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0
00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:21,410
Look at that. Doggone. I'm so sick of this,
I don't know what to do.
1
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,421
- Look. Another one, another one.
- [TVChannel Changing]
2
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:26,083
300 cable channels,
and I gotta block off 280.
3
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,092
You know why? Sex.
4
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:31,925
It's every doggone where.
It's on TV, D.V.D., videotape...
5
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,932
even on the Internet.
6
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,502
Let me tell you all: The other day,
baby girl was on the computer...
7
00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,594
Iooking for some pictures
of some pussycats.
8
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:42,004
It took me six hours
to explain to her what she saw.
9
00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:44,008
Now, America,
I'm gonna tell you something.
10
00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:46,010
We gotta get this doggone sex
off the television...
11
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:48,012
and put it back on the street
where it belongs.
12
00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:51,015
- This is ridiculous. Humph. Another one.
- [Channel Changing]
13
00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:55,884
- That's a commercial. This...
- [TVTurns Off]
14
00:00:55,989 --> 00:01:00,153
?? [Singing]
15
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:03,286
- ?? [Whistling]
- [Door Closes]
16
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:06,627
Hey, yo, man.
Uh, where's the pool?
17
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,395
"Yo, man?"
Excuse me?
18
00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:11,902
The pool.
19
00:01:13,339 --> 00:01:16,240
- The pool?
- Man, forget it. I'll find it.
20
00:01:16,342 --> 00:01:19,743
?? [Hip-hop]
21
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,091
Baby.
22
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,931
What's all these kids here?
23
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,937
Vanessa's having a pool party.
24
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,303
Who told Vanessa she could have
a pool party at my doggone house?
25
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:51,434
I told Vanessa she could have
a pool party at our house.
26
00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:54,604
- Ahhh.
- Now, relax, Bernie. The kids are just having fun.
27
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:56,272
You know what?
That's all right.
28
00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:58,441
But if I see that knotty-headed boy
walking around here...
29
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:01,213
the one that was in the house
actin' like it was his...
30
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:03,653
Sweetie, just go back inside.
[Blows Kiss]
31
00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:07,021
- Go on.
- This ain't right.
32
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:10,187
See, now that... That right there?
That's one of those Similac babies.
33
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:13,231
Man. They ain't making 'em like that
when we were young.
34
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,733
Mm-mmm.
Man, if I was 15 now...
35
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:18,668
- You'd still be peeking and not playing, so shut up.
- [Laughing]
36
00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:20,966
What you all doing?
37
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,133
Yo. Yo, yo, Bernie, man, look.
38
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:25,575
Man, these girls dressing
like they grown, man.
39
00:02:25,678 --> 00:02:27,646
Mm. Look at the one
in the blue right there.
40
00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:29,647
- Where?
- Right there.
41
00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:32,240
- That's Wanda.
- [Giggles]
42
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:35,014
- Sorry, man.
- It's my bad, man.
43
00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:38,090
I don't envy you, man.
My daughter's a year older than Vanessa...
44
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,091
and I'm already chasing away the boys.
45
00:02:40,193 --> 00:02:44,357
Yeah, man, and boys at that age
only have one thing on their minds, dog.
46
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,432
- Uh-huh.
- Ahhh.
47
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:50,902
Oh, cut it out, man.
Y'�ll trying to put the cables on me, man.
48
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,904
Make me paranoid.
49
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,940
Besides, man, you talking about kids.
50
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:58,442
You know, I ain't worried about it.
51
00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:01,036
Wanda's out... out there.
She's chaperoning.
52
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:02,546
- Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm.
53
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,617
[Beeping]
54
00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:09,011
- What the hell is that?
- Hey, man.
55
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,249
We're just telling you how little boys are.
No need to get upset.
56
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:14,588
No. No! No!
57
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,691
- Get your hands off!
- What are you doing?
58
00:03:18,798 --> 00:03:21,198
Man, why your pops gotta be like that?
59
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:22,962
- He's not my pops.
- I'm not her pops.
60
00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:25,765
Why don't you get in the pool
and cool off?
61
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,966
- I can't swim.
- I don't want you to swim.
62
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,805
Why don't you get in the deep end?
63
00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:36,044
Bernie, leave these kids alone.
