All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S02E22_2

[theme music]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Okay, in the few minutes
we have remaining

I'd like to propose uh, a new
project.

I think you'll find it
an exciting way

to look at history, okay?

- Okay.
- Try this.

Who are the people who inspired

the historical figures
that we study?

- Alan?
- Who cares?

Who cares?

How can knowing that be

of any value to anyone

unless they're in the center box
at "Hollywood Squares?"

Not that I enjoy
agreeing with Alan

Mr. Moore, but he's right.

- 'Oh.'
- Okay.

Lo-look, folks,
we have discussed this

time and again.

History is not made up

simply of places and facts.

It's made up of people.

I mean, who..

Who made Roosevelt, Roosevelt?

Who turned Jack Kennedy
into John F. Kennedy?

Who turned Michael Jackson
into Diana Ross?

I mean, I'm just trying
to point out that

even major historical figures

have people known and unknown
who inspired them.

Look, look at
your own life, okay?

Everybody, I mean..

[chuckles]
Everyone was inspired
by someone.

Well, who inspired you,
Mr. Moore?

(all)
Yeah.

Actually, it was my uncle.

Charlie. I was named after him.

I mean, he was a great guy.
He was really wild.

He was vibrant and funny

and he was full of tricks.

He was the one
that encouraged me

to leave Weiser, Idaho

and get out into the world.

He..

He-he ran this
traveling carnival

that he won in a Crap game.

And one summer..

...he took me with him.

And for the first time

I began to see
what America was about.

[instrumental music]

He's been dead about 20 years.

But I, I still picture him.

Mr. Moore?

Remember us down here
on the planet Earth?

Right.

Well...um,
here's that assignment.

Thirty famous people.

I wanna know
who inspired them

and I'd like to know by Monday.

- Monday?
- Oh!

- 'Come on.'
- You're kidding.

- I am?
- Mr. Moore, please.

We have finals coming up.

We don't have time to waste

playing Trivial Pursuit.

Yeah, Mr. Moore. Come on,
that's really not fair.'

- We have finals coming up.
- Other papers, too.

Well, I'm assigning it,
so you get to do it.

- So get to pick up a list.
- Come on. It's not fair.

[indistinct chatter]

[sighs]

Tell you, Uncle Charlie.

It is like this
so often lately, I-I..

I-I keep trying to
open 'em up, you know

but I'm just not getting
through to 'em like I used to.

[instrumental music]

- Goodnight, everyone.
- Goodnight, Charlie.

Oh, uh, Charlie,
Dr. Samuels wanted to see you.

Oh, darn. He missed me.

There you are, Mr. Moore.

Your semester evaluations
of the IHP were due today.

Didn't you see them?
I-I put them in your mailbox.

You put half of them
in my mailbox.

- Where is the other five?
- Tomorrow.

You can't tell me you read
the first five already.

That's beside the point.

We're talking here
about respect for my orders.

Capeesh?
What does it say on that door?

"Rincipal."

Huh?

What happened to my 'P?'

Someone stole my 'P.'

Calm down, Dr. Samuels.

We will get you another 'P.'

Mr. Moore,
I know you're thinking

you're doing us all a big favor
by teaching around here.

But it would be nice
if you did your work on time.

Crying out loud.

You know, I've just about
had it with him

and this job and everything.

Uh, Charlie, everybody
gets grumpy before finals.

Ha. No.
No, I'm talking beyond grumpy.

This is adios, amigos.

Hey, whoa.

We're getting just an
incy-wincy bit sensitive here.

- Aren't we?
- Uncle Charlie.

Please tell me.
What am I doing here?

I didn't come to New York to

to be a permanent
substitute teacher.

Well, I know, you came here

so you could take
your clothes off on stage

and dance naked
in front of people.

That-that was just one show.
"Hair."

I mean, it was the '60s.

I wish you could've seen
some of my later work.

I saw it, I saw it.
We see everything up there.

Not that we wanna see
everything up there.

God, I miss junk food. Hm.

I mean, oh, God!
I miss junk food.

The family always
called you the black sheep.

Ho-how did you get in up there?

Fake ID.

Honey, if I had a body..

Look, kid, you belong here.

You're a natural-born teacher.

You were always a teacher,
even when you were little.

[instrumental music]

(Uncle Charlie)
Okay, kiddo.

