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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,403 --> 00:00:02,614 - JIM: The squirrels in the ducts are still there. 2 00:00:03,406 --> 00:00:04,699 - I hear 'em. 3 00:00:06,576 --> 00:00:09,412 - I feel like they're staring to... 4 00:00:11,414 --> 00:00:13,332 You know, the one with the... I feel... 5 00:00:13,416 --> 00:00:15,042 No one thinks that it sounds a little bit like, 6 00:00:15,126 --> 00:00:16,669 a tiny bit like they're singing? 7 00:00:17,629 --> 00:00:18,880 At all? 8 00:00:21,466 --> 00:00:23,175 They're not words but, you know... 9 00:00:23,259 --> 00:00:25,971 - It's... Yeah, I know what you mean. - They're not singing. I'm not crazy. 10 00:00:26,053 --> 00:00:27,764 - What do you hear them singing, Jim? 11 00:00:27,847 --> 00:00:29,933 - I don't... See. I knew you're gonna be... 12 00:00:30,016 --> 00:00:31,017 Everybody's gonna be dicks. 13 00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:35,062 I don't think the squirrels in the ducts are singing "words." 14 00:00:35,146 --> 00:00:38,065 They're not... They're not Marvin Hamlisch. 15 00:00:38,149 --> 00:00:42,069 - Maybe, just maybe... you need to take a break. 16 00:00:42,153 --> 00:00:47,241 You've been here for a long, damn time and maybe you need to just take a break. 17 00:00:47,325 --> 00:00:49,953 - There's a spa outside of Primm... 18 00:00:50,036 --> 00:00:51,788 - JONES: Yeah. - ...that's very nice. 19 00:00:51,871 --> 00:00:53,122 - Are you guys doing Of Mice and Men 20 00:00:53,205 --> 00:00:55,374 where you lead me out to Primm and then you shoot me in the head? 21 00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:56,334 - No! - TRAVIS: No! 22 00:00:56,417 --> 00:00:57,794 - God damn it. - TRAVIS: You can Google it. 23 00:00:57,877 --> 00:00:59,378 There's a very nice kind of a... - JAMES: Yeah. 24 00:00:59,462 --> 00:01:01,006 - ...like a spa thing... 25 00:01:01,088 --> 00:01:03,591 - Why is everybody so excited for me to go to Primm? 26 00:01:03,675 --> 00:01:04,843 What's going on? - TRAVIS: We're not excited. 27 00:01:04,926 --> 00:01:06,260 - We're worried about you. - We just think you need a break. 28 00:01:06,344 --> 00:01:08,179 You just said that the squirrels were singing. 29 00:01:08,262 --> 00:01:11,223 - Not words! They're not making words! 30 00:01:11,307 --> 00:01:13,685 I didn't say they were making words! 31 00:01:14,894 --> 00:01:16,563 - Jim, go to Primm. 32 00:01:16,646 --> 00:01:19,148 - Yeah, yeah, I'll go to Primm. - I think we all could use a break. 33 00:01:19,232 --> 00:01:20,274 - I'll go to Primm. 34 00:01:20,358 --> 00:01:22,485 - I hear 'em singing. - See? 35 00:01:27,657 --> 00:01:31,536 - Hey! I'm in a limo... sort of car. 36 00:01:31,619 --> 00:01:32,746 Hi! - Hey! 37 00:01:32,829 --> 00:01:35,122 - Just twerking in a limo. 38 00:01:35,206 --> 00:01:37,291 Twerking in a limo. - Don't hate. 39 00:01:37,375 --> 00:01:38,710 - Don't hate. - Don't hate. 40 00:01:38,793 --> 00:01:39,627 That's not safe, Jim. 41 00:01:53,641 --> 00:01:55,476 Do I have taffy in my teeth? 42 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:56,603 - Yes. - Oh, my God. 43 00:01:56,686 --> 00:01:58,229 - Quite a bit. I can't... - Well, get it. 44 00:01:58,312 --> 00:01:59,731 - Guys, guys, guys. 45 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,233 - Cut that shit out. You want a bullet in my head? 46 00:02:02,316 --> 00:02:03,777 - No, sir. - No, sir. Sorry, sir. 47 00:02:04,235 --> 00:02:07,280 - Decoy is called "Disco Duck," all right? 48 00:02:07,363 --> 00:02:09,240 - So it's not the real one. - It's not the real Bernie. 49 00:02:09,323 --> 00:02:11,785 We're gonna take the real Bernie offstage. 