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1
00:00:11,824 --> 00:00:13,826
Who are these kids?
2
00:00:15,745 --> 00:00:19,040
- What kids?
- In this picture.
3
00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:23,628
I don't know.
I thought you put them up.
4
00:00:24,379 --> 00:00:25,964
No...
5
00:00:26,130 --> 00:00:29,509
Well, they probably came in
a Christmas card or something.
6
00:00:33,596 --> 00:00:35,974
They don't even look familiar.
7
00:00:36,182 --> 00:00:37,642
Nope.
8
00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:41,604
They look happy, though.
The boy's got the little car in there.
9
00:00:41,813 --> 00:00:43,815
Yeah, they seem nice.
10
00:00:44,816 --> 00:00:47,610
- Okay, let's throw them out.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
11
00:00:47,819 --> 00:00:50,613
- You can't throw out kids.
- Why not?
12
00:00:50,822 --> 00:00:52,407
What if their parents come by?
13
00:00:52,615 --> 00:00:54,659
So we have to keep a picture
up on our refrigerator
14
00:00:54,826 --> 00:00:57,328
of kids we don't know
in the off-chance that their parents
15
00:00:57,495 --> 00:01:01,374
who we can't remember
will come by and be offended?
16
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:04,460
Are they hurting anyone up there?
17
00:01:06,170 --> 00:01:09,007
Fine. But I'm putting them
under a big magnet.
18
00:01:34,259 --> 00:01:40,259
Sync by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com
19
00:01:47,785 --> 00:01:51,289
Thinking about starting
to use a washcloth.
20
00:01:53,166 --> 00:01:54,834
Carrie got a whole bunch
of new ones.
21
00:01:55,001 --> 00:01:57,587
You know,
I'm usually like a soap-to-skin guy,
22
00:01:57,754 --> 00:01:59,547
but, I don't know, I might go for it.
23
00:01:59,714 --> 00:02:00,923
Good luck with that.
24
00:02:02,967 --> 00:02:04,010
Hey there.
25
00:02:04,177 --> 00:02:06,971
Thought you guys might like a refill
on your iced teas.
26
00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:09,557
I love a waitress
who's on top of the refills.
27
00:02:09,724 --> 00:02:13,061
And on a slightly related note,
I'm gonna go use the restroom.
28
00:02:14,103 --> 00:02:17,815
Well, guess you liked
your potato skins, huh?
29
00:02:17,982 --> 00:02:22,320
Ah, actually, I like any food
that comes in a basket, you know?
30
00:02:22,487 --> 00:02:25,865
That, or anything with one of those,
like, little toothpick flags in it.
31
00:02:26,032 --> 00:02:29,035
I guess what I'm basically saying is
don't take me to a French restaurant.
32
00:02:31,162 --> 00:02:33,873
Can I get you anything else?
Because my shift is almost over.
33
00:02:34,082 --> 00:02:35,375
- No, I'm good.
- Oh, okay.
34
00:02:35,541 --> 00:02:39,096
So I'll just leave the
cheque over here,
35
00:02:39,122 --> 00:02:42,031
and you can stay as
long as you like.
36
00:02:42,115 --> 00:02:43,908
Okay. I'll lock up when I go.
37
00:02:45,718 --> 00:02:47,762
Okay, well, bye.
38
00:02:47,970 --> 00:02:49,597
Bye-bye.
39
00:03:14,914 --> 00:03:16,499
Well...
40
00:03:17,125 --> 00:03:18,167
That was interesting.
41
00:03:18,376 --> 00:03:19,419
What was?
42
00:03:19,585 --> 00:03:22,255
Our waitress just asked me
about your situation.
43
00:03:22,463 --> 00:03:24,424
Nice work, my man.
44
00:03:24,632 --> 00:03:26,192
We better get going,
I gotta get back...
45
00:03:26,342 --> 00:03:28,845
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
46
00:03:30,054 --> 00:03:31,431
What did you just say?
47
00:03:31,597 --> 00:03:33,307
She asked about your situation.
48
00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:35,893
I think she has a little
thing for you. Come on.
