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1
00:00:00,375 --> 00:00:02,835
[theme music]
2
00:00:10,301 --> 00:00:12,601
[glockenspiel music]
3
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:14,217
[humming]
4
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,474
Hey, guys,
you're gonna come see me
5
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,345
in the Thanksgiving parade
tomorrow?
6
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:19,272
Get therapy, Arvid.
7
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,022
You know, I can't wait.
8
00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:23,613
Fifty nerds in purple suits
9
00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:26,738
marching in front
of the Regis Philbin float.
10
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:29,896
Well, the music
is going to be great.
11
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:35,622
Hey, you guys gonna come
see me in the parade?
12
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:37,540
Absolutely.
13
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:38,789
- We can't wait.
- Yeah.
14
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:42,130
Great. Gives me goosebumps
just thinking about it.
15
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,457
- Me too.
- Me too.
16
00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:47,844
You know, I think
we should get there early
17
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,381
camp out and make sure we get
a good spot for tomorrow.
18
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:51,295
Right, okay.
19
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:52,932
Now I don't want
any argument about this.
20
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,969
But Jasper Kwong's parents
are on the warpath.
21
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,854
They wanna meet with you
and unfortunately
22
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,181
I can't be there tonight.
23
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,475
- He's afraid.
- No, I'm not.
24
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:02,438
- Yes, you are.
- Not!
25
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,609
Anyway, I want you
and Miss Meara
26
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,357
to meet the Kwongs. Okay?
27
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,359
Brilliant. I'd love to.
28
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,240
I love that guy.
29
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,409
You don't have any
Thanksgiving plans, Billy?
30
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:18,200
I don't even know
what Thanksgiving is.
31
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:21,004
I mean, I believe it's about
mashed potatoes and Indians
32
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:23,169
and turkeys
and some kind of football match.
33
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,748
You call that a holiday?
34
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:28,093
In Scotland now,
we have a thing called Hogmanay.
35
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,589
You wait until the clock
strikes midnight.
36
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:34,472
Then you get this big,
dark fruitcake called black bun
37
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,971
and you eat it. It's a kind of
amateur dentistry.
38
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:38,353
You eat this until
all your loose teeth
39
00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:39,719
and fillings
have been swallowed.
40
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,596
Then you get a bottle of whisky
and a piece of coal
41
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:45,234
and you go out and you greet
people you don't know
42
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:47,151
and you go into their houses
and you sing songs
43
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:50,490
about how you miss Scotland
when you're still there.
44
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,281
It's brilliant.
45
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,280
Then you tell each other
how much you love each other.
46
00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:58,032
Then you all fall out
and you batter each other blue.
47
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,996
Oh! Now that's what
I call a holiday.
48
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:06,877
♪ Oh you take the high road
and I'll take the low ♪♪
49
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:07,878
I love it!
50
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,209
- Hey.
- Goin' to the parade tonight?
51
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,304
- Yeah.
- I'd love to go, but I can't.
52
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:12,669
I've got a babysitting
job tonight.
53
00:02:12,715 --> 00:02:14,295
The agency called me
at the last minute.
54
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,222
Oh, but I can meet you guys,
say, around midnight.
55
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,511
- Alright.
- Okay, alright.
56
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,974
- Is Jasper coming?
- Oh, we forgot to ask him.
57
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:22,484
What's the point? He never wants
to do anything with us, anyway.
58
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:23,767
- For real.
- I'll ask him.
59
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,100
- Alright, see you later, Sarah.
- See you later, Sarah.
60
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,766
Um, Jasper?
61
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,074
- Oh, hi, Sarah.
- Hi.
62
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:32,027
Um, a bunch of us are camping
out to see the parade tomorrow.
63
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:34,318
If you wanna come,
I'll meet you there later?
64
00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:36,952
Oh, I'd really like to, Sarah,
but I can't.
65
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:41,080
Oh, well, okay.
I'll see you Monday then.
66
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:44,209
- Right. Happy Thanksgiving.
- Thanks.
67
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:48,835
Hey, Jasper.
68
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,377
Hey, I'm lookin' forward
to meetin' your folks tonight.
69
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,961
Uh-oh, she's at it again.
70
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,176
- I'm sorry about that, Billy.
- About what?
