Original subtitles

[female paramedic] He's had a cardiac arrest.

[male paramedic] Patient is unresponsive.

There's hardly any breath at all.

[female paramedic] Start compressions.

[male doctor] It's this thing that might save his life.

[female paramedic] Possible heart attack.

[Maxxx] What the hell's going on here?

[indistinct distorted chatter]

We have reduced sats of 80.

‐[female doctor] Cut the suit. ‐[Maxxx] No, no, don't cut

the suit. That's Gucci. [grunts]

Oh, she went and cut the suit.

[female doctor] Suspected overdose.

This some kind of joke?

[indistinct distorted chatter]

Patrick Swayze.

Why am I thinking of Patrick Swayze?

I was on stage...

[crowd cheering]

'Cause when you play like that...

[Maxxx singing indistinctly]

...it's authentic.

[Don] What the fuck are we doing here?

You're chasing authen‐fucking‐ticity,

when you can have fame.

‐[crowd cheering] ‐[laughs hysterically]

[Maxxx] Nah.

Ah, fuck! What happened?

I don't wanna be dead.

I don't wanna be‐‐ Wait, wait, are you a doctor?

Motherfucker, do I look like a doctor?

No, I think I might be having an out of body experience.

Yes. This is your death.

Hey, congratulations, you made it over the finish line.

‐Yalla, yalla, yalla. ‐No, no, no, no.

I can't be dead, I can't be‐‐ No, I can't be dead.

‐This is‐‐ ‐It's an adjustment.

I don't know who you think I am, lady,

but I've got a comeback coming on, okay?

I got a sick bucket list. Wait, am I in hell?

Technically, you're still in Hackney, but you are dead.

[laughs] This‐‐

I'm having an acid flashback. Okay, I need to wake up.

‐[laughs] ‐[Maxxx] Okay.

That is not going to happen. That's not how it works.

So, let us see if you have been a good habibi,

or a bad habibi. All right?

‐[Death] M‐A‐X. ‐Triple X,

because I'm a triple threat.

‐Idiot. ‐[Maxxx groans]

You better take this seriously, Maxxxy.

‐[groans] ‐Now shush and watch.

We are about to judge your life, and as you can see,

you're so very sexually immoral.

Look, drug addict, and utterly selfish.

[Maxxx] Hey, can you slow down,

you're kind of speeding through this.

[Death] Okay fine. Let's play a bit.

[Maxxx] Yeah, thank you. Not, not this bit.

You know why I pulled you over?

‐You thought I had some donuts? ‐Some donuts?

I was just joking around. Jesus, there's really no sense

‐of humour these days is there? ‐Joking around.

‐Don't make a move. ‐I know where I'm going.#*#*#*

‐Keep going. ‐[officer] Come back here.

‐[Maxxx] Don't shoot me. ‐[officer] Stop.

Listen, I just want you to know, I'm only half black.

Alcohol, while you are driving, you idiot.

Trust me, darling,

for you it's better if we go fast forward.

Wait, go back. Dad?

Can you‐‐ No, go back? Go back, go back. Can I see that?

♪ God gonna trouble The water ♪

‐Oh, my God. ‐♪ Wade in the water ♪

♪ Wade in the water children ♪

♪ Wade in the water ♪

‐Go. ‐♪ Wade in the water ♪

Oh, come on, man, come on, dum‐dum. Better than that.

‐♪ Wade in the water children ♪ ‐Sing, sing, sing,

‐from your diaphragm. ‐♪ Wade ♪

Come on, open your mouth. Come on.

‐[Maxxx] It's too hard, Dad. ‐It's not hard.

‐I give up. ‐Don't give up. Look.

Come, come. Come Maxxx, come.

Now, you want complete strangers to love you, don't you?

‐Yes. ‐Right.

Now, the only way for a black man to stay safe,

is to become famous.

Bill Cosby famous, huh, O. J. Simpson famous.

Look, give me a coin.

Come on, man, hurry up. I know you have money.

I have a coin in my hand. Right?

I take the coin. Where is it?

Ah! Are you sure?

You see. The gold is waiting for you.

Don't give up, dum‐dum.

