Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,583 --> 00:00:03,213
[theme music]
2
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:11,093
I love Halloween.
You get free candy
3
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:14,926
and you get to humiliate
your friends and it's legal.
4
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,643
You know,
that's great, Dennis.
5
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,693
Listen, you want, you wanna
walk home from school together?
6
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:19,937
- Sure.
- Okay.
7
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,308
Hey, wait a minute, Arvid.
8
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:24,984
Is that Zach Butler guy shaking
you down for money again?
9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:26,185
Well, um, yeah.
10
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:27,944
Arvid, he's no bigger than you.
11
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,946
I-I know, but there's just,
there's somethin' about him
12
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,108
that scares me.
13
00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,486
Arv, you can't be afraid.
14
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:35,452
You gotta stand up to him.
You gotta show him who's boss.
15
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,333
Punch him right in the nose
if you have to.
16
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,250
You gotta have some
respect for yourself.
17
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,039
[sighs]
You're right.
Why can't I do that?
18
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:43,172
I'm-I'm such a wimp. A weenie.
19
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,879
- I-I feel like dirt.
- That's better.
20
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,920
I'll see you later, buddy.
21
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:49,054
Wait, wait, where are you going?
22
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:50,430
Arvid, this is
for your own good.
23
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,587
You gotta stand up
to Zach Butler by yourself.
24
00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:54,175
I gotta go pick up
my Halloween costume.
25
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,310
You'll be fine, don't worry.
26
00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:57,967
[Arvid sighs]
27
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,228
[grunts]
28
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:05,771
- Hey, Arvid.
- Zach.
29
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:08,935
You, uh, didn't show up
at lunch today.
30
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:12,235
Uh, I'm on this new
slim quick diet, yeah.
31
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,527
You got my dollar?
32
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,865
[scoffs]
Just a second.
33
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:21,541
You expect me
to give you a dollar?
34
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,250
- That's right.
- Okay.
35
00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:28,299
Uh, oh, here.
36
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,628
You know what, make it two.
37
00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,008
[scoffs]
Zach, you realize
that this is just
38
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:36,932
a, a-a plaintive cry for help.
39
00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:39,101
Okay, make that
a, a plaintive cry for money.
40
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:41,810
[laughs]
You-you should really
see Nurse Sweeney
41
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,271
'cause she-she's
very understanding.
42
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:44,981
Uh, not only that,
she actually brings home
43
00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:47,111
a much bigger paycheck
than I do.
44
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,403
Can the jokes, Arvid.
45
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:51,993
You're right, you're right, I..
46
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:53,358
Most people,
when they, they get nervous
47
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:56,624
uh, their knees shake.
I, I get witty.
48
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:59,238
[chuckles]
But, uh..
49
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,995
...o-o-other bullies
have complained, uh..
50
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:07,041
- Here.
- That's better.
51
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:11,085
In fact, let's make it two bucks
every day from now on, alright?
52
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,171
See you tomorrow, Arvid.
53
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,637
Arvid, quick, give me a quarter.
54
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,230
Give us a quarter, man.
I've been mugged.
55
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,387
I have to phone the police.
56
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,146
I don't believe it.
57
00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:27,267
Less than half a block
58
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:28,823
from the bloody school.
59
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:32,607
Two huge guys rush in, pushed me
off my bike. Here we are.
60
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:33,742
[rattling]
61
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:37,408
Put a gun against my face
right up my bloody nose.
62
00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:41,368
I don't believe it.
I've put a shilling in the box.
63
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,251
My whole life went
in the slow motion.
64
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,668
I could feel my IQ
draining out of my brain
65
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,877
runnin' down my spine
and filling my bladder.
66
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:55,683
I couldn't grasp the concept
of "Lie down and shut up!
67
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:57,547
I'll blow
your freaking brains out!"
68
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,804
Oh, no.
Hello, no, so, I'm sorry.
69
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,846
No, no, officer, I..
70
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,810
Hello? Hello?
71
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,899
[instrumental music]
72
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,703
Billy, I heard about
what happened yesterday.