49
00:03:36,102 --> 00:03:39,647
Okay, you know what?
First of all, stop getting up.
50
00:03:41,232 --> 00:03:43,568
Now, I want you to tell me
exactly what she said,
51
00:03:43,735 --> 00:03:46,529
and I want you to tell me
very, very slowly.
52
00:03:46,696 --> 00:03:48,281
Okay, okay, fine.
53
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:49,699
She said...
54
00:03:49,866 --> 00:03:52,660
She thought you were cute,
or a cutie and then...
55
00:03:52,869 --> 00:03:54,620
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Which one?
56
00:03:54,829 --> 00:03:57,415
- I don't remember.
- They're very different. Remember.
57
00:03:57,582 --> 00:03:59,292
Cute. She said you were cute.
58
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,878
All right. That's the good one.
59
00:04:02,086 --> 00:04:04,126
Why are you worked up?
You're not gonna do anything.
60
00:04:04,172 --> 00:04:06,215
Of course, I'm not gonna do anything.
61
00:04:06,382 --> 00:04:07,925
What else did she say?
62
00:04:08,551 --> 00:04:10,470
She said you were cute and, oh...
63
00:04:10,636 --> 00:04:13,139
- And funny.
- Cute and funny?
64
00:04:13,306 --> 00:04:16,434
Oh, God,
I'm the whole package for her.
65
00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:18,686
- Can we go now?
- Yeah, we can.
66
00:04:18,853 --> 00:04:21,230
Although she said
I can stay as long as I like...
67
00:04:23,024 --> 00:04:26,235
Look at this, note on the cheque.
We have a note.
68
00:04:26,402 --> 00:04:29,364
Oh, things just keep getting better.
69
00:04:29,947 --> 00:04:32,617
"Baskets rule. Jill."
70
00:04:32,784 --> 00:04:35,828
Yeah, we had this whole little thing
going with baskets.
71
00:04:35,995 --> 00:04:38,206
Sounds magical.
72
00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:45,672
She was working as a waitress
In a cocktail bar
73
00:04:45,838 --> 00:04:48,675
That much is true
74
00:04:48,883 --> 00:04:51,969
Oh, don't you want me?
75
00:04:52,136 --> 00:04:56,224
You know I can't believe it
When you say that you don't need me
76
00:04:56,391 --> 00:04:57,809
Don't you want me
77
00:04:57,975 --> 00:05:01,104
- Hey.
- Well, hello.
78
00:05:01,312 --> 00:05:02,480
I'm on the phone with Kelly.
79
00:05:02,647 --> 00:05:04,482
We're trying to figure out
which movie to see.
80
00:05:04,649 --> 00:05:06,609
You're wearing trousers?
81
00:05:06,776 --> 00:05:07,986
Yeah. Trousers.
82
00:05:08,152 --> 00:05:11,155
Slacks. Fancy pants.
83
00:05:12,615 --> 00:05:14,993
Did you lose all your jeans?
84
00:05:15,201 --> 00:05:17,161
No. Just felt like kicking it
up a notch.
85
00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:18,955
Well, now you're dressed
better than me.
86
00:05:19,122 --> 00:05:22,125
I have to change.
Thank you very much.
87
00:05:22,291 --> 00:05:24,836
Yeah, Kel, hi, I'm
still here, sweetie.
88
00:05:25,044 --> 00:05:27,171
Doug is wearing nice pants.
89
00:05:27,338 --> 00:05:29,590
I know, it's weird.
90
00:05:30,758 --> 00:05:33,177
I don't know, let me ask him.
They wanna see The Prosecutor.
91
00:05:33,386 --> 00:05:35,722
No, I saw it with Spence.
How about Freeze?
92
00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:38,808
What about Freeze?
93
00:05:38,975 --> 00:05:40,935
Well, ask Deacon, I'll hold on.
94
00:05:41,102 --> 00:05:43,563
- Honey, I don't wanna see Freeze.
- Why not?
95
00:05:43,771 --> 00:05:46,024
A whole movie
set in a futuristic ice world?
