All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S03E03_2

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Put the luggage on the red bus.

Spasibo. Spasibo.

Thank you very much.
Da, da, da.

Okay, listen up,
here's your schedule.

We check in at the hotel

study, dinner,
study and lights out.

'Tomorrow, we study,
lunch, study'

and then a reception
where we meet the enemy.

'The day after that
we study, study, study'

'right up
until the academic meet.'

Alright,
let's move it out, gang!

Move it, move it, move it!

'As we drive through Moscow'

'I'll be pointing out places
of interests from my guidebook.'

[indistinct chatter]

(Samuels)
'On your right
is a typical Russian building'

'with a typical statue
in front.'

(Simone)
'That's the poet Mayakovsky.'

(Charlie)
'That must be the Kremlin.'

(Samuels)
'Not so fast.
Let me check the guidebook.'

'Yes, yes.
On your right, the Kremlin.'

(Alan)
'Dr. Samuels, can we stop
and walk around?'

(Samuels)
'You get a better view
from the bus, trust me.'

It's beautiful here.

(Samuels)
'Here we have the famous
Bolshoi Theater.'

- 'Dr. Samuels, can we--'
- 'Forget it.'

'We're probably
out of time, anyway.'

Hey, Dr. Samuels, room service
is complementary, right?

(Samuels)
'Wrong, Blunden.'

(Arvid)
'It's the entrance
to the space museum.'

'Dr. Samuels, we gotta stop.'

(Samuels)
'It looks closed.'

'Our hotel, built by Stalin.'

(Charlie)
'Scary times, politically
and architecturally.'

[indistinct chatter]

(Samuels)
Okay, everybody,
stick together.

Let's have a light lunch
and start cramming.

Excuse me, Dr. Samuels,
but, uh

when are we actually gonna
get to see Moscow?

- Yeah.
- You just saw it, comrade.

Let's go, team!

- Here you go.
- Come on, let's go.

[instrumental music]

Uh, uh, heat cannot flow

from a cold body to a hot body

with-without, uh-uh..

[indistinct chatter]

You guys, uh, still studying?

We've got today,
tonight, tomorrow

and then the morning
of the meet.

It won't be easy, but it's
what we do best. Right, guys?

- Yeah, right.
- Yes.

Is that all you want
out of this experience?

I-I-I gotta
visit the space museum.

If I don't see my relatives,
my mother's gonna kill me.

[indistinct chatter]

Where is Dr. Samuels?

He went back to his room
to get more books.

- Okay. Hi.
- Hi.

- Come with me.
- Oh.

[knocking on door]

- Dr. Samuels?
- Dr. Samuels?

(Charlie)
'Dr. Samuels, we need to talk.'

Uh, listen, are you.. Ah.

Dr. Samuels, uh, we only have
three days in Moscow

'and you've got these kids'

'locked up
in the hotel, studying.'

Uh, what are you doing?

Shh! This place is bugged.

Bugged? We're from a high school
not the Pentagon.

There's a microphone
in here somewhere.

- 'Really?'
- I just haven't found it yet.

- I think you can relax, sir.
- Right. Yes.

When are you two gonna grow up?

These Russians
will do anything to win.

Dr. Samuels,
you are being bit paranoid.

Oh, yeah? Look at this.

Hah!

Who's paranoid now, huh?

[chuckles]

Dr. Samuels, you have
to give them one free day.

You know...for a while there

I was beginning
to listen to you.

But now,
after finding this microphone..

[chandelier rattling]

Look at these wires.

They play hard ball,
we play hard ball.

[crash]

[panting]

You heard nothing,
you saw nothing.

Capeesh?

[clears throat]
Free day tomorrow?

Free day tomorrow.

- It was the right thing to do.
- Get out of here.

[instrumental music]

(Charlie)
'This is the most
extraordinary building'

'in Red Square
if not the world.'

'I wanna get a little closer.
Come on.'

Well, this is it.
St. Basil's Cathedral.

It was built
for Ivan, the Terrible.

And historians tell us
that when it was finished

he liked it so much
that just to make sure

there would never be
another one

he had
the architects blinded.

I think they're all working
for Donald Trump now.

[students laughing]

Anyway, after this, I'm gonna
check out the Kremlin

and then maybe
Cathedral Square

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

- Anybody wanna come along?
- Uh, Mr. Moore.

Sarah and I wanna
get started on our video.

- Right.
- You did say a free day.

