All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S04E05_2

[theme music]

[laughing]

Have you guys decided
on the project yet?

Yeah,
we're studying food intake.

Hamster A eats on demand.
Hamster B eats on schedule.

[chuckles]

This is good. What is it?

Hamster kibble.

Tasted okay to me.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have this tremendous urge

to go to sleep
on a pile of wood shavings.

What are you guys doing?

Alan and I
are researching the mathematics

of the ancient Aztec calendar.

Did you know that today
is third day of [indistinct]

Oh, so what does that mean?

I think it means
we have to sacrifice a virgin.

[bell ringing]

Dennis, did you hear
some of those lame projects?

They're not gonna
be able to touch us.

That is when we come up
with a project.

If we come up with a project.

How about an experiment
involving molecular spin

and the components
of the atom?

- Nah. Kids' stuff.
- Ki..

Alright, alright, how about
an experiment to substantiate

the Big Bang Theory
of the creation of the universe?

Nah. Come on, Arvid.
We gotta think bigger.

Bigger? Bigger?

There he is.
The funny-looking one.

Could you be
a little more specific?

Yeah, the one
without the glasses.

(Arvid)
'Okay. Well, what do you
wanna do for the project?'

- Well, we could--
- Blunden. I wanna talk to you.

Look, I get my allowance
on Saturday.

I promise
you'll be paid back first.

Wait a second. Do I know you?

I'm Louise Maitland.

I'm the person who uses
your lab table every day

fourth period and get stuck
cleaning up the mess you leave.

Well, thanks.
You're doing a fine job.

No, thank you.

Here's a little token
of my appreciation.

Ooh. My God.

This smells like rotten eggs.
What is it?

Rotten eggs.

It's your lunch
from last Tuesday.

Wow, can you believe that, uh

that pushy, uh,
obnoxious, nauseating--

- Cute.
- Cute person. Cute?

Yeah.

[instrumental music]

So, sometimes when it comes
to historical events

the people who were actually
there were the last

to realize
the historical significance.

Say, uh, it's June 28, 1914.

You're in town
for the big parade.

Sarajevo is jumping

and you hear this loud sound,
a bang!

And do you think

"Well,
it's just a car backfiring?"

Or do you think "Wait,
that might just be the gunshot

that will start something
called World War I?"

Woodstock.

I mean, I thought
I was going to a concert.

And I didn't realize
I would be attending

a water shed event
that would define my generation.

You were at Woodstock?

Yeah. I, I stayed awake
for three days in a row.

You saw Sha Na Na live?

Did you get naked?

Well, I,
I don't really know for sure.

[bell ringing]

See you later.

- Alright, I got it.
- What?

For our science project,
we'll study the effects

of sleep deprivation.

- How are we gonna do that?
- Gotta get a rat.

[instrumental music]

Uh, excuse me, Dr. Samuels.

We were wondering
if you could help us

with our science project.

Well, certainly, son.

I was quite a science maven
when I was a lad.

Now, how can I help you?

Uh, go without sleep
for three days in a row.

No problem.

- Great.
- Thanks.

Once I get my eight hours
at night, I'll be fine.

[instrumental music]

Nice job. You missed a spot.

It says, "Blunden
is a toxic waste chump."

I tried.
I couldn't get that off.

I used indelible ink.

Ever tried disappearing ink?

Will it work on you?

[chuckles]

Were you just born this way

or were you raised by piranhas?

You've been a lovely contestant.

Now, why don't you take
your parting gifts

and go annoy someone else?

No, you go annoy someone else.

I got important things to do.

Oh, like when you told
the freshman class

it was underwear
on the head day?

I thought that was pretty funny.

So did I.

You did?

Yeah, in an asinine way.

[instrumental music]

- Morning, Dr. Samuels.
- Ha.

- I said, "Good morning."
- You did?

Yes. Then you said, "Ha."

Please, don't play games,
Miss Meara.

I didn't sleep all night.

- I'm sorry. Indigestion?
- Hmm. Not this time.

