All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S05E20_2

[theme music]

- Hi.
- Hi.

You know Mr. Wafting

is still recovering
from his hernia operation?

I don't suppose
you have any musical talent?

Have I any musical talent?

My dear woman, you are talking

to the second runner-up

in the western Highlands
All-Scotland Banjo Championship.

I won a sheep.

You see, he plays banjo.

A banjo player?

This is
a musical-appreciation club

not hee-haw.

- He won a sheep.
- This is classical music.

We have a recital Friday.

Dr. Samuels,
I love classical music.

Why don't I nip out
to the pawnshop, redeem my banjo

bring it back and play you
a few ditties, how's that?

No, that won't be necessary.
You got the job.

[instrumental music]

[singing in foreign language]

Brilliant!
Absolutely beautiful, Monica.

As a matter of fact, the only
thing that can compliment that

is a bit of accompaniment
on this.

Would you care to join me
in a little rendition

of "Clinch Mountain Backstep?"

That would be like inviting
Pavarotti to a hootenanny.

I'll take that as a no then,
huh?

Well, what do you normally do

for musical appreciation
around here?

Well, usually,
Monica sings the music.

And we appreciate her.

Well, that's absurd,
you can't appreciate music

without makin' music.

Oh, but we're not
any good at it, Billy.

- Simone..
- Well..

At least, that's what
Mr. Wafting keeps telling us.

She's right. They're not.

But it doesn't matter
how good you are at it.

It's how you feel about it
that counts, you know?

Music has charms
to soothe the savage breast.

Do somethin' about it.

Clap your hands, stomp
your feet, sing a little song.

- Play the banjo, like this.
- Oh, uh..

I thought we were going to have
a recital.

- Not a minstrel show.
- We are.

Well, this is not the way
we do recitals.

Normally,
we choose the best singer

me, to get up at assembly period

and perform
for the student body.

The programs
have already been printed.

Well, we'll have to pencil in
a few changes then, won't we?

Because now
everybody is gonna participate.

Oh, not quite everybody.

I'm not sharing the stage with
the harmonically handicapped.

Ooh!

Wow! Talk about a savage breast.

Uh, uh, Billy, when you said

that everyone
was gonna participate

you meant as in
hand out programs, right?

No, everybody is gonna
participate on stage

in front of the entire school!

This is your big chance!

Come on, everybody,
it's show time!

[indistinct chatter]

Oh.

That's the spirit.

What a merry band of troubadours
we have here, huh?

Well, Billy,
I'm not gonna get on stage

in front of the whole school
and humiliate myself.

Me either. I only joined
this club to meet cute nerds.

Billy, I really only like
Mr. Wafting's lectures.

None of us can sing
this kind of music.

[scoffs]
Well, speak for yourself.

I've been waiting
for this chance.

That's the stuff, Alan.

[Alan clears throat]

[singing in foreign language]

[woman singing]

Alan, did you put your shorts on
backwards this mornin'?

Hey, somebody's singing.

It's coming from the air duct.

Well, it's beautiful!
I wonder who it is.

[singing continues]

It's the Phantom
of Fillmore High.

[instrumental music]

Okay, geniuses,
who wants to play detective?

We've got to find
who the Fillmore phantom is.

The phantom of Fillmore High.

Welcome
to Who Cares Playhouse.

Well, just a minute. I care.

Someone in this school
has an incredible natural gift.

A gift that should be
nurtured and developed.

Well, it should be nurtured
and developed by Friday

or one of us is gonna have
to make a fool of himself.

Yeah, Billy, whoever
this phantom is could make

our music-appreciation
club recital

the best one
that we've ever had.

Hey, a cat with a hair ball
could do that.

Hey, TJ, TJ,
you've got a great voice.

Oh, TJ, would you be interested
in joining

our music-appreciation club

and singing
in the recital, please?

Night of one hundred nerds,
please.

My TJ is a little bit too hip
for that.

Excuse me? I am not your TJ.

And I can speak for myself,
thank you.

I'm sorry, Sarah, but
I'm a little too hip for that.

Are you saying I'm not hip?

If the pocket protector fits,
wear it.

[laughing]

I-I-I believe
that dude is dissing

my personal sense of style.

TJ, I don't get it, you sang
in "Little Shop Of Horrors"

and you sang
when we put on "Hair."

Yeah, and I took a lot of flak

from it from my old friends.

But this egghead music you guys

are talkin' about singin'

uh-huh, ain't even
borderline cool.

