All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S05E15_2

[theme music]

Well, here it is,
Mrs. Samuels' Christmas gift.

I'll stash it here,
that woman finds everything.

- What'd you get her?
- A dust buster.

Oh, boy, am I jealous.

And it's no ordinary
dust buster.

This will suck a tennis ball
through a garden hose.

[chuckles]
Well, you know,
it's thoughtful gifts like that

that keep a marriage
fresh and romantic.

Yes.

And I bought a little
something for you.

Oh! Don't tell me.

- A box of chalk?
- No. Close.

- It's a fruit cake.
- Oh, thank you so much.

Merry Christmas.

- Hi, Bernadette.
- Hi, Billy--

I just came in to talk
about the incredibly romantic

Christmas time
I've planned for us.

Billy, you know,
I-I'm gonna go visit

my family in North Carolina.

Oh, did I say Christmas?
I meant New Year's.

No, I-I'm gonna stay there
through the New Year.

Oh, everything I say
comes out wrong.

I actually meant Groundhog Day.

Well, have your family
get anything

planned for Groundhog Day?

Well.. Well, yes. We do.

Um, we exchange gifts.

Here's yours.
Happy Groundhog Day.

Oh, thank you.

Oh. A piece of the Berlin Wall.
Just what I always wanted.

[instrumental music ]

[bell rings]

Ah, thank you, Alex.

Good morning, geniuses!

(all)
Good morning, Billy.

Oh, Billy, are you planning

to go back to Scotland
for the holidays?

Ah, Christmas in Scotland.

I can see it now.

The crunch, crunch, crunch

of heavy boots
on newly fallen snow.

As the men march

over mountain, hill,
valley, Glendale River

moorland, swamp and bog

heading for the nearest bank

where they withdraw
all their money

count it and deposit it
all again.

[laughs]
No, I won't be going home.
I can't afford the fare.

(all)
Aww.

So, tell me
what your plans are.

Oh, well, my family always
goes to Rockefeller Center

to look at the Christmas tree
and go ice skating.

Well, the Glee Club
is going caroling

at the Times Square
subway station.

- Hmm.
- It's gonna be great.

Wait, isn't that dangerous?

Only if they sing.

[all laugh]

So, Viki, what is your plans?

I'm gonna try
to find my mother.

- Really?
- 'What're you talkin' about?'

Well, I've never met her before.

How could you've not
met your own mother?

- I'm adopted.
- Oh.

[instrumental music]

So, Viki, you're adopted.
That's incredible.

So, how're you gonna go
about finding her?

And what does your
adopted mother think about it?

And what does your other mother
think of all this?

And why does everything I say
come out like a question?

[laughing]

Billy, I don't know the answer
to any of those questions.

All that I know
is that I'm very scared

but I'm finally gonna do it.

And what exactly
are you gonna do?

Well, I've been meeting
with this support group

that helps you get past
all the red tape.

I just hope that
they find her soon.

Every Christmas,
I think about her.

I wonder where she is
and what she could be doing.

This year, I finally got
the nerve to try to find out.

- I wonder what she's like.
- Oh, I know. Me, too.

Sometimes, I'll be
at the health food store

or in line at a movie,
and I'll see someone

and our eyes will connect
for just a moment

and I'll think,
"She could be my mother."

Well, we're here
to help you, babe.

Let's see, we're looking
for a tall blond

great legs, killer body,
killer smile

little spacey, but hot.

[Viki giggles]

Mom!

Uh, Billy,
could I see you for a moment?

Sure.

Billy, I feel just terrible

about letting you spend
Christmas alone.

Bernadette, for the last time,
I'll be fine.

Well, if it makes you
feel any better

I think all of us have had
bad Christmases before.

- Oh, you have?
- Yeah.

- Well, tell me about it.
- Okay.

Um, I was about seven years old

and, uh, I really wanted
the Suzy-Q easy-bake oven.

- Yeah?
- I didn't get it.

That's it?
That's a bad Christmas?

God.

I mean, I remember
a bad Christmas.

My father had turned up
with a black tie

and told us
Santa Claus was dead.

No, no, that-that wasn't
such a bad Christmas.

That was actually
quite a good one.

A bad Christmas was
when he turned up

with an empty cardboard box

and told us it was
a box of soldiers

who'd turned out
to be deserters.

Mind you,
it wasn't the worst.

The worst one was awful,
I remember.

The thing I remember most
I think

was the sleet
comin' horizontally.

I remember my socks were wet
and I was really cold.

I'd asked Santa for some
underwear of my own..

[instrumental music]

[bell ringing]

Hey, you guys,
I've got great news.