71
00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:58,427
Well, it's just that
my folks are
72
00:02:58,469 --> 00:02:59,799
you know, real conservative.
73
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,216
Maybe they're just concerned
about you, Jasper, huh?
74
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:05,435
Concerned? They won't let me
go out on weeknights.
75
00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:07,896
I can't date. They won't even
let me stay home alone.
76
00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:09,977
Well, have you tried
talking to them about it?
77
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,033
To my mother?
The only one who can say
78
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:13,816
anything to my mother
is my father.
79
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,200
- Oh, what does he say?
- Mostly "Yes, dear."
80
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:19,317
Oh, Lord. Sounds like
a really strong woman, huh?
81
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,985
I'll say, she's
the Chinese Margaret Thatcher.
82
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,695
Oh, dear. Don't worry about it.
83
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,995
I've got ways of talkin'
to strong women.
84
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,999
Uh, Billy, could I see you
for a minute?
85
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,881
Uh, yes, dear.
86
00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:36,419
Mom, I'm 17 years old.
87
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,046
I'm the only kid in high school
who has a babysitter.
88
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,803
Why can't I just
stay home alone?
89
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:42,845
What if you slip in the bathroom
and hit your head?
90
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:46,349
- Who will call the paramedics?
- I won't go to the bathroom.
91
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:47,732
What if you get food poisoning?
92
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,059
- I won't eat.
- What if you trip and fall?
93
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:53,234
I won't walk.
I'll just go to bed, okay?
94
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:55,444
People suffocate in bed.
95
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:58,357
I'm suffocating now.
96
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,779
- What is wrong with him?
- What?
97
00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:04,294
- He doesn't want a sitter.
- He doesn't?
98
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,447
What if he tripped and fell?
99
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,000
[doorbell rings]
100
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,583
- Mrs. Kwong?
- Yes?
101
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,496
I'm Sarah Nevins,
your babysitter.
102
00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:16,134
- Please come in.
- Thank you.
103
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,175
Here's the number
where we'll be.
104
00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:20,547
Here's emergency numbers.
105
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:23,223
His asthma medication
is on the counter.
106
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,013
There's a pizza
in the refrigerator.
107
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:27,596
- Let's go, Henry.
- Yes, dear.
108
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,530
- Oh, hi, Sarah.
- Oh, hi, Jasper.
109
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:44,830
Jasper? I'm babysitting you?
110
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:46,827
[scoffs]
What? Me?
111
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,409
No, no, no, of course not.
112
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,328
Me?
113
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:53,964
No, no, uh,
you're here to, uh..
114
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,842
...sit for my baby brother.
115
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,589
Oh. I'm sorry, Jasper.
116
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,091
For a minute there,
I thought I was here--
117
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,803
Hey, that would be ridiculous,
wouldn't it?
118
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:05,934
Imagine me
needing a babysitter!
119
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,852
- So where is he?
- Who?
120
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:12,231
- Your little brother.
- Oh, he's asleep in his room.
121
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,230
Oh, what's his name?
122
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,732
Arsineo.
123
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:22,067
- Arsineo Kwong?
- It's his nickname.
124
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:24,453
We call him that, because
when he gets gas, he goes
125
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:27,160
"Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!"
126
00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:29,451
Oh, that's cute.
I'll go look in on him.
127
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:30,655
No, wait!
128
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:33,325
- He's allergic!
- To what?
129
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:36,044
- Blue jeans.
- Blue jeans?
130
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:37,455
Jasper, I've never heard
of anyone
131
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:38,803
being allergic
to blue jeans.
132
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,918
Oh, it's very common
in China.
133
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:43,465
Particularly
in the northern provinces.
134
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,469
It's called payfumangam.
135
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:48,564
- What?
- Denimites.
136
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,768
Well, Jasper,
if you say so.
137
00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:52,058
Well, don't let me keep you.
138
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,731
- From what?
- From going out.
139
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,270
Or else you'd be taking care
of your little brother.
140
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,694
[chuckles]
Right, right.
141
00:05:57,732 --> 00:06:01,572
Uh, I've got to go to, uh,
the Thanksgiving parade.
142
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,821
Well, Jasper, when I asked you
to the Thanksgiving parade
143
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,664
this afternoon,
you said you couldn't go.