73
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,817
- Are you okay?
- Oh, I'm okay.
74
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:21,284
Oh, very nice.
75
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,746
Oh, I should be mugged
more often.
76
00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:26,036
- This is lovely.
- No, no, no. Don't joke.
77
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,250
You could've been hurt.
78
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,420
Oh, you're right.
It was quite an experience.
79
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,880
I know.
You know, it's crazy out there.
80
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,210
I think it's getting worse.
That's why we're having
81
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,295
the Halloween carnival here
tomorrow night.
82
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,261
Wanna keep the kids off
the street and out of trouble.
83
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,972
- What a brilliant idea.
- Yeah.
84
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,352
It really is dangerous
out there.
85
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,598
Nobody can take
unnecessary chances.
86
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:48,441
- Billy, are you okay?
- Sure. Why?
87
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,438
Well, it's just that
I think, you know
88
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,570
getting mugged is a pretty
traumatic experience.
89
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,568
Oh, I'm fine. I was brought up
90
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,530
in the worst slums of Glasgow,
you know.
91
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,700
We used to eat brass knuckles
for breakfast.
92
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:02,279
Yeah, and floss our teeth
with barbed wire.
93
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:05,495
Take more than this to upset me,
I assure you.
94
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:07,786
Yes, so where's your bicycle
this morning?
95
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,420
Oh, I took a cab.
96
00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:11,457
Oh, yeah.
You think I'm afraid?
97
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,461
- Well, I am not afraid.
- I just thought that--
98
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:18,724
You don't need to baby me
or smother me with attent..
99
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,178
- What am I saying?
- Mm.
100
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:23,138
I'm afraid, I'm so afraid.
Oh, hold me, hold me.
101
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,469
Would you get out of here?
102
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,934
Get out.
Get your bag and get out.
103
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,135
I'm going.
104
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,734
Alright, just be sure
to come back later.
105
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,863
He's so cute! Oh!
106
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,321
- Jasper, you know karate.
- Yes, Arv.
107
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,400
How long would it take you
to teach me a few moves?
108
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:41,485
Arvid, karate is more
than just a few moves.
109
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,701
It's a philosophy,
an-an art form.
110
00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:46,491
It takes years of study
to become effective.
111
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:49,206
In that case,
could you lend me $2?
112
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,497
Here comes Dennis.
Get out the bait.
113
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,961
(Darlene)
Oh, go, T.J. Go, go go, ahem.
114
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,667
Listen to this, you guys.
115
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,803
"Wildman of Attica escapes.
116
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:03,300
Eli Carver escaped from
Attica Prison Friday morning."
117
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,684
- Oh.
- So what?
118
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,521
So what? So read on.
Down here.
119
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:10,097
"Carver's life of crime
began in 1967
120
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,773
'"when a teacher
at Fillmore High School'
121
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,652
"in New York City
reprimanded Carver
122
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,570
"for wearing his hair too long.
123
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:19,858
Carver killed the teacher
with a meat cleaver."
124
00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,362
- 'Oh!'
- 'Meat cleaver!'
125
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,364
"Following his convictions,
Carver vowed
126
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,486
"never to cut his hair
or beard again.
127
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,333
"His shaggy appearance
and terrible temper
128
00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:30,828
earned him the prison nickname
Wildman."
129
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,622
- Wildman.
- Wildman.
130
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,875
Okay, you guys, I got the file
on Eli Carver. Check it out.
131
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:37,498
Hey, hey, hey,
what's all this about, guys?
132
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:39,125
- Shh.
- Hey, Dennis, do you mind?
133
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,422
- What's it say, T.J.?
- 'Alright.'
134
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,005
It says that Eli Carver
got straight Fs
135
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,891
except for an A in Home Ec.
136
00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,007
- 'Home Ec?'
- Mm-hmm.
137
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,974
A serial killer took Home Ec?
138
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,814
Mm-hmm,
he wanted to be a butcher.
139
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,309
- 'A butcher?'
- 'A butcher.'