96
00:05:46,190 --> 00:05:49,527
I'm not into it.
Plus, I don't like Rosie Perez.
97
00:05:50,570 --> 00:05:52,613
Whoa. You wearing cologne?
98
00:05:52,822 --> 00:05:54,741
Yeah, picked some up
on the way home.
99
00:05:54,907 --> 00:05:56,826
Think I'm gonna start
smelling better.
100
00:05:59,454 --> 00:06:01,497
Well, I hope you don't need
to sneak up on anybody.
101
00:06:01,664 --> 00:06:02,790
Hey.
102
00:06:02,957 --> 00:06:05,001
Not nice. Come on.
103
00:06:05,168 --> 00:06:06,544
What is up with you tonight?
104
00:06:06,711 --> 00:06:08,338
What?
Can't a guy be in a good mood?
105
00:06:08,546 --> 00:06:11,382
Handsome man going on a date
with his beautiful wife, huh?
106
00:06:11,549 --> 00:06:14,010
All right, get your groove on.
107
00:06:14,802 --> 00:06:17,597
Yeah, I'm still here. Oh, really?
108
00:06:17,764 --> 00:06:18,806
Deacon saw Freeze.
109
00:06:18,973 --> 00:06:21,809
- So I'll see The Prosecutor again.
- You don't want to see it again.
110
00:06:21,976 --> 00:06:24,312
It's all right,
I'll take a bullet for the group.
111
00:06:25,688 --> 00:06:27,315
Oh, yeah, I'd see that. Okay.
112
00:06:27,482 --> 00:06:29,776
What about Population Zero?
113
00:06:29,942 --> 00:06:32,779
Population, me.
114
00:06:33,404 --> 00:06:35,865
I think he just said yes.
115
00:06:36,032 --> 00:06:37,825
Okay.
We'll meet you at the Midway at 8:00.
116
00:06:37,992 --> 00:06:39,869
Okay, sweetie. Bye.
117
00:06:40,078 --> 00:06:41,621
Good evening.
118
00:06:41,829 --> 00:06:45,166
Well, you kids look nice.
What, are you getting on a plane?
119
00:06:47,585 --> 00:06:48,628
Just going to see a movie.
120
00:06:48,836 --> 00:06:50,004
Ah, the cinema.
121
00:06:50,171 --> 00:06:54,467
America's ongoing love affair
with the motion picture.
122
00:06:55,385 --> 00:06:57,345
Do you?
Do you have any plans, Dad?
123
00:06:57,512 --> 00:06:59,639
Oh, well, I did have plans
with my friend Len,
124
00:06:59,847 --> 00:07:01,599
but he's having chest pains.
125
00:07:01,766 --> 00:07:03,518
On the bright side,
now I have a chance
126
00:07:03,685 --> 00:07:07,480
to put the soy sauce packets
into one larger bottle.
127
00:07:07,647 --> 00:07:09,816
Have a nice night.
128
00:07:10,358 --> 00:07:11,442
Would you like to join us?
129
00:07:11,651 --> 00:07:15,405
Well, this is pretty last minute,
but sure, why not?
130
00:07:15,571 --> 00:07:16,656
What are you seeing?
131
00:07:16,864 --> 00:07:19,534
- Population Zero.
- Seen it.
132
00:07:25,498 --> 00:07:27,250
How you doing?
133
00:07:28,626 --> 00:07:30,420
Hey.
134
00:07:31,254 --> 00:07:33,840
Slow your roll, player.
135
00:07:34,007 --> 00:07:36,300
Why won't you listen to me?
This is a lousy movie.
136
00:07:36,467 --> 00:07:38,094
We're seeing it, Dad.
137
00:07:38,302 --> 00:07:40,763
I'll tell you the surprise ending
right now.
138
00:07:40,972 --> 00:07:43,933
Do it,
and I'll give you a surprise ending.
139
00:07:44,142 --> 00:07:45,935
So noted.
140
00:07:46,686 --> 00:07:48,396
- Babe, you want popcorn?
- Yes, thank you.
141
00:07:48,563 --> 00:07:50,273
We'll get seats.