Engen and Blunden asked me
to volunteer

for their
sleep deprivation project.

It got me to thinking

exactly how do I get to sleep?

I was up all night
thinking about that.

How about some coffee?

No, thanks.
I'll just have some coffee.

So once again
we see that corruption

transcends mere political
party allegiances.

And in fact.. Hi. How are you?

In fact, people who never
would've been eligible

seem to be getting
these sweetheart deals

from the Department of Housing
and Urban Development.

Also known as the welfare agency
for the rich and greedy.

Well, at least
we're givin' money to people

who know what to do with it.

Alan, that's just like you.

Your lips are flappin',
but your brain is nappin'.

Mr. Moore, do I have to sit here

and be insulted
by Mrs. Yahoo Serious?

Yeah. Go ahead.

Alan, wh-why don't you check out

the Port Authority Bus Terminal
at 1:00 in the morning

when the stairwells
are jam-packed

with people looking for any
kind of warm place to crash?

T.J. brings up
a very interesting point.

What does it mean
to call our economy healthy

when more people
than ever before are living

below the poverty line?

You getting all those stuffs?

Mm-hmm. Poverty. Bad.

Yeah. Nice little hearts
and bunnies though.

- I'm a little distracted.
- Mm-hmm.

[bell ringing]

Well, this is still
a serious subject, Dennis.

In fact, uh, I'd like
an essay from each of you

on this subject
by Monday, alright?

I'll give you
an essay on poverty

and it won't be from a library.

I know people who are homeless.

Okay. Do it. See you then.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Mr. Moore?

You know, uh, Louise Maitland?

Yeah, she's in my third period
history class.

Yeah.

Well, I think I'm about to make
a little history of my own.

I think she likes me.

- Hence the hearts and bunnies.
- Right.

- So?
- So?

Why would she like me?

What do you think her game is,
Mr. Moore?

Do you think she wants
to borrow money from me, or, uh

maybe she wants to steal
the science project idea--

I, I don't think
she's that kind of girl.

A guy can't be too careful.

Well, uh, why not just relax
and see where it takes you?

This could be it.

You see, I've never had
a steady girlfriend before.

From what I've heard,
you've never had a date before.

Thank you for pointing that out.

She is special.

We're great together.

I mean, who would've thought
that my first girlfriend

could end up being the future
Mrs. Dennis Blunden?

Wait. One day at a time, okay?

Um, why not start
by asking her out on a date?

A date?

Why didn't I think of that?

[instrumental music]

Hey, Maitland, hangin' out
with all your friends?

No, I'm entertaining
your fan club.

So, what do annoying people
do on the weekends?

I don't know. You tell me.

I don't know, in your case,
maybe you'd go to a movie

'cause it would be dark
and no one could tell

you don't have a date.

Yeah, sure.
Like you always have a date.

Hey, the only reason I don't
is because my taste in movies

happens to run a little too
sophisticated for the masses.

Oh, what?
Like "Planet Of The Apes?"

No, my favorite happens to be

"Escape From Planet
Of The Apes."

Do you know
it's playing at the Film--

Film Farm at 7:00. Yeah.

I was thinking of going.

Yeah, I-I, I might stop by.

I, I guess we could go together?

- I guess we could.
- Where do you live?

Look, why don't we just meet out
in front of the theatre, okay?

- Fine.
- Fine.

I'm, uh, looking forward to it.

Me too.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Bye.

I did it!

I have the first date
of my entire life!

- That's nice.
- "Nice?" It's fantastic!

Well..

Oh, we're just good friends.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

- Morning, Dennis.
- Oh, hi, Louise.

[chuckles]

Dennis.

Is this your idea of cute?

A rubber hand
with a dead flower in it?

So what do you do for an encore?

How about this?

Does this squirt?

[chuckles]
No. Just don't get
too attached to it.

I've gotta get it
back to the hospital

before mom misses it.

- You're kidding.
- Yes, I'm kidding.

Uh, listen, uh, Louise..

...there's somethin'
I forgot to do this weekend.

- What?
- Um..

