All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S04E22_2

[theme music]

What is this?
Be Nice To Nerds Day?

No. Well, maybe it's that
these girls have finally

looked past the pocket protector
and glasses

and have seen the man within.

Arvid, congratulations.

I just heard that
you're on the committee

that pick the queen
for the dance.

Again, maybe
that I'm on the committee

to pick the queen for the dance.

Oh, I can't believe
that they still have that

stupid queen contest. You know,
they should put an end to it.

Cancel the contest?

Well, why don't you
just bomb Disneyland?

[laughing]

Arvid, no, these contests
just reinforce the idea

that if you're not pretty,
you don't count.

- It's sexist and degrading.
- Mm-hm.

Yeah, but I get to judge it.

I always loved beauty contests.

When I was little,
I used to dress my doll up

like Miss America.

Oh, you see, how adorable.

If you wanna be a candidate
for queen

all you have to do
is sign up in the office.

Oh, Arvid,
I would love to be queen

but I don't think
I'm the queen type.

What? Are you kidding?

You would make
the perfect queen.

- You really think so, Arvid?
- Hey, you'd get my vote.

W-well, if I got your vote,
then I will be queen.

Well, uh, yeah,
but-but, uh, uh, of course--

Queen Viki.
Queen Victoria.

Hey, that does have
a certain ring, doesn't it?

And when I win, I could
make my acceptance speech

all about animal rights.

And all the animals that we save
will owe their lives to you.

Thanks, Arvid.

- Ah.
- Good morning, Arvid.

- Uh, good morning, Mr. Moore.
- How's the big search coming?

- Surprisingly easy.
- Well, good.

You know, that is the reason
I appointed you

to the selection committee.

You are the only guy I figured

who would not take advantage
of the situation.

Oh, well, thank you,
Mr. Moore, and, uh

believe me,
I won't betray your trust.

- Hi, Arvid.
- Oh. Hi, Rhonda.

So how's that
queen contest coming?

[instrumental music]

I-I guess
you're entering, too, huh?

Me? No.

I could never be queen.
They only pick the good girls.

Well, y-you're a good girl.

Y-you're a great girl.

Arvid, I mean good.

Oh, you mean your reputation?

Yeah.

I mean, it doesn't seem fair

that only I got
the bad reputation.

Well, that's true.

Well, i-if it makes you feel
any better

I-I personally have
very little respect for Bill.

Or Steven Ray. Bob.

T-the Tarnower twins.

Thank you.

But most people
just remember me and..

...girls like me
aren't elected queen

no matter
how much they want it.

And you want it?

But it's just a dream.

I mean, stuff like that doesn't
happen to girls like me.

Well, uh, Rhonda,
you're just the kind of girl

who should have
her dreams come true.

Like being queen?

- Absolutely.
- You'd make me queen?

That's the nicest thing anyone
has ever done for me, Arvid.

- Thank you.
- 'I-I..'

Of course,
you're welcome, but I-I..

- Ah!
- Arvid, I've gotta talk to you.

It's about something
that's very important to you.

- Huh?
- Come on.

What, uh.. Oh!

- Come on. Come on.
- Wait, Da-Darlene, what..

What is so important to me?

Oh, did I say to you?
I meant to me.

Anyway, it's about this contest.

Arvid, I think
I'd make a perfect queen.

Why does this not surprise me?

Well, just sign up
in the office

and your application
will be considered

along with the others.

Well, Arvid.

See, I know that's how
all the others girls do it.

But if I'm considered
just like all the other girls

well, there's a slim chance
that I wouldn't win.

- No.
- Yes.

And I don't like it
when I don't win.

So I was thinking

maybe you could arrange it
so we could just--

Yeah-yeah, no, I-I couldn't!

Okay.

I guess
I'll have to play hardball.

Now I didn't wanna
have to resort to this.

And of course, if I were queen

I wouldn't have time
to be thinking about

oh, embarrassing things
from your past.

Hey-hey-hey, you-you have,
you have nothing on me.

Everything embarrassing I've
done has been public knowledge.

Oh, really.

Then everybody knows
what my friend Jeff told me.

