All language subtitles for 800.Words.S03E15.Episode.15.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-KiNGS-eng

-Hey!
-Hey, Dad.

I was beginning to forget
what you looked like.

Haven't seen you in days.

Been busy.

I've missed you raiding
our cupboards.

Can't be a bludger
all your life.

-Yep.

Hey, why don't you come to tea?

Katie's trying a new recipe.
Indian.

Billy's making naan.

Oh, I'll think about it.

What's to think about?
You love butter chicken.

See ya, Dad.

Yeah.
See ya.

GEORGE: The umbilical cord --
giver of life.

But when you examine them
closely,

they're actually pretty gross.

A kind of whitish gray,
gristly,

and they're very hard to cut.

I haven't checked
with Auntie Google,

but I like to think the phrase
"family ties"

stems from the umbilical cord,

which when it is tied off,
becomes a belly button.

Greetings, Shay.

Dad's renovating
the real estate office.

Modernizing.
Decor fit for a new republic.

So the whole place
is being gutted

and I'm working from home.

What do you think of that?

"Replete with en suite."
No. It's lame.

Well, someone liked it,
'cause I just sold it, so there.

So, this is going to be
your new office for how long?

It's all right, Shay.
I'm not staying.

Busy out in the field.

Annual rush of spring sales.

"Spring into a new home."

-Write that down.
-No.

Monty McNamara, McNam-- Mc--

Monty McNamara speaking.

I can't go on like this, Shay.

What rhymes with "septic tank"?

"Laughing all the way
to the bank"?

You've got the knack.
Do you want my job?

Thanks, but no.

Hey, I, uh,
I just bumped into Shay.

Oh.
How is she?

Well, to be honest,
she's a little...

I don't know.
Have you noticed anything?

-Um...
-You don't think it's about Joe

and the whole
parole

-George, the -- the thing is...
-It's a media launch, George.

It would help if the media
is actually there.

Yeah.
Coming.

I'm sure it'll work out.

All right.
Stand on this mark here.

No. Face -- Face the camera.

Of course.

I'm gonna ask you a question,
and if you could answer it.

Okay.

Quiet, everyone, please.

We're about to start.

-And action.
-Okay, Sean.

What will be the first thing
you do

if elected president
of the Republic of Weld?

-Well -- Oh, sorry.

Oh, we're gonna be here all day.

This had better be important,
Brenda.

You've interrupted
my big moment.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

-Ah. Goodbye, then.

Okay.
Let's go.

Ike, camera at the ready.

IKE:
And ready.

Sean, is

-She's in labor.

She told me to get my arse there
ASAP.

-Then get there!
-Don't just stand there!

Then -- Then go.

Oh.

Tell Arlo he's no longer
second in command

and that the alpaca eats
at dusk.

-He'll know what to do.
-I'll pass it on.

Oh, Sean.

Tell Shay that she's no longer
second in command

and the vegetable bins
need cleaning out.

-They're really smelly.
-Go well. Our love to Brenda.

Hey, uh, cigars on me
when you get back.

Come on.
I'll escort you.

Good opportunity
to use the siren.

Oh, I'm so excited.

Mail for you, Poppy.

It's from Mum.

Oh, it's not your birthday,
right?

Tell me we haven't missed
your birthday.

TRACEY:
Oh, wow!

Is that a ball gown?

It was hers.
She wore it to her senior dance.

Give us a look at that thing.

I'm guessing she went to her
senior dance with you, Woody.

I-I actually remember
this dress.

I just -- I forgot we went
to the dance together.

How can you forget
your school dance?

Babe, you're talking
to the bloke

who forgot
he was already married.

-This is true.
-Yes.

She says I don't have to
wear it,

"but with a bit of work it could
be brought out of the '90s

and into the 21st century."

What do you reckon?

Mm. I reckon I could
sort something from this.

I think you're gonna have to.

She's expecting
loads of pictures.

See? I'm not the only one
that's excited about this ball.

Oh, this is gonna be gorgeous.

You should bring it
to the working bee.

You can use the school's
sewing equipment.

