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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,111 --> 00:00:03,949 - So, we give a lot of tickets for people doing stuff... 2 00:00:04,031 --> 00:00:07,076 ...like jerking off in public and things you shouldn't really do. 3 00:00:07,159 --> 00:00:09,621 So today we thought we'd do a new program that we call 4 00:00:09,704 --> 00:00:12,498 "Operation Frown Upside Down." 5 00:00:12,582 --> 00:00:14,667 We were going to do that together but... - Yeah, that's fine. 6 00:00:14,751 --> 00:00:17,295 - We are gonna give this man a ticket... 7 00:00:17,378 --> 00:00:19,589 but a ticket to... 8 00:00:19,672 --> 00:00:21,424 a movie! - A movie! 9 00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:24,469 - It's called Book Club Bandit$. 10 00:00:24,552 --> 00:00:27,973 And get this, the "s" is a dollar sign. 11 00:00:28,055 --> 00:00:31,392 - And it's staring Jennifer Lopez, 12 00:00:31,476 --> 00:00:34,854 and Awkwafina who I absolutely love. 13 00:00:34,938 --> 00:00:36,940 - Watch us blow this guy's mind. 14 00:00:37,023 --> 00:00:38,316 Sheriff's Department. 15 00:00:38,399 --> 00:00:39,859 - MAN: Back away from my car! 16 00:00:40,777 --> 00:00:42,445 - JONES: Holy shit! 17 00:00:43,279 --> 00:00:47,366 - Sir, I'm trying to give you free popcorn, you motherfucker! 18 00:01:01,881 --> 00:01:03,883 - Good morning, prince charming. 19 00:01:05,885 --> 00:01:07,637 You remember why we pulled you in here? 20 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,973 - You wanna remind me, blue eyes? 21 00:01:10,056 --> 00:01:14,185 - You flunked a field sobriety test and we impounded your Harley. 22 00:01:14,268 --> 00:01:15,937 - Oh, shit. 23 00:01:16,021 --> 00:01:17,981 Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 24 00:01:20,191 --> 00:01:21,609 - Are you really a cop, 25 00:01:21,693 --> 00:01:25,864 or are you a movie star doing research to play a cop? 26 00:01:28,950 --> 00:01:32,328 - Yeah, listen, there's no need to flirt with me, all right? 27 00:01:32,412 --> 00:01:35,248 Even though, you do tick off about... 28 00:01:36,416 --> 00:01:39,586 three of the boxes of the type of guy I like. 29 00:01:39,669 --> 00:01:43,715 - If I could do magic, I'd put you and me in a genie bottle, 30 00:01:44,716 --> 00:01:46,843 cast us off to sea, 31 00:01:46,927 --> 00:01:50,680 and have us wash up in Los Cabos... 32 00:01:51,765 --> 00:01:53,016 mid-December... 33 00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:56,770 - BOTH: ...blue whale migration season. - MAN: Exactly. 34 00:01:56,853 --> 00:02:01,066 Whisk off to Sammy Hagar's for some peel-and-eat shrimp 35 00:02:01,148 --> 00:02:03,693 and some clamato margatinis. 36 00:02:04,736 --> 00:02:08,281 - You had me at "clamahto" margatinis. 37 00:02:08,364 --> 00:02:12,535 - You say "clamahto," I say "clamayto." 38 00:02:13,411 --> 00:02:15,663 - And you know what I would say if I were a blue whale? 39 00:02:28,259 --> 00:02:29,510 - JONES: Come on! - TRAVIS: This time for real. 40 00:02:31,596 --> 00:02:32,597 - CHERISHA: There you go! 41 00:02:33,222 --> 00:02:34,432 - TRAVIS: All right. Do it again! 