Oh, cool, not cool.

Hip, not hip.
What's that got to do with it?

Have you listened to the sounds
that they're playing?

The luminous beauty
of the music?

The glorious classical style?
The technical perfection?

Vivaldi transcends cool.
It's beyond hip.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

When Vivaldi appears
on "Soul Train"

we'll go check it out.

Yeah, right.

[instrumental music]

Shh, shh.

[tapping]

Okay, then,
who's gonna go first?

I am, Billy.

What are you gonna do for us,
Nancy?

I'd like to play the
"Polovtsian Dances" by Borodin.

Fabulous! You can play
the "Polovtsian Dances."

- No problem.
- 'Alright.'

[instrumental
"Polovtsian Dances"]

That is really wonderful.

Be sure you bring a tape
with some applause.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, I hear somethin'.
I hear somethin'.

We've got to find that voice!

Come on, Arvid, you're gonna be
our little human

portable sonic sensing device.

- Right in here.
- Wa-wa-wait a minute, Dennis.

Why should I have to get
on my knees an-an-and

shimmy through
a-a teeny little vent?

I mean, why don't you
get on your..

Alright.

Alright, let me
get this thing off.

[woman singing]

- Alright, get in there.
- Okay.

- Get your head down.
- 'Watch out, Arvid.'

[Arvid screams]

(Arvid)
I think I'm stuck.

This calls for a portable
forward thrust unit.

- Hey!
- Turn the music up, Nancy.

Hey, Billy, Billy, look,
I got

the original construction
blueprints from Miss Meara.

The auditorium air duct
is connected

to the one
in the history classroom.

Okay, I'll go trace the phantom,
you look after Arvid here.

- Alright.
- 'Amazing!'

[indistinct chatter]

(Arvid)
'Hey! Where am I?'

Hang on, little buddy.
I'll get you out of there.

Alright, give me your feet.
Ow! Give me your feet!

(Arvid)
'Let go!'

[trouser rips]

(Arvid)
'Hey, it's a little drafty
in here!'

[singing continues]

How long have you been
standing there?

Oh, long enough to know you have
a really glorious voice.

The whole music class heard you.

We were listening
through an air duct.

Oh, no. They didn't know
it was me, did they?

Well, the going theory is that

Beverly Sills
is repairing the furnace.

[chuckles]
Yeah, good. Well, let's keep it
that way, alright?

Yeah. So, I saw you.

You really love this music,
don't you?

- Well, love lots of music.
- Yeah.

So is music the secret passion
of TJ Jones, huh?

Well, you know, sometimes
when you see me in the hallway

and I have my earphones on
and it looks like

I'm boppin' to a beat, actually

I'm listening to Bach,
Mozart, Handel, you know?

Yeah, so those things
you said in the class

this mornin', I mean,
you didn't really mean them.

They were
for Aristotle's benefit, huh?

Yeah, my old friends, too.

You know, Billy,
rap, jazz and house music

they're the only things I still

have in common
with these people.

And if I were to get up on stage

and start singing some oratorio

man, I'd get dissed
by my whole neighborhood.

Uncool.
You know what I'm sayin'?

(Billy)
'Hm.'

Can you spell hypochondriacal?

- Say what?
- H-Y-P-O-C-H-O-N-D-R-I-A-C-A-L.

- Ooh, very impressed.
- Yeah.

Spelling champion of Scotland,
three years running.

- Thank you.
- Really? No kidding.

I was spitting champ
on my block for two.

Oh, I'll take your word
for that.

I spelled scintilla in Glasgow,
defenestration in London

and antidisestablishmentarianism
in Sydney.

Spellin' took me
right around the world.

- It was F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C.
- Billy..

Why are you telling me
all of this?

Because if I'd listened
to my so-called friends

I'd still be in Glasgow.
That's the truth.

Hey, Billy,
can you spell F-I-S-T?

So they're still
in the same old slums

scrubbin' around, lookin'
for jobs in the same old docks

where there's no jobs anymore.

So what you're sayin' is,
if I were to get up and sing

at this recital, I could wind up
seeing the whole W-O-R-L-D?

You never know.

What would you say
if I brought somebody

from Julliard here to see you?
Would you be interested?

Wow, from Julliard? Whoa!

That'll be somethin', I mean,
you know, I was planning

on majorin' in business
because that's practical.

But, whoa, what I would
really love to do is music.

Yeah. Okay.

You see, TJ,
when these opportunities arise

you gotta grab them
with both hands.

