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1
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- OK, Gary, so why don't you tell me
what happened?
2
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- I'm being prejudiced against
is what's happened.
3
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People are seeing a simple white man
and they're going,
4
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"I'm black. I think I'm better than you."
5
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"I'm a proud gay."
6
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"I'ma make sure a white man's rights
are taken away."
7
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- So...
- Just because I'm...
8
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- ...you called me because you feel like
your feelings have been hurt?
9
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- Did you not see that?
My rights are being taken away right now!
10
00:00:23,593 --> 00:00:25,177
There are people coming up and saying,
11
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"Just because I'm transgender,
I'm special. I have--"
12
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- No, that's not a crime.
- Judaism is a plague!
13
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It's coming across and making sure
that everybody wants--
14
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- OK, Gary, listen,
has any kind of crime--
15
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I'm just hearing
that your feelings are hurt.
16
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- My feelings are not hurt.
My land is being taken away on a daily--
17
00:00:46,908 --> 00:00:50,119
- So someone stole land from you,
is this what I'm hearing?
18
00:00:51,162 --> 00:00:54,749
You can't hold that in your hand
so I can't really call that a theft.
19
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- They're gonna steal away the election.
20
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They're gonna steal away the White House.
They're gonna make sure--
21
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I can identify that one.
22
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They're taking away
my right to free speech.
23
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- That's fucked up, Gary.
That, I don't agree with.
24
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I personally don't love this idea
of us shooting a white guy
25
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to make us look better.
26
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Mostly because I'm the one
who has to do all the paperwork
27
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any time someone discharges their weapon.
28
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And I got a lot of shit to do this week.
29
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Pardon my French but...
30
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this butthole isn't gonna wax itself.
31
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Hey, do me a favor, if you notice
a white guy that I miss, let me know.
32
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I tend to ignore the white guys 'cause,
usually, they're not a problem.
33
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I never said that.
34
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- ♪ Looking for a white guy to shoot! ♪
35
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♪ Looking for a... white guy. ♪
36
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...Shit!
37
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- JACK: This is it. This it right here.
- CHERISHA: Yep.
38
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- JACK: You know these guys are unarmed,
and they couldn't be any whiter.
39
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- CHERISHA: One for you, one for me.
40
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- MAN 1: This place is awful.
41
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- JONES: Hey, guys.
- CHERISHA: Mornin'.
42
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- Hi, officer.
- Hi, officers.
43
00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:11,952
- I wouldn't mind talking to you about...
The Book of Mormon.
44
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- Sure.
- OK.
45
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- I'm sorry. Do you mind just taking
your hand off the gun for a second?
46
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It just makes me really nervous.
47
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- I'm nervous, too.
- I wasn't even noticing.
48
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- It's just instinct, you know.
- Yeah.
49
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- We just truly wanna take about faith.
- Sure. Yeah.
50
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- I'm a woman of deep faith but I've been
shopping around for a new one.
51
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- Elder, Elder, we have to get back.
- We're just--
52
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- Well, just stay close to me...
-Yeah.
53
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- Answer any questions
I might have? You know what I'm saying?
54
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- Elder?
- We're on a mission--
55
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- Elder, go! Go, go, go!
- We just wanna talk to you, come on!
56
00:02:39,562 --> 00:02:40,814
You don't need to... Now, look!
57
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Take a shot! Take a shot! Oh, Jesus!
58
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Take a-- What? Declan!
59
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- Go, go, get 'em!
- Jesus! Take a shot, you got 'em!
60
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- You do it!
- You do it!
61
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- I can't move!
- I'm not gonna--
62
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- TRUDY: Hey, followers!
It's Trudy Wiegel here...
63
00:03:00,207 --> 00:03:03,377
with Trudy Trending Tip 6,428.
64
00:03:05,088 --> 00:03:09,717
I'm gonna show you how you can do
some beauty stuff on a budget.
