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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,445 --> 00:00:02,989 - OK, Gary, so why don't you tell me what happened? 2 00:00:03,072 --> 00:00:04,950 - I'm being prejudiced against is what's happened. 3 00:00:05,032 --> 00:00:07,201 People are seeing a simple white man and they're going, 4 00:00:07,285 --> 00:00:09,328 "I'm black. I think I'm better than you." 5 00:00:09,412 --> 00:00:11,414 "I'm a proud gay." 6 00:00:11,497 --> 00:00:15,418 "I'ma make sure a white man's rights are taken away." 7 00:00:15,501 --> 00:00:17,295 - So... - Just because I'm... 8 00:00:17,378 --> 00:00:20,548 - ...you called me because you feel like your feelings have been hurt? 9 00:00:20,632 --> 00:00:23,509 - Did you not see that? My rights are being taken away right now! 10 00:00:23,593 --> 00:00:25,177 There are people coming up and saying, 11 00:00:25,261 --> 00:00:28,389 "Just because I'm transgender, I'm special. I have--" 12 00:00:29,515 --> 00:00:33,144 - No, that's not a crime. - Judaism is a plague! 13 00:00:33,227 --> 00:00:35,855 It's coming across and making sure that everybody wants-- 14 00:00:37,774 --> 00:00:40,819 - OK, Gary, listen, has any kind of crime-- 15 00:00:40,902 --> 00:00:42,821 I'm just hearing that your feelings are hurt. 16 00:00:42,904 --> 00:00:45,991 - My feelings are not hurt. My land is being taken away on a daily-- 17 00:00:46,908 --> 00:00:50,119 - So someone stole land from you, is this what I'm hearing? 18 00:00:51,162 --> 00:00:54,749 You can't hold that in your hand so I can't really call that a theft. 19 00:00:54,833 --> 00:00:56,250 - They're gonna steal away the election. 20 00:00:56,334 --> 00:00:59,295 They're gonna steal away the White House. They're gonna make sure-- 21 00:00:59,921 --> 00:01:01,255 I can identify that one. 22 00:01:02,214 --> 00:01:03,842 They're taking away my right to free speech. 23 00:01:04,550 --> 00:01:07,053 - That's fucked up, Gary. That, I don't agree with. 24 00:01:11,933 --> 00:01:16,228 I personally don't love this idea of us shooting a white guy 25 00:01:16,312 --> 00:01:17,647 to make us look better. 26 00:01:18,065 --> 00:01:21,234 Mostly because I'm the one who has to do all the paperwork 27 00:01:21,317 --> 00:01:23,570 any time someone discharges their weapon. 28 00:01:24,237 --> 00:01:26,531 And I got a lot of shit to do this week. 29 00:01:29,659 --> 00:01:31,327 Pardon my French but... 30 00:01:32,495 --> 00:01:34,789 this butthole isn't gonna wax itself. 31 00:01:35,164 --> 00:01:38,793 Hey, do me a favor, if you notice a white guy that I miss, let me know. 32 00:01:39,961 --> 00:01:42,296 I tend to ignore the white guys 'cause, usually, they're not a problem. 33 00:01:42,380 --> 00:01:43,548 I never said that. 34 00:01:44,257 --> 00:01:47,052 - ♪ Looking for a white guy to shoot! ♪ 35 00:01:47,844 --> 00:01:49,470 ♪ Looking for a... white guy. ♪ 36 00:01:50,137 --> 00:01:51,765 ...Shit! 37 00:01:55,351 --> 00:01:57,311 - JACK: This is it. This it right here. - CHERISHA: Yep. 38 00:01:57,395 --> 00:02:00,189 - JACK: You know these guys are unarmed, and they couldn't be any whiter. 39 00:02:00,273 --> 00:02:01,900 - CHERISHA: One for you, one for me. 40 00:02:03,110 --> 00:02:04,277 - MAN 1: This place is awful. 41 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:05,695 - JONES: Hey, guys. - CHERISHA: Mornin'. 42 00:02:05,779 --> 00:02:06,696 - Hi, officer. - Hi, officers. 43 00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:11,952 - I wouldn't mind talking to you about... The Book of Mormon. 44 00:02:12,035 --> 00:02:12,994 - Sure. - OK. 45 00:02:13,078 --> 00:02:16,081 - I'm sorry. Do you mind just taking your hand off the gun for a second? 46 00:02:16,163 --> 00:02:17,498 It just makes me really nervous. 47 00:02:17,582 --> 00:02:19,166 - I'm nervous, too. - I wasn't even noticing. 