All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S03E21_2

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[instrumental music]

Arvid, have you decided
what elective

you're gonna take
this semester?

Yup.
Triangular matrix equations.

No, you're not, Arvid,
the purpose of an elective

is to delve into a new
and totally unknown field.

- Yeah?
- So?

What's that unknown field
into which

we've always wanted to delve?

- He-he-he.
- Well..

Yeah!

Uh, wa-wait a minute, Dennis.

I don't think
that's on the course list.

No, but home ec is.

What? Home ec?

Why-why would we want
to take that? It's for girls.

Oh, right.

I'd just like to say that
I think the board of education

is pretty darn reasonable.

So let's stop all this
Gloomy-Gus strike talk, huh?

I mean, we don't
have to have a raise.

And I think we all can live
with one little rollback.

The important thing is..

...we've got our health.

We better. Soon we won't have
any health insurance.

Which is why we gotta strike!

No, no, wait, wait.

- Strike, strike, strike.
- Wait, wait, wait.

I'm sorry, but as your
elected union rep

before I go
to the negotiating committee

and say that this chapter
wants to strike

I think that we should
investigate some alternatives

that are
a little less disruptive.

Right, right.

How about a sternly worded
letter to "The Times?"

But I-I was thinking more of,
uh, a work slowdown.

Let's say that we withhold

all of our extra-curricular
activities.

Uh, no more club supervision.

No more tutoring.

Uh, Dr. Samuels wants

all this paperwork done, fine.

We do it only during
school hours.

Smarten up, Charlie.

A work slowdown?
We'll lose our jobs.

We're gonna be cashing
in aluminum cans.

I think it's a great way
of gettin' our ideas across.

- Let's do it, Charlie.
- Thank you.

Wait, I've got it.

How about buttons
that say "Unfair"?

How about I take your face
and move it--

No, no, Ms. Collingwood.

[instrumental music]

Darlene, let's get together
this week

and study for the advance
placement history test.

Well, I don't think
that's really

gonna be necessary, Maria.

I mean, we're gonna review
all the material

we've covered in history class.

Yeah, I mean,
we should be prepared

just by listening to Mr. Moore.

Exactly.

[school bell ringing]

- Mr. Moore?
- Hmm?

- Don't you wanna get started?
- Yes.

Sorry, we've got a mountain
of material to cover today.

Tell us about it.
So, uh, what's first?

- Yeah!
- Well, first, uh..

How many people here
drink milk with lunch

at least twice a week?

'Show of hands. Yeah.'

This ought to be good.

I can't wait to see
how he ties it in

with the Spanish-American war.

Okay, uh, how many drink
chocolate milk?

Mr. Moore, what does this
have to do with history?

- Yeah?
- Nothing.

This is a student nutrition

evaluation report 629/R.

So, how many of you
eat the crackers

that come with the soup?

(all)
Dennis.

Mr. Moore, uh, we have that test
next week to review for.

[indistinct chatter]

I-I-I'm sorry.

I'd like to be
able to help you, but, uh..

...the, uh, school board hasn't
budged, so, until that changes

we teachers are trying
to complete all of our paperwork

during school hours,
so if-if I can finish this

well, maybe we'll have some time
before the end of class.

Well, then we can get together

after school
for special tutoring?

- That's a good idea.
- 'Uh..'

No, uh, we-we can
no longer involve ourselves

in extra-curricular
activities either.

But what about us?

We have to do well
on these tests.

Our futures
are on the line here.

(all)
Yeah, Mr. Moore.

Can't you bend the rules
a little bit, Mr. Moore?

Yeah, just a little.

I-I-I would like to,
believe me, but, uh..

...I gotta stand by my union.

[instrumental music]

Dennis, where's the rest
of your lunch?

Very funny.
This stuff's for home ec class.

The teacher won't go
to the market

'cause of the work slowdown

so guess who gets picked
to go to the food barn.

Why do you have to buy
the giant sizes of everything?

Because ounce for ounce,
they're cheaper.

Fine, then you explain
to the class

what we're doing with
a five-pound tub of chutney.

I had a coupon.

And besides, look..

It came with a free
Flintstone glass.

I would be a fool
to pass this up.

This is a nightmare.

Oh, come on, Dennis, at least
you get to meet girls, right?

