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- Welcome to the distant future.
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This is pretty neat because
the state of Nevada has given us...
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rented us a virtual reality system,
which is for training purposes.
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You can be in...
Travis, where are you now?
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- Yeah, it's not just a target range.
It's like a...
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like an inner city neighborhood.
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- That's a good question.
Is there hail or snow or anything?
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- Across the street,
I'm going into the bank.
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- Shit! Shit!
- Sorry. Sorry.
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- Really scary guy!
- JIM: Scary guy?
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- WOMAN: Scary guy. Scary guy.
- Where? Where?
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-JIM: Where? Where?
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- It's a sad day here in Reno.
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We have a frequent public nuisance
named T.T.
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I'm not sure what happened to her
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but her aunt sure
was a pillar in the community,
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and so, we're mourning her today.
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The Reno Sheriff's Department
has decided to pitch in
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and we're all pall bearers for her coffin.
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She was a great lady and she...
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- started a...
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an after-school program
for homeless children.
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- She donated books to people in need.
- Donated books.
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And T.T. is going through
her stages of grief.
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It's really heartbreaking.
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I've never seen anything so sad.
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- You know, everyone
experiences bereavement differently,
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so we try to have room for that...
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- Yeah.
- ...experience.
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- Sometimes they cry,
sometimes they hump things.
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Sometimes they dance.
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- Okay. Yeah.
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- All right.
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- My condolences.
- My--
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- Okay. Thank you.
- You're very welcome.
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- MINISTER: We appreciate it so much.
Thank you.
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- JIM: Be a lady. Be a lady.
- MINISTER: Okay. Okay.
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- JIM: Be a lady.
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- All right...
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Okay. You gotta be easy on that.
- Be a lady. Be a lady.
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- All right, here we go.
- We really appreciate you guys.
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- Absolutely.
- I mean, in general. Yeah.
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- Well, thank you, thank you.
I wouldn't necessarily...
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- T.T. Okay. Okay. No, let her.
She's gotta mourn.
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- Let her. She's gotta mourn.
Let her mourn.
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- She's gotta mourn.
- WOMAN: No hitting.
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- So... Excuse me--
Excuse us. Excuse us.
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If we could just... Very sorry.
Just have to...
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- MALE OFFICER: Wait. Wait.
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You can't go through here.
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They're doing demolition.
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- Doing demolition. Back it up.
- Oh, shit.
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- All right.
- Back it up. Back it up.
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- Sorry. I'm so sorry. Bringing this back.
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Absolutely. Absolutely.
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- To starboard. To the starboard.
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- Watch it. Watch your step.
There's a curb.
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- There's a corner.
- Hard to port.
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- Here we go.
- Hard to port.
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- Oh, God, no! Oh, God, no!
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Go, go, go. Oh, it's so cold!
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- We can get through this.
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- Oh, God. Oh, that was really--
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Okay.
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- MINISTER: Son of a--
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- Quick, come. We're almost there.
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- Go, go, go, go, go!
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- That's it. Good pace. Great pace.
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- JIM: Did we make a wrong turn?
'Cause I got…
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- MINISTER: Jesus!
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- JIM: I think we made a wrong turn,
I swear.
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Shit! Shit!
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Are we following T.T.?
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- TRAVIS: Go, go, go!
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- It's OK!
-We're almost here!
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- This way, this way.
- Hard to starboard.
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Hard to starboard.
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Jesus!
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Okay. Okay.
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Five, six, seven, eight. And...
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- MINISTER: Brothers and sisters...
- TRAVIS: It's fine. Go!
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- MINISTER: Please join me
for a moment of silence.
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Just a moment of silence.
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- Sheriff's Department.
- Somebody called you guys.
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- I'm sorry, it took a while.
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- Yeah, we just sat down to eat
when we got the call.
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- I'm Steve. I'm the flight attendant.
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Kind of in charge of economy class.
- Sure.
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- Exhausting!
- Yeah, I bet it's exhausting.
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- What happened wrong today is a woman...
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and I don't want you to let her know
we're talking about her...
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in a blue shameez in the third row...
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- Guys, can I save you some time?
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- Ma'am. Ma'am!
- Ma'am.
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- So she's sitting-- You know what,
I'll pretend that I'm her, okay?
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- And I'm gonna sit here and...
- First of all, don't dress like that
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if you wanna be taken seriously.
- ...she's hitting the buzzer
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every three minutes.
- So you're her?
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- "Sir, I need chap-sticks."
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- I come over. She says, "I spilled
all the nuts in my lap."
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She's like, "Can you grab them?
Help me grab them."
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- So you're-- Yeah.
- So you be me,
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and I put my hand down there...
- So you're you.
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- ...and then she starts doing this.
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- Okay.
- Like trying to
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shove her vaginal mound into my wrist.
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- Shut your hole. Shut your hole.
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- So she says, "Go up there
and grab my jacket,
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because, well, I'm seat-belted.
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As I'm grabbing her jacket,
she's doing this,
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just giving me little Eskimo kisses
with her nose.
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Just like this.
- This is...
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- Nice and slow.
- This is... I do--
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- I'm look for a jacket...
- Why is he wearing shorts?
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- Why are you wearing shorts?
- ...that doesn't even exist.
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And she's going like this
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- pretending she's reaching in the back...
- I will sue you!
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- ...for my jacket.
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- And what's really happening is...
- Excuse me.
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- ...I'm getting ass-raped
by her vaginal mound.
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- Excuse me. I'm sorry.
He doesn't work for the airline.
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He's the one I called you about.
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He was rubbing his groin
on this passenger.
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- Shit. God damn it.
Get down in first.
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- Don't get near me
or I will open this door
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and suck you all out into space.
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- I don't think he's bluffing.
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- It's like 12 feet down, right? 14 feet?
- It's like 12 feet.
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- We work really hard,
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but if we didn't love it,
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honestly, we wouldn't be here.
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- Believe it or not,
the Reno Sheriff's Department
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has jobs available.
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- Reno Sheriff's Department
is looking for a few good men,
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and women, and transgender,
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and non-gender specific gen-Z-ers.
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- Even with criminal records.
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- Up to and including the retarded.
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- I love it here, and if I didn't,
I could quit at any time.
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Really, I could just get up and walk out.
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- I'm so happy, I must be dreaming.
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- I didn't even use my six hours
of time off last Christmas.
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- So join the Reno Sheriff's Department.
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- ALL: Fax in your applications now.
11194
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