Don't give up, dum‐dum.

Don't give up, dum‐dum.

Now come on, let's go.

[Death] Boring. Okay, where were we?

Life flashed before your eyes. You've been an arsehole.

And now, it is judgement time.

‐No‐‐ Wait, wait, wait, wait. ‐[Lucky] Murderer. [laughs]

‐What the fuck is he doing here? ‐[Lucky] Murderer.

Yes. You saw what he did to me in that hospital.

You were already basically dead.

I would have made it, bro.

Yeah, right, from the vegetable state.

Yeah, condemn him like you condemn me.

Make him make him walk this earth.

Shut up, fatty, I'm trying to work here.

‐Yeah, shut up, fatty. ‐[Death] And you!

You wasted every single opportunity

to make any kind of meaning out of your life.

‐What? ‐No, you gave up every time.

‐You are now condemned to‐‐ ‐No, no wait. Don't condemn me,

don't condemn me. I did some meaningful shit.

Look, look, just‐‐ ow‐‐ Just give me two minutes.

[sobs] I'm sorry. I feel awful about switching the song.

I put all this energy into reinventing

an authentic version of you, that I forgot to be authentic.

[Don] Unbelievable. I mean, who dies on stage

at a live event and doesn't get

one fucking news story about them.

That's not gonna shift any units.

He's not dead. You're just thinking

about the bounce in sales when celebrities die.

How dare you? I am thinking about Amit.

Poor, badly dressed Amit.

You know he's gonna be an orphan. Again.

I mean, if‐‐ if‐‐ if Maxxx dies in obscurity and infamy...

what happens to him? Hmm?

As penniless as the day he was born.

Oh, don't pretend like you care.

‐Care. ‐Yeah.

Maxxx was an artist. And 50 percent of the time,

I didn't know if he was putting music

into that guitar, or taking music out of it,

but look at him now.

He's in pain. He's suffering.

And I won't tell anyone if you don't.

‐That's murder. ‐How dare you! I'm a Buddhist.

‐Accidents happen. ‐No.

Fine, whatever, do it your way. I'm gonna plan B.

[Maxxx] You can't condemn me, you haven't seen the best bits.

You ain't seen me and Jourdan. What?

Top 15 loves of all time. You know what I'm saying?

Let me just show you. What does the montage button do?

Come on.

[Maxxx] Oh, come on, look at that.

‐Oh, I love it. Oh. ‐I was thinking

we could do this instead of having a kid.

[Maxxx] That's nice.

Oh, so cute there. What happened?

Let's see what it was really like, shall we?

Babe, remember my Grandma's coming for dinner tonight.

Yeah.

‐Babe, do you remember? Grandma. ‐Huh?

‐Tonight. Dinner. ‐Hmm.

Everybody does that.

No, they don't.

Oh, nobody needs to see that.

[music playing]

‐This morning, I told you. ‐[Maxxx] Right.

Grandma is coming for fucking dinner.

Oh, I gotta go throw up. I'm gonna be right back.

Oh, baby Jesus.

‐Mm‐hmm. ‐What‐‐ what is wrong with you?

‐What, fuck off. Chill out. ‐No, you fucking chill out.

‐Listen to me. ‐Okay, listen, listen.

Wait, what did you just say?

Butt naked on the fucking floor, with coke and pills and‐‐

Are you okay?

[Maxxx] You're just editing me to make me look bad.

This is like a reverse X Factor montage.

Oh, habibi, you fucked up, and then you broke up.

Baby! Honey bun!

‐Kevin. ‐She doesn't want to see you.

Is that Kevin, from the Backstreet Boys?

Oh, I love him.

It's all right, I understand you think you're a big deal

and everything like that,

but this is love you're getting in the way of.

[Kevin] She doesn't want to see you.

‐Listen, ‐You're high.

‐I'm a little bit high. ‐You're high.

I've got children inside here,

and I don't want you around them.

Leave my property, please.

N'Sync were better than you. Said it.

Get, get the fucking‐‐ [groans]

Smash him again in the face. [laughs]

‐Uh, I loved her, okay? ‐Did you ever tell her that?