(Uncle Charlie)
'My deal, here we go.'

Down and dirty, hey, wait
a minute, what's going on here?

Yep, that's a light deck.
You holdin' out on me?

- No.
- Look at that.

Got an ace
right behind your ear.

I'll say, that's a wild.

Now, as I was saying before

you will find that the girls

in Chicago and New York

are quite a bit different

from the farm girls around here.

They will actually
allow you to kiss them

without putting an engagement
ring on their fingers.

- Uncle Charlie!
- Wha-wha-what?

You're dealing
from the bottom of the deck.

I sincerely hope so,
this takes a lot of practice.

- You'd cheat your own nephew?
- Charles!

I'm trying to show you
how to do this.

You wanna get ahead in life

you gotta have
a little bit of an edge.

- Not by cheating.
- Wise up, Chuckie.

It's a cruel world out there.

Everybody cheats a little bit.
Play those.

Winning isn't everything.

It's how you play the game.

If a guy has gotta cheat, he's
lower than a lizard's liver.

If I want to be preached at
on a Sunday morning

I will go to church.

Alright. Off the top.
Here we go.

Aren't you a picky,
picky player?

I hate that in a player.

I wasn't that preachy, was I?

You? Are you kidding?

The only thing that saved you

from being a TV evangelist
was you had ethics.

Then, of course,
there wasn't any TV.

Good. You're a teacher.
Don't fight it.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, hey. Hey!

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Mr. Moore, if I could
speak for the others..

Considering our workload
to prepare for finals

could you please rescind
the assignment you gave us?

Uh-huh. Mr. Moore,
you're not being fair.

Not fair?

Need I remind you?
I am the teacher.

- You are the students.
- 'Come on.'

Mr. Moore, be reasonable.

Yeah, but we still
won't have time to do this

and study for our finals.

[indistinct chatter]

That's it, Uncle Charlie,
I have had it.

Chuckie! You are overreacting.

Oh, no.

I-I've, I've taught them
everything I can teach them.

I've used up my usefulness.

Uncle Charlie,
it's time for me to get back

where I really belong.

Where is that? Bartending?

- No, the theatre.
- Oh, the theatre.

You just cannot wait

to take your clothes off
in public, can you?

Uncle Charlie,
I-I think you have

a little misconception here.

I mean, there is more to theatre
than just getting undressed.

Yeah, I know. You told me
that time, backstage.

Matter of fact, that's
the last time we saw each other.

Remember you were with
that girl, what's her name?

That girl,
that girl you later married.

Why?

You know, Uncle Charles..

Uncle Charles?

I could just feel your vibes
out there in the audience.

In fact, during
"Good Morning Starshine"

I looked out,
and I could see your aura.

You peeped at my aura?
We hardly know each other.

What did I tell you,
Uncle Charlie?

- Is she heavy or what?
- She's not that heavy.

I saw her in the nude scene.

So, um, did you get
into the message of the play

or were you too uptight
to go with the flow?

Too uptight to go.

Well, I, I thought I was flowing
along pretty good there.

- Far out.
- Out of sight.

You know,
if we're gonna have peace

we need to come together.

The play says it all.

"Let The Sun Shine In."

I mean, is there anything
groovier than that?

Andrea majored
in Philosophy at Antioch.

Okay, let's leave it at that.

Okay, I was, I was young.

And that's the life
you wanna get back to?

The life of the theatre, yes.

Right now, it is.

[indistinct chatter]

Look, an assignment

is an assignment.

'If you don't want to do it'

as I've always told you

the choice is yours.

I can hand out F's
with the best of them.

- Oh, Mr. Moore.
- Alright, let's begin.

I believe the next president
in the order of succession

is William Howard Taft.

Yeah, just like that, Jack.

Yeah, you got it.

Goodnight..

Well, congratulations,
Dr. Samuels.

Finally doing some work
on principle.

My 'P' is my problem, okay?

Now, here's your problem.

These evaluations
are unacceptable.

You found something
critical to say

about every kid in the IHP.

Yeah. Well, they're brilliant
but they're not perfect.

We could all use
a little improvement.

Aha, well, this is not the sort
of thing that you write down

for the school board to see.
Change these.

Dr. Samuels, I'm not gonna
change my evaluations.

