All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S03E11_2

[theme music]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

- Arvid! Stick around.
- Ah!

- This is gonna be great.
- Wh-what's gonna be great?

Well, you remember
the helium tank

that I borrowed
from your magic act?

- Oh, no, no, no.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I ran a tube from the tank
up to Dr. Samuels' microphone.

So when he presses the button
to make the announcements..

Oh, Dennis!

(Dr. Samuels on speaker)
'Attention, students.'

'This is not funny.'

'Wait a minute!
What's going on here?'

'Blunden, get in here.'

I think we're in trouble.

[laughs]

[instrumental music]

Cutting class again.

Rhonda, this is getting
to be a habit.

It's nice to see you again too.

Why don't you just
take a seat over there?

I think Dr. Samuels would wanna
handle this personally.

This ought to be good.

I've always wanted to be
yelled at by a chipmunk.

- Arvid.
- Huh?

Do you know who that is?
That's Rhonda Gielgud.

- That's Rhonda Gielgud?
- Uh-huh.

- The Rhonda Gielgud?
- That's right.

The girl who takes all
the guesswork out of dating.

I'm telling you, Arvid,
she's a sure thing.

Do you know what my problem
with girls has always been?

Well, you're obnoxious,
you're cheap.

Uh, I have seen you
naked in gym class.

- Let's say--
- Arvid, shut up.

The problem is I've been
asking out the wrong girls.

Not anymore.

[groans]

[sighs]

[clears throat]

Rhonda. Hi.

Dennis Blunden.
I've seen you around detention.

And, uh, I was just
thinking to myself

why don't we go out some night?

Why don't you get lost?

Thank you.

[chuckles]
That was real smoo..

So what are you in here for?

Um, helium in the intercom.

That was you?
That was very funny.

- Yeah? Thanks.
- You're welcome.

Blunden, get away
from my donuts.

[coughs]

Now get in my office.

You too, Arvid. Rhonda,
I'll see you in a minute.

Look, Dr. Samuels,
I, um, what was it?

I have to go.

Uh, it was a pleasure
to make your acquaintance.

You know, you're kind of cute.

Yeah? Thanks.

[instrumental music]

And tomorrow,
we're going to begin discussing

the most recent
American initiatives

to end apartheid
in South Africa.

Assuming we can find any.

[bell rings]

'See you then.'

Arvid, Dennis tells me
that Rhonda Gielgud wants you.

What? She doesn't want me.
She told me I was kind of cute.

Bunny rabbits are kind of cute.
It doesn't mean anything.

- What's up?
- Nothing.

Rhonda Gielgud has chosen Arvid
to be her playmate of the week.

- Yes.
- What's wrong with you guys?

She said I was cute.
Doesn't mean she wants me.

Arvid, with Rhonda Gielgud,
hello means she wants you.

- Believe me.
- 'It's true, Arv.'

Oh, really?

That's what they say.

Simone, come on. I never even
said hi to the girl.

You know, I don't think
this conversation

is really appropriate.

Alan, this is Arvid
we're talking about.

Not some supreme court nominee.

Oh, right.
So what did she do, Arvid?

- Grab you somewhere?
- Oh, no!

- Not yet.
- Oh, stop it.

Come on, this is typical of--

Excuse me, folks.
Just a reminder.

Uh, those who don't leave
history class

are doomed to repeat it.

Arvid. Arvid.

Arvid, Arvid, come on.

Arvid, this is a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

And in your case,
I really mean that.

- Yeah.
- Right. There she is.

[chuckles]
Let's get out of here.

Arvid, just stay here
and talk to the girl.

Yeah, talk to her.
Say something.

Come on, be a man, Arvid.
Buck up now.

- 'Come on, man.'
- 'Let's go.'

Hi, Arvid.

How are you?

My sinuses are draining.

So do you wanna do something
on Friday night?

Hm. Oh, I-I don't know.
It's a school night.

No, it's not.

I-I-I mean,
uh, for Sunday school.

The next morning is Saturday.

But you know, Jewish people
have Sunday school on Saturday.

- Arvid?
- Hm.

You're not Jewish.

Right, that's true.
I, uh, I'm-I'm-I'm free.

Great, so come to my place.
7 o'clock okay?

- Uh, uh--
- Yeah.

- Yes. Yes.
- Good.

[bell rings]

Okay, tomorrow
we're gonna be talking about

protest movements
within South Africa.

The Pan-African Congress,
the African National Congress

Black Sash,
which is women's organization.

Things like that.

- Thanks, Mr. Moore.
- 'Have a good one.'

- Bye, Mr. Moore.
- Bye. Bye-bye.

Oh, say, Mr. Moore,
how was your weekend?

- Uh, this is Thursday, Arvid.
- Oh.

I-I-I mean, last weekend.

Um, it was fine.

Did you, uh,
did you have a date?