144
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,580
That's true. I did.
145
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,705
But that was a different
Thanksgiving parade.
146
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:16,207
This is the Chinese
Thanksgiving parade.
147
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,540
I didn't know there was
a Chinese Thanksgiving.
148
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,916
Oh, sure.
It's like your Thanksgiving.
149
00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:23,933
Only instead of turkeys,
we have dragons.
150
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:25,640
Really?
151
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:26,716
Well, if you say so.
152
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,721
Um, little Arsineo and I
will get along just fine.
153
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,024
- Are you sure?
- Mm-hm.
154
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,637
You run along, Jasper.
I insist.
155
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,524
- Bye.
- Bye.
156
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,359
[knock on door]
157
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,031
[chuckles]
158
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,449
You wanna hear
the funniest thing?
159
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,607
Tonight isn't
Chinese Thanksgiving.
160
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,946
Chinese Thanksgiving is in May.
161
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,414
Oh.
162
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:54,582
Well, I guess your parents
won't be needing me.
163
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,253
Uh, no, wait.
164
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:59,750
Oh, well, Jasper, I don't wanna
waste your parents' money.
165
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:02,174
Oh, no, no, it's not that.
166
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:06,092
- I want you to stay.
- Oh?
167
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:08,468
Okay.
168
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:15,524
Mr. MacGregor, I'd like you
to meet Mr. and Mrs. Kwong.
169
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,980
[softly]
Best behavior.
170
00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:19,269
Oh, of course. How'd you do?
171
00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:21,023
Thank you for seeing us,
Mr. MacGregor.
172
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:23,685
- Oh, Billy. Call me Billy.
- May I use your chalkboard?
173
00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,454
- Oh, by all means.
- Ah, thank you.
174
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:29,697
Uh, Mrs. Kwong,
how can we help you? Please.
175
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,740
We're concerned about Jasper.
176
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,874
Oh, Jasper is a remarkable boy,
Mrs. Kwong.
177
00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:36,082
He speaks of you often.
178
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:39,002
That's why we wanted to talk
to you quite openly
179
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:40,331
if that is agreeable with you?
180
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,086
- Of course.
- Good.
181
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,668
Then let me ask you,
what the hell are you doing?
182
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:47,724
Pardon?
183
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:50,178
Since you've been
teaching our Jasper
184
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:52,509
he has become
a very unhappy boy.
185
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:55,635
He mopes around the apartment,
not smiling.
186
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,393
Not at all the same boy
as before.
187
00:07:57,435 --> 00:08:00,555
Mrs. Kwong, let me assure you,
Billy is an excellent teacher
188
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,565
as well as a warm
and caring person--
189
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,437
Bernadette, please.
190
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,574
You sound like one of those
people who's just discovered
191
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,451
that their neighbor
has a whole boy scout troop
192
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,778
buried under the basement floor.
193
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:13,582
"Oh, he was an awful nice man.
Kept himself to himself.
194
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,368
"Always said hi when
you saw him on the street.
195
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:17,621
And never once did I see him
kick his mother."
196
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:21,003
Mrs. Kwong, I don't know about
Jasper's personality change.
197
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,632
But I can assure you,
it wasn't because of anything
198
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,299
that happened here
in the school.
199
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,048
Then how do you explain it?
200
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:28,669
Well, maybe it's just a little
201
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,466
teenage phase
he's going through.
202
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,640
Kids his age often need
a bit more freedom.
203
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:33,928
And maybe you keep him
204
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,641
in a bit of a tight leash
at home, huh?
205
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:39,062
No, he-he doesn't mean
it necessarily has anything
206
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:40,271
to do with you, Mrs. Kwong--
207
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,061
Oh, yes, I do.
208
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,650
Tonight, for instance,
Mrs. Kwong
209
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:47,030
while you're here,
where's Jasper?
210
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:49,108
He is at home
with a babysitter.
211
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:52,453
I never realized
squids made love that way.
212
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:55,987
Wow.
213
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:58,833
Wow.
214
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,747
- Wow.
- Wow.
215
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,459
- Ooh. Yuck.
- Oh, yuck!
216
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:06,883
Are you sure
you wanna watch this?
217
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,171
No, no, no, turn it off.
