970 --> 00:31:34,307
不可以,我不可能收你的銀兩
421
00:31:35,780 --> 00:31:37,009
我有力氣的
422
00:31:37,283 --> 00:31:39,686
若我肯工作,又怎會餓死呢?
423
00:31:40,355 --> 00:31:41,585
你真傻
424
00:31:41,859 --> 00:31:45,559
你知道嗎?現在你是求學時期
425
00:31:45,867 --> 00:31:47,837
不應該只想為工作
426
00:31:48,071 --> 00:31:51,134
當你學有所成找份有前途的工作
427
00:31:51,411 --> 00:31:53,142
便可以出人頭地了
428
00:31:55,319 --> 00:31:58,017
敏姑娘的好意我心領了,但是
429
00:31:58,291 --> 00:32:02,253
別說了,若不收下我會怒的
430
00:32:03,435 --> 00:32:05,165
敏姑娘,既然如此
431
00:32:05,438 --> 00:32:07,465
這些銀兩當作我向你借的
432
00:32:07,710 --> 00:32:10,340
當我學業有成時必定歸還給你
433
00:32:12,185 --> 00:32:15,955
不用還了,你心中有我便足夠
434
00:32:16,260 --> 00:32:18,059
我不知怎樣報答你才對
435
00:32:26,513 --> 00:32:29,313
阿敏,你放心吧
436
00:32:29,553 --> 00:32:32,855
若是我學業有成必定不會忘記你
437
00:32:33,961 --> 00:32:36,329
我相信我不會走留眼
438
00:32:38,136 --> 00:32:42,201
是了,剛才那位公子發你認識他
439
00:32:42,544 --> 00:32:44,639
公子發,我不認識他的
440
00:32:44,882 --> 00:32:46,784
我還以為你叫人幫我打圓場
441
00:32:47,287 --> 00:32:50,782
沒有,我沒有叫人幫你打圓場
442
00:32:50,994 --> 00:32:53,693
那麼他是誰呢?真奇怪?
443
00:32:57,608 --> 00:32:59,976
阿旦,過來一下吧
444
00:33:07,326 --> 00:33:11,130
枉我幫了你,居然說不認識我
445
00:33:11,768 --> 00:33:13,431
很感謝這位大哥的幫忙
446
00:33:13,705 --> 00:33:15,139
但我真的不認識你
447
00:33:15,542 --> 00:33:18,012
大哥?你都會叫我大哥
448
00:33:18,348 --> 00:33:19,714
你怎會不認識我呢?
449
00:33:20,118 --> 00:33:21,815
是大哥
450
00:33:23,057 --> 00:33:24,218
你是陸…
451
00:33:25,495 --> 00:33:27,966
不用那麼大聲,你知道便行
452
00:33:28,301 --> 00:33:29,360
認識我嗎?
453
00:33:29,636 --> 00:33:31,003
原來昨晚的事是真的?
454
00:33:32,042 --> 00:33:33,340
你又做夢嗎?
455
00:33:34,746 --> 00:33:35,475
真麻煩
456
00:33:35,548 --> 00:33:36,777
你們在說什麼?
457
00:33:37,585 --> 00:33:39,282
其實是這樣
458
00:33:39,589 --> 00:33:42,116
我是阿旦的遠房表哥
459
00:33:42,429 --> 00:33:44,695
剛巧經過,看見你哥哥難為他
460
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:46,993
我又看不過眼,便出手幫他
461
00:33:47,271 --> 00:33:50,505
是了,我見意你先回去看你哥哥
462
00:33:50,778 --> 00:33:53,841
因為你哥哥三人剛才輸掉給我
463
00:33:54,151 --> 00:33:56,417
現在難醉如泥,躺在地上了
464
00:33:56,756 --> 00:33:58,089
我恐怕他們著涼
465
00:33:59,462 --> 00:34:01,932
怎樣也好,多謝你幫阿旦
466
00:34:02,234 --> 00:34:03,668
那麼我先回去看看哥哥
467
00:34:03,970 --> 00:34:05,029
快點…
468
00:34:05,307 --> 00:34:07,208
再見 小心點
469
00:34:09,415 --> 00:34:14,049
看夠了嗎?走得老遠了
470
00:34:14,558 --> 00:34:17,028
回家吧,我有話跟你說 是
471
00:34:17,563 --> 00:34:18,531
走吧
472
00:34:24,277 --> 00:34:26,008
哥哥去了哪兒呢?
473
00:34:27,784 --> 00:34:29,583
你吃裡爬外
474
00:34:29,854 --> 00:34:32,451
你竟然請外人幫蠢旦對付我?
475
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:33,750
我沒有
476
00:34:34,029 --> 00:34:36,261
還說沒有,別當我傻的
477
00:34:36,535 --> 00:34:38,562
幸虧我扮醉才能騙到那笨蛋
478
00:34:38,839 --> 00:34:40,205
我真的沒有
479
00:34:40,475 --> 00:34:41,568
你用不多說了
480
00:34:41,812 --> 00:34:43,405
跟我回去把你關起來
481
00:34:43,648 --> 00:34:44,912
看你怎能再見那臭小子
482
00:34:54,269 --> 00:34:55,430
阿旦
483
00:34:55,705 --> 00:34:58,438
今天所見你確實有點問題
484
00:34:59,212 --> 00:35:00,875
我有什麼問題?
485
00:35:01,517 --> 00:35:04,352
你的問題是你太笨了
486
00:35:04,623 --> 00:35:07,355
世間上怎會有如此笨的人
487
00:35:09,532 --> 00:35:11,024
笨又如何?
488
00:35:11,302 --> 00:35:13,738
身體髮膚受之父母
489
00:35:14,008 --> 00:35:15,704
我並沒有怪責過他們
490
00:35:15,979 --> 00:35:18,916
好,有情,有義,有孝心
491
00:35:19,285 --> 00:35:22,314
有你這個義弟我也覺得光采
492
00:35:22,625 --> 00:35:24,891
但是沒用,我昨晚會告訴你
493
00:35:25,163 --> 00:35:27,498
有福同享,有難同當
494
00:35:27,768 --> 00:35:29,567
我今天一定要實踐這個諾言
495
00:35:31,543 --> 00:35:32,636
怎麼樣?
496
00:35:33,445 --> 00:35:35,608
怎麼樣?我決定幫你
497
00:35:36,485 --> 00:35:37,612
你能幫到我嗎?
498
00:35:37,855 --> 00:35:40,621
有,我首先跟你做一個測驗
499
00:35:40,860 --> 00:35:43,696
測試你的智力和應變能力有多少
500
00:35:44,935 --> 00:35:46,928
我會出一些題目考你
501
00:35:47,240 --> 00:35:48,299
看你能否回答
502
00:35:49,511 --> 00:35:50,536
好的
503
00:35:52,417 --> 00:35:54,010
好,就出這條題目
504
00:35:54,286 --> 00:35:56,849
我測試你的右腦袋有開發嗎?
505
00:35:59,731 --> 00:36:02,167
右腦與左腦袋有分別嗎?
506
00:36:03,939 --> 00:36:07,503
當然有,你們是平凡人不饒得的
507
00:36:07,779 --> 00:36:09,442
經過一千幾百萬年後
508
00:36:09,783 --> 00:36:11,412
便會有人研究出來
509
00:36:11,754 --> 00:36:15,592
人的右腦袋是用識別顏色
510
00:36:15,862 --> 00:36:17,627
左腦袋則是識別讀字
511
00:36:17,866 --> 00:36:18,834
明白嗎?