Now all I need
is someone to go with.

Oh, no. You can go
with a group of friends.

-Heaps of kids are doing that.
-Yeah, yeah.

That -- That sounds like fun.

Yeah. Cool.

Yeah. Here.

You want a look
after I've edited?

No. I trust you.
Just put them online.

Okay.

So, this Weld anthem
you're going to introduce.

Any ideas?

Maybe something
by Crowded House.

-That famous Australian band.
-Here we go.

Next you'll be claiming
the pavlova.

You know,
I like the idea of a town

with its own national anthem.

Maybe I should see
what's on the market.

FIONA:
You want to buy here?

Oh, if there was a nice
family home available.

A family home.
You'd rattle 'round.

Well, I might have to get
a flatmate.

Get a room.

LINDSAY:
Thanks, Grandpa.

Dad, I'll need a ride
to the hair place.

Enjoy your haircut.

It's a color, actually.

Hm.

Everyone is expecting
a three-way race, Dad.

-I can stand in for Sean.
-You've got your duties, Bill.

How's Poppy?

She doesn't talk to me,
and you know that.

I heard she's rebounding
with older guys now.

Sorry?

It's all over social media,
apparently.

Well, Poppy doesn't even have
social media,

except Instagram, so...

"Hey, boys, get involved."

And "Up for a tap and gap?"

I'm just really worried it makes
her look like a desperate skank.

That's all.

Hello?

ARLO:
Poppy, look. Sorry.

I know you don't want to hear
from me,

but, um,
this is kind of important.

Okay.

Look, I think Lindsay
is pretending to be you online.

You've got, like, a bunch
of accounts in your name,

and you're asking to get
with older guys.

Under my actual name?

Yeah. Yeah.

It looks like you've been busy
making friends

with many, many men.

POPPY: No. No.
I did not set up that profile.

ARLO:
No. I figured.

I should have expected it
sooner, I guess.

God, this is so boring.

Shay -- "Not coming."

Maybe she doesn't like
butter chicken.

Everyone likes butter chicken.

Arlo, have you spoken
to your sister lately?

No. Sorry.

KATIE: Pudding.
Should I make a pudding?

I can do that.
Maybe you could talk to her.

I don't know.

Well, something's definitely up,
and maybe it's a woman's thing.

Maybe I'm the wrong person
for the job.

Sure. Okay.

I'll talk to her tomorrow
and sort it out.

Thanks.

Hey!
G'day, mate.

-Hey.

We can talk about stuff,
right

Yeah. Course you can.
Come in, mate.

Yeah. Nah.
I won't stay.

Well, is something wrong?

Yeah.

Uh, Poppy's on this dating app,

and, uh, she'd come up on
my profile due to our location

and the fact that she's lied
about her age and -- and...

she's looking for sugar daddies.

What?

I-I'm just only on there

to see if there's anyone
'round here I've missed.

Yeah. No.
I think you're wrong, mate.

I -- It'll be someone
that looks like Pops.

That's all.

Well, I, uh,
I took a screenshot.

Poppy, we need to have a chat.

Um...look.

I know you're lonely, okay?

And I know you grew up
in a place

where there weren't a lot
of other kids around.

But...this is dangerous
behavior.

What's wrong with dating a boy
your own age?

Okay.
I know you got hurt by Arlo.

But -- But they're not
all like him, okay?

There are lots of nice boys
in year 12.

-Yeah.
-And if this is about finding --

Oh, my God.
You need to stop.

No.
Dating apps are not the answer.

-I don't know what the --

Yes.

She's thorough.

-No.

Well, it sure looked like you,
Pops.

Lindsay nicked my photo
from Instagram.

She set up a heap
of fake accounts,

and now she's on them as me,
chatting up crusty old guys.

Oh, my God.

I tried to shut it down,
but I've been locked out.

-That's it.

I'm going 'round there, and I'm
gonna tell that little menace --

Oh, no way!
No, you're not.

Let me sort it out
through the proper channels.

No. She's already caused
Poppy enough strife.

I know. I know that.
But I will sort it.

