All language subtitles for RuPauls.Drag.Race.All.Stars.S05E04.WEBRip.480p-WOWRip.en

RuPaul:
Previously on All Stars...

You need to design and present
your own signature suite

worthy of a five-star hotel.

[laughter and applause]

A lot of girls talk about you
behind your back.

Oh, I could be one of them

and tell everybody how we gonna
get rid of you, but I'm not.

I'm not.

-Come on in.
-Come inside.

I've said that before.

Thanks for coming.

And thank you
for being a friend.

If you don't elbow
your way to the front,

you're suddenly in the shadows.

I'm sorry.

The thing that was missing,
there were no jokes.

Jujubee, con-drag-ulations.

You are the top All Star
of the week.

[applause]

Thank you.

Sometimes it's not your day.

But sometimes
it might be my last day,

and hopefully,
that's not the case tonight.

I am in the bottom three.

I could be going home tonight.

We all know
that Shea is a powerhouse.

But she got the worst critiques.

Ooh. Is this strategy, bitch?

Ru-veal yourself!

[cheers and applause]

Monét X Change,
con-drag-ulations.

You're a winner, baby.

The $10.000 will be added
to next week's tip.

Which queen has the group chosen
to get the chop?

Mariah.

Mariah, sashay away.

[sighs]

Another day down.

Pblblblbl. Uh!

Oh, that was insane.

I feel great
that I dodged a bullet

and that I'm still here.

But I kind of
walked into this competition

hoping that I would just have
this beautiful, untouchable,

flawless journey to the crown,

and that is not exactly
how it's going.

I've just gotta, you know,
pick myself back up

and live to slay another day.

Thank y'all for keeping us,
you know?

Yes.

Well, we don't fully know that.

Okay, well, I don't know
what y'all vote was,

but I'm looking at these girls
right here, so...

Do you guys
wanna look in the box?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

One Mariah.

Two Mariah.

Three Mariah.

One Shea.

-Who's that?
-Two Shea.

Touché!

[all laugh]

I'm sorry. What, what, what,
what in the what-what?

One India.

Well, if today
is full of only one thing,

it is surprises.

-Yeah.
-Is that your Mariah?

That's my Mariah.

So four Mariahs,
two Shea, India.

Wow.

Well, y'all know
who my vote was.

-I voted for Mariah.
-I voted for Mariah.

We all know Shea's a powerhouse.

I thought the group was gonna
be, like, Shea's in the bottom?

Let's get her out.

[laughs]

This backfired on my ass.

I'll be honest.
Shea, I voted for you.

-Okay.
-It was not personal at all.

It was the hardest vote.

Like, I respect each and every
one of you so much as artists,

and I've gotten to know you guys
even more

since we've been here,
and I consider you my friend.

But Mariah is like my sister,

and I just couldn't do it.

I mean,
there were two votes for me.

The next vote for Shea was me

just because I didn't
wanna send Mariah home.

Personally, I didn't wanna deal
with that inside me.

I saw Mariah work so hard
that I couldn't do that to her.

So you didn't think
that I worked hard?

I did. I think you did great,
like I say to you before.

No, you said
you didn't wanna choose Mariah,

so you chose Shea.

Why not India?

Oh, India was
out of the question for me,

because I think
her performance was great.

So it went down to the critiques
that were the hardest for me.

India was in the bottom twice,

so how is it that India
is, like, not even an option

when out of all the girls
that are remaining here

I'm the only one that's won
a challenge and a lip sync.

So...

It just puts a lot of things
into perspective.

It just literally shows that it
could be any one of us any day.

At any time.

I'm not terribly surprised

at how these two girls
are playing the game,

because if I were scared,
I would do the same thing.

But, girl, I'm always going
to be thinking about the fact

that you tried to send me home.

These girls have no idea
the kind of games I can play.

So let's have some fun.

RuPaul: The winner
of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics,

a coveted spot
in the Drag Race Hall of Fame,

and a cash prize of $100.000.

With our extra-special
guest judge Sarah Hyland.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪end teaser

-Whoo!
-Ahh.

-Another day!
-Ooh.

[all laugh]

We're back. Back again.

I got my first win last week.

Now, what if I win this week?

[gasps]

Bitch.

Good Juju is here.

She says, "Thanks for making
this a better experience.

"Love, Mariah,
aka Balenciaga, aka Paris,

"aka successful,

aka bottom."

-"Mug 4 dayz."
-"Mug 4 dayz."

-Oh, I love Mariah!
-This bitch!

She is the most extra person.

Knowing damn well
I gotta get ready there,

we gotta clean this up.

Let me show you how to do this,

because I know
you haven't done this before.

You just take--
[all laugh]

With each elimination,

you start to realize...

"I'm doing something right."

I'm still here, bitch. Ha!

I feel like this is some kind
of bad juju Santería curse

or something that
every time you win a challenge,

the winner finish in the bottom.

-[laughs]
-Or if you're in the top--

Wait, is that--
is that what's been happening?

-Yes.
-Yeah.

I feel like, yes,
you were in the bottom.

And then you were in the bottom.

-Uh-huh.
-Then you.

And...

-Juju.
-Juju.

Oh, don't put no bad juju
on this.

[alarm]

RuPaul: Ooh, girl.

She done already
done had herses.

My All Stars,
a dangerous woman once said,

"There's no such thing
as bad publicity,"

because if you can handle
a scandal,

your walk of shame could
lead you to the Hall of Fame.

-A scandal!
-Sandal!

Right?

Hello, hello, hello!

-Hi!
-Yay!

Ladies, when they go low,
we go high.

