All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.New.York.City.S12E03.480p.x264-mSD[eztv]

- Previously on...

- The basement?
- It's a lower level.

- The lack of
Ramona's consideration

is just mind-blowing.

She's got some [bleep] nerve.

I just wish I had someone that
could step in and say,

"I'm gonna make it all better,

There's nothing carefree
about me anymore.

I'm not nice to anybody.

- And if she forgets it,
you just need to turn around

and bend over. - Oh, my God!

- Like, do you ever leave, like,

your little 1%,
Upper East Side bubble, ever?

- Hi!
- Oh, my God!

- Christina, lovely to see you.
How are you?

- Oh, my God,
my other girlfriend. Hi!

[ cellphone rings ]
Hey, Lori, I'm in the Hamptons.

- Are you here or are you
sort of here?

- She just called me.

- I feel like
we're being ignored.

- How can you socialize
too much?

Okay, I'm a single woman.
I need to be social.

I mean, get over it.
- Just be present with us.

That'd be great. - I am present.

���

- I'm not always right,
but I'm never wrong.

- I'm no one's accessory.
I'm the whole lifestyle brand.

- I don't need to find love.
I love myself.

- I may float like a butterfly,
but I sting like a bitch.

- Life isn't a fairy tale,

but I'm hoping mine's
the exception.

- Raise the curtains,
lower the lights.

I'm taking center stage
in my life.

���

- Oh, my God, Sonja. You've got
the glue all over your face.

- It... it dries clear. No,
but look at on your forehead.

I mean, on your forehead...
- Yeah, you just roll it off.

- Girls, we're not going
to a party, just the vineyard.

- Look who's talking!

You're dressed like
you're going to Studio 54!

- Do we like that
going up like that?

You can see the shoe more.

- No. Leave it down.

You like it down?
- Yes. Absolutely.

- Having these five women
stay with me,

I gotta make sure they're not
bored and fighting.

Children, are you ready?
The little girls. [ giggles ]

We're first gonna go
to a winery.

It's just something about
bonding together,

you know, the beautiful...

grapes and...

wine trees,
whatever you call 'em.

[ laughs ] What are they called?

- Okay, I'm taking this glue
with me, like Tinsley does.

Now I know whys
she always has glue.

- Oh, Luann's at
the chiropractor. That's right.

- The what?
- The chiropractor.

Luann...
I was thinking, "Where is she?"

- Oh, she's not
at the chiropractor.

She's on a boat right now
somewhere in the mist.

Surprise, surprise,
Luann woke up this morning

complaining about her room.

- Ramona, you got a little
spider issue downstairs,

by the way. - I do?

- Yeah. I was brushing my teeth,
and then...

� The itsy bitsy spider
came down the water spout �

- Oh, God! [ gasps ]
- She's like, "I need to go

to the chiropractor."
Wink, wink.

- Are we all taking this car?
- This is not good.

Yeah, we'll all fit in.

- Oh, those shoes are gonna
get wet.

- Oh, my gosh.
That's a lotta ass on there.

- You got two... [ laughs ]

Two mama casitas.
- Yeah. [ laughs ]

���

- Okay, girls, we're here!

Let's just do it.

- Oh, God, my dress is blowing.

- Oh, jeez.
- Whoa!

- It's fabulous.

- Hey, ladies.
How are you today?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Any questions
about the menu so far?

- What do most people drink?

- The Tom and ros� is
the most popular.

- [ speaks indistinctly ]
- Sure thing.

- Can I give the merlot?
- Of course.

- Oh! [ menu thuds ]

- I mean, I...
- She's having a glass of wine.

I thought you don't drink.

- I'm not... I'm not "sober."

I'm... I'm on my...
I do my own thing.

I don't consider myself
an alcoholic at all.

The reason why
I stopped drinking was

because I didn't like what
it did to my life.

But that was a long time ago,
and now I've been drinking again

for the last six months or so,

and I pick and choose when
I'm gonna drink.

And... today I'm choosing
to drink.

We're all on
our own little journey

and, you know,
we gotta figure it out.

- Okay, I'll choose
pink, uh, t-tonic.

- Gin and tonic.

- Luann can't come.

- Because she's at her house
having a grand old time.

I told you. - Uh, "Hey, girls,

my neck cracked
and still have a headache."

- Oh, yeah.
- Move on the boat.

- "Doctor told me take it easy,
sorry, not gonna make it.

Saving my energy." Okay.

- On the boat,
having a great time.

- Doctor said take it easy.

All right, so we'll
see you later.

- You know what?
I mean, it's a winery.

- Okay.
- Right.

- In what world
would it occur to you

to invite your friend
that's battling sobriety

to a winery and act surprised
that she decided not to show up?

Not a bit riddle, guys.

- Oh, here come the drinks,
girls.

- Yay!
- All right!

- Drinks! Drinks! Drinks!

- I got Tom and ros�
in a wine glass.

- Okay, and you know what?
She was...

Can you bring a wine glass?
- Of course.

- Because she wants hers
like this.

- Absolutely. No problem.
- Don't worry.

Cheers. Leah...

After 24 hours, we've already
gotten her to drink.

- But guess what?
The weekend's not over yet.

We don't know... we don't know
if she'll last.

- Nervous? Scared?
- No, no, no.

I'm scared of what happens
when I drink.

- So are we! [ laughs ]
- So bring it on.

- All right, so listen,
so I think everyone should share

a story about something
that makes them vulnerable,

just to show who you are.

- This is like
that rose and thorn thing,

but I always am like...
- No, there's no thorn.

- ..."What the hell?"
- No, this is real [bleep].

The way you bond with someone
is to open up,

not like, "Where do you get
your hair done?"

or, "Oh, I like your earrings."

Like, no, what do you feel
inside?

I had no love from my father.

I didn't know what
I was coming home to.

Like, dishes, flying,

screaming, yelling. - The same.

