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- You know, a lot of aspects
of law enforcement had gotten
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tougher over the past 15 to 20 years.
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Trude, don't you agree?
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- Yup.
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- Remind me not to toss to you, ever.
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- OK. Try it again.
- Yeah.
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- You know, a lot of as--
- Shut up.
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A lot of aspects of law enforcement
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have gotten tougher
in the past couple of years.
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Except for one, the camera phone.
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People, especially the locals around here
can't stop live-streaming their crimes.
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It's just... It's just like
fish in a barrel for us.
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I mean, we can just look like...
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Look, graffiti. You see that?
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But that's in Sparks.
That's a little bit far away.
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- People are so dumb.
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- And then look at this guy is about
to show his genitals to some people.
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- Wait, I wanna see that one.
- Well...
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But it's all the way
over at the bowling hall of fame,
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which is almost, from here,
it'll be about 14 minutes to get to.
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He'll probably done.
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I mean, he sure won't have a boner
by the time we get there.
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Here's one! Wow!
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"Watch me light this Molotov cocktail."
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That's crazy. That's super close.
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That's almost like... That's gotta be--
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- JIM: Good morning.
- TRAVIS: Good morning.
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- Jeffey is leaving early tonight
from his post,
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so if you gotta get
through the parking lot...
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- Take a buddy, maybe?
- Take a buddy.
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- Sorry I'm late.
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Good morning.
- Morning.
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This morning...
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This morning's briefing
is also brought to you by Panda Fridge.
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"Refrigerators only when you need them."
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- I used them before, they're pretty--
- JIM: Panda Fridge?
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- They're pretty good.
- JIM: They're actually pretty good.
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Football guy talk?
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We got an update from Carson City.
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We've never actually shot
an unarmed white guy...
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Ever.
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- Didn't we shoot...
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- You missed him, remember?
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- Never?
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- Never
- JONES: Ever?
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- There's a whole... They got a thing,
there's a whole fax.
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I had to watch a PowerPoint
about all the folks we've shot of...
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I mean, it's stupid, but...
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I don't know--
- So what is it that they're asking?
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- JIM: No one's asking anything.
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- We also hardly shot
any Asian people at all.
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- But that "hardly any,"
there's a huge difference between--
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- Do we include Spaniards
and Argentines in--
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- Not in my America.
- White?
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- Certainly no one's saying that
we should shoot an unarmed white guy.
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- Well, just...
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Just, I mean, I'm not saying it,
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but just like statistics, like--
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If we hit... if we hit just one?
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- We should shoot--
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If we shot a white person,
that won't be the worst thing.
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- I'm gonna put my feet up here.
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- You're dying for us
to ask about the skates.
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- JIM: Here's somebody.
- TRAVIS: How about that guy?
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He's white, right?
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- JIM: No, no, no. Full-blown,
like, beautiful Asian guy.
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- TRAVIS: No.
- JIM: No, no, no.
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Trust me, check my browser history
if you don't think
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that's "an Asian dude with a pompadour."
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That guy looks pretty white.
- JONES: Pretty white.
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- Do you guys consider Italian white?
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- No.
- I don't either.
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- I do.
- You do?
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How? That's insane!
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- How?
- What do you mean?
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- You think Italian people
are also white people?
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- Yeah.
- Don't say that around Italian people.
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- JONES: That is white--
- TRAVIS: No.
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He's got...
- JONES: Not a white man.
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- TRAVIS: I think that's Armenian
or something.
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- What is an Armenian? Does anyone know?
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- Armenian… I don't know.
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I mean, some guys, once a year, they drive
around celebrating their genocide.
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- Right, right, right.
- They fly their flags--
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With the techno music.
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- JIM: White guy.
- JONES: Very unhappy white guy.
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- JIM: I like this guy. Here we go.
- TRAVIS: OK.
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- JIM: Does he look...
does he remind you of somebody?
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- He looks super familiar. Super familiar.
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- John Cusack.
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- No, no, no. There's like a...
God, it's like a face I've seen a lot.
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- He's a news guy?
- Yes.
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Or it's like a two-dimensional thing.
- Was he the weather guy?
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- Wanted poster?
He's from a wanted poster.
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Hi. Hey, guy?
- JIM: Are you--
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- TRAVIS: Shit! Shit!
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- JIM: My shoes!
- TRAVIS: We're sorry. We're sorry.
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- You having a bachelorette party?
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Yeah.
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You're not supposed to be hanging
out of the moon-roof.
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- What?
- Yeah.
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- Haven't you ever seen any movie?
- Get out of the car.
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- Actually, no, because absolutely not.
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- OK, we're on our way to see a show
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with Australian guys
wanging their dangs in our face?
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- Do you know that I need that?
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And that, that is for me.
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- All right, I'll take that. OK.
- No, it's mine.
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- Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope,
nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
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Ladies, ladies... Are you pregnant?
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Get back in. Nope. No, no, no, no, no.
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Walk this line.
- OK.
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- Touch your nose.
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- Yes, queen! Yes, Rachel!
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- Step, touch. Step, touch.
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Get back in line. So the twos come forward
and the ones go back.
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00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:09,670
Pivot, step! Pivot, step!
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Five, six, seven, eight!
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Step, touch, step, touch, step, touch!
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Get ready to pivot, and pivot!
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Step, pivot, step.
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Step, touch, step, snort the coke.
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And snort it, snort it, snort it, down.
And back up, back up.
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- I love-- You love me.
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- Oh, my god.
- CLEMENTINE: You know what?
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If you have room for me, like,
can we go to Tahoe or something?
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- GIRL: Yes.
- CLEMENTINE: OK. All right, all right.
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- GIRL: Three-way kiss.
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- Well, I just moved
and all this paper work is drowning me!
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I've gotta change my address
with the post office, do my bills,
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and re-register as a sex offender.
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Who's got time for all of this?
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- Sounds to me
like you need a little bit of magic.
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00:06:03,016 --> 00:06:05,560
Remember when you used
to have to go downtown,
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get in a huge line
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00:06:06,769 --> 00:06:10,023
with all of Reno's tens of thousands
of sex offenders...
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and wait, and wait?
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00:06:11,607 --> 00:06:15,945
Well, now it’s all right here
in the Reno Sheriff's Department App
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00:06:16,029 --> 00:06:19,199
available for your smartphone or tablet.
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Just click the icon that says
"Get me registered",
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and that'll take you to the scroll wheel
where you can choose your classifications.
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Violent sex offender.
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Non-violent sex offender.
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Peeping Tom. Flasher. Pedophile.
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Agalmatophiliac. Katoptronophiliac.
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Person who puts their penis in mailboxes.
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Roof pooper. Peek-a-dude.
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Click as many as apply.
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And pick a fun avatar.
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That will show up on the app
as we and any other citizen
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track your every movement.
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- It was so easy!
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It's all in the palm of my hand.
11981
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