Oh, yeah, right, when they're
not too busy yelling at me

for overbeating my egg whites.

That's because you set
your mixer on the puree setting.

Shut up.

Oh, and on top of everything
else, for our homework

we gotta bake something.

Oh, and-and, Dennis, next time

make sure they double bag you.

What is the difference?

That's the difference.

[instrumental music]

Things get ugly, Miss Meara.

Management may have
to fill in for the teachers.

So you'll be teaching
freshman English and metal shop.

Metal shop?

You mean with welding
and riveting and banging?

Wear the safety goggles,
you'll be fine.

Dr. Samuels, why can't
the janitor teach metal shop?

No, I've got him down
for modern dance.

- Why?
- 'Cause that's what he wanted.

Please, let's not mess
with the janitor's--

- Dr. Samuels--
- What do you want?

Uh, I wanted to give you these.

Oh, petition
from the faculty, huh? Ha-ha.

Well, here's what I think of
your petitions, Comrade Moore.

Well, actually, those were
your surveys and questionnaires.

What!
You see what you made me do?

I'm supposed to send these
through the proper channels.

You just did.

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[school bell ringing]

- Good morning.
- Good morning, sir.

Um, Mr. Moore, are you all
caught up in your paperwork?

- Yes, I am.
- Oh, great.

Are you sure you don't want
our inseams or dental records?

No, thanks, uh, but I would
like you to settle down

because I need to talk
to all of you.

Oh, great, at least we have
a couple of days to review then.

Yeah, maybe if we really
hit the books

we'll be able to catch up.

So what are you gonna
teach us today, Mr. Moore?

Nothing.

- What?
- 'Nothing?'

You said you finished
all your paperwork.

Mr. Moore, come on.

We've had enough
of this strike stuff.

We are here to learn.

[all clamoring]

Normally, I'd be ready
to work with you.

But, uh, the teachers union
took a vote last night

and until the school board
is willing to return

to the negotiating table,
a work stoppage is in effect.

So does that mean
you can't teach?

It's precisely
what it means. Yes.

- What? Come on.
- Mr. Moore, this is unfair.

- You can't do this.
- Yeah, Mr. Moore.

Yes, it is unfair,
and yes, I can do it

so, I'd suggest you, uh, find
something constructive to do

during the remainder
of the period.

I'm sorry.

[instrumental music]

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Hmm, poached salmon
with dill sauce.

And you know
what would be good with that?

A nice lobster bisque.

What do you think?

I think if I hear you say
"Bisque" or "Fondue"

or "Finely chopped nut meats"
one more time

I'm gonna use your tongue
as a scouring pad.

You're just upset 'cause
you got a D on your gravy.

Hey...lay off my gravy.
I told you those weren't lumps.

[sighs]
Oh, give it up, Dennis.

There's no such thing
as a gravy ball.

Oh, yeah?

Fellas, do you mind
exchanging your recipes

a little more quietly?
Some people are trying to study.

Sorry.

Too bad some people
aren't trying to teach.

[all booing]

Mr. Moore, don't you care
about us at all?

Yes, I do, but when you
believe in a cause

you sometimes
have to make sacrifices.

Oh, great,
so you're sacrificing us.

- Yeah.
- Well, it..

It'd be nice if you could see
that this strike issue

is larger than how it affects
you personally.

You're the one
who's gonna get more money.

- Yeah!
- Right.

Yeah, well, maybe.

Uh, perhaps even a living wage.

That's so selfish of us.

Oh, just forget about it,
Mr. Moore.

I mean, we got a test
to study for.

Maybe one of us
should do your job.

- Yeah!
- You're welcome to try.

Might be interesting.

Okay, I'll teach.

Everybody open your book
to chapter seven, please.

You too. Eric, you wanna sit
like a human being?

Wait a minute, who said
you could be the teacher?

- Yeah, Dennis.
- Who said you could teach?

Why shouldn't I be the teacher?

Well, for one thing, Dennis,
it was my idea.

- Yeah, that's right.
- Yeah.

But I got a higher
grade point average than you do.

Well, now, let's not
act like children.

Let's decide this intelligently.

- Fine.
- Who wants Dennis to teach?

- Huh.
- Mm-hmm.

And who wants me to teach?

Well, fine.
Does somebody else wanna teach?

