All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S03E16_2

[theme music]

So to wrap it up,
Ronald Reagan

is known as the Teflon President

because nothing sticks to him.

Well, I guess in that case,
you'd call Jimmy Carter

the Velcro President
because everything stuck to him.

What does that make
Richard Nixon?

The Saran Wrap President.

Covered everything up, but
you could still see through him.

Ah.

[bell rings]

Okay, uh, tomorrow
we'll trash the First Ladies.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, Janice.
I've got two tickets

to the New York Chamber
ensemble.

It's an all Mozart night.

- Would you like to go?
- I'd love to.

There's nothing like Mozart's

"Ein Musikalischer Spass K. 522"

for raising your soul
to the heights

of intellectual
and emotional bliss.

- When is it?
- Next Tuesday.

Oh, buggers.

I have a girls' scout meeting
that night.

- I can't go.
- I'll go.

Oh, I'd rather go with someone
who appreciates chamber music.

Hey, I appreciate chamber music.

Really?

Simone,
have you ever heard me knock it?

Quick, tell me everything
you know about chamber music.

Mr. Moore,
I'd like to give you a list

of available
after-school activities.

I wanna know why
you're the only staff member

who isn't a faculty advisor
to some club.

- Just lucky, I guess.
- Pick one.

"Math.

"Stamps.

"Future farmers?

Radio?"
Is there a-a radio club here?

I love it.
I'll-I'll-I'll take that.

- You got it.
- Uh, who's in it?

Just me.

I'm the president, the secretary

chief engineer and announcer.

Well, this is gonna
be so great, Arvid.

I mean, I spent hours
just listening

to Jack Benny
and Arthur Godfrey

"The Green Hornet."

Oh, yeah? You know,
we have an insect show too.

Maybe I'll just bring in
some tapes.

That's great.
This is so exciting.

I mean, imagine two guys
as different as us

sharing a common passion
for radio.

Yeah, it is kind of exciting,
you know.

So, uh, what do you estimate
your listenership to be?

Oh, uh, eight.

Eight hundred is not bad.

No, just eight.

Well, there's, uh, let's see.
There's Marshal Lansky

uh, uh, Brandon McCarthy,
Owen Konkle.

Now eight is a good start,
Arvid.

Let's, uh, forge ahead
to double digits.

Hey, I think we can do it.

I have got some really
tremendous programs coming up.

Ooh, like what?

Well, an exclusive interview

with Mr. Weller,
the calculus teacher.

He's gonna discuss
mean value theorems

and their relation
to series integration.

- Sounds interesting.
- Interesting?

It's a barn burner!

Listen, Arvid, uh

we could do
so many different things here.

I mean, uh, like
National Public Broadcasting.

We can do the news,
we can do, you know

old radio dramas,
live concerts--

Oh, oh, Mr. Moore, I'm sorry.
I have to hit the airwaves.

- Oh!
- Put it on.

- Electrify 'em, Arvid.
- Okay.

Good afternoon.

This is Arvid Engen
for WFHS Radio

and welcome to the wild,
wild world of chess.

You still looking for a date
for chamber music night?

I'm not looking
for a date, Eric.

I-I'm looking for a companion
to share the experience.

Does the Ravel Introduction
and Allegro

mean anything to you?

- I love Ravel.
- Hm. Who doesn't?

His "Tombeau de Couperin"
is one of my favorites.

Really? I'm impressed.

Tell me.
Do you prefer Beethoven's

early, middle or late quartets?

I, I like them
the way he intended.

The early ones in the morning
and the late ones at night.

Nice try, Eric.

[bell rings]
Damn.

Good morning, everybody.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Okay, I got a question for you.

How many of you realize

that Fillmore High
has its very own radio station?

How many care?

You poor, deprived..

...unenlightened children.

You realize
what this radio station

is capable of becoming?

Exactly what it is now.

Making the airwaves
boring in square waves.

WNRD.