64
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,242
Look here.
I'm telling y'�ll both.
65
00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:41,149
I'm not gonna let Vanessa bring another
mouth in this house for us to feed.
66
00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:43,154
What?
What are you talking about?
67
00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:45,952
I'm talking about your sister's
too doggone young to become an auntie...
68
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,959
that's what I'm talking about!
69
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:52,794
Aunt Wanda, can you please tell
your husband to leave me alone?
70
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,094
He's ruining my party!
71
00:03:56,869 --> 00:04:00,305
She's a good girl.
Stop worrying.
72
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:03,204
He was holding her hand, baby.
73
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:06,437
Exactly, Bernie.
Holding hands.
74
00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:08,411
- How bad is that?
- That's a start.
75
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:10,812
That young boy got hormones
jumping all outta his body...
76
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,546
and you ain't making it
no better with that outfit you got on.
77
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:16,554
You like my outfit, Bernie Mac?
78
00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:19,420
Wanda, stop. You're making it
real hard for me to do my duty...
79
00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:21,425
- [Blows]
- As a parent.
80
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:26,060
You let Aunt Wanda handle
the duties as a parent...
81
00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:30,295
and maybe tonight
we'll talk about your husbandly duties.
82
00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:33,769
Now, shoo. Go on.
83
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:42,778
- What you doing?
- Oh, hey. Um, noth... It was time out.
84
00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:44,782
You a liar.
85
00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,977
I'm sick of this.
86
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,957
How the hell I get back here?
87
00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:00,794
Hey! What's this? Huh?
88
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,868
I was giving Kevin my number.
89
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,869
No, you was giving Kevin my number!
90
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,030
How come you're not in the deep end?
91
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:10,975
- Better hurry up.
- [Vibrating]
92
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:13,409
Your pager blowing up.
93
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,572
[Sighs]
You are ruining my life!
94
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:18,048
Aunt Wanda!
95
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,052
Bernie Mac, out!
96
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,214
Talking about I'm ruining your life.
Girl, I'm trying to save your life!
97
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,554
Well, fine. I tell you what.
98
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,559
I ain't changing no diapers.
99
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,156
Oughta kick in your chest.
100
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:38,065
Hey. Where you all going?
101
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,332
Yo, man, we can catch the game
somewhere else, all right?
102
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,637
No, no, man. I'm cool, man.
Come on. Sit down. Sit down.
103
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:48,242
Hey. What?
104
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:52,846
What the...
That little knot-head. Hey!
105
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:55,079
Bernie's letting those kids
drive him crazy, man.
106
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,157
Vanessa!
107
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:04,888
[Chuckling]
Yeah, what y'�ll running for?
108
00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:06,726
'Cause you won't leave us alone.
109
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,358
Alone?
Why you wanna be alone?
110
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,596
Y'�ll must be up to something.
111
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,194
We were just getting some soda.
112
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,866
Soda.
Yeah, I know what that means.
113
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:18,307
You better not be getting no soda
in this house, boy.
114
00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:20,879
- What?
- Don't "what" me, boy.
115
00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:24,609
You know exactly what I mean.
I'm not gonna let you ruin this girl's life.
116
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:29,381
Matter of fact, I want you out of my house.
Your party is over!
117
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,649
- I can't stand you!
- Yeah. Okay.
118
00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:34,886
You get out of here.
119
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,237
You see how ungrateful she is?
120
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:49,069
She hates me! I'm trying to save her
from making a big mistake.
121
00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,575
I ain't trying to be no hard guy,
America...
122
00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:55,238
but I'll chase baby girl around this house
every day if I have to.
123
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:58,579
If that's what it takes
to keep her away from boys, hoo!
124
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:05,923
I hate him.
125
00:07:06,025 --> 00:07:08,516
I heard that!
126
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:11,392
- [Sighs]
- I heard that.
127
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,626
[Large Bell Tolling]
128
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,932
Hey, baby.
129
00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:27,279
This is a great age, huh?
130
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:32,374
Tell me about it. I got a 13-year-old
at home... nothing but trouble.
131
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,385
She had a pool party the other day.
132
00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:38,048
All kinds of boys walking through the house,
hitting on her like they're grown.