Well, you know Jeff,
don't you, Arvid?

He works at Rent-a-video.

'See, it's his job
to keep a complete record'

'of all the tapes
that people rent there.'

Does "Buns Of The Magnificent
Seven" ring a bell?

You'll make a beautiful queen.

Thank you, Arvid.

[instrumental music]

So the current interest
payments alone

on the national debt
are almost as large

as the total national budget
for 1970.

So is the amount
of lunch money Dennis owes me.

[bell rings]

Okay, listen, before you go, uh

how are preparations
for the dance coming?

- Oh, well..
- It's okay.

Because Dr. Samuels is forcing
me to chaperone this thing

doesn't mean I'm gonna do
all the work, okay?

Oh, come on, Mr. Moore,
don't worry.

We won't let you down.

Okay. So, uh, Eric,
how is the publicity coming?

Oh, glad you reminded me.

Listen up. Big dance.
Friday night. School gym.

Eric, uh, they already know
about it.

The point of publicity
is to inform others of it.

No problem.
Tell all your friends.

Eric, uh, can you
and I have a meeting about this

after school today?

T.J., uh,
is all the music picked up?

How should I know?

Because I put you in charge.

Oh, now I get it.

Man, I thought
you said the music

will be provided
by a DJ, not T.J.

[laughing]

- So you've done nothing at all?
- No.

Perhaps you can join Eric
for our little meeting

after school today.

No problem, you're the boss.

Don't worry about the food,
Mr. Moore.

I got it all taken care of.

See my Uncle Tony
owns a restaurant

and he's gonna give us
a great deal.

What kind of a deal?

We're gonna have platano maduro,
arroz con pollo

carnitas, the works.
All for $4 a head.

$4 a head?
Where is this restaurant?

Well, right now,
he's on 181 Street

but he can push it
down here anytime.

Right. I-I'll be at the meeting
after the meeting.

Yeah.

Well, Arvid,
you seem to be the only one

taking your assignment
seriously.

[chuckles]

Yeah, well, uh, M-Mr. Moore

let me, let me pose
a, a hypothetical question

about this queen contest thing.

Uh, what if, let's say,
three girls

got the mistaken impression
that I, I'd vote for them?

How did they somehow
get that impression?

- I told them.
- Oh, Arvid.

I-I-I didn't mean to,
but, well..

Well, Viki's so cute
and Rhonda's so cute and..

...I'm afraid of Darlene.

Well, Arvid, uh,
I personally think

these contests
are silly and stupid

and demeaning for all involved.

But if I wanted someone to take
advantage of this situation

I-I could've picked Dennis.

I-I-I know, but, hey-hey,
I only gave away the queenship

he-he would've sold it
20 bucks a pop.

Well, now you want me
to get you out of this?

Well, I-I don't have
a magic formula, okay?

I think you simply have to tell
each of the girls the truth

and that is the only way
that you're gonna get out of it.

Oh, Mr. Moore, there's gotta be
another way out.

No, I don't think so.

Well, I don't think Fillmore

offers a semester
at CE program.

Okay, alright, alright,
the next candidate

for queen is, uh, Viki Amory.
She's candidate number five.

Now does anybody wanna say, you
know, anything on her behalf?

Uh, I recommend Viki
wholeheartedly.

She's an excellent student
and well-liked by her peers.

Thank you, Arvid. Um..

Okay, our next candidate
is Darlene Merriman.

Anybody have any thoughts?

I recommend Darlene
wholeheartedly.

She-she's an excellent student
and-and well-liked by her peers.

Hey, broken record, you can't
keep saying the same thing

about every candidate.

I was only gonna say it
about one more.

Look, if you keep up like this,
we'll end up with no queen.

No queen. Really?

- We-we could do that?
- No, we can't do that.

Arvid, why wouldn't
we want a queen?

B-because people came to this
country to escape royalty.

Arvid, beauty contests
are as American as apple pie.

There is nothing more wholesome.

Alright, we got the next
candidate here, Susan Davidson.

Now there is a cute little
Barbie doll there.