- You forgot?
- I, uh, didn't have the guts.

Aww.

[applauding]

What did she do, Dennis?
Swallow a quarter?

[laughing]

Darlene, stop it.

I think they're just adorable.

It's like an ad
for breath mints.

Oh, thank you. Thank you all
very much. Show's over.

Bye, Louise.

(all)
Bye, Louise.

Well, Dennis, if you're
quite through osculating..

...we've gotta talk.

Yeah, Arvid. What's up?

Our time is up. Our science
project's due in a few days.

We don't even know
what it is yet.

Just relax.
I've been kinda busy.

So we noticed.

Dennis, maybe you should
slow down a little.

- Why?
- Well..

What do you really
know about her?

Where does she live?

I don't know.
We always meet somewhere.

Dennis,
something's not right about her.

For example,
have you ever noticed

the clothes that she wears?

Yeah, she wears skirts
and T-shirts. So what?

Yeah, Dennis, practically
the same ones every day.

Yeah, she did something
really weird last week.

She took food home
from the cafeteria.

I mean, who do you know
who takes school food home?

You know, Richie Jio Donald
used to go out with her.

Till we saw her
get out of a parked car

at 6:00 in the morning.

Richie Jio Donald's on parole.

Why should I believe
anything he has to say?

Yeah, Dennis is right,
and besides I like Louise.

Well, we're only concerned
about you, Dennis.

Yeah.

[instrumental music]

- Hi, Charlie.
- Hi.

Oh, I'm gonna need your grade
for Louise Maitland.

- Okay.
- She's cute, isn't she?

Yeah, she's cute.

Dennis Blunden's
crazy about her.

Well, I hope he's not too crazy.

Of course, too crazy. Why?

Well, her dad just called.
She's transferring out of state.

Okay, okay,
you just tighten this down.

And there you go.

A fully operational mouse-sized

sensory deprivation chamber.

You know, it's an honor having
a future Nobel Prize winner

help me build a rat motel.

It's what I live for.

Hey, uh, Louise

what do you say I come over
to your house tonight

and help you study
for your science test?

Yeah. We could do that.

Or better yet,
I'll come over to yours.

No, I, I really wanted
to meet your parents.

Uh, I promise no armpit noises.

Dennis, I think
maybe we've been spending

too much time together.

W-wait-wait,
what are you talking about?

I just,
I wanna be honest with you.

I think we've been getting
too close too fast.

Well, yeah, but, you know

that's what being
in love's all about.

Getting too close too fast.

I just can't handle that,
Dennis.

Oh. I see, I see.

You're, uh, dumping me.

I didn't say that.

Well, you didn't say,
"Let's spend the rest

of our lives together," either.

There are some things
you just don't understand.

[scoffs]
Yeah, like what I ever
saw in you in the first place.

[instrumental music]

Louise.

Changed your locker
so you could avoid me?

Dennis, this isn't
a good time, okay?

Speakin' of good times,
did you have one last night?

Last night?
Last night I helped T.J.

write a paper for Mr. Moore.

Oh, is that what
you were doing at that hotel?

Or-or maybe you were just
doing your research there?

- You followed me?
- Maybe.

You had no right to follow me.

You're still following me.

You met someone else.
I saw you. You met some guy.

Oh, so you naturally
thought that--

You went in with him,
didn't you?

What do you expect me to think?

Do you know what kind of people
live in places like that?

Yes, I do.

Hey, uh, Dennis,
I'd like to talk to you

about Louise Maitland.

Forget about Louise. I have.

Well, you guys were right.

About what, Dennis?

About Louise.

I followed her home last night.

I don't wanna go into details

but let's just say
she's no good.

So you guys happy?

That's too bad, man. At least,
you found out sooner than later.

No good?
You're no good, Blunden.

I wouldn't jump
to conclusions, Dennis.

I saw with my own eyes.

She went into a seedy hotel
with some guy.

Some guy?

Did this guy have
brown hair, glasses

and a Metallica T-shirt?

- Yeah.
- You jerk.