512
00:36:19,102 --> 00:36:21,903
現在上面的字有五種顏色
513
00:36:22,174 --> 00:36:24,110
我把顏色掉亂在文字中
514
00:36:24,345 --> 00:36:26,577
你十五秒內識別出顏色
515
00:36:26,851 --> 00:36:28,547
記著並不是文字,明白嗎?
516
00:36:29,289 --> 00:36:30,314
也許明白?
517
00:36:30,591 --> 00:36:32,026
明白便開始計時
518
00:36:36,269 --> 00:36:38,330
黃,不是
519
00:36:39,175 --> 00:36:43,548
綠,紅,藍,黑
520
00:36:43,950 --> 00:36:46,547
黃,藍,綠,這樣吧?
521
00:36:47,658 --> 00:36:51,062
現在證實你左右腦袋完全不協調
522
00:36:51,432 --> 00:36:53,561
這次測驗是失敗的
523
00:36:54,271 --> 00:36:56,207
我已說了我是笨的
524
00:36:56,976 --> 00:36:59,412
第一個測驗不成功不重要
525
00:36:59,715 --> 00:37:00,944
我現在測試第二種問題
526
00:37:01,218 --> 00:37:02,618
別那麼深澳
527
00:37:03,622 --> 00:37:05,785
對我來說很用易,但是
528
00:37:07,229 --> 00:37:08,391
先聽一下題目
529
00:37:08,632 --> 00:37:09,861
這是智力題目
530
00:37:10,335 --> 00:37:11,736
現在是深夜時昏
531
00:37:11,972 --> 00:37:13,167
甲,乙,丙,丁,四人
532
00:37:13,441 --> 00:37:15,240
要通過木橋前往赴約
533
00:37:15,512 --> 00:37:18,450
但是過木橋必須要帶備洋燭
534
00:37:18,685 --> 00:37:21,156
剛巧他們只有一枝洋燭
535
00:37:21,424 --> 00:37:24,726
而木橋每次只能容許二人通過
536
00:37:25,065 --> 00:37:28,595
通過木橋是要講求速度
537
00:37:28,905 --> 00:37:31,433
但四人的速度並不一樣
538
00:37:32,479 --> 00:37:36,213
換言之,快者與慢者的並行
539
00:37:36,487 --> 00:37:38,319
就以慢者作為計算
540
00:37:38,591 --> 00:37:40,993
但是通過木橋限時十七分鐘
541
00:37:41,229 --> 00:37:42,288
現在告訴你
542
00:37:42,565 --> 00:37:44,763
甲,需時一分鐘
543
00:37:45,004 --> 00:37:46,803
乙,需時二分鐘
544
00:37:47,074 --> 00:37:49,044
丙,需時五分鐘
545
00:37:49,312 --> 00:37:51,305
丁,需時十分鐘
546
00:37:51,750 --> 00:37:53,652
我來舉例子
547
00:37:53,954 --> 00:37:56,289
甲回到起點花了一分鐘
548
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:59,030
相對而言他們總花了十一分鐘
549
00:37:59,264 --> 00:38:00,460
那樣明白嗎?
550
00:38:03,507 --> 00:38:07,845
糟糕,睡著了,真的無藥可救
551
00:38:08,216 --> 00:38:10,186
差點兒,我必定救你的
552
00:38:37,072 --> 00:38:39,269
那隻大烏龜
553
00:38:39,744 --> 00:38:42,716
自己文采差便派我倆來查探
554
00:38:42,984 --> 00:38:46,115
怎會有如此小器的人在世上?
555
00:38:46,925 --> 00:38:49,795
你真是的,跟官不懂官威嗎?
556
00:38:50,064 --> 00:38:52,831
你應知道他的為人,還埋怨什麼
557
00:39:03,925 --> 00:39:06,395
是了,不是查探公子發嗎?
558
00:39:06,630 --> 00:39:08,395
為何要前往阿旦家中呢?
559
00:39:08,767 --> 00:39:13,209
你真笨,公子發是幫忙蠢旦的
560
00:39:13,444 --> 00:39:15,243
我們又不知道公子發住哪兒
561
00:39:15,514 --> 00:39:17,416
當然要去蠢旦家中了
562
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:19,655
難道會在你家中嗎?
563
00:39:19,923 --> 00:39:20,754
這又對
564
00:39:29,241 --> 00:39:32,771
說起來,我是甲,你是乙
565
00:39:33,049 --> 00:39:34,017
是
566
00:39:34,084 --> 00:39:36,714
甲比乙大,所以我職位比你高
567
00:39:37,124 --> 00:39:38,990
我現在回家睡覺
568
00:39:39,261 --> 00:39:43,166
你慢慢前往蠢旦家中,仔細看
569
00:39:43,636 --> 00:39:45,264
不是嘛,又是如此?
570
00:39:45,507 --> 00:39:48,273
別多說了,快去吧
571
00:39:48,512 --> 00:39:50,175
若不快點你今夜便沒有得睡覺
572
00:39:50,416 --> 00:39:51,179
等…
573
00:39:57,263 --> 00:39:58,196
醒了嗎?
574
00:39:58,565 --> 00:39:59,692
是的,大哥
575
00:40:01,404 --> 00:40:04,136
你昨夜正在問我問題,為什麼?
576
00:40:04,410 --> 00:40:06,539
慢著,先別問為什麼?
577
00:40:06,848 --> 00:40:09,843
昨夜的問題你還記得嗎?
578
00:40:11,591 --> 00:40:12,752
我先想一下
579
00:40:13,194 --> 00:40:15,187
記得便說出答案
580
00:40:15,799 --> 00:40:17,495
你認為我懂得回答嗎?
581
00:40:19,439 --> 00:40:22,172
今時不同往日,我說你懂你便懂
582
00:40:22,378 --> 00:40:23,368
回答吧
583
00:40:28,958 --> 00:40:30,291
我知道答案了
584
00:40:31,530 --> 00:40:33,500
甲與乙先走過木橋
585
00:40:33,901 --> 00:40:35,393
花了兩分鐘
586
00:40:35,671 --> 00:40:38,666
接著甲拿著洋燭回到起點
587
00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:40,173
又花了一分鐘
588
00:40:40,447 --> 00:40:43,248
然後是丙與丁走過木橋
589
00:40:43,586 --> 00:40:44,748
花了十分鐘
590
00:40:45,023 --> 00:40:47,289
接著乙又回到起點
591
00:40:47,661 --> 00:40:49,062
花了兩分鐘
592
00:40:49,298 --> 00:40:52,099
最後甲與乙再次走過木橋
593
00:40:52,371 --> 00:40:54,500
花了兩分鐘,對嗎?
594
00:40:55,844 --> 00:40:56,903
答得好
595
00:40:57,281 --> 00:40:59,683
不枉我替你換了全部的內臟
596
00:40:59,952 --> 00:41:01,581
答得快而準
597
00:41:02,223 --> 00:41:05,252
什麼?你替我換的全部的內臟
598
00:41:05,564 --> 00:41:06,827
有那麼神奇嗎?
599
00:41:07,768 --> 00:41:10,603
你是知道我是誰,有什麼難到我
600
00:41:12,610 --> 00:41:16,015
你原本的內臟既臭又腐爛
601
00:41:16,251 --> 00:41:17,776
難怪你那麼笨
602
00:41:18,088 --> 00:41:19,147
現在換然不同了
603
00:41:19,224 --> 00:41:21,353
我把你的內臟全部都換掉
604
00:41:21,661 --> 00:41:23,186
發揮最佳的狀態
605
00:41:23,699 --> 00:41:24,962
若考取狀元必能高中
606
00:41:25,736 --> 00:41:27,364
有這麼誇張嗎?