- As a matter of fact, I did.
- Good, good.

So when you made your move,
who unhooked the brassiere?

You or her?

Well, uh, before I tell you
that it's none of your business

why am I being asked
these questions?

I'm going to have sex
Friday night.

I see.
Uh, you have that in writing?

Well, the consensus of opinion
is it looks pretty definite.

Yes, sir.

That's why I have to talk
to somebody with, I don't know

hands-on experience,
so to speak.

Okay, you want some advice, huh?

Yeah. Hold on, wait.

Okay.

Well, um, first, you think.

- Think?
- Yeah.

You think why am I having sex
with this girl?

That's a good question,
Mr. Moore.

I think it's because..

Well, basically, I don't wanna
let the guys down.

That's good
school spirit, Arvid.

But how do you feel
toward the girl?

[chuckles]
I had this dream last night,
Mr. Moore.

I was flying on troop transport

on a dangerous mission
over uncharted territory.

And-and I'm standing
in the open doorway

and everyone's yelling
jump, jump. So I jumped.

And then I realized
that my parachute

was a gigantic brassiere
and I couldn't get it open.

And when I woke up, my practice
brassiere was in shreds.

Your practice brassiere?

Yeah, I-I-I bought one
for research.

Good idea. Well..

You wanted my advice, Arvid,
so I'm gonna give it to you.

I-I think that you're
overreacting to peer pressure.

I think there's obviously
a lot of anxiety

on this subject for you.

And I don't think
you're really ready yet.

Uh, but I have to be ready,
Mr. Moore.

The opportunity is now.

Well, there'll be other
opportunities, Arvid.

I mean, you have
your entire life ahead of you.

Well, Mr. Moore, girls like this
don't grow on trees.

Uh, believe me, if they did,
I'd become a forest ranger.

Arvid, Arvid--

Well, uh, Mr. Moore,
I sincerely believe

that I have to do this.

And you want me to say
that it's okay.

Is that it?
I'm sorry, Arvid.

Uh, I can't really say that

'cause I don't think
it's okay yet.

Now if you feel
you have to do it

then I hope you'll be wearing
the right kind of parachute.

What?

Buy a condom.

[no audio]

[instrumental music]

- May I help you?
- Yes. Yes.

I-I was wondering if you could
recommend a brand of co..

Co.. Cotton balls.

To tell the truth, uh,
there's not a lot of differences

in cotton balls.

I suppose it all depends on
what you plan to do with them.

I, I just want to use some
to make a snow scene

for my train set.

I see.

Well, here. This should fill
all your snowsy needs.

Anything else?

Yes. I would, I would like
some toothpaste..

...and some with fluoride

and one box of..

[coughs]

...lip balm.

Will that be all?

No, uh, there is one more thing
I need.

I, uh..

[chuckles]

Pantyhose.

That's some snow scene
you're building.

24.95.

There is one more thing I need

of a personal
and, uh, exotic nature.

- I need..
- Condoms?

Of course, oh, no,
for, for a snow scene.

Now listen to me, this is fine.
Thank you very much.

- Thank you.
- Young man, just one moment.

Don't you dare walk out of here
without those condoms.

If you wanna act like a man
then you better take

the responsibility of a man.

Here.
They're on me.

Just make sure they're on you.

[chuckles]

[bell rings]

[gasps]

Good reflexes.
I like that in a man.

It's you. I-I thought
it was a, a-a moth.

Here's my address.

I'll see you at 7:00.

- Morning, Arvid.
- Hi, Mr. Moore.

So it's, uh, Rhonda Gielgud
you're seeing, huh?

Yeah, might as well
get it over with.

Get it over with?

Aren't you missing something?

What?

Well..

...having sex does involve
another human being.

I know that, Mr. Moore,
I, I have the other human being

and got the protection.

- So, uh, don't worry about me.
- Oh, I'm not worried about you.

I'm worried about her.

Did you ever stop
to ask yourself

why she's so interested
in just about anyone?

I don't know.

Maybe she likes having sex.

Maybe.

Maybe she's lonely.

Maybe she's confused.

Maybe she's desperate
for attention.

Never thought about that.

Well, think about it.

Now Rhonda is a troubled person.

She cuts classes,
she doesn't finish her homework.

She's promiscuous. That's, uh,
self-destructive behavior.

And you are about
to make love to her.

- You care about her at all?
- Well, uh, I don't know.

You even like her?

I don't even know her,
Mr. Moore.

You feel good about that?

Well, hey, don't look at me,
Mr. Moore.

- The whole thing was her idea.
- Oh, don't give me that.

I mean, you know better.

Now I am just asking you to..

...think about
what you're about to do.

And with whom?
And why?

[instrumental music]

[knock on door]

- Hi.
- Hi.

You're late.

Um, I was just in the lobby

uh, admiring the artwork.

Great apartment your folks have.

It's okay, I guess.