Yes, I telled her that. Of course, I telled her that,

‐what are you talking about? ‐All right, let's take a look.

‐I love‐‐ ‐Go on.

I love West End musicals.

I do like musicals.

You love West End musicals?

Well, yeah, okay next‐‐ Do the next one?

‐I love... your company. ‐My company?

You‐‐ Not like the business

‐you started. ‐Yeah, no, yeah.

For the modelling, like, you know.

‐You are not right in the head. ‐Click.

‐[Maxxx on TV] I love MySpace. ‐Click again.

[Maxxx on TV] I love Selena Gomez. I love gravel.

Yo, this is a hack job.

I definitely told her I loved her.

I did‐‐ I‐‐ I said it.

Just, type in 'I love you'. Try that.

Oh, well then, let's take a look.

[Tanisha] Okay, your 20 minutes starts now.

Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

‐Hey, change‐‐ ‐Shh, I'm trying to watch.

‐Hey. Hey, hey ‐Sorry. I just miss you.

‐What now? ‐Can we just hug?

Maybe that would be very healing for me,

if we could hug for a little bit.

Why don't I just give you a hand job? It'll be boss.

‐All right? ‐Uh, I don't know if I really...

‐Fuck. ‐[spits]

Um, thanks.

‐[sobs] ‐Oh.

‐God, I'm so sorry. ‐It takes longer if you cry.

I think you're being a little negative now.

And I just‐‐ I'm very sensitive.

Uh, I am trying to make this positive for ya.

If you can't find the positive in a hand job,

‐then I can't help ya. ‐Okay, sorry. Sorry.

Um, can we do a thing where I pretend

that you're my ex‐girlfriend?

‐'Cause I want to tell you... ‐No.

...there's some things I want to tell her.

Well, then go and tell her that.

Here, you come, you cum, you go.

‐It'd really help me, please. ‐All right, all right.

Twenty extra, you can say what you like.

Thank you. I appreciate you.

Um, Jourdan...

I'm sorry I'm not the man that you wanted me to be.

I'm sorry I'm not famous now.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

‐I'm sorry. I'm sorry. ‐No, no, no,

‐it's all right. ‐I just want to tell you

that I love you, I love you so much.

[sobs]

Boom. There it is!

Oh, you said it, what a beautiful moment.

I've said it. I love you.

Oh, it's like a Richard Curtis movie.

Oh, I'm just a boy, sitting under a whore,

telling her I don't love her. [laughs]

[Tanisha] There, there. It's all right.

Baba,you're going to be okay.

We could give him CBD oil. That cures everything.

Or MDMA, that always perks me up when I'm sleepy in da club.

Isn't that illegal?

They only put poor people in jail for doing drugs.

I'm too middle class to get arrested.

I mean, you'd be screwed 'cause you're brown.

[reporter on TV] This just in.

The popstar commonly known has Maxxx died.

What the f‐ing fuck.

Don.

Is Maxxx‐‐Maxxx is dead?

No, No, it's‐‐ hold on. No,

‐better than that, he's alive. ‐Oh.

But, we're telling everybody he's dead.

‐What? ‐You know, get the ball rolling.

Elvis sold way more units dead than he ever did alive.

‐[Tamzin] What the fuck? ‐What the fuck? What the fuck?

You should be happy.

You're the one who didn't want to pull the real plug.

I pulled the metaphorical plug.

Real news, fake news. No one cares.

‐He's not dead. ‐You need the inside voice here,

and you're getting hung up on the details.

Look, if he croaks now, or in a few hours,

really, who cares?

You get a bit of momentum going before the real deal.

You're evil.

Thank you.

Welcome to healthcare at home, with me, Dr Sanchez.

When looking after the vegetable man,

it is very important to keep his mind active.

It could be music, it could be a story,

it could be cha cha, but keep him engaged.

Otherwise [whistles] he gone. With many different things‐‐

Okay, I've got to keep your brain active.

Um, okay I'll tell you a story.

Have you ever played the game, Danger Wank?

Oh my God, it used to be my fave.

Basically, you call for your mum,

just before you finish, so then you have to cum

before she gets to the door.