607
00:41:29,176 --> 00:41:31,647
換然一新後需要發揮一下
608
00:41:31,948 --> 00:41:33,075
不如出外玩一下吧
609
00:41:33,919 --> 00:41:36,389
找那個鄭公子玩一下吧,來
610
00:41:37,325 --> 00:41:38,224
好的
611
00:41:44,873 --> 00:41:48,335
這位大哥,在家中又不去茅廁
612
00:41:48,648 --> 00:41:50,048
外出後才說拉肚子
613
00:41:50,351 --> 00:41:51,842
真麻煩
614
00:41:54,893 --> 00:41:58,799
獨個兒真無聊,若有女孩陪多好
615
00:42:10,624 --> 00:42:12,389
這位姑娘很漂亮
616
00:42:13,229 --> 00:42:15,529
在村中從沒見過她?
617
00:42:16,402 --> 00:42:19,100
可能是住在村外的
618
00:42:23,082 --> 00:42:24,847
朱爾旦,你好嗎?
619
00:42:25,787 --> 00:42:26,982
你是叫我嗎?
620
00:42:27,457 --> 00:42:28,686
你認識我嗎?
621
00:42:28,994 --> 00:42:31,863
我當然認識你,我看著你出生的
622
00:42:32,533 --> 00:42:34,230
你看著我出生?
623
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,010
小姐,你有多少歲?
624
00:42:38,479 --> 00:42:40,209
年紀與我差不多
625
00:42:40,483 --> 00:42:42,247
你又怎會看著我出生?
626
00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:44,956
你想清楚一點,真的不認識我?
627
00:42:45,693 --> 00:42:47,218
我真的認識你嗎?
628
00:42:50,936 --> 00:42:54,136
好像有點印象,但是
629
00:42:55,512 --> 00:42:56,879
不會的
630
00:42:57,682 --> 00:43:00,779
若是想到的,不妨勇敢說出來吧
631
00:43:03,828 --> 00:43:07,096
就算我說出來,你也不會相信
632
00:43:08,036 --> 00:43:10,199
你不說又怎知道我不相信?
633
00:43:11,444 --> 00:43:12,844
我在夢中曾見過你
634
00:43:13,146 --> 00:43:14,911
說出來你也不會相信的
635
00:43:15,350 --> 00:43:18,618
相信,因為你所說全都是事實
636
00:43:19,459 --> 00:43:20,484
慢著
637
00:43:20,694 --> 00:43:22,095
我最近遇到的事都很奇怪?
638
00:43:22,398 --> 00:43:23,491
讓我組織一下
639
00:43:26,272 --> 00:43:28,970
首先我遇到陸判大哥
640
00:43:29,312 --> 00:43:31,144
然後他把我改造了
641
00:43:31,483 --> 00:43:33,213
說出來已經沒有人會相信
642
00:43:33,487 --> 00:43:35,582
接著又認識一位我不認識的女孩
643
00:43:35,891 --> 00:43:37,554
說在夢中認識我
644
00:43:37,962 --> 00:43:39,487
難道她又不是人
645
00:43:40,500 --> 00:43:44,167
陸判大爺改造你後果然不同凡響
646
00:43:44,441 --> 00:43:46,775
其實自你出生後我一直在你身邊
647
00:43:47,046 --> 00:43:49,346
我叫夢姬,是你的守護神
648
00:43:49,618 --> 00:43:50,916
我的守護神?
649
00:43:51,221 --> 00:43:52,416
為什麼以前你不出現
650
00:43:52,724 --> 00:43:54,216
現在卻出現在我眼前?
651
00:43:54,594 --> 00:43:57,225
因為你聰明了,所以能夠看見我
652
00:43:57,500 --> 00:43:58,559
以前你太笨
653
00:43:58,869 --> 00:44:00,429
一直沒有留意我的存在
654
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:02,001
原來如此
655
00:44:02,309 --> 00:44:03,334
那麼我明白了
656
00:44:03,679 --> 00:44:04,772
你明白便好了
657
00:44:05,015 --> 00:44:07,542
我現在正式自我介紹,我叫夢姬
658
00:44:07,987 --> 00:44:10,583
夢姬姑娘你好,我叫做朱爾旦
659
00:44:14,667 --> 00:44:17,138
我今次現身是想跟你打招呼而已
660
00:44:17,439 --> 00:44:18,702
陸判大爺要回來了
661
00:44:18,975 --> 00:44:20,501
我不便留在此處,先行告退
662
00:44:21,214 --> 00:44:22,239
那麼快便走
663
00:44:22,649 --> 00:44:24,983
有我在這裡你不用害怕我大哥
664
00:44:25,355 --> 00:44:26,448
他回來了
665
00:44:32,235 --> 00:44:34,137
怎麼會這麼快離開的?
666
00:44:39,415 --> 00:44:42,717
這大哥,這麼久還不回來?
667
00:44:43,523 --> 00:44:45,322
一看見美女連衣服也濕透
668
00:44:45,628 --> 00:44:47,028
還是先回家換件衣服
669
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,964
你做夢而已,有那麼怪誕嗎?
670
00:44:52,508 --> 00:44:54,774
鄭公子,你相信我吧
671
00:44:55,046 --> 00:44:56,640
我說謊的意圖是為什麼?
672
00:44:57,618 --> 00:44:58,881
有意圖的
673
00:44:59,154 --> 00:45:01,921
你躲懶沒有去調查,說謊來推卸
674
00:45:02,394 --> 00:45:04,762
不是,全都是真的
675
00:45:05,166 --> 00:45:08,730
鄭公子,我看他不像在說謊
676
00:45:09,041 --> 00:45:10,873
你又何以見得呢?
677
00:45:11,412 --> 00:45:12,437
你細想一下
678
00:45:12,614 --> 00:45:15,141
若要說謊也作一個令人信服的
679
00:45:15,420 --> 00:45:17,447
毋需說些神怪的東西
680
00:45:17,791 --> 00:45:19,693
他又不是三歲小孩子
681
00:45:21,230 --> 00:45:23,029
一點道理
682
00:45:23,568 --> 00:45:26,597
他們過來了,鄭公子
683
00:45:27,844 --> 00:45:29,871
你說蠢旦被鬼怪破肚皮
684
00:45:30,215 --> 00:45:31,240
胡說八道
685
00:45:31,551 --> 00:45:33,544
他現在不是活生生地走過來嗎?
686
00:45:43,508 --> 00:45:45,910
鄭公子,大清早便那麼齊人呢?
687
00:45:46,246 --> 00:45:48,443
讓我來介紹這是我新結識的朋友
688
00:45:48,752 --> 00:45:52,020
公子發,昨天領教過了
689
00:45:52,592 --> 00:45:54,927
昨天的事,見笑…
690
00:45:55,431 --> 00:45:58,198
阿旦,你今天精神精奕奕
691
00:45:58,504 --> 00:46:00,133
好像脫胎換骨了
692
00:46:00,474 --> 00:46:03,446
是真的可以將勤補拙嗎?