65
00:03:10,426 --> 00:03:14,305
So today we're gonna talk about
getting rid of unwanted body hair.
66
00:03:14,889 --> 00:03:17,308
So what I figured out was,
67
00:03:17,391 --> 00:03:19,811
if you just
go to your local hardware store
68
00:03:19,894 --> 00:03:22,939
and pick up just your
standard rat glue trap...
69
00:03:23,815 --> 00:03:25,566
you can do your own waxing at home.
70
00:03:26,151 --> 00:03:29,445
Or if you have
a gently used one in your garage,
71
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that's probably OK, too.
72
00:03:31,156 --> 00:03:34,868
So it's really pretty self-explanatory...
73
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you got some unwanted hair
and you got a rat glue trap.
74
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I probably don't have to
talk you through this but...
75
00:03:45,712 --> 00:03:46,796
I will.
76
00:03:47,881 --> 00:03:48,882
So...
77
00:03:51,759 --> 00:03:52,760
I just...
78
00:03:53,302 --> 00:03:57,140
I mean, I haven't tried this before but
I'm just gonna count.
79
00:03:57,224 --> 00:04:00,309
One... two...
80
00:04:03,312 --> 00:04:04,397
Fuck!
81
00:04:05,439 --> 00:04:06,524
Fuck me!
82
00:04:09,903 --> 00:04:12,530
- Responding to a call from Gary.
83
00:04:12,613 --> 00:04:14,949
What? Gary is like a...
- He's a racist.
84
00:04:15,449 --> 00:04:18,285
- Well, yeah... Proud... Proud boy.
- Rally organizer.
85
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- ...come on, guys!
86
00:04:20,038 --> 00:04:21,915
- Oh, they're cool, fellows. It's cool.
87
00:04:22,582 --> 00:04:24,792
Thank you for calling. Hey, DJ.
88
00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:27,503
- So what happens when you call 911, Gary?
89
00:04:27,587 --> 00:04:30,757
- A little bird told me
you all are looking to...
90
00:04:31,716 --> 00:04:33,176
shoot somebody?
91
00:04:33,885 --> 00:04:36,303
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Hey!
92
00:04:36,387 --> 00:04:37,430
Hey!
93
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- What if I told you...
94
00:04:41,434 --> 00:04:45,646
I want you to shoot... moi?
95
00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:50,026
- Why do you want us to shoot you?
96
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- You guys shoot a white man.
- Yeah, yeah.
97
00:04:52,862 --> 00:04:54,906
- And now all of a sudden,
98
00:04:54,989 --> 00:04:57,909
the Reno Sheriff's Department
shoots everybody.
99
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Black people aren't victimized...
100
00:05:00,411 --> 00:05:03,623
they're just one of many victims
that we terrorize.
101
00:05:03,706 --> 00:05:04,707
- They're one of--
102
00:05:04,791 --> 00:05:07,585
They just happen to be the vast majority
but not exclusively.
103
00:05:07,668 --> 00:05:10,004
- Not exclusively. Not exclusively.
- Not exclusively.
104
00:05:10,088 --> 00:05:12,339
- We're equal opportunity shooters.
- Yes, yes.
105
00:05:12,423 --> 00:05:15,342
- I don't hate this idea.
- We're the same, you and me.
106
00:05:16,427 --> 00:05:18,096
We're the same.
- OK. Stop!
107
00:05:18,179 --> 00:05:19,306
- GARY: Hey, you get what you want
108
00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:22,142
and then I'm the Crispus Attucks
of the new Civil War.
109
00:05:22,225 --> 00:05:24,852
- Who is that? Remind me who that is?
- You know Crispus Attucks.
110
00:05:24,936 --> 00:05:27,147
- Is that the guy with the bindle
who planted all the seeds?
111
00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:30,608
Who's the guy-- what are the three sounds
of the breakfast cereal, guys?