I promise you that.

Trust me.
I'm all over it.

GEORGE: Lots of things
tie families together --

good times, bad times.

I never had the misfortune
to go to Sea Scouts...

so I'll save you
from the knot analogies.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Uh, it's a care package,
from your dad.

I'll take that.

Thanks.

I have to go to work.

-I can give you a lift.
-I've got my bike.

Come on, Shay.
This is silly.

I...I know I overstepped
the mark with the Joe thing.

Please don't.

It was a mistake,
and it was inappropriate.

I apologize.

Come on, Shay.

I'm dying here.

We used to be friends.

That was before I realized
that you were two-faced...

...and you were selfish.

Okay.

Uh, I'm sorry
that you think that.

Look, I just want to
be left alone, okay?

It is what it is.

What do I tell your dad?

Tell him thanks
for the groceries.

WOODY: You know, life
before fatherhood was simple.

You just eat, sleep, surf,
repeat.

A little bit of play, little bit
of work, and you're done.

Now it's bullies, breakups,
these catfights.

I-It's doing my head in.

Being a parent
is a delicate balance

between guesswork and instinct.

Yeah.
Well, for you, maybe.

You've known your daughter
her entire life.

For me -- 100% guesswork.

Yeah. You were dropped
in the deep end.

At least you've got Tracey.

Yeah.
She's a total pro.

Thank God for stepmums, eh?

KATIE: The ball working bee this
weekend will be in the art room

for those of you
on the committee.

Um, we want people to feel like
they're in a giant mirror ball,

so bring anything shiny.

Thank you, Lindsay.

Knock, knock.

Quick word with the class.

Now, you all know Constable Tom.

He's here to deliver a reminder
about a very serious matter.

TOM:
Yes.

Principal Dennis wanted me to
remind you all that as of 2015,

it is a criminal offense
in New Zealand

to intentionally cause harm by
posting a digital communication.

TRACEY: He's talking
about cyberbullying.

Under the legislation,
such an offense is punishable

by a maximum fine of $50,000
or two years' imprisonment.

TRACEY:
And here at Weld District High,

we have a zero-tolerance policy.

That means no exceptions.

Now, obviously, we don't want to
see anyone go to prison

over stupid, pathetic,
childish bullying,

but there will be
other consequences,

starting with a ban
from the school ball next week.

Even if you have spent hundreds
of dollars on a new hair color.

-And I would like to add that --

Hey. Poppy. Maybe now
she'll take down the accounts.

Hey.

I heard about that court thing
with the guy that hit your mum.

Oh. Yeah.
Right.

I'm really sorry
you had to go through that.

Thanks.

And there I was,
being a cow to you.

I kind of deserved it.

I was a bit of a dick.

A little bit of a dick, yeah.

Fiona's new guy
seems like a good bloke.

Yeah, apart from when he tried
to turn Parata Reserve

into time-share apartments.

Does Fiona know that?

Yeah.
She's the one who stopped him.

Slammed him hard
in the environmental court.

-That's my phone.

-G'day, Mary!
-Woody.

How is it across the ditch?

Uh, it's not that great,
actually.

Oh, no?
Why is that?

Well, Gerry, uh, one of my
regulars, has been telling me

he's been having some very
interesting conversations

with my daughter online.

Okay. No.
Hold on.

Because I can explain
everything.

Please do, because the girl
I sent to New Zealand

is not the kind of girl
who writes, "I like beards.

They give me something
to hold on to,"

to a 62-year-old trucker she's
known since she was a toddler.

-Yeah. Yeah. I'm here.

JAN: Satino's sentence
has been reduced.

He's going home to his family.

Well, I guess that's what
we were thinking would happen.

You okay?

Yeah.

Sorry, George. The dishwasher's
doing that thing.

Oh.
Two ticks.

Good thing he's got someone to
hold his hand through all this.

KATIE: It's the least
I could do, really.

-Shay hates me.

She told me that I was selfish
and two-faced

and trying to replace her mum.

But I thought you two
were close.

We were, but...

-I haven't told him.

I can't.

