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1
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- JIM: The squirrels in the ducts
are still there.
2
00:00:03,406 --> 00:00:04,699
- I hear 'em.
3
00:00:06,576 --> 00:00:09,412
- I feel like they're staring to...
4
00:00:11,414 --> 00:00:13,332
You know, the one with the... I feel...
5
00:00:13,416 --> 00:00:15,042
No one thinks that it sounds
a little bit like,
6
00:00:15,126 --> 00:00:16,669
a tiny bit like they're singing?
7
00:00:17,629 --> 00:00:18,880
At all?
8
00:00:21,466 --> 00:00:23,175
They're not words but, you know...
9
00:00:23,259 --> 00:00:25,971
- It's... Yeah, I know what you mean.
- They're not singing. I'm not crazy.
10
00:00:26,053 --> 00:00:27,764
- What do you hear them singing, Jim?
11
00:00:27,847 --> 00:00:29,933
- I don't... See.
I knew you're gonna be...
12
00:00:30,016 --> 00:00:31,017
Everybody's gonna be dicks.
13
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:35,062
I don't think the squirrels in the ducts
are singing "words."
14
00:00:35,146 --> 00:00:38,065
They're not...
They're not Marvin Hamlisch.
15
00:00:38,149 --> 00:00:42,069
- Maybe, just maybe...
you need to take a break.
16
00:00:42,153 --> 00:00:47,241
You've been here for a long, damn time
and maybe you need to just take a break.
17
00:00:47,325 --> 00:00:49,953
- There's a spa outside of Primm...
18
00:00:50,036 --> 00:00:51,788
- JONES: Yeah.
- ...that's very nice.
19
00:00:51,871 --> 00:00:53,122
- Are you guys doing Of Mice and Men
20
00:00:53,205 --> 00:00:55,374
where you lead me out to Primm
and then you shoot me in the head?
21
00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:56,334
- No!
- TRAVIS: No!
22
00:00:56,417 --> 00:00:57,794
- God damn it.
- TRAVIS: You can Google it.
23
00:00:57,877 --> 00:00:59,378
There's a very nice kind of a...
- JAMES: Yeah.
24
00:00:59,462 --> 00:01:01,006
- ...like a spa thing...
25
00:01:01,088 --> 00:01:03,591
- Why is everybody so excited
for me to go to Primm?
26
00:01:03,675 --> 00:01:04,843
What's going on?
- TRAVIS: We're not excited.
27
00:01:04,926 --> 00:01:06,260
- We're worried about you.
- We just think you need a break.
28
00:01:06,344 --> 00:01:08,179
You just said that the squirrels
were singing.
29
00:01:08,262 --> 00:01:11,223
- Not words! They're not making words!
30
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I didn't say they were making words!
31
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- Jim, go to Primm.
32
00:01:16,646 --> 00:01:19,148
- Yeah, yeah, I'll go to Primm.
- I think we all could use a break.
33
00:01:19,232 --> 00:01:20,274
- I'll go to Primm.
34
00:01:20,358 --> 00:01:22,485
- I hear 'em singing.
- See?
35
00:01:27,657 --> 00:01:31,536
- Hey! I'm in a limo... sort of car.
36
00:01:31,619 --> 00:01:32,746
Hi!
- Hey!
37
00:01:32,829 --> 00:01:35,122
- Just twerking in a limo.
38
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Twerking in a limo.
- Don't hate.
39
00:01:37,375 --> 00:01:38,710
- Don't hate.
- Don't hate.
40
00:01:38,793 --> 00:01:39,627
That's not safe, Jim.
41
00:01:53,641 --> 00:01:55,476
Do I have taffy in my teeth?
42
00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:56,603
- Yes.
- Oh, my God.
43
00:01:56,686 --> 00:01:58,229
- Quite a bit. I can't...
- Well, get it.
44
00:01:58,312 --> 00:01:59,731
- Guys, guys, guys.
45
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,233
- Cut that shit out.
You want a bullet in my head?
46
00:02:02,316 --> 00:02:03,777
- No, sir.
- No, sir. Sorry, sir.
47
00:02:04,235 --> 00:02:07,280
- Decoy is called "Disco Duck," all right?
48
00:02:07,363 --> 00:02:09,240
- So it's not the real one.
- It's not the real Bernie.
49
00:02:09,323 --> 00:02:11,785
We're gonna take the real Bernie offstage.
50
00:02:11,868 --> 00:02:13,244
- Okay.
- Through the back.
