All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S05E16_2

[theme music]

Well, I'm sorry, Dr. Samuels,
I just can't do it.

What is it with you, Ms. Meara?

Every year I ask you
to chaperone the prom

and every year you find some
lame excuse to get out of it.

You know, I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Last year, you said you were
having your cat declawed.

The year before,
you were having your cat spayed.

You know, there's nothing left
for that animal.

Look, this-this, no excuses.

This year you're going
to chaperone the prom.

- And you, too, sir.
- What?

You're going to chaperone
the prom.

The Prom? Can I?

Oh, brilliant!
I'd love to go to the prom.

Granted, I don't know exactly,
precisely what a prom is.

But I've seen all those
prom movies, you know?

Buckets of pigs' blood
pouring on girls. Shh!

Mad slashers who've been
rejected for 20 years

exacting terrible revenge
with chainsaws.

[imitating chainsaw whirring]

Oh, boy, I can't wait.

See? Here's someone
with a good attitude.

[bell ringing]

- I hate proms.
- Really? Why?

Because every year
when prom time comes around

I can't stop thinking about
my own senior prom

and my father standing there
with a camera

and my mother's helping me
fix my hair.

I'm there in my beautiful dress
waiting for my date

who never showed up.

Really? What happened to him?

You know, I don't know,
Billy, I just..

I never saw him again.

Well, how'd you know
it was his fault?

I mean, for all you know,
there could be

a stuck elevator somewhere

and a skeleton in a tuxedo
with a corsage in one hand

and a roll of breath mints
in the other.

Serves him right.

[bell ringing]

But anyway, will you go with me
to the prom?

I promise, I won't stand you up.

I'd love to.

[laughing]

[laughing]

What, w-which one
did you tell her?

The one about the, uh

the one-legged nuclear physicist

and the petri dish?

No, I asked her
to go to the prom with me.

[laughing]

Oh, oh, Dennis.

It-it's nothing.
It's just a prom.

It's an-an
insignificant incident

in the vast time-space
continuum of the universe.

Couldn't get a date, either,
huh?

- That's right.
- Mm-hmm.

So I'll pick you up, say, 7:30

so we can be exactly
one hour late.

- Perfect.
- Alright.

Darlene, Darlene

you're going to the prom
with Alan?

Yeah. Why not?

He's dependable, he's tasteful,
he's courteous

and he won't distract
from my dress.

Oh!

Hey, T.J., can I talk to you
for a second?

- Yeah, yo, what's up?
- Check this out.

I just spent 200 bucks
on the most beautiful

black tux you have ever seen.

From now on, when you look up
Aristotle in a dictionary

it's gonna say..

..."Can't touch this."

[laughing]

Well, that sounds
real cool, man.

Cool, yeah, we're gonna be
the hottest couple there.

So what are you gonna bust
for threads?

Um, who said I was going
to the prom with you?

Oh, I'm sorry, alright,
I forgot my etiquette.

Just to make it official.

T.J., may I please
have the pleasure

of accompanying you to the prom?

Aristotle, I don't know yet.

You don't know? What do you
mean? You're my girlfriend.

I mean, why wouldn't we
go to the prom together?

You waitin' for a better offer?

Look, Aristotle,
I don't wanna talk about it.

T.J., why don't you wanna
talk about it?

Aristotle,
I don't wanna talk about

why I don't wanna talk about it.

Will you just leave me alone?

[instrumental music]

- Darlene.
- Thank you.

- Viki.
- Thanks.

Aristotle.

- Eric.
- Oh.

And T.J. T.J., can I see you
after class, please?

No problem.

[bell ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

[chuckles]
Yo, yo, Billy, my man.
This is not my paper.

- Sure it is.
- Unh-unh, no, it isn't.

See, it says here,
"Written by Bobby Pace."

- You're right enough.
- Mm-hmm.

Bobby Pace, now there's a name
from the past.

Bobby Pace, the oldest boy
in freshman history, huh?

The last written work
we had from him

was a forged note
from his doctor.

And now, suddenly,
like a bolt from the blue

there's a 20-page essay

on the social conditions
in pre-Tsarist Russia

leading
to the Russian Revolution.

- Mm-hmm.
- I am amazed!

Makes you feel real good

about our educational system,
doesn't it?

- Does it ever?
- Right here. Right here.

- Mm-hmm.
- You know, T.J.?

You have a very, very
distinctive writing style.

As a matter of fact,
you're the only student I have

who always uses a phrase,
"I think not"

in all of her written work.

- Bobby Pace's opening lines..
- Hm.

"Would Vladimir Lenin
have been pleased

by the totalitarian state
created by Stalin?"