- We are the product of
our parents' unresolved issues.

And we get to be
the mothers we wanna be.

We get to, like...
- I think I broke the chain.

- You broke the chain.
We broke her...

- We all broke the chain.
We broke the chain. We did.

That's how you get close
to someone.

That's how
you get to know someone.

So I'm gonna start first.
Think about it.

All right, so basically,
I grew up in

a very destructive household.
- Yes.

- When I was about 15 years old,

I didn't know what was gonna
happen with my life.

And I'd play my music
on the record player

and I look out the window,
and the clouds in the sky,

and I would just be thinking,
"Where am I going with my life?"

- One day, yeah.
- "What is out there for me?"

- You didn't know how
you were gonna get there.

- Well, now, years later, I'm
driving home from the Hamptons,

and all of a sudden,
I flashback.

- You're there.
- I felt... I felt like

I was 16 years old.

Where am I going?

I don't know where
I'm going with my life.

I'm being serious.
I don't know where I'm going.

- I getting goose bumps.
- I'm, like, crying already.

Like...
- I don't know where I am.

[ voice breaks ] And I started
crying for my mother.

I said, "Mommy! Mommy!"
Like, "Help me!"

- Oh, my God! I didn't think
you were so self-realized!

I thought you were
avoiding that.

- No. My mother died, like,
12 years ago,

and I'm in the car, crying for
my mother like a little kid.

What's really important
in life is,

"Do you feel safe with
a person?"

And I don't have that
in my life, and that's what

really, really
kind of scares me to the core.

But, I mean, I don't wanna admit
to it, not even to myself.

I don't know what I wanna do.
- You're like, "What's next?"

- Yeah! Thank you!
- Yeah.

- What's next, mom?
- Yeah. Right.

- But imagine yourself
in my position,

not having a child
and having that same feeling.

That same feeling.
- Well, why don't you share?

- I don't really know where
I'm going, either.

But at the same time,
if that's how you're feeling,

at least you have something
you've, like, done.

Like, you have a kid.
Like, you can check that off.

- I know.
- I don't have that.

- Do you feel lost?
- And all of you guys have that.

You've checked it off.
- Do you feel lost?

- Yeah, that's right.
- It's not a thing to check off.

It's deeper than that.
- You shouldn't be...

You shouldn't be checking a box.
One of my frustrations with you

is... 'Cause I do enjoy you,
Tinsley...

But I do feel like...

I-I was watching
the Discovery Channel

the other night.
Don't... Just hear me out,

then you can be mad at me.

And they were talking
about icebergs.

Expect the amazing thing
about an iceberg is,

as big as and beautiful as it is
on the surface,

90% of the iceberg is
under the water.

- Right, I...
- And I sometimes feel like

we're only seeing the 10%.
It's not because

we wanna be nosy.
- Like, you have a boyfriend.

Somebody told me you have
a boyfriend.

Like, you haven't even
told us yet.

- I didn't even know about
the new boyfriend!

- Yeah.

- Coming up...

- Right after high school,

I went to rehab for
three months.

When my parents came to
come get me, they were like,

"You're not coming home,
but we did find

a halfway house for you to
live in that's run by nuns."

- Like, you have a boyfriend.
I didn't even know about

the new boyfriend! - Yeah.

- I started dating this guy,
Bruce, in March.

He's from Chicago.

He has three children.
He has two ex-wives.

The whole thing. - Wow!

- So it's very different for me

because I've never
been around children,

and I pride myself
in the fact that, like,

I was, like, immediately,
like, able to, like,

deal with it and, like,
be a part of his family.

- [ speaks indistinctly ]

- Ex-wives and the kids.
- That's a lot.

- We all hung out together.

I mean, this is why I haven't
really talked about him

'cause I don't really know if
this is going to be

a long-term situation because...
- Right.

- I'm not used to being, like,
one of, like,

an army of people.
- And he's [bleep] selfish!

- Where do I fit in? [ laughs ]
- He's [bleep] selfish.

And he hasn't realized
what a hot...

- Now we're...
This is the iceberg!

- He doesn't... he doesn't realize
what a hot bitch he has.

- Uh-oh!
- And he's taking you

for granted. - Whatever.

So this is what happened,
because I saw Leah,

and we talked about Bruce
a little bit.

- Do you feel like waiting
to see him,

do you feel like
you're wasting time?

- I'm always feeling that way,

that I'm walking through
a relationship with a man

who has three kids, and I
problem won't have my own and...

- Yeah.
- So...

It's hard.

The problem is that I've had
three different times

in Chicago, whether it was my
birthday or his son's birthday

or another kid's birthday
or his...

A lot of family was happening,

and I was like... just like,
"I can't deal.

I need some alone time
with you."

- Of course you do.
That's important.

- But also, he was having
his social life

with his [bleep] friend,
and that's crazy.

- Right, so it was like...
- I mean, that's okay,

but, like, what about
just you and him, right?

- Bruce and I are really not
in the best place.

I mean, I don't really love
being, like,

number six on the totem pole.

So I just don't think that
I see this really working out.

- That's a [bleep] boy.
Are you [bleep] kidding me?

- But that's not... I mean,
that... [ speaks indistinctly ]

- When you say he's
a [bleep] boy,

is he a good lover? Not even?

- No. No, a [bleep] boy
is not good.

How do you not know
what that is?

How do you think
that's something good?

It doesn't even, like,
sound good.

- I appreciate... I appreciate
you sharing it. I appreciate it.

Okay, so, Leah, tell us
something about you.

- Right after high school,
I went to rehab for three months

'cause I was
having some... issues.

And so when my parents came
to come get me

after the three months' rehab,
and then they were like,

"You're not coming home."

- Really?
- What?!

- And I was like, "Well..."
- Can you imagine

telling Hannah,
"You're not coming home"?

- I was a really
[bleep] up teenager.

I put my parents through hell.