140
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:54,101
Ooh, guess what day
Eli went bananas at Fillmore?
141
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,515
- What day?
- When? When? When?
142
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:59,283
October 31, 1967.
143
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:02,567
- Halloween.
- Mm-hmm.
144
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:05,992
You don't suppose
he'd come back here, do you?
145
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,282
No.
146
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,325
[bell rings]
147
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,579
Morning, everybody.
148
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,250
- Oh, good morning, Billy.
- Good morning, Billy.
149
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:15,248
Oh, Billy, I'm so sorry
you got mugged yesterday.
150
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,171
- Thank you, Simone.
- Oh, yeah, Billy.
151
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,130
I hope it hasn't given you
a distorted picture of America.
152
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:22,051
Thank you very much, Sarah,
but actually
153
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,970
it gave me a very accurate
picture of America.
154
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:27,928
I mean, you people are just
crazy about guns, aren't you?
155
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,890
I'm cyclin' home from work
the other day
156
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:33,431
mindin' my own business,
two men with guns jump on me.
157
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,976
We phone the police,
two men with guns arrive.
158
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:39,570
They take me home, I switch
on the TV trying to relax
159
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:42,737
and there's a cartoon coyote
runnin' about with a huge gun
160
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,147
tryin' to shoot a wee bird
in a desert.
161
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,736
So I change the station
162
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:49,661
and there's that lovely wee
actress Angela Lansbury, right?
163
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:52,160
I think, oh, maybe
it's a nice wee British play
164
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,413
about Lady Caroline Lamb.
165
00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:55,504
"More tea, Mrs. Smith Jennings?"
166
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:59,130
No chance, up jumps
Annette Funicello with a gun.
167
00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:01,838
Said, "I shot the butler.
168
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,339
Yes, it was me."
169
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:06,131
What kind of society is this?
170
00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:07,465
N-now, wait just a minute.
171
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,970
Guns are a proud part
of American heritage.
172
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,932
Guns are what keep America free.
173
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:12,853
From whom?
174
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:14,640
- Yeah.
- From whom, Alan?
175
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,484
Well, the Russians.
176
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,770
I mean, the Russians
back when they were our enemy.
177
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,234
Not that they're exactly
our friends now
178
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,734
but you-you know what I mean,
back when they were..
179
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,696
When they were really our enemy.
180
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:27,446
Okay, okay, forget the Russians.
181
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:30,738
Iraq. They're our enemy.
What about them?
182
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:33,493
But isn't that
what your armed forces are for?
183
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,116
I mean, are you
seriously telling me
184
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:38,424
that nations
like Iraq and Russia
185
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,668
who have tanks
and supersonic jets
186
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,500
are frightened off by a few
Americans with hunting rifles
187
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:47,376
standing in the rain going
quack, quack, quack, quack?
188
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:48,925
Look, say..
189
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,968
Look, say what you want, Billy,
but the Second Amendment
190
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,512
to the Constitution says,
"The right of the people
191
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,556
to keep and bear arms
shall not be infringed."
192
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,930
- That's true.
- Hear, hear.
193
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,646
But surely, they were
talking about muskets.
194
00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:01,857
I mean,
why stop at firearms at all?
195
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:05,528
The right to keep and bear
nuclear weapons, huh?
196
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:08,238
Yeah, let's go hunting deer
this weekend
197
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:12,699
and perhaps we can blow away
Montana at the same time.
198
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,582
Uh, excuse me, Billy,
is this a class or are you
199
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,829
having a nervous breakdown
'cause I can never quite tell
200
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:18,371
with you, alright?
201
00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:21,134
I'm fine, Dennis. I'm fine.
202
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,957
Okay, just, it doesn't have
203
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,462
control your mind
when someone presses
204
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,335
a loaded weapon to your temple.
205
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:29,881
Now look, this may come
as a bit of a surprise to you
206
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,136
but in the civilized countries
of the world
207
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,678
people do not carry weapons.
208
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:35,011
In London, for instance.