But then I also
can't not tell him

because Shay's staying away
because of me,

and it's...so awful.

I wish I could help.

Sorry.
I have to go.

Our au pair was poached.

Tell George I'll check in
with him tomorrow.

Okay.

Okay.

I didn't realize
the hearing was today.

Hey.
Um, Grandma just called.

Nick Satino walked --
thanks to us, she said.

-She's pretty upset.
-Yeah.

I know Trish thinks otherwise,
but we did the right thing.

-You definitely did.
-Your mother would be proud.

It's the full stop we needed.

Yeah.

First day of the rest
of our lives, huh?

Yeah.
Something like that.

Tom and I had a really good talk
to the kids today,

and we are confident
the message got through.

Well, w-what does that mean --
a really good talk?

-Oh, she got the idea.

The idea about what?
Did

Or did

Oh, honey, there's -- there's no
proof that it was actually her.

Babe, we know it was Lindsay.

You suspect it was Lindsay.

Yeah.
Well, then let's charge her.

Woody, let me handle things
my own way, okay?

I know what I'm doing.

She was very good today.
Frightening.

Well, not as frightening
as Poppy's mum

when she called me
from Australia today.

-Yeah.

I told her
that we're handling it.

Well, we are.

Yeah.

Not very well.

Looks like fun.

With a capital "F."

When's your break?

We need to talk.

Here and now is good.

Nick Satino.

He got out.
Yesterday.

I thought Trish
might have called you.

She left a couple of messages.

I know it's not what you want.

At least Katie must be stoked.

What do you mean?

I don't like what she did, okay?

Sorry?

Don't act like this is news
to you.

-I know she would have told you.

That stupid intervention, Dad.

She had no business!

She's part of the family now.
That makes it her business.

Wow.
That was fast.

Am I not allowed to be happy?

She's trying to replace Mum.

No, she's not.

Hold on.
Did you tell her that?

-Yes, and I don't --
-How dare you.

How dare you treat someone
who's only ever cared for you --

Wow.
And you're taking her side.

Yeah, because you're behaving
like a mean little brat.

I'm ashamed of you.

-Hi, George.
-Hi.

SHAY:
Ninety-six.

SIOUXSIE:
Ninety

Hours of happiness.
I counted them.

From the time I saw that rainbow
at Artarta Cove

till it all came tumbling down
again.

Nobody said adulting was easy.

I'd better get back to work.

Or not.

You are dying a slow death
at the store.

And cleaning.
Look at your hands.

I need to wear gloves, eh?

Hey, remember my book
of dream destinations?

-Mm-hmm.
-Come with me.

I can't.

We don't only have to do
haunted places.

We can do touristy things too.

You're really gonna go?

If I don't soon, I never will.

We've got to get off
these little islands, Shay.

The bit where I tell Shay her
mother's killer has walked free

or the bit where she tells me
she's been blaming you for it?

Oh.
I'm sorry.

I believe honest and transparent

were what we promised
each other.

I didn't want to
come between you two.

I didn't want you to get angry
at her.

Well, I am.
I'm pissed off at her.

You didn't say anything,
did you?

No. No.
I shouted it.

In the Super Store.
I completely lost my cool.

That is exactly
what I was trying to avoid.

Well, a bit of advance warning
would have been good.

I'm sorry.
Let's regroup.

Dinner. Wine.
I'll cook.

I...I think that Billy and I
need a night at home.

Are you angry with me?

I just think that we could all
do with some breathing room.

Okay.

-Bye.
-See ya.

Poppy closed her accounts.
The old guys must be gutted.

You know what?

You used to be better than this.

Hey.

Hi.

Uh...I was wondering --

Do you want to go to the ball
with me

And Billy?

Yeah.
As...As friends.

It's not like a date.

I'm...not trying to get back
with you.

Just...

The school slag goes to the ball
with two guys?

-They'll love that.
-You are not the school slag.

No, thanks, Arlo.

-Okay.
-To the Billy part.

We don't need a chaperone.

What's going on?

Sorry, Katie.

You do know your house has been
on the market for years.