My mother was like,
"Hy, we really can't have you

"in the house anymore because
you're disrupting

your brother and sister's life."

And I was like,
"where am I gonna go?"

Like... And they're like,
"We... You're not coming back

"to our house.
We can't have you there.

We don't want you there."
- Whoa!

- Where was home?
- In Connecticut at the time.

They were like,
"You're not coming home..."

- [ gasps ]
- "...but we did find

a halfway house for you to
live in that's run by nuns."

And I was like, "You've gotta be
[bleep] kidding me."

So they drove me all the way
to upstate New York

and they drop me off
at this nunnery.

And the [bleep] car drove off,
and I remember

the dust was all clouding up,
and I was looking at my feet,

like, "What's happening
to my life?" You know?

Now I realize that my mother was
trying to save my life

because she had
to push me out and go,

"You need to
face the consequences

of all your actions,
all your behaviors."

And honestly,
it gave me perseverance

to be like, "I'm starting
my own company.

I'm doing things my way."

Because I've already
been through the worst.

Nothing can get worse.

- It takes a lot of
vulnerability

for Leah to confide to
all of us women

what she went through.
I feel bad for her.

I do. I can have empathy

because I went through a bit
of that myself growing up.

- Oh, God. Mer mer.

- Oh, God.

- And you're next.
Come on, Dorinda.

- Well, then give me
another napkin.

- All right, give me one, too.
- I have been through...

I've been crying
for, like, a month now.

I don't know what's wrong
with me.

- You're pregnant.
- [ laughs ]

- You wanna see
a therapist together?

I'm going to a therapist,
by the way, so...

- So if I had to
give a secret to the world...

- What's the secret?

- I'm scared every day.

- Of what?
- Just...

[ cries ] - Oh, my God.

[ crying ] Don't be scared.

Don't... don't be scared, baby.
Don't be scared.

- I know everybody thinks
I'm so strong and so tough

and so able and so this,
and be the... the...

The anchor for everyone's boat.

But sometimes I wanna be
the boat every once in a while

and just anchor to someone.

- She's very overwhelmed
with her home.

- It's not that I don't have...

I have a strong family. I have
a boyfriend that love me.

I have a daughter that loves me.

Hannah's very dependent
on me still.

John's very dependent on me.

My family, my house, my this.

I'm always running the show.

- No, you do everything
for everybody.

- My life has gotten very heavy.

I wake up worried.
I go to bed worried.

And I'm not with anybody
that can help me with this.

John has never had
this kinda life

where there's been homes
and... and...

And responsibilities like this.

I need a partnership.

Quite frankly, I'm tapped out.

- But maybe it's a wake-up call
that you can't do this, like,

for everyone.
You need more for you.

You need something.. - Yeah.

- ...'cause there's
too much pressure on you.

- Honestly, so much pressure
goes on women.

It's insane.
We have to do everything.

- Everything.
- Like, I know men are supposed

to... they think they're
the "stronger" ones?

No, it's the women.

- All right, Sonja, you're next!
- You're next!

- Wait, I gotta go back. Wait,
I gotta go back to my seat.

- Um...

I saw Ramona,
I guess a week ago,

and I just lost my [bleep]

sort of like Dorinda does
every 15 minutes.

- [ laughs ]
- Um...

You get to a point...
- It's true!

- You get... you get to a point
like Ramona, where you say,

"Where am I going now?"

How did I get here?
All I do is work,

[bleep] pay bills, and I just
have one foot in nursing home,

and I'm like, "But I didn't
sign up for this!" Ramona!"

...so my Venetian plaster
and my Gracey wall paint...

Oh, my God. It's just so bad.

...and then you die and you
catch some dick on the way.

I mean, the dick's good.

...you've always been
run out of the house.

Daddy's got a shotgun.

...you know those onesies?
- Yeah.

- At worst, could be big babies.

...so I'm also saying,
"What do I wanna do?"

���

- I thought we were
expressing our hearts.

- I think I need
the oxygen tank.

[ laughs ] - Correct.

- Get it here and now, please.

- Sonja's had a couple drinks
and she's used this opportunity

to tell us everything except

for what she's vulnerable
about right now,

which she is vulnerable about
a lot of stuff,

but she's talking about
everything else.

Stop her!

- I'm gonna go 'cause I'm gonna
go check out

where we're having the party
tonight.

- Well, let's all go.
I think we're all ready.

- No, no, you're gonna
go back to the house.

I'm gonna go to, um,
Farrell's house.

Tonight, I have this fabulous
cocktail party planned

at my friend Joe Farrell's home.

31,000 square feet in
Bridgehampton, beyond stunning.

Their mouths are gonna drop.

- That was great, Ramona.
That was great.

- Oh, my God. Leah, Leah...

- Thanks for making us do
that painful shit.

I think my daughter... she goes,
"What's Leah like?"

Well, I didn't think I'd like
a girl with tattoos.

She goes, "Mommy!" - Oh, my God.

I'm getting them all removed!
Leave me alone!

[ glasses clink ]

- Coming up...

- I'm not arm candy!
I don't shave my pussy!

- Can you stop screaming?
- I don't shave my legs.

- Oh, my God, you're driving...
Stop screaming.

���

���

- What are you wearing tonight?

- I am wearing this black
high-neck dress, long sleeve.

[ speaks indistinctly ],
maybe blue.

- Mm-hmm.
- It's cute, short, honestly.

- Oh, my God.

- I don't think I'd ever even
consider it a date

because it was, like,
the lamest date ever.

- He took you to
a [bleep] basketball game.

- I know. We just, like,
sat there, and we left.

And did he even, like,
feed you or anything?

- I found out, when I was on
my date with Joe Farrell,

that he knows Ramona and that
he went on a date with Bethenny.

So I could just tell
he's not my type.

I don't think he drinks either,
so he's definitely not my type.