The future spreads out
before you.

- The horizon--
- Billy? Billy, Billy, Billy.

- I said okay.
- Oh, come on.

I'm on a sort of roll.
The horizon goes on and on..

[indistinct chatter]

(Arvid)
'Yoo-hoo! Phantom!'

'Hello!'

♪ Ave Maria-- ♪

Hey, I'm sorry, Billy. Look,
I'm looking for TJ. Have..

- TJ, what are you doin' here?
- I'm singin', baby!

I'm a mezzo-soprano!

Wait a minute,
you have time for this

but you don't have time for me?

I happen to enjoy this.

You'd probably enjoy it, too,
Aristotle.

We're just jammin'
a little hip-hop groove here

called "Ave Maria."

Bing-bing, I pass.

Oh, come on, Aristotle,
in its day

this stuff was funky fresh,
let me tell you.

Schubert's mother used to shout,
"Hey, Franz

stop playing the harpsichord!
Come down for your dinner!"

Hey, come on, TJ, why are you
even singing this junk?

You're gonna make yourself
look like a fool. Come on.

- Let's bust.
- And why is that?

Because, I mean, this music
is history. Like, old news.

Like, not happening.
It's not your kind of music.

Oh, and what is
my kind of music?

I don't know, why don't you sing
some hip-hop or some house

or somethin'
with a little bit of soul in it?

Oh, well, music is music.

And if, I don't care if some guy
from the year 12 writes it.

If I like it, I'm gonna sing it.
You got that?

I got it.

Aristotle, come back here!

[door shuts]

- You okay, TJ?
- Yeah. Never better.

Do you wanna go and have a word
with him or somethin'?

No, no, let's..

- Let's sing, Billy.
- Okay.

[piano music]

♪ Ave Maria.. ♪♪

(Arvid)
'Hey, guys,
I think I found the phantom!'

I'm almost there!
The voice is right up ahead!

I..

I, I-I thought
I'd heard the phantom.

My mistake.

(Arvid)
Hey, yo, phantom!

'Yoo-hoo!'

I think
you'll be very impressed.

Mind you, I think you'll find
that TJ is a little, uh

earthier than
your normal Julliard student.

Well, don't worry,
my best soprano likes to belch

"Flight Of The Bumblebee."

[laughing]

[sighs]

- You're from Julliard?
- Yes.

[singing in foreign language]

I'm so excited, you guys!

- It's standing room only.
- Oh, man!

TJ, you're a big draw.
The remedial class is here.

Even the kids who play hooky
are here today.

Well, well,
is Aristotle out there?

- Um, I don't know.
- Shh, shh.

- Okay, TJ, how you feelin'?
- Lousy.

That's understandable.
It's nerves.

Once you start it,
it'll be great.

No, it won't,
Billy, I don't have stage fright

'cause I'm not goin'
on the stage.

(Simone)
'TJ, what are you
talking about?'

What are you talkin' about?

Why not?

Do you know
how to spell quit, Billy?

A-R-I-S-T-O-T-L-E?

Yeah, well, he hasn't spoken
to me in two days

and I don't know
what his problem is.

All I know is, I have a choice.
Schubert or Aristotle.

Let's face it, Billy, you can't
get a hickey from a dead guy.

I can't believe
you're givin' up this chance.

Yeah, well, neither can I.
And I know he's wrong.

But I don't care, Billy. I don't
wanna lose him, you know?

Sorry.

Okay, you're all members
of the music-appreciation club.

Who would like to appreciate it
out loud?

Oh, no, Billy!
Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy.

- What's this?
- It's a gold earring.

Right. On a tin ear.

Oh, come on.
Dennis, what about you?

Well, I can play
Beethoven's Fifth.

- You can?
- Yeah. On my armpit.

Some show this is gonna be, huh?
No kids on the block.

I'm gonna try and talk
some sense into Aristotle.

Yeah. Good luck, Billy.

[indistinct chatter]

This seat taken?

No, but it will be,
TJ's friends are gonna show up

and watch her
make a fool out of herself.

Yeah? Well, I'm afraid they're
gonna be pretty disappointed.

[sighs]
TJ isn't singing tonight.

What do you mean she's not
singing? She told me..

Did she say why?

You. You're why.

Oh, I get it,
so you're here to talk me

out of talking her
out of doin' it, right?

Nope, I'm here to talk you
into talking her out

of talking her out of it.

Aristotle, there is only
one of two reasons

why you don't want her
to sing here tonight.