- Nerd Radio.
- Nerd Radio.

Yeah, go ahead and laugh.
Very funny. Ha-ha-ha.

But things are gonna change,
right, Mr. Moore?

Right. Arvid and I
are going to expand

the format of the station.

We're gonna make it
the hottest high school

radio station
in all of New York City.

And I'm sure that we welcome
all of your contributions.

Mr. Moore, we appreciate
you're interested

in involving us
in what obviously promises

to be an extraordinary
radio club.

But the truth of the matter is..

Well, how can I put this?
Maria?

[scoffs]
We'd rather get Cs.

- Yeah.
- Exactly.

Fine. Subject is closed.

Uh, we'll go back to history.

December 7, 1941.

Japanese planes attack
Pearl Harbor.

A day that will live in infamy.

The most devastating attack
in US naval history.

And you know, Americans at home

watching this on television
couldn't believe their eyes.

- What?
- What are you saying?

Come on, Mr. Moore,
there was no television.

Well, then how did they
get the news?

(all)
Radio!

Aah!

And let's not forget
the inspiring wartime orations

of Winston Churchill.

[bell rings]

Okay, so tomorrow we'll talk
about Roosevelt and his views

to the radio fireside chats
to unify the American people.

Well, Mr. Moore,
doesn't look like you, uh

generated any radio activity.

It's still just you and me.

I haven't given up yet, Arvid.

Uh, do you know
what Jack Benny would say

in a situation like this?

What?

[as Jack Benny]
Oh, Dennis.

Please, Mr. Moore,
I don't wanna be on dweeb radio.

Dennis, I don't think
you have a real understanding

of what radio is.

Yes, I do. It's broken TV.

[laughs]

In a sense,
you're right, Dennis.

But you see,
you could do comedy like that

on your own radio show.

Oh, now wait,
I can have my own show?

Sure.

I mean, you could do
jokes and, uh, satire.

Crazy interviews.

Uh, you know, right?

Uh, yeah. Uh, sure.

I mean, I was thinking
in terms of something

maybe more educational,
but, uh..

W-well, no, yes, fine.

Right. So what do you say?

[gurgling]

Try to stay awake,
because coming up right now

is my exclusive interview
with the warden of this slammer

the one, the only,
Dr. Harold Samuels.

Welcome, Dr. S.

Now you've been to Harvard, Yale

Princeton, Cornell, Dartmouth.

Do you miss driving a bus?

[as Dr. Samuels]
Very funny, Blunden.

Now I have
an important announcement.

Listen up. To all students.

Tomorrow is Silly Day.

'I want all students
to wear their underwear'

on the outside
of their clothing.

This is me leaving.

Go, team!

[as himself]
Hey, Dr. Samuels,
watch out for that first step.

[crash]

Oh! Ooh. Ooh.

[crash]

'Well, turning from the cerebral
to the pointless'

I'd like to take you
right now to the metal shop

where Mr. Labrosa is teaching
the care and handling

of the common
household chainsaw.

[chainsaw whirring]

[screams]

Well, I see by the clock
in the trash

that it has just struck 13:00.

And so as the sun buries itself

deep in the Secaucus
toxic waste dump

I'd like to leave you
with the words

of Soren Kierkegaard

who wrestled with two of life's
eternal questions.

One, if it's takeout,
do you have to tip?

And two,
if there is a merciful God

how do we explain Wayne Newton?

Well, Mr. Moore,
what do you think?

On a scale of 1 to 10,
what about 160?

That was fine, Dennis.
You think so, Arvid?

Oh, yeah, great.

Wait till you guys hear
what I'm gonna play.

Some "Edgar Bergen
and Charlie McCarthy."

One of the classic
ventriloquist acts of all time.

Wait, a ventriloquist act
on radio?

How do you know the guy
wasn't movin' his lips?

Thanks, Dennis.
You just ruined my childhood.