They found my mom.

- Hey, that's great!
- Great! Where is she?

Well, she lives right here
on the Upper West Side.

Her name is Rose Gibson.

[all gasp]

So, when are you gonna go
see her?

- Soon.
- Soon? Why not now?

Well, I'd been talking
to other adopted kids

who have gone through
this sort of thing.

And they say it's always best
to have an intermediary

go and meet them first.

I mean, so you don't freak
them out or anything.

- 'Yeah.'
- 'Yeah.'

I don't suppose you have
an intermediary in mind

or anything like that?

Well, actually, Billy, I do.

What do you say?
Will you do it?

I would be delighted to do it.

I think this is going to be
a really important event

in your life and I'm really
flattered to be a part of it.

I do, however,
have one condition.

Anything.

Take this bloody fruit cake
off my hands, will ya?

[instrumental music]

- Oh, are you ready, Billy?
- Oh, yeah.

Are you sure your parents think
this is okay now?

Oh, yeah.
My mom's behind me 100 percent.

- Great.
- So, what are you gonna say?

Oh, I've got my speech
all prepared.

"You know, Mrs. Gibson..

"...life is a bit
like a boomerang sometimes

"things have a habit
of bouncing back.

A bit like
your daughter really."

[laughs]

You're not gonna say that,
are you?

- No, I'm only joking. Relax.
- Oh, well, don't joke.

I mean, what if she doesn't
have a sense of humor?

She will have a sense of humor.

After all, you've got..

Okay.

- No jokes.
- Oh.

- I'm off.
- You're gonna do a great job.

- Right.
- Don't blow it, Billy.

As if I would.

Mom?

Uh, what are you doing here?

Oh, I-I just dropped by
to bring you a dress.

Mom, this isn't gonna work.

Look...honey,
I think it's fine

that you want to go and meet
with your birth mother.

Really, I do.

I just don't want you
to be dressed

like you were raised by Cher.

Mom, this is Mr. MacGregor.

Did Viki tell you that

she was going to look
for her natural mother?

- Oh..
- Oh, m-mom, I'm not going.

Really? Oh, great.

- You've come to your senses.
- No, that's not what I mean.

I'm sending someone
to meet with her first.

Someone else?

[scoffs]
I'm not good enough?

Well, th-this is a very, very
delicate situation, Mrs. Amory.

It's much better to have someone
who isn't emotionally involved--

Excuse me, what do you have
to do with all of this?

Mom, I've asked
Mr. MacGregor to go for me.

You mean, a stranger is a better
person to do this than me?

Mom, I love you very much

but this is between me
and my birth mother.

Hm, and Angus McBagpipe
over here.

This is between
everybody but me.

[sighs]
I'm really sorry, mom.

This is something that
I have to do without you.

Without me? You're my daughter.

But it's my life.

[instrumental music]

[knocking]

- Hello, Mrs. Gibson.
- Oh..

Look, please hear me out.
My name is MacGregor.

I teach at Fillmore High School.

Well, one of my students,
Viki, has asked me

to come along here
and, uh, talk to you.

Now, listen, this may come
as something of a shock to you.

But, eh, she believes
that she is your daughter.

And she would like to meet you

and she sent me along here
to try and arrange this.

She would really love
to meet you

and you'd be immensely
proud of her.

She's very beautiful,
bright as a button and..

...possibly the most original
figure I've ever known.

She once tried to convince me
that America

wouldn't have been in Vietnam

if LBG only had
more fiber in his diet.

But I.. I-I digressed.

Look, she-she's kinda desperate

to meet the woman
who gave birth to her.

So, what do you say?

Can I tell her
you'll-you'll meet her?

Please tell her
that I'm really happy

to know everything
turned out well for her

and that I'm doing fine, too.

Well, thank you for coming by.

Oh, Mrs. Gibson, I-I don't
think I did that very well.

Uh...look, she-she would
love to meet you again.

C-can I tell her
that y-you'll see her?

Um, M-Mr. MacGregor

let me make this
as clear as possible.

I don't want to see her.

Now, please leave me alone.

Merry Christmas.

[instrumental music]

So, Billy,
when do I get to meet her?

Well, actually, Viki..

...you can't.

She doesn't wanna meet you.

What? Why? How can that be?

I don't know, she seems
to have a life of her own now

and she doesn't want it
disturbed.

But I'm her child!

How could she turn her back
on me like that?

I guess she has her own reasons.

At any rate, that's the way
she seems to want it.

But I didn't choose that, Billy.

There's a whole part of my life
that I don't even know about.

What gives her the right
to keep that from me?

I don't know.

[sighs]
Great.