51
00:02:13,327 --> 00:02:16,414
You're gonna take the Disco Duck
through the front
52
00:02:16,497 --> 00:02:18,625
so everybody can see him,
cause a distraction.
53
00:02:18,708 --> 00:02:19,834
You understand?
- Yes, sir.
54
00:02:22,003 --> 00:02:23,964
- That guy was cool.
- That guy was so fucking cool.
55
00:02:24,047 --> 00:02:25,966
- So fucking cool, man.
- Wow!
56
00:02:27,759 --> 00:02:29,010
- Disco Duck.
57
00:02:29,094 --> 00:02:30,511
- Oh, my gosh!
- Wow!
58
00:02:31,554 --> 00:02:33,098
- How're you doin'?
- You're not...
59
00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:35,224
- Pleasure to meet you, "Bernie."
60
00:02:35,308 --> 00:02:37,310
- All right, your country depends on you.
- Check.
61
00:02:37,393 --> 00:02:39,479
- All right.
- Wow.
62
00:02:39,562 --> 00:02:42,149
- Hey. How are you guys?
63
00:02:42,231 --> 00:02:43,984
- JIM: So we can talk to you, really?
64
00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:45,026
- Yeah, of course you can.
-Okay.
65
00:02:45,110 --> 00:02:47,278
- I'm just a guy...
- Oh, God. It just felt weird.
66
00:02:47,361 --> 00:02:49,072
- I'm just an actor from LA. Just a guy.
67
00:02:49,156 --> 00:02:50,281
- Wow!
- That's... Wow!
68
00:02:50,364 --> 00:02:52,909
- Wow!
- I thought I recognized you.
69
00:02:52,993 --> 00:02:55,120
- I don't know if you're fans
of Hogan's Heroes?
70
00:02:55,202 --> 00:02:57,330
- Who isn't? Come on. No.
71
00:02:57,413 --> 00:03:00,583
- I was an extra a lot on that show.
72
00:03:00,667 --> 00:03:02,585
- That's where I've seen you.
- Yeah.
73
00:03:02,669 --> 00:03:07,174
I got to be really good friends
with one Robert Crane.
74
00:03:08,091 --> 00:03:09,509
- Wow!
- What a great guy...
75
00:03:09,592 --> 00:03:10,593
- Wow.
- Yeah.
76
00:03:10,677 --> 00:03:13,429
If you know anything about--
- I don't, but I heard...
77
00:03:13,513 --> 00:03:15,056
I mean, he seems amazing.
- He was so...
78
00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:16,766
I wondered what happened to him
'cause he was so...
79
00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:20,728
- Handsome. So handsome.
- He got killed by a good friend of his.
80
00:03:21,395 --> 00:03:24,231
Me, him and Schultz, right?
81
00:03:24,315 --> 00:03:25,441
- Schultz?
- You know the Sergeant?
82
00:03:25,525 --> 00:03:26,526
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
83
00:03:26,609 --> 00:03:28,778
"No, no, no! No one is saying..."
84
00:03:28,862 --> 00:03:31,531
- We used to gallivant
around Sunset Boulevard.
85
00:03:31,614 --> 00:03:32,907
- JIM: No.
- TRAVIS: Wow!
86
00:03:32,991 --> 00:03:35,869
- JIM: Wow!
- Having so much sex.
87
00:03:36,494 --> 00:03:39,413
No, I'm talking about just blowjob...
88
00:03:41,582 --> 00:03:43,250
Hey, you guys like to party?
89
00:03:43,334 --> 00:03:44,711
You guys like to party a little bit?
90
00:03:46,921 --> 00:03:49,507
- I am gonna look up for a second.
- We're gonna look that way.
91
00:03:52,719 --> 00:03:53,761
- JACKIE: Yeah.
- There she is.
92
00:03:53,845 --> 00:03:55,680
- JACK: Yeah!
- JONES: Okay.
93
00:03:55,763 --> 00:03:57,807
- JACK: Hello.
- No, thank you.
94
00:03:57,891 --> 00:03:59,226
If I say "no, thank you"...
95
00:04:01,019 --> 00:04:03,646
Hold my call. Hello.
96
00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:05,023
This is Jackie. Yes.
97
00:04:05,106 --> 00:04:07,274
- You don't get service.
- Shut the...
98
00:04:07,358 --> 00:04:08,735
- Hey, you gotta pick this stuff up.
99
00:04:08,818 --> 00:04:10,820
- You have to pick it all up,
how 'bout that?
100
00:04:10,904 --> 00:04:12,030
- No, no, no, no.