Unofficially.

I thought I needed
three months' warning.

That would be true
if you had a contract.

It's Weld.
We don't do contracts.

And in this case, it's come back
to bite you on the bum.

Ow! Ow!

Well...when's the first
open home?

Good news.
No open homes.

Well, that's something, I guess.

Years of stuff.
The gallery?

We will all help.

I can load up the police ute
on move day.

Billy's placenta is buried
in the garden under the titoki.

We don't have to dig it up,
do we?

I mean,
there is another solution.

You can move
into the Turner house.

-No, Hannah.

He's a much better cook
than you are.

Oh. Sex and food on tap.
You can't get better than that.

I'm not having
this conversation.

Katie just needs some time
to think.

Yeah. As long as it's under
three weeks.

You know, that probably is worth
a discussion with George.

One I might consider having

if I wasn't currently giving him
some space.

GEORGE: What I've come to learn
is family ties

are remarkably fragile.

-Sometimes they break.

And sometimes
they just come undone.

And it's then I regret
never going to Sea Scouts

and learning how to tie knots.

Duty free.
Want one?

-Saving the day.

After chatting last night,
I dropped everything,

booked the next available flight
and...voilà.

-Katie and I.

The Turners are in crisis.
Here I am.

I wouldn't say crisis.

And how can you just drop
everything?

You've got twins.

Steve the super house hubby.

Where is everyone?

Well, um, Katie and I
are having some space.

And, uh, I have no idea
where Arlo is.

And Shay is crashing
and burning.

See?
You do need me, George.

Letter of resignation.

-Effective immediately.

But I need four weeks' notice.

It's Weld, Dad.

Nobody does contracts.

Damn it.

And I'll need to borrow
a suitcase.

Siouxsie just resigned.
You believe that?

You don't want a job, do you?

-What I need is a house to rent.
-Right.

Now, this is a goodie.

Thrive on Ocean View Drive.

That's nice.
How much?

It's $1,000.

A month?
I can stretch to that.

-A week.
-Oh.

So...how do you feel
about living

a little bit further
out of town?

See youse.

Where are you going?

Meeting Arlo.

-That's great!

Yeah.

And I'll see you both
at the working bee.

Sure thing.

Well, you later.

See?
She's happy again.

All the social-media pages
have been taken down.

Hey.
I know how to principal.

Yeah.

You did good, babe.

Sean was talking about
farming them,

but I'm pretty sure
he just got her as a pet.

Does he take her for walks?

I think she'd like to go
for a walk.

Would you, Maxine?
Do you want to go for a walk?

I can't today.
I have an election on.

Look, I just said
I cannot leave Weld today.

Well, there must be
somebody else.

Hello?

Ballot papers?

Yeah.
New ballot papers.

This has still got Sean's name
on it.

About that.
I...

Oh, we've been through this,
Bill.

Nobody else even has a platform,
Dad.

Weld's sewerage system
is a mess.

You can't even handle
a simple admin request!

That llama would do a better job
than you!

-That's not what females do.

Come on, Maxine. Come on.
It's all right.

-ARLO: This is Maxine.

Say hello, Maxine.

And it's a, uh, alpaca,
not a llama.

I'm just looking after her
while Sean's away.

Very intelligent animals,
alpacas.

Right.
Come on.

Is this election even legal?

Amalgamation will mean
big changes.

We're not going down
without a fight.

Except you, George, have
other things to worry about,

like the ladies in your life.

I've left them both
several messages.

And?

-Nothing.
-Not as yet.

Right.

You sort your girlfriend.
I'll sort my goddaughter.

Thank you.

Can I have a flat white and an
almond soy latte to go, please?

Oh, you off to see Katie?

The only person around here
who drinks almond soy lattes.

Hope she's doing better today.

Tell her my offer still stands
to help with the move.

And I could always do with extra
flatmates if she gets desperate.

And she can store her stuff
at my place till she's sorted.

Am I missing something?