- Oh, my God, I've been doing
ros� all day and I feel great.

- Hey, girls.

- Luann!
- I'm home!

- Yay, Lu!

- I'm gonna go down and, um,
just freshen up a little bit.

- Why don't you do your makeup
in my bathroom? Come up here.

- I can do that.
I'll bring it upstairs.

I don't wanna miss any moment

of bonding with the ladies
at this moment,

but I'm glad I went to
take care of my neck.

I did not sleep well last night
between the smell

and the spiders coming down
from the ceiling.

It was not comfortable.

- Dorinda, do you have
my white shawl, please?

I wanna use it tonight.
- Yeah, right here.

- How was the venue?
- Pardon?

- How was your afternoon
after you left?

- Well... I had a date.
[ laughs ]

- You are kidding me.

I've never seen a person be able
to slip in and slip out of dates

so quickly.

I mean, she's like
sliding doors.

- I had, like,
two dates tonight.

- [ laughs ] Oh, my God!
You look awesome!

- One for drinks,
one for dinner.

I don't want you to get upset
with me...

- But you're starving.
- No. I'm fine.

- Then what?
- But I need to leave at 8:00.

- What time?
- 8:00?

- Do you.

- On a date. Oops! Off.
Whoops! Went on a date.

Went on a date.
Hey, went on a date.

It's... it's... it's...
It's impressive.

Is he gray-haired, like
you said?

- No. He has, like, dark hair.
He's dark. He's Persian.

- Really? So he's sexy.
I like that.

- He... Yeah, he's very. And he's
more flirtatious than me.

- I think is sounds amazing.

- Ah! You know, I'm just
going with the flow.

- Do you have a...
- Hi, girls.

- Yes.
- Hey, Lu.

- Hey!
- Hi! Hi!

- Wow! That's looks pretty.
- Thank you.

And you look beautiful, too.
- Very nice.

- Hi, missy.
- What's going on here?

- What do you mean?

- You're doing
the Laura Ashley thing

or the Ralph Lauren thing again.

- You have allergies?
- I do.

- Is it all the flowers
you're wearing?

- They're all fresh. I just
picked them out of my garden.

- I think it's
a beautiful dress,

but I'm not sure if I like
the sweater with it.

I would do the sweater over.
- It's a sweater.

- It's cold.
- It's freezing.

- No, no, I'll get you a jacket.
I don't like the sweater

with it. - Freezing.

The sweater throws it off.
- Oh, do the jean jacket.

- Different areas have
different styles,

and that floral dress does not
belong in the Hamptons.

It belongs in Nantucket,
or maybe in Atlanta, Georgia.

- What were you doing?
[ pounds countertop ]

Were you on the boat
and having super sex?

- Yeah, right. [ laughs ]

- She's just not feeling well.
Come on.

We just wish you were there
with us, that's all.

- [ speaks indistinctly ]
- That's why, yeah.

- I am so glad I missed
that lunch.

By the looks of it,
Sonja's been way overserved,

and we haven't even gotten
to the party.

- Tinsley, Leah, you ready?

'Cause if not, you can take
the second car.

We have two cars.
I gotta go 'cause I'm the host.

Maybe they left already.

- I wish I could've... Maybe...
- Hello? Girls?

���

- Lookin' good, bitches.

Where's Ramona? Screaming?
- These guys are all, like,

dolled up for a New York party.
I'm like...

- I'm just wearing this
'cause this is all I have.

- How long have you been
coming here?

- 35 years.
- That's amazing, isn't it?

So the guy... the host's name
is Joe Farrell.

- Yeah. And he did...
He's a major developer here.

- Right.

- He's huge. He's huge.
He's huge.

- Finally gonna see
the house of Joe Farrell.

I'm very curious.

- Wow. Ramona Singer pulls it
out of her hat again.

The social butterfly
of the group.

She needs to really
be knocked down a notch.

She's like, "This one is my
friend because I go to plumbing.

This one is... [ mutters ]
because I go on yachts."

And I go, "You know, really,
it's not a good look."

- This is my friend's place.
Campbell, Bobby Campbell.

- Beautiful.
- He's the guy who invented

the lights on kids' sneakers.

- I'm trying to hang on to
my long-term friends,

and those people are
your people,

but they're superficial friends.
They're friends that say,

"Hi. How are you?
How's the weather today?"

Next! - Right.

- You know, the rent-a-crowd,

the... the...
The party filler people.

- Mm-hmm.
- They're not her near and dear.

- Right.

- Ramona is hosting this party
at this fancy house

to show us
all her fancy friends.

Fancy schmancy.

This is just gonna be another
boring party

with stiff people
and a lot of small talk.

Sometimes I think
my girl Ramona forgets

what's important in life.

���

- Wow.

Beautiful house.

Thank you for letting me
use this bag.

- Of course. Looks good.

- I would've been lost.
I wanna get it now.

- I know. It's beautiful.
- You know, it's... it's like

they're beautiful basically,
but it's the best one.

- Hey, David.
- Hey, darlin'.

- How are you?
- Great.

- I want you to meet
my really good friend.

- Hi.
- Dorinda, this is David.

[ speaks indistinctly ]
- Nice to meet you.

- So excited we're here!
- Beautiful house.

- Oh, my God! It's so beautiful.

���

I love this mirror.

You don't understand how much
I love standing mirrors.

I have one in my apartment.
- This one's beautiful.

- Oh! Oh, God! I-I-I'm in love
with this mirror.

- Oh, this is fancy!

- It's "for sale" sign.

- Oh, it's for sale?
No wonder we're invited.

[ laughter ] - Right.

[ crickets chirping ]
- Are they checking our records?

[ laughter ]
- You got your I.D. with you?

- We're never gonna get in.
- Oh, my gosh!

- All four of us have mug shots!
- Aah!

- All four of us have mug shots!

- I know.
We're in the right car.

- We're not gettin' in!