"I think not."

T.J., you obviously wrote
this piece for Bobby.

- Do you wanna talk about it?
- I think not.

T.J., I haven't known you
very long

but I do know that you worked
incredibly hard

to get as far as the IHP
and stay there.

And I don't think
you'd jeopardize it

without a great reason.

Well, you're right about
one thing. There is a reason.

- Good. What is it?
- I can't tell you.

Oh, so what are you gonna do?
Throw me out of the IHP?

- Is that what you want?
- No.

You're comin' pretty close.
I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'm gonna go and think about
what I wanna do

and you go and think about
what you wanna do.

- Okay?
- Alright.

There you are. Look,
I really need to talk to you.

Man, you wanna talk to me.
He wants to talk to me.

Why don't you two
just talk to each other?

- 'Cause I got to go.
- Hey..

What's wrong with T.J.
all of a sudden?

I don't know, Billy,
but for the past few weeks

she's definitely needed
an attitude adjustment.

Hmph!

What do you know
about Bobby Pace?

- Bobby Pace?
- Hm.

- Uh-oh.
- What?

He's T.J.'s old boyfriend.

Ah, that could explain a lot.

It sure does.

- You want to see me?
- Ah, Bobby, come in.

Alright, Pace, me and you,
let's put it in the midst

right now, outside.

Hey, you're almost right.

You outside, okay?

Alright, but from now on
I'm in your face.

[grunts]

[chuckles]
Lucky for me,
you were here, Billy.

I mean, I could have busted up
my manicure on his face.

I read your paper
last night, Bobby.

Yeah, was there a problem?

Problem? It was brilliant!

The sensitivity you showed
in the role of women

in the Russian Revolution,
it was remarkable for a male.

Huh, you know me, man,
brother got to get in touch

with his feminine side.
You know what I'm sayin'?

So? So is that it?

No, no,
your work on Rosa Luxemburg.

It was incredible.

[snaps fingers]
Thanks. Peace.

'Oh, and your theory'

about Lenin's wife
being co-author

of "State And Revolution,"
unbelievable.

Where did you get that stuff?

Library.

- 'Really? Fantastic!'
- Yeah.

Tell me more about Trotsky's
role in the Russian Revolution.

Trotsky? Oh, Trotsky.

Trotsky, uh, silly me.

See, the thing
about Trotsky is..

I didn't write the paper.

What? No!

I didn't even, uh, read it.

Bobby, I would give you an F

but it'd only
bring your average up.

So far all we have
are incompletes.

Hey, at least
I handed something in.

That's got to be a step up.

Tell you what we'll do.

I want you to read
your own paper, right?

I'll give you a test on it.

Who knows, you might get
the best grades

in your high-school history.

[chuckles]
That'd really be somethin',
wouldn't it?

Me with a D.

But don't get T.J.
to help you, okay?

Now, look, if you and T.J.
wanna get back together

that's your own business.
You know what I mean?

But this stuff's
only gettin' her in trouble.

Back together?
We ain't back together.

So what's she doin'
all this for?

I paid her 20 bucks.

Oh, yo, she was helpin'
a lot of other kids

write their papers, too.

I just gave her a hand
for old times' sake.

That's what I get
for being so damn sweet.

You really are a prince,
Bobby, huh?

So why does she need
all the money for?

I don't know, man,
whatever she needs it for

she needs it now,
and she needs it fast

and she needs a lot of it.

[instrumental music]

(Dennis)
Yeah, my friend and I'll
pick her up at 8:00.

Thank you. We're set!

[sighs]
I-I don't know about this,
Dennis. An escort service?

Come on, Arvid,
this is gonna be great!

My date is sexy,
she's gorgeous, she's tall.

O-okay, okay,
but what does mine look like?

Actually, uh, a lot like mine.

- Wow. Similar.
- Yeah.

- In fact, it's the same girl.
- What?

Oh, come on, Arvid, what do you
want for a 100 bucks?

We can only afford one girl
between us.

Oh..

Maybe they can get us
two short ones.

Oh!

[bell ringing]

- Hi, T.J.
- Yo, what's up, Mr. Bill?

You know, T.J., I like a dollar
as much as the next guy.

What am I sayin'? I'm Scottish.

I love a dollar
more than the next guy.

But selling term papers
for money, that's pretty low.

Yeah, I know.

You must promise
you'll never do this again.

I promise.
I guess you're pretty mad, huh?

No, I'm not mad.
I'm kinda scared.

What do you need
all this money for?

I can't tell you.

Look, whatever it is, I can
help you. You must trust me.

Is it a family problem?

Is it drugs? Are you pregnant?