* You're counting on me *

* I'm counting on you *

* I got your back *

* When you're stranded high *

* Coming in like the tide *

* I hope you know
I'm on your side *

* Don't matter if you're losing
the fight *

* Or claiming the prize *

* I hope you know
that I got your back *

Hey. Hey.

* I got your back *

I must have looked like
a total nutcase.

Taking an ax
to a picture of Monty

is better than taking an ax...
to Monty.

It's not even him I'm angry at.
He's just doing his job.

And I know he feels bad.

It's just I was finally happy.

I allowed myself to think
that maybe...

Hey, hey.
You can still be happy.

And okay, yes,
this is your home.

But...you'll find another one.

We'll get through it.

All of it.

Never fear.
Wise auntie is here.

All the way from Australia.
Wow.

Dad really brought out
the big guns, huh?

I used to look at your mum,
and I used to feel so jealous.

She had it all mapped out.

Yeah?

Travel, law school, graduate,
junior associate,

senior associate, partner,
family in between.

And she did it all.

Yeah, she did.

But you...you're more
like your dad...or Katie.

You're artistic.

Your -- Your path,
it's not so straightforward.

So, how did Dad handle it?

Floundered around
doing random jobs

to finance his writing habit.

Fish factory, bike courier.

Oh, please tell me
he didn't go full Lycra.

Katie's a lovely lady, Shay.

She's kind.
She's caring.

She's really good for your dad.

Yeah.

Yeah, I get that.

You will always be
Laura's daughter.

You don't ever have to worry
about that.

I wish I was more like her.

Don't we all, kiddo?

Meanwhile, I have an idea.

While you're pondering all this,
you could come live with me.

Free room, your own en suite,
view of Sydney Harbor,

all in return for a teensy-
weensy bit of baby-minding.

What do you say?

Oh, you're serious?

It's a good turnout.

Look at Big Mac.
He's loving it.

Yeah.

Oh, my goodness.
Is that Jan?

Yeah. Yeah.
Here to solve all our problems.

Oh, after I moaned to her.
I'm sorry.

Oh, sweet.
Mum's here!

Before you say anything,

I am just here for the election,
Monty.

No other reason.

Sure, Ngahuia.

I really got that impression
when we were sexting

the night before last.

Jolene.
She's so cute.

Ugh.
Thirty hours of labor, though.

-Yeah, but worth it.
-Yeah.

Hey.

Hey.

Oh, gorgeous.

Stafford have voted.

No amalgamation
of our two councils.

-Yes.
-Oh, my God. You did it.

That silly republic thing.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we have news.

In an epic
David-and-Goliath battle,

Weld have stood strong
against Stafford,

and we remain separate towns!

To celebrate, we are going to
elect our president.

Who's Bill Jr.'s new girlfriend?

Attention, good people
of the Republic of Weld!

I wish to announce a new entrant
into the presidential race.

Maxine the alpaca
will be the third candidate.

Because someone recently told me

that Maxine would make
an excellent president.

TOM:
Uh, the polling booths are open.

This late-breaking candidate is
gonna make things interesting.

The alpaca-lypse is upon us.

So I call Mary up.
I tell her, "It's all good.

We've handled it.
Pops is sweet as."

And she was okay?

Well, yeah,
because then I told her,

"Why don't you just fly over,
see for yourself?"

-Yeah. She booked the tickets.

-Great.
-Yeah.

So she's gonna come
to the school ball,

but I'm keeping it
a complete surprise for Poppy.

Not for Tracey, though.
No more surprises for Tracey.

No. No, no, no.
Of course not.

Um, hey, did you notice
Poppy and Arlo are mates again?

Maybe the rough patch is over,
eh?

Well, I, uh, ticked your box.

How?
You're not even from Weld.

Special vote.

You could, uh, check if they
want to keep tenants on.

Well, they're
out-of-town vendors,

so I'm mostly dealing
with a lawyer.

They won't want to keep tenants.

Katie, I need a word.

What's with her?

I sold her house.

Good for you.

Yeah. Well, now she's got
nowhere to live.

You know, sometimes it's not
very easy being me, Ngahuia.

Oh, she'll find somewhere else.

Harden up, darling.

Move in with me.