50 00:02:11,868 --> 00:02:13,244 - Okay. - Through the back. 51 00:02:13,327 --> 00:02:16,414 You're gonna take the Disco Duck through the front 52 00:02:16,497 --> 00:02:18,625 so everybody can see him, cause a distraction. 53 00:02:18,708 --> 00:02:19,834 You understand? - Yes, sir. 54 00:02:22,003 --> 00:02:23,964 - That guy was cool. - That guy was so fucking cool. 55 00:02:24,047 --> 00:02:25,966 - So fucking cool, man. - Wow! 56 00:02:27,759 --> 00:02:29,010 - Disco Duck. 57 00:02:29,094 --> 00:02:30,511 - Oh, my gosh! - Wow! 58 00:02:31,554 --> 00:02:33,098 - How're you doin'? - You're not... 59 00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:35,224 - Pleasure to meet you, "Bernie." 60 00:02:35,308 --> 00:02:37,310 - All right, your country depends on you. - Check. 61 00:02:37,393 --> 00:02:39,479 - All right. - Wow. 62 00:02:39,562 --> 00:02:42,149 - Hey. How are you guys? 63 00:02:42,231 --> 00:02:43,984 - JIM: So we can talk to you, really? 64 00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:45,026 - Yeah, of course you can. -Okay. 65 00:02:45,110 --> 00:02:47,278 - I'm just a guy... - Oh, God. It just felt weird. 66 00:02:47,361 --> 00:02:49,072 - I'm just an actor from LA. Just a guy. 67 00:02:49,156 --> 00:02:50,281 - Wow! - That's... Wow! 68 00:02:50,364 --> 00:02:52,909 - Wow! - I thought I recognized you. 69 00:02:52,993 --> 00:02:55,120 - I don't know if you're fans of Hogan's Heroes? 70 00:02:55,202 --> 00:02:57,330 - Who isn't? Come on. No. 71 00:02:57,413 --> 00:03:00,583 - I was an extra a lot on that show. 72 00:03:00,667 --> 00:03:02,585 - That's where I've seen you. - Yeah. 73 00:03:02,669 --> 00:03:07,174 I got to be really good friends with one Robert Crane. 74 00:03:08,091 --> 00:03:09,509 - Wow! - What a great guy... 75 00:03:09,592 --> 00:03:10,593 - Wow. - Yeah. 76 00:03:10,677 --> 00:03:13,429 If you know anything about-- - I don't, but I heard... 77 00:03:13,513 --> 00:03:15,056 I mean, he seems amazing. - He was so... 78 00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:16,766 I wondered what happened to him 'cause he was so... 79 00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:20,728 - Handsome. So handsome. - He got killed by a good friend of his. 80 00:03:21,395 --> 00:03:24,231 Me, him and Schultz, right? 81 00:03:24,315 --> 00:03:25,441 - Schultz? - You know the Sergeant? 82 00:03:25,525 --> 00:03:26,526 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 83 00:03:26,609 --> 00:03:28,778 "No, no, no! No one is saying..." 84 00:03:28,862 --> 00:03:31,531 - We used to gallivant around Sunset Boulevard. 85 00:03:31,614 --> 00:03:32,907 - JIM: No. - TRAVIS: Wow! 86 00:03:32,991 --> 00:03:35,869 - JIM: Wow! - Having so much sex. 87 00:03:36,494 --> 00:03:39,413 No, I'm talking about just blowjob... 88 00:03:41,582 --> 00:03:43,250 Hey, you guys like to party? 89 00:03:43,334 --> 00:03:44,711 You guys like to party a little bit? 90 00:03:46,921 --> 00:03:49,507 - I am gonna look up for a second. - We're gonna look that way. 91 00:03:52,719 --> 00:03:53,761 - JACKIE: Yeah. - There she is. 92 00:03:53,845 --> 00:03:55,680 - JACK: Yeah! - JONES: Okay. 93 00:03:55,763 --> 00:03:57,807 - JACK: Hello. - No, thank you. 94 00:03:57,891 --> 00:03:59,226 If I say "no, thank you"... 95 00:04:01,019 --> 00:04:03,646 Hold my call. Hello. 96 00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:05,023 This is Jackie. Yes. 97 00:04:05,106 --> 00:04:07,274 - You don't get service. - Shut the... 98 00:04:07,358 --> 00:04:08,735 - Hey, you gotta pick this stuff up. 99 00:04:08,818 --> 00:04:10,820 - You have to pick it all up, how 'bout that? 100 00:04:10,904 --> 00:04:12,030 - No, no, no, no. - Come on! 101 00:04:12,113 --> 00:04:14,741 - Now you have to pick it all up. - JONES: No. No. No, Jackie. 