218
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,974
Oh, that was the most disgusting
thing I've ever seen in my life.
219
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:13,549
Yeah.
220
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,845
- Wow.
- Wow.
221
00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:25,114
[laughing]
222
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:27,443
Oh, I love Hong Kong.
223
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:30,533
And the food is unbelievable,
isn't it?
224
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,530
I saw a fishmonger one day.
225
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,202
He was filleting a fish.
226
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,280
There was a woman customer
standing there.
227
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,905
He cut one side.
The fish was alive.
228
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:42,043
He cut the side off and he put
up, cut the other side
229
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,831
cut the spine off,
threw it in the bucket
230
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,174
put the head
between the two sides
231
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:47,880
and the heart was still beating.
232
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,170
The fish was looking like that.
233
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:52,263
It had just experienced
the ultimate weight loss.
234
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,760
And the woman customer
was speaking in Chinese
235
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,472
I don't know what she was
saying, I think she said
236
00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:58,142
to the guy, "Is that fresh?"
237
00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,310
[chuckles]
238
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:01,978
He said, "Madam, any fresher,
you can use my snorkel
239
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,898
and get in the bucket
beside the other two."
240
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,267
[chuckles]
But my..
241
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,975
My absolute favorite
kung pao joint
242
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,276
is just off Temple Street.
243
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:14,029
I can never remember
the name of it though.
244
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:16,161
- Yung Sum Cafe?
- That's the one.
245
00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:17,488
Our favorite.
246
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:20,623
I like him.
Let's go home now.
247
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,911
Maybe we are being
overprotective.
248
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,995
But the customs here
are so different.
249
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,041
Of course.
250
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,173
Billy is a very wise man,
don't you think?
251
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,840
- Well, yes, I suppose he is.
- You like him, yes?
252
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,420
- Well.
- Don't fool with me.
253
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,505
I've seen those looks
between you two.
254
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,840
The eyes do not lie.
255
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,755
Excuse me, Mrs. Kwong,
but I think we were dis--
256
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:41,393
You should marry this man
before some other woman
257
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:42,892
sees his wonderfulness.
258
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:43,853
Marry him?
259
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,443
You would have
impressive children.
260
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,148
- Wise and beautiful.
- You know, I don't think that--
261
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:50,729
Oh, Mrs. Kwong,
that's a smashin' idea.
262
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,565
You know, I'm, I'm so pleased
that we've all agreed
263
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:56,071
on Jasper's academic progress
and, um..
264
00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:58,493
I've got a flight
to catch. Thank God.
265
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:01,792
Uh, Happy Thanksgiving,
everyone.
266
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:06,922
- She likes you.
- Oh, she's crazy about me.
267
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:09,417
- She just doesn't know it yet.
- Don't worry.
268
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:12,670
I'll fix everything between
you and your beautiful lady.
269
00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:15,093
- Do I have a choice?
- No.
270
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,260
- Henry.
- Yes, dear.
271
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:25,177
Wow, I can't believe
I'm actually doing this.
272
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:27,096
I mean, just a few weeks ago
273
00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:29,564
I was practicing
on a teddy bear.
274
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,654
It shows.
275
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,112
So what do you wanna do now?
276
00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:37,743
What's wrong
with what we're doing?
277
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:42,120
Well, Jasper,
are we like going together?
278
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:43,369
Yeah, I guess we are.
279
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:47,621
Well, Jasper, we have
a four-day weekend coming up.
280
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,705
Don't you think we should do
something together?
281
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:50,880
Hey, that'll be great.
282
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,668
Well, why don't we go
to the movies together?
283
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,053
Friday night.
284
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,715
I can't.
285
00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,218
Well, Jasper,
what's wrong with you?
286
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,300
- Why won't you go out?
- I just can't, Sarah.
287
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:05,216
Well, I used to think
it was because you were shy.
288
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,096
But not after tonight.
289
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,733
Jasper, what's your problem?
290
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:11,269
I just don't wanna
talk about it, Sarah.
291
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:15,775
Oh. Uh, hi, mom. Hi, dad.
292
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,278
And how was our little boy?
293
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:20,699
Oh, he was an angel.
He didn't cry at all.
294
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,120
I didn't get a chance
to change him though.