George, we can't take a big step
like this

just 'cause I'm having bad luck.

-Because --

I-I know this is inspired
by your situation,

but...but who cares?

What if it's a disaster?

Well, you can move out
and we'll carry on as normal.

But something tells me
it's not gonna be a disaster

because, well, Billy and Arlo
get on really well,

and, you know,
I'm a clean person,

and...you're not a slob.

And because I love you.

Because I love you.

Oh.

I love you too.

So, is that a yes?

I have conditions.

-I see.

I'm not moving in

unless your children
are absolutely fine with that.

Both of your children.

They will be.

-Oh, thanks.

It's so great you two
are back together.

Oh, we're not, um,
back together.

BILLY:
Who knows what could happen

when the school gym
turns into a dance floor?

Have you guys seen that movie
"Pretty in Pink"?

My mum made me watch it once.

BILLY:
I've seen all those old ones --

"The Breakfast Club,"
"Sixteen Candles."

Hey, what do we all think
about having a prom queen?

We're a republic. I don't think
queens are allowed.

No one asked you, man-baby.

Leave him alone.

Uh, did somebody hear
that squeaking?

-Ignore it.

We're all supposed to be
working together

to make a successful ball,
remember?

What this ball needs
is a piñata.

Somebody hand me
the hot glue gun.

-Leave him alone.
-She wouldn't dare.

Watch me, shackle dragger.

I don't even know
what that means.

You're all convicts, aren't you?

Give me your glasses. I'm gonna
glue them to your face.

I am definitely not
giving you my glasses.

Give them to me
or I'll take them.

-One.
-Lindsay, you're being a dick.

Two.
Three.

Ow!

Um...

What happened?

Oh, my...God.

The result
for the first-ever election

for the independent Republic
of Weld is in.

The envelope, please.
Thank you, Tom.

Are you sure this is right?

Any way you count them,

the alpaca was the winner
on the day.

Thanks, Tom.
That's...great.

Sorry.

-And vice-president...Fiona.

Yes.

Sorry.
Well done.

I voted for Zac.
I thought he needed a win.

Yeah.
Let's get out of here.

Yes.

I know we've had our differences
lately, but that was genius.

Oh.

I think Maxine represents

all of our interests
here in Weld, Woody.

I don't know about that,
but it was bloody funny, mate.

"Come to school immediately."

"Come to school."

You attacked Lindsay --
with scissors!

Babe, attacked her hair
with scissors.

Her hair.

In full view of the rest
of the ball committee,

when she hadn't even laid
a finger on you.

She was gonna hurt Billy.

-Yes.

And yet she didn't lay
a finger on him either.

Why are you defending
that evil little bitch?

Because the facts
are all that matter here, Woody,

and the fact is I explicitly
warned you to stop.

And yet...

I'm sorry, Poppy,
but you're banned from the ball.

What? Trace,
you're her bloody stepmum.

I'm the principal, Woody.

Hey, keep your daughter
in line, Woodson.

You get yours in line, mate.

Have you told him what
you've been doing to Poppy?

Don't talk to my daughter
like that.

If you took your head out
of your arse for a second, mate,

you'd see what she's
actually like.

My head isn't up my arse.

Hey!
Stop it!

How does this help?

Wait in my office.

Come on.

BILLY: Surely Ms. Dennis
won't punish her.

She was defending me.

It doesn't look good, though.

-Hiya.
-Hi.

-Hey.
-Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Just take a seat.
Dinner's almost ready.

Hey, um, thanks for today.

I've decided what I want to do
with my life.

Well, I am intrigued.

What's this?

Okay.

So...Jan pointed out today
that I'm kind of going nowhere,

what with the Super Store
and being a cleaner.

Yeah. I'm glad somebody else
finally noticed.

Thank you, Arlo.

SHAY: So I thought about
what I want to do.

And, um, Jan said
that I'm my mother's daughter.

So...

...I want to go to law school.

I want to be a lawyer, like her.

H-Hold on.

I'm sorry?

Um, Shay,

I thought we talked about
you doing something...creative.