- Come on!
101
00:04:12,113 --> 00:04:14,741
- Now you have to pick it all up.
- JONES: No. No. No, Jackie.
102
00:04:14,824 --> 00:04:17,451
- JACKIE: Don't touch! That's my stuff.
- JAMES: What are they?
103
00:04:17,535 --> 00:04:19,328
- Poussin, smartass.
What do you think this is?
104
00:04:19,412 --> 00:04:21,789
It's used condoms and teeth
in the bottom of the baggy.
105
00:04:21,873 --> 00:04:22,999
Everybody's got those.
106
00:04:23,083 --> 00:04:24,625
- Jackie, please come with us.
107
00:04:24,709 --> 00:04:26,460
- We don't wanna touch you.
- You think I don't...
108
00:04:26,544 --> 00:04:27,670
- Please, come on. Just...
109
00:04:27,754 --> 00:04:30,006
- That came out of my nose.
- Oh, man!
110
00:04:30,090 --> 00:04:32,842
- JACKIE: This happened again.
- Let's do a thing.
111
00:04:32,926 --> 00:04:34,886
Just follow... follow me.
- Okay.
112
00:04:34,969 --> 00:04:38,181
- Hey, the two of us would like
113
00:04:38,265 --> 00:04:41,392
to obtain your services, so...
114
00:04:41,475 --> 00:04:43,686
- But we want to do it... Yeah.
-...in the car.
115
00:04:43,770 --> 00:04:46,397
- God damn,
I haven't even had breakfast yet.
116
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,775
Well, let me first make sure
I'm not pregnant.
117
00:04:49,316 --> 00:04:51,027
- What're you doing? Oh, don't!
No, don't pee!
118
00:04:51,111 --> 00:04:53,529
-JACKIE: Hold on! It's for your own good.
You want to fuckin'...
119
00:04:53,613 --> 00:04:54,697
You want to pay alimony
for the rest of the year?
120
00:04:54,781 --> 00:04:57,742
- JACK: That would be the least
of my worries, that you're pregnant...
121
00:04:57,825 --> 00:05:00,369
- I'm checking it. I'm checking it.
- JACK: She just peed...
122
00:05:00,453 --> 00:05:03,081
- No, we're good. Where do you want it?
123
00:05:03,164 --> 00:05:03,998
- In the car.
- Yeah.
124
00:05:04,082 --> 00:05:05,083
- In the butt?
- Yeah.
125
00:05:06,584 --> 00:05:08,711
- Yes, but in the car.
- Okay.
126
00:05:08,795 --> 00:05:10,588
- Come on.
- I don't feel like it!
127
00:05:10,671 --> 00:05:11,965
- Let's go.
- What kind of party can we have
128
00:05:12,048 --> 00:05:14,383
with a laxative and some petroleum jelly?
129
00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:16,303
It's nice in here.
- JACK: Yeah, there you go.
130
00:05:16,385 --> 00:05:17,344
- JACKIE: Okay.
- Put that up.
131
00:05:17,428 --> 00:05:18,888
- Okay.
- JACKIE: Help.
132
00:05:18,972 --> 00:05:20,890
JACKIE: Oh, I'm shitting.
133
00:05:21,474 --> 00:05:23,101
- JACK: You said you're shitting?
- JACKIE: No!
134
00:05:28,356 --> 00:05:30,066
- JIM: I'm gonna look over here.
135
00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:32,401
- How did you get the decoy work?
136
00:05:32,485 --> 00:05:33,945
- I've done decoy work before.
137
00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:37,532
I did Biden when he was VP.
- You did Biden?
138
00:05:37,615 --> 00:05:41,536
- I've done the late Joe McCarthy
who ran the blacklist...
139
00:05:41,619 --> 00:05:42,453
- Wonderful guy.
140
00:05:42,537 --> 00:05:44,580
- Okay, guys.
Thirty seconds to Disco Duck.
141
00:05:44,664 --> 00:05:46,499
Thirty seconds to Disco Duck.
- Thank God.
142
00:05:46,582 --> 00:05:48,293
- Okay.
- He's really with you, right?
143
00:05:48,376 --> 00:05:49,336
- Twenty-five seconds.
144
00:05:49,418 --> 00:05:51,004
- Look, I'm gonna take a little hit.
145
00:05:51,087 --> 00:05:52,547
- JIM: I'm gonna look the other way.
- Before we go...
146
00:05:52,630 --> 00:05:54,590
- Ten seconds to Disco Duck!
- Yes, sir.
