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1
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:16,350
(rousing orchestral fanfare)
2
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:19,153
- Now look O'Hara, it is not
my fault if you misunderstood.
3
00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:21,189
- I didn't
misunderstand anything,
4
00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,391
you deliberately told
me the wrong time.
5
00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:25,059
- You know something?
6
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,727
This is why Uncle Oliver
doesn't promote you O'Hara,
7
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,496
you've always got an alibi.
8
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,397
- Alibi?
9
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:30,531
I'll alibi you.
10
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,100
I'll break you in two.
11
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,468
- Oh, well come on now,
do me a favor, hit me.
12
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:37,271
- Oh, this is one favor
I'd be glad to do.
13
00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:39,773
You know something, I owe you
an awful lot Freddy Carson,
14
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,742
and I'm going to start
paying you off right now.
15
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,211
(magical gong)
16
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,445
(audience laughs)
17
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:45,813
- Hollering for
help already, huh?
18
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:46,747
You yellow O'Hara!
19
00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:49,250
(growls)
(audience laughs)
20
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,385
- Well what did you do that for?
21
00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:53,687
- Tim, a bloody nose
never settled anything.
22
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,089
- Well maybe not, but on him,
23
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:56,290
it would sure look good.
24
00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:57,625
(audience laughs)
25
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,627
- You Earthlings never
cease to amaze me.
26
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,362
Your ultimate
argument is always,
27
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,764
"I can lick you with one
hand tied behind my back."
28
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,166
(audience laughs)
29
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:05,866
- Alright, Uncle Martin,
no lectures, please,
30
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,368
I'm not in the mood.
31
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,669
- In other words, to
use your own phrase,
32
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:09,637
put up or shut up.
33
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,139
- That would be nice, yes.
34
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,374
- Very well, let's
review the situation.
35
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,443
The basis of the conflict
between you and Freddy
36
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:18,679
is that you're both
up for promotion to
journeyman reporter.
37
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,614
- Yes, well you can forget
it as far as I'm concerned.
38
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:22,350
Freddy has the inside track.
39
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:24,152
- You mean because he's
Mrs. Burns' nephew?
40
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,586
- Well, that and a
lot of other things.
41
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,655
Have you noticed how
closely he sticks to Burns,
42
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,490
just like glue, and he's
always buttering him up,
43
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,192
and telling him what
a nice guy he is.
44
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,561
And he's always laughing at
everything Mr. Burns says,
45
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:34,395
it's always so funny.
46
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,496
It's disgusting!
(audience laughs)
47
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:36,630
(draw slams)
48
00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,132
Come on Martin, let's go home.
49
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:42,102
(playful orchestral interlude)
50
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,240
(magical music)
51
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:49,643
- Who you tuning
in on Uncle Martin?
52
00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:51,145
That's eavesdropping!
53
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:51,912
- [Martin] I know.
54
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,046
- [Tim] What's he saying?
55
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,317
- He is saying that osso
bucco is a far superior dish
56
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,552
to grenadine of beef.
57
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,354
Your Mr. Burns, is a gourmet.
58
00:02:00,388 --> 00:02:02,456
- Oh, well that
solves my problem.
59
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:03,757
(audience laughs)
- Now, maybe it does.
60
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,459
Don't let opportunity
slip through your fingers.
61
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:06,427
- Opportunity for what?
62
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,628
- For buttering up the boss,
63
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,297
like he's never been
buttered before.
64
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:10,398
It so happens, that back home,
65
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,832
I'm known as the L'Escoffier
66
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:14,335
of The Martian
Master Chef Society.
67
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:15,503
We'll invite him to dinner.
68
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:18,306
I'll prepare a meal that is
literally out of this world.
69
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:20,308
Martian strew!
(audience laughs)
70
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,476
- Isn't that a little far to
go just for the ingredients?
71
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,878
- To the gourmet the
staples are unimportant.
72
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:27,281
I can substitute
foods from Earth.
73
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,283
The important thing
is the condiments.
74
00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:31,552
The spices, which give
an exotic piquancy
75
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:34,255
to an otherwise
simple comestible.
76
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:35,623
Those I have in the spaceship.
77
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,225
Between slathering
on the butter,
78
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,359
and attacking his palate,
79
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:41,595
we'll have him begging you
to accept that promotion.