Art is a hobby, not a living.

ARLO: Can I just point out
in a kind and loving way --

You haven't even finished
high school.

No kidding, Arlo.
I'll go back.

Cool.
She'll be in our class.

You'd be considered
an adult student.

You wouldn't even have to wear
a uniform.

I'll, um, have to move back
in here, if that's okay.

GEORGE:
Oh.

Uh, yeah, yeah.
Course.

Um, look. Are you sure that law
school is what you want to do?

I really want to honor
Mum's memory.

I don't see
what's wrong with that.

GEORGE:
Yeah. Good.

Good. Great.
I'll -- I'll get the dinner.

Hi.

How's Poppy doing?

How do you reckon, Trace?

She's gutted.

-Yeah. Well, so am I, Woody.

Then unban her.

-I can't do that.
-You can.

You said it yourself.
You're the bloody principal.

Which means I can't go back
on my decision.

Not even
if it's a crap decision?

-Woody.
-First, you suspend her, Trace.

Then you ban her.

Because she was
physically violent both times.

I'm starting to think you've got
something against the kid.

-That's unfair.
-No.

What's unfair is that I invited
her mum here as a surprise

to see her go to that ball.

You what?

And now you've gone
and you've done this.

Oh, for God's sake, Woody.

I am the one that wanted
this ball to be a success.

What am I supposed to tell
her mum, Trace

What, that she may as well just
turn around and go back home?

Yeah. Tell her to take
her daughter with her.

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.

Righto.

Woody, please.

Um, well, thanks for dinner.

I'll drop some stuff off
tomorrow.

Yeah.

See you then.

It's good she's finally found
some focus.

I'm not convinced.

She sure put a dent
in our plans, though.

Mm.
No room at the inn.

Mm.

We could make room.
Billy and Arlo could share.

They're too old for that.

And it -- it wouldn't be right
with Shay here.

Take it off the table for now.

I meant it, what I said today.

Say it again.

I love you and your generous,
selfless heart.

Night, George.

Good night.

I had no idea that was coming,
George.

Law school?

She's setting herself up
for a fall.

I completely agree.

And all that work and the exams.

And Shay's hardly academic.

I came up with a perfect plan --
She'd come back to Sydney,

work for me while she finds out
what she wants to do.

-No.

As my au pair.

Shay is drowning in Weld,
George.

I am drowning in babies.

I thought we could come up with

a mutually beneficial
arrangement.

Of all the selfish,
self-serving...

What?
I'm trying to help.

What are you actually
doing here, Jan?

You've got two baby boys
at home, not even a year old,

and you run away
every opportunity you get.

So says a father of the year.

What?

You, letting your daughter waste
away in some grocery store,

while your son, well...

he seems to be going through
every girl in town.

Oh, that's nice.

Where are you going?

You know what?

I think we have both said
quite enough for one evening.

I wish you didn't live
so far away.

I won't...for much longer.

Did you find a house to buy?

Pass me some boxers?

-Tell me.
-Top drawer.

And...not yet.

Tease.

Babe?

How much did you see?

Enough.

All right. What do people want?
Plain or choc chip?

A tidy four-footer
with my name on it.

But it's waffle weekend.

Poppy?

Sorry.
Going for a walk.

Hey.

Hey.

Did she suspend you?

Banned me from the ball.

Oh, really?

Text me with live updates?

No.

No, I'm not going without you.

Hello?

About last night.

We said some things.

That I'm neglecting my offspring
and other choice offerings?

We both crossed the line.

I shouldn't have come.

Hi.

Hi.

-KATIE: That one. Yeah.

-Yeah. Hand in that one.

-Come in.

Good.
Hello!

What do you think of George's
reef knot, Madam Vice President?

What's happened?

This whole republic thing,
it's a farce.

Well, we knew that.

No, I mean there's a reason
they want to stop the merging.

Because we're
patriotic Weldians.

So they can sneak in
through our little council

and rezone a whole bunch
of land.

Who's "they"?

Big Mac and Vince...

in business together,
screwing us all,

selling clean, green Weld
down the river.