142
00:07:55,945 --> 00:07:58,990
What you got on? Cologne?
143
00:07:59,157 --> 00:08:02,327
Yeah, it's Drakkar.
It's a citrusy masculine scent.
144
00:08:02,493 --> 00:08:05,747
I know what Drakkar is,
I wore it in high school.
145
00:08:06,497 --> 00:08:07,540
Hey there.
146
00:08:07,707 --> 00:08:12,170
Large pop-corny-corn
and a mineral water, por favor.
147
00:08:15,715 --> 00:08:19,510
All right. Food in a bucket,
you know what I'm saying?
148
00:08:19,719 --> 00:08:21,471
You know.
149
00:08:24,223 --> 00:08:28,311
Well, well, well,
if it isn't Mr. Chest Pains.
150
00:08:28,478 --> 00:08:29,604
What?
151
00:08:29,771 --> 00:08:31,189
The man who couldn't go out tonight
152
00:08:31,356 --> 00:08:33,775
because he had chest pains
is sitting four rows ahead of us.
153
00:08:33,941 --> 00:08:35,610
Excuse me.
154
00:08:35,777 --> 00:08:38,529
All right, take care of business, Dad.
155
00:08:39,238 --> 00:08:41,282
So I heard your boy
got a little compliment today.
156
00:08:42,158 --> 00:08:44,452
Deacon told me
what happened at Cooper's.
157
00:08:44,619 --> 00:08:46,371
- Doug didn't tell you?
- No.
158
00:08:46,579 --> 00:08:49,999
Apparently, some new cute waitress
asked about his situation.
159
00:08:50,208 --> 00:08:51,584
Oh, really?
160
00:08:51,751 --> 00:08:54,879
Oh, so that's why
he's been acting like this.
161
00:08:56,297 --> 00:08:58,257
Okay, Trouser Man...
162
00:08:59,467 --> 00:09:02,053
He claims he felt better
and he tried to call me.
163
00:09:03,054 --> 00:09:04,972
Like I'm supposed to believe that.
164
00:09:05,181 --> 00:09:07,183
Lenny. Enjoy the movie.
165
00:09:07,350 --> 00:09:09,915
By the way, the lab chief
turns out to be a robot,
166
00:09:09,941 --> 00:09:11,963
and the bomb is inside him.
167
00:09:12,146 --> 00:09:14,816
- Oh, come on.
- Shut up.
168
00:09:17,276 --> 00:09:18,319
Hey...
169
00:09:18,486 --> 00:09:19,779
Hey. Here you go, sweetie.
170
00:09:19,946 --> 00:09:21,197
Thanks.
171
00:09:21,406 --> 00:09:25,576
- Here you are, sweet thing.
- No, you're the sweet thing.
172
00:09:25,743 --> 00:09:27,161
What's up? No candy?
173
00:09:27,328 --> 00:09:30,415
No, I just got a mineral water.
I'm gonna try and drop a few.
174
00:09:32,709 --> 00:09:34,877
Good for you.
175
00:09:38,089 --> 00:09:45,304
In war, sometimes the first to die
are the ones who least deserve to...
176
00:09:45,888 --> 00:09:50,810
My baby... My baby!
177
00:09:53,479 --> 00:09:57,483
Doug. A baby just exploded.
178
00:09:57,650 --> 00:09:59,235
Why are you smiling?
179
00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:01,738
Oh, no, no.
I'm not, I'm not. It's sad.
180
00:10:04,615 --> 00:10:06,159
Kill me too.
181
00:10:06,326 --> 00:10:10,872
Kill me too, you bastards.
182
00:10:20,677 --> 00:10:22,387
How was that?
183
00:10:22,929 --> 00:10:25,140
It was fantastic.
184
00:10:27,976 --> 00:10:29,686
What the hell's that for?
185
00:10:29,894 --> 00:10:32,439
Kelly told me about
your little thing with the waitress.
186
00:10:32,606 --> 00:10:34,232
Were you planning on telling me?
187
00:10:34,441 --> 00:10:37,819
I don't know, why?
You're not jealous, are you?