693
00:46:03,714 --> 00:46:06,777
好,今天的阿旦,能夠獨自應付
694
00:46:07,422 --> 00:46:09,152
好,今天誰輸了
695
00:46:09,492 --> 00:46:11,553
那個蠢字就屬於誰的
696
00:46:12,197 --> 00:46:14,258
既然蠢旦你今天想除掉那個蠢字
697
00:46:14,535 --> 00:46:16,198
那就要看一下你的實力了
698
00:46:16,472 --> 00:46:18,203
好,我今天與你單打獨鬥
699
00:46:18,476 --> 00:46:19,911
任何人也不能幫忙
700
00:46:20,213 --> 00:46:21,545
誰要幫忙便是輸家
701
00:46:21,850 --> 00:46:23,045
我先讓你出題目吧
702
00:46:23,453 --> 00:46:26,050
是你叫我先出題目,別後悔
703
00:46:26,425 --> 00:46:27,290
請吧
704
00:46:27,461 --> 00:46:28,292
聽著
705
00:46:28,596 --> 00:46:31,066
大哥叫大明,二哥叫小明
706
00:46:31,368 --> 00:46:32,666
錦鋰叫什麼?
707
00:46:33,673 --> 00:46:35,472
錦鋰是一尾魚
708
00:46:36,010 --> 00:46:37,342
我答對了嗎?
709
00:46:37,647 --> 00:46:39,617
若答對了,便輪到我出題目
710
00:46:40,052 --> 00:46:42,579
等一下,你僥倖答對而己
711
00:46:42,858 --> 00:46:44,486
我習慣玩三局兩勝制比賽
712
00:46:44,828 --> 00:46:46,262
我再來問你兩條題目
713
00:46:46,531 --> 00:46:47,794
隨便吧
714
00:46:49,470 --> 00:46:51,064
成功男人背後有一個女人
715
00:46:51,341 --> 00:46:53,106
那麼失敗的男人背後有什麼?
716
00:46:54,347 --> 00:46:55,747
這題目更簡單
717
00:46:55,983 --> 00:46:59,650
失敗的男人背後當然太多女人了
718
00:47:00,224 --> 00:47:02,251
答得好…
719
00:47:02,596 --> 00:47:03,586
我再來問你
720
00:47:03,865 --> 00:47:05,424
大便與人生有什麼關係?
721
00:47:07,105 --> 00:47:08,630
大便?
722
00:47:09,075 --> 00:47:11,808
大便與人生這問題你也能想出來
723
00:47:12,315 --> 00:47:14,114
好,聽著
724
00:47:14,452 --> 00:47:16,012
人生就好像大便般
725
00:47:16,290 --> 00:47:18,920
一旦沖走了便不能再回頭
726
00:47:19,229 --> 00:47:20,925
人生就好像大便般
727
00:47:21,233 --> 00:47:22,394
排泄時樣子一樣
728
00:47:22,702 --> 00:47:24,331
但排泄出來的糞便卻不一樣
729
00:47:24,673 --> 00:47:26,301
人生就好像大便般
730
00:47:26,610 --> 00:47:27,873
有時排泄時很暢快
731
00:47:28,146 --> 00:47:30,514
有時排泄時五官扭曲
732
00:47:30,785 --> 00:47:32,344
人生就好像大便般
733
00:47:32,622 --> 00:47:36,061
你永遠不知道糞便是怎樣的
734
00:47:36,797 --> 00:47:38,698
人生就好像大便般
735
00:47:39,034 --> 00:47:40,559
排泄時能否暢快
736
00:47:40,904 --> 00:47:42,635
就要視乎你吃了什麼?
737
00:47:42,908 --> 00:47:44,537
人生就好像大便般
738
00:47:44,812 --> 00:47:47,716
要獨自默默地去面對一切
739
00:47:48,018 --> 00:47:49,213
就好像我現在告訴你
740
00:47:49,555 --> 00:47:50,648
你去吃糞便吧
741
00:47:52,059 --> 00:47:53,961
其實我的意思是好意
742
00:47:54,230 --> 00:47:56,827
是想你自己認真地容入你自己
743
00:47:57,436 --> 00:47:58,461
說完了
744
00:47:59,875 --> 00:48:02,607
好,三題已經完了
745
00:48:02,948 --> 00:48:04,473
現在輪到我發問了
746
00:48:05,219 --> 00:48:07,246
聽著,問題很簡單而已
747
00:48:07,590 --> 00:48:11,223
有一位婦人告訴朋友
748
00:48:11,731 --> 00:48:15,135
我丈夫死了,什麼也沒遺留給我
749
00:48:15,472 --> 00:48:17,499
只遺下三千萬
750
00:48:17,777 --> 00:48:22,150
那女人聽了既疑惑又羨慕回問
751
00:48:23,020 --> 00:48:26,390
那你夠用嗎?這也不夠用嗎?
752
00:48:26,895 --> 00:48:32,497
那婦人聽後馬上哭起來
753
00:48:33,140 --> 00:48:34,574
我現在問題是問
754
00:48:34,876 --> 00:48:36,140
這三千萬是什麼?
755
00:48:38,016 --> 00:48:38,949
陰司紙?
756
00:48:42,392 --> 00:48:43,417
三千萬精蟲?
757
00:48:47,936 --> 00:48:49,268
三千萬螞蟻?
758
00:48:50,842 --> 00:48:53,677
錯,錯得太離譜了
759
00:48:53,948 --> 00:48:56,384
聽著,答案是如此
760
00:48:56,886 --> 00:48:59,551
一,千萬要照顧孩子
761
00:48:59,892 --> 00:49:02,159
二,千萬要孝順我父母
762
00:49:02,431 --> 00:49:05,335
三,千萬別改嫁
763
00:49:07,106 --> 00:49:10,671
我想第二,三題我也不用發問了
764
00:49:10,981 --> 00:49:13,646
因為你問的三題我已經答對了
765
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:15,913
你連我第一題也不能答對
766
00:49:16,358 --> 00:49:19,091
不論怎樣算,你也是輸掉給我
767
00:49:19,497 --> 00:49:21,729
若要我強行再發問下去
768
00:49:22,069 --> 00:49:24,130
只會令你丟臉,是嗎?
769
00:49:24,474 --> 00:49:25,840
蠢公子
770
00:49:26,111 --> 00:49:28,104
好,你跟我作對
771
00:49:28,382 --> 00:49:30,352
就一拍兩散,把你的醜態說出來
772
00:49:31,521 --> 00:49:34,652
你前晚與詩詩玩成人遊戲
773
00:49:35,094 --> 00:49:39,364
還沒成事便興奮過度暈倒了
774
00:49:39,938 --> 00:49:42,204
還被詩詩用繩綁起來
775
00:49:42,475 --> 00:49:46,609
是嗎?有這回事嗎?
776
00:49:47,185 --> 00:49:48,984
我不承認便行了
777
00:50:14,238 --> 00:50:16,765
九幽聖母,久違了
778
00:50:17,711 --> 00:50:18,701
陸判
779
00:50:19,014 --> 00:50:20,608
你還記得我嗎?
780
00:50:21,185 --> 00:50:23,086
我怎會忘記你
781
00:50:23,390 --> 00:50:25,188
我們談戀愛七十多年
782
00:50:25,460 --> 00:50:29,992
造愛有三萬七千八百九十一次半
783
00:50:30,269 --> 00:50:31,498
我怎會忘記呢?
