All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S04E26_2

[theme music]

[bell ringing]

See you tomorrow,
uh, or maybe tonight.

Uh, did anybody here sign up
for that writing class

in historical biographies
at Hunter College?

The one
Linda Bassler's teaching.

So did I.
So, I'll see you there.

You know, I really like the book
that she did on the Civil War.

Yeah, you know she makes
Lincoln and Grant Lee

seem like real
flesh and blood people.

Yeah, with an emphasis on flesh.

I mean, let's face it.
She writes dirty books.

She makes every
historical person

she writes about sex-crazy.

Simone, sex is part of history.

- Just not our history.
- 'Oh.'

[indistinct chatter]

Well, see you tonight,
or tomorrow.

[instrumental music]

(Charlie)
Now, this should be fun,
it's gonna be like

being back in high school again.

Yeah, this is, uh, pretty cool,
us taking a class together

and being pals
and partners and equals.

Right, Charlie?

Oh.

So, where's this old bag anyway?

- Alan, she's hardly an old bag.
- Oh, come on.

She gets her jollies by writing

about Ulysses S. Grant's
love life.

She was probably there
peeking in his tent.

She's a lecherous old prune.

Hi, everybody.

I'm, uh, sorry, I'm late.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Excuse me, Miss Bassler, but

how can you presume to know

what a historical character
was thinking?

Well, I often create
conversations

from diary entries,
love letters

or personal reminiscences.

So, in other words,
you make them up.

- Uh, yes.
- If I may.

Alan, isn't it more interesting
to create the experiences

that Lincoln felt following
Ann Rutledge's death?

'It's not enough to say'

"Died 1836,
New Salem, Illinois."

She was the love of his life.

Oh, well, actually it was 1835.

And I'm not so sure that
he was the love of her life

but, yeah, that's-that's
the general idea.

Thank you, Mr. Moore.

Way to kiss up, Chucky.

You know, in fact,
um, for tomorrow

uh, why don't you each, uh,
pick two historical characters

write an imaginary
conservation between them.

Based on any research
that you can verify.

Okay? Great,
we'll see you all tomorrow.

Okay.

Uh, Mr. Moore. Hey, thanks
again for your kind words.

I'm a high school
history teacher

but I'm also a fan of yours.

Oh, thank you.

As are my students.

Eric's becoming a writer.

Wonderful.

Alan...reads.

I really enjoyed the class
tonight, Miss Bassler.

Oh, I mean, I did too. We-we--

- It was wonderful.
- Really, a great--

- Dennis and Arvid.
- Terrific class.

We all enjoyed it, Miss Bassler.

Clowns.

Darlene.
Goodnight, Darlene.

And I guess
we're keeping you here.

Oh, we better get going, guys.

- Yeah.
- Yes.

You know, I-I was thinking about
stopping for a cup of coffee

on my way home, Mr. Moore,
if you'd care to join me?

- Sure.
- Great. You know Jessen's?

One of my neighborhood hangouts.

Ah-ha. Coffee soulmate.

[instrumental music]

And then Mr. Moore goes into
talking about Abraham Lincoln's

mourning for his dead
girlfriend.

Get out of here,
he actually expected

to get some action
with a line like that?

Action? While I was
picking out my eyeballs

off the floor, he already
had a date with her.

- Oh, right.
- Yeah.

I got to try this one.

You know, baby..

...I had a girlfriend,
but she died.

Lucky for her.

[indistinct chatter]

Good morning, everybody.

(in unison)
Good morning, Mr. Moore.

So, the old Abraham Lincoln's
dead girlfriend ploy.

You're a star, bud. Mm.

Look, if you're referring
to Linda and me, uh..

- Oh, it's Linda now.
- Uh-huh.

- So, how was your date?
- Yeah?

Uh, we weren't dating.

We simply went out
for some espresso.

Oh! Espresso!

Well, I think we all know
what that means.

So, Mr. Moore,
did you hold hands?

Did you kiss goodnight?

Did you make plans
for the weekend?

[laughing]

Friends, friends, friends.

I am deeply touched by your
concerns for my love life.

But there's nothing between us.

Yet!

Alright, alright, I'll admit,
she's...interesting.

She's, uh, attractive.

She's very attractive.

And, uh, I'll admit,
I wouldn't mind

seeing her outside
the classroom.

- Or inside your apartment?
- Oh.

[bell ringing]

I think this means that we're
supposed to start the class now.

- Morning, gang.
- Wrong again.

Mr. Moore,
I just want to remind you

you're giving
the CPR demonstration

at the Teacher's Safety
Committee meeting tonight.

Here's your dummy.

Where is she, huh?

- Oh.
- I'm sorry, Dr. Samuels.

I couldn't get the door open.
You closed it on my face.

I did not close the door
on your face.

Alright, you closed it
on the dummy's face.