- We're so good,
'cause we are roxy, baby!

- Coming up...

Do I put my... do I put
my straps on?

- Just hold on.
- Okay. Good.

- Hold on. You ready, baby?
- Yeah, baby. Are you ready?

- Oh, my God.
- Aah! I feel like a sexy...

- Hold on, Ramona!
- Oh, [bleep]! What's going on?

- Whoo!

���

- Uh, here we go, kids.

This party is all about, like,
behaving.

- Yeah.
- Who wants to behave?

- Aah! Aah! [ laughs ]
- Hello. How are you?

- Ramona has her shawl on.
Oh, she's so lovely.

Oh, my God...

- [ laughing ]
- Oh, hi.

- This is not the type of party
I'm used to going to.

It's seriously some
"Eyes Wide Shut" [bleep].

People are start
putting on goat masks,

and I'm gonna end up
being taken in a back room

and be made
to be someone's bitch.

- What are you offering?

- It's ros�, sauvignon blanc,
and sparkling water.

We have vodka and tequila
at the bar

if you'd like
something stronger.

- Um, do you have gin?
- We do not.

Unfortunately.

- We're in a $30 million house.
You don't have gin?

- We don't.
- Okay.

Let me follow you to the bar.
- All right.

- This isn't the only house
this guy has.

He should've invited us to
the real house then

with the real liquor.
I'll go to Tito's.

- Tito's on the rocks?
- Yeah.

I'm taking after you.

- You know my good girlfriend
Kathleen Hyster.

You've met her before.
- Oh, yeah. Hi.

Nice to see you.
Why you being so formal?

Hello. Nice to see you.

- Well, you're being
as formal, too.

- Hello there. [ laughs ]

- And this is Christina Disimo's
husband George.

- Hi, George!
- And this is Tinsley.

And I don't think you ever
met Tinsley.

And this is Leah,
our new friend...

Her enemy.
- Hi. I'm... [ laughs ]

- How are you?
- I'm... I'm Leah.

Nice to meet you.
- [ speaks indistinctly ]

- How are you?
- How are you?

- This is Leah, our friend.

[ laughter ]

Yeah...

- This is hilarious to me.

Sonja legit has, like, lived
the way that Ramona's

trying to pretend
that she's living right now.

Why? Like, are you kidding me
with your pashmina on

and, like, "Oh, how to..."
Oh, yes, how do you do, bitch?

Like, I know you!
What are you doing?

- Why you being Miss Manners
right now?

- 'Cause that's how I am
at a party.

- Okay, okay, I mean...
- I have my party mode on.

- Just because we're in
a $30 million house

you don't have to act like a...

- $39 million. $39.9 million.
- ...like a $39 million bitch.

Let's act like we're in
your $7 million home, okay?

- What do you want?
- Actually, it's 8 right now.

- Okay, fine,
let's act like that.

- It went up to 8. Got appraised
to 8.5, just so you know.

- You're acting very fancy.

- Give her a lime.
- Well, sorry.

- I like to be down-to-earth.
I live in a 2-bedroom.

I only 1,100 square feet.

- That's pretty large, still,
for a single women.

This is how I act with
my friends, my other friends.

I mean, with Sonja, I have to
bring myself down

to be with her the way she is.

With my other friends,
I have to elevate myself up.

I mean, I'm hosting a party.

What does she expect me to do,
hang from the chandelier?

- Here you go.
- I'm drinking Tito's

'cause they don't have gin.
- Are you chewing gum?

- We went to Wolffer today.
- You cannot be chewing gum.

- No, I'm not, Ramona.
- Good.

- All right, I'm gonna
go drown myself in the pool.

I swallowed the gum.

- [ laughs ]
- And now it's burning

in my... 'cause it's, like,
spearmint,

and it's burning in my neck.

Her eyes scared the hell
out of me.

I just saw, like, this, and then
I just swallowed the gum.

Like, oh, my God!

She just scolded me, and I felt
like she was a schoolteacher.

This is not, like,
the royal family over here.

Do you know what I mean?

- We have a new girlfriend,
who's lovely... Leah.

I think she's a classy girl.

She just doesn't look classy,
and I told her that last night.

- I think she's quite lovely.

- Yeah, yeah.
- She's a beauty, but she...

She looks kinda
rough on the edges.

- I hope she's not listening.
Where is she?

- I think she knows...
- She may not be listening,

but she's gonna hear it.
- [ laughs ]

- She knows we care about her.
We made it clear.

- 10 years. Long time for me
in a house.

- Yeah. Too long, right?
- Too big. Too big.

- Hi! How are ya?
- Ramona!

- [ speaks indistinctly ]
- Hello.

- Thank you for allowing me
to host tonight.

I mean, this is, like,
an ugly night and this is...

This house is...
- It's a beautiful night.

- First of all...

Well, 'cause you're here.
- Oh. Okay.

- And we're here
in your beautiful home.

And I love the dual fireplaces.
I mean...

- I little those for you.
- Oh.

- [ chuckles ]
- Well, light my fire.

[ both laugh ]

- You know,
it is a little bit weird

to see Joe Farrell again,
honestly.

I think Joe and Ramona,
actually,

would make a good couple.

She's battin' her lashes,
and he seems to be into it.

- [ speaks indistinctly ]

- You're insane.

I mean...

Joe is a nice, older gentleman,

but men get to, you know,
be short and unattractive

and still have women running
after them if they have money.

You know, this is
the world we live in.

[ laughs ]
- Did you go downstairs?

- You wanna show me downstairs?
- Got a basketball court.

It's insane, this house.
- All right.

- There's no house like this.

- Uh, sparkling, please.

You know, it's really hard to be
at a party like this

and not drink.

The bar is there.
Everybody's drinking.

And it's kinda stiff,
this party.

Thank you so much. - Enjoy.

- I was really hoping
that Leah could be

a good wingman for me
and not drinking,

but that's not happening,

and so I feel like I lost
my sober companion.