784
00:50:31,806 --> 00:50:34,744
虧你說,最後那半次你還記得嗎
785
00:50:35,012 --> 00:50:37,778
記得,那次與你造愛
786
00:50:38,052 --> 00:50:40,454
閻君急召我馬上回去
787
00:50:40,690 --> 00:50:42,819
你應知道,現在經濟不境
788
00:50:43,095 --> 00:50:46,123
很艱難找工作的,我為有聽命
789
00:50:46,401 --> 00:50:50,204
還說,因你這半次令到我心癢癢
790
00:50:50,476 --> 00:50:51,967
若不是這事我也不用跟你說分手
791
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,176
這是你的問題
792
00:50:54,551 --> 00:50:56,042
我只說了三個字
793
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:57,755
就是這三個字
794
00:50:58,057 --> 00:51:00,927
不是嘛,我只說了隨你
795
00:51:01,230 --> 00:51:04,691
隨你,意思是隨便你
796
00:51:05,038 --> 00:51:06,028
這你也激怒
797
00:51:06,107 --> 00:51:10,012
當然,若當時哄我那便沒事了
798
00:51:10,315 --> 00:51:13,287
對不起,我一向不懂哄人的
799
00:51:13,621 --> 00:51:16,114
算吧,整件事算我錯好嗎?
800
00:51:16,827 --> 00:51:19,297
這句說得對,肯定是你錯
801
00:51:19,833 --> 00:51:21,826
你知道嗎?那次後
802
00:51:22,104 --> 00:51:24,131
三十多年來我一直沒有碰過男人
803
00:51:24,609 --> 00:51:25,737
什麼?
804
00:51:26,079 --> 00:51:26,978
真的?
805
00:51:27,381 --> 00:51:28,850
是的,來吧
806
00:51:29,118 --> 00:51:31,213
擁抱我吧,我雖要
807
00:51:32,391 --> 00:51:34,691
這種事情我也很久沒干了
808
00:51:34,929 --> 00:51:36,056
好吧,願諒你
809
00:51:36,266 --> 00:51:37,894
來吧
810
00:57:14,127 --> 00:57:16,394
陸大哥這麼晚還沒回來
811
00:57:16,666 --> 00:57:18,191
會發生意外嗎?
812
00:57:18,503 --> 00:57:20,598
平時我看兩本書他便回來了
813
00:57:20,907 --> 00:57:22,877
現在看完全部的書還沒回來?
814
00:57:26,017 --> 00:57:27,850
不會有意外的,他那麼聰明
815
00:57:33,232 --> 00:57:35,225
可惜古時沒有電話
816
00:57:35,569 --> 00:57:38,769
若有便可致電給阿敏聊天
817
00:57:54,807 --> 00:57:56,743
別管了,還是去睡覺
818
00:57:57,045 --> 00:57:58,445
早睡早起
819
01:01:02,875 --> 01:01:05,369
大哥,為什麼你會在這裡?
820
01:01:07,585 --> 01:01:08,985
我為什麼會在這裡?
821
01:01:09,889 --> 01:01:13,157
慢著…讓我想清楚吧
822
01:01:14,565 --> 01:01:16,228
你昨晚是否去了鬼混?
823
01:01:17,003 --> 01:01:18,130
是
824
01:01:18,874 --> 01:01:20,502
你是在這裡鬼混嗎?
825
01:01:21,011 --> 01:01:22,206
不是
826
01:01:24,184 --> 01:01:26,484
究竟你跟誰鬼混?
827
01:01:27,056 --> 01:01:29,459
你不用說了,我明白你想什麼?
828
01:01:29,728 --> 01:01:33,292
我告訴你,我昨晚的對象不是你
829
01:01:34,871 --> 01:01:36,305
那我便安心點
830
01:01:36,842 --> 01:01:38,744
差點被你嚇死了
831
01:01:47,896 --> 01:01:48,955
什麼?
832
01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:51,534
你為什麼會黑眼圈?
833
01:01:52,706 --> 01:01:55,542
你也有黑眼圈
834
01:01:56,848 --> 01:01:58,282
我也有黑眼圈嗎?
835
01:01:58,985 --> 01:02:01,217
糟糕,今次真的糟糕
836
01:02:01,858 --> 01:02:03,349
發生什麼事?
837
01:02:06,768 --> 01:02:09,261
一定是九幽聖母偷了生死冊
838
01:02:09,572 --> 01:02:10,767
胡亂地更改名冊
839
01:02:11,643 --> 01:02:13,237
生死冊而已
840
01:02:13,547 --> 01:02:16,644
你是判官,把它更正便行
841
01:02:16,987 --> 01:02:19,788
談何用易,我要前往九幽地府
842
01:02:20,126 --> 01:02:23,292
取那支判官筆,來回要整天時間
843
01:02:23,734 --> 01:02:24,793
整天?
844
01:02:25,070 --> 01:02:27,370
整天而已,你便去走一趟吧
845
01:02:27,875 --> 01:02:29,434
你不知情當然不會緊張
846
01:02:29,746 --> 01:02:30,771
你知道嗎?
847
01:02:30,848 --> 01:02:32,841
九幽聖母把你死期推至今夜
848
01:02:33,186 --> 01:02:34,883
牛頭馬面今夜便會來捉你
849
01:02:35,190 --> 01:02:37,023
那你覺得整天重要嗎?
850
01:02:37,294 --> 01:02:38,284
重要嗎?
851
01:02:38,596 --> 01:02:39,791
大哥你是說笑嗎?
852
01:02:40,066 --> 01:02:41,125
說真的
853
01:02:41,402 --> 01:02:42,927
若是真的你便要救我了
854
01:02:44,141 --> 01:02:46,338
做你大哥,當然要救你
855
01:02:46,645 --> 01:02:48,512
我說過有難同當的 當然…
856
01:02:49,885 --> 01:02:51,080
當然
857
01:02:51,354 --> 01:02:53,757
無論如何我也要往地府走一趟
858
01:02:54,193 --> 01:02:55,662
那你便走一趟吧
859
01:02:55,964 --> 01:02:57,057
我知道
860
01:02:57,299 --> 01:02:59,633
但牛頭馬面來捉你怎麼辦呢?
861
01:03:00,539 --> 01:03:03,272
我沒有辦法阻止牛頭馬面的
862
01:03:03,545 --> 01:03:05,982
但是我可以令牛頭馬面看不見你
863
01:03:06,618 --> 01:03:07,586
真的嗎?
864
01:03:08,121 --> 01:03:09,282
是,今晚子夜時分
865
01:03:09,624 --> 01:03:13,359
你用墨汁塗滿臉及耳朵知道嗎?
866
01:03:14,065 --> 01:03:15,500
這樣便看不見你
867
01:03:17,540 --> 01:03:22,504
記緊,你千萬別碰其他人
868
01:03:22,850 --> 01:03:24,877
被你碰過的人也會有麻煩
869
01:03:25,923 --> 01:03:28,758
放心吧,怎會有人來找我
870
01:03:29,162 --> 01:03:31,962
總之你別胡思亂想,我走了
871
01:03:35,174 --> 01:03:37,701
怎會有人來找我,我不好色的
872
01:03:39,916 --> 01:03:41,749
鄭公子… 什麼事?
873
01:03:42,054 --> 01:03:43,921
糟了,小姐失蹤了
874
01:03:44,158 --> 01:03:46,321
怎麼攪的?你怎麼看管她的
875
01:03:46,563 --> 01:03:49,033
我猜她走得不遠,可能追到她的
876
01:03:49,301 --> 01:03:50,827
阿乙呢? 阿乙?
877
01:03:51,138 --> 01:03:52,606
阿乙已經去了追她
878
01:03:53,911 --> 01:03:55,436
你還不快追 是,公子
879
01:03:56,916 --> 01:03:58,943
為何在這兒?不是找尋小姐嗎?
880
01:03:59,255 --> 01:04:00,780
我尋遍了也不見她蹤影
881
01:04:01,057 --> 01:04:03,426
豈有此理,走得如此快的?
882
01:04:03,730 --> 01:04:05,393
她會去了蠢旦那兒嗎?