Come on, Billy, man,
it ain't nothin' like that.

Well, what is it?

You're gonna think it's stupid.

I'm not gonna think it's stupid.

I mean, whatever it is,
it must be really important

if you're gonna risk being
thrown out of school for it.

Alright, I'm gonna tell you,
but you gotta promise me

you're not gonna say a word
to Aristotle.

- I promise.
- Right, see, it's like this.

Right from the first day
in the IHP

I've been trying
to fit in, you know?

And just now I'm starting
to feel like I belong

you know,
like I was one of them.

But then all of a sudden,
this prom thing comes along

smackin' me right in my face,
and, Billy, man

I do not know
about stuff like that.

Well, anyway, Aristotle,
he really wants me to go.

But all the other girls there,
Billy, man, they are gonna be

lookin' fly.
That's nice, right?

- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Well, anyway.

I can't afford my prom dress.

It's dumb, huh?

[instrumental music]

Yo, uh, Aristotle.

Um, I got somethin' to tell you.

Um, I, uh, I can't go
to the prom with you.

Yeah, I figured this was coming.
You and Bobby Pace, right?

Huh!
What about me and Bobby Pace?

You're going out with him again,
aren't you?

Ha-ha! Please, my brother.

I'm not goin' back out
with Bobby Pace, mm-mm.

T.J., that is the biggest bull
I've ever heard. I hear rumors.

I see you hangin' around him
and his friends after school.

You don't even spend time
with me anymore.

What do you think I am,
a goober?

Yes, and for your information

I've been helpin' him
with his school work.

Bah! School work? Bobby Pace?

What are you helpin' him do,
spell his graffiti?

Okay, if you must know,
I've been selling term papers

to him and his friends!

What?

T.J., are you out of your mind?
You know what can happen to you?

No, but I'm sure
you're gonna tell me.

For one, you can get
thrown out of school.

Uh, secondly,
you-you'll lose any chance

of getting
any type of college education.

'Thirdly, you'll destroy
your future, our future.'

What could possibly be
so important to risk all that?

Aristotle, I told you
I can't tell you.

You can't tell me? I thought
we had some kinda relationship--

Aristotle, we do have
a relationship, but--

Oh, some kinda relationship!

You hang out with your old gang,
you lie to me

and you won't even go out
with me. This is great, T.J.

You know what?
This is over. We're over.

Aristotle.

Oh, Billy, look.

Hey, that's gorgeous.

But you know,
I can't wear chiffon.

Yeah. Them sequence
tear my armpits to bits.

Billy, it's my prom dress.

I'm gonna have it altered
during lunch.

You know, this has been in
the back of my closet for twen..

Well, years and, and now I'm,
I'm finally going to the prom

with someone
I wanna wear it for.

- Geez. Yeah, you can wear that.
- Yeah.

Or you could let someone else
wear that even.

My dress? Why would I let
somebody else wear my dress?

Oh, come on, Bernadette.

You don't need that dress
to be beautiful

any more than a heather-covered
hillside in Scotland

needs the morning mist.

- You buying this?
- No, I'm not.

- Billy, what is it?
- It's T.J.

She can't go to the prom.
She can't afford a gown.

Oh, so you want me
to give up my dress

a dress that has
incredible sentimental value

so that T.J. can go to the prom?

Yes.

Well, I think
that's the nicest way

a man has ever talked me
out of my dress.

[instrumental music]

No, no, I'm not gonna take it.

It's bad enough
you told Ms. Meara, Billy.

But now everybody in
the whole school is gonna know

I can't afford
my own prom dress.

T.J., this isn't pride.
This is ridiculous.

If you don't go to your prom

you could regret this
for the rest of your life.

I mean, you don't wanna end up

some dreadful old
wrinkled spinster.

'Think.'

With your old prom dress
tucked away

in a closet somewhere.

Yeah, to remind you
of some ancient prom

that the whole world's
forgotten about.

Your only company

a grandfather clock
in the parlor

ticking away the wasted seconds

of a tragically wasted life.

For God's sakes, T.J.,
take the dress

before he completely buries me.

But I don't have anybody
to wear it for.

Aristotle and I cut it loose,
you know, broke up.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
When did that happen?

Well, see, we got
into this big fight, right

'cause I didn't wanna
go to the prom

and because I was too proud
and too embarrassed

to tell him
I couldn't afford a dress.

Well, can't you go to the prom
on your own, then?

Oh, yeah, that would be great.

Come on, Billy, I wanna fit in,
not be the school joke.

In that case

I would be very honored

if you would accompany me
to the prom.

Well..

- Oh.
- Okay.

Thanks.