209
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,596
People carry
rolled-up umbrellas.
210
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:38,811
The worst thing that can happen
to you, maybe goes..
211
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,851
[blows raspberry]
You know?
212
00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:43,984
But enough of this,
back to work.
213
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,573
Where did we leave off
yesterday?
214
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,068
The assassination
of Abraham Lincoln.
215
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,439
- 'Yeah.'
- What can I say?
216
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:51,026
The assassination
of Abraham Lincoln.
217
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:55,082
Do you know you've lost
a tenth of your presidents
218
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:57,787
through assassination
with firearms?
219
00:08:57,828 --> 00:09:00,328
That's unbelievable.
Great, a new assignment.
220
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:03,633
By next Friday,
I would like ten pages
221
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:06,208
on the proliferation
of weapons in America
222
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:09,804
since the assassination
of Abraham Lincoln in 1865
223
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,130
to my mugging yesterday.
224
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,651
Yo, Eric, my man.
225
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:27,068
What do you say you and I, uh,
hang out after school, huh?
226
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,148
Hey, Arvid,
I'm kind of busy right now.
227
00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:33,824
Oh, hey, no problemo.
Uh, bring the chick.
228
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:37,121
Thanks anyway, Arv.
229
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:41,463
Hey, Arvid, Alan and I
are gonna go do some research
230
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:43,577
for our history assignment.
Would you like to come with us?
231
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,504
Uh, yes, yes, thanks, yes.
232
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,593
- Uh, where are we going?
- A gun store.
233
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,418
We're gonna get
firsthand information
234
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,093
on how guns are bought and sold.
235
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,632
Oh, I don't know, guys.
I'm kind of nervous around guns.
236
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,216
I mean, when I was six
and all the other boys
237
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,801
were asking their parents
for squirt guns
238
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,306
I was begging mine
for a squirt-proof vest.
239
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,728
[laughs]
240
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:04,524
But away with childhood fears,
let's go.
241
00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:10,565
[instrumental music]
242
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,960
[screams]
243
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:33,224
You, guys, you please,
don't embarrass me.
244
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:38,103
Uh, please, don't mind him.
245
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,637
Uh, hi, Ed, I'm Al.
246
00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:42,891
Hi, Al, I'm Jim.
247
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:45,733
Ed died in a hunting accident.
248
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:47,190
You know, I can't sell
you kids any guns
249
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:49,519
unless you're over 18
and have a permit.
250
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,275
We're not here
to buy any guns, sir.
251
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,027
We just wanted
to ask you a few questions.
252
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,279
- Viki--
- Don't worry.
253
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,280
I'm not going to embarrass you.
254
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,783
How do you justify
selling instruments
255
00:10:58,824 --> 00:10:59,834
of torture and death?
256
00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:02,367
Well, thank you
for not embarrassing me.
257
00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,251
I sell guns
to law-abiding Americans
258
00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:05,828
for sport
and personal protection.
259
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,753
Oh, oh, we're not saying there's
anything wrong with hunting.
260
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:11,002
I am. It's unfair to animals.
261
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,295
And you call it a sport?
262
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,708
Viki, whether you like it or not
263
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:17,466
Americans, God bless them,
have the right to bear arms.
264
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,180
Yeah, well, I think
that we ought to arm bears.
265
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,891
Then it would be a sport.
266
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,311
I could show you a pretty
little pearl-handled pistol
267
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,190
that'd change your mind
about guns.
268
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,977
Another gun that somebody
can steal from me
269
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,270
so they can sell it
to somebody else
270
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,113
and that somebody
can get killed with it.
271
00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:33,108
Oh, yes, unfortunately,
that does happen.
272
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:35,650
Is that how illegal handguns
wind up on the street?
273
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,565
That's right.
A lot of them are stolen
274
00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:39,073
from law-abiding Americans.
275
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,275
Or else they're purchased
in another state or county
276
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:43,905
where the laws are less strict
and then brought into the city.
277
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:47,373
[scoffs]
Wow, it sounds like it's easier
to buy a gun illegally
278
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:48,955
than it is to do this report.
