All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S04E10_2

[theme music]

Hey, girls.
How's it going?

- Hey, Alan and Alex.
- This is..

[indistinct chatter]

- 'Simone..'
- 'No, no.'

- 'No, no.'
- 'You did not.'

[indistinct chatter]

- Oh, hi, Viki.
- Hi, Arvid.

- Uh, how was your weekend?
- Fine.

Did you, you know, see anyone?

Mm-hmm. Uh, let's see.

There was this
really interesting poet

a reporter
from "Rolling Stone"

um, a performance artist
and three quarters

of a string quartet.

Wow. You, you must have
your own 800 number.

[laughing]

- It was a party, Arvid.
- Oh.

But it was great.
What did you do?

Oh, uh, hey,
you know, I, I swung

with a pretty hip crowd myself.

He slept over at my place.

Math club had a party.

[laughing]

We did the
Pi R Square dance. Heh.

- Right.
- But, you know.

It turned into an all-nighter.

What a blast.

(Dennis)
'Oh, and you wanna hear
a blast?'

You oughta hear Arvid snore.

- Dennis, I do not snore.
- Oh, yes, you do.

- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.

- Do not. Do not too. Do not..
- Do too. Too! Too! Too!

Well, it's my word against
yours. You have no proof.

That's where you're wrong, pal.

- Dennis?
- Everybody..

If I can have
your attention, please.

I'd like to present our
very own Arvid Engen, snoring.

[snoring on stereo]

Arvid, when you get married,
make sure your wife

has earplugs.

Yeah, Arvid, that's quite
a horn you got on that face.

There's nothing wrong
with my horn.

Uh, my nose.

Oh, you're right, Arvid.
It, it's great.

Especially if you get
lost in a fog.

[bell ringing]

- Good morning.
- Hi, Mr. Moore.

Settle here, uh, today,
you know, we're gonna be

talking about
William Randolph Hearst

and the effect
of yellow journalism

on American politics.

[Arvid snoring on stereo]

Sorry, uh, I was trying
to rewind it.

- Uh, what was it?
- It was Arvid snoring.

Really? That was you, huh?

You know, you really
ought to see a doctor

about all that noise you make.

Alex. Everybody.

No, no, no.
It's-it's okay, Mr. Moore.

Why-why don't you
all just say it?

My-my no.. My nose is hideous.

A-and I should have
plastic surgery, okay?

I mean, l-let's face it.
I'm the Elephant Man.

- Ha-ha-ha-ha.
- 'Arvid.'

Arvid, you're by no stretch
the Elephant Man.

Yeah, Arvid.

The Elephant Man
never sounded like this.

[Arvid snoring on stereo]

[all laughing]

And so Hearst fanned
the flames of war

with inflammatory headlines
like, "Remember the Maine."

But in fact, from the beginning,
it was suspected

that the Spanish never attacked
the Maine, that it simply sunk

because of accidental
explosions. So..

[bell ringing]

See you tomorrow.

Arvid, uh..

Listen, uh, I-I-I hope
you weren't hurt by all that.

I mean, they are
just teasing you.

Oh, Mr. Moore,
they were right.

I hate my nose
more than they do.

They don't hate your nose.

Of course they do.

I mean, not only is it
hard to look at

apparently it can be used
to arouse geese.

Arvid, uh,
your nose is fine.

If you are worried about
your snoring, see a doctor.

You may have
a deviated septum.

Deviated septum?

Oh, well, perfect.
It even sounds nerdy.

Arvid, uh, all kinds of people

have deviated septums.

Oh, who besides dweebs,
geeks, and total losers?

- Me.
- 'Oh.'

Mr. Moore, I didn't mean
that you were a..

No, that's okay.
Just think about it.

Watch your step, okay?

[instrumental music]

- Hi.
- Oh!

- Sorry, I'll help you.
- Now, give me that.

- Don't-don't take that.
- What is this?

Give me that, give me that.
Hey, give me that!

Will you give me that?
I mean, will you..

Your new nose?

A guide to rhinoplasty?

[laughing]

Shut up!

A nose job.
You're gettin' a nose job.

I went to the doctor to see
about my deviated septum!

But he said as long
as he's workin' on my nose

I could get some cosmetic
sculpturing if I wanted.

[laughing]

I can't believe
you're getting a nose--

I'm not getting a nose job!

I haven't decided yet.

In fact, I'm probably
not gonna do it.

Then again, I might.

Arv, I like your nose.

Well, I think
you are the only one.

A girl like Viki
wouldn't look at me twice.