48 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:21,002 - It's just instinct, you know. - Yeah. 49 00:02:21,086 --> 00:02:23,463 - We just truly wanna take about faith. - Sure. Yeah. 50 00:02:23,546 --> 00:02:28,175 - I'm a woman of deep faith but I've been shopping around for a new one. 51 00:02:28,259 --> 00:02:30,762 - Elder, Elder, we have to get back. - We're just-- 52 00:02:30,845 --> 00:02:32,221 - Well, just stay close to me... -Yeah. 53 00:02:32,305 --> 00:02:35,600 - Answer any questions I might have? You know what I'm saying? 54 00:02:35,683 --> 00:02:37,226 - Elder? - We're on a mission-- 55 00:02:37,310 --> 00:02:39,479 - Elder, go! Go, go, go! - We just wanna talk to you, come on! 56 00:02:39,562 --> 00:02:40,814 You don't need to... Now, look! 57 00:02:40,897 --> 00:02:43,775 Take a shot! Take a shot! Oh, Jesus! 58 00:02:44,275 --> 00:02:46,861 Take a-- What? Declan! 59 00:02:46,945 --> 00:02:49,489 - Go, go, get 'em! - Jesus! Take a shot, you got 'em! 60 00:02:49,572 --> 00:02:50,824 - You do it! - You do it! 61 00:02:50,907 --> 00:02:52,617 - I can't move! - I'm not gonna-- 62 00:02:56,830 --> 00:02:59,624 - TRUDY: Hey, followers! It's Trudy Wiegel here... 63 00:03:00,207 --> 00:03:03,377 with Trudy Trending Tip 6,428. 64 00:03:05,088 --> 00:03:09,717 I'm gonna show you how you can do some beauty stuff on a budget. 65 00:03:10,426 --> 00:03:14,305 So today we're gonna talk about getting rid of unwanted body hair. 66 00:03:14,889 --> 00:03:17,308 So what I figured out was, 67 00:03:17,391 --> 00:03:19,811 if you just go to your local hardware store 68 00:03:19,894 --> 00:03:22,939 and pick up just your standard rat glue trap... 69 00:03:23,815 --> 00:03:25,566 you can do your own waxing at home. 70 00:03:26,151 --> 00:03:29,445 Or if you have a gently used one in your garage, 71 00:03:29,529 --> 00:03:30,655 that's probably OK, too. 72 00:03:31,156 --> 00:03:34,868 So it's really pretty self-explanatory... 73 00:03:35,326 --> 00:03:39,580 you got some unwanted hair and you got a rat glue trap. 74 00:03:41,166 --> 00:03:43,210 I probably don't have to talk you through this but... 75 00:03:45,712 --> 00:03:46,796 I will. 76 00:03:47,881 --> 00:03:48,882 So... 77 00:03:51,759 --> 00:03:52,760 I just... 78 00:03:53,302 --> 00:03:57,140 I mean, I haven't tried this before but I'm just gonna count. 79 00:03:57,224 --> 00:04:00,309 One... two... 80 00:04:03,312 --> 00:04:04,397 Fuck! 81 00:04:05,439 --> 00:04:06,524 Fuck me! 82 00:04:09,903 --> 00:04:12,530 - Responding to a call from Gary. 83 00:04:12,613 --> 00:04:14,949 What? Gary is like a... - He's a racist. 84 00:04:15,449 --> 00:04:18,285 - Well, yeah... Proud... Proud boy. - Rally organizer. 85 00:04:18,912 --> 00:04:19,954 - ...come on, guys! 86 00:04:20,038 --> 00:04:21,915 - Oh, they're cool, fellows. It's cool. 87 00:04:22,582 --> 00:04:24,792 Thank you for calling. Hey, DJ. 88 00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:27,503 - So what happens when you call 911, Gary? 89 00:04:27,587 --> 00:04:30,757 - A little bird told me you all are looking to... 90 00:04:31,716 --> 00:04:33,176 shoot somebody? 91 00:04:33,885 --> 00:04:36,303 - Hey, hey, hey! - Hey! 92 00:04:36,387 --> 00:04:37,430 Hey! 93 00:04:38,139 --> 00:04:39,724 - What if I told you... 94 00:04:41,434 --> 00:04:45,646 I want you to shoot... moi? 95 00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:50,026 - Why do you want us to shoot you? 96 00:04:50,110 --> 00:04:52,779 - You guys shoot a white man. - Yeah, yeah. 97 00:04:52,862 --> 00:04:54,906 - And now all of a sudden, 98 00:04:54,989 --> 00:04:57,909 the Reno Sheriff's Department shoots everybody. 99 00:04:57,992 --> 00:05:00,327 Black people aren't victimized... 100 00:05:00,411 --> 00:05:03,623 they're just one of many victims that we terrorize. 101 00:05:03,706 --> 00:05:04,707 - They're one of-- 102 00:05:04,791 --> 00:05:07,585 They just happen to be the vast majority but not exclusively. 103 00:05:07,668 --> 00:05:10,004 - Not exclusively. Not exclusively. - Not exclusively. 