That's right
and that's what it is.

You're free to do
whatever you want.

I do wanna remind you
of two words.

- Gaston..
- Gaston..

Those are the two words.

That's the name of our hotel.

Be there by 6 o'clock, okay?

- Okay.
- Enjoy yourself.

[indistinct chatter]

Have fun.

So, I guess
it's just you and me.

What do you wanna do?

Let's go see
how the other half lives.

- The other half?
- Come on.

[instrumental music]

Wow!

I can't believe I'm standing

in the middle
of the actual Kremlin.

What good is it doing us,
Arvid, huh?

I mean, look around here.
Would you just look around?

Do you realize we could be
makin' a fortune

sellin' blue jeans
and sellin' tapes of Ringo

singin' "Octopus's Garden?"

God! A man without a mission.

You're a man
who owes me $250.

Whoa! Look at this prehistoric
missile launcher.

Whoopie.

"This canon was the largest
in history.

"Built by the son
of Ivan, the Terrible

as-as a deterrent
to his enemies."

It was never fired.

Wow. This is the H-bomb
of the 1500s.

- Take me with it, okay?
- Tourists.

We've been reduced
to being tourists.

Smile.

'Hold it right there.'

- What?
- Babeskies.

Babeskies.

Arvid, babeskies.
Russian women.

Right over there.
Would you look?

Hey, maybe they can tell us
how to get to the space museum.

Arvid, could you think?
Would you try to do that for me?

Those are Russian women
over there, okay?

They've never
seen a nerd before.

- Virgin territory.
- Oh.

[chuckles]

Um.. Excuski. Excuski.

Um, we are, uh, American-ski.

Me, Dennis.

Him, Arvid.

How do you do?
My name is Natasha.

This is Sonya.

Oh, you guys speak English.
That's great.

A little.

Do you know
what a nerd is?

Nerd? No.

[chuckles]

Um, it's American slang

for cool guy.

- Oh. Cool guy.
- Cool guy.

[chuckles]

Hello.

I'm an American student.

I'd really like Mr. Gorbachev
to autograph my book.

Could you direct me
to his office?

[chuckles]
Oh. Thanks.

Thanks.
I'll ask somebody else.

[instrumental music]

This is nice, you know?

- You and me together.
- Yeah.

Kinda romantic
of being so far away from home.

Well, what do you wanna
do first?

Well, I don't care
in what order

but I wanna go to
the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

and then see
where Tolstoy lived

and put some flowers
on Chekhov's grave.

Does anything interests you
that also breaths?

Oh, I also wanna go
to where Gogol was buried.

He wrote one
of my favorite novels.

- "Dead Souls."
- "Dead Souls."

- Right.
- Yeah.

Listen, can we..

...maybe do something
a little more exciting

than watch grass grow
on people's graves?

- Eric, they were great artists.
- I know, I know.

I love to read
what they wrote

not what's on
their tombstones.

Okay.
What do you wanna do?

Normal stuff.

You know, Eric,
i-i-it wouldn't do you any harm

to absorb a little culture.

Oh, so you think
I'm a slob.

- No, I-I didn't say that.
- Ah, yes.

Well, I'm gonna call up my
relatives and pay 'em a visit.

We're probably,
like, gonna sit around

and watch the "A-Team"
in Russian.

Well, that sounds like
a lot of fun, Eric.

Well, why don't you
go do that?

- Okay, I will.
- Okay, fine.

- Fine.
- Fine.

[instrumental music]

[bell tolling]

The changing of the guards
at Lenin's Tomb

every hour, on the hour,
every day of the year.

Impressive, yet, to the Soviets

who spend hours online here

an incredibly moving experience.

Cut. Not bad.

Can you believe this?

A propaganda poster store.

Alan, please,
don't go in there.

I know what's gonna happen,
you're gonna get aggravated

and you're gonna
get into a fight.

They're even proud of it.
It's incredible.

Alan. Alan!

(Alan)
'This is completely unfair.'

Everything is written
in Russian.

Alan, you're gonna get us
arrested. I just know it.

How can we tell what mess
they're spreading about us?

Excuse me,
what does that one say?

[speaking in foreign language]

"All power to the Soviets."

[scoffs]
Tell me about it.

Okay, I will tell you.
Who am I telling?

I'm Alan Pinkard.

Young Americans
for Freedom.

I believe in free enterprise
in the Republican Party

which, someday I hope,
will nominate me

to run for president.