883
01:04:05,634 --> 01:04:07,193
最好就走到蠢旦家中
884
01:04:07,504 --> 01:04:09,997
我便可報官告他拐騙良家婦女
885
01:04:10,442 --> 01:04:13,346
好,就去蠢旦家附近等那衰女
886
01:04:13,549 --> 01:04:14,745
走
887
01:04:23,168 --> 01:04:26,334
糟了,還想到阿旦家中暫時躲避
888
01:04:26,908 --> 01:04:28,969
我想現在不行了
889
01:04:30,081 --> 01:04:32,678
看來,我這兩天要暫時躲藏起來
890
01:04:32,954 --> 01:04:35,015
若不是必定連累他
891
01:04:52,626 --> 01:04:55,598
衰女,等到她便有她的好受
892
01:04:56,132 --> 01:04:57,191
快蹲下
893
01:04:59,071 --> 01:05:01,439
糟糕,拉肚子
894
01:05:02,712 --> 01:05:04,476
陪我到那兒方便一下
895
01:05:04,716 --> 01:05:07,084
不行,我走了誰來盯著敏姑娘
896
01:05:07,388 --> 01:05:08,413
不如你自己去吧
897
01:05:08,924 --> 01:05:11,417
要來的早便來的,遲不來早不來
898
01:05:11,663 --> 01:05:13,292
走吧,陪我去吧
899
01:05:13,566 --> 01:05:15,365
這樣吧…你陪鄭公子去
900
01:05:15,637 --> 01:05:17,732
我在這兒盯著,放心,我會盯著
901
01:05:17,975 --> 01:05:19,672
去吧… 隨便…
902
01:05:19,912 --> 01:05:22,281
去吧,鄭公子小心點
903
01:05:22,785 --> 01:05:24,151
小心點,鄭公子
904
01:05:27,060 --> 01:05:29,759
我就在這兒放便,你替我守著
905
01:05:29,999 --> 01:05:31,331
好,沒問題,我替你守著
906
01:05:31,601 --> 01:05:32,763
記緊守著 不會有人來的
907
01:05:33,038 --> 01:05:34,974
別偷窺 好,沒問題
908
01:05:57,385 --> 01:05:58,410
真舒暢
909
01:05:59,858 --> 01:06:01,851
草紙
910
01:06:03,131 --> 01:06:07,037
渾小子,你去了哪兒?
911
01:06:07,806 --> 01:06:10,471
豈有此理,走了
912
01:06:13,284 --> 01:06:15,652
不是要用這些嗎?
913
01:06:20,464 --> 01:06:21,489
回來了嗎?
914
01:06:28,046 --> 01:06:30,915
塗得多平均,比我大哥還黑
915
01:06:34,859 --> 01:06:37,125
牛頭馬面不來更好
916
01:06:38,098 --> 01:06:39,328
看一下
917
01:06:44,946 --> 01:06:48,146
真的是阿甲和阿乙
918
01:06:50,791 --> 01:06:52,886
走來幹什麼?
919
01:06:54,431 --> 01:06:58,565
不是,他們臉上塗了東西的?
920
01:07:01,077 --> 01:07:03,070
還在彷彷彿佛
921
01:07:05,686 --> 01:07:06,881
不是了
922
01:07:07,490 --> 01:07:09,790
牛頭馬面會附在他們身上嗎?
923
01:07:10,095 --> 01:07:11,256
那麼邪門
924
01:07:14,570 --> 01:07:17,201
真的來捉我,這裡沒有地方躲藏
925
01:07:17,977 --> 01:07:20,174
還是走逃比較上算
926
01:07:28,998 --> 01:07:30,592
夢姬,遇到你太好了
927
01:07:30,869 --> 01:07:31,928
快點救我吧
928
01:07:32,071 --> 01:07:34,508
對不起,我身份低微,道行又差
929
01:07:34,777 --> 01:07:36,405
我根本敵不過牛頭馬面
930
01:07:37,114 --> 01:07:39,209
怎麼辦?我必死無疑
931
01:07:39,485 --> 01:07:41,888
放心吧,你福大命大必定沒事的
932
01:07:42,458 --> 01:07:44,724
你朝著這方向走還有一線生機
933
01:07:45,164 --> 01:07:46,929
我明白了,那麼你呢?
934
01:07:47,168 --> 01:07:49,297
你不用擔心我,我會沒事,走吧
935
01:07:49,572 --> 01:07:51,201
你走吧 那麼你自己保重
936
01:07:56,386 --> 01:07:59,186
夢姬?朱爾旦在哪兒?
937
01:07:59,459 --> 01:08:00,323
我不知道
938
01:08:00,627 --> 01:08:01,890
你不知道?
939
01:08:02,130 --> 01:08:05,296
但我嗅到你身上有朱爾旦的氣味
940
01:08:07,007 --> 01:08:09,136
臭婆娘,你敢愚弄我?
941
01:08:11,181 --> 01:08:12,444
渾身不自然
942
01:08:12,717 --> 01:08:14,311
還是換回剛才那套衣服比較好運
943
01:08:32,489 --> 01:08:35,951
判官何時才取到判官筆來救我
944
01:08:39,937 --> 01:08:41,930
去前面看一下他還在嗎?
945
01:08:46,250 --> 01:08:48,652
糟糕,被騙了
946
01:08:48,888 --> 01:08:50,551
又中了性妹的魔法
947
01:08:50,859 --> 01:08:52,157
糟糕,不行
948
01:08:52,428 --> 01:08:54,865
趕快到地府取判官筆回來救阿旦
949
01:10:00,395 --> 01:10:02,331
熱得要命
950
01:10:12,820 --> 01:10:13,913
這是什麼?
951
01:10:37,802 --> 01:10:39,829
你幹什麼?你的臉兒弄成如此
952
01:10:40,941 --> 01:10:43,741
沒什麼?阿乙不是跟著你的嗎?
953
01:10:44,081 --> 01:10:46,574
我是聰明人,他怎能追得上我
954
01:10:47,554 --> 01:10:49,319
別說了,我們逃跑吧
955
01:10:49,558 --> 01:10:51,187
離開此地再談 好…
956
01:10:56,305 --> 01:10:57,830
走快一點,回去才說吧
957
01:10:58,141 --> 01:10:59,109
不拖著你的手不行
958
01:11:00,079 --> 01:11:01,206
能逃到那裡去?
959
01:11:01,414 --> 01:11:03,316
逃得出和尚並不能逃出廟
960
01:11:03,586 --> 01:11:05,886
你一個人跟我回地府
961
01:11:06,124 --> 01:11:07,092
我一個人?
962
01:11:07,159 --> 01:11:08,457
鄭公子被我碰過沒事嗎?
963
01:11:13,038 --> 01:11:14,438
你不是鄭公子嗎?