[instrumental music]

♪ Let the drum machine move ♪

♪ Risin' over top of you
like Jordan ♪

♪ Yomo and solo no more
never mind a thing.. ♪♪

I know how important
proms are to boys, Alex

and I just want you to know

if you tell anyone
that we do anything tonight

I'll kill you.

- Hey!
- Hi!

- You look great.
- Thanks.

So, uh, where's your date?

Well, I don't have one.

I mean, a couple of guys asked,
but I figured

there was no sense
in comin' with someone

I wasn't really crazy about.

Yeah, me, too. Yeah.

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪♪

Hey, that's our song.

- You wanna dance?
- Okay.

♪ That brought you to me
that night ♪

You know, Eric,
this isn't our song.

I know.

Well, maybe it will be.

♪ My defenses
came tumbling down ♪

♪ I was lost until I found.. ♪

Aristotle. How are you doin'?

I'd like you to meet Colleen.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Pretty impressive, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, Colleen, uh, looks like
the A-list isn't here yet.

So why don't you go outside
and check and see if, uh

Arvid's date is ready?

Okay.

So, uh, where's T.J.?

- We cut it loose.
- Huh?

- Broke up.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

No date to the prom, huh?

Gee, I wonder
what that feels like.

Dennis..

Hey, Aristotle.

How are you doin'?

I'd like you to meet my date,
Maureen.

- Hi.
- We've met.

Oh, oh, no, that was, uh,
Maureen's twin sister, Colleen.

Uh, Dennis' date.

So, uh, care to dance, Colleen?

Maureen?

Arvid. Come here. Come here.

Excuse me, uh, Mo.

Excuse me.

- May I have this dance?
- Sure.

Great, now we're paying
for Dr. Samuels

to dance with our date.

This is comin' out of your time.

My time?

- 'Oh, wow!'
- You look fabulous!

Thank you, thank you.

T.J.. Ah..

Uh, w-what are you
trying to do to me?

I mean, first of all,
you don't go to the prom with me

and then you show up
looking absolutely beautiful.

You're driving me crazy.

- You know this guy?
- I think not.

Hm, I get it,
I take you to the prom

but your heart
belongs to another.

I am a crushed person.

I yield
to the better, thinner man.

I shall seek solace
in the unfathomable depths

of yonder punch bowl. Excuse me.

So, um, would you like to dance?

Sure.

♪ Baby if this isn't love ♪♪

[instrumental music]

- Have you seen Darlene?
- Well, Alan..

I thought she was
supposed to come with you.

- 'Yeah.'
- I forgot her.

Well, I-I, I didn't forget her,
I was checkin' out the limo

and trying to find a corsage

whose scent wouldn't clash
with her perfume.

I had so many things to do
to make the evening perfect

that I showed up late,
and she'd already left.

Darlene.

- Darlene, I'm..
- Where were you?

- Alan?
- Darlene, I..

I was waiting outside
and it started to rain.

- Darlene, I'm--
- So I tried to get a taxi.

Do you know how hard it is
to get a taxi?

- In the rain, Alan?
- I know, I know, Darlene.

I ended up having to walk

fourteen blocks in the rain!

- Alan.
- Darlene..

Smelly man
tried to speak to me, Alan.

Darlene, I am so sorry.

Here's your corsage.

Thanks.

Still mad?

No. It's over. I'm not mad.

Good.

Could you please do something
with your hair?

What'd I say?

It's 9:01 and we're still here.

Oh, Jasper, it's wonderful.

How'd you ever get your parents
to let you stay out so late?

Simple, I march
right up to them

and told them
that I'm a mature young man

capable of handling
adult responsibilities.

Wow, and they just agreed
just like that?

Well, not exactly.

I had to promise to live at home
until I have my first child.

So you went through all that
just to look nice for me?

[chuckles]
Please, Aristotle.
Do not flatter yourself.

Well, look. I went through this
to look nice for you.

Well, I guess it was part of it.

T.J., it doesn't matter to me
what you wear.

Oh, yeah, but when I walked
in here wearing this dress

it sure did matter to you.

- Yes, I guess that's true.
- No, but it's more than that.

I guess it kinda,
you know, hurt my pride

you know,
to be the poor kid in the class

who couldn't afford
to go to the prom.

T.J., you don't need a dress
to have pride.

You've always had it
and you always will.

[rock music]

Oh, dear.

Looks like
your date stood you up.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, mine, too.

- Must be an idiot, huh?
- Oh, he is, but he's very cute.

Would you like
to go to the prom?

I'd love to go to the prom.

♪ We made this prom night ♪

♪ And set this fire burning ♪

♪ Forever again I find it.. ♪♪

[cheering]

[theme music]