133
00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:40,557
So then I'm the bad guy
when I throw their stuff in the pool.
134
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:44,892
Yeah. I think we oughta lock 'em up
from the ages of 13 to 18 to keep 'em safe...
135
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:47,898
and then at the age of 18,
unlock 'em, kick 'em out of the house.
136
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,230
That's exactly how I feel.
137
00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,395
Kids need boundaries. That's why
I send my boy to Catholic school.
138
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:57,067
- Me too. I'm Bernie, man.
- Hi. David.
139
00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:59,144
- David.
- Here we go.
140
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:00,269
- Hey, sport.
- Hey.
141
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:02,438
Dad, can I go over
toJordan's house and play?
142
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:05,016
No. I think Bernie's busy
and you got homework. Come on.
143
00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:07,051
No, no, no, no. He can come.
144
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,849
I mean, this is a great time
for boys to build a lifelong friendship.
145
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:12,186
Yeah. You're right. 4:00?
146
00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:13,986
Fine with me.
147
00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:15,993
[Doorbell Rings]
148
00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:18,222
- Vanessa, get that.
- Why?
149
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,232
None of my friends are welcome here,
so I know it's not for me.
150
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:26,438
[Doorbell Rings]
151
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:37,040
- Bernie.
- Hey, Dave!
152
00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:39,549
What's going on?
Dave. Byron.
153
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:42,382
Hey, Jordan!
Byron's here!
154
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:44,388
- Bernie Mac.
- Yes.
155
00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:47,050
I can't believe Dave didn't know
who you were. I am your biggest fan.
156
00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:50,560
You are, like,
the funniest man on the planet!
157
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:53,564
Uh, thank you.
Than-Thank you.
158
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:56,760
- Thank you.
- This is Phil, my very over-the-top partner.
159
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:58,837
Partner?
160
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:04,567
Bernie, I was just telling Phil
how much you and I have in common.
161
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:07,043
- It's uncanny.
- It's unnatural.
162
00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:09,046
[Chuckling]
163
00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:11,480
Well, I hope you have a good time, Byron.
164
00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:13,552
Give Daddy a kiss.
165
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:17,415
- Okay.
- Ciao, Bernie.
166
00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:19,582
Ciao. Take it easy.
167
00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:25,096
Okay. Here we go.
168
00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:27,791
All right.
Today is you guys' day.
169
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,868
Anything you wanna do is fine.
170
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:33,166
Look. I got a football,
got a pair of boxing gloves.
171
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:35,832
- Hey, look here. I got toy guns.
- [Electronic Gunfire]
172
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:39,002
We can play war.
You do play war, don't you, Byron?
173
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:42,347
Oh, whatever.
174
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:46,612
See this video game here? This game here,
man, you can tear a guy's head clear off!
175
00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:50,220
We'll have some
good regular guy fun today.
176
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,655
[Breathing Heavily]
177
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:57,122
Make a loop.
178
00:09:57,229 --> 00:09:59,390
The bunny goes up the hole...
179
00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:01,728
around the tree...
180
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,734
and back into the hole.
181
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,428
- Now, pull, but not too tight.
- Like this?
182
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:13,944
What the hell?
Yarn?
183
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:17,209
- What are you guys doing?
- Byron's showing me how to make a knot.
184
00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:21,377
Why you using yarn? That's for needlepoint
and tying bows on girls'- - Man, give me this.
185
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:23,614
We couldn't find anything else.
186
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,782
You mean you couldn't find wire
or fishing line...
187
00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:27,791
an extension cord,
something like that to play with?
188
00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:29,360
- Mr. Mac?
- Yes.
189
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,952
Isn't that stuff dangerous?
190
00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:33,293
Um, yes.
191
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:37,096
Listen. It's too nice outside for you all
to be inside playing with knots.
192
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:39,671
Come on. I want you all to get up.
I want you to go outside and play.
193
00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:43,606
Nah. Run between some cars
or something. Be men!
194
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:47,008
Bryana's having fun with her dolls.
Why don't you go break that up?
195
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,513
The Undertaker says bring it on!
196
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,607
[Both Grunting]
197
00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:58,117
- [Blows Landing]
- [Laughing]
198
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:00,124
Boy, those Three Stooges something else.