279
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:49,829
Yeah.
280
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,035
Hey, buying an illegal gun
281
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:53,745
now that would make
a dramatic statement.
282
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,336
Yeah, Arvid with a gun.
283
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:56,801
We're talking about a guy
who has trouble
284
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:59,011
loading his mechanical pencil.
285
00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:02,097
What kind of forms
do you need to get a permit?
286
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,638
Well, you have to go
to the police station
287
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:04,931
for an actual permit.
288
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,354
But I have some copies
in the back I could show you.
289
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,813
- Come on.
- Be right back, Arvid.
290
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:21,156
Hey, kid, you're, uh, interested
in buying a gun, huh?
291
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:23,198
Oh, no, I-I was just thinking.
292
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,242
Well, I got one for sale.
293
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:27,873
- Fifty bucks.
- Yeah?
294
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,083
.38 caliber, hair trigger.
295
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,634
Practically shoots itself.
296
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,207
[clicks tongue]
297
00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:37,052
Uh, it-it-it's lovely,
but I don't think I..
298
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,759
Hey, you look good, kid.
299
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,090
Nobody is ever gonna
call you a nerd again
300
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,466
with that baby, huh?
301
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,723
How did you know
they called me nerd?
302
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:51,811
Skip it.
303
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,821
Twenty bucks.
304
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,528
Well, you know,
this would get me an A.
305
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,398
You know, I'm doing a report
on the proliferation
306
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,985
of handguns in America.
307
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,320
This would make
a great visual aid.
308
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:05,575
Yeah, it really would.
309
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,908
You know,
that's a terrible problem.
310
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:10,873
You know, if I could
help you make that point
311
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:15,835
in some small way, you know,
I'd be so proud.
312
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,340
You'll be surprised
how many crazies
313
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,800
there are out there with guns.
314
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:25,512
You know what I mean.
315
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,141
You bet.
316
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:33,194
You know, kid, I wouldn't sell
this gun to just anybody
317
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:37,819
but you look like you know
how to handle a piece, huh?
318
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,238
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
319
00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:42,356
Well, uh, wh-what kind
of a rod is this?
320
00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:45,414
Ah. It is very special.
321
00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:49,289
In fact, it's called
a, uh, Saturday night special.
322
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,368
Oh, hey,
those are against the law.
323
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:56,093
What? Kid, you're gonna let
some candy-pants politicians
324
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:57,376
tell you what to do?
325
00:13:57,419 --> 00:14:00,379
- Well..
- Come on, kid.
326
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:04,092
Think of an A, huh?
327
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,557
A plus.
328
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:12,563
- You got a deal.
- Attaboy, tiger.
329
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,401
[laughing]
330
00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:16,106
Huh? Huh?
331
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:23,284
[indistinct chatter]
332
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:36,209
- How do I look?
- Hey, great.
333
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:39,590
Except I don't like your head
parted on that side.
334
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:41,008
Hey, you want me to part it
on the other side?
335
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,256
- Wow!
- Whoa! Hey.
336
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,219
Quick, quick, take it off
before Dennis gets here.
337
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,969
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
338
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,181
Hey, guys, what's up?
339
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,720
Hey, hey, you brought
the costume, right?
340
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,734
- Right here.
- Oh.
341
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:54,306
Why, why aren't you in costume?
342
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:58,271
I am. I'm Louis Rukeyser,
the host of "Wall Street Week."
343
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,276
Okay, okay,
is everybody clear on the plan?
344
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,278
Tonight at the carnival,
we have to get Dennis
345
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,910
into the history classroom,
okay?
346
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:07,106
We'll tell him
we need some-some chairs
347
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,316
or some books or something.
348
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:10,325
Here he comes, here he comes.
Shh!
349
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:11,657
Well, well, somebody stole it.
350
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:14,082
Yeah, you're right.
Somebody did steal it.
351
00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:18,327
Excuse me, I'm looking
for a very dear friend of mine.
352
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:20,955
Have any of you seen
Saddam Hussein?