102 00:04:14,824 --> 00:04:17,451 - JACKIE: Don't touch! That's my stuff. - JAMES: What are they? 103 00:04:17,535 --> 00:04:19,328 - Poussin, smartass. What do you think this is? 104 00:04:19,412 --> 00:04:21,789 It's used condoms and teeth in the bottom of the baggy. 105 00:04:21,873 --> 00:04:22,999 Everybody's got those. 106 00:04:23,083 --> 00:04:24,625 - Jackie, please come with us. 107 00:04:24,709 --> 00:04:26,460 - We don't wanna touch you. - You think I don't... 108 00:04:26,544 --> 00:04:27,670 - Please, come on. Just... 109 00:04:27,754 --> 00:04:30,006 - That came out of my nose. - Oh, man! 110 00:04:30,090 --> 00:04:32,842 - JACKIE: This happened again. - Let's do a thing. 111 00:04:32,926 --> 00:04:34,886 Just follow... follow me. - Okay. 112 00:04:34,969 --> 00:04:38,181 - Hey, the two of us would like 113 00:04:38,265 --> 00:04:41,392 to obtain your services, so... 114 00:04:41,475 --> 00:04:43,686 - But we want to do it... Yeah. -...in the car. 115 00:04:43,770 --> 00:04:46,397 - God damn, I haven't even had breakfast yet. 116 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,775 Well, let me first make sure I'm not pregnant. 117 00:04:49,316 --> 00:04:51,027 - What're you doing? Oh, don't! No, don't pee! 118 00:04:51,111 --> 00:04:53,529 -JACKIE: Hold on! It's for your own good. You want to fuckin'... 119 00:04:53,613 --> 00:04:54,697 You want to pay alimony for the rest of the year? 120 00:04:54,781 --> 00:04:57,742 - JACK: That would be the least of my worries, that you're pregnant... 121 00:04:57,825 --> 00:05:00,369 - I'm checking it. I'm checking it. - JACK: She just peed... 122 00:05:00,453 --> 00:05:03,081 - No, we're good. Where do you want it? 123 00:05:03,164 --> 00:05:03,998 - In the car. - Yeah. 124 00:05:04,082 --> 00:05:05,083 - In the butt? - Yeah. 125 00:05:06,584 --> 00:05:08,711 - Yes, but in the car. - Okay. 126 00:05:08,795 --> 00:05:10,588 - Come on. - I don't feel like it! 127 00:05:10,671 --> 00:05:11,965 - Let's go. - What kind of party can we have 128 00:05:12,048 --> 00:05:14,383 with a laxative and some petroleum jelly? 129 00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:16,303 It's nice in here. - JACK: Yeah, there you go. 130 00:05:16,385 --> 00:05:17,344 - JACKIE: Okay. - Put that up. 131 00:05:17,428 --> 00:05:18,888 - Okay. - JACKIE: Help. 132 00:05:18,972 --> 00:05:20,890 JACKIE: Oh, I'm shitting. 133 00:05:21,474 --> 00:05:23,101 - JACK: You said you're shitting? - JACKIE: No! 134 00:05:28,356 --> 00:05:30,066 - JIM: I'm gonna look over here. 135 00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:32,401 - How did you get the decoy work? 136 00:05:32,485 --> 00:05:33,945 - I've done decoy work before. 137 00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:37,532 I did Biden when he was VP. - You did Biden? 138 00:05:37,615 --> 00:05:41,536 - I've done the late Joe McCarthy who ran the blacklist... 139 00:05:41,619 --> 00:05:42,453 - Wonderful guy. 140 00:05:42,537 --> 00:05:44,580 - Okay, guys. Thirty seconds to Disco Duck. 141 00:05:44,664 --> 00:05:46,499 Thirty seconds to Disco Duck. - Thank God. 142 00:05:46,582 --> 00:05:48,293 - Okay. - He's really with you, right? 143 00:05:48,376 --> 00:05:49,336 - Twenty-five seconds. 144 00:05:49,418 --> 00:05:51,004 - Look, I'm gonna take a little hit. 145 00:05:51,087 --> 00:05:52,547 - JIM: I'm gonna look the other way. - Before we go... 146 00:05:52,630 --> 00:05:54,590 - Ten seconds to Disco Duck! - Yes, sir. 147 00:05:54,674 --> 00:05:55,925 - Okay. - Here we go. 148 00:05:56,551 --> 00:05:57,677 - You kinda have some... - Here, here, here. 149 00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,804 - You sure you're good? 