199
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:02,091
I'd have killed that Moe.
200
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,185
- [Grunting]
- Oh.
201
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,561
Jordan. Jor, Jor.
Byron.
202
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,068
Jordan. Stop, stop.
Break it up.
203
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,104
What's going on here?
You all playing too close.
204
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:16,265
We were just playing W.W.F.
I was about to give him a pile driver.
205
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:18,002
Ain't gonna be no pile driver, Jordan.
206
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:20,635
Did I do something wrong?
207
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:26,246
No, son.
You didn't do nothin' wrong.
208
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,287
Listen. I just want you all
to have some fun.
209
00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:32,414
Good clean fun. Okay?
210
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,686
Now, here. Go to it.
211
00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:39,595
- I'm making too much of this.
Maybe I'm too old school.
- ?? [Disco Playing]
212
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:44,261
Maybe they're just children.
Maybe they're just boys out there having fun.
213
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,600
Ain't nothing wrong with that boy.
214
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,164
America, the Mac man apologizes.
215
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,976
- Fourteen! Twenty-two!
- Oh, my Lord! Jordan!
216
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,948
- That's it. Playdate over.
- But why?
217
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,886
- Cause I said so!
- But we were having fun!
218
00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:06,389
Yeah. That was your first mistake.
219
00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:09,222
Byron, let's go get your stuff.
220
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,296
- Awww.
- "Awww." Let's go.
221
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,366
America,
I know exactly what you thinking.
222
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,560
"Those are two young boys
out there playing...
223
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:18,569
and what could be so wrong?"
224
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,969
See, I'm not trying to mess
with the boys' fun.
225
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,564
I just don't want them
to grow up too soft.
226
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,167
See, Jordan, he can be
anything he wants to be.
227
00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:29,406
If he wants to grow up to be a policeman,
he could be that.
228
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:33,178
Or how about a construction worker?
Nothing wrong with that.
229
00:12:33,285 --> 00:12:35,344
He even might wanna join the navy.
230
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,820
Hey. I have no problem with that.
231
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:42,758
It does not matter if he wanna be
a biker, a cowboy or an Indian chief.
232
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:45,422
I personally don't mind.
233
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:48,625
The boy could be
whatever he wants to be, right?
234
00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:52,101
[In Unison]
Whatever he wants to be!
235
00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:54,798
See? How you doin', cop?
236
00:12:57,443 --> 00:13:00,776
Uh, chief, your wampum
is comin' out your pouch.
237
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,783
L-Let's move on.
238
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,520
- Yeah.
- Hey, Bernie.
239
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,522
- Hey, hey.
- Hey, buddy.
240
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,524
Hey, sport.
Everything okay?
241
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:17,323
Yeah. Boys are great.
You know, Jordan has asthma...
242
00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:19,329
and I can see all the activity
kinda wearing him down.
243
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:22,628
- Ah, okay.
- Ooh. Hey, hon.
244
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:25,397
- What's going on?
- Oh, uh, Brenda, this is Bernie.
245
00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:28,064
- Bernie, this is my wife.
- Your wife?
246
00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:33,535
I thought you and Phil was partners.
247
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:37,082
We are.
We're writing partners.
248
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:39,515
But sometimes
I think they're the married couple.
249
00:13:39,618 --> 00:13:43,418
L... You know what? I gotta get back.
Jordan, he has a... He's wheezing.
250
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:45,990
So...
[Sighs]
251
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:49,390
See? That's why I didn't judge.
252
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,486
At most, I was overly cautious.
253
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:53,497
Man, there was children involved.
254
00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:58,400
Okay. I hurtJordan's feelings.
I'm sorry. He'll get over it.
255
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:01,302
And if I hurt you all out there,
forgive me.
256
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:07,041
- I hate him!
- I heard that!
257
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,376
- [Wheezing]
- Take your medicine!
258
00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:11,949
[Wheezing Continues]
259
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,327
So how we gonna get him?
260
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:28,230
I don't know, but we have to
choose our time just right.
261
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:31,303
[TV.' Soft Sound Track]
262
00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:36,405
Bryana's asleep.
Do you have any plans for tonight?
263
00:14:37,676 --> 00:14:39,906
No. You know I ain't got
no plans for tonight.