But sometimes
you just gotta love

some good old Hollywood gossip.
[laughs]

So for this week's
maxi-challenge,

you'll be caught behaving badly

on the nationally syndicated
gossip show SheMZ.

[all laugh]

Oh, my God.

#AllStars5.

Working in teams,
you need to improv your way

through some
scandalous situations.

Okay.

And you gotta be funny.

Make me laugh.

Team number one
is India and Mayhem.

-Oh!
-All right.

Come on over here, bitch.

[all laugh]

India, you'll play a celebrity
who's a chronic shoplifter.

And Mayhem, you'll play
the thirsty shop girl

who catches her in the act.

-Let's do this.
-Okay.

Team two is Jujubee, Blair,
and Cracker.

-Oh!
-Okay!

Jujubee, you'll play
an overprotective drag mother.

Oh!

Blair, you'll play her
obnoxious, ungrateful daughter.

Oh, okay.

And Miz Cracker,
you'll play a shady queen

at the center
of a college admissions scandal.

-Oh, yes!
-Wow!

And that means team three
is Shea Couleé and Alexis Mateo.

Uh... [laughs]

Oh, shit.

Shea, you'll play
an icy drag queen

who's been fired from
The Fake Housewives of Tuckahoe

for being too fake.

Alexis, you'll play
a messy drag queen

who's been fired from
the same trashy reality show

for being too trashy.

Typecast.
We're just typecasts.

All Stars, start your engines,
and may the best woman win.

-Yes!
-Whoo!

Come on, white boys.end act

Ahh. Bitch, we're about
to act a fool up in here.

And SheMZ? How clever.

Today's challenge is SheMZ.

Let me tell you,
I love a gossip,

and I like to talk shit.

So this is right up my alley.

-This is gonna be funny.
-It is.

Because I know
that you're a thief.

Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.

Because, you know,
I've seen you

over in my closet over there
a couple times.

I didn't say
that I was a smooth thief.

So you're not a smooth criminal.

No, I'm not a smooth criminal.
I'm just a criminal.

[clears throat]

Being the good Christian lady
that I am,

I am assigned the shoplifter.

Déjà vu.

It's funny, because all honesty,

when I started drag,
I would steal stuff.

Like, I absolutely
was a shoplifter.

And I got caught one time
stealing three dresses,

and I had to go to court
for that.

Clearly, I'm not proud of that,

but I did my community service,
thank you.

-You know what I wanna do?
-What?

I wanna steal this win
from everyone else.

That's what we need to do.

Last time when I did
an improv challenge,

I went home.

It's big!

Okay, all right.

And long!

I just wanted you
to go further with it.

You can't be too big.

I wanna prove to Ru I'm not
that girl from Season 10.

This time, I'm coming to win.

[both laugh]

When I've worked on a team
with someone,

they've gone home.

Right.

So I'm hoping
we can break that curse.

Oh, we gonna break it open.

We're gonna break it,
because I'm not going home.

If someone goes home,
it better be you, bitch.

Oh! Well, I already know
that I have your vote.

I do not trust Alexis
as far as I can throw her,

and y'all know that ain't far.

But I am going to put

my most professional
panties on right now,

and we're gonna get
this job done,

and I'll handle
our personal stuff after this.

So you playing
a little Miss Perfect.

Yes, so that's--

"She's a control freak
and have major rage issues."

Okay, okay.

"She's fake."

Oh, this is
so, so close to real life.

[laughs]

Ha ha ha ha!

So wait. I wanna read
about your character.

Uh-huh.

Alexis Mateo, the hot mess.

"She thinks Shea
is an uptight bitch."

I think so.

[both laugh]
I'm getting in character.

Well, yes, I understand.

"She got kicked off the show

"because even though
she was great TV,

she was such a liability
she became difficult to insure."

Right.

"She'll do anything
for fame and attention,

and she's pretty open
about that."

Right, like me.

[laughs] Yes.

Our scene is called
Eating with the Enemy.

We try to put an act on
like we're good friends,

but then we're throwing shade
under our breath.

Right.

We just look at each other,
like...

hmm.

[laughs]

it's very on-point with us.

I feel like these characters

are actually pretty, like,
spot-on for us to play.

Right.

Especially, like,
off of each other.

So this is gonna be
a super fun challenge

or a disaster in the making.

You know, it's, like,
this challenge

is really about, like, how--

first of all, I see this
as a comedy challenge,

but it's how quick you are.

Mm-hmm.

- Because it's improv.
-Yeah.

And we have to have
a lot of fun with it.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

I have a good Juju on my team,
but I also have bad juju,

because I think Blair might
have been plotting against me.

In the interest of what Alexis

has been saying
about full honesty,

I just wanna say a few things.
I'll make it quick.

[tongue pop]

Okay.

Blair, you and I have
been friends for two years.

-Mm-hmm.
-Facts.

We had a challenge

where feathers were ruffled
for you and Mayhem.

Another fact. In this very room,
Alexis strongly suggested

that you and perhaps Mayhem
were discussing strategies

to push me
out of this competition.

What?

I've never once
tried to strategize

to get you
out of this competition.

-Okay.
-And you could ask Mayhem.

You can ask anyone else
in this entire room,

in this entire competition.

There's been some tension
between us

the past few days
we've been here,

but it's because
I needed my space.

-Yeah, same.
-I've needed my space.

It's not because I didn't want
whatever was going on

or whatever had been said
to continue.

Right.

But I don't wanna push you out.

Okay.

Hmm.

Right now,
the investigation is saying

she is not not not guilty.

But I hope we can put
any differences aside

and move forward.

Yeah.

Everything's not one hundred,

but I also wanna win
this goddamn challenge.