Oh, Arvid, she'd have
to look at you twice.

Just to see your whole nose.

Oh, lighten up, I'm kidding.

Dennis, listen.

This is extremely personal.

Do not say anything to anyone
under penalty of death.

Arvid, I'm your best friend.

[sighs]
I know. I know.

I will have you killed.

Jeez.

[clears throat]

- Hi, Viki.
- Oh, hi, Arvid.

Uh. Ahem.

Hey, Viki.

Oh, man, I love this outfit.

You do?

Yeah, I love
the clothes you wear.

I mean,
these are ripped here

and yesterday,
they were ripped over there.

I, I-I just love
the clothes you wear.

- Thanks, Eric.
- You're welcome.

Now, you put
all her outfits together

and I've seen her naked.

Eric, how do you do that?

Imagine her naked?

How could you not?

Get around
with girls like that.

Oh, it's easy, Arvid.
You could do it.

Not with this nose.

Oh, come on, Arvid,
you're makin' a mountain

out of a molehill.

Bad choice. Go ahead.
Give it a shot.

Hey, Viki.

Hello, Arvid.

I've got a present for you.

Can you guess what it is?

Uh..

A nose warmer.

[laughing]

A nose warmer.

[sighs]

Arvid, you coming to class?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[indistinct whispering]

- Uh, hi, guys.
- Hi, Arvid.

[sighs]

You told them, didn't you?

The public has
a right to know.

[all clamoring]

No, no, I am just
considering it.

- Wow.
- Arvid.

If it makes you
feel any better

I never thought
you had a big nose.

Really?

Thanks.

But then again, gee,
I never paid much attention.

- Look at this.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey..

[indistinct chatter]

- What's going on?
- Arvid's getting a nose job.

No, no, I am just
thinking about it!

Very well.

It's a, uh, personal decision.

So keep your noses
out of his, okay?

[bell ringing]

Okay, we continue tomorrow.
See you then.

Arvid.

You know, the last time
we discussed this, uh

you could barely bring
yourself to mention

deviated septums,
and now it seems

you're considering
plastic surgery.

Well, I-I'm not
definitely sure, Mr. Moore

but I've gotta do something.

I wanna be popular,
self-confident

and well, it'd be nice
if girls went crazy over me.

Most guys feel that way.

But, uh, do you really
think cosmetic surgery

is gonna cover all that?

Yes.

Well, you're asking
a lot out of your nose.

That's what I want, Mr. Moore.
A lot out of my nose.

You know, I get the feeling
you haven't really thought

this thing through.

Well, now you're saying
I shouldn't do it?

No.

I'm saying a nose job

will change the way you look

and it might
change the way you feel.

But you'll still be Arvid Engen.

There's no need
to be nasty, Mr. Moore.

[instrumental music]

♪ 19.9 Pi R Squared
on the wall ♪

♪ 19.9 Pi R Square ♪

♪ If one of those nine
should happen to fall ♪

♪ 16.8321 Pi R Squared
on the wall ♪

♪ 16.8321 Pi R Square.. ♪♪

Well, Arvid,
I've talked to your parents

and they said
you can make your own decision.

So, we can get started on the
septum and the rhinoplasty

as soon as the anesthesia
takes effect.

- You feeling a little woozy?
- Yeah.

- Little numb? Hmm.
- Little bit.

You know, I've been thinking.

What if I don't need a new nose?

Would you be terribly upset?

Of course not.

I mean, it was probably gonna
pay for your trip to Hawaii

or something,
and now I've let you down.

Not at all.
I just got back from Hawaii.

Oh, you look good.

Thanks. Look, don't worry.

It's perfectly normal to have
second thoughts about this.

That's true.

It is okay
to have second thoughts.

In fact, I'm having
second thoughts right now.

Okay. Just the deviated septum.

Not the new nose.

No, no, I mean-I mean
I'm having second thoughts

about the second thoughts.

- Oh, so you want the new nose.
- On second thought..

Arvid, look,
I understand your uncertainty.

I gotta have a decision.

You want the nose job or not?

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Arvid. Arvid. Arvid.

Arvid.

Oh. Go ahead. Take me.

But please, be gentle.

The only thing I'm gonna take
is your temperature.

I've never lost
a patient yet.

- Oh.
- I'm kidding, honey.

Oh, did I get it?
Did I get the nose job?

No, but you got a dinette set

and some lovely parting gifts.

Oh, I'm-I'm serious.
I can't remember!

You were there.

I was in a linen closet
with an orderly.

