All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S01E33.Oh.My.Aching.Antenna.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb

(whimsical classical music)

- Hi, Uncle Martin.

(laughter)

hey, toro, toro.

Ole.

(laughter)

(mystical instrumental music)

Now come on, Uncle Martin.

Will you cut that out?

Well that's more like it.

Now why did you turn invisible
just to do the house work?

- Oh Tim, I didn't
hear you come in.

- Uncle Martin.

- You're home early.

I didn't intend for you
to see me like this.

- What happened?

You look like something
from outer space.

I mean.

- Well that's alright, you don't

need to apologize.

If you must know,
this is a youth pack.

- Youth pack?

- Now it's to take
away the wrinkles.

My face is, collapsing.

- It is?

- I wasn't going to tell you,

but my hair is turning gray too,

I've been touching it up
so, so you wouldn't notice.

- You've been dying your hair?

(laughs)

I thought that martians had
no patience with vanity.

- Well it's not funny, Tim.

I'm getting desperate.

- Well, come on.

Now you have to expect
to age a little.

I mean, after all,
a man 450 years old.

- I wouldn't be falling
apart if I was on Mars.

It's the gravity
here that's doing it.

It's worse than your smog.

- Gravity?

- Yes, its what makes
you Earthlings age

so much faster than Martians.

I'm getting stiff
in the antenna too

and my energy is so depleted

that I can hardly
get out of bed.

- Well that sounds
pretty serious.

- Yeah, Tim I'm like
a deep sea diver

who has sunk behind his depth.

I'm slowly being
crushed by pressure.

- Well what can we do about it?

- Well my problem is how
to degravitize myself.

Relieve this intolerable
pressure and restore

my metabolism so I
can once again resist

Earth's gravity.

- How do you do that?

- Well I haven't quite
figured it out, yet

but I'm concentrating
on the problem.

- How long do you have?

I mean.

- it's alright Tim,
I know what you mean.

Two weeks, 10 days if I'm lucky.

- Uncle Martin, you've
gotta concentrate harder.

- Well, I'll try.

- That's it.

Come on, Uncle Martin,
harder, more, more.

(laughter)

(groans)

- Oh my aching antenna.

(laughter)

(mystical classical music)

(electronic beeping)

(upbeat classical music)

(playful suspenseful
classical music)

(laughter)

Tim, would you
please stop worrying

so I can get some sleep?

- Well I'm sorry, Uncle Martin,

I didn't realize my
bare feet were making

so much noise.

- It wasn't your
feet that woke me up,

it was your thinking.

- Oh well my mind just
keeps turning over and over.

- Yeah, I know that.

That way, neither one
of us can get any sleep.

- But Uncle Martin,
you can't sleep.

You gotta stay awake
and concentrate

on how to save yourself.

- How many times
must I tell you,

we Martians solve
our most difficult

problems only when we sleep.

- You didn't tell me that.

- I must have.

- Well I don't remember.

(laughter)

- We simply program
the facts in continuity

and feed the problem
into our brain,

much as you Earthlings
wire a board

for one of your primitive
digital computers.

We then go to sleep
and let our brain

work out the problem.

- You do?

- Yeah, I almost had it

and then you woke me up.

- Oh I'm sorry, Uncle Martin.

Look go back to sleep.

Maybe you can pick up
where you left off.

- Alright, well I'll
try for your sake.

- For my sake?

Well gravity's not affecting me.

- No but the authorities
might if I die.

- Don't say that.

What do you mean?

- Oh you know how it is.

Lot's people don't
know you're alive

until you drop dead.

Then after you're
gone, they can't wait

to find out all about you.

- Well, who for instance?

- Well the Bureau
of Internal Revenue,

the State tax board and
the City board of Health.

How could you expect
them to believe

I was a victim of
Earth's gravity?

- I couldn't.

Look, go back to sleep so
you can get the answer.

- Alright, I'll try.

(soft playful classical music)

I've got it.

Plus nine to the 12th
power minus X Pi square.

I can fabricate an equalizer.

- You can?

- But I'll need
two of them, Tim.

The components are
in the spaceships

miniaturized navigation
analog computer.

You can help me tear it down.

- Tear it down?

But Uncle Martin, how
will you get back to Mars?

- Tim, if I'm not
degravitized soon, I won't

live long enough
to make the trip.

Now come on.

Help me down to the garage.

(laughter)

(light classical music)

- All finished?

- Aright, Tim.

Strap em on me.

No, no, no it's gotta be around.

- Okay.

Here turn your wrist
over, make it easier.