I don't think my mum is coming back.

Basically, she left like six months ago.

I've just been living off her credit cards.

I've been so lonely.

And then you came along, and suddenly, I had purpose.

I had meaning.

You are my meaning.

You sexy chocolate cookie dough.

Rose.

[Death] Okay Maxxxy, its condemnation time.

Wait, let me find something‐‐ Look, if you're gonna show

every time a person pays for sex,

of course they're gonna look bad.

[Death] What do you think you're going to find Maxxxy?

Boom.

‐[groans] ‐Okay, okay.

The best of Maxxx.

My spirit just catched me and said,

'Take a second hand kid, and bring him to a new life.'

Do you know what I mean? That's what I'm trying to do.

That's what I'm talking about, homie.

I'm adopting a fucking child right now.

I'm basically Angelina Jolie in the UN. Thank you.

Hey kiddies, what's going on? I bet you know who I am.

Do you?

No? I sold 18 million records,

so a lot of people know who I am.

[gasps] Celebrity adoption, is it?

Well..

‐Go away. ‐Oh.

[Sister Margaret] Amit,

bring tea for the deluxe package.

Oh, I mean...

[Sister Margaret] You should meet Kumel.

‐Kumel? ‐Kumel, come!

Ah! Hey.

[chuckles] You don't have to bow, little man.

‐It's just the Maxxx. ‐Oh, it's my pleasure.

‐Oh, he speaks English. ‐Oh, yes.

Actually, I speak five languages.

‐Get outta here. ‐May I show him?

‐Certainly. ‐Show a man.

[speaks German]

‐German. ‐Huh.

‐[speaks Chinese] Chinese. ‐Naughty.

I can also whistle like a nightingale.

Oh, my God.

I've never even heard anyone do that before,

that's‐‐ that's a mad ting.

Where did he learn that?

Oh. [chuckles] I mean, jeez.

He can really whistle. Fuck!

‐Oh, be Jesus! Amit... ‐Oh, jeez.

...what have you done?

You useless peasant boy.

Oi, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Lady, you're gonna hit the kid.

"He doth infect my eyes." That's Shakespeare.

Yo, Stephen Fry, shut up. Hey, you okay?

‐Do you like magic? ‐[Kumel] Magic.

Introduced in the ming‐dynasty‐‐

Okay, shut the fuck up. Okay?

Nobody's interested, bruh. Okay. Nobody's‐‐ Go.

Who do you think you are, Alfred Einstein?

Okay, look at this.

You see the coin? You see it?

Okay, keep your eye on the coin.

Boom, okay. Where's the coin?

Where is it? You give up?

It's right here. Don't give up, dum‐dum.

Don't give up, dum‐dum.

That's enough.

Hey. I'm taking him.

I bet Madonna wasn't like this.

Bam! What I tell you? Oh, who's holy, who's good?

Sorry, I'm just getting a call. Give me one minute.

Just one minute. Yo!

Little orphan boy,

picked him from the‐‐ What, what, what?

Yeah, yeah, I just got him now. Sweetheart,

I'm not doing any press. No magazine covers.

How much?

Is that your offer or your telephone number?

‐Oh, shit. ‐Oh.

Yeah, I mean, we could do a little thing.

Yo, kiddy. Come here, come here.

You disgust me.

‐Can you say paparazzi? ‐Paparazzi.

You don't know how to love anyone but yourself.

‐Say money. ‐[camera shutter clicks]

Time is up.

Let me tell you a little story, habibi, hmm.

A few epochs back, the big man, he was pissed.

Because mother fuckers, they like to get high and fuck

all day long.

So, what did God do, he sent down a flood.

So now everyone, apart from Noah,

his family boat, a load of two by twos,

they took the land back.

I look down and I see that the water,

it is holocausting everyone.

Have you ever seen someone drown?

‐No. ‐It's ugly.

Then I notice

that God has left a few children down there.

Even the disabled, and the lovably simple.

They are choking to death, while Noah, he just floats away.

So, I go to God on the humble, and I say to him,

'King on most high.'

Because he likes to be called that.

'You have infinite power,' I say.