- It's the same thing.
- Sometimes I think it is.

I don't have to listen
to this kind of..

- Well..
- E-excuse me.

A-about tonight, I'm sorry.
But I-I forgot I can't be there.

You gave your word.

You're not going back
on your word, are you?

- You're right.
- Oh, good. I'm glad to hear it.

That's much better. Carry on!

I think we should
discuss your attitude.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[instrumental music]

Um, Miss Bassler, Mr. Moore
asked me to give you his paper.

He's sorry
he couldn't be here tonight.

- Had a teacher's meeting.
- Oh.

- Well, tell him he was missed.
- Yeah.

Wow.

"Conversation between Richard
Nixon and Elvis Presley."

Well, that Mr. Moore
sure does have

an interesting mind,
doesn't he?

Well, actually that's my paper.

Really?

Yeah, you know, most people
don't know that Elvis

once approached Nixon
and volunteered

to be an undercover drug agent.

Oh, I know. I know.

I'm working on
a behind-the-scenes look

at the Nixon White House.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Well, come on, I'll tell you
about it over a cup of coffee.

Coffee?

- What kind?
- Oh, I don't know.

Espresso?

Espresso. Wow.

[instrumental music]

I thought she had the hots
for Mr. Moore.

She did. But now
she's got the hots for me.

Remarkable.
Mm-mm-mm.

- Oh. Hi, Alan, what's up?
- Hey.

Well, man, I feel terrible.

I mean, Mr. Moore has gone out
on a limb for me a lot of times.

[scoffs]
Now I go and do this to him?

Yeah, but you didn't
do anything to him.

I mean, you were there,
she went for you.

You're in the clear.

Why do women have to find me
so adorable?

It's probably your eyes.

They kind of got that
lost puppy look.

- Hi, guys.
- Mr. Moore.

Good morning, Mr. Moore.

[bell ringing]

Uh, I got to go. I-I don't wanna
be late for class.

[instrumental music]

You guys really are great.

Really,
very interesting papers.

You've got
some original ideas here

that I wish I had thought of.

What do you think this means?

"Cute, but no conflict."

I, uh.. What two people did you
choose for your conservation?

Oliver North and Genghis Khan.

They were both military men
with strong family ties.

She obviously doesn't get
my sense of humor.

Oh, I didn't know
you had a sense of humor.

Oh, I-I didn't mean it like--

Come on, Arvid! Vidal Sassoon
and Mamie Eisenhower?

[laughing]

It's a riot.
Don't you get it?

[laughing]

(Linda)
'Oh, yes, here we are, Arvid.'

Albert Einstein and Madonna.

- Very nice.
- He-he. Thanks.

Yeah, I was trying
to identify with both of them.

'Cause, on one hand,
I'm a mathematician

and, of course, on the other..

You're like a virgin.

Hey, Chuck.. Uh, Mr. Moore.

What did you get?
Four stars, right?

Well, she seemed to like it.

You know, it's, uh,
Jefferson and FDR.

Mm-hmm.

"Interesting, resourceful,
thought-provoking."

Yeah, what kind of thoughts
were you provoking, Mr. Moore?

- Do you mind? Do you mind?
- Alright.

- How'd you do?
- She-she liked it okay.

"Okay?"
You're a terrific writer.

Maybe I just didn't hit
this one out of the ballpark.

Well, if there aren't
any, uh, questions

I'll see you all
tomorrow night.

Actually, uh,
I do have a question.

Sure, Charlie.

Would you like to have
coffee with me tonight?

- Oh, yeah, I'd love to.
- Okay.

Yeah. Oh, excuse me a minute.

Listen, Eric.

I meant what I wrote
on your paper.

I mean, you're imaginative,
you're brilliant.

You have a very special way
of putting words together.

I just loved it. Really.

- Thank you.
- Sure.

- Oh, I'll be ready in a minute.
- Sure.

Eric, uh...listen.

It's great,
but you could've told me.

Uh, I guess, I just didn't wanna
make you feel bad.

Eric, it's a little
night school class, okay?

I mean, so she liked your paper
better than she liked mine.

So what? Who knows?

I mean, maybe she read
your paper first

by the time she got to mine,
she had a headache.

I mean, it could be
a lot of reasons.

Oh, I think I know
a real good reason.

Yeah?

She likes me.

Of course she likes you.
Why shouldn't she?

No. She really likes me.

A lot.

By any chance,
do-do you mean "Like"

other than
in a student-teacher sense?

Uh-uh, let me put this in
a vernacular of your hay day.

Hubba-hubba.

Hubba-hubba was my
father's hay day, not mine.

O-okay. Out of sight.
Is that better?

Look, Eric, what exactly
has she said or done

to lead you to believe this?

Mr. Moore, last night,
she asked me out for coffee.