I do value our friendship,

and I felt like
my friendship with you

was kind of compromised,
and that's what frustrated me.

Yeah.

Yeah, I would rather compete
with you as a friend, honestly.

Like, I would rather
help each other

get to the top
and have RuPaul choose.

It's like a Juju sandwich
with two pieces of white bread.

I'm aroused.

Who knows, you know?

In this competition,
there's a lot that goes on.

We may have other moments

where we're frustrated
with each other.

Oh, I hope you do,
because it's so hot.

[all laugh]

-All right.
-I love you guys.

-I wanna get to the challenge.
-I do, too. I do, too.

We ain't got time for this.

But I'm very intrigued,

because I wanna see
how this goes down.

♪ Dun-dun-dun ♪end act

SheMZ!

[cheering]maybe graphic?

It's me, Kressley Carson.
So what's the T?

Hey, Kressley!

The titties
were not real!

[gasps]
Liberace was gay?

Come on, fellas,
give it to me straight.

[all talking]

Where did Justin Bieber
come from?

[all laugh]

Fake Housewives
of Tuckahoe alert.

We ran into Shea Couleé
and Alexis Mateo having lunch.

Shea!

-Oh, here comes SheMZ.
-Act natural.

Alexis, it's SheMZ!
Oh, my God!

Heavens to Murgatroyd,
I thought they hated each other!

The only thing sadder
than one ex fake housewife...

I'm not just sickening.
I'm contagious.

Is two ex fake housewives.

I might be pretty
on the outside,

but on the inside,
I'm pure garbage.

Bam!
[all laugh]

Bam!

I have to ask.

What are two of reality TV's
most infamous enemies

doing having lunch together?

Well, everyone's gotta eat.

I mean, especially
if you're Alexis Mateo.

Oh, you're so cute.

Our sources say

you were kicked off the show
for being too trashy?

Oh, no, I was never
kicked out of the show.

Shea, why do you think Alexis
got kicked off the show?

I don't wanna talk about
Alexis' multiple failures.

She doesn't know.
She doesn't know.

Because I didn't get--
Hey!

I didn't get kicked out.

If you can't lie to yourself,

then how the hell are you
gonna lie to somebody else?

-You said it, man.
-Yeah.

-Copy that.
-That's you.

-Gotcha, bro.
-[laughs]

You ordered a lot of food there.

Is there any truth to the rumors
that you're eating for two?

More like drinking for two.

I didn't wanna say this,
but I am pregnant.

[gasps] Aah!

This is a SheMZ exclusive!

I don't know if you know this,
but I am also pregnant, too.

Aah!

Do you know
who the baby daddy is?

Okay, I shouldn't be saying this
because I signed an NDA,

but he's also
Blac Chyna's baby daddy.

-Wait a minute.
-[gasps]

That's the father
of my kid, too.

Mm, no, because--

Oh, yes, it is!

Are you even really pregnant,
or is that just a food baby?

[gasps] You are so offensive,

because you know
you're lying, sweetheart.

[chanting]
Food baby! Food baby!

Food baby? Food baby?

Don't ever say nothing.

-Prove it! Prove it!
-This girl right here is lying!

-Oh!
-Oh, there you have it!

It's a pillow!

It's a pillow!

The girl,
like, what are you doing?

Oh! [gasps]

She's a fake, too!

Wow! Did not see that coming.

That's what she said. Oh!

[all laugh]

Heh. We're garbage.

That's like
you always miss the target.

Wait, wait, wait.

-[spits]
-Everything on me is real.

Oh, really? Like this?

Oh!

Look at that!
Another exclusive!

Oh! Oh!

Don't do this to the food!

I'm taking this to go!

The reality is
these bitches are crazy.

Oh!

Aah!

Ow! Ow!

Somebody help me! Aah!

I'm being attacked
by a crazy woman!

You fake-ass bitch!

You know what?
I'm done with you!

What you laughing at?

Get the cameras away from me!

All of you
better get outta here!

Get outta here!

Thirsty bitches!

They're thirsty, all right,
for these nuts!

You know what?
That's chauvinistic, dude.

[all laugh]

Great stuff. Give me more.
Fill me up.

Drag mother Jujubee and
her social influencer daughter

get arrested this morning.

[gasps]

[cries]

Dude, I heard
this Jujubee character

bribed college officials to get
her daughter into Drag U, man.

-Yeow!
-Gnarly.

Turns out Miz Cracker is at
the center of a bribery ring.

-Cracker! Cracker!
-Miz Cracker! Cracker!

-One question, Miz Cracker!
-Miz Cracker!

And SheMZ caught up with her
this morning

at the Michelle Visage
Free Clinic.

Eew. Oh, that reminds me,
I've gotta get my test results
back.sign on window

Miz Cracker! Miz Cracker!

Oh! Oh!
It's SheMZ!subtitle

Drag U fixer?
Well, absolutely not.

Are you aware
that Jujubee and Blair

were arrested for their part
in the scandal?

Well, I certainly
don't know those two.

I've never heard those names
before, and I--

What is that?

Oh, nothing.

It has nothing
to do with anything.

So you're saying
you've never heard of Jujubee

or her daughter Blair?

I can say with firmness
that I have not.

I haven't heard of them.

-[sobbing]
-Excuse me. Excuse me.

We just got out of jail.
Thank you.

[sobs] Oh!

It's all right, honey,
it's all right, it's all right.

-We spent 24 full hours--
-12.

-24.
-That's how long it was?

Yes. You were asleep,
sweetheart.

Oh, I'm SheMZ!

-We know.
-Tell me all about it.