Okay, I sure hope these
work, Uncle Martin.

- Don't worry, Tim.

They will.

You'll see.

- Turn over now, a little bit.

- Okay.

- There, do you feel any better?

- Not yet, the power
hasn't been turned on.

You can turn the dials now.

Only to the first amper.

- Alright.

(wacky spring noises)

(mystical music)

Uncle Martin, what happened?

- Tim, do something.

Hurry Tim, hurry do something.

Turn me off, turn me off.

- I'm trying, I can't catch you.

- Please, Tim.

Hurry.

Tim, do it.

I made it.

(laughter)

- Is that the way
it's supposed to work?

- no.

You made a mistake and--

- I made a mistake?

- Well in a way it
was partly my fault.

I forgot to mention
that these devices

are something like AC and DC.

- Oh, I guess we sort of
short circuited you, huh?

- Something like this.

Unless each is worn
on the proper wrist,

the polarity is reversed and,

well you know the rest.

If you'll just reverse
these, they'll work alright.

- okay, they're all set.

Now what?

- Alright now same as before

but remember, only turn
them to the first amper.

- Why?

- I just thought I'd spare
you that messy detail.

- Messy?

- Tim, if I'm
degravitized too quickly,

I'll explode all over the place.

(laughter)

- Yes, I guess that
would be messy.

Are you sure you want
to go through with this?

- I'll turn the dials
myself this time.

If something should
go wrong, I certainly

wouldn't want you
to blame yourself.

You've been
wonderful to me, Tim.

So just remember, I
didn't have much time

left anyway.

(mystical whirring)

- But Uncle Martin.

- It works, it works.

The centrimpinal
force is relieved.

I've been liberated.

(laughter)

(groaning)

- What a weird feeling.

- I never anticipated
this would have an effect

on anyone but myself.

- How long do you have to use
those things, Uncle Martin?

- Well I figured it
will take about a week.

- A week?

- Well there'll be
no problem, Tim.

I'll just turn
myself of whenever

you're in the same room with me.

- Well how's it
gonna be any good

if it's turned off?

- I can't

but I'll make up for
lost time by increasing

the power when
you're not around.

- Oh well that
sounds reasonable.

Look, Uncle Martin,
I gotta get dressed

or I'm gonna be late for work.

Now you're sure you're
gonna be alright?

- Fine, Tim, you go right ahead.

(playful classical music)

(Tim screams)

- [Tim] Uncle Martin,
I'm on the ceiling.

Turn that thing off.

(laughter)

- [Martin] I'm sorry, Tim.

I didn't think the power
would penetrate that far.

- Maybe I better
take a room at the Y

until you get back to normal?

- Rent a room at
the Y, for what?

- To avoid getting my
brains knocked out.

Now if I'm gonna hit the ceiling

every time you take one
of those treatments.

- Oh you won't.

Now that I'm aware
of the strength

of this device, I
have decided only

to use it while you're away.

I mean, out of the
apartment, I promise.

(groans)

(laughter)

(echoes)
- Uncle Martin.

(laughter)

Uncle Martin.

- [Martin] We're in
the bedroom, Tim.

- We?

(laughter)

(playful classical music)

Did you say we?

- Tim, one of us has got to go.

Look, look.

That's the reason I
called you to come home.

- [Tim] That's Mrs.
Brown's wisteria vine,

what's it doing in here?

- I'm not sure but I refuse
to share the same room

with it, it's not safe.

- Not safe?

- Every time I tun on the power,

it comes a little closer.

I'm exhausted from
turning myself

on and off all day long.

- Oh, well I'll just go
out and get rid of it.

- Why are you
wearing that thing?

- Well.

It's a deep sea diver's outfit.

- I know that but.

- Well I thought it
might be a good idea

to wear around the
house, you know,

then you can turn on
full power and I won't

hit the ceiling.

- very ingenious of you, Tim.

I'm proud of you.

- Now let's try it
and see how it works.

- Alright.

(whimsical mystical music)

(laughter)

there, you see what I mean?

I dozed off with
the power turned on

and when I woke
up, when I woke up

it was coming at
me, just like that.

- Why, I don't understand what,

do that again.

(mystical whirring)

(laughter)

- Now do you believe me?

I woke up just in
the knick of time.

Well that thing would
of been in bed with me.

Tim, you've got to cut it down.

- I guess you're
right, Uncle Martin.

I hate to think about what
Mrs. Brown's gonna say, though.

You know how she feels
about her plants.

(laughter)

(soft classical music)

Uncle Martin, quick
turn yourself off.

Mrs. Brown's coming
over with some soup.