- All right, listen.
- I love this yellow on you.

- I want... I've been
in Joe's house a few times.

- Oh, have you? A few times?
- But I want you to see it.

- Oh, I would love to see it.
- So we're gonna do a tour.

Let's go.
- Maybe we've been in this house

a few times on our own backs.
- [ laughing ]

- Sonja, come on.
- This is...

This is really
the best room in the house.

If you think this is nice,
this is the coolest.

- Oh, wow. There's a bowling
alley. That's pretty cool.

- Oh, my God! Ohh! Look at this.

Holy [bleep]! Oh, my God!

- Don't get your panties
all wet.

- Tinsley's gonna piss.

- I think your panties are
all wet right now, Sonja.

- Yeah! I think Tinsley's gonna
get... [ speaks indistinctly ]

- I think they're Niagara Falls
right now.

- [ imitates explosion ]
Holy [bleep].

You look so hot right now.

Oh, my... I do like
your magenta pants.

- Yeah, the house made me
hotter, right?

- Oh, my God!

- The house made you real hot.
- Oh, yeah.

- Exhibit A.

I rest my case.

- They're touring the basement,
if you want to go see it.

- Oh, they're doing a tour?
- Yeah.

- I wanna see that.
I would love to see that.

- You know what I don't like?
I don't like touring houses.

- What?
- I think it's tacky.

- Well, they're already
down here.

- That's a very American thing.

- [ laughing ] [ thud ]

- [bleep].
I can't do it in heels.

I know.
- That was a gutter ball.

- How are you?
- Quit while you're ahead.

[ kisses cheek ]
- How's it going?

Good. Good to see you.
- Hi. Dorinda.

- We know each other.
- Nice to meet you.

Beautiful home. - Thank you.

I love all the woodwork
and stuff.

I have an old Stanford White
house, so I appreciate wood.

- My God, you guys are bowling?
I love bowling.

- I lived in London for
10 years with a British husband.

I think that I am very sensitive
to things very American.

- When you're invited to
a home in London,

they don't take you
to the basement

and to every single toilet
and loo in the house.

It's generally held to
the living room, dining room,

and maybe kitchen. Maybe.

- Did you ever see that before
in a house?

- No! [ laughs ]
- Look what it says.

- "Stuck on
your pleasure palace."

- It's hard to bowl in heels.

[bleep].

- Yes! Yes! [ pins clatter ]

- Oh, my God, Luann!
[ cheers and applause ]

- [ laughs ]
- That's amazing.

- Almost!
- That's amazing!

- Oh, my God.
- You're good!

- All right, girls,
it's 10,000 square feet.

Let's keep going. - Oh!

Will we measure the moment
by feet?

- We got a long night,
so just...

- Why don't they have
a short night?

- What's Ramona doing?

- This is a half-pipe for
the kids inside

if it's raining out.
- Oh, my God.

- We have an outside half-pipe.

- Are you kidding me?
- I don't like touring other...

- Oh, I hate touring houses.
Pfft. By the way,

does this guy really know her?

Who is he?!
Does he care about her?

We do! - Exactly.

- There's
a world-class DJ booth.

- Are... a DJ booth?

- Major. It goes all over
the house, cameras.

- Are you serious?

- They can see all over
when they're DJ'ing.

They can DJ in the house.
- [ whispers ] Wow!

- I don't think
he's interested in Ramona

because she wants to be banged
a lot and hard.

- What?
- Do I put my...

Do I put my straps on?
- Just hold on.

- Hold on. You ready, baby?
- Yeah, baby. Are you ready?

- Oh, my God.
- Aah! I feel like a sexy...

- Hold on, Ramona!
- Oh, [bleep]! What's going on?

- Whoo!
- Whoo!

- Hi babe!
- How are you?

- Oh, my God,
you're really tall.

- Do I what? Hey, girl.

- Elyse has been around
this group a long time.

She was married to, um,
a very famous hedge fund guy.

She was a girl about town,
just like all of us were.

All those girls make it happen
in New York City.

God, this is cute.
- Thank you. This is...

- Very cute. What is it?

- This is
very, very old Cavalli.

- Oh, I could stay here
all night.

Hot tub, massage.
Hot tub, massage.

Hey, you wanna keep me kept?
Right here.

I can be your prison... You know
how they say men like...

- Do I wanna keep you captive?

- Do you get to buy clothes
with your husband?

- Conservative.
- [ speaks indistinctly ]

- You're... you're a smart woman.
You're an investor.

You're very intelligent.

But when I married my husband,
he would force me to buy clothes

and I would get so embarrassed.

- You were his accessory.

���

- Coming up...

- Party's over. Let's go.

- The party's not over.
You're over.

- [ laughs ]

- When I married my husband, he
would force me to buy clothes,

and I would get so embarrassed.

- You were his accessory.

- No, no, no. Don't say that.

- I do know you.
- Why are you saying that?

- I was not an accessory.
I was a partner with my husband!

- You know what?
- A partner!

- I remember you...
- You know me!

Why are you saying that?!
- I do know you.

- Sonja...
- Why are you saying that?!

I am a boss bitch.

- Sonja! You're ng this,
and you need to do this.

- No, you need
to clap, clap, clap!

- Let's just... let's just go.
- You don't wanna be

in the drama? - No.

- Why did you say that
about me?! Take it back!

I was not an accessory
to my husband.

We were partners.

No! [ speaking indistinctly ]

- What do you wanna do now?
- I was never a trophy wife.

- Listen.
- Take... that... back!

- I take it back.
- Take it back! [ kisses ]

- I take it back.
- Take it back!

- Tell me, what...
- She was a trophy.

You were a trophy wife, not me!
- How was I a trophy wife

to Topper?!
- You were a trophy wife!

- To Topper?
My high school sweetheart?

Who the hell are you
talking about?