Uh, cute little Barbie doll?

Uh, Dr. Samuels, everyone,
with, with-with all due respect

I am highly insulted.

Th-th-this whole contest
is-is demeaning to women.

And-and-and it's silly
and stupid.

I say it's high time we unchain
these sexist shackles.

What's he talking about?

Well, now that you mention it,
I have heard

a lot of the students
complaining about the contest

and maybe it is demeaning.

Right on, sister!

I mean, after all,
women should be admired

for their intelligence
or their achievements

their courage and--

Hey, Miss Meara,
what are you talking about now?

She's right.

Women shouldn't be admired
just 'cause they may have

uh, petulant lips,
lean, tanned thighs

firm, high buttocks.

Alright! That's it!

You tell the cheerleaders
no more somersaults.

Alright, and while we're at it
why don't we just go ahead

and abolish this contest?

No! No-no-no, wait-wait,
now, wait a minute!

Let's not get carried away
here now.

[all clamoring]

Well, I can't believe it. They
actually canceled the contest.

Yeah, it's great.
Everybody's happy about it.

- I know.
- Yeah.

- Hey, Arvid.
- Oh, hi, Mr. Moore.

Guess you lucked out, huh?
No contest.

Hey, ain't life funny?

- What happened?
- Oh, uh, Dr. Samuels.

Y-you know, he's got
a real sensitivity

toward women's issues.

- What a saint.
- Yeah.

I don't suppose you had
any influence on his decision.

[chuckles]
Mr. Moore, I-I-I am shocked,
y-your attitude.

I-I would've thought
that you of all people

would have a-applauded the end
to this archaic practice

of parading female flesh around
like so many pieces of meat.

I mean, women are to be
respected, cherished.

Arvid, Miss Meara told me
what happened.

Uh, just like a woman.
Can't keep their mouth shut.

[laughs]

- Unlike you.
- Uh, yeah.

You really think
you're gonna get away with this?

Well, I got a shot.

T-that is, if I can count on you
not to tell anyone.

Oh, my lips are sealed.

As is your fate.

Oh, do you have your tickets
for the dance yet?

No, I don't think I'm going.

It's not gonna be
as much fun now

that they canceled
the queen contest.

Oh! Oh, how about you, Viki?
Are you going to the dance?

If you want,
I've got some tickets left.

What's the point now that
they canceled the queen contest?

Boy, listen to you two,
from the way you're talking

you think you were gonna win.

- I was!
- I was!

Well, you'd certainly win
the ego portion of the contest.

No, Sarah. I--

Viki, what do you mean
you were gonna win?

Well, I guess it doesn't matter
anymore. I may as well tell you.

Arvid told me that
he was going to choose me.

Well, you must have
misunderstood him.

See, Arvid said he was gonna
swing the vote my way.

Arvid said that
you would be queen?

- Yeah.
- Wait a minute.

Arvid told me I was gonna win.

You too?

Wasn't that cute?

Arvid told all three of us
the same thing.

He's dead meat.

[instrumental music]

Arvid, are you going
to the dance Friday night?

Oh, no, no. I-I never do
too well at those things.

And last year,
I spent most of the evening

doing the twist
with Nurse McKinley.

Hm. No, no,
she retired this year.

Well, I was going
and I was wondering

if you would like
to be my date?

- A-a-are you kidding?
- Of course not.

After all,
you were on the committee

that canceled the queen contest.

You must have had
something to do with it.

Me? N-n-n-no, I-I-I,
I had nothing to do with it.

Oh, Arvid, Arvid.
Don't be so modest.

You have opened my eyes
to the fact

that women shouldn't be treated
like sex objects.

[chuckles]
Well, when you feel strongly
about women's rights as I do.

- I find that so exciting.
- Oh.

Most men just think of me
as some kind of a boy toy.

A plaything to be used
for their enjoyment

for hour after hour after hour.

Oh, no, it never,
it never crossed my mind.

Pick me up at 8:00.

[chuckles]
Yes, yes, yes!

- Hi, Arvid.
- Hi, Rhonda.

Wanna go to the dance
with me on Friday?