295
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,079
He may be wet.
296
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,869
You did a terrific job.
Thanks a lot.
297
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:33,536
- Bye, Jasper.
- Bye.
298
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:40,511
Jasper, we had a nice talk
with your Mr. MacGregor.
299
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:41,681
And he says you're right.
300
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,849
You don't need
a babysitter anymore.
301
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,888
Perhaps it is time now
to give you
302
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:48,141
more responsibility and freedom.
303
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,774
Hey, that's great.
Thanks a lot.
304
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:52,650
So on Friday night,
can I go out on a date?
305
00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:54,518
Forget it.
306
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:04,532
- Uh, Sarah, can we talk?
- About what?
307
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:05,905
Well, I was just thinkin' that
308
00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:08,621
you know, maybe you can come
over to my place again sometime.
309
00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:11,462
Well, Jasper, the other night
was really nice.
310
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,919
But I want more out of a
relationship than just that.
311
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,539
And if you don't wanna
take me anywhere
312
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,416
then we don't have much
of a future together.
313
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,383
Oh, no, Sarah. It's not that..
314
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,383
[indistinct chatter]
315
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,011
I mean, poor Viki.
316
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,893
Can you imagine
how she must have felt?
317
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,850
Uh, dropping her baton
like that
318
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,060
in front of the reviewing stand.
319
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,350
She didn't drop her baton.
320
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:33,523
She beaned Santa Claus with it.
321
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:36,272
Knocked his beard off
and everything.
322
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,185
Well, I, for one,
will never forgive her.
323
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,864
She-she completely ruined
my glockenspiel solo
324
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,163
on "Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da."
325
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:47,242
Great job at the parade, Viki.
326
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:48,414
[cheering]
327
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:51,252
I've never been so humiliated
in all my life.
328
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:53,618
Oh, come on, Viki.
It wasn't that bad, really.
329
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,086
[scoffs]
Yeah, right.
I almost killed Santa Claus.
330
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:58,706
Ah, who cares? Serves him right.
331
00:13:58,754 --> 00:13:59,844
- What?
- What?
332
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,470
Last year, I asked him
for a pocket Nintendo.
333
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,178
He brought me a year's supply
of SLIMQUICK.
334
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,715
Dennis. Uh, Viki, don't worry.
335
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:11,064
We only noticed it
because we were right there.
336
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,440
- I-I'm sure no one else did.
- 'Exactly.'
337
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:15,017
[bell rings]
338
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:18,566
Good morning, geniuses.
339
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,397
[indistinct chatter]
340
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:23,362
So how was Thanksgiving?
Brilliant or what?
341
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:24,454
[indistinct chatter]
342
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:26,318
Hey, Billy,
how was your Thanksgiving?
343
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:29,445
Well, it wasn't Hogmanay,
but it did have its highlights.
344
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,623
Hey, I'll tell you.
I was watching the telly
345
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:34,332
watching that big parade,
the big Thanksgiving Day Parade
346
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:37,543
and two guys in turkey suits
bundled Santa Claus
347
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,415
into an ambulance.
348
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,381
Is that a custom here?
349
00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:43,593
Oh, oh, yeah.
350
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:47,142
In the Easter Parade,
Viki's gonna maim the bunny.
351
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,596
[bell rings]
Okay, that's it.
352
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,640
Tomorrow
the first Continental Congress.
353
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:57,895
Swamp Thing
and the Demise Of Fondue.
354
00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,568
- Get out of here.
- See you, Billy.
355
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,738
- Bye, Billy.
- See ya.
356
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,106
Bye.
357
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:07,033
- Uh, got a minute, Billy?
- Sure. What's up?
358
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,412
Thanks for talking
to my parents.
359
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,329
Ah, no problem.
They're very nice people.
360
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:12,487
I can only hope
it helped in some way.
361
00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:13,576
Well, sort of.
362
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:16,081
I mean, I don't have to have
a babysitter anymore.
363
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,963
And I wanna see Sarah,
but I can't go out
364
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,290
with Sarah because I can't date.
365
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:22,245
So the only way I can see Sarah
is if she's my babysitter.
366
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:26,336
[sighs]
You've got yourself
a conundrum there, boy.
367
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:29,513
At this rate, I'm never gonna
need a conundrum.