Yeah, exactly.
Cool your jets over there...

- Because it was
the early years!

- I'm going upstairs.

I met Topper at boarding school,
and he is my same age.

She was a hostess at
a restaurant,

when she met her husband,
and he was, like, 100.

That's the definition
of a trophy wife.

- I'm not arm candy!
- You know?

I don't shave my pussy!
- [ gasps ]

- Can you stop screaming?
- I don't shave my legs.

- Oh, my God, you're driving...
Stop screaming.

Sonja is drunk,

but I don't think Elyse should
be talking about

being an accessory to a man.

It is no one's business
to pass judgment

on who and what role we played

in our husband
or partner's lives.

- Oh, I can't take
the screaming. I'm going up.

- I know. Why is she...
[ speaks indistinctly ]?

- She's off the rails.
- Why?

- What did she drink at lunch?
- I don't know.

- I came home, had a cup
of coffee, and went to sleep.

She shouldn't have kept
drinking. She peaked too soon.

- She's gonna be out
like a light.

- Either that or it's gonna be
a disaster area.

Batten down the hatches.
- Batten down the hatches.

- Hi there again!
- Hi again.

- This is my new best friend
Eddie.

���

- If anybody told me that
I'd be spending the weekend

at Ramona's house a year ago,
I would say,

"You're out of your mind."
- [ laughs ]

Even my kids are like,
"Where? What?"

- That's funny.
- I left my beautiful house

to stay in a basement...
- That's funny.

- ...that smells like dog piss
with spiders.

- No wonder why
you were there earlier.

- You see what I do
for you guys? I mean...

- Yeah.
- Unbelievable.

And, you know, there's also
a fridge down there

with lots to drink in it.
[ chuckles ]

Believe me, I checked.

- Get in! Get in!
Go sir with your friend.

- You keep pushing me off.

- Sit with your friend.
- I wanna sit with you.

- Sit with your friend
with the diamond bracelet.

Sit with your rich friends
with the diamond bracelets.

- Stop labeling my friends.

I love Ramona,
I love her friends,

but I just think she's treating
us friends like [bleep],

Like we're chicken liver.

- No, Ramona loves us.
- Chopped liver!

You're chopped liver,
but I don't think

you're chopped liver but you
think you're chopped liver.

- Chopped liver.
- You know, when Sonja

acts like this, there's
no wonder why she's not invited

to certain events and parties.

- Thank you for feeding me.
- Bread! We need bread!

[ laughter ] Bread in the house!

- I'm not impressed
with your rich friends.

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, she's on a roll.

Oh, boy.
- I got more money in the bank

than any of 'em.
- She's on a roll!

- Hi!
- Hi!

- How are you?
- We're good.

This guy, I think he wants
to have sex with me. It's great.

- Who wouldn't wanna have
sex with you?

- Well...
- Now how old are you?

24? 27? How old is he?

- I like him. He doesn't care
I have a gas pocket.

He doesn't care
I'm friends with Ramona.

That's my kinda friend.

- Watching Sonja basically
eye [bleep] this dude

is the best part
of this whole party.

I'm wondering,
if he has any tattoos,

is she's gonna say,
"Never mind!"

I have a feeling no.

-No, she's going.

Yeah, bring her a club soda.
We'll add to this.

- I just need to see
your driver's license,

and we're good to go. - Justin.

- Men love my vagina.

I got an amazing vagina.

- [ laughs ]
- It's just amazing.

- Hey, girls.
What happening over here?

- How's your pussy?
- How's my pussy?

Wait a second. Let me check.

- Whoo! [ laughter ]

- Um... it's all still there.

- She just stole the show.
- It's all good.

- Yeah, you did, you did.

- [ speaks indistinctly ]
- You stole the show.

So we're not
gettin' laid tonight?

- We're not getting laid,
so let's go.

- It's not happening.

- [ speaks indistinctly ]
- No! No, no, no.

- Can we order pizzas
at the house?

- Pizzas!
- You wanna order pizza?

Are you hungry? - Pizza!

- All right. Hey, hey, hey.
- All right.

- Pursuing that, yeah.
- Well, I...

- Good to see you.
- Not only is she entertaining,

but she's embarrassing.

- Ramona's a party popper.
- Party pooper or...

- Pooper.
- He's afraid of you.

[ laughter ]

- And now we get to leave!
[ laughs ]

- Party's over. Let's go.

- The party's not over.
You're over!

Who are you? - How are you?

- Belly to belly! Who are we?
- [ laughs ]

- Who are we? Who are you?

- Um... doesn't matter.

-You're so handsome.

- You're gorgeous!

Let's, um... - That's William.

William's married.
He's got a baby. Come on.

He's got a baby. [ laughs ]

- Hey. I love you.
- I love you.

- Sonja is off the charts.

It's truly like Godzilla
has been let loose,

and Godzilla is drunk.

Drunk!

- Luann, we gotta go.
We gotta wrap it up.

- Luann! We gotta go!
- [ speaks indistinctly ]

- [ speaks indistinctly ]
- Come on. Tinsley, let's go!

Let's go! Move it!
- Tinsley, come on!

- Okay. Okay. All right.
- Let's go.

- Thank you.
- Round 'em up! Round 'em up!

Let's go! I'm getting
...ing loud, though.

- My friends really...
[ speaks indistinctly ]

- Oh!
- Go!

- Oh, my God, the wind!
- I don't wanna...

- Stay there.
- Aah!

- I wanna be with a guy.
- Stay there.

- Oh, my God, it's so windy.
- I want that guy.

- No, you're not.
- [ shouts indistinctly ]

- Aah!
- Careful! Careful!

- No, you're not.
- [ speaks indistinctly ]

You're getting' between
me and my vagina.

- Stop it!
- [bleep] bossy bitch.

- I don't know why
she does this to herself.

- [ speaks indistinctly ]
- Or to us.