-We watch you all the time.
-Thank you, thank you.

I was sitting in bed
reading my stories

doing her nails,
and then the police break in.

It was terrible!

We were in there,
and there was...

overhead lighting!

Oh, how dare you!

Jujubee, Juju,
why did you bribe Miz Cracker

to get your daughter
into Drag U?

Because Drag U was the most
prestigious college out there,

and I want my daughter
to succeed.

I think she is
the next drag superstar.

Let go of me, Mother!

I didn't even want
to go to Drag U!

Blair, can I just say
I follow you in Instagram?

-Oh, my God, do you really?
-I do.

Thank you!

I'd let that Blair St. Clair
influence me any day.

#Fiiiine.

-Oh!
-Oh!

Oh, I think I just said
I was in a gang.

If I'm going down,
you're going down.

I have gone down.

I know you're going down, too,
if we play our cards right.

What?

I'm wearing the butterfly ring
you gave me.

Oh, please, let your butterfly
flap a little more for me, love.

All you have to do
is tell these reporters

there is absolutely
nothing going on with us.

Wait. What, Mom?

I love you, but I can't.

-Ooh!
-Ooh!

-Dude!
-Juicy!

Mm-hmm. She's hot, too.

I know our friendship

has been over more bumps
than your foundation stick,

but it's time
for us to stick together.

Tell SheMZ that I am innocent.

No, I have proof.
It's in my pocketbook.

-I wanna see it!
-Do you wanna see?

[laughs]

Ah-ha-ha!

Wait, is that Blair's face
on Laganja Estranja's body?

Perhaps possibly maybe.

All this proves is that I taught
her the key elements of drag:

charisma, uniqueness,
nerve, and also Photoshop.

[Blair wails]

There is nothing wrong
with that in this era.

-Here's a clap.
-Nothing at all!

Here's a clap
for your performance.

The only claps I've gotten
are in the bar scene,

which is more
than I can say for you.

Ooh!

No one has been to your show
in years.

When Lady Gaga said there could
be a hundred people in a room,

you were shocked.

This is really good.
Keep going.

I'm gonna put it to you plain.

I'm gonna tell you what people
say behind your backs.

You're dumb.

-[gasps]
-And you're ugly!

I am not!

No one calls me dumb,
you lint-licker!

Oh!

Oh!

How dare you!

I've been waiting all day
to do this!

-Oh!
-Oh, my God!

Mother!

And again!

In a different direction now!

And a different one!

That Miz Cracker, she don't
even need to wear sunscreen

because she is shady as hell!

-Oh!
-Oh!

She's hot, though.

Dude, India Ferrah
is back in the news again.

Didn't she get busted
a few years ago for shoplifting?

It seems she's been, uh,
mopping some expensive items.

We caught up with her
and this angry-ass shop girl

in the parking lot
of Fred Shegal.

Ooh, Fred Shegal's!

I get all my man blouses there.
Look at this one.

Ooh, so pretty, it smells
like a guy named Carlos.

[laughs]

India! India, hi!

-Oh, my God, hi!
-It's SheMZ!

Hi. Um, how are you?

Hi. I'm wonderful.
You look gorgeous.

Thank you so much.subtitle

...in your past.

I'm sorry, what?

You know, you have a history
of shoplifting.

That is the old me, SheMZ.

Hey!

Um, I've gotta go. I--

Get back over here!

What do you want from me!

I know who you are.

You just came into my store,
and you took everything.

-No, I bought everything.
-No, no, no.

I saw you taking some vases,

and then you put some other
stuff in your bag, girl.

-No.
-I saw you.

You were caught
on candid camera.

No. Y'all have cameras?

SheMZ over here!

SheMZ?

SheMZ?

Am I mistaken
or are you Mayhem

from the 22nd season
of The Bitch-ler?

All this could have been yours!

You're just so...stupid!

What are you doing here!

Say "hi" to the SheMZ viewers!

Oh, hi, guys! Hi!
[laughs]

Oh!

That Mayhem, she's a foxy lady.

Hey, Kressley,
don't you think she's hot?

I do love her lipstick.
[laughs]

It's a pretty color.

Explain to me
what's going on here.

Did India steal some vases?

But I bought everything.

-Oh, you bought it?
-Yeah.

Watch this, bitch.

-[gasps]
-Hold up!

Back up, everybody!

-[imitates alarm]
-This is all paid for.

You need to check
your battery.

I know you stole the things.

-No, I didn't.
-She did.

I didn't steal these things
because I've been in therapy.

-For what, being a thief-erella?
-I have to confess something.

SheMZ, listen to me.

I have to confess something
to the world.

SheMZ is listening.

I'm a licker.

[moans]

I'm addicted to licking.
It makes me feel good.

Is that a doughnut?

Can I possibly
have a...lick?

You're a licker, too?

I don't know, maybe.

If you're a true licker,
show me.

Ooh, lick it. Lick it.
Lick it!

Oh, my God, you're a licker. Oh!

This is a SheMZ first.

She can lick my doughnut
any time.

-Whoa!
-Hey, yo!

Oh, yeah!

I don't get it.

I don't get it. What?

Hey, listen, you're not gonna
believe what happened next.

Hey, ladies, I hate to break up
this lickfest,

but our viewers wanna know
what happened with those vases?

I didn't steal any vases.

[glass shatters]

What was that?

Whoa. Where did that come from?

[glass shatters]
Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Clean it up!

Can I lick it?

Lick it! Lick it!

That can't be safe.

Nothing could be finer
than china in your china.

Or glass in your ass!

-Oh!
-Oh!

Man, I love my job.end act

♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo ♪

Yes, runway day, runway day,
runway, runway, runway!