I'm just kidding. We run
a clean shop here, sweetheart.

Maybe you should call
Dr. Cranburg in the morning.

I-in the morning?
Why can't I talk to him now?

Oh, no. He's in
a major consultation.

The, the whole office is a buzz.

The entire Jackson family
wants their old faces back.

Nothing, alright, here we go.

Wait, wait.
They can do that?

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Why are you so serious?

What's the point
of worrying anyway?

It's too late.

Either you'll end up
looking gorgeous

or you'll look like
one of the "Garbage Pail Kids."

- Oh.
- Here we go.

- You're kidding ,right?
- No.

[instrumental music]

Hello, hello.
Dr. Cranburg, please.

What? He's in surgery.

My God! Is he okay?

Oh! Oh, right. I'm sorry.
He's the surgeon..

Um, li-listen, I-I wonder..
Ne-never-never mind.

I'll-I'll call back later.

[sighs]

Hey, Arvid.
How did everything come off?

Well, Mr. Moore,
I'm not sure!

They took care
of the deviated septum

but I don't know
if I had the plastic surgery.

You don't know?

Well, I remember telling
the doctor all the reasons

I wanted to have it done.

But I also remember telling him
I wasn't a 100 percent sure.

And then I went under.

I don't remember
the final decision.

Well, only you, Arvid.

Anyway, I hope you're happy
with whatever is under there.

Yeah.
Look, I mean, ab-absolutely.

Mr. Moore, if my nose is
smaller, I'll be better-looking

and-and people won't tease me
for being so vain.

And-and chorus girls
and-and backup singers

will, will
throw themselves at me.

What kind of life is that,
huh?

Yeah. What if it's the same?

Well, uh, I'll have the comfort
of returning to what I know.

Mathematics, solitude and plenty
of very humorous nasal quips.

You know, Arvid, uh,
you're the only one

who seems to think
you have a large nose.

Large, Mr. Moore, I'll be
the only one in the yearbook

with a pop-up photo.

I mean, you don't know
what it's like.

Girls I, I wouldn't
look twice at

wouldn't-wouldn't look
twice at me.

Are you listening to yourself?

You know, your problem
is not your nose.

I know, I know,
now that my nose is smaller

my ears will be
much more prominent.

You know, I-I'll look
like a Volkswagen

with the doors left open.

Arvid, your problem
is not your ears either.

It's what's between 'em.

A bad haircut?

[indistinct chatter]

That's what she said.

Oh, wow, Arvid.
You really went through with it.

- Yeah.
- I think that's wonderful.

Well, a-actually,
I'm not entirely--

Oh, Arvid, I can't wait to see
what your new nose looks like.

I bet it's gonna look
fabulous.

- Yeah.
- Really? You think?

Well-well-well,
you see, you see--

Boy, Arvid, that really
took a lot of nerve.

- It sure did.
- Oh, yeah.

- You think so?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- You see, the truth is--

I'm trying to picture you
with a little button nose.

Maybe, you.. Dude, you could
be the next Shirley Temple.

- Oh.
- No, no.

I won't know exactly un-until
the, the, swelling goes down.

You know, you got a lot of guts
because I'd be afraid

to do something like that.

[all clamoring]

You know what, Arvid, you're
not a total wimp after all.

Yeah.

[bell ringing]

Um, Arvid, what do you think?

Should I have my lips enlarged?

- Yeah, Arvid.
- What do you think about that?

Oh, well, you know. Ahem.

I was looking
through the book of lips

at Dr. Cranburg's office.

- And, uh--
- Yeah.

Well, in my professional
opinion, Simone

I think you should go for it.

I mean, look what thick lips
have done for Mick Jagger.

[indistinct chatter]

And-and-and not only that,
Simone.

You know what I think,
what else you might--

Calling Dr. Engen,
Dr. Arvid Engen.

Office hours are over.

We can start the class.

Uh, right.
Go right ahead.

[instrumental music]

- Hi, Viki.
- Hi, Arvid.

Hey. Nice outfit.

I like those rips.

You know, if you put
all your outfits together

I have seen you naked.

- Hey.
- Arvid.

You're so cute.

Yeah, well..

Hey, you know, uh,
we're all going out after school

to celebrate my new nose.

- You coming?
- Of course.

Great.
And wear something ripped.

Arvid.

Yes! Yes! Yes.

What? What? What?

- Oh, hi, Mr. Moore.
- Hi.

Well, sleeve's all wet

but you seem to be
in a good mood.

[laughing]
I know.

Well, ever since
I got this nose job

I feel so much more confident.