188
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,822
No. It has nothing to do
with the girl, it's you.
189
00:10:40,989 --> 00:10:44,200
Obviously, this thing has turned
your whole world upside down.
190
00:10:44,409 --> 00:10:45,702
What? It has not.
191
00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:48,955
Oh, please. The nice pants,
the cologne, the great sex.
192
00:10:50,373 --> 00:10:52,834
First of all,
the sex was not that good.
193
00:10:53,752 --> 00:10:55,337
- You were great.
- I disagree.
194
00:10:55,503 --> 00:10:56,671
- Doug.
- Look, I was...
195
00:10:56,838 --> 00:10:58,715
My moves were clumsy,
I was all over the place,
196
00:10:58,882 --> 00:11:00,342
I was out of control.
197
00:11:00,508 --> 00:11:04,429
How you got any pleasure
out of it is a complete mystery.
198
00:11:04,638 --> 00:11:08,600
Come on, you were good, just admit it.
Just admit that you were good.
199
00:11:09,309 --> 00:11:11,895
All right, I was all right.
I was good.
200
00:11:14,230 --> 00:11:15,828
Look, I don't feel
like I have anything
201
00:11:15,854 --> 00:11:17,092
to apologise for here, Carrie.
202
00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:18,902
All right, a woman
was attracted to me.
203
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:21,112
You know I would never act on it.
So what?
204
00:11:21,279 --> 00:11:22,656
It made me feel good about myself,
205
00:11:22,822 --> 00:11:25,200
I slapped on some cologne
and made you wake the neighbours.
206
00:11:25,367 --> 00:11:26,451
Big deal.
207
00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:28,328
Doug, how do you think
that makes me feel?
208
00:11:28,495 --> 00:11:30,622
I mean, I'm attracted to you.
209
00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:32,082
I married you, I...
210
00:11:32,249 --> 00:11:34,501
I promised to love you
until the day I die.
211
00:11:34,668 --> 00:11:36,419
Why doesn't any of that
make you walk around
212
00:11:36,586 --> 00:11:38,255
with a stupid grin on your face?
213
00:11:38,463 --> 00:11:40,173
Because you're already a given.
You know?
214
00:11:40,382 --> 00:11:46,096
You know, you're already part of the
wonderful tapestry that is my life.
215
00:11:46,304 --> 00:11:48,223
So that's what I am. I'm tapestry.
216
00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:51,017
No, no, no, tapestry is good.
217
00:11:51,184 --> 00:11:53,561
It's woven. On a loom.
218
00:11:53,728 --> 00:11:57,107
You know, a loom, you understand?
Loom.
219
00:11:57,691 --> 00:11:59,526
No, I don't understand, Doug.
220
00:11:59,734 --> 00:12:02,445
I mean, you don't see me acting
like this, and believe me, I could.
221
00:12:02,612 --> 00:12:04,364
I mean, strangers check me out
all the time.
222
00:12:04,531 --> 00:12:06,866
I get my ass touched
on the subway every day.
223
00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:10,829
Well, then, you should wash
your ass when you get home.
224
00:12:12,872 --> 00:12:16,918
Okay, my point is,
it has no effect on me.
225
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,796
Yeah, that's because
it happens to you all the time.
226
00:12:19,963 --> 00:12:22,465
I never get my ass
touched on the subway.
227
00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:23,717
Well, you know what?
228
00:12:23,883 --> 00:12:27,095
Hello, got my ass touched
on the subway of life.
229
00:12:27,262 --> 00:12:28,972
And it is a big deal to me.
230
00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:30,223
Fine. You know what?
231
00:12:30,390 --> 00:12:34,185
If a stupid little comment from some
bimbo waitress gets you all revved up,
232
00:12:34,352 --> 00:12:35,520
then God bless.
233
00:12:35,729 --> 00:12:37,772
Oh, I see how it works.
Because it's me,
234
00:12:37,939 --> 00:12:40,567
it's just gotta be some stupid
little comment, right?
235
00:12:40,734 --> 00:12:43,778
Yeah? Well, then why'd she take
the time to leave a note, huh?