Now I have two moms
who aren't speaking to me.

Ah, your mom will be okay.

Yeah, I'm sure
she'll be thrilled.

She's just scared, that's all.

Of what?

I grew up with her.
I love her.

- What could she be afraid of?
- I don't know.

I think she's kinda terrified

that when you meet
your birth mother

some kind of biological
magic's gonna happen

and you're gonna
forget all about her.

- That's ridiculous.
- Well, you know that.

And I suspect
she knows it, too

but she's still scared.

Well, she can stop worrying.
Her problem is solved.

Uh, look..

...I'm really sorry, Viki.

I just can't believe
she could do that to me.

[instrumental music]

Good morning, Dr. Samuels.
You're looking well.

Uh, listen, I'm trying
to collect money

for the Christmas For Kids Fund,
and I was wondering

if you'd like to
make a little contribution.

[coins clanking]

Get outta here, Blunden.

Don't be bothering
these working people

with your bunco schemes.

Bu..

What's going on here?

I'm trying to collect money

uh, to buy Christmas toys
for needy kids

and Dr. Samuels over there's
acting like Scrooge.

Humbug, you're a fraud, Blunden.

Well, I think
that's admirable, Dennis.

- There you go.
- Thanks.

And, uh, God bless you, Billy.

Out. Out. Out. Out.

- Dr. Samuels, this is a legit--
- We've heard it all before.

- I'm trying to make--
- Ah-ba-ba-ba.

- Ah, get out.
- Aw, man.

Out!

You patsy.

(Bernadette)
'Will you take care
of that for me?'

Uh, how'd it go with Viki?

Ah, not so good.

She took it rather well though,
I must say.

I'm not very good
at breaking bad news.

And I'm afraid
I'll have to do that again.

Yeah? What's wrong?

Kennedy and La Guardia
completely snowed in.

All flights
to North Carolina canceled

until further notice.

Terrible thing.

Nice try, Billy.

Ah, well,
I gave it my best shot.

Look, I bought you
a little something.

But you must promise not to open
it until Christmas, okay?

Oh, I promise. You know, I have,
it's a tradition with me.

I never ever open gifts
until Christmas morning.

Okay. Right, I'll see you
when you get back?

- Okay, goodbye.
- Have a great time.

Thank you. Okay. So long.

See ya.

[wrapper rustling]

An easy-bake oven.

[instrumental music]

Oh, my God.

Look, I know this is a bad time,
being Christmas Eve and all.

I just wanted to see
what you look like.

Look, the real reason I came by

was because I wanted to see
if it was true

that the woman
who gave birth to me

really doesn't want to see me.

It's true.

Okay, I'll go.

You know, I can't believe
that you can stand there

and not say anything.

There are so many things
that I wanna know about myself.

Like, who my father is.

Do I have brothers and sisters,
grandparents?

Are you right-handed
or left-handed?

Are you afraid of thunder?

Do you sometimes think
you have ESP?

Do you get any fever?

I don't even know
when your birthday is.

Viki, I understand why
you have all these questions

and I wish that I could
sit down with you

and talk about everything.

But if I let you in this door

I'm gonna have to dredge up
a lot of memories.

And...a lot of very
complicated feelings.

You're gonna get angry..

...I'm gonna cry.

And then, there's my husband.

I never f-found a way
to tell him about you.

What would I say to him?

It wasn't easy giving you up

and staying out of your life
for all these years.

And then...you show up.

Knock on my door like you're
selling girl scout cookies.

What do you expect me to do?

To invite you in
and change my entire life?

- Yes.
- I can't.

I just don't have the guts.

- You have to.
- Why?

Because I'm worth it.

Yup.

You're worth it.

[sniffles]

Come on in.

[instrumental music]

[knocking on door]

(all)
Merry Christmas, Billy!

- So, what's up?
- Hey, Billy!

♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas
we wish you a-- ♪♪

- Arvid, not now.
- What's goin' on here?

Billy, we're your
Christmas present.

My what?

Well, we decided
the best present

we could give you
was our company.

That way, you wouldn't have
to spend your first Christmas

in America all alone.

Aw, that's lovely!

No presents, huh?

- Oh, Billy!
- I'm kidding.

How would you like the official
tour of the apartment?

- Hey, great.
- Good.

[chuckles]

Would you like to see it again?

- Oh, Billy.
- Billy.

Billy, sorry
Dennis didn't show up.

He's out pushin'
his Christmas scam again.

(all)
Yeah.

Okay, why don't
we all gather around

the old video fireplace, huh?

Oh, great.
Where's the video marshmallows?

- Shh.
- 'Ho! Ho! Ho!'