42 00:02:35,475 --> 00:02:39,104 - JONES: Pretty good. Pretty good. - ALL: Pretty good. Pretty good. 43 00:02:39,186 --> 00:02:41,314 - JIM: You know who can't shoot like that? - CHERISHA: Yeah. 44 00:02:41,397 --> 00:02:43,399 - Spark's Department. Fuck those guys. - Fuck those guys. 45 00:02:43,483 --> 00:02:45,568 - CHERISHA: I think that's a lucky shirt. - TRAVIS: Yeah. 46 00:02:45,652 --> 00:02:46,778 - JIM: You know where he got this? 47 00:02:46,861 --> 00:02:50,197 He goes to the lads section, the boys section... 48 00:02:50,281 --> 00:02:52,867 - TRAVIS: Yeah, large boys. - JIM: Large boys... 49 00:02:52,951 --> 00:02:55,411 He points to the three mannequins... 50 00:02:55,495 --> 00:02:58,498 Sold, sold, sold, and he walks out. - TRUDY: Like a millionaire. 51 00:02:58,873 --> 00:03:01,126 - You look a regular Magnum P.I. over there. 52 00:03:01,208 --> 00:03:03,377 - And then Donny Junior can use them after. 53 00:03:03,461 --> 00:03:05,338 - No, but you wear a smedium. 54 00:03:06,339 --> 00:03:08,842 - He's a husky smedium, yeah. - Husky smedium. 55 00:03:08,925 --> 00:03:09,926 - But you know, most Americans-- 56 00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:11,970 - Hey, you guys, I forgot to tell you. I bought a new turtleneck. 57 00:03:17,558 --> 00:03:19,978 - These are men's shoes. 58 00:03:20,854 --> 00:03:21,813 - Yeah, we figured. 59 00:03:21,896 --> 00:03:23,773 - You remember I warned you, right? 60 00:03:24,565 --> 00:03:25,733 - It's okay, baby. 61 00:03:26,193 --> 00:03:27,527 We all have white friends. 62 00:03:27,610 --> 00:03:29,320 - Yeah. Wait, just a second. 63 00:03:29,654 --> 00:03:30,613 Hello. 64 00:03:31,698 --> 00:03:32,699 Yes, sir. 65 00:03:33,282 --> 00:03:34,784 - It's about work. - Yes, sir. 66 00:03:35,451 --> 00:03:38,329 No. We are actually off duty today, sir. 67 00:03:38,412 --> 00:03:40,289 It's ICE. - MAN: Oh, shit! 68 00:03:40,373 --> 00:03:42,125 - It's ICE. It's Immigration... Yes, sir. 69 00:03:42,209 --> 00:03:43,250 - JIM: The Immigration? 70 00:03:44,502 --> 00:03:46,253 - We would love to. 71 00:03:46,337 --> 00:03:51,509 You know, we are not allowed to do backup on Immigration raids. 72 00:03:51,592 --> 00:03:53,845 Them snowflakes on the City Council, 73 00:03:53,928 --> 00:03:56,430 them goddamn libtards... 74 00:03:56,514 --> 00:03:59,017 - Ordinance 42! - Ordinance 42. 75 00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:01,769 And then the goddamn snowflakes they voted for it, 76 00:04:01,853 --> 00:04:03,771 and we are a sanctuary county. 77 00:04:03,855 --> 00:04:06,816 Yes, sir. OK, wait just a second. I'll let you speak to my supervisor. 78 00:04:07,358 --> 00:04:08,317 - No, I don't wanna talk! 79 00:04:08,401 --> 00:04:09,777 - TRUDY: Losers! I haven't even finished my hot dog. 80 00:04:09,861 --> 00:04:13,406 - Hello, this is Lieutenant Dangle. 81 00:04:15,324 --> 00:04:16,243 - What are you doing? 82 00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:17,660 - It's... 83 00:04:18,703 --> 00:04:20,914 - No, no, no! - Here. 84 00:04:20,997 --> 00:04:22,249 - Shit, shit, shit! 85 00:04:22,623 --> 00:04:26,586 - Hello, this is Carol Wiegel. Yes. 86 00:04:26,669 --> 00:04:29,714 - Fuck, that's her real last name! That's her actual name! 87 00:04:29,797 --> 00:04:33,718 - No. We're very busy actually because we just found a whole... 88 00:04:35,469 --> 00:04:37,055 bunch of dead bodies. 