Nice sedimentary dolomite.

Yeah. Can I get you
something to drink?

Uh, a drink? I, I better not.

I'm-I'm-I'm gonna be
driving later.

I-I-I mean,
after, uh, I get my license.

You are cute.

What? Uh, did you hear that?
That sounds like your parents.

- Was that..
- You've got good ears, Arvid.

They're in Boston.

[chuckles]
Okay..

So I-I guess you're a little old
to have a-a sitter.

Boston. I..

[sighs]

[chuckles]

You know..

...I like guys
who are a little shy.

[chuckles]
I'm-I'm a lot shy.

I still can't undress
in front of my schnauzer.

I can't look at my mother's
laundry without blushing.

No, no, no, it-it's true.
I-I had to be forced breastfed.

I'm gonna take these off.

You wouldn't want them
to get broken.

No, no.

[chuckles]

Do-do you get those little red
marks on your nose

when you take off your glasses?

No, I mean, you don't,
you don't wear a glass.

W-w-w-wait, where-where did you
say you were, you were from?

I mean, I know you're from,
you're from N-New York.

Uh, well, you know, most..
We're in New York.

I know that, obviously. But
I mean, uh, i-i-it's, w-well..

I think in one way or another,
most people are from New York.

Don't you agree that..

Arvid, don't you wanna kiss me?

Yes.

I mean, who wouldn't? I..

C-c-can I ask you
a-a-a question?

[clears throat]
What is it, Arvid?

Uh..

...why me?

What kind of a question is that?

Well, uh, I mean, let's just
face it, I'm-I'm not, you know

exactly Mel Gibson.

Uh, I'm not even Hoot Gibson.

- Who?
- I mean, I-I-I..

What could you possibly get
out-out of being with me?

I mean, I mean,
you're-you're so exciting

and you're,
you-you-you're beautiful

and you are sexy and--

You don't have to say
that stuff.

No, no, no, I-I-I mean that.

That-that's why
I can't understand

what I'm doing here.

Well, if you'd stop talking
for a minute

maybe you'd find out.

Just like that?

[chuckles]

Arvid, obviously,
you don't know me.

That's it.
See, that's the point.

I'm trying to get to know you.

- Yeah?
- Yes.

So if you'll just, you know,
tell me a little about yourself.

[chuckles]
Like what?

I don't know.

What about your family?

Well, I don't have
any brothers and sisters.

My father is a sales rep
for textiles

and my mother's his partner.

They travel a lot
and I stay home.

You must get lonely.

Sure. Sometimes. Don't you?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Uh, I-I do have my schnauzer.

So I guess I'm not
quite as lonely as you.

Look, are we gonna do it
or what?

You betcha. Yes.

Well, you still haven't
answered. Why me?

[sighs]
Because..

...you're different.

I mean, like you've never
made it with a nerd before

and you wanna see what it's like
to, you know, break one in?

I mean, what's the..

You acted differently.

Sweet and funny.

And you didn't hit on me.

And I just had this hunch..

I had a hunch
that I'd like being with you.

I like being with you too.

You know, most guys don't have
much to say to me.

Except afterwards
and then it's, ahem, I gotta go.

That's terrible.

You know, I've read
that post-coital tenderness

is very important.
I mean, especially to the woman.

Post what?

You know, um, afterwards.

Just sort of..

...holding each other and..

...talking.

About what?

Like-like secrets, uh,
for instance, I might tell you

that I-I think I'm too old
to be in the boy scouts.

Or, or that, uh, uh..

- What? What?
- Uh..

Well, uh, uh, I wish my ears
were a little closer to my head.

When I was a little girl,
on my birthdays..

...my mother would take me
to FAO Schwarz

and I'd write down
everything I wanted

on these little pieces of paper

and we'd fold them up
and put them in a hat

and I'd pick one
and that would be my present.

And I never knew what it was..

...but I always knew it would be
something that I wanted.

Now she just writes a check
and I pick out something myself.

Do you get along with her?

She's okay.
I mean, they're both okay.

And they know what I'm doing.

And they say things about it.

But the more they do that,
the more I do this.

You know, this is the most
I've ever talked to any guy

I've had over here.

So this is it, huh?
Post-coital..

- Tenderness.
- Yeah.

I thought it would be like this
with you afterwards.

- It's nice.
- Yeah.

Of course, t-this isn't
technically afterwards.

But it-it-it's nice.

Are you disappointed?

[chuckles]

No, I-I, uh, I, in fact, I..

Uh, I've learned a lot actually.

I mean, I know what,
I know what sex is like before

and I know
what it's like afterwards.

I just gotta work
on that during part.

Listen,
let's get something to eat.

- Yeah.
- And talk some more.

Great.

I mean, that's what
it's really all about, huh?

Arvid, you're sweet.

[chuckles]

- Arvid?
- Oh, yes.

[theme music]