104 00:05:10,088 --> 00:05:12,339 - We're equal opportunity shooters. - Yes, yes. 105 00:05:12,423 --> 00:05:15,342 - I don't hate this idea. - We're the same, you and me. 106 00:05:16,427 --> 00:05:18,096 We're the same. - OK. Stop! 107 00:05:18,179 --> 00:05:19,306 - GARY: Hey, you get what you want 108 00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:22,142 and then I'm the Crispus Attucks of the new Civil War. 109 00:05:22,225 --> 00:05:24,852 - Who is that? Remind me who that is? - You know Crispus Attucks. 110 00:05:24,936 --> 00:05:27,147 - Is that the guy with the bindle who planted all the seeds? 111 00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:30,608 Who's the guy-- what are the three sounds of the breakfast cereal, guys? 112 00:05:30,984 --> 00:05:31,985 - Snap. - Crackle. 113 00:05:32,068 --> 00:05:34,112 - Snap, Craple, Crackle and Crispus? - No, that's that not them. 114 00:05:34,196 --> 00:05:37,573 - Are you seriously thinking that one of our Black founders 115 00:05:37,657 --> 00:05:39,367 is a guy on a cereal? 116 00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:40,827 - Snap, Crackle and Pop couldn't be black? 117 00:05:41,328 --> 00:05:42,912 - We need to get on the same page. - None of our cereal people 118 00:05:42,996 --> 00:05:44,873 are black, OK? 119 00:05:44,956 --> 00:05:46,791 None of them are people of color. - BS! 120 00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:49,418 - What about Count Chocula? - What about Count Chocula? 121 00:05:49,502 --> 00:05:51,213 - Count Chocula's not black! 122 00:05:51,296 --> 00:05:54,049 - He is. - His name is chocolate... la. 123 00:05:54,132 --> 00:05:56,051 - I'm gonna talk to some black people. 124 00:05:56,134 --> 00:06:00,138 - So you want us to shoot you on purpose? 125 00:06:00,222 --> 00:06:01,806 - Yeah. But non-lethally. 126 00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:04,559 Just in a way that it sends an entire... 127 00:06:04,642 --> 00:06:06,435 - By the way, I apologize. You're right. 128 00:06:06,519 --> 00:06:08,021 Count Chocula is... He's black. - JIM: Count Chocula's black. 129 00:06:15,444 --> 00:06:16,404 - JIM: Did you get him? 130 00:06:16,821 --> 00:06:18,240 - TRUDY: Did he do it? - JIM: Did you get him? 131 00:06:18,323 --> 00:06:20,242 - No! - JIM: Shit! I can't see from here. 132 00:06:20,325 --> 00:06:21,326 - Hold still. 133 00:06:21,868 --> 00:06:22,744 You ready? 134 00:06:23,870 --> 00:06:25,038 - JIM: Gary, hold still. 135 00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:26,581 Relax. 136 00:06:27,623 --> 00:06:29,125 - Bend your knees, junior. 137 00:06:29,209 --> 00:06:31,294 - JIM: Gary, close your eyes. You're freaking him out. 138 00:06:33,922 --> 00:06:34,881 - MAN: He got him now. 139 00:06:34,964 --> 00:06:35,882 - JIM: Watch for ricochet now. - Hold still! 140 00:06:35,965 --> 00:06:37,092 - Hey, Gary! You forgot your candy bar. 141 00:06:40,053 --> 00:06:41,346 God damn it! - JIM: Oh, God! 142 00:06:41,429 --> 00:06:42,847 - Sorry. 143 00:06:42,931 --> 00:06:45,058 - Somebody's gotta suck that out. Let me suck it out. 144 00:06:45,141 --> 00:06:46,809 - No. - Let me suck it out. I gotta suck it out. 145 00:06:46,893 --> 00:06:49,145 ♪ I gotta suck it out, suck it out! ♪ - No, no, no! 146 00:06:49,229 --> 00:06:50,397 No, no, no! - I gonna suck it out. 147 00:06:50,479 --> 00:06:51,898 - Jim, don't do that. 148 00:06:53,441 --> 00:06:55,818 I... I haven't been tested, dude. 149 00:06:58,405 --> 00:06:59,989 - You know what's funny, 'cause I used to say 150 00:07:00,073 --> 00:07:03,743 that the Boy Scouts mostly traumatized me with some of the... you know. 151 00:07:03,826 --> 00:07:04,660 - I got this. 152 00:07:04,744 --> 00:07:07,414 - Some of the super weird gay stuff that happened to me. 153 00:07:07,496 --> 00:07:08,664 - Jim, let me get this. - I got it. 12265

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