Oh, my God, are you ready?

Choreography?
This early?

-This early, girl.
-Oh, this early.

[squeaks]

Bitch, that's a good print.

What you wearing?

You know, just a little camo.

Just a little camo here,
a little camo there.

-Camouflage couture.
-Yeah.

Today we're getting ready
for our runway, Camo Couture.

I don't know what the fuck
is "camo."

I thought it was
"camel toe" or...

[camel brays]

[laughs] I don't even know.

Oh, girl, I love you.

You so real.
Oh, I love you.

-You're my best friend.
-I love you.

-I love you.
-No, I love you.

-You, you, you!
-You, you, you!

[both laugh]

Damn it!

Had all this fun with
Alexis Mateo doing the scene,

and I feel really good
about how things went.

So I'll smile and I'll nod
and... [laughs]

But I'm still looking over
my shoulder watching you.

How you feeling, India?

I'm feeling good.

I feel like I delivered my best,

and I feel like

that was probably
one of my best challenges.

Now, are you afraid that might
not be enough for the judges,

or are you, like,
confident on that?

I mean,
there's always that thought.

Because, you know,
it's always, like--

There's always that thought.

-There's always a moment.
-It's a gag.

-You'll never feel safe.
-Girl, yeah.

Here's a question.

Has anybody in this werkroom

been involved in anything like
celebrity blogs, maybe SheMZ?

I have.

The weekend I was eliminated
from Drag Race,

there was this article that
went around about me on TMZ,

and people uncovered
that I had a DUI in my past.

It was, like, a really, really,

really hard time for me
in my life,

because I had to read about it
splashed across TMZ.

All these people, like,
are reading about me

and talking about me,
and they didn't even get to,

like, hear my story
of, like, who I am.

Right. Actually, Blair, um,
I, in my younger days,

made some really bad choices
that I'm not proud of.

I have two DUIs.

Whoa.

I am lucky and blessed

that those foolish choices
did not hurt anybody.

-Yeah.
-Or myself.

When you have that pressure on
you to be the life of the party,

you wanna drink,
you wanna do the drugs.

So I would do the most,
and I had no limits.

It just became this thing
of how messy can May be?

And no one wants to admit
if they have a problem, and...

I got arrested in drag
both times.

-[gasps]
-Oh, my God.

-Jesus Christ.
-It was very terrifying.

They made me strip down naked.

Oh, my God.

To nothing
in front of everyone else

that was being booked
that night.

And actually, one of the
officers took a picture of me,

and they laughed.

Listening to Mayhem's story

about her being arrested in drag
is painful.

I've never experienced
anything like that.

It breaks my heart.

I did, you know,
serve some time and stuff.

What?
I didn't even know that.

Oh, yeah.

It was a moment that I was like,

I can't ever be
in this position again.

And after I got out of jail,

I went to classes
and tried to get some help.

I had no idea.
That is insane.

-Thanks for sharing.
-Yeah, thanks for sharing that.

I know how brave that was.

Aw, thank you!

On my season,
I was trying to hold back.

I was, like,
I'm just gonna keep to myself.

And I feel this time
at Drag Race

I'm more in my skin
and I feel comfortable

around the people that
are in this werkroom with me.

So I'm not afraid
to let the walls down.

I'm actually happy to share,

because I know if I'm able
to share a little bit of me,

it helps someone else, probably.

Sisterhood.
We all love each other.

Until it's time for voting.

[all laugh]end act

[RuPaul laughs]

♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe,
let your whole body talk ♪

♪ Cover girl ♪

And what?

[applause]

Welcome to the main stage of
RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars.

Michelle Visage.
Now, have you ever shoplifted?

You know how I love
five fingers.

Discount.
I mean the discount!

[all laugh]

Style superstar Carson Kressley.

Now, I understand

you're involved
in a controversy yourself.

Yes, it's true, Ru.

After my breakout role
as Kressley Carson,

I'm being accused of stealing
jobs from heterosexual actors.

-[gasps] Oh, dear.
-Yeah.

We gotta get Gloria Allred
on this.

[all laugh]

And the gorgeous
Sarah Hyland.

-Hi-ee.
-Hi-ee.

Now, I hear you were raised
by drag queens?

Oh, yes, I am a true
East Village hood rat queen.

I love it.

This week,
we challenged our queens

to improv their way out of
some she-lebrity shenanigans.

All Stars, start your engines,
and may the best woman win.

♪ Everyone can be someone ♪

Category is
Come On, Camo Couture.

First up, Jujubee.

Ooh, she's in the Army now!

Carson: I think she's got
some hidden arms.

RuPaul: Yes, she does.

Jujubee: Girl, I am wearing
a beautiful red wig,

my lips are red,
the smile is gorgeous,

and I have this huge cape.

It's my play
on camouflaging camouflage,

and somewhere in there
there's a camel toe.

RuPaul: I think she goes
by the name of "GI Jujubee."

[all laugh]

Miz Cracker.

That's Major Cracker to you.

That's a basic training bra,
Michelle.

Michelle: It is?

Cracker: I'm very excited
about my camo look.

I feel sexy, I feel strong.

I feel like a pinup girl,
and I feel like a popstar.

Carson: She's clearly
winning the arms race.

RuPaul: Yeah.

Sarah: She may get
an honorable discharge.

-Mm-hmm.
-Yes.

RuPaul: I declare,
it's Blair St. Clair.

Michelle:
Sporting some wood, I see.

Carson:
She's really branching out.

RuPaul: She really is, yeah.

Blair: I'm giving you
a little bit of camo couture

meets me
camouflaging in couture.