[all clamoring]

What's going on here?

Rabble rousing again, Mr. Moore?

Next, you'll have them singing
Woody Guthrie songs.

Dr. Samuels,
you have to do something.

If we don't get
a real teacher in here

we're gonna die on that test.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

You've got one.

I'm going to teach you.

I may even teach a little
teaching, while I'm at it.

The blackboard is all yours.

Then stand back
and eat my chalk dust.

Alright.

What were they studying?

Uh, The Crittenden Compromise
of 1860.

Okay, let's talk about
Christopher Columbus.

Dr. Samuels,
that sounds a little basic.

This is gonna be
an advanced history test.

- Right.
- Don't worry!

You know, Mr. Moore
isn't the only person

who can make
history interesting.

For instance,
how many of you know

Christopher Columbus
was a bum?

(all)
What?

Well, he borrowed money
from a woman to build his boats.

He didn't know
where he was going.

When he got there,
he didn't know where he was.

And when he got home,
he lied about where he'd been.

[chuckles]

[instrumental music]

- Dorfman.
- What do you want?

You wanna sign this petition?

I don't agree
with the negotiating committee.

This work stoppage,
how can I put it diplomatically?

Sucks mud.

Well, sure, I'll sign.

I couldn't agree with you more.

This is great!

Charlie's a good man,
it's just, uh..

He's never been in the service,
if you catch my drift.

- Yeah.
- Thanks, Dorfman.

If this petition works, we're
gonna start a wild cat strike.

Total walkout.

Picket lines, baseball bats,
slash tires, the works.

Your name is gonna be on
the hit list of every principal

in New York City.

That's what I signed?

Yes, sir.

Oh, my God!

Wait!

Wow, Arvid,
where'd you get that cake?

I made it for home ec.

I call it, Arvid's chocolate,
raspberry relativity tort.

- What do you think?
- It's fabulous.

Yeah, that is an incredible
likeness of Einstein.

(Arvid)
Well, thanks.

And it took me all night.

Oh, Dennis,
where's your project?

Oh, I've got it.
Beef Rib Tips Bourguignon.

Wow!
Well, how did you make that?

Oh, it's easy.

"Remove cover, pull tab."

Dennis, you'd better come up
with something else

or Mrs. Rinkoff is gonna
make you wash dishes again.

She can't make me wash 'em
if she can't find 'em.

What did you do with them?

Ugh!

Phew!

[Arvid exhales]

Oh, Den, oh.

[instrumental music]

That's it, it's over.
We're finished.

We don't have a prayer on the
advanced placement history test.

And it's not our fault.

Why should we be the ones

who get hurt
by the stupid strike?

- Yeah!
- I'll tell you why.

'Cause their union
is so greedy.

Mr. Moore,
why don't the teachers

just take their paychecks,
and stop ruining our lives.

(all)
Yeah!

You know, it-it's not
as simple as that.

You know, Mr. Moore, nobody
forced you to take this job.

- That's right.
- That's right.

With all the people
out of work

you should be happy
to even have a job.

Yeah, you know, I'm beginning
to think that Alan was right

all along about unions.

- You mean it?
- Yeah!

Would anyone like to hear
my opinions on Roe versus Wade?

(all)
No!

[school bell ringing]

Okay, you want me to teach,
I'll teach.

You're kidding, what will
the union say about that?

Oh, under these circumstances,
I think it'll be okay.

- 'Oh, great.'
- 'Oh, great.'

Alright, I'd like each of you

to remove one shoe.

Okay, Mr. Moore, but if this
is for another survey

I can tell you right now,
most of us have two feet.

I want you to look at the shoe.

See if you can tell me

how it is responsible
for your well-being.

Okay, 1794.

Federal society of cordwainers
is founded.

Does anybody know
what a cordwainer is?

- A shoemaker.
- Exactly.

Now, in those days,
at the beginning

of the industrial revolution

entire industries
were founded on child labor.

Not just making shoes,
but in coal mines

in textile mills,
garment sweatshops.

You could find six-year-olds,
working for ten cents a day.

And often, four-year-olds,
were used to clean and oil

heavy machinery.

Well, how could anyone do that
to a four-year-old?

- Yeah!
- Simple, it's expedient.

Small child, fits very nicely
into a large machine.