That was her brother.

[bell ringing]

Look, uh,
why don't we just get started?

T.J., I'd like you
to read your report.

You got it.

"What it's like
to be homeless?"

Wait a minute.
T.J. isn't homeless.

Yeah, Mr. Moore,
do we have to listen--

Whoa. Read on.

First, the statistics.

"The National Coalition
on the homeless says

"there are about three million
homeless people in America.

"According to New York City's
Homeless Services

"about 27,000 people
are given shelter every night.

"One of those people
is my friend.

"She and her family
are homeless.

"Oh, they have a roof
over their heads

"but it's a roof
of a welfare hotel.

'"And a place
you hardly call a real home.'

"For her, bein' home is just
bein' uprooted every few weeks

"as you're moved from shelter
to shelter, if you're lucky.

"For her, bein' homeless
means bein' a 17-year-old girl

"who thinks a change of clothes
is a luxury, security a joke

and a steady boyfriend
an impossibility."

Mr. Moore.

'"Just because
someone sleeps on the sidewalk'

doesn't mean that's where
they choose to sleep."

Louise.

Louise, I'm sorry.
I didn't know.

Yeah. So?

Y-you could've told me.

You don't have to be
ashamed of your family.

Ashamed? The last thing
I'm ashamed of is my family.

I-I'm sorry.
I, I meant your predicament.

Yeah, well, my father lost
his job and then he got sick

so he doesn't have
medical insurance.

It busted us.

My mother,
she tried working part-time

but you can't support
a family on minimum wage.

So we ended up living in our car

and now, we live in a shelter.

And now we're moving again.

You see, my dad might get
this job in Akron so..

So...you're leaving.

Just like that.

Just like that.

I had a good time
with you and..

It took my mind off
a lot of stuff.

For a while it was almost
like having a normal life.

Oh, come on, Louise.

Th-th-there's gotta be
something we can do.

I'm gonna miss you, Blunden.

Goodbye.

[sighs]
Hi.

- She left.
- I know.

- Wish I were dead.
- Dennis.

Mr. Moore,
you don't understand this time.

A terrible thing has happened
to me. This is really awful.

Well, let-let's look
at what happened.

Now, you went out on a date.

And you discovered
that you were...lovable.

And, and then she left.

I know that. It's not helping.

Let's just face it, Mr. Moore.

My life is a disaster.

Your life? Your life
is not a disaster, Dennis.

Hers is.

If you're trying
to make me feel better

you're doin' a lousy job.

Dennis, if you wanna feel
better, go home and listen

to Frank Sinatra records.

I-if you wanna feel good

try doing something
about all this.

Nothing I can do is gonna
bring Louise back here..

Oh, y-you're talking
about changing the world, right?

Well, maybe just one little
bit of it, yeah.

Yeah, well, I-I'm not good
at stuff like that.

[scoffs]
There are a lot
of people who are, Dennis.

You could help them.

You know, there are volunteer
groups, church organizations.

A lot of people are trying
to help the homeless.

Now, you could...lobby Congress.

You could put pressure
on City Hall.

I mean, you're the guy
that led the big

cafeteria food revolt last year.

Come on, Dennis. You're smart.

Find out what you can do.

I mean, none of it is
gonna bring Louise back.

But at least
you'd be working on something

other than a broken heart.

- I can try.
- Yeah.

Thanks. Thank you.

Thanks for the beans.

Dennis. Here.

Arvid, Arvid, they're homeless,
not tasteless.

There are homeless nerds too,
you know.

Thanks, Arvid.

Dr. Samuels, you wanna donate
something for the homeless?

Sure. Do you realize
I haven't slept in a week?

Well, at least you know
where you can't sleep.

You-you haven't slept,
Dr. Samuels, how do you feel?

- I'm hallucinating.
- 'You are?'

I keep seeing my wife in a tub

full of Jell-O
playing submarine.

"Dive!

Whoop, whooka, whooka!"

I got pains in my arms,
in my legs, in my hair.

- Hair.
- Hair.

[theme music]