353
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,087
Very nice, guys.
Very, very impressive.
354
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:26,682
Uh, hey, Darlene,
it's getting pretty late.
355
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,927
Don't you think you ought
to put on your costume?
356
00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:30,679
[laughs]
357
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,011
I kid, I'm a kidder.
358
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:33,886
[indistinct chatter]
359
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,943
God, I love this holiday.
360
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:37,516
Obviously, you're the guy
361
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,731
that broke into the cooking
classroom, aren't you?
362
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:40,812
- Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm.
363
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,266
What are you
babbling about, Darlene?
364
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:43,776
Well, we went in there
this morning
365
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,027
to finish our Home Ec projects
366
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,399
and there were
a few things missing.
367
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,985
Oh, like some knives
and the meat cleaver.
368
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,781
Mm-hmm.
369
00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:52,164
- The cleaver?
- Mm-hmm.
370
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,331
As if you didn't know.
371
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,160
I didn't take it, Darlene.
Why would I?
372
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,535
It has no style, no wit.
373
00:15:57,581 --> 00:16:01,461
However, if you're looking
for a fork, I'm the man to ask.
374
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,092
[laughing]
375
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,958
[bell rings]
376
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:07,505
- He'll get his tonight.
- Mm-hmm.
377
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:13,473
[indistinct chatter]
378
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:16,024
After you, Maid Marian.
379
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:32,657
Engen.
380
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:36,450
Oh, Zach, uh,
hey, you look really scary.
381
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,285
I'm not wearing
a costume, Engen.
382
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:42,251
- I'm just scary.
- Oh, right.
383
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:43,882
Bet you thought
you were pretty slick
384
00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,749
sneaking out on me
yesterday, huh?
385
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:48,876
Well, now you owe me
two bucks for yesterday
386
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:51,594
two bucks for today,
plus another 6.50
387
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:55,255
'cause, uh,
I didn't like your movie.
388
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,598
Well, I-I don't have it
all on me right now.
389
00:16:58,642 --> 00:16:59,852
No, mm?
390
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:02,483
Well, you wouldn't, you wouldn't
be hiding it now, would you?
391
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:03,561
- No, I--
- No?
392
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,065
I think I'm gonna see
for myself.
393
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,727
No, Zach, don't take..
394
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,069
Oh, oh, God.
395
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,071
Zach, uh,
it's not what you think.
396
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,873
Hey, it's okay.
You-you don't have to explain.
397
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:17,825
Zach, please don't tell anyone.
398
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,580
Sure. Hey, you know, you know,
I was, I was, uh
399
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:22,332
I was just goofing
with you, Engen.
400
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,044
Okay? I mean..
401
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,593
We-we-we cool?
402
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:32,589
I, uh, I guess
I can let it go..
403
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,637
...this time.
404
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,266
Alright, thanks, Arvid,
and look, I'm not, I'm not
405
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,808
I'm not gonna mess with you
anymore, I promise.
406
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:45,232
Well, uh,
see that you don't, bub.
407
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:50,861
And-and-and that's Mr. Engen
to you.
408
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:54,238
- Mr. Engen.
- Very good.
409
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:58,828
Now scram
unless you're feelin' lucky.
410
00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:02,997
Are ya, punk?
411
00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:15,013
Who am I?
412
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,675
I'm Batman.
413
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,807
Oh, there you are.
414
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,020
Where were you when I was mugged
the other day?
415
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,231
[laughs]
Cute, cute. Yo, Bill.
416
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,981
And yo to you, too, Arvid.
How are you doing?
417
00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:31,074
Good, damn good.
418
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,320
- Where's your costume, big guy?
- Oh, I got it in my bag.
419
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,913
I was kind of embarrassed
to be wearing it
420
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,658
on the streets of New York,
you know.
421
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,740
People might think I was nuts.
422
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:45,326
They might run away in terror
the minute the cloth ties on me.
423
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,754
What do you think?
Hey, brilliant.
424
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,962
I should wear it all the time.