M-Mr. Moore,
h-have you forgotten

about my chess show because--

Arvid, of course not.
I'm just..

I'm almost on here.

Hi there.
Welcome back to radio land.

This is the old professor
Charlie Moore

whisking you
from the contemporary comedy

of our own Dennis Blunden

'to the classic comedy'

'from the golden age of radio.'

It's the "Edgar Bergen
and Charlie McCarthy Show."

(Edgar on radio)
'Here's your nemesis,
Charlie McCarthy.'

(McCarthy on radio)
'Hello, mister..'

Hey, Arv, give me
a glass of water, will you?

(McCarthy)
'...going away on a vacation,
huh?'

(Edgar)
'Well, do you wanna make
anything out of it?'

(McCarthy)
'No.'

'Uh, Mr. Field,
a-are you eating a tomato'

'or is that your nose?'

[laughter on radio]

Arvid, what happened
to the radio station?

It's just not good lately.

Really?

Well, we have been doing
a few different things.

Well, where's the chess?

Where's the stamp collector's
corner?

And what happened
to insect of the week?

Well, it-it's just..

Uh, uh, w-why are you wearing
your underwear on the outside?

You heard Dr. Samuels.

This is Silly Day.

[all laughing]

It was on your radio station.

Well, it's not
my radio station anymore.

Okay, alright. Break it up.

You, Fruit Of The Loom gang,
get in my office.

Ah, Eric, I've been thinking
about the chamber concert

and, well,
how hard you've been trying

to be interested just for me.

And I think
that's really sweet.

So would you like to go
to the concert with me?

Look, Simone,
I woke up this morning

and I looked in the mirror,
and you know what?

I didn't like what I saw.

I realized I was force-feeding
myself chamber music

just to get a date with you.

Now this,
this is not me, Simone.

You're right. I understand.

It's hard trying to be someone
you're not.

I wouldn't want you to change.

W-w-w-wait, wait, wait,
I didn't say

I won't go with you, Simone.
I was just..

(man on radio)
'Ladies and gentlemen,
I have a grave announcement'

'to make.'

'Incredible as it may seem'

'both the observations
of science'

'and the evidence of our eyes'

'lead to the
inescapable assumption'

'that those strange beings

'who landed
in the Jersey farmlands tonight'

'are the vanguard
of an invading army'

'from the planet Mars..'

Wait a minute, Mr. Moore.

People actually believe this?

Believe it?

"War Of The Worlds"
caused a nationwide panic.

Mr. Moore,
but it was different then.

- Life was simpler.
- Yeah.

Come on, Mr. Moore,
you don't think we could do this

on our radio station?

Of course, we could.

I-I already figured out

'how we can make it appear
contemporary.'

We pretend to be getting feeds

from
National Public Broadcasting.

I have a question. Why?

Well, you weren't listening
to the radio

but you tuned in to hear Dennis.

- And you liked it, right?
- Yeah.

And-and you gotta love
the nostalgia stuff

that I've been playing.

Nostalgia to me
is a Bee Gees record.

Okay. Anyway

uh, now you're gonna tune in

because you wanna see
what happens.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

That's what I want
from the whole school.

Something this big
could get their attention.

I see it. I see it.

You know, we could pull a hoax
on this whole school.

- We could empty this place.
- Yeah.

And then they'll wanna listen
to what we do next.

Right. But we're not trying
to panic anybody.

We just wanna get
their attention.

Now once we have them hooked

then we could do
any kind of show we want.

(Darlene)
'Yeah.'

Maria, you could do
a phone-in talk show.

- Yeah.
- 'That's great.'

Alan could be the next
Paul Harvey.

- 'Alright.'
- 'Yeah.'

Yeah, and don't forget
about my chess program.

- Right.
- Oh!

(Mr. Moore)
'Well, there is that too.'

Look, I need some of you
to help me write the script.

Some of you will be actors.
And we need publicity.

Handbills, posters,
things like that.