89 00:04:37,138 --> 00:04:38,431 - Carol, we need you. 90 00:04:38,514 --> 00:04:41,475 - Hold on, please. Someone's calling me by my name. 91 00:04:41,559 --> 00:04:43,436 - Carol. - Yes, this Carol. Can I help you? 92 00:04:43,519 --> 00:04:45,312 - JONES: You need to play it out. Get the phone... 93 00:04:45,396 --> 00:04:47,148 - It turns out it was nothing. Anyway... 94 00:04:47,232 --> 00:04:48,399 - Just get it from her! - Carol? 95 00:04:48,482 --> 00:04:51,402 - I think I lost him. - WOMAN: Then we good. 96 00:04:51,485 --> 00:04:52,695 - Maria... 97 00:04:55,823 --> 00:04:56,699 - At the Comida Mart. 98 00:05:01,328 --> 00:05:03,039 - Why don't you have a wedding ring? 99 00:05:03,456 --> 00:05:04,665 - I had one. 100 00:05:05,166 --> 00:05:06,459 But I messed up. 101 00:05:06,751 --> 00:05:09,045 I think I got hitched a little too early. 102 00:05:09,129 --> 00:05:10,922 Then we had us a little girl and... 103 00:05:11,422 --> 00:05:13,091 - Well, kids ruin everything. 104 00:05:14,383 --> 00:05:15,802 I didn't know my dad. 105 00:05:16,469 --> 00:05:18,596 Anyway, all I know about him is... 106 00:05:19,847 --> 00:05:22,183 he's really hot, and he had... 107 00:05:23,517 --> 00:05:24,936 the strangest tattoo. 108 00:05:25,019 --> 00:05:27,189 It said "Fuck Newt Gingrich." 109 00:05:28,273 --> 00:05:29,398 Right here. 110 00:05:30,483 --> 00:05:32,027 "Fuck Newt Gingrich." 111 00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:34,112 - Did you say "Fuck Newt Gingrich?" - Yes. 112 00:05:34,196 --> 00:05:36,656 - You mean like this "Fuck Newt Gingrich" tattoo? 113 00:05:43,496 --> 00:05:44,455 - Gross. 114 00:05:44,539 --> 00:05:47,876 - I guess some of that got awful weird, huh? 115 00:05:48,335 --> 00:05:49,336 - It's fine. 116 00:05:49,418 --> 00:05:51,004 - Well, I didn't know you was my little girl. 117 00:05:51,087 --> 00:05:53,340 - Yeah, we didn't know! - We didn't know. 118 00:05:53,715 --> 00:05:56,509 - Anything I said to you as a whale, I take back. 119 00:05:59,595 --> 00:06:00,763 - I'm sorry, baby. 120 00:06:02,265 --> 00:06:03,725 I'm sorry I was a deadbeat. 121 00:06:03,808 --> 00:06:07,062 You know that Harley I got parked outside? 122 00:06:07,687 --> 00:06:08,688 I want you to have it. 123 00:06:09,272 --> 00:06:11,649 - No, I can't let you do that. Are you sure? 124 00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:12,567 - Okay. I'm su-- 125 00:06:12,650 --> 00:06:15,444 Baby, you gotta let me do this for you. 126 00:06:18,156 --> 00:06:20,783 - "Fuck Newt Gingrich." That's what it says. 127 00:06:21,951 --> 00:06:24,246 - Yeah, fuck him for all time. 128 00:06:26,706 --> 00:06:28,457 - How do you like my new bike? 129 00:06:28,541 --> 00:06:30,126 That wasn't my dad. 130 00:06:30,710 --> 00:06:33,380 I'm not that gross, come on! 131 00:06:33,462 --> 00:06:35,798 I saw that tattoo when he was booked, 132 00:06:35,882 --> 00:06:38,009 and I thought, "Well, I'm gonna have a little fun with him." 133 00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:42,931 And just for the record, my dad owns an erotic puppet theater in Tallahassee, 134 00:06:43,014 --> 00:06:46,475 and has to stay at least a 1000 yards away from me at all times. 10158

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