You did get it then.

What, you talked to your doctor
during lunch hour, or..

Oh, well, we haven't made
personal contact

but I-I know that I must've
gone through with it

because, I mean, I-I suddenly
feel like a, a totally

different person.
I mean like, boom! Ah.

But you don't know.

Well, uh, technically, no.

Well, uh, maybe you should try
calling him again.

- Yeah.
- Now.

Good idea. In fact,
thanks for reminding me.

- Sure.
- I'll do that right now.

[instrumental music]

[bell ringing]

Okay, re-written letters
of recommendation tomorrow

please, okay?

Arvid.

Listen, uh, I'm a little
worried about this

nose business, you know.

I'm, I'm concerned
there might be complications.

Complications?
What complications?

Well, you've been wearing
this bandage for a week now.

I mean, people in full body
casts heal faster.

Well, hey, uh,
I've been so busy, Mr. Moore.

I haven't had a chance
to get to the doctor.

Oh, well, I think I know
what's really going on here.

[sighs]

You see, it's just..

Ever since I got back
from the hospital

everyone has been
so nice to me.

And why do you think that is?

Because I look good.

Half of your face
is hidden behind this bandage.

Well, I-I-I mean,
I feel like I look good.

I'm-I'm much more confident.

People like me.

I-I can't take it off now.

Well, you can't hide
behind it forever.

Why not? It worked
for the "Phantom Of The Opera."

Oh, at the end,
the mask comes off.

Yeah, and look what happened.
He got lynched by an angry mob.

Arvid!

Showtime.

[sighs]

Okay.

What if I didn't
get the nose job?

I mean, what if it
still looks the same?

What if it looks worse?

[sighs]

'Mr. Moore, what's wrong?'

Nothing. Nothing.

(Arvid)
'How do I look?'

- Fine. I gotta go.
- 'What's the matter?'

Oh, my God,
it's a monster!

[screaming]

[indistinct shouting]

What the hell
is going on over here?

Do not look at Arvid!

I repeat, do not look at Arvid!

[siren blaring]

I can't do it!

What if I look ridiculous?

Well, Arvid, uh,
walking around school

with this bandage hanging
half on and half off your face

looks fairly ridiculous.

[sighs]
Alright.

How does it look?

It looks terrific.

Really?

I've been carrying this
with me just in case.

Mm-hmm. Careful. Easy.

Hey.

Wait a minute.
This is my old nose.

You said I looked terrific.

Yeah, you do look terrific.

You always have.

No, I, uh, I don't.
I hate this nose.

[scoffs]
I, I don't believe you, Arvid.

Well, on the operating table

you chose to stay
with this nose.

I mean, this is the nose
you chose.

Now, it must be
the one you want.

[sighs]
Yeah, well, what do I know?

I also chose this shirt.

[sighs]
Mr. Moore,
I'm gonna be humiliated.

Everyone is gonna laugh at me.

Oh, come on, Arvid.

People like you.

I don't think they really care
about your nose that much

one way or the other.

What if you're wrong?

Well, what if I'm right?

[instrumental music]

I'll get you the money.

- Hey, Arv.
- Okay, Dennis.

What do you think?

Think about what?

Me. How do I look?

[scoffs]
I've told you a 1000 times.

Lose this shirt.

Dennis. My nose.

Oh, you got your bandage off.

- So?
- So?

So?

Oh. Oh, lemme see.
Lemme see.

Gee, I don't know, Arvid.
It looks the same to me.

I think your nose doctor
needs an eye doctor.

Dennis, I didn't get
the nose job.

So, you're just gonna have
to get used to me like this.

[chuckles]
I am used to you like this.

I never cared how it looked,
just how it sounded.

- Hi, Arvid.
- Oh.

Arvid, you look ridiculous.

I know. There's nothing
I can do about it.

I was born this way.

You were born
with your head in your locker?

Alright. Take your best shot.

Shot at what?

I got my bandage off.

Oh, yeah.
The nose job looks good.

I didn't get a nose job.

I-I just let
everyone believe that I had.

I guess I just enjoyed
all the attention, so..

I'm sorry I toyed
with your emotions.

Here I am, mega honker and all.

Arvid, it looks good to me.

Mr. Moore,
Viki didn't even notice.

Didn't notice what?

She.. Right.

Hey, Mr. Moore, uh,
what do you say at lunch

I buy you a soda
in the cafeteria?

We could celebrate
my new-old nose.

Sure.

You can actually drink
out of a can around that thing?

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

[theme music]