147
00:05:54,674 --> 00:05:55,925
- Okay.
- Here we go.
148
00:05:56,551 --> 00:05:57,677
- You kinda have some...
- Here, here, here.
149
00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,804
- You sure you're good?
'Cause that was kind of a lot. Okay.
150
00:06:00,429 --> 00:06:02,598
Here we go. Here he is, everybody.
151
00:06:03,474 --> 00:06:05,935
- TRAVIS: Just move him. Just move him.
- That's him.
152
00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,479
Nothing to see here.
153
00:06:08,563 --> 00:06:10,315
- I am the real Bernie.
154
00:06:10,398 --> 00:06:11,816
- That's him.
- CROWD: Bernie!
155
00:06:13,151 --> 00:06:15,570
- JIM: That's him.
- I am the real Bernie.
156
00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:18,990
- MAN: Shit. Shit!
157
00:06:19,908 --> 00:06:20,867
Can we get him in?
158
00:06:20,950 --> 00:06:22,410
- TRAVIS: He's fine!
- Shit.
159
00:06:23,786 --> 00:06:24,913
- JIM: Oh, my God!
160
00:06:24,996 --> 00:06:27,999
- TRAVIS: You got the EpiPen or anything?
He's not breathing.
161
00:06:29,751 --> 00:06:31,460
- Oh, he's dead.
- Oh, God!
162
00:06:31,544 --> 00:06:33,838
- We were in a car with a dead guy.
- He's dead, he's dead. What do we do?
163
00:06:33,922 --> 00:06:36,258
- We're in so much trouble.
- We just call the Secret Service.
164
00:06:36,341 --> 00:06:37,926
What do we do? What do we do?
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Check it out.
165
00:06:38,009 --> 00:06:39,802
Check it out. Check it out.
- That's me.
166
00:06:39,886 --> 00:06:41,096
- Oh, my God.
- That's you!
167
00:06:41,179 --> 00:06:42,931
- Hey, we're on the news! Look at that!
- We're on TV!
168
00:06:43,014 --> 00:06:44,224
- Wow!
- Wow!
169
00:06:44,766 --> 00:06:46,309
We're also on this one.
170
00:06:48,061 --> 00:06:50,188
- Honolulu.
- Neat.
171
00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:56,778
"Bernie Sanders collapses dead in
the Reno-Sparks Convention Center."
172
00:06:58,029 --> 00:07:00,115
- Let's dump him. Let's just dump him.
173
00:07:00,198 --> 00:07:01,408
Let's just push him out of the car.
174
00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:03,326
- We're in Sparks now, a little bit.
175
00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:06,371
If Sparks SD finds a body?
- Not our problem.
176
00:07:06,454 --> 00:07:08,123
- With my fingerprints?
- Oh, fuck.
177
00:07:09,207 --> 00:07:10,417
- Sorry, sir.
178
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,003
- All right, I got it. I'll hold on to it.
I'll hold on to it.
179
00:07:14,087 --> 00:07:15,171
I'll put it in evidence.
- Okay.
180
00:07:15,255 --> 00:07:16,381
Somebody know what these are?
181
00:07:17,424 --> 00:07:19,259
Watch him.
- Yeah. No, no, no, I take these.
182
00:07:19,342 --> 00:07:20,343
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I take these.
183
00:07:20,427 --> 00:07:22,804
- Those are like mama's little helpers.
- Those are mama's little helpers.
184
00:07:22,887 --> 00:07:25,473
- Never doing that.
- Pulled these off of him earlier.
185
00:07:25,556 --> 00:07:27,558
- These will help carry him.
If we're gonna...
186
00:07:27,642 --> 00:07:28,768
- JIM: We're gonna carry him.
187
00:07:28,851 --> 00:07:31,438
- If we're gonna carry him 40 feet,
I'm just sayin'.
188
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:32,521
- JIM: Sorry.
189
00:07:35,858 --> 00:07:38,653
- Okay. Yeah, let's do it.
190
00:07:42,365 --> 00:07:44,951
- Hi!
- CROWD: Bernie, Bernie, Bernie!
191
00:07:45,034 --> 00:07:48,579
Bernie, Bernie, Bernie!
Bernie, Bernie, Bernie!
192
00:07:48,663 --> 00:07:52,167
Bernie, Bernie, Bernie!
Bernie, Bernie, Bernie!
193
00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:53,668
- JIM: Go, go, go, go, go!
194
00:07:54,794 --> 00:07:56,838
Holy shit, Susan Sarandon!
15111
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