Original subtitles

- Welcome to the distant future.

This is pretty neat because the state of Nevada has given us...

rented us a virtual reality system, which is for training purposes.

You can be in... Travis, where are you now?

- Yeah, it's not just a target range. It's like a...

like an inner city neighborhood.

- That's a good question. Is there hail or snow or anything?

- Across the street, I'm going into the bank.

- Shit! Shit! - Sorry. Sorry.

- Really scary guy! - JIM: Scary guy?

- WOMAN: Scary guy. Scary guy. - Where? Where?

-JIM: Where? Where?

- It's a sad day here in Reno.

We have a frequent public nuisance named T.T.

I'm not sure what happened to her

but her aunt sure was a pillar in the community,

and so, we're mourning her today.

The Reno Sheriff's Department has decided to pitch in

and we're all pall bearers for her coffin.

She was a great lady and she...

- started a...

an after-school program for homeless children.

- She donated books to people in need. - Donated books.

And T.T. is going through her stages of grief.

It's really heartbreaking.

I've never seen anything so sad.

- You know, everyone experiences bereavement differently,

so we try to have room for that...

- Yeah. - ...experience.

- Sometimes they cry, sometimes they hump things.

Sometimes they dance.

- Okay. Yeah.

- All right.

- My condolences. - My--

- Okay. Thank you. - You're very welcome.

- MINISTER: We appreciate it so much. Thank you.

- JIM: Be a lady. Be a lady. - MINISTER: Okay. Okay.

- JIM: Be a lady.

- All right...

Okay. You gotta be easy on that. - Be a lady. Be a lady.

- All right, here we go. - We really appreciate you guys.

- Absolutely. - I mean, in general. Yeah.

- Well, thank you, thank you. I wouldn't necessarily...

- T.T. Okay. Okay. No, let her. She's gotta mourn.

- Let her. She's gotta mourn. Let her mourn.

- She's gotta mourn. - WOMAN: No hitting.

- So... Excuse me-- Excuse us. Excuse us.

If we could just... Very sorry. Just have to...

- MALE OFFICER: Wait. Wait.

You can't go through here.

They're doing demolition.

- Doing demolition. Back it up. - Oh, shit.

- All right. - Back it up. Back it up.

- Sorry. I'm so sorry. Bringing this back.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

- To starboard. To the starboard.

- Watch it. Watch your step. There's a curb.

- There's a corner. - Hard to port.

- Here we go. - Hard to port.

- Oh, God, no! Oh, God, no!

Go, go, go. Oh, it's so cold!

- We can get through this.

- Oh, God. Oh, that was really--

Okay.

- MINISTER: Son of a--

- Quick, come. We're almost there.

- Go, go, go, go, go!

- That's it. Good pace. Great pace.

- JIM: Did we make a wrong turn? 'Cause I got…

- MINISTER: Jesus!

- JIM: I think we made a wrong turn, I swear.

Shit! Shit!

Are we following T.T.?

- TRAVIS: Go, go, go!

- It's OK! -We're almost here!

- This way, this way. - Hard to starboard.

Hard to starboard.

Jesus!

Okay. Okay.

Five, six, seven, eight. And...

- MINISTER: Brothers and sisters... - TRAVIS: It's fine. Go!

- MINISTER: Please join me for a moment of silence.

Just a moment of silence.

- Sheriff's Department. - Somebody called you guys.

- I'm sorry, it took a while.

- Yeah, we just sat down to eat when we got the call.

- I'm Steve. I'm the flight attendant.

Kind of in charge of economy class. - Sure.

- Exhausting! - Yeah, I bet it's exhausting.

- What happened wrong today is a woman...

and I don't want you to let her know we're talking about her...

in a blue shameez in the third row...

- Guys, can I save you some time?

- Ma'am. Ma'am! - Ma'am.

- So she's sitting-- You know what, I'll pretend that I'm her, okay?

- And I'm gonna sit here and... - First of all, don't dress like that

if you wanna be taken seriously. - ...she's hitting the buzzer

every three minutes. - So you're her?

- "Sir, I need chap-sticks."

- I come over. She says, "I spilled all the nuts in my lap."

She's like, "Can you grab them? Help me grab them."

- So you're-- Yeah. - So you be me,

and I put my hand down there... - So you're you.

- ...and then she starts doing this.

- Okay. - Like trying to

shove her vaginal mound into my wrist.

- Shut your hole. Shut your hole.

- So she says, "Go up there and grab my jacket,

because, well, I'm seat-belted.

As I'm grabbing her jacket, she's doing this,

just giving me little Eskimo kisses with her nose.

Just like this. - This is...

- Nice and slow. - This is... I do--

- I'm look for a jacket... - Why is he wearing shorts?

- Why are you wearing shorts? - ...that doesn't even exist.

And she's going like this

- pretending she's reaching in the back... - I will sue you!

- ...for my jacket.

- And what's really happening is... - Excuse me.

- ...I'm getting ass-raped by her vaginal mound.

- Excuse me. I'm sorry. He doesn't work for the airline.

He's the one I called you about.

He was rubbing his groin on this passenger.

- Shit. God damn it. Get down in first.

- Don't get near me or I will open this door

and suck you all out into space.

- I don't think he's bluffing.

- It's like 12 feet down, right? 14 feet? - It's like 12 feet.

- We work really hard,

but if we didn't love it,

honestly, we wouldn't be here.

- Believe it or not, the Reno Sheriff's Department

has jobs available.

- Reno Sheriff's Department is looking for a few good men,

and women, and transgender,

and non-gender specific gen-Z-ers.

- Even with criminal records.

- Up to and including the retarded.

- I love it here, and if I didn't, I could quit at any time.

Really, I could just get up and walk out.

- I'm so happy, I must be dreaming.

- I didn't even use my six hours of time off last Christmas.

- So join the Reno Sheriff's Department.

- ALL: Fax in your applications now.