236
00:12:43,945 --> 00:12:46,990
- A note?
- Yeah, on the cheque. Yeah, note.
237
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:49,910
And what did this little note say?
238
00:12:50,076 --> 00:12:52,162
Way to eat?
239
00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:54,606
No. You're way off.
240
00:12:54,773 --> 00:12:57,108
It said, "Baskets rule. Jill."
241
00:12:57,275 --> 00:12:59,528
Then, she drew a little smiley face.
242
00:12:59,736 --> 00:13:04,533
A smiley face?
That mean Jill happy.
243
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,829
Know what? I don't wanna talk
about this anymore.
244
00:13:08,995 --> 00:13:11,331
If you can't be supportive
about another woman liking me,
245
00:13:11,498 --> 00:13:13,625
then this conversation's over.
246
00:13:15,335 --> 00:13:16,503
Fine. You know what?
247
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:20,549
Go out there and get your little
compliments and your smiley faces.
248
00:13:20,715 --> 00:13:22,217
You know what? Enjoy them.
249
00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:25,053
Why don't you start dressing
a little bit more provocatively, huh?
250
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,097
- Show a little cleavage there.
- Maybe I will.
251
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:28,306
- Great.
- You know what?
252
00:13:28,473 --> 00:13:29,850
I'm a delicious piece of man meat,
253
00:13:30,016 --> 00:13:32,811
and you're just gonna have
to learn to deal with it.
254
00:13:35,355 --> 00:13:37,357
I'm electric.
255
00:13:42,362 --> 00:13:44,739
- Man, what are we doing back here?
- What?
256
00:13:44,906 --> 00:13:47,117
Getting burgers, gonna watch
the Florida-Nebraska game,
257
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:49,286
that's what we're doing here.
258
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:52,747
Is she working today?
259
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:56,501
I don't know.
I didn't make this week's schedule.
260
00:13:56,668 --> 00:13:58,837
Here we go. Showtime.
261
00:13:59,504 --> 00:14:00,672
Yeah...
262
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,719
I think I'm going for the ribs.
263
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,680
Yeah, you going for the ribs?
You gonna do the ribs?
264
00:14:08,847 --> 00:14:11,308
You doing the ribbies.
265
00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:12,893
You're gonna do the ribs. The ribs.
266
00:14:13,059 --> 00:14:15,520
Give me a little high-five
on the rib-eye.
267
00:14:16,062 --> 00:14:17,898
You wanna high-five ribs?
268
00:14:18,106 --> 00:14:21,276
No. I don't wanna high-five ribs.
269
00:14:24,571 --> 00:14:27,449
Yo, Steve, what's up, man? Stevie.
You freak show, what are you doing?
270
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,159
What, you drinking beer over there?
271
00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:31,536
- I have those pants too.
- Hey, Doug.
272
00:14:31,703 --> 00:14:33,288
I have the same... Hey there.
273
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,706
Hey. I'll be right with you.
274
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:38,126
Right with you? That's all I get?
It's like I'm just a customer.
275
00:14:39,127 --> 00:14:40,879
You are just a customer.
276
00:14:41,087 --> 00:14:44,007
- She asked about my situation.
- And I told her you were married.
277
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,800
Excuse me? Am I not still cute?
278
00:14:45,967 --> 00:14:47,469
Am I not still funny?
279
00:14:48,011 --> 00:14:50,430
I'm sorry to make you wait, guys,
but it's crazy here today.
280
00:14:50,597 --> 00:14:52,974
- What can I get you?
- I'll have the ribs and a Coke.
281
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:54,226
Okay. And for you?
282
00:14:54,392 --> 00:14:56,686
I'll have a burger and fries and...
283
00:14:56,895 --> 00:14:58,647
Hey, well,
make sure it comes in a basket.
284
00:14:58,855 --> 00:14:59,940
- Oh, yeah, right.
- Right.
285
00:15:00,148 --> 00:15:03,193
Remember, because baskets rule.
They rule.
286
00:15:08,156 --> 00:15:09,908
I don't get this...