Okay, if you don't
change them, I will.

Dr. Samuels.

You know what, I don't care.
You do whatever you want.

Change 'em, don't change 'em.
Fine.

I-I can't go on fighting.

Next week is the end
of the semester.

After that, I promise you,
we'll never argue again.

- Finally, changing your ways.
- 'No.'

I'm changing my occupation.

Starting next semester,
you need a new history teacher.

[instrumental music]

[whistling]

Hey, what's going on out here?

Bird drag racing?

- How's breakfast coming, Chuck?
- Almost ready.

Ah, good. Thank you, my boy.

Hey, move, Charlie,
move, Charlie.

I will let an expert do it.

Huh? You call this ready?

Where's your bacon?
Where's your sausage?

Well, I don't have any
of that stuff up, Charlie.

You don't have any?

You know how I was looking
forward to bacon and sausage?

We don't get any pork up there.

- I'm sorry!
- It's alright.

Well, now you're
insanely happy, huh?

So, what happens to your kids
in the IHP, then?

- Oh, they'll be fine.
- Oh, yeah?

They will.

Look. They're very bright,
Uncle Charlie. I..

Besides, I don't think
they're really interested

in what I wanna
teach them anymore.

Is that a fact?
So, uh, tell me something.

Who's gonna take care of 'em
after you've gone?

[sighs]
They'll get another teacher.

That easy, huh?

I happen to know
those kids chewed up

every sub thrown at 'em
before you arrived on the scene.

How did you know that?

What do you think
I'm doin' up there all day?

Getting coffee for God?

Look. Let me clue you in
on something.

Those kids are not
going to accept any sub

after you're gone.

Okay. I'll bite.

What do you think will happen?

So, this is the first day
of class, after your departure.

[bell rings]

Okay. So, who's gonna teach?

- Dorfman?
- Oh, no.

Okay. Okay.

Uh.. Hi!

Uh, y-y-you know me.

I'm Mr. Dorfman.

[chuckles]
You-you'll have to forgive me.
I, uh..

This history thing
is kinda new to me.

So, uh, where are we?

Ah! William Howard Taft!

Well, I-I think remember
a little about him.

He was a President
of the United States.

And-and if I remember,
he was a fat guy.

Whoa, whoa, wait, Dorfman,
I wanna write that down.

"He was a fat guy."

I don't want any
lip out of you, Mardian.

And take off those sunglasses.

(Dennis)
'What's wrong with sunglasses?'

What's going on here?

Read a comic book, bubba.

We've got finals to study for.

Look, I'm the teacher here,
I say what goes.

[laughing]

This is ridiculous.

It-it won't happen like this,
I mean

these kids would
never behave this way.

And-and there'll be
another teacher to replace me

the same way
that I replaced Mr. Thomas.

If you say so, Chuckie.

Gee-whiz, Uncle Charlie, I can't

live my whole life
for them.

[exhales]
They're gonna graduate, anyway.

I wouldn't always be around.

Yeah, but see,
that's a natural passing.

They know that.
They expect that.

If you just quit
on them now, they could..

Look..

You knew I was gonna enter

the old Pine Box Derby one day.

But you didn't expect me to go
when I did, did you?

You wanted me around,
at least for a little while.

So we could talk,
at times like these, right?

Yeah, right.

But I checked out
before you were ready.

And it changed
your whole life, remember?

Now, what do you think
it's gonna mean to these kids

if you just split up?

Uncle Charlie, that
is a completely different thing.

I am one of many teachers.

Oh! Is that so?

How'd you like to drop in
on their tenth reunion?

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Hail, hail!
The gang's all here.

(Arvid)
'Maria?'

- Maria!
- Arvid?

Hi, baby!

I-I didn't recognize you.

You look so, uh, available.

Well, what have you been doing?

Oh, you know,
uh, getting divorced

shopping, channeling,
aerobics.

(Arvid)
'Wh-what happened
to your career?'

(Maria)
Oh, I just kinda
forgot about it.

I mean, nothing else
seemed important anymore

after Mr. Moore left.

I know what you mean.

It didn't hit me
till three years out of college.

Then, life just seemed
to lose its zing.

That's why I left the space
program for my butcher shop.

[gasps]
You own a butcher shop, huh?

So, I was just bumming around,
looking for the meaning of life.