Merry Christmas!

Hey! Can you believe it?
It's Dennis!

- Hey!
- Sorry, I'm late, guys.

Sorry, I'm late,
but I was making

a fortune on a 106th Street.

I'm tellin' ya, this Santa suit
makes all the difference.

- Aw, man.
- That's really low, Dennis.

Yeah, I'll say.

Somewhere out
there's a naked fat guy

with a bell and a bucket.

- Oh, God!
- No, no!

Alright, alright, you guys still
don't think I'm legitimate?

- I won an award.
- 'What?'

- 'Let's see!'
- Take a look at this.

"This is in recognition
of Dennis Blunden's

"fund raising efforts
on behalf

of the Christmas For Kids
program."

Billy, he was tellin' the truth.

No wonder we didn't believe him.

Well, I believed him.

Mind you, I believe wrestling
on TV's on the up and up.

[laughing]

[knocking on door]

Hold on, hold on.

[indistinct chatter]

- Ah, Mrs. Emily.
- Mr. Butinski.

Excuse me for barging
in here like this.

But if Viki could
tear herself away

from your fabulous
Christmas extravaganza

I would really like
to talk to her.

Well, actually Viki isn't here.

- She's not?
- No.

But, uh, Simone's mother told me
all the kids were meeting here.

Well, she certainly
isn't here yet.

You don't suppose she went
to see that...woman?

Oh, of course not.

And I speak as the official
adoptee intermediary here.

I've told her she must never
ever go there. Especially alone.

Oh, yes.

I'm so glad that
you could come.

All my friends are dying
to meet you.

- Oh, dear.
- Hey, you guys.

This is my..

Mom?

Uh...everybody.

♪ Jingle bells jingle bells ♪♪

- Arvid!
- Hey, stop!

- Shut up, Arvid!
- Just a minute, you guys.

I think maybe they could use
a bit of privacy here.

Do you think you could
step into the next room?

What, what other room?

- Yeah.
- Yeah!

Well, could you step
onto the roof, please?

Uh, Billy, you want us
to step onto the roof?

Great party.
I could've done this at home.

- For real.
- You will love it.

- It's great out there.
- It's too cold out there.

I'm always out there.

There's a wonderful view,
you'll love it.

'You can see for miles, as long
as you look straight up.'

I love it. I've spent many,
many happy hours out there..

- 'But it's cold.'
- 'Brilliant!'

- You'll thank me for this.
- How long do you think..

Mom, I-I didn't, I didn't know
you were gonna be here.

- Obviously.
- Hello.

- You must be Mrs. Amory. I'm..
- Hi.

Well, I guess this is a little
weird, isn't it, mom?

(both)
Yes.

So, now you're her mother?

No. I'm sorry.
No, I didn't mean..

Billy, say something.

Well, ladies, t-this is a very,
very tense situation, I realize.

But you know, you have one
very, very important thing

in common here,
you, you both hate me.

Mrs. Amory, I'm sorry.

- Maybe I should go.
- Oh, no, no. You stay.

I am obviously the person
who shouldn't be here.

Mom, don't be like that.

Look, I love you
very, very much.

That's not gonna change.

You're my mom.
You've always been my mom.

There's nothing for you
to worry about.

You bet I'm your mom.

I'm the person who read you
"Green Eggs and Ham"

every night for the
first two years of your life.

And then there was,
um...there was colic

and runny noses,
blue bills, and brownies

camp-fire girls, girl scouts

dancing lessons
and skating lessons

piano lessons,
baton lessons

hamsters, turtles, goldfish

hamsters funerals, turtle
funerals, goldfish funerals

driving, picking up,
dropping off.

Oh! Don't get me started.

You're not gonna believe this.

But I'm really sorry
I missed all those things.

You have no idea how many times
I've regretted it.

- You have?
- Of course.

I wish it could've been me.

But I'm glad it was you.

You did a beautiful job.

Well, thanks.

I guess I had pretty good
genes to work with.

It's snowing!
Come on, everybody.

Yeah, come on.

- 'Snow.'
- 'It's snowing.'

[knocking on door]

- Bernadette!
- Merry Christmas.

- Oh, great.
- Uh..

I knew you'd be alone

so I brought you
some home-made cookies.

(Billy)
'Oh.'

Fresh, out of my easy-bake oven.

Oh, you opened it

after going on and on
about a tradition like that.

Well, I guess I, um..

I found someone
to break traditions with.

- Oh.
- 'So, um..'

Can I come in,
so, uh, you can open your gift?

You don't have a gift.

I'm wearing it.

Oh, my God!

[instrumental music]

[theme music]