287
00:15:10,116 --> 00:15:12,077
- What did you expect to happen?
- I don't know.
288
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,538
Carrie was just so...
about the whole thing,
289
00:15:14,704 --> 00:15:16,248
like no hot girl
could ever be into me.
290
00:15:16,414 --> 00:15:18,708
That I just wanted
to come down here and...
291
00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:20,001
And what?
292
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:22,546
I don't know, prove to myself
that I still got the juice.
293
00:15:22,712 --> 00:15:24,881
The heat. The Yuspa.
294
00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:31,263
Okay. Now, she's laughing
with an ugly guy.
295
00:15:31,429 --> 00:15:33,473
What the hell's this crap about?
296
00:15:37,519 --> 00:15:40,355
- Hey, whoa, where are you going?
- See if he got a note, that's all.
297
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:43,567
Hey, man, did you get?
298
00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:46,653
You get overcharged for your soda?
Because we did, and...
299
00:15:47,195 --> 00:15:50,615
"Happy mozzarella trails. Jill."
300
00:15:50,782 --> 00:15:52,826
Note slut.
301
00:15:57,038 --> 00:15:58,123
Okay...
302
00:15:58,331 --> 00:16:01,877
Which one of these skankeroos
do you think is Jill?
303
00:16:02,043 --> 00:16:08,300
I cannot wait to see this winner,
she's gonna be brutal.
304
00:16:09,676 --> 00:16:11,428
- Maybe that's her.
- No, that's not her.
305
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:12,804
She's been here for a while.
306
00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:15,682
Although she is a skankeroo.
307
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,352
What about her? Her?
308
00:16:19,519 --> 00:16:22,522
Hello? We can see your panty lines.
309
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:27,277
Little tip, invest in a full length
mirror. And turn around in it.
310
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,487
Stop it.
311
00:16:28,653 --> 00:16:32,032
I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
Hi, I'm Jill.
312
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,993
Wow, you are really attractive.
313
00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:38,705
Oh, thank you.
Are you guys ready to order?
314
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:41,666
No, don't think we are, Jill.
315
00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:45,462
Why don't you write someone a note
with a little smiley face on it,
316
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:47,631
and then maybe I'll be ready, okay?
317
00:16:47,839 --> 00:16:51,426
Okay. Just let me know.
318
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,596
Wow, did you see
the attitude on that one?
319
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:57,891
Out of control.
320
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,102
I actually thought
she was pretty sweet.
321
00:17:01,853 --> 00:17:05,982
Sweet, huh? Oh, I see she's cast
her little spell on you too now?
322
00:17:06,149 --> 00:17:07,526
Girl, you gotta stop now...
323
00:17:07,734 --> 00:17:09,174
What? I... No, I don't need to stop.
324
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:10,779
- I am fine.
- You are not fine.
325
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:12,906
You're right, I'm not fine.
Why am I not fine?
326
00:17:13,114 --> 00:17:15,534
Not sure. You know that Doug's
not gonna fool around, right?
327
00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:18,954
- No, of course not.
- So, what is it?
328
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:22,499
Everything was fine
until he got checked out.
329
00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:25,085
Why did he have
to get checked out?
330
00:17:25,293 --> 00:17:26,545
Why is that such a problem?
331
00:17:26,753 --> 00:17:30,173
Because, you know, Doug was
always like, the funny one, you know.
332
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:32,175
The guy who makes everybody
laugh at parties.
333
00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:33,885
And I was the one
who got checked out.
334
00:17:34,052 --> 00:17:37,764
Now he's getting checked out too?
I mean, he's got it all.
335
00:17:39,432 --> 00:17:42,102
So you're unhappy because
your husband is funny and hot?
336
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:45,564
Yes.
337
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:53,488
Douglas, hello.
338
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,198
Hey.
339
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:57,576
Why so glum, chum?
340
00:18:00,495 --> 00:18:01,621
Long story.
341
00:18:01,788 --> 00:18:06,209
Well, fortunately, I have nowhere to
be for the next eight and a half days.
342
00:18:10,797 --> 00:18:12,048
I'm just an idiot.