It's a little Mother Nature

meets Poison Ivy
meets tree woman

giving you mother willow
just, like, weeping.

All the fantasy.

RuPaul: Run, forest, run!

[all laugh]

Shea Couleé.

Sarah: If she waters my cans,
will they grow?

[all laugh]

Michelle: This is camouflage
for Smurfland.

Shea:
I'm coming down this runway

serving a love child between
Coco Chanel and Richard Quinn.

I have my super sweet,
sexy sixties shift dress

with some custom, hand-poured
latex leggings and garters,

and I'm watering
all those hydrangeas,

being the nosy neighbor

who's trying to get all the T
over those hedges.

RuPaul: Yes, she can.

Carson: H2-Oh!

RuPaul: Alexis Mateo.

Michelle:
She's the Abominable Drag Queen.

Carson: Winter is coming.

RuPaul: Yes.

Carson: Or at least
she's getting close.

[all laugh]

Alexis: I really wanted to
not be traditional camouflage,

so I went
to hunter's camouflage.

High-fashion snow queen.

Ooh, bitch, I look sickening.

RuPaul:
Because you know what?

If you stay yeti,
you ain't gots to get yeti.

[all laugh]

Mayhem Miller.

Michelle: That's West Hollywood
camo, y'all.

RuPaul: Yes.

Cam-oh, she did not.

-Oh, my God.
-Yes.

Mayhem: I'm coming as Barbie

and GI Joe
mixed together, bitch.

I'm in pink camo, honey.

I got my hooker boots,
I got my chains out.

I know camo is supposed to be
like I'm hiding, but not me.

I want you to see me coming.

Carson:
Weapons of ass destruction.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: India Ferrah.

Michelle:
Ooh, she's wearing a cam-o-no.

She certainly is.

Sarah:
Look at all that latex.

Michelle: Slaytex.

India:
I am serving video game vixen,

straight out of a movie
camouflage couture.

I'm giving you
slicked-back hair,

over-the-top makeup,
full kimono, full bow.

I am living the camo fantasy.

Michelle: It's a wrap.

[RuPaul laughs]end act

Welcome, All Stars.

Based on your performances
in the challenge

and your runway presentations,

I've made some decisions.

When I call your name,
please step forward.

Shea Couleé.

Blair St. Clair.

You are both safe.

You may leave the stage.

Thank you so much.

Ladies, now it's time
for the judges' critiques.

First up, Jujubee.

There were so many great moments
in your SheMZ.

In this whole group, I kind of
count on you for the funny,

and I think you delivered it
really well.

I think
what was so great about it

was that you had many layers
to your character.

You're going down.

You waited, you took your time,
you listened.

You were always a "yes, and"
type of improv actor,

and I really, really
appreciated that.

Tonight on the runway,
you looked stunning.

I was getting kind of I'm
married to a very rich hunter.

Uh, he's married to me.

Okay, whatever it is
is beautiful.

The only criticism I would have

is that I would love
one little something

that would give us
that extra little wow factor.

Mm-hmm.

-Mish Cracka!
-Hello.

The thing about you, Cracker,

is you tend to get in your head
a little bit too much.

And when Cracker
gets in her head,

a lot of voices start going,

and sometimes
they get in your way.

In this challenge,
that was not the case.

Uh-huh. Pblblblbl.

From the minute you were
looking through the window,

it was a joy to watch you.

I definitely felt like you were
the leader of the challenge.

The way that you interacted
with everyone, including Ross,

was absolute perfection.

I gagged the entire time.

This look on the runway
is the bomb.

Hee hee hee.
That was a joke!

-That was a joke, yes!
-Yes!

I think it's a great concept,
giving us kind of that camo,

but a little bit more of like
a Britney/showgirl kind of vibe.

Like if Ariana Grande
and Destiny's Child Survivor,

if they had a baby, that's you.

That's the outfit.

I'm just so proud of you
tonight.

Tonight was a really good moment
for Cracker.

Thank you.

Up next, Alexis Mateo.

Hi.

Your runway look tonight,

I love that you went
with a deer hunter camo.

You came out
in a winter camouflage.

It's full-on drag.

You're giving us
a drag queen fantasy.

It is fantasy,
it is snow queen eleganza,

and a real standout amongst the
more literal, you know, camo.

It's stunning.

In the acting challenge,

I think the key for you,
it's about really listening.

Don't worry about filling
the silence all the time.

I think when you get excited,
you tend to cut people off.

So you were cutting Shea off
a little bit.

My favorite part is when
you shoved food in your titties,

and you said,
"Saving it for later.

Do not waste the good food."

I get what
everybody's saying, though.

You do find gold
when you listen to your partner.

Up next, Mayhem Miller.

Hey.

In your performance,
it started our really strong.

But it kind of fizzled for me,

and I felt it took a long time

to get where y'all
were gonna go.

I thought the concept was great.

The creativity was this kind of
John Waters kind of wackiness.

But I have to agree
with Michelle.

It did take a long time
to get there.

For tonight's runway look,
I love this color palette.

It's really, really beautiful
on your skin.

With the hair, your makeup,
it's gorgeous.

Stunning.
Maybe not enough concept for me.

Like, I wish
there was more to it,

like who are you,
what's your story.

I'm Black Barbie
going to combat.

That's what I am.

Okay.

Um, I just feel like

it's a little bit light
on look for me.

All Stars
is really frickin' tough,

and y'all can't get offended,
because May,

I feel like a little bit
of an attitude from you.

I don't have an attitude.

-A little bit.
-I'm just kiki-ing.

This is difficult,
and this is part of this gig.