(mystical whirring)

(laughter)

(energetic classical music)

Well the only way I
could get Mrs. Brown

to forgive me for
cutting down the vine

was to tell her that
it made you sick.

- Yes well, I'm turning
myself on and off so much

that it is making me sick.

(chuckles)

- Well why don't
you taste your soup?

It's parsnip.

- Oh, no.

(laughter)

- Oh thank you.

Shame on you, Martin,
for not letting me know

you hadn't been feeling well.

- It's just a touch of vinus.

- Vinus?

- Wisteria vinus.

- Oh yes.

Well you eat this soup,
it will perk you up.

It's a real tonic.

Oh my, you do look peaked.

You should get more sun, Martin.

- I will, I will just as
soon as I feel up to it.

- Why don't you sit
outside tomorrow

and watch me work in my garden?

I'm gonna plant some sweet corn.

Won't that be fun?

(laughter)

Well I can see you're
tired so I'll leave now.

Now if there's
anything you need--

- [Tim] We'll call you.

- Oh alright, now you see
that he eats his soup.

- Oh yes, I will.

Thank you very much.

Bye bye Mrs. Brown.

(whimsical classical music)

- Can I turn myself on now?

- No, no wait till I
get into my safety belt.

(laughter)

- Will you hurry up?

- Ready whenever you
are, Uncle Martin.

(laughter)

- I haven't done that since
I was in ballet school.

(laughter)

- She got a jolt of it just
as she hit the driveway.

- You know she's right
about my needing the sun?

The (mumbles) benefits
from ultra violet rays.

- Yeah, well you know
as long as Mrs. Brown

thinks that you're sick,
she's gonna be up here

every few hours trying to help?

(shushes)

- Let me think.

By altering the current variants

of the spheroidal wave function

from sigma third prime to
the the finet of G minus

a differentiational of the
FBA elliptic integrals.

Uh huh, I'll do it.

- What'll do what?

- I'm going to modify
these so I can keep

myself turned on without
affecting other people.

Then it will be safe
for me to go out

and get some sun.

Bring my tools, Tim.

(heavy classical music)

(lighthearted classical music)

- Well I sure am glad you
got those things fixed,

Uncle Martin.

- Yes, I imagine
it's quite a relief

not to need that
diving suit anymore.

- Well it's not so
bad walking around,

you know, but wearing it to be.

Oh boy, last night
it was murder.

I kept dreaming I
was in traction.

- Remarkable.

I'm taking nearly
50% of the power

and you don't feel a thing.

- [Tim] Oh, are
you increasing it?

- Reducing it.

I explained that I can
only take a slight increase

at at time.

- Well how do you know
when you've had too much?

- My ears start to buzz.

(laughter)

Would you care to
take a stroll with me?

- No, no, no.

I have a brand new
idea for a novel.

- Another one?

You haven't finished the
last four your started.

- Well this will be different.

(lighthearted classical music)

(humming)

(upbeat jazz music)

- Oh hello, Martin.

Oh you just sit here and
you zap up at sunshine

while I finish
planting my sweet corn.

Oh how's Tim?

- Fine, fine he's upstairs
writing another book.

- Oh I just love gardening.

If I had more space,
I'd have a greenhouse.

Why I might even become
an expert like Ezel.

- Like who?

- Ezel, he's my new gardener.

He's a senior student in
agriculture at college

and he's an absolute
magician with plants.

Oh Ezel, I want you
to meet someone.

(upbeat jazz music)

Ezel, this is Mr. Martin O'Hara.

- Hi there.

(humming)

I couldn't of missed
a patch that big.

- I was telling Mr. O'Hara
about your studying,

what's its name?

- Agrobiology.

- Oh I can never
remember that word.

- It's the science of
plant growth and nutrition.

As applied to the
improvement of crops

and the control of soil.

- Yeah, dad, that's it.

- Is that the required
campus haircut

for agrobiologists?

- Oh it's not my hair.

This just keeps me from
getting too much sun.

(laughter)

Maybe it's not working today.

(humming)

- Sweet boy.

- Mrs. Brown,
might I trouble you

for a drink of water?

- How about a tall
glass of fresh lemonade?

- Fine, fine, just fine, fine.

- In about four months,
I'll be offering you

homegrown corn on the cob.

(mystical whirring)

(laughter)

- Mrs. Brown.

Mrs. Brown!

I don't believe it
but there it is.

Look at it, just look at it.

- It's nice, isn't it?

- Nice?

She just planted that
a few minutes ago.

- How did you ever
do that, Ezel?

- How did I do it?