- Espresso.
- Espresso?

- How many?
- One.

Two.

She gave me
"Imaginative and brilliant"

up against your
"Thought-provoking."

Come on, Mr. Moore,
"Thought-provoking."

It's like saying
you have a nice personality.

- All set.
- Great.

Hey, what do you say
we blow this pop stand

an-and get some coffee, huh?

Oh, well, actually
I was supposed

to have some coffee
with Charlie.

- Yeah. Espresso. Ahem.
- Oh.

Well, Eric,
why don't you come with us?

I mean, you don't mind,
do you, Charlie?

Not if Eric
wants to tag along.

No, no. That-that's okay.
I don't wanna be a..

Third wheel?

You know, Linda, if you don't
mind me coming along..

Let's go.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

And the things
that we never suspected.

I mean,
John Kennedy and Marilyn.

Bobby Kennedy and Marilyn.

You know,
we were so naive then.

And I think that's why it's
interesting to look back now.

You know,
that-that's the funny thing

about these people
from the '60s.

They think that was
the only decade we ever had.

It was so long ago.

It wasn't that long ago.

Besides, you have to admit

that it was an exciting

and a turbulent era.

And that's why there is
so much nostalgia for it now.

You know, nostalgia to me

is David Bowie's
Thin White Duke Tour in '83.

You saw that tour?

Oh, it was fantastic,
wasn't it?

- Oh.
- Tell me about it.

Wow.

Well, not that
I didn't love the '60s.

I mean, it was
very complicated, scary.

Oh, sexy times.

- Yeah.
- 'Yeah.'

Oh, excuse me,
I've got to make a phone call.

Well, I suppose you think

you're making points
or something.

Come on, Mr. Moore..

I mean, Linda and I have
a lot more in common

than you and she could ever
hope to have.

Don't you have
some homework to do?

I mean, I'm sure you do,
I assigned it.

Look, if it'll save you
some embarrassment

you can leave now
before Linda comes back.

I-I'll cover for you.

I'll tell her
you had a stroke or something.

So, uh, where were we?

Well, I was saying to Eric, uh,
it's gettin' kinda late

and maybe he should call
his mother, you know

so she doesn't worry.

I haven't had to call home
since I was 17.

Since last October?

It is getting kinda late though

and you are looking
kinda tired, Mr. Moore.

Uh, you know what, guys?
I'm tired.

Why don't we all call it
a night, huh?

Would you like me
to see you home?

Or I-I can give you a lift.

- In what, the bus?
- Oh, that's right.

I forgot your Jaguar's
parked right out front.

Uh, thanks anyways,
but I'm not going straight home.

- I'll see you tomorrow, huh?
- Okay, this is on me.

No, no, no, no.
I'll get it, I'll get it.

Uh, sorry, guys, it's on me.

Thank you very much.

- Goodnight.
- See you.

Goodnight.

Do you have any subway tokens?

No, you-you got any money?

[instrumental music]

Eric and Linda Bassler?

- You've got to be kiddin'!
- Yeah!

That's what he says.

Wait a minute, what a story.

A beautiful woman finally comes
into Mr. Moore's lonely life

and a young stud comes
and steals her away.

Well, of course.
You've read her books.

I mean, she's just
the kind of tramp

that would be attracted
to a jerk like Eric.

But, Simone,
you dated Eric for months.

- 'Yeah!'
- 'Ooh!'

Thank you, Sarah.

[Simone clears throat]

What?

Nothing, Mister Ungrateful

for all Mr. Moore's
ever done for you.

Yeah, I mean,
if you like older women

how about the one in
the cafeteria with the hairnet?

[laughs]

- Morning, everyone.
- 'Good morning, Mr. Moore.'

Mr. Moore, lookin' good!

Lookin' yart.

Yeah, hey, you know,
the lady in the cafeteria

was askin' about you
the other day.

Really?
The one with the hairnet?

Yeah.

I'll keep her in mind.

[bell ringing]

Eric, uh..

Be right back.

[instrumental music]

I know that there's nothing
between Linda and me.

You're giving her up?

I-I gotta hand it
to you, Mr. Moore.

You are a class guy.
Really.

Maybe we could
double-date sometime.

You know, me and Linda,
and-and you and whoever.

Okay?

Eric, I don't think
you understand.

Uh, you know, there's nothing
for me to give up.

And there's nothing
for you to give up either.

- What?
- I'm saying that..

I don't think there's anything
more between you and Linda

than there is between
me and Linda.

[scoffs]
Look, look..

I understand,
y-you're a little bitter.

It's just-it's just
coming out of hurt.

Eric, think about this.

Now she got up to make
a phone call.

And when she came back,
we offered to see her home.

And she said, she wasn't
going straight home.

Did it occur to you, she..

She might be going
to someone else's home?