You know, and we're here

to help you shine
the best that you can shine.

Up next, India Ferrah.

Hi.

Your runway look tonight,

I'm obsessed
with this hair and makeup.

-Can you do this on me?
-Absolutely.

Thank God.
[all laugh]

This looks
very different for you.

Normally, I don't like a
black lip and super dark makeup,

but I think this all works,

especially with the touches
of black leather at the waist,

combined with
the slicked-back hair.

I think it's refreshing, and
I think it's what we wanna see.

Like, surprise us.

Thanks.

You started out
so strong in yours.

I mean, a girl with hair
and boobs like that,

with all them shopping bags?

I was in it.

And then I kind of
felt you deviate,

just kind of
get flatline, really.

I think maybe you lost your way
a little bit.

It was a little bit
of a one-note for me,

where it was kind of
a lot of the same.

You know that it got
a little, like, meh

towards the middle and end.

But dropping vases
from your puss is always great.

[glass shatters]

-Can I say that?
-Of course.

-You're doing it right now.
-Okay, great.

[laughs]

Ladies, it's getting down
to the best of the best.

So based on
the judges' critiques,

I've made some
very difficult decisions.

Miz Cracker...

Con-drag-ulations. You are
the top All Star of the week.

[applause]

Thank you all.

You've won a four-night stay
in Montreal, Canada,

including hotel and airfare,
courtesy of Tourisme/Montreal.

[growls]

Jujubee.

Alexis Mateo.

You are safe.

Thank you.

That means India Ferrah
and Mayhem Miller,

I'm sorry, my dears,

but you are the bottom two
All Stars of the week.

Miz Cracker, you need to decide

which of the bottom queens
you will eliminate

if you win the lip sync

against this week's
secret lip sync assassin.

And the rest of you
will cast your votes

for which bottom queen
you think should get the chop.

Now, while you deliberate
in the werkroom,

the judges and I
will be baking cookies.

Ooh!

Thank you, ladies.
You may leave the stage.end act

Hello.

-Oh, hello.
-Hi.

It feels so good
to win the challenge.

I'm so relieved.

It's like being
a 39-year-old woman in Hollywood

and getting an Oscar.

You're like... [exhales]

What's going on, guys?

Did you win?

I won.

-What?
-Congrats!

Thank you.

♪ I'm in the bottom ♪

-♪ I'm in the bottom, too ♪
-What? You're lying.

What did you guys think
it was gonna be?

We thought that you guys
would be in the top.

-The top, yeah.
-Same.

[both laugh]

If this was a court of law,

I'm definitely
gonna say objection,

because, no, ma'am.

Why am I in the bottom?

Now is time for me
to talk to two people

that I thought murdered this

about why they think
they should stay.

Pleading your case in this game

is like lip syncing
for your life.

I'm trying to see
which of these girls

is going to turn it out
on the sofa.

I just wanna hear from you

why you wanna be here,
why you deserve to be here.

Of course I wanna be here.

I want to be here because I want
to prove that I am an All Star.

I wanted to prove that
I am that girl, you know?

I am that queen,
and I am one of the best.

This sucks.

Right now, I don't know
what my strategy is,

because I'm sad, I'm mad,

and the one person I don't
wanna have to plead my case to

is Cracker.

Do you feel like you showed
something different this season

than you showed in Season 10?

When I left Season 10,
I was destroyed,

because I felt like
I was a failure,

and I felt like
I did not represent me.

This time around,
I feel like me has been here.

And you have, like,
come out of your shell so much.

We've had friction here,
but any troubles that we have

have absolutely nothing to do

with the decisions
I make today at all.

However the vote goes today,
it's just a game.

And I accept the fate,
what it is.

Yeah. [sighs]

I feel like
this is an opportunity

for us to hear out
our sis India.

Yeah. How are you feeling
right now, India?

Crushed, because I felt like
I delivered something so strong,

and I felt like
I was gonna be in the top.

I felt I delivered
the whole scene.

I felt very comfortable,
I felt funny.

Yeah.

And I felt like she held back

in the performance
just a little bit.

Where they said
that it laid flat,

she could have built that up.

I'm not going home.

I'm not giving up, no.

No signs of weakness here.

I'll fight. I am a monster.

Why do you think you should
be here, deserve to be here?

I think that
everyone can see my drive

and they can see my passion
for drag.

Like, it's in my blood.

I felt very strong
about the performance.

I stepped out of my comfort zone
completely.

I'm not tapping out.

-I don't wanna go home.
-Yeah.

Bitch, I wanna be here.

Do you feel that Mayhem

has shown everything
that she has to show?

I was a little upset during
the challenge working with her,

because prior to it,

we were so, like,
oh, we're gonna do this.

And when we got out there,
like...girl.

You felt like she didn't
get in there and get dirty.

Yeah.

And you feel like
you did not hold back at all?

I didn't. Absolutely not.

I will say this about India.
She's fighting hard.

She's like,
"Look, I need to be here.

"I could be in the bottom
to the very end.

I'll bottom my way to the top
if I have to."

Go on.

I'm really gagged.

We did not see it
going this way.

I had fun
with the challenge yesterday,

I felt comfortable
with the challenge,

and I stand by it.

We were committed.

I'm proud of my scene partner,

because she stepped up

and was committed
along with me.

I can't say anything else
other than I'm gagged, too.

I guess I'm just trying
to take everything in.

It's always interesting to hear
what the judges have had to say.

But you know what?
This is our choice.

-Exactly.
-It's our choice.

What matters to me
is what my peers think,

because you know
what a good queen is.

So if you see me,
that's what matters to me.

I'm happy with
whatever the outcome is.

God.