264
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:43,038
- [Sniffs]
- Good, 'cause I'm expecting a package.
265
00:14:45,851 --> 00:14:47,751
Package?
266
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:53,249
- Good night, kids.
- Good night.
267
00:14:55,494 --> 00:14:57,928
See?
268
00:14:58,030 --> 00:15:00,294
Respect.
That's what I'm talking about.
269
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,299
[TVTurns Off]
270
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:12,973
[No Audible Dialogue]
271
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:15,308
So, you want me to steal the package?
272
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,439
No, no, no.
There is no package.
273
00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:20,882
That was just a cover-up
so they could handle their business.
274
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:23,352
It's more like a code word.
275
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:26,322
Ohhh. Nasty.
276
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:29,189
This'll be the perfect time
for us to get him.
277
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:31,923
Yeah. Let's get him.
278
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,898
Do you think there's cookies
in the packages?
279
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,594
I don't know, but if you help us out...
280
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:40,570
I promise I'll get you
a whole bunch of cookies.
281
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,766
- Yea!
- Shh!
282
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,968
[Softly]
Yea.
283
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:48,972
?? [Soul]
284
00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:51,915
- You know, Mrs. Mac...
- Mm?
285
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,917
I think you're trying to seduce me.
286
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:56,579
Guess what? I kinda like it.
287
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,589
[Chuckles]
Get over here.
288
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,591
- Show you right.
- [Knocking]
289
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:03,355
- [Bryana] Uncle Bernie!
- What?
290
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,363
I'm scared!
291
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:10,367
- Scared of what?
- Uh, I forgot.
292
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,699
Come back when you remember!
293
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,773
Okay.
294
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,875
[Knocking]
295
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,877
[Bryana]
Uncle Bernie?
296
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,879
- [Sighs] Baby, hold on.
- Mm.
297
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,108
H-Hold on.
298
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:26,514
- [Yells] What?
- [Groans]
299
00:16:26,618 --> 00:16:29,553
You see?
There's no monsters down here.
300
00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:36,418
[Groans] Now, look.
I looked everywhere.
301
00:16:36,528 --> 00:16:39,588
I can't find no monsters.
Now, anybody else want anything?
302
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:43,230
Okay, good, because as of right now...
303
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,235
Uncle Bernie is officially off the clock.
304
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:49,774
Don't call me for nothing.
Call me again, see what'll happen to you.
305
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,747
- Is everything okay?
- Baby, it's crazy, man...
306
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,844
how those kids got great timing, man.
307
00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:05,355
Who cares?
Now it's our time.
308
00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:07,516
- Show you right. You know what?
- What?
309
00:17:07,626 --> 00:17:09,685
- I've been yearning for you, baby.
- Mmm.
310
00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:11,695
- Now.
- [Shatters]
311
00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:14,925
What the hell is that? Hold on.
See what I'm talking about? See?
312
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,934
[Whimpers]
313
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,528
Now, look.
I done told you all for the last time...
314
00:17:20,639 --> 00:17:23,608
not to disturb me, and that means
not even a knock on the door.
315
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,269
I don't want you all
to get out of bed for nothing.
316
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:29,370
If you put one foot on the floor,
I'm gonna be angry.
317
00:17:29,481 --> 00:17:31,449
- Do you understand me?
- What if we...
318
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,074
"What if' nothing!
You can't do nothin'!
319
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:36,586
I don't care if the earth quake.
You just ride it!
320
00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:39,384
Should have left you all at Cabrini-Green.
321
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:41,550
Just animals!
322
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,466
Y'�ll act like
you ain't got no home training.
323
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,706
?? [Soul]
324
00:17:58,610 --> 00:17:59,804
Baby.
325
00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:03,144
- [Thump]
- What's that?
326
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:06,012
- That's Bernie Mac.
- No. I'm serious. I heard something outside.
327
00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:08,086
- Baby, it could be a stray cat.
- Meow!
328
00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:09,677
- See?
- Oh.
329
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:12,313
- See?
- Mmm.
330
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:14,815
Mmm.
331
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,090
- Bernie. Bernie, look.
- What? What? What? What?
332
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:21,359
I told you there's someone in the yard.