And the first is that you think
by performin' here

she's gonna be
somehow denyin' her roots.

Roots? Billy, this has
nothin' to do with roots.

Now what, are you gonna
give me a list of Afro-Americans

who are into classical music?

Yeah.

Leontyne Price,
Jessye Norman, Kathleen Battle.

Brilliant Opera singers.

Not to mention
Samuel Coleridge-Taylor.

I mean, they're all classical
leader like, like Schubert.

Like I said,
I already know that.

Like I know that
Wynton Marsalis plays baroque.

His "Haydn Trumpet Concertos"
are impeccable.

Ooh, are they now?

So you do like this stuff.

Alright, alright. You got me.
So what's your second reason?

The second reason is that you
are frightened of TJ's talent.

Oh, so what are you saying?
I'm jealous of her?

No, no, no.

You're frightened of where
TJ's talent might take her.

She's a brilliant singer.
You know that.

She'll probably go to Juilliard,
she'll meet interesting people

travel to exotic places.

And unless
you're a better singer

than both of us think you are

you probably
won't be goin' along.

And you think you're gonna
lose her, don't you?

Mind you..

...I could be wrong.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Okay, people

today's assembly period
will feature a recital

by the Musical
Appreciation Club.

Now, this is classical music,
so I want everyone

to remain quiet,
uh, dignified and respectful.

It won't go on that long.

And now
for your listening pleasure

the "Ave Maria"
by Franz Schubert.

[banjo music]

♪ I went down to Cripple Creek ♪

♪ To see what the boys there
had to drink ♪

♪ I get drunk
fell against the wall ♪

♪ Ol' corn likker
was the cause of it all ♪

♪ I'm goin' down Cripple Creek
goin' on a run ♪

♪ Goin' down Cripple Creek
to have a little fun ♪

♪ Roll my britches
up to my knees ♪

♪ Goin' down Cripple Creek
as I please ♪

[music continues]

♪ Whoa ♪♪

[music continues]

Thank you!

[audience cheering]

'Thank you so much!'

Thank you very much!

I saw "Fantasia"
and that wasn't "Ave Maria."

Twelve more times!

[banjo music]

TJ.

TJ.

Oh, it's you. What do you want?

You quit for me, didn't you?

No, I didn't quit for you.

I quit because it's dorky music
and I shouldn't be singin' it.

Yeah, right.

- What are you listening to?
- MC Hammer, baby.

[sighs]
Since when does MC Hammer
play a harpsichord?

Okay, so it's Bach.

You really love this music,
don't you?

Yeah. Well, maybe I do.
Do you got a problem with that?

If so, you better speak up.

Actually, I do have a problem
with it, TJ.

You know how much time you've
been spendin' on your IHP work?

Yeah, which I love
every minute of.

Yeah, I know,
but you haven't been spending

any time with me.

And then you join
this music club

and the next thing I know,
people are talkin'

saying you got this audition
with Juilliard

and you're gonna become
a big star. I mean..

I was afraid of losin' you,
alright?

Well, you're not gonna lose me.

You're the reason
I'm sitting here

instead of singin' in there.

I got a problem with that, too.

You're comin' out
of the classical closet.

[chuckles]

Come on,
bust a move and go on there

and sing some sweet nothings
to me.

Thanks.

[banjo music]

Thank you!

[audience cheering]

- Thank you very much, indeed.
- Billy!

Ladies and gentlemen,
may I introduce you

to the exotic song stylings
of Mr. Dennis Blunden

and his musical pit!

Well, alright.
Can I have B-flat, please?

(Billy)
Certainly. Hold on! Hold on!

I know you are a multi-talented
person, dear Dennis

but the star of the show
has arrived!

Ms. TJ Jones!

- Yay!
- 'TJ! TJ!'

[piano music]

♪ Ave ♪

♪ Maria ♪

♪ Gratia plena ♪

♪ Maria ♪

♪ Gratia plena ♪

♪ Maria gratia plena ♪

♪ Ave ave dominus ♪

♪ Dominus tecum ♪

♪ Benedicta ♪

♪ Tu in mulieribus ♪

♪ Et benedictus ♪

♪ Et benedictus ♪

♪ Fructus ventris ♪

♪ Ventris tui ♪

♪ Jesus ♪

♪ Ave ♪

♪ Maria ♪♪

- 'Whoo!'
- 'Wow!'

[audience cheering]

[indistinct]

(Billy)
'Congratulations.'

[audience cheering]

[theme music]

[music continues]