964
01:11:15,976 --> 01:11:17,639
我的手快折斷了…
965
01:11:18,013 --> 01:11:20,280
牛兄弟,手下留人…
966
01:11:23,959 --> 01:11:25,690
牛兄弟,請留手
967
01:11:25,963 --> 01:11:27,431
陸判? 是
968
01:11:27,700 --> 01:11:30,364
閻王要人三更死不能留人到五更
969
01:11:30,672 --> 01:11:32,038
你陸判也不例外
970
01:11:32,509 --> 01:11:33,739
沒錯
971
01:11:33,812 --> 01:11:36,180
我陸判絕對不能改變閻王的意旨
972
01:11:36,583 --> 01:11:38,986
但閻王曾頒下一道意旨
973
01:11:39,189 --> 01:11:42,127
說我陸判絕對有權力改變生死冊
974
01:11:43,597 --> 01:11:45,226
為什麼閻王會信任我
975
01:11:45,501 --> 01:11:47,630
因為我言而有信
976
01:11:48,106 --> 01:11:50,669
我的金字招牌就是保證
977
01:11:50,912 --> 01:11:52,244
陸判宣旨
978
01:11:52,549 --> 01:11:54,712
朱爾旦時辰未到,不用死
979
01:11:55,086 --> 01:11:56,213
請過目
980
01:11:59,595 --> 01:12:02,192
既然如此,我們並不會亂拉人的
981
01:12:04,638 --> 01:12:05,970
多謝牛兄,馬兄
982
01:12:06,943 --> 01:12:08,708
他日定當拜候府上
983
01:12:08,980 --> 01:12:11,177
到那時暢飲三百大杯 好…
984
01:12:11,719 --> 01:12:12,982
好的
985
01:12:15,494 --> 01:12:16,826
弟弟
986
01:12:17,096 --> 01:12:18,155
大哥,幸虧你及時趕到
987
01:12:18,533 --> 01:12:19,626
否則便不能再見了
988
01:12:19,935 --> 01:12:21,837
傻的,我是判官
989
01:12:22,139 --> 01:12:25,840
你是人或鬼,我一樣能看見你
990
01:12:27,517 --> 01:12:28,644
走吧
991
01:12:33,262 --> 01:12:35,164
如來整件事情是如此的
992
01:12:35,833 --> 01:12:39,603
所以說,女人真的麻煩
993
01:12:40,208 --> 01:12:42,144
弟弟,真不好意思
994
01:12:42,413 --> 01:12:43,540
差點兒連累了你
995
01:12:43,815 --> 01:12:45,648
傻的,你的事等於我的事
996
01:12:45,953 --> 01:12:47,012
我怎會責怪你呢?
997
01:12:49,593 --> 01:12:52,030
看見你這個樣子我也難過
998
01:12:52,499 --> 01:12:55,471
不如這樣,我與你一起去找聖母
999
01:12:55,705 --> 01:12:57,800
或者向她解釋後便會冰釋事情
1000
01:12:58,444 --> 01:13:00,607
對,你現在聰明了
1001
01:13:01,049 --> 01:13:03,577
或者能幫到我
1002
01:13:04,155 --> 01:13:06,922
放心,儘管在我身上,走吧
1003
01:13:14,041 --> 01:13:16,034
這位就是聖母嗎?
1004
01:13:16,312 --> 01:13:17,302
是
1005
01:13:17,615 --> 01:13:19,585
我好像在夢中見過她
1006
01:13:20,253 --> 01:13:24,216
你蠻本事,能趕及取判管筆救人
1007
01:13:25,497 --> 01:13:27,990
九幽聖母你好,在下朱爾旦
1008
01:13:28,370 --> 01:13:29,360
我知道
1009
01:13:33,546 --> 01:13:37,714
在下敢問聖母屬於何種生肖
1010
01:13:38,255 --> 01:13:41,386
你古古怪怪的,問這幹什麼?
1011
01:13:41,829 --> 01:13:43,559
我是生肖屬鼠
1012
01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:50,240
屬鼠的人絕對是機會主義者
1013
01:13:51,114 --> 01:13:54,553
尤其是內心感情特別豐富
1014
01:13:56,324 --> 01:14:00,662
對愛人特別人慈的
1015
01:14:01,467 --> 01:14:04,098
就算她與愛人有何爭執
1016
01:14:04,506 --> 01:14:06,807
總不會斤斤計較
1017
01:14:07,079 --> 01:14:08,047
對的
1018
01:14:09,450 --> 01:14:12,981
你那寬宏人慈的性格
1019
01:14:13,291 --> 01:14:16,661
能令到與你一起的異性
1020
01:14:16,964 --> 01:14:18,831
會十分喜歡你
1021
01:14:19,336 --> 01:14:20,565
不錯
1022
01:14:21,540 --> 01:14:24,603
當你談戀愛時是非常認真的嗎?
1023
01:14:24,913 --> 01:14:26,576
是的,我真的很認真
1024
01:14:27,619 --> 01:14:28,985
但可惜
1025
01:14:29,455 --> 01:14:32,018
因為你總希望別人能報答你
1026
01:14:32,361 --> 01:14:36,996
所以你對愛情特別的執著
1027
01:14:37,671 --> 01:14:40,404
往往會弄巧反拙
1028
01:14:40,711 --> 01:14:43,079
到頭來便空空如也
1029
01:14:43,283 --> 01:14:45,149
這…這怎麼辦?
1030
01:14:46,523 --> 01:14:48,356
別著急,等一下
1031
01:14:49,462 --> 01:14:52,228
請問大哥屬於何種生肖
1032
01:14:52,467 --> 01:14:54,369
我…我屬牛的
1033
01:14:54,672 --> 01:14:55,662
怎麼樣?
1034
01:14:55,941 --> 01:14:57,102
難怪
1035
01:14:57,912 --> 01:15:00,975
屬牛的人有強大的包容量
1036
01:15:01,986 --> 01:15:05,152
他既要照顧家庭又要重視事業
1037
01:15:05,526 --> 01:15:09,330
所以兩者之間難免會有點糊塗
1038
01:15:10,169 --> 01:15:12,765
但是男兒志在四方
1039
01:15:13,041 --> 01:15:17,209
事業固然動要但家庭亦不可缺少
1040
01:15:17,750 --> 01:15:20,620
而屬鼠的你小心謹慎
1041
01:15:20,890 --> 01:15:22,620
兩者相輔相承
1042
01:15:22,927 --> 01:15:25,227
若能成為終身伴侶
1043
01:15:25,498 --> 01:15:27,730
簡直是天造地設的一對
1044
01:15:31,377 --> 01:15:32,640
性妹
1045
01:15:32,946 --> 01:15:34,142
什麼事? 我…
1046
01:15:34,450 --> 01:15:36,420
我知道錯了,你願諒我吧
1047
01:15:36,754 --> 01:15:38,724
其實我也有不對
1048
01:15:46,539 --> 01:15:47,598
你看
1049
01:15:47,876 --> 01:15:51,941
阿旦被你改造後真的聰明了
1050
01:15:52,351 --> 01:15:54,821
但是,我聽詩詩回報
1051
01:15:55,124 --> 01:15:59,121
告訴我,他對性方面是一名白癡
1052
01:16:00,099 --> 01:16:02,730
不如這樣,將你的陸判性經
1053
01:16:03,039 --> 01:16:04,770
傳授給他吧
1054
01:16:05,043 --> 01:16:07,776
什麼?要把我的絕學陸判性經
1055
01:16:08,115 --> 01:16:09,812
傳授給我弟弟?
1056
01:16:10,219 --> 01:16:12,952
沒所謂,難道你留待自己用嗎?
1057
01:16:13,259 --> 01:16:15,422
你忘記了他曾幫助過我們嗎?
1058
01:16:15,697 --> 01:16:20,401
我記得,但是性經只是一種理論
1059
01:16:20,740 --> 01:16:21,833
要實踐才行
1060
01:16:22,177 --> 01:16:23,338
普通凡間女子
1061
01:16:23,646 --> 01:16:26,550
怎能與阿旦一起修練神功
1062
01:16:28,154 --> 01:16:32,619
不是嘛,不是你想幫他修練神功
1063
01:16:32,931 --> 01:16:34,160
整頂綠頭巾送給我帶嗎?