But occasionally somebody
loses a finger or a hand

or even a life,
but business is business.

Business as usual.

Now, in 1799..

...the cordwainers
led the first strike

in an attempt to change things.

They were America's
first labor union.

And you know
what they were arrested for?

- 'What?'
- 'What's that?'

Criminal conspiracy
to increase wages.

- Oh, my God!
- This is terrible!

Yeah, well, by the 20th century

things had changed considerably.

At that point,
management was using the militia

or law enforcement
to shoot striking workers

including children.

- What?
- What?

So you see,
if it weren't for the shoe

and a lot of people
who made very real sacrifices

most of you would probably
be working in a sweatshop

somewhere,
minus a few fingers.

And I hope you all do very well
on your tests tomorrow.

What are we supposed
to do with our shoes?

Maybe we can fit them
in our mouths.

Okay, Mr. Moore, maybe there
were horror stories back then

but what does that have to do
with the teacher strike today?

I mean, it's not like
you're trying to keep kids

from being abused.

- Yes, we are in a way.
- What kids?

Well, you and,
and every kid in school.

You deserve the best education
that money can buy. No..

I know teachers, who've been
working for ten, fifteen years

they're not making as much money
as toll collectors

in the Holland tunnel.

Now, uh, what kind of people
are gonna be teaching you

if things continue at that rate.

But you're a good teacher.

- Yeah, you are.
- Thank you.

But, uh, if I were
to take a job in the real world

uh, I could make a living wage.

Maybe two or three times
what I make now.

I-I, and I'll tell you
quite frankly

I don't know how much longer I
can afford to remain a teacher.

Mr. Moore, was this petition
for a wildcat strike your idea?

- Yes or no?
- No.

Don't try to confuse the issue

with your union rag trick,
he-he.

You wanna play rough? Fine.

Class, welcome Mr. Grodnik.

A bright enthusiastic,
a hungry young scholar

with a Ph.D. in history, who has
agreed to replace Mr. Moore

and help you
in your hour of need.

You mean a scab.

It's business as usual,
but not in my class.

Don't tell me
whose class this is.

I think I can take it from here,
Dr. Samuels.

Now, class, I understand
you were discussing

The Crittenden Compromise
of 1860.

I don't think
this is gonna work.

Yeah, I just don't
feel right about it.

I-it's like,
crossing a mental picket line.

And I sure don't wanna be taught

by some guy
who'd cross a real one.

- 'Yeah!'
- 'That's right.'

I don't either.

I only wanna be taught
by the best.

[all clamoring]

If you'd wait outside
for a moment, Mr. Grodnik.

I'm still gonna get paid,
aren't I?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's the matter
with you kids?

What about the test tomorrow?

Well, I guess, we probably won't
do as well as we might have.

Yeah, maybe we'll score
in the 94th percentile

instead of the 98th.

'And maybe that will hurt us
a little down the road'

but, Dr. Samuels,
lots of people have had to make

sacrifices much,
much greater than that.

(all)
Yeah.

I mean, we-we may not like it,
but it is important.

And I'm willing
to live with it.

- Yeah!
- Me too.

Hey, I was only trying
to help you.

This is your fault, Mr. Moore.

Mr. Grodnik, did you ever
conduct an orchestra?

[all cheering]

- Very impressive.
- Yeah.

I guess
by not teachin' us anything

you actually taught us
something.

- Uh-huh.
- Thanks, I'm-I'm glad.

I sure wish we could use it
on that darn test tomorrow.

Mr. Moore, I still have
one question.

Sure.

Can Dennis put his shoe
back on now?

Yeah!

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

My cake! It's gone.

How can a whole cake
just disappear?

Hmm, not the whole cake, Arvid.

Here's Einstein's hair.

You see, I hate coconut.

However, the rest
was delicious.

You ate my project!

You deserved it!

The only reason I even
signed us up for home ec class

was to meet girls, but no,
you had to get an A in baking.

And an A in sauteing.

And you had to gloat
when you julienned your beets.

You deserved some humiliation.

Humiliation?

You want me
to show you humiliation?

[hissing]

You mean it, Charlie? They went
back to the bargaining table?

Yeah, we got them
by the throat.

Way to go, men.

Yeah, I guess another day
or so and..

...we can go back
to being full-time zookeepers.

- There!
- Fine!

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