That's when I ran
into Jawaharlal.

I was telling fortunes
on the beach in the Caribbean.

He's good.

Told me I had no future.

So, now I shill for him.

Well, I-I guess
we all changed, when..

(Eric)
'Yeah, I should have
never married her.'

It's a disaster.

You are the disaster.

He just mopes around
the house all day.

'He won't write,
we're practically starving..'

...now that I intend
to give up mud wrestling.

Anybody wanna buy
a chicken farm?

[coughs]

Somehow, this makes sense to me.

Such a brilliant mind.

How could you be happy replacing

Vanna White
on "Wheel of Fortune?"

(Charlie)
'Janice?'

Everybody, look who's here.

My kids.

What happened?

Look at you!

You're all bums.

Uncle Charlie, it would
never turn out like this.

Believe me,
they are so ambitious.

They'll do just fine.

You don't have
to worry about that.

Come on, kid, I'm just
a figment of your imagination.

You're the one who's worried.

Okay, so, I'm a little worried.

Uh, I think that's natural.

But I-I-I can't go around

trying to solve
everybody else's problems.

You know, I got a life
of my own to live.

I got a little theatre company
in Newark to run and a..

Well, I told Samuels on Friday

and I'm gonna tell
the kids on Monday.

[instrumental music]

[bell rings]

[indistinct chatter]

- Good morning!
- Morning!

Okay, uh, before
we start class this morning

I'd like to say something.

'Over the weekend,
I did some thinking'

and, uh, I made some decisions

and I'd like
to share them with you.

First, um..

...I know that you have a lot
of serious cramming to do

in this coming week.

So, uh, compared to that,
I'm sure my little assignment

must seem, uh,
as one of you noted, trivial.

So, let's just forget
my assignment, okay?

Cram to your heart's delight.

- M-Mr. Moore?
- Yes.

We've already done
the assignment.

- 'Yeah.'
- 'Yes.'

After Friday,
we all talked it over

and we agreed
that we've been acting

like ungrateful brats.

Even I've been
less than perfect.

You've done a lot for us,
always encouraging us

to look at history
in a new way, and..

Well, I guess we started

to take you for granted.

Sorry.

(all)
'Sorry.'

And in addition
to doing the assignment

we also thought that we could
each tell you individually

the person who inspired
each of us most

the way your Uncle Charlie
inspired you.

And I thought
I'd be the one to start.

The person who's inspired me
the most...Charlie Moore.

Simone.

Charlie Moore.

Charlie Moore.

- Charlie Moore.
- Charlie Moore.

(Dennis)
'Mr. Moore.'

(Jawaharlal)
Mr. Moore.

Charlie Moore.

Charlie Moore.

Mick Jagger.

Charlie Moore.

So, what was it that
you wanted to share with us?

- Right.
- Yeah, tell us.

Well...uh, matter of fact

I was going to tell you that..

...I resigned last Friday.

- What?
- What?

- Why?
- You resigned?

Uh, lately, I feel like
I'm not getting through to you.

To, to get you to, to be open

to the alternatives
in your lives.

See, that's really
important to me.

To...to let you know that

winning isn't everything.

Well, we know that.

- Sometimes, we forget.
- 'Yeah.'

So do I.

Well, I-I-I spent most
of the weekend chatting..

...with a distant
relative and, uh..

[scoffs]

I realized how much
I miss theatre.

I also realized that
I derive a-a similar pleasure

and real satisfaction
from doing this.

And, uh..

...I would miss all of you.

So, I decided to withdraw
my resignation.

- Alright!
- Yeah!

I knew it.

Let's get back to the reason
we're all here, okay?

Uh, last Friday,
I think we left off

we were about to grapple
with William Howard Taft.

[instrumental music]

(Charlie)
'Okay, Taft.'

Someone once said,
"He was a fat guy."

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

(Uncle Charlie)
'Solitaire?'

Hey, let's play a man's game.

As I recall,
you, uh, liked poker.

Right, Bogey and Houston
got a hot game

goin' on upstairs later

but I can play a few hands.

Deal! You remember
how to deal, don't you?

Five cards off the top.

- Yeah, I remember five cards.
- Good.

- Okay, deal.
- Deal.

Deck...sounds a little light.

What?

Excuse me.

Kid, you're learnin'.

[theme music]

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