1064
01:16:34,468 --> 01:16:36,266
傻的,我們是鬼神
1065
01:16:36,572 --> 01:16:38,268
怎麼與凡人一般見識的
1066
01:16:38,608 --> 01:16:41,239
那當然,我們鬼神之間最重要是
1067
01:16:41,581 --> 01:16:44,576
精神的溝通,肉體得不常的
1068
01:16:45,022 --> 01:16:46,149
那當然了
1069
01:16:46,457 --> 01:16:47,584
不如這樣
1070
01:16:47,826 --> 01:16:51,766
今晚我們找詩詩一起與他雙修
1071
01:16:52,236 --> 01:16:56,404
若是成功,你做大哥的都有面子
1072
01:16:57,011 --> 01:16:58,446
好
1073
01:16:58,848 --> 01:17:02,652
今晚我傾盡所能傳授錦囊給他
1074
01:17:03,490 --> 01:17:05,825
阿旦,不用再練習了
1075
01:17:06,129 --> 01:17:07,792
今晚有更艱苦的你修練
1076
01:19:42,168 --> 01:19:43,636
阿旦這個臭小子
1077
01:19:43,939 --> 01:19:47,639
只學識幾招已經發揮得淋漓盡致
1078
01:19:48,414 --> 01:19:50,543
我做大哥的都感到光采
1079
01:19:51,920 --> 01:19:54,391
糟了,有點慾火冒升
1080
01:19:56,563 --> 01:19:59,501
更換人,我也不吃虧
1081
01:19:59,736 --> 01:20:00,327
別走
1082
01:22:44,192 --> 01:22:45,660
鄭公子
1083
01:22:46,730 --> 01:22:49,030
別走,害怕我什麼?
1084
01:22:49,335 --> 01:22:50,496
各人都如此害怕我的?
1085
01:22:51,139 --> 01:22:53,905
以前我開罪你,現向你道歉行嗎
1086
01:22:54,278 --> 01:22:57,010
沒有,你沒有,是我開罪了你
1087
01:22:57,485 --> 01:23:00,081
你寬宏大量,饒恕我吧
1088
01:23:00,591 --> 01:23:01,650
幹什麼?
1089
01:23:01,926 --> 01:23:04,955
我不是妖怪,我是人
1090
01:23:05,366 --> 01:23:06,801
我知道…
1091
01:23:07,103 --> 01:23:08,230
你法力無邊
1092
01:23:08,539 --> 01:23:09,802
你能隨時變成人形
1093
01:23:10,810 --> 01:23:12,370
你放過我吧…
1094
01:23:12,714 --> 01:23:13,682
怎說也不明白
1095
01:23:14,151 --> 01:23:15,847
是了,阿敏去了哪兒?
1096
01:23:16,155 --> 01:23:18,887
阿敏?她不會見你的
1097
01:23:19,160 --> 01:23:20,527
你是鬼神,她是凡人
1098
01:23:20,797 --> 01:23:22,391
你放過她吧
1099
01:23:22,867 --> 01:23:25,303
誰告訴你我是鬼怪?
1100
01:23:25,606 --> 01:23:27,268
你是陸判的弟弟嘛
1101
01:23:27,944 --> 01:23:30,939
你誤會了,我是他的結拜義弟
1102
01:23:31,284 --> 01:23:32,547
不是親兄弟
1103
01:23:33,354 --> 01:23:35,688
那麼說你不是鬼怪了
1104
01:23:36,027 --> 01:23:37,086
我當然是人
1105
01:23:37,362 --> 01:23:38,352
有什麼憑證?
1106
01:23:38,631 --> 01:23:40,328
你想怎樣證實給你看
1107
01:23:42,004 --> 01:23:44,031
是被我打也不還手呢?
1108
01:23:44,343 --> 01:23:45,504
打我?
1109
01:23:48,751 --> 01:23:51,484
阿敏,你認為我是妖怪
1110
01:23:51,824 --> 01:23:53,315
我在這證明給你看
1111
01:23:53,661 --> 01:23:55,425
我不是妖怪我是人
1112
01:23:56,266 --> 01:23:59,363
來吧,打我吧,打死我也可以
1113
01:23:59,672 --> 01:24:01,198
我絕對不會還手也不會怪責你
1114
01:24:01,676 --> 01:24:02,644
來吧
1115
01:24:03,113 --> 01:24:03,909
我來了
1116
01:24:09,993 --> 01:24:11,929
哥哥,別打了
1117
01:24:12,230 --> 01:24:13,529
會打死他的
1118
01:24:14,101 --> 01:24:16,196
別煩我,不打他會不高興的
1119
01:24:16,606 --> 01:24:19,202
哥哥,救救你別打了
1120
01:24:22,550 --> 01:24:23,540
住手
1121
01:24:25,757 --> 01:24:26,725
還不住手
1122
01:24:28,496 --> 01:24:29,589
不許動
1123
01:24:30,800 --> 01:24:33,328
起身吧,沒事吧
1124
01:24:35,209 --> 01:24:37,110
阿敏,真的是你?
1125
01:24:37,580 --> 01:24:38,843
你沒事嗎?
1126
01:24:41,622 --> 01:24:44,457
我怎也不會給你離開
1127
01:24:45,362 --> 01:24:46,729
你嫁給我吧
1128
01:24:47,333 --> 01:24:48,562
嫁給我
1129
01:24:50,639 --> 01:24:51,732
太好了
1130
01:25:39,668 --> 01:25:41,331
夢姬?是你
1131
01:25:41,639 --> 01:25:42,629
來,坐吧
1132
01:25:43,843 --> 01:25:45,403
見到你太好了
1133
01:25:45,680 --> 01:25:48,413
自從上次之後我一直很擔心你
1134
01:25:48,686 --> 01:25:50,519
今次見回你我可放心
1135
01:25:50,824 --> 01:25:51,849
我是你的守護神
1136
01:25:52,126 --> 01:25:53,720
你沒事我當然也沒事
1137
01:25:53,996 --> 01:25:56,627
而且你跟敏姑娘成親了,多好的
1138
01:25:57,203 --> 01:25:58,467
真的很好
1139
01:26:00,209 --> 01:26:01,803
點解你自從上次出現後
1140
01:26:02,113 --> 01:26:04,015
一直沒有再出現了?
1141
01:26:06,287 --> 01:26:08,450
本來我沒有機會再見到你
1142
01:26:08,758 --> 01:26:10,660
幸虧陸判大爺把我救回
1143
01:26:10,896 --> 01:26:12,365
我才回復自由身
1144
01:26:13,068 --> 01:26:15,334
原來那次你被牛頭馬面捉了
1145
01:26:15,873 --> 01:26:17,308
真難為了你
1146
01:26:18,177 --> 01:26:19,578
不會,怎會呢?
1147
01:26:20,716 --> 01:26:22,583
既然這樣,我帶你見阿敏
1148
01:26:23,254 --> 01:26:25,885
不可以,只有你才能看見我
1149
01:26:26,160 --> 01:26:27,492
你妻看不見的
1150
01:26:28,230 --> 01:26:29,665
原來如此
1151
01:26:30,601 --> 01:26:32,834
我要走了
1152
01:26:33,140 --> 01:26:34,768
我祝福你百子千孫
1153
01:26:35,077 --> 01:26:36,136
永遠夫妻恩愛
1154
01:26:36,413 --> 01:26:37,039
多謝
1155
01:26:37,248 --> 01:26:38,011
再見
1156
01:26:38,284 --> 01:26:39,411
再見
1157
01:26:44,635 --> 01:26:54,768
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い瓣捌夹肈度パ暗: 猭孽┘眔ネ
谅谅芠
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