How did she do it?

- I planted it just
like you told me to

when you gave me the seed.

Ezel, where are you going?

(laughter)

- Mrs. Brown, I wondered
if you'd excuse me,

I've got to get back
to the apartment.

(whimsical classical music)

- Isn't that wonderful?

(laughter)

- Page one.

Page one.

Page one.

- Tim.

Go out there and stop
Mrs. Brown's gardener.

- Stop him?

- Yes, I read his mind.

He's gone to his truck

to get instruments to find out

why that corn grew so fast.

It's these things.

They turn seeds into
full grown plants

in less than a minute.

- They did?

- Ezel has electronic
detection gear

that can lead him right to
the spaceship in the garage.

Need I explain more?

That college boy can ruin me.

- But how am I
supposed to stop him?

- Detain him,
interfere with him,

keep him away from the garage.

Just give me five minutes, Tim.

- well what are you gonna do?

- I'm gonna give
myself the full charge.

I don't know whether
I can take it or not

but there's nothing left to do.

Now look, just to be safe.

You stay away from
the garage, okay?

- But Uncle Martin,
I can't go down there

and do that, it's impossible.
- Tim.

(mystical classical music)

- Alright.

- 172.

(laughter)

- How about that?

Instant corn on the cob.

Oh I'm gonna get my camera
and take a picture of this.

(playful classical music)

(mystical whirring)

- You must be Ezel.

- Huh?

- You must be Ezel.

- Yeah, ah.

What are you, some kind of nut?

Stand aside, you're
blocking science.

(playful classical music)

(mystical whirring)

(laughter)

- Ezel, what are you
doing to my sweet corn?

- I'm trying to
find out what made

it grow so fast, Mrs. D.

Oh.

Oh I'm getting a buzz.

There's metal in
here some place.

- Oh my trowel, I
wondered where I left it.

(mystical whirring)

- What on Earth is that?

- It's a very delicate
detection instrument

that we use in the college lab.

Now we'll get to the
bottom of this business.

(upbeat drum music)

- Oh, would you care
to waltz Mrs. Brown?

(laughter)

- Will you quit fooling around?

I'm trying to solve
a mystery here.

- Sorry, old boy.

(mystical whirring)

Let me help.

- There's something
weird going on up there.

(laughter)

It's gone haywire.

Mrs. Brown, is there a
HAM in the neighborhood?

- Yes, there's an actor who
lives right down the street.

(laughter)

- I mean an amateur
radio operator.

I think his singles are
foaming up my detector.

- [Tim] Hello, Uncle Martin.

- I'm gonna get the professor,
he'll help me solve this.

- wait Ezel, I have a
theory about that corn.

- Like what?

- Now, you gave
Mrs. Brown the seeds

which you got from the college

and you've been
experimenting with atomic

radiated seed corn.

- That's secret, how
did you know about it?

- I learned it from you.

Now I suggest that accidentally

you gave Mrs. Brown some
of those atomic kernels

or again just by accident,

some of the kernels
fell from your pocket

during your gardening chores.

- Well even so, they
don't make instant plants.

- Well they might if
they've been planted

in the proper environment.

- No, it's impossible, the only.

(laughter)

Look, it's happening again.

- Uh huh, yes it is and
look here, right beside it.

A kernel that hasn't been
planted, one of yours.

- That's one of them alright.

Man, I'm gonna upset the world.

I'm gonna make Luther Burbank
look like a bush leaguer.

- Drumstick ear anyone?

(laughs)

- Ah, Tim I feel wonderful.

My resistance to gravity
is completely restored.

We'll get along just fine now.

- Well that's just great

because rumor has it that
gravity is here to stay.

(laughing)

What you do with the things?

- Dismantled them and
reinstalled the components

in the spaceship and
if all goes well,

I'll be returning to Mars
in about three months.

Let's drink to that, Tim.

- Oh well, we're out of coffee.

- Oh well don't get
up, don't get up.

I'll get it.

(cautious classical music)

- Oh now come on Uncle Martin,

cut the clowning.

- I'm sorry, Tim,
but would you mind

getting those parts out
of the spaceship for me?

Just once more?

- You mean, you're
not really cured?

- Not quite.

The shock treatment didn't take.

A case of too much too quick.

- But you said--

- I said I'd be fine and I will.

I just need a few
more hours, huh Tim?

- Are you sure?

- Absolutely positive.

I know exactly what to do
and how to do it this time.

- Okay, well I'll get the parts.

- And Tim, don't
forget my tools.

(laughter)

Oh oh my aching antenna.

(upbeat classical music)