I, oh, oh, I can't!

I guess it was stupid of me
to ask.

Of course, you wouldn't wanna
be seen with me.

N-n-no, of-of course,
I wanna be seen with you.

I-I like you, Rhonda,
and I respect you, but..

Any guy in the right mind
will be proud

to go to the dance with you.

Great. Pick me up at 8:15.

Okay, I..

Oh! Oh! Oh!

- Hi, Arvid.
- H-hi, Darlene.

I want you to take me
to the dance.

Uh, I-I couldn't.
I-I can't.

Oh, really?
Read my lips.

- "Buns Of The Magnificent--"
- I'll pick you at 8:30!

♪ Put your glad rags on
and join me hon ♪

♪ We'll have some fun
when the clock strikes 1:00 ♪

♪ We're gonna rock around
the clock tonight ♪

♪ We're gonna rock rock rock
till broad daylight ♪

♪ We're gonna rock gonna rock
around the clock tonight ♪

I'm not upset, Charlie.

I just thought
when you said dance

I thought you meant
the China Club.

Well, we'll go someplace nice
later, okay?

I mean, it may not be that bad.
It might actually be fun.

You know, high school has
changed since we were students.

♪ Around the clock tonight ♪

[laughing]

This is going to be
so much fun tonight, Arvid.

Oh, can you just do me
one favor?

- Take these glasses off.
- Oh, yeah, uh, alright--

- Now give me some punch.
- Oh, but I can't see.

- I'll be your eyes. No.
- Oh.

- Here. Lots of ice.
- Ice? Oh.

Oh, uh, alright.

Oh, and I want some
of those hors d'oeuvres.

See if there's spinach salad,
but pick out those little

bacon bits
because I don't eat meat.

Unless they're made out of soy.

Alright, s-soy.

♪ We're gonna rock gonna rock
around the clock tonight ♪♪

I'm sorry, really sorry.

- Hi, Arvid.
- Oh, hi, Mr. Moore.

Arvid, this is my friend
Joanna Butler.

This is Arvid Engen, a student.

- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.

Well, a date with Viki, Arvid,
must be very exciting, huh?

[laughs]
Hey, I don't know,
I don't know how it happened.

I was just, uh.. She just came
right up and asked me.

I-I guess women kind of go
for my cool, laidback, mellow..

Wow! I gotta get out of here!

♪ Aah ya ya ya ya ♪

♪ Ya ya ya ya ya ya ♪♪

How long do we have
to stay, Charlie?

You wanted to see
the floor show, didn't you?

Keep your eye on the kid
in the yellow sweater.

I believe I'm looking forward
to this, Arvid.

Uh, y-yeah, sure.

- Would you get me some punch?
- Punch? Sure.

- No ice.
- Uh, no ice.

And I want those
little cocktail franks.

- Uh..
- With mustard.

Brown, not yellow.

Punch with no ice,
franks with mustard

brown, not yellow.

[sighs]

Hey, Aristotle?

There are other people
around here besides T.J.

that would like
to have their picture taken.

- Sure.
- Ah.

Arvid, where have you been?
It has been 20 minutes.

I, I was getting your food.

What is this?

I said lots of ice

and you expect me
to eat boiled pig flesh?

Uh, right, right, right,
uh, uh, punch with ice

uh, spinach salad, no bacon,
no boiled pig flesh.

- Right.
- Oh, uh, uh..

Oh, and take off these glasses.

- Right, right. Okay.
- Arvid?

Okay.

Ooh.

Oh. Oh.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Rhonda.

Where's my food?

Uh, it, um..

I was just gonna get it.

Take off that tie.
It's so nerdy.

- Really?
- Yeah.

[instrumental music]

Arvid, why are you so nervous?
I'm not going anywhere.

In fact, I'm not gonna leave
your side all night.

Oh, joy.

Uh, I, y-y-you want some punch,
don't you?

- Well, that would be nice.
- Okay.

- Ice on the side.
- On the side.

Oh, and Arvid, I think
I'll have some hors d'oeuvres.

But I'm kind of picky
about what I eat.