She could have been going
anywhere, Mr. Moore.

- Her mother, h-her girlfriend.
- Eric.

Uh, there's something
old guys call

"Reading the signs."

Her sign says
"Occupied."

Yeah, well, the sign I got
was "Open for business."

[sighs]

She likes me, Mr. Moore.
And I like her.

And I'm gonna tell her tonight.

- I wouldn't.
- You lost. Be a man.

[instrumental music]

Hey, thanks, pal.

Uh, no more for me, thanks.

Well, it, uh, sure
was nice of you

to ask me out
for coffee, Eric.

Oh, it-it-it's
the least I could do.

T-this is the best course
I ever took in anything

and, and, uh,
t-that includes sex education.

[chuckles]
Oh, gee, thanks.

But I really think
it has much more to do

with your fresh approach
and your enthusiasm.

I mean, I, you really, you make
it much more interesting for me.

Thank you. I kinda
sensed you felt that way.

But I gotta tell you,
we, we got a problem.

Oh, we have?

- Mr. Moore.
- Mr. Moore?

- He's jealous.
- Why?

I think he must be going
through some sort of

mid-life crisis
or something.

He-he keeps tryin'
to convince me that

you're not interested in me.

Of course,
I'm interested in you.

I mean,
you're very interesting.

I thought
it was kinda obvious.

You know, he can be a bitter
and petty guy sometimes.

Oh, he didn't seem
that way to me at all.

Uh, h-he keeps trying
to do everything

he can to undermine
our relationship.

Our relationship?

I presume, you mean,
as in, uh, teacher and student.

Well, well, I mean..

You know, Eric,
he should understand that

that I'm interested
in you as a writer.

That I love your talent.

I mean, it's not
as if I have any ideas

about dating you
or anything like that.

Right. Uh, of course.

- So, what's he so upset about?
- Yeah.

Did he really think
I had designs on you?

And he was jealous?

[laughing]

It's absurd, isn't it?

I tell you,
the guy has gone whacko.

Uh, well, you know maybe
it was my fault, you know?

My boyfriend, he's always
telling me that I..

That I'm too friendly
with people.

That they'll misinterpret me.

- Your boyfriend told you that?
- Hmm.

Yeah, he's told me that
over and over again for years.

- Y-years?
- Hm, yeah.

We go around and around
about getting married.

But, you know,
careers, all that.

Oh, hey, tell me about it.

So, uh, w-what is he doing?
He works nights and stuff?

- Hm. Days and nights.
- Yeah.

- Cab driver?
- Hm. Neurosurgeon.

He has cases
all over the world.

But, you know, I finally feel
that I-I wanna have a baby.

We're gonna try to
get it together.

Well, hey, what about you?
You datin' anyone?

Um..

You know, if you're lonely,
I have a niece

that's about your age..

- Uh, uh, that's okay.
- No.

She likes rock concerts,
hangin' out at the mall.

You know, I bet
that you'd like her.

No, I-I'm fine.
Really, uh..

When I'm not dating, it gives me
more time to...write.

Well, listen, I hope you'll
help, uh, Charlie understand.

- Oh, yeah.
- Good.

I really have to go.

Oh, no, hey. L-let me get this.
Let me get this.

Please, come on,
I won't have you

spending your allowance
on me.

[instrumental music]

- Morning, everyone.
- Morning, Mr. Moore.

Um, Mr. Moore,
I just want you to know

we all feel really sorry
about what Eric did to you.

Eric and that,
well, slut.

(Moore)
'Simone.'

Linda Bassler
is definitely not a slut.

- She's not?
- No.

Nor is she interested
in either of us.

Fortunately, for Eric,
before he pursued it

he realized that there
were too many differences

for them to
ever work it out.

Thanks, Mr. Moore.

But that's not exactly
what happened either.

- She's gonna have a baby.
- She's pregnant?

(all)
What?

L-look,
she's got a boyfriend.

They-they're gonna get married.
H-he's a neurosurgeon.

She wants to have a baby.

Uh, I-I don't know
what I was thinking about.

Mr. Moore tried to warn me off,
but I wouldn't listen.

Till she finally had to use
the big three, huh, Eric?

What big three?

Well, see, if you're not
interested, but a guy

doesn't pick up on the early
signs, like Mr. Moore did

and things get a little sticky

sometimes you have
to hit 'em with..

one, boyfriend,
two, getting married

and in extreme cases,
like yours, number three, baby.

Works every time.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

It was humiliating.

I'm lucky she didn't pinch
my cheek and give me a dollar.

How could I have
misread her like that?

- You were right on.
- I wasn't right on.

I made the same mistake you did.
You know, a lot of guys do.

Sometimes when a woman
is friendly to you

it simply means
she wants to be friends.

Yeah, but at least
you figured it out

before you tried to
give her a hickey.

[theme music]