'Why don't you save those children?

They are drowning.' And do you know

what God said to me? And he said

'Fuck them kids.'

Just like that. Fuck them kids.

So, I realise, God does not mind if in your life,

there is a lot of pain, and a lot of suffering.

You just have to accept that.

And do something meaningful.

What have you done in your life that is meaningful?

Nothing. That is what I thought.

[monitor beeping]

[thunder rumbles]

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Baba, what's happening? Rose, call a doctor right now.

Rose, call a doctor right now.

Baba, can you hear me? Baba, Baba, can you hear me?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet.

You're my only family, Dad. [speaking foreign language]

Come on! [speaking foreign language]

I'm here, son.

Baba, wake the fuck up, what you doing? Baba!

‐Wake up! ‐[Maxxx] Amit.

[Amit] Baba, wake up.

Wake up, chicken shit! Baba, wake up.

Doctor. Rose.

‐I'm not a doctor. ‐No, no just get a doctor.

I could give him mouth to mouth.

‐I'll get a Doctor. ‐No, no, no need.

‐TV is the best teacher. ‐[Tamzin] What are you doing?

‐No. No, no, no. ‐Clear!

Fuck. Oh...

‐Come on, Dad. ‐Shit. It's not been plugged in.

‐You're a fucking chicken shit. ‐[Death] See.

Your son doesn't want you anymore either.

But...

He said but.

But...

Get to the other side of the sentence, son.

But, I need you. I need your hope,

your stupid plans. Don't give up, dum‐dum.

‐He needs me. ‐Don't give up, dum‐dum.

If I let you go back and you carry on the same way

‐that you al‐‐ ‐I swear to fucking God...

I swear to holy God, I swear to holy God.

What is wrong with you?

If you fuck this up, it will be boils and petulance.

‐Yeah, yeah, yeah, hang on. ‐You will pray for death.

I swear to God, just give me a chance, please.

Don't give up, dum‐dum.

Yes, okay.

Last chance, Maxxxy.

‐Clear! ‐Or I will come back for you.

[grunting] Oh, God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I'm alive.

‐I'm alive. ‐[Amit] Baba, you're back.

‐[Maxxx] Oh, jeez. ‐You're back. Take it easy.

You don't understand, I saw death, Son.

I saw death.

I'm gonna be a better cousin, I promise you.

I'm gonna be a better father, I promise you.

I'm gonna be authentic. I'm gonna be real‐‐

Hey, I'm on TV.

[reporter] ...Boy Town to die this year.

And fans are united in their grief.

‐I can't believe he's gone. ‐[reporter] Vigils in London,

Japan and Germany. Maxxx, the second of Boy Town

to be struck down, became famous in the early 2000's

What, why am I on TV, turn it up?

Why am I on TV?

[reporter] ...his fans have decided...

Oh, fuck.

I can't believe Maxxx is gone, I want him back.

[reporter] Now the crowd are chanting...

They want me to come back.

I just want him back.

[reporter] It seems everyone has gone Maxxx mad...

They certainly fucking do, and now we can give it to them.

Oh, Maxxxy, this is the miracle that we've been waiting for.

I was so worried about you.

I paid monks to chant for you.

Now look what it's given us. Oh, Maxxx,

you've got the whole world behind you.

You've got your single out. Now, you and me are gonna‐‐

‐No. ‐This is exactly what‐‐

‐You talk. ‐No, it's gonna be authentic.

Okay?

You took the words right out of my mouth.

‐Authentic. ‐Yeah.

‐Of course, it's the new you. ‐No, no I mean it.

‐Look in my eyes. ‐Uh‐huh.

‐Yeah, it is you. ‐I'm looking.

You and me are gonna make the most

authentic music video in the history of music videos,

I promise you that on the life of my grandmother.

Okay.

‐Thank you. ‐No, thank you.

♪ Wade in the water ♪

♪ Wade in the water Children wade ♪

♪ Wade in the water ♪

♪ God's gonna trouble The water ♪

♪ See those children All dressed in white ♪

♪ God's gonna trouble The water ♪

♪ Must be the children Of the Israelites ♪