What we do,
we advertise it first of all

as a comedy soap opera.

Once we have an audience
that's listening to this, then..

- 'Oh, yeah.'
- 'Great.'

[cheering]

Okay, so then
you'll need the posters

and the flyers by Tuesday.

I really appreciate it.

You're really getting
into this radio thing, huh?

It just seemed to be crying out
for the old Charlie Moore magic.

Well, I got some attendance
reports that are crying out

for that old
Charlie Moore magic too.

I will get to those.

It's just that right now
I'm involved

in creating something fresh
and exciting.

Now I hope that
Arvid appreciates all the help

that you're giving him
with his radio station.

He's getting into it.
I mean, they all are.

We are turning
this station around

and we're having
a lot of fun doing it.

I think
that in his own quiet way

Arvid loves the changes
just as much as I do.

- Well, I hope you're right.
- See you tomorrow.

'Goodnight.'

Uh, Mr. Moore.

Can I talk to you a minute? I--

Do-do, well, do you have
problems with your part?

Well, uh, it's not about
this show per se--

Arvid, w-we're about
to go on the air.

I mean,
can it wait till later?

- Uh, y-yeah.
- Okay. Thanks.

Okay, everybody, places.

Five seconds to air.

"This is WFHS Fillmore
on the air.

Welcome
to the continuing saga of.."

[harmonica music]

"'...All My Parents.'

"Our story opens
at Duckworth Boarding School

"where 12-year-old Samantha
is waiting for her mother

"her father, her stepmother
and her stepfather

"to arrive for her graduation.

We hear the doorbell."

Oh.

[tapping]

Oh.

[doorbell rings]

"Hi, mom. Hi, mom.

Hi, dad. Hi, dad."

(all)
"Hi, Samantha."

"We interrupt this program
with a special bulletin

"from National
Public Broadcasting.

"WFHS will now patch in to NPB

for an up-to-the-minute report."

"This is Suzanne Scott
for National Public Broadcasting

"speaking directly from our
studios in Washington DC.

"We've received rumors that
an unidentified flying object

"has landed just outside
Saratoga, New York.

"State and local police
are conducting a search

"but have not yet found
any trace of the UFO.

"We will keep you up-to-date
with any further developments.

Now we return you
to your local programming."

"We bought you
graduation gift, dear."

"Ho, ho, you deserve it,
sweetheart.

You finished
at the top of your class.

Go ahead and open it."

[paper crumpling]

"A puppy!"

[barks]

"You're the best four parents
I've ever had.

Oops, I dropped him."

Oh.

[glass shatters]
Oh, so sorry..

We interrupt again to bring you
another special bulletin

from National
Public Broadcasting.

"This is Suzanne Scott.
We have just received word

"from officials in Saratoga
that a spacecraft

"of undetermined origin
has been located.

"We switch you now
to the landing sight

and NPB reporter James Clark."

Oh, oh, I'm sorry. Uh, uh..

"We interrupt to bring..

We interrupt again.."

No, no, no, I mean, uh, this..

Oh, I can't do this.
Forget it. I just..

"I'm in the midst of a scene
of incredible activity.

'I'm surrounded by national
guardsmen, state and local.."'

What's the matter, Arvid?

Mr. Moore, you don't know
how hard it is for me

to say this because, well..

Well, I-I love radio
just as much as you do, but..

...I don't wanna be
a, a part of WFHS anymore.

I respectfully resign.

"Choppers with sophisticated
laser detection equipment

"are hovering overhead.

"It's beginning to look
as if we're about

to have the close encounter
of the real kind."

[on speaker]
'With me now are Tiffany Owens
and Melissa Thompson'

'two young ladies who witnessed
the actual landing'

of the spacecraft.'

'Melissa,
what were your thoughts'

'when you saw the rapid
descending from the..'

Mr. Moore,
I didn't believe it then

and I don't believe it now.

Yeah, well, you're a hard man
to fool, Dr. Samuels.