333
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:23,367
[Yells]
Who out there?
334
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,801
- Hold on a second. Hold on now.
- I'm just saying, "Hey."
335
00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:29,499
Don't let me come out there!
You picked the wrong house!
336
00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:32,642
Wrong house!
337
00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:37,511
I swear you picked the wrong house!
You picked the wrong house! Yes, sir!
338
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,607
Now, I'm gonna ask you one more time!
339
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:42,687
- Who out there?
- [Bryana] It's a monster!
340
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,348
See? See?
I knew it was you kids.
341
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,687
I told you not to get out of bed, didn't I?
342
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,956
You're really in trouble now!
343
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:53,395
It's on now. I don't know
who you think you all playin' with.
344
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:56,059
Like I ain't never been a kid.
I was the worst kid on the block.
345
00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:58,227
When l... Yeah! I saw ya! I seen ya!
346
00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:00,066
Aha ha... Ow!
347
00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:03,005
- [Thump]
- Boy, I'm gonna kill you!
348
00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:06,339
You better hope my leg is broke. I swear
before the Lord and whatever on top of me...
349
00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:08,879
Wanda! Wanda.
350
00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:12,774
Baby.
351
00:19:14,386 --> 00:19:18,220
Okay. I understand that you are angry
with your Uncle Bernie.
352
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:21,224
But did you even consider
your Aunt Wanda's feelings?
353
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:25,194
Sorry, Aunt Wanda. You were in
the wrong place at the wrong time.
354
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:28,061
- Yeah. You were collateral damage.
- No.
355
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,601
No, you all were in the wrong place
at the wrong time.
356
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:32,602
I told y'�ll not to get out of bed...
357
00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:34,865
and y'�ll chose
to disrespect our privacy.
358
00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:37,066
- You didn't respect ours.
- Yeah.
359
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,371
You little kids
ain't got no doggone privacy.
360
00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:41,878
Bernie, stop it.
361
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:44,073
Vanessa.
362
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,743
He embarrassed me
in front of all my friends.
363
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,945
Jordan?
364
00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:52,023
I felt like Byron's mad at me
'cause he had to go home early.
365
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:55,384
- Bernie, say you're sorry.
- I'm not saying it.
366
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:58,122
Bernie, say you're sorry.
367
00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:00,130
I'm sorry.
368
00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:03,099
Kids, say, "T hat's okay, Uncle Bernie."
369
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,069
[In Unison]
That's okay, Uncle Bernie.
370
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:09,402
- Okay.
- Great. We're all one big happy family.
371
00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:12,204
You, go to bed. You three stay.
372
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:17,815
You're gonna tell me to say I'm sorry.
I ain't did nothing.
373
00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:24,212
Now, your Uncle Bernie has shown you
that your feelings are important.
374
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:27,451
And he and I need our time alone.
You understand?
375
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:29,925
- Yes, ma'�m.
- Yes, ma'�m.
376
00:20:30,028 --> 00:20:35,295
Good. Because the next person
that comes into your room will be me.
377
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,425
And we don't want that, do we?
378
00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:39,800
- Nope.
- No, ma'�m.
379
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:43,102
Good. Good night.
380
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,301
And I'll take these.
381
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:49,681
?? [Soul]
382
00:20:59,725 --> 00:21:02,990
- [Sniffs]
- [Wanda] Baby, let's go.
383
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,893
Baby? Bernie?
384
00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:09,833
Ohhh.
385
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,978
We'll pick up on this tomorrow night.
386
00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:25,982
Oh, wait. I have a meeting.
387
00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:28,245
Okay. Some other time.
388
00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:34,484
[Cackles]
389
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:40,931
Lemme be straight.
390
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:43,092
This ain't aboutJordan being gay.
391
00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:45,931
I don't care if he play with a little boy
or a little girl.
392
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:48,939
I don't want him to be
exposed to sex at his age.
393
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,502
If you like, I'll put him in a bubble.
394
00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:56,772
You gonna tell...
395
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:59,612
You gonna tell me
how to raise my nephew?
396
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:02,551
If I don't want him to play with
whoever I don't want him to play with...
397
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:04,554
he ain't gonna play with them.
398
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:07,284
Y'�ll can cut it off.
Humph.
30929
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