'Cause that was kind of a lot. Okay. 150 00:06:00,429 --> 00:06:02,598 Here we go. Here he is, everybody. 151 00:06:03,474 --> 00:06:05,935 - TRAVIS: Just move him. Just move him. - That's him. 152 00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,479 Nothing to see here. 153 00:06:08,563 --> 00:06:10,315 - I am the real Bernie. 154 00:06:10,398 --> 00:06:11,816 - That's him. - CROWD: Bernie! 155 00:06:13,151 --> 00:06:15,570 - JIM: That's him. - I am the real Bernie. 156 00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:18,990 - MAN: Shit. Shit! 157 00:06:19,908 --> 00:06:20,867 Can we get him in? 158 00:06:20,950 --> 00:06:22,410 - TRAVIS: He's fine! - Shit. 159 00:06:23,786 --> 00:06:24,913 - JIM: Oh, my God! 160 00:06:24,996 --> 00:06:27,999 - TRAVIS: You got the EpiPen or anything? He's not breathing. 161 00:06:29,751 --> 00:06:31,460 - Oh, he's dead. - Oh, God! 162 00:06:31,544 --> 00:06:33,838 - We were in a car with a dead guy. - He's dead, he's dead. What do we do? 163 00:06:33,922 --> 00:06:36,258 - We're in so much trouble. - We just call the Secret Service. 164 00:06:36,341 --> 00:06:37,926 What do we do? What do we do? - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Check it out. 165 00:06:38,009 --> 00:06:39,802 Check it out. Check it out. - That's me. 166 00:06:39,886 --> 00:06:41,096 - Oh, my God. - That's you! 167 00:06:41,179 --> 00:06:42,931 - Hey, we're on the news! Look at that! - We're on TV! 168 00:06:43,014 --> 00:06:44,224 - Wow! - Wow! 169 00:06:44,766 --> 00:06:46,309 We're also on this one. 170 00:06:48,061 --> 00:06:50,188 - Honolulu. - Neat. 171 00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:56,778 "Bernie Sanders collapses dead in the Reno-Sparks Convention Center." 172 00:06:58,029 --> 00:07:00,115 - Let's dump him. Let's just dump him. 173 00:07:00,198 --> 00:07:01,408 Let's just push him out of the car. 174 00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:03,326 - We're in Sparks now, a little bit. 175 00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:06,371 If Sparks SD finds a body? - Not our problem. 176 00:07:06,454 --> 00:07:08,123 - With my fingerprints? - Oh, fuck. 177 00:07:09,207 --> 00:07:10,417 - Sorry, sir. 178 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,003 - All right, I got it. I'll hold on to it. I'll hold on to it. 179 00:07:14,087 --> 00:07:15,171 I'll put it in evidence. - Okay. 180 00:07:15,255 --> 00:07:16,381 Somebody know what these are? 181 00:07:17,424 --> 00:07:19,259 Watch him. - Yeah. No, no, no, I take these. 182 00:07:19,342 --> 00:07:20,343 - Yeah. - Yeah, I take these. 183 00:07:20,427 --> 00:07:22,804 - Those are like mama's little helpers. - Those are mama's little helpers. 184 00:07:22,887 --> 00:07:25,473 - Never doing that. - Pulled these off of him earlier. 185 00:07:25,556 --> 00:07:27,558 - These will help carry him. If we're gonna... 186 00:07:27,642 --> 00:07:28,768 - JIM: We're gonna carry him. 187 00:07:28,851 --> 00:07:31,438 - If we're gonna carry him 40 feet, I'm just sayin'. 188 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:32,521 - JIM: Sorry. 189 00:07:35,858 --> 00:07:38,653 - Okay. Yeah, let's do it. 190 00:07:42,365 --> 00:07:44,951 - Hi! - CROWD: Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! 191 00:07:45,034 --> 00:07:48,579 Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! 192 00:07:48,663 --> 00:07:52,167 Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! 193 00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:53,668 - JIM: Go, go, go, go, go! 194 00:07:54,794 --> 00:07:56,838 Holy shit, Susan Sarandon! 15111

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