368
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:35,432
Jasper, your parents
are just the nicest people.
369
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,806
You know what they have done?
370
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:39,652
Mrs. Kwong has invited us out
for dinner Friday night.
371
00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:40,768
- Hey.
- Really?
372
00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:42,824
- Yeah.
- Excuse me.
373
00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:46,528
Well, isn't that lovely?
Talk about old world charm.
374
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,030
Oh, come on, Billy.
375
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,952
They're obviously
trying to fix us up.
376
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,661
Oh, come on.
377
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,911
What on earth
are you talkin' about?
378
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:58,044
They're merely thankin' us
for paying attention
379
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,792
to their son's education.
380
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:02,173
Oh, I suppose you're right.
381
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,051
- But hey, hey, hey.
- Hm.
382
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:06,628
If you like, after dinner,
we can ditch the Kwongs
383
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:10,054
and do something that violates
community standards.
384
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,804
What do you say?
385
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:19,517
Ah, yes. This is Mr. Kwong.
386
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:24,361
I want to order a babysitter
for Friday night.
387
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:28,200
I would like
that Sarah Nevins girl again.
388
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:31,447
My little boy just loved her.
389
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,658
Thank you. Oh, thank you.
390
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,461
[laughter]
391
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,841
We would be honored if you would
allow us to order for you.
392
00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:48,469
Oh, that would be scrumptious.
393
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,927
[softly]
I hate sushi.
Raw fish is disgusting.
394
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,639
- Shh.
- We'll start with uni.
395
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:57,805
Oh, now that sounds delicious.
396
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,390
You know I've, I've never
had uni before.
397
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,306
I'm looking forward
to tasting it--
398
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,024
It's absolutely wonderful.
399
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,774
Raw sea urchin. You'll love it.
400
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,686
[laughs]
401
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,069
You're joking, aren't you?
402
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:12,493
- It's a delicacy.
- Oh.
403
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,911
Considered by some
to be an aphrodisiac.
404
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,120
Yeah? Order another dozen now .
405
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,868
- I'd like to make a toast.
- Okay.
406
00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:24,075
To the lovely couple.
407
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,416
May they be happy and fruitful.
408
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:30,092
And may all their children be
born in the year of the rat.
409
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,132
- Yes.
- Cheers.
410
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:37,430
- We go now.
- Wait, wait a second.
411
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:38,853
Y-you're kidding, aren't you?
412
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,601
- Well, what about dinner?
- You have dinner with Billy.
413
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:44,693
Oh, please enjoy. We have
taken care of everything.
414
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,940
And your check does not exist.
415
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,232
[laughing]
416
00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,145
But I-I-I..
417
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,823
We wish this night
to be yours.
418
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,782
Let fate take its course.
419
00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:55,952
- Come on, Henry.
- Yes, dear.
420
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,704
I swear I had nothing
to do with this.
421
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,874
- Oh, right.
- Oh, come on. Don't sulk.
422
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,873
Sushi, sake and sulky
don't go very well together.
423
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,376
You know that thing.
424
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,457
I mean, do you really think
I'd go to all this bother
425
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,253
just for the chance
to have dinner with you?
426
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:11,126
I would not stoop that low.
427
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:14,013
Mind you, I can hardly
stoop any lower than we are..
428
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,011
[laughs]
429
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:17,392
- There you go.
- I know what you mean.
430
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:20,849
You know, I-I know that
the Kwongs really do mean well.
431
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,851
But it's just..
432
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,558
[sighs]
433
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:26,904
So how was your Thanksgiving,
anyway?
434
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,439
- Did you see your family?
- Yes, I did.
435
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,653
Hm. I hate family gatherings.
436
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,783
I do. I really hate
family gatherings.
437
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,031
We have a saying in Scotland.
438
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,822
You can choose your friends,
but you're stuck
439
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:38,655
with your relations.
440
00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:46,377
Jasper, maybe we should
take a little break.
441
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:50,666
Good idea. I think I've worn
the outer layer off my lips.
442
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:52,922
I'll go freshen up.
443
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,175
Oh, Jasper, I'll just take
a quick look at the baby.
444
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,508
No, wait.
445
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:00,888
[Sarah screams]
446
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,431
Jasper, Jasper,
the baby's gone.