Oh, my opposite number.

I'm Peter Rybakov.

I am a Komsomol secretary
in my school.

And someday
I hope to be a chairman

of the Supreme Soviet.

Whatever you're believe in,
I don't.

First of all,
I would like to congratulate you

on your rudimentary
knowledge of English.

And I would like
to sympathize with you

on your complete
ignorance of Russian.

[instrumental music]

I guess they're talkin'
about us.

Do you think it's good?

Sh-sh-sh.

- Did you hear that?
- What?

I distinctly heard
Natasha say "KGB."

Dude, they're callin' the KGB?

W-what did we do? We didn't do
anything. We didn't touch them.

- Not yet.
- Yet?

You know, Arvid, sometimes I
think you're a little bit slow.

Those are Russian women.

I know that, Dennis.

Well, obviously they know we're
American science prodigies.

They would love to own us.

'You're space,
I'm weapons research'

those girls are on
a mission.

They were probably sent here
to pick us up.

Do you know
how ridiculous that is?

These are perfectly
nice Russian girls

who also happen to be
very attractive.

Oh, yeah,
and when was the last time

two attractive girls like that
tried to pick up on us?

Maybe they think
we're sharp dressers.

They want information, Arvid.

Would you grow up?

Their mission
is to have sex with us

and then blackmail us
for information.

Sex? Oh, God,
how do we get out of it?

Get out of it?

Isn't this incredible,
Mr. Moore?

A real Russian high school.

That was
a great idea, Janice.

I've always been curious
what they're like.

Well, there's no graffiti.
That's a good start.

Yeah. Use a spray can,
go to Siberia.

I hope we're not
intruding too much.

I mean, coming off
the street like this.

Oh, not at all.

Our tenth form English class

will be very glad to meet you.

- Tenth form? Great.
- Yes.

- Please.
- Alright. Yes.

[speaking in foreign language]

- Good morning.
- Good morning, Ms. Belevo.

- Hello.
- Hello.

(Charlie)
'We're from Fillmore
High School'

in Manhattan, New York City.

Am I going too fast?

(all)
No.

Well, we wanted
to visit your high school

and we wanted
to say hello.

Well, if you can
stay a few minutes

I'm sure my student would much
rather practice their English

by asking you about America

than listen to me talk about
transitive verbs, yes?

(all)
Yes.

Yes.

[instrumental music]

- Laura?
- Eric?

- Yes! Yes.
- Ha-ha-ha!

Wow,
I mean, it's a good thing

you wore that
Twisted Sister thing

or else I, uh, would've
never noticed you.

Really?

No, no, not really.

I, I never expected this.

- What?
- You're beautiful.

Oh.

This is definitely not
the Russia

I saw in National Geographic.

You're beautiful, too.

Are you looking forward to
meeting the rest of the family?

No, I'm not in any rush.

Good. Because today
everyone is working.

Tomorrow would be better.

Oh, no, no, no.
No. Tomorrow I can't.

Tomorrow I have the meet.

But they are making
a big party for you.

Everyone will be there.

Well, maybe I can get away
for just a little while.

[chuckles]
They will be so happy.

Good.

So, what-what-what are we
gonna do now?

If you like I can show you
a little bit of Moscow.

That's great.

[upbeat music]

Are you sure
that we're related?

Do American people
like to laugh at themselves?

What Russian national food
is most popular in America?

Who will you vote for,
Bush or Dukakis?

Uh, what Soviet films
have you seen in America?

I want to ask you what
Michael Jackson's doing now?

What problems of
the young people do you have?

Would you like to see Gorbachev

as, uh, the President
of the United States?

In your opinion, which, uh..

Which women are most beautiful?

American or Russian?

Well, when in Rome

uh, I-I think in this case

uh, Moscow, Russian women,
definitely.

- Oh, thank you.
- Oh, it's my pleasure.

Believe me.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

Dennis, I'm worried. We have to
get back for the reception.

- We can be late.
- No, we can't.

Listen, think of this
as an ideological struggle.

If they want our minds,
they gotta crawl

over our bodies
to get there, so be it.

What if you're wrong?

What if they're just
trying to be nice?

Arvid, please, this is no time
to get soft on communism.

Who do you think
they're talking to over there

on the phone, their mother?

They made contact
and now they're checking in.

Sh-sh-sh.

We have had a fun time with you.

Is it possible
to see a game tomorrow?