Go, hot driver!
- Let me have your drink.

I could've [bleep] that guy.

- Coming up...

- Ramona? We have a problem.

- Luann's left and written

a really out-of-control text.

���

���

-Uh-oh.

- Ramona? Can I come in?

We have a problem.

- Luann's left and written
a really out-of-control text.

- Well, you know,
I saw a car pull out,

and I thought someone
stole my car.

- Want to read it?
- Sure.

But read it slow and softly.

- I'm CC'd, so I-I don't know
why I'm CC'd.

She writes, "Thank you
for your hospitality, Ramona.

"This is not
the fish room, part 2.

"I live in a town
you drive to every day

"because it's the best,
and I have an amazing home.

"I come to you
and what do I get?

"Share the bathroom with someone
I don't, or the basement

"filled with spiders
and the smell of dog piss.

"I'm shocked that I'm always
the lowest on the totem pole.

Good night
from the lower level."

- I asked her what... if she wanted
the room downstairs,

the main floor or that.

I don't know
what she's upset about.

I think she just said all that
'cause she just wanted

to go home and not be here.

- Just come up and say,
"You know what?

I don't wanna be down there.
It makes me feel lonely."

Luann always seems to have
a issue with the room.

Vermont...

- I come here.
I just got married.

I came all the way
from Palm Beach.

Nobody was thoughtful
and gave me, like, a nice room.

- Great Barrington...

- Did you ever hear
of the saying,

"It's the thought...
It's the thought that counts"?

- I know, and you have
a beautiful room.

That room is like... I probably...

No, you have
an empty room tonight

'cause Madame Bethenny
is coming tomorrow,

and you're saving that room
for her, who's coming tomorrow.

Ramona's house.

There seems to be a theme
going on here.

[ line rings ]

she's not gonna pick up.

- At the tone,
please record your message

or press "1" for more options.

- [ whispers ] Careful what
you say. Careful.

[ beep ]
[ whispers indistinctly ]

- Lu? It's Ramona.

Um, I hope you got home safe.

Um, but most importantly,
I'm sorry that you felt

isolated and... and I'm sorry
that I wasn't being more aware

of how you were feeling.

I was more concerned
on the superficial things,

all that other bullsh...

What's really important
is for us to bond together,

and I made you feel separate
from everyone,

and I'm sorry for that.

I never meant to make you feel
low, on the bottom...

Low on the... - [ coughs ]

- I never get my...
- Totem pole.

- Low on the totem pole.

Please come back over here.

Let me think of a way
I can make it up to you.

- [ whispers ] Wrap it up.

Anyway, all the best.
Call me back.

Bye, bye, bye.
[ cellphone beeps ]

No, she felt rejected. - Yeah.

- I get that. You know what?
I can understand that.

I never would ever want Luann
to feel badly about this.

But I really wasn't
thinking clear

'cause I had eight girls,
and I'm cooking and I'm cleaning

and I'm shopping,
and it's really a lot, okay?

So I [bleep] up.

[ cellphone vibrates ]

���

- Oh, God. Where's my phone?

[ Marley yips ]
Who's a good boy?

Oh, my goodness.
What happened last night?

I think I had a great time.

Look at you.
You look fresh as a daisy.

- Look at you.
- Oh, I'm a wreck.

- What happened?
- I should've put you...

You always sleep in my room.

[ speaks indistinctly ]
when she said,

"Ramona, I'm sleeping with you."
[ speaks indistinctly ]

I wasn't thinking. - Oh, yeah.

- You weren't thinking.
- Right.

- And now Luann felt neglected.
- Did she leave?

- Yes! She left at 1:00
in the morning!

- What?!
- Yes!

- W.T.F!
- Yes, she left!

Luann was humbled by her
probation for about 10 seconds.

But once you put her
in the basement,

or as Ramona says,
the lower level,

that's just not good enough
for Luann.

"Thank you
for your hospitality. Ramona!"

- It's not always about you.
This is about you.

"You proclaim you love me,
but I know that's not true.

Good night
from the lower level"!

- Oh, my God. [ laughs ]

- Let's go see the basement.

I wanna see the dog piss
and the spiders.

Let's go.

- This is where I-I put Luann.

- Just like a party palace.

This is great.
- I like that you have

your own TV area.
- I'm gonna scream!

- And look,
these are real flowers.

- And they were real flowers!
- And she thought they were fake.

- Oh, my God! They're real!

- Does Luann not wanna sleep in
Ramona's guest room,

or does Luann just wanna
be home?

I mean, is there a bed?
Is there a pillow?

Is there television?
It's enough!

The most comfortable couch ever.

- It's so huge,
you can just hang out here.

We should maybe watch a movie.

- Did you get it
at Crate & Barrel?

[ cellphone rings ]
- Shh! Shh! Hello?

Don't answer the phone. Don't...
[ speaks indistinctly ]

- Hey, Lu.

���

- Next time on...

Round... one!

- Ah!
- Whoa!

- Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

- We're here to groom Marley,
Sonja's dog.

- You're gonna groom Marley?
- Yeah.

- Just, uh, hold on one sec.

Dog groomer? Really?

I'd like to be groomed.
[ laughs ]

Oh, my God. This is amazing.

Do you make house calls? - Yeah.

- Aah!
- Whoa!

- You drink it!

There's vodka in there.
- Ah, it's all right.

- As long as she's drinking
around me, I feel like

she's not gonna go off
the deep end.

- Yeah!

Let's rock this!

- Whatever!
I don't give a [bleep].

1985 is gone! It's over!

- [ screaming ]

- don't get all socialite
with me!

- Why does she care?

- I think I'm gonna go.

- Get your asses down here!

- What is this?

- This is my home!
- Yes.

- There's a vibrator
in the chicken.

- Oh, no!

- For more
on the "Real Housewives,"

Subtitles Diego Moraes(oakislandtk)
www.opensubtitles.org