447
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,845
No, he's hiding.
He likes to hide.
448
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:08,193
- Even the crib is gone.
- He hides the crib too.
449
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:15,704
Jasper, you don't have
a little brother, do you?
450
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,071
I'm sorry, Sarah.
451
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,826
I made it all up.
452
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:25,328
When my parents called you
to babysit, it was for me.
453
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:28,212
They don't think I'm old enough
to stay home alone.
454
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,960
It's so humiliating and stupid.
455
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:34,125
Well, Jasper,
it's no more humiliating
456
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,683
than my father cutting my meat
till I was 14.
457
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:40,597
- Yes, it is.
- Well, that's true.
458
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:43,017
Jasper, parents will be parents.
459
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:44,266
That's true.
460
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:46,058
Jasper, you know
461
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:47,641
if you're gonna be my boyfriend
462
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,646
from now on,
we're gonna have to start
463
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,518
telling each other stuff, okay?
464
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:53,855
Even embarrassing stuff.
465
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,111
Boyfriend?
466
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,992
- That's right.
- Wow.
467
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,794
Mr. MacGregor was right.
468
00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:07,408
He's too old for a babysitter.
469
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,495
Does your mother have a sister
470
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,593
who wears dresses
like an explosion
471
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:16,919
in a florist's shop
and smells really weird?
472
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,755
I have an aunt,
who when you're not lookin'
473
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,350
she makes her false teeth do
a somersault inside her mouth.
474
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,807
[laughs]
475
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,478
Trashes all the relatives
and then when they arrive
476
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:29,017
she slobbers all over them.
477
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,811
Oh, that sounds
just like my Aunt Helen.
478
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,324
But she marinates her flower
dresses in a perfume
479
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:36,277
that makes your eyes water
clear across the room.
480
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:38,898
And then she goes around
doing this, tsk, tsk, tsk--
481
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,026
- Exactly.
- No, but then she says..
482
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,283
"Tsk, tsk, tsk,
poor little Bernadette
483
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,905
still hasn't caught herself
a husband."
484
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,623
Oh, the woman's a beast.
485
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,463
I hate that.
486
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,288
So this Thanksgiving,
you know, I just..
487
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,884
I finally had enough
of Aunt Helen.
488
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,920
So I told her
I met a wonderful man.
489
00:20:56,964 --> 00:21:01,684
Who was intelligent, exciting
and witty and charming.
490
00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:04,258
- Mm, you lied, huh?
- Yeah.
491
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,934
I'm the same, I was so lonely
492
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,144
and frustrated
over Thanksgiving
493
00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:11,484
I phoned my family in Scotland
494
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,110
and I told
my Aunty Jessie
495
00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:15,686
exactly what you told
your Aunt Helen.
496
00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:18,282
That you'd met a charming
and exciting man?
497
00:21:18,318 --> 00:21:23,778
Mm. Didn't have to kick start
her pacemaker, I'll tell you.
498
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,744
No, but really, I told her
I'd met a rather beautiful woman
499
00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:29,325
who is kind of bright
and was very keen on me
500
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,331
and vice-versa, you know.
501
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:33,883
- Oh, you lied too then?
- Mm.
502
00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:36,547
Yeah, we're pretty
dreadful people, aren't we?
503
00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:39,206
Yeah, I'd say
we're terrible. Mm-hm.
504
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,930
Oh.
505
00:21:45,053 --> 00:21:47,103
Ooh, look.
506
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,599
Oh, my. Thank you.
507
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,310
- That's the uni.
- Oh.
508
00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:53,901
Are you sure
that this is an aphrodisiac?
509
00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:57,317
No, no, superstitious ballyhoo.
510
00:21:57,357 --> 00:21:59,647
What do you say
we scoff these right away
511
00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:03,863
order another dozen and put this
aphrodisiac nonsense to bed?
512
00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:06,405
Uh, t-to rest, okay?
513
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,200
- Go ahead.
- Cheers.
514
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:11,996
- Is it okay?
- Oh, brilliant.
515
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:13,209
[chuckles]
516
00:22:13,248 --> 00:22:15,458
- Try it then.
- Okay.
517
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:21,795
Not bad.
518
00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:26,554
[theme music]
38489
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