Oh, see, tomorrow's
our academ--

We'd love to.
Sounds great.

Tomorrow, we're all yours.

Perfect. Is there anything
special you'd like to see?

Uh, well, I..

You know, I'd like to see
the space museum.

Fine. We'll show you
the space museum.

What about refuseniks?

- What about blacks?
- Aha.

Jessie Jackson was almost
nominated for president.

Almost. Sounds good.

Means, pff, nothing.

You know what
you oughta try?

- Try having free elections.
- Oh, my God.

Thanks for the good advice.

Can you see
that we don't need you

to tell us
how to run our country?

- Oh, I'm late.
- Wait a minute.

You're not walking out
on me now.

Alan, we're late, too.
They're gonna be waiting for us.

- Perhaps we will talk again.
- When?

In 30 years..

...if you actually convince
your people to elect you.

Goodbye.

[instrumental music]

Remember, this is a reception

just to say hello
to the other side.

Be courteous, but beware

they'll try to intimidate you.

Especially
since they've spent the day

preparing for tomorrow's meet

instead of traipsing all over
town like a bunch of tourists.

Welcome, Americans.

I'm Anatoli Kirov,
school administrator

for the Moscow Central District.

This is our team's coach,
Vesales Nanev.

May I present Mr. Samuels.

- Dr. Samuels.
- Ah, Dr. Samuels.

Charmed.

- Mr. Moore.
- Hi.

- Ms. Meara.
- How do you do?

- Ah.
- Excuse me.

- I'm smitten.
- Oh.

Spasibo.

Ladies and gentlemen

this year's
Moscow academic team.

[instrumental music]

[crowd applauding]

You're on the team.

It's going to be
a piece of cake.

Eat borscht, Ivan.

Darlene, that's
a whole new team.

Excuse me, this is not the team
we played against in New York.

- These are all different kids.
- Yes, you're right.

Well, where are the kids
we played against in New York?

Unfortunately,
none of them were good enough

to make this team.

- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.

[speaking in foreign language]

- What does that mean?
- Uh-oh.

Oh.

[theme music]

[music continues]

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Let it begin ♪♪

(Charlie)
Next, on "Head Of The Class.."

Gang, you need to rest.

- That's good thinking.
- Is this a lucky break or what?

Oh, you're not kidding.
Lead me to that pillow.

Are you crazy?

Do you realize what's waitin'
for us at the space museum?

Yeah, trouble.

Dennis, we'd never
make it back.

My cousin's comin' to pick me up
in a few minutes.

- I'm gonna see my whole family.
- Ah, that's great, Eric.

Yeah, it's gonna be great
for my article

in Scholastic Digest, too.

"A day in the life
of a Russian family."

- Day?
- Yeah.

T-the bus leaves
in three hours.

Well, Mr. Moore, I'll be back.

It was nice meeting you.

I hope you go back
where you came from, soon.

Oh, N-Natasha!

Natasha, I was only kidding!
Would you come on?

Sonya, I-I'm sorry about that.

I-I didn't know that y-you--

Oh, no, oh, no,
it's not your fault.

Wait, no, wait, girls! Sonya!

Girls!

Well, how do we get back?

[indistinct chatter]

All I'm saying is that,
two, maybe three

of our members are missing.

We want the right
to bring him into

the game as soon
as they get here.

- Mm, nyet, nyet, nyet.
- Da, da, da.

- Nyet, nyet, nyet.
- Give me a second.

- Nyet, nyet, nyet
- Da, da, dum.

[indistinct chatter]

Arvid, Arvid.
Cops! Cops! Cops!

'They're lookin' at us.'

- Maybe they speak English.
- Yeah. W-wait.

- What?
- No.

They're after us.
They're after us, Arvid.

Natasha turned us in.

- No!
- Yup.

Yup, I could see
it right in the eye.

They're gonna send us
to Lubyanka Prison.

- Prison?
- Or Siberia.

- Siberia!
- We better split up.

Look, you go that way,
I'm gonna go this way.

- Okay.
- I love you, buddy.

Me too.

[instrumental music]

[crowd applauding]

[indistinct chatter]

[buzzer buzzing]

That's correct!

[applauding]

Is this how it ends?

Our team going down the tubes

and me longing for the sight
of Eric and Dennis and Arvid?

Oh, Arvid!

[speaking in foreign language]

Hey, come on!
Hey, help me out, guys!

Help! Hey!
Oh, this is just like New York!