112
00:05:30,984 --> 00:05:31,985
- Snap.
- Crackle.
113
00:05:32,068 --> 00:05:34,112
- Snap, Craple, Crackle and Crispus?
- No, that's that not them.
114
00:05:34,196 --> 00:05:37,573
- Are you seriously thinking
that one of our Black founders
115
00:05:37,657 --> 00:05:39,367
is a guy on a cereal?
116
00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:40,827
- Snap, Crackle and Pop couldn't be black?
117
00:05:41,328 --> 00:05:42,912
- We need to get on the same page.
- None of our cereal people
118
00:05:42,996 --> 00:05:44,873
are black, OK?
119
00:05:44,956 --> 00:05:46,791
None of them are people of color.
- BS!
120
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:49,418
- What about Count Chocula?
- What about Count Chocula?
121
00:05:49,502 --> 00:05:51,213
- Count Chocula's not black!
122
00:05:51,296 --> 00:05:54,049
- He is.
- His name is chocolate... la.
123
00:05:54,132 --> 00:05:56,051
- I'm gonna talk to some black people.
124
00:05:56,134 --> 00:06:00,138
- So you want us to shoot you on purpose?
125
00:06:00,222 --> 00:06:01,806
- Yeah. But non-lethally.
126
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:04,559
Just in a way that it sends an entire...
127
00:06:04,642 --> 00:06:06,435
- By the way, I apologize. You're right.
128
00:06:06,519 --> 00:06:08,021
Count Chocula is... He's black.
- JIM: Count Chocula's black.
129
00:06:15,444 --> 00:06:16,404
- JIM: Did you get him?
130
00:06:16,821 --> 00:06:18,240
- TRUDY: Did he do it?
- JIM: Did you get him?
131
00:06:18,323 --> 00:06:20,242
- No!
- JIM: Shit! I can't see from here.
132
00:06:20,325 --> 00:06:21,326
- Hold still.
133
00:06:21,868 --> 00:06:22,744
You ready?
134
00:06:23,870 --> 00:06:25,038
- JIM: Gary, hold still.
135
00:06:25,580 --> 00:06:26,581
Relax.
136
00:06:27,623 --> 00:06:29,125
- Bend your knees, junior.
137
00:06:29,209 --> 00:06:31,294
- JIM: Gary, close your eyes.
You're freaking him out.
138
00:06:33,922 --> 00:06:34,881
- MAN: He got him now.
139
00:06:34,964 --> 00:06:35,882
- JIM: Watch for ricochet now.
- Hold still!
140
00:06:35,965 --> 00:06:37,092
- Hey, Gary! You forgot your candy bar.
141
00:06:40,053 --> 00:06:41,346
God damn it!
- JIM: Oh, God!
142
00:06:41,429 --> 00:06:42,847
- Sorry.
143
00:06:42,931 --> 00:06:45,058
- Somebody's gotta suck that out.
Let me suck it out.
144
00:06:45,141 --> 00:06:46,809
- No.
- Let me suck it out. I gotta suck it out.
145
00:06:46,893 --> 00:06:49,145
♪ I gotta suck it out, suck it out! ♪
- No, no, no!
146
00:06:49,229 --> 00:06:50,397
No, no, no!
- I gonna suck it out.
147
00:06:50,479 --> 00:06:51,898
- Jim, don't do that.
148
00:06:53,441 --> 00:06:55,818
I... I haven't been tested, dude.
149
00:06:58,405 --> 00:06:59,989
- You know what's funny,
'cause I used to say
150
00:07:00,073 --> 00:07:03,743
that the Boy Scouts mostly traumatized me
with some of the... you know.
151
00:07:03,826 --> 00:07:04,660
- I got this.
152
00:07:04,744 --> 00:07:07,414
- Some of the super weird gay stuff
that happened to me.
153
00:07:07,496 --> 00:07:08,664
- Jim, let me get this.
- I got it.
12265
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