(Darlene on radio)
'Jim, this is Suzanne.
What's happening now?'

Arvid.

Mr. Moore, hi.

Arvid, I think, uh,
we should have a talk.

Mr. Moore, I know.

I-I shouldn't have
walked out on the program

and let everybody down.

I'm really sorry, I--

Arvid, I don't think

you're the one
who should be apologizing.

Sure, I am. I mean, I quit.

Your new format
i-is fun and exciting

and-and it's really working.

Uh, I'm not so sure.

(Arvid)
'What, what do you mean?'

[turns off radio]
Uh, listen, Arvid, I mean..

...it has occurred to me
that it was your radio station.

I mean,
I-I-I just pushed you out.

No.
No, no, your ideas are great.

I mean, I-I was standing
in the way of progress.

I mean,
I was a-a stick in the mud.

A-a fly in the ointment and..

I mean, I couldn't just come out
and tell you that..

Um..

You couldn't tell me
that you were angry with me?

[laughs]

Me, angry with you?

No, no, no.

I was wrong.

I-I made a mistake, Arvid.

I just rolled right over you
with no consideration

for your feelings.

Didn't I?

Maybe a little.

So tell me.

I mean, yell at me, you know.

Give it to me.
Give me your best shot.

Mr. Moore, I can't yell at you.

You're my teacher, my-my mentor.

You're a God.

I mean,
you can't just yell at a God.

Arvid, I'm not God, okay?

I'm just a guy who got a little
carried away with his plans

which don't seem to be
working out too well.

Ah, look, I behaved like a jerk

and I deserve to be told that.

So tell me.

[sighs]
Now, Mr. Moore,
you know how I fall

in the face of authority.

You know, parents, teachers,
crossing guards. It's just--

Arvid, I am an authority figure.

I am ordering you, criticize me.

It was my radio station.

It was my special thing
and you..

Well, you pushed me out!

Y-y-you,
you rolled right over me

without even considering
my feelings!

Y-you got carried away
with your ideas

which don't seem to have worked

a-and for a teacher and a mentor

you acted like a jerk!

How was that?

We now continue
with a musical interlude.

We will keep you apprised
of further details

as they occur.

Mr. Moore,
how bad is it out there?

Running through the halls?
Scared to death? Panic?

- Yeah.
- Right, tell us.

I did see, uh,
a worried face or two.

- Great.
- Yes.

- Furrowed brows.
- Right, wonderful.

- Nobody is listening.
- What?

- Why?
- What?

But we still learned
a valuable lesson.

It's time for Fillmore Radio
to stop

regroup and rethink itself.

You mean
the radio station's dead?

- Again?
- 'No.'

But Arvid here is going
to work out a program schedule

that's gonna attract
a much larger listenership

than we ever had before.

And I'm sure that he welcomes
all of your contributions.

That's right. I want everyone
to come up with all new ideas.

Well, sure. We could do
a homework helper show.

- Great.
- Of course, my chess program.

And, and maybe Mr. Moore
could lighten things up

with a-a jazz show.

- Great.
- How about this?

A group of Las Vegas showgirls

move in with a chubby yet virile
high school genius?

I-I-I--

- Uh, I-I like it.
- 'Yeah?'

I like it and I'll tell you why.

This is the important part.

On radio, Arvid could play

that chubby yet virile
high school genius.

Hey, hey, come on.
Now wait a minute.

So how was the chamber
music concert?

It was great.
Yeah, just great.

- I want the story.
- No stories, okay?

Your first date with Simone,
you're in a bad mood.

What's the matter?
No kiss goodnight?

Simone got sick.
She didn't even go.

She gave her ticket
to somebody else.

- So who'd you go with?
- Somebody else, okay?

- Who?
- Hi, Eric.

You dropped your comb
at the concert last night.

I'm so glad my girls' scout
meeting was canceled.

Must have been fate.

Laugh and you're a dead man.

[theme music]