Maybe every day.
425
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:52,843
Well-well, you're-you're not
really afraid, are ya?
426
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:55,631
It's dangerous out there, Arvid,
I tell you.
427
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:59,013
I-I mean, you're the one
who told me to live one day
428
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:02,184
as a lion rather than
a whole lifetime as a lamb.
429
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:05,234
Well, that's how I'm living it.
As a lion.
430
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:06,729
Uh, of course, today I'm a bat
431
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:10,980
but, uh, on-on-on other days,
I'll be much more lionish.
432
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,114
Yeah, never mind.
433
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,571
How's that report
on guns coming along?
434
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,820
Oh, I'll have the statistics
done by tomorrow.
435
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:19,243
But, uh, I've got
a great visual aid.
436
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:20,663
- Yeah?
- Wait till you see it.
437
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,701
- It'll blow you away.
- Great.
438
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:30,916
Oh, Billy,
oh, you look splendid.
439
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,091
A fine rabbit.
440
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,509
Listen, would you help me
blow up these balloons?
441
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:36,628
The kids have to have the gym
decorated by 6:00.
442
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:37,885
Oh, how tempting.
443
00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:39,086
Alone with you in a fairy suit
444
00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:40,546
and a room
full of rubber novelties.
445
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,016
[laughing]
446
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,676
- That's right.
- Sorry, I can't.
447
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:48,646
It's too late and I'm going
to have to grab a cab before--
448
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:50,227
Before it gets dark?
449
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,942
That's not what
I was about to say.
450
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,782
I was going to say before
the news comes on actually.
451
00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,318
[squirts balloon]
452
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,742
Are you implying something?
453
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:03,412
Okay, I admit I've been a bit
more cautious than usual
454
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:06,752
but that doesn't mean I've been
running home like a scared--
455
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,578
Rabbit?
456
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:11,544
Billy, you know
you have a right to be afraid.
457
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,455
I realize that.
Amendment 2A to the Constitution
458
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:16,634
that people have a right
to be afraid of the people
459
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:19,013
who have the right
to keep and bear arms.
460
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:23,468
Okay, I admit it. I'm afraid.
461
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,023
Mr. MacGregor.
462
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:31,732
I need your first quarter,
uh, attendance figures
463
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:34,232
for the Board of Education
meeting.
464
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:36,824
If I don't have them,
I'll look like an idiot.
465
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:42,242
I'll see if I can find them.
466
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,912
Don't think it'll help though.
467
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,121
[laughs]
468
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,214
[whistling]
469
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:51,207
[grunting]
470
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,460
[all screaming]
471
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:59,340
Oh, I can't wait to see
the look on his face.
472
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,303
- Oh.
- Billy, I'm sorry.
473
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,263
- We thought you were Dennis.
- Yeah.
474
00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:04,813
What's the matter
with you people?
475
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:07,386
That's a sick, disgusting
thing to do.
476
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:09,562
Aren't there enough
horrible things in the world
477
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,691
without you inventing more?
478
00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:13,768
(all)
Billy, we were just joking.
479
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:14,774
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
480
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:17,185
Well, I don't think it's funny.
481
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,110
Come on, everyone,
let's just calm down
482
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:21,913
and go back
to the carnival, okay?
483
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,777
- Yeah.
- Right.
484
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,914
[screaming]
485
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,870
Here's Dennis.
486
00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:31,964
[laughs]
487
00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:33,209
Dennis.
488
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,290
That was priceless.
489
00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:36,304
I'm sorry, but you guys set up
490
00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:38,586
that phony madman story
so beautifully
491
00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:39,760
I couldn't resist.
492
00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,928
Oh, you wanna see a madman?
493
00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:46,885
That man struck me
with a carrot.
494
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:49,220
Maybe he thought
you were Elmer Fudd.
495
00:22:02,404 --> 00:22:04,704
Oh, my God, the gun.
496
00:22:05,198 --> 00:22:06,948
[panting]
497
00:22:13,081 --> 00:22:15,541
[theme music]
37060
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.