Oh, aren't you all?
Uh, uh, a-aren't we all?

- I want breast of chicken.
- Chicken.

- But please peel the skin.
- No skin.

And a small green salad
with sesame seed dressing

but hold the sesame seeds.

No seeds.

And, Arvid, comb back your hair!

This is supposed
to be the '50s.

- Hey!
- And put on your tie.

Okay. Alright.

♪ Too real is this feeling
of make-believe ♪

♪ Too real when I feel
what my heart can't conceal ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Yes I'm the great pretender ♪

♪ Just laughin' ♪

So...what about my food?

Food? Yes.

Food.

♪ You see I'm wearing my heart
like a crown ♪

- Thank you.
- Oh, Arvid.

- How's it goin'?
- I'm fine, uh..

Hey, chicken with no skin.

- I must have missed this.
- Hey, don't.

They-they-they..
No, no, no!

Yo, everybody!
This dance is ladies' choice.

So all you girls grab that dude

and pull him and his ducktail
out onto the dance floor.

♪ Can't conceal ♪
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Yes I'm the great pretender ♪

♪ Just laughing and gay
like a clown ♪

♪ I seem to be ♪

- Oh!
- Whoa!

♪ You see I'm wearing ♪♪

This ain't your best..

[laughs]

Oh, I..
Oh, I was, oh, the glass..

[mumbling]

O-okay! That's it!
That's it. I'm sorry!

I've been duplicitous
and dishonest

and I-I can't take this anymore!

You're not gonna believe this

'but I invited all three of you
to the dance tonight.'

[gasping]

You did what?

That's it, Arvid. Take me home.

- Take me home.
- No, take me home.

Alright, alright, alright.

Uh, Darlene, you live uptown

so I-I'll take you home first.

Then-then, Viki, you're on the
way to Rhonda's, so I suppose--

Don't even bother
taking me home, Arvid.

I may as well get used
to walking the streets.

And to think I was planning
on going to college

and becoming a doctor
and achieving my greatest goal

of becoming Mrs. Arvid Engen.

But now that you've betrayed me,
what's the point?

I think I'll become
a fallen woman.

Oh, Rhonda.
No, don't fall, don't fall.

I thought
that you were different.

I thought you were sensitive.

You're nothing
but an imitation Alan Alda.

Good thing I found out now.

And to think I was this close
to giving myself to you.

I'll get right back
to you, Rhonda.

Please, Viki, I am sensitive!

Oh, God, no.

You know, Arvid,
I'm a very jealous woman.

And when I'm wronged,
I get vindictive.

Excuse me, everybody.

Does anybody know the movie
"Buns Of The Magnificent?"

[Arvid screams]

Well, is, uh, everyone
having a good time?

Uh..

[chuckles]

We're having a great time,
Mr. Moore.

Yeah, um, I think we've had
enough fun for tonight.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, girls.

We set the whole thing up,
Arvid.

- It was just a little joke.
- Yeah.

[all laughing]

[instrumental music]

Yo! It's sad but true.
Time now for the last dance.

And it's gentlemen's choice,
so don't blow your chance.

Grab your favorite poodle skirt
and dance!

[all cheering]

Do you wanna dance?

(all)
Sure!

♪ Do you wanna dance
and hold my hand? ♪

♪ Tell me baby
I'm your lover man ♪

♪ Oh baby ♪

♪ Do you wanna dance? ♪

♪ Well do you wanna dance
under the moonlight? ♪

♪ Squeeze me baby
all through the night ♪

♪ Oh baby do you wanna dance? ♪

♪ Oh do you want to dance
under the moonlight? ♪

♪ Squeeze me
all through the night ♪

♪ Oh baby.. ♪♪

[Bobby Freeman singing
"Do You Wanna Dance?"]

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Well do you wanna dance
and hold my hand? ♪

♪ Call me your lover man ♪

♪ Oh baby do you wanna dance? ♪

♪ Well do you wanna dance
under the moonlight? ♪

♪ Squeeze and hug me
all through the night ♪

♪ Oh baby do you wanna dance? ♪

♪ Well do you wanna.. ♪♪