The first week I vote for her,
and she's crazy upset,

and she's taking it personally.

And now, honestly, I don't know

why she's not
fighting harder for herself.

Like, who is this Mayhem,
and why have you checked out?

Now, I know what
y'all are thinking.

This is India's third week
in the bottom.

But Mayhem voted
for me to go home last week,

so I feel like it would be rude
of me to not return the favor.

Oh, my gosh.

I love you so much.
I'm so proud of you.

I was a fan of drag
before I became a drag queen.

India, I'm a fan of yours.

Mayhem and I
traveled a rocky road,

but it feels like she's blooming
in this competition,

and there's a part of me that
wants to see what happens next.

But does India deserve
to go home tonight?

I just have to do what RuPaul
says:
"Don't fuck it up."

Don't fuck it up, Cracker!end
act

Welcome back, ladies.

Miz Cracker, are you ready
to meet your opponent?

I'm ready to tear it up.

Good.

It's time to present

this week's lip sync assassin.

Is that even a person?

Ru-veal yourself!

-Who is it?
-I don't know.

O-M-G.

-Aw, sis!
-Oh!

That's my sister.

Oh, my God!

Aah!

Holy shit,
the queen, Morgan McMichaels.

[applause]

[laughs]

She's like, "Why you mad?
Why you mad? Why you mad?"

I'm like, "I don't know,
I'm not mad!"

The lip sync assassin
is my best friend, best friend.

Like, my best friend,
best friend, best friend.

For 20 whole years,
Morgan McMichaels,

and I'm in the bottom.

Awkward.

Ladies,
Morgan holds the lipstick

of the queen the group
has chosen to go home.

Now, if Morgan wins, the queen
on her lipstick gets the chop.

Are you ready to slay?

Yes, Mother.

Yes, Mama Ru.

Two queens stand before me.

Miz Cracker, this is your chance
to impress me,

win $20.000,

and earn the power

to give one
of the bottom queens ze chop.

The time has come...
[thunder]

to lip sync...

[echoing] for your legacy!

Good luck,
and don't fuck it up.

♪ I've been everywhere, man ♪

♪ Looking for someone ♪

♪ Someone who can please me ♪

♪ Love me all night long ♪

♪ I've been everywhere, man ♪

♪ Looking for you, babe ♪

♪ Looking for you, babe ♪

♪ Searching for you, babe ♪

♪ Where have you been? ♪

♪ All my life? ♪

♪ All my life? ♪

♪ Where have you been
all my life? ♪

♪ Where have you been
all my life? ♪

♪ I've been everywhere, man ♪

♪ Looking for someone ♪

Come on, body!

♪ Someone who can please me ♪

♪ Love me all night long ♪

♪ I've been everywhere, man ♪

♪ Looking for you, babe ♪

♪ Looking for you, babe ♪

♪ Searching for you, baby ♪

♪ Where have you been? ♪

♪ 'Cause I never see you out ♪

♪ Are you hiding from me,
yeah? ♪

♪ Somewhere in the crowd ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Where have you been? ♪

♪ All my life? ♪

♪ All my life? ♪

♪ Where have you been
all my life? ♪

[laughter and applause]

Yes!

[laughter and applause]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Morgan McMichaels.

You're a winner, baby.

Thank you very much.

[applause]

Miz Cracker.

You are also a winner, baby.

[gasps]

Thank you!
[applause]

Con-drag-ulations, Cracker.

You've earned a cash tip
of $20.000.

Thank you, Mama Ru.

And a tie means two queens
could be going home tonight.

[sighs]

Damn.

Oh, my God.

Will the bottom queens
please step forward?

With great power
comes great responsibility.

Morgan, which queen
has the group chosen

to get the chop?

The group has chosen...

Mayhem.

Miz Cracker, which queen
have you chosen to get the chop?

I've had to split hairs

to figure out
who should go home today,

but listening to my heart,

I would like
to send Mayhem home.

As it is written,

so it shall be done.

Mayhem, you are
and will always be an All Star.

Now sashay away.

Thanks for inviting me
back to the party.

I love you so much.

Kill it, bitch.

Even though I've been doing drag
all these years,

you still learn and grow.

Don't be sorry.

I'll see you
in a little bit, girl.

We gonna go to Sizzler.

I leave here
in a better head space

than I did
when I left Season 10,

and that's what I wanted to do.

I wanted to push myself
and learn something new about me

and have a good time,

and I did all of that,

So my journey here is exactly
what I wanted it to be.

I am the queen!

[all laugh]

The queen of the party! Yes!

[laughter and applause]

You never wanna be
the last person at a party.

You gotta know
when it's time to leave.

Con-drag-ulations, All Stars.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" up in here?

-Amen!
-Amen!

All right.
Now let the music play.

♪ I am American, American,
American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪vote

♪ I am American,
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪

RuPaul: Next time
on All Stars...

For this week's maxi-challenge,

we're gonna be playing
the Snatch Game of Love.

[cheers and applause]

So I wanna take a risk.

The girl who's been in
the bottom three weeks in a row

is taking a risk?

Yeah.

I want you to succeed.

I want you to make me laugh.

[no voice]

Let's meet our snatch-elors.

Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman
and Tommy Dorfman.

"What does contestant three's
breath smell like?"

What the fuck, man?

[all laugh]

Oh, the pain.

[laughs]

I think that will go down

as one of the best Snatch Game
performances in history.

This is the biggest stunt
in the history of All Stars.

Somebody here is lying.

Ru-veal yourself!

[RuPaul laughs, bell dings]

♪ I am American,
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American,
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪

♪ Am-Am-Am-Am-American,
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