80
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:45,799
(audience laughs)
(playful musical interlude)
81
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,872
(high pitched beeps)
82
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:55,209
(otherworldly music)
83
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:02,216
(high pitched beeps)
84
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:06,220
(whimsical orchestral
theme music)
85
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,802
(playful orchestral music)
86
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:41,689
- After a meal like that,
it would be a desecration
87
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,324
ever to eat again.
(audience laughs)
88
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:44,925
- Well, thank you
very much Mr. Burns.
89
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,727
We have a saying around here,
90
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,929
that nothing is too
good for my boss.
91
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,465
- Thank you Tim, I'm flattered.
92
00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:54,034
Now, let us see if I
can still stand up.
93
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,905
(laugh)
(audience laughs)
94
00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:58,739
- That's re--
95
00:03:58,772 --> 00:03:59,873
That's funny!
96
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,375
Let's see if I can still stand
97
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:04,912
up!
(audience laughs)
98
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,947
(slaps)
99
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,884
- That's strange, I
feel like I'm going to--
100
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,786
(hiccup)
(audience laughs)
101
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,655
Gotta stretch my legs.
102
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,691
(hiccup)
(audience laughs)
103
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:18,759
Excuse me.
104
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:23,431
(slow paced orchestral music)
105
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,036
(audience laughs)
106
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,441
(slow hiccup)
107
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:36,310
(audience laughs)
108
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,512
Ex
109
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:39,613
cuse
110
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:40,914
me.
111
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:44,952
(slower paced orchestral music)
112
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,531
(audience laughs)
113
00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,800
(slow laugh)
114
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:12,012
(slow hiccup)
115
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,882
(audience laughs)
116
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,925
(audience laughs)
117
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:29,029
- Mr. Burns?
118
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,834
Mr. Burns, can you hear me?
119
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,440
- What did you put in the stew?
120
00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:40,608
- Nothing.
121
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:43,377
Except a little
ground whifflebark.
122
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,548
- But what happened?
123
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:48,816
- I don't know?
124
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,418
Apparently some sort
of chemical reaction
125
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:53,554
from mixing my Martian
condiments with your Earth food.
126
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:54,922
- Well, we all ate
the same thing.
127
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:57,057
- You didn't, you
didn't eat your salad.
128
00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:00,127
- You ate it, now why
aren't you like him?
129
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,162
- Tim, I was raised
on whifflebark.
130
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,398
- Oh, well what do we do?
131
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:05,399
Call a doctor?
132
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:07,000
- This is a Martian syndrome.
133
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,169
Your Earth doctors wouldn't
know where to begin.
134
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,170
(magical music)
135
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,672
- What's the matter?
136
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,874
- Testing for brain waves.
137
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:16,977
- Can he hear us?
138
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,111
- Ssh!
139
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:20,748
His mind is a complete blank.
140
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:24,117
- Yeah, well I know
exactly how he feels.
141
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,487
Uncle Martin, do you realize
what you've done to me?
142
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,155
You've petrified my boss!
143
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,690
(audience laughs)
144
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,892
- I'm aware of what I've done.
145
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,761
I'm also aware of the fact,
146
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,929
that if anyone should see
him in this condition,
147
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:38,866
there will inevitably be
some sort of investigation,
148
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,602
which could expose
me as a Martian.
149
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:42,603
- Well, what can we do about it?
150
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:43,604
- It's very simple.
151
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,072
All we have to do is cure him.
152
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,107
- Do you mind if I ask how?
153
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:50,578
- First, we break down all
the chemical elements involved
154
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:54,782
into basic formulae, reassemble
them into compound formulae,
155
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:57,485
and determine their
inter-reactions.
156
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:01,622
- You do that.
(audience laughs)
157
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:03,957
You know what we
should have done?
158
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,058
We should have taken
him out to dinner.
159
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,894
That little Hungarian
restaurant down on the corner?
160
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,128
All he would have
had now is heartburn.
161
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,063
(audience laughs)
162
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,532
- Of course!
163
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:12,199
That's it!
164
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,033
- What?
165
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,635
What, what, what?
166
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:15,903
- Are you in anyway familiar
with the homo cycle,
167
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:19,840
and hetero cycle sub
classifications of
chemical compounds?
168
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,143
It was a ridiculous question.
(audience laughs)
169
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,846
Suffice it to say, that all
we have to do is counteract--
170
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:29,249
(magical music)
171
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,718
Mrs Brown.
172
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,753
- Do what to Mrs. Brown.
173
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,123
- Yoo-hoo everybody!
174
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,532
Did Tim get promoted yet?
12268
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