343
00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:15,093
Some waitress asked
about my situation,
344
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:19,556
so for a day I was walking around here
like I was hot crap.
345
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:23,310
Ah, it's a powerful tonic
when a member of the fairer sex
346
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:27,647
casts an admiring glance
in your direction.
347
00:18:29,065 --> 00:18:30,984
Big knockers?
348
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:46,541
Well, don't feel too badly, Douglas.
The same thing happened to me once.
349
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,294
- Really?
- Sure.
350
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,837
Many years ago, I was at a party
351
00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:54,591
where I encountered
a beautiful young starlet.
352
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:58,553
She had just finished shooting Picnic
with William Holden.
353
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:03,141
She played Girl With Watermelon.
354
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,437
I think you know
who I'm talking about.
355
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,149
I'm sorry, I have no idea.
356
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:15,695
Oh, you'll know when I say the name,
Phyllis McCrane.
357
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,325
Still nothing.
358
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,830
One of the McCrane Sisters?
359
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,707
Oh, yeah, Phyllis and the other one.
360
00:19:27,874 --> 00:19:30,126
- The other two.
- The other two. Right, right.
361
00:19:30,293 --> 00:19:32,796
Well, anyway, it seemed
as though Phyllis was flirting with me
362
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,173
throughout the entire party.
363
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:38,343
- Yeah, but she wasn't?
- Oh, she certainly was.
364
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:43,557
We wound up making love in
her beach house till the sun came up.
365
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:44,933
Why are you telling me this?
366
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,685
That's not close
to what happened to me.
367
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,855
Hey, just because you whiffed,
don't take it out on me.
368
00:20:02,742 --> 00:20:04,327
Hey, sexy.
369
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:05,829
Yeah, I am, okay.
370
00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:07,497
What exactly
about me does it for you?
371
00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:09,749
What lights you up?
What is it?
372
00:20:09,916 --> 00:20:12,252
That I can burp on command
373
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:15,422
or the way my stomach jiggles
when I brush my teeth?
374
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:23,346
- What happened to you?
- You were right, you know.
375
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,640
I was back down at Cooper's
376
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,517
and that waitress
wouldn't even look at me.
377
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:29,561
She couldn't have cared less.
378
00:20:29,769 --> 00:20:33,732
I got no heat, I got no juice,
I got nothing.
379
00:20:33,940 --> 00:20:36,234
- Doug, I wasn't right.
- You were.
380
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:38,028
No, I was wrong.
381
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,614
Look, I bet the only reason
why Jill isn't into you anymore
382
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:42,199
is because
she knows you're married.
383
00:20:42,365 --> 00:20:43,783
You're off the market.
384
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,370
Yeah. Doug, you are hot.
385
00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:50,123
People ask about you all the time.
386
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:53,543
- Like who?
- A secretary from my office.
387
00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:55,504
Andrea?
388
00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:57,506
No. Jeff.
389
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:02,385
What?
390
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,471
- Jeff?
- Yes.
391
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:08,391
Gay people have great taste,
they're very body conscious.
392
00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:10,310
It's all about the body for them.
393
00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:13,939
That's true.
394
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:16,691
So why don't we both admit
395
00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:21,112
that we got a little carried away
and just move on.
396
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:25,075
Okay, you're right. I love you.
397
00:21:26,117 --> 00:21:27,994
- I love you too, sweetie.
- Come here.
398
00:21:37,420 --> 00:21:38,672
So...
399
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:41,508
What exactly did Jeff say?
400
00:21:47,572 --> 00:21:49,449
You've reached
the McCrane Sisters.
401
00:21:49,616 --> 00:21:51,117
- Phyllis
- Vivien
402
00:21:51,284 --> 00:21:52,702
Theodora
403
00:21:52,869 --> 00:21:57,582
Leave a message at the beep
404
00:21:57,749 --> 00:22:01,085
Phyllis, it's Biffy Spooner
from 44 years ago.
405
00:22:01,252 --> 00:22:03,546
Give me a ringy-ding back.
406
00:22:03,571 --> 00:22:09,571
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