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1
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[theme music]
2
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So it is difficult to imagine
3
00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:23,462
the shock felt
by the British public
4
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,710
when King Edward VIII
announced his abdication
5
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,713
to marry the love of his life,
Wallis Simpson.
6
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:33,296
I've always thought that was the
most romantic event in history.
7
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:36,353
A king giving up
his throne for a woman.
8
00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:39,767
I wouldn't give a woman
my seat on the subway.
9
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:44,685
Of course, you wouldn't.
Where would you sleep at night?
10
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:48,229
Actually, marrying for love
is relatively trendy.
11
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:51,114
Until this century,
marriage was primarily
12
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:53,702
uh, an economic institution.
13
00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:57,328
Parents arranged marriages, uh,
often there was a dowry.
14
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:00,747
And even in India, uh,
the bride might come with
15
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:04,577
uh, a water buffalo, a chicken,
and a couple of jackasses.
16
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,424
He just described my
sister-in-law's family.
17
00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:13,296
Mr. Moore, are you trying to say
that our socio-economic system
18
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:16,181
evolved from the fact that
our forefathers didn't believe
19
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:18,889
in foreplay
with our foremothers?
20
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,770
Uh, I'm saying that their
concept of romantic love
21
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,520
might have been little
different from ours.
22
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:27,773
You know, that's right.
23
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,654
I asked my grandma
if she loved grandpa
24
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,491
and she said there was no word
in her language for love.
25
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:33,397
Aw..
26
00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:35,744
But there were nine words
for headache.
27
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,527
Thank you, Arvid.
28
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,615
I'd rather die than not have
love in my life.
29
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:44,210
As far as I'm concerned,
it's the only reason to marry.
30
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,457
Not in India, Simone.
31
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:49,088
Before I came here,
a marriage was arranged for me.
32
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,087
No way!
33
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,708
Though it does solve
one problem.
34
00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:53,764
You might meet somebody nice,
with no fuss, no muss
35
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:55,468
and well, let's face it,
no rejection.
36
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,798
Mm-hmm. And at least you don't
have to go through the hassle
37
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,434
of tryin' to meet new people.
38
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:00,720
Interesting people, right?
39
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:03,103
People we can relate to,
who has time
40
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:05,811
who knows where and who knows
which people to meet.
41
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,232
Well, but now I'm stuck, so--
42
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:10,940
I-I know that you're not
the world's most social group
43
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:13,482
but you're not living
in a vacuum.
44
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:16,356
There are other people out
there, and I'm sure that some
45
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:18,824
of them would like to meet
people like you.
46
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,825
[chuckles]
Well, tell me about it.
47
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,577
One of them came to my door
a few weeks ago.
48
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:26,250
She needed a nerd
for a scavenger hunt.
49
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,586
Mr. Moore, we have agendas.
50
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:37,761
We can't afford to spend our
time trying to meet new people.
51
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,800
Although, I did get lucky once,
with Martha Cabot.
52
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:42,215
You call that lucky?
53
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:45,683
Now, speaking of Martha Cabot,
what about all the people
54
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,975
that you meet at
your academic competitions.
55
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,099
I mean, the science fairs,
the debates you're in?
56
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:52,566
Well, we just compete,
and then we get on the bus
57
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,477
or they get on the bus,
and it's over.
58
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:58,945
Right! By the time our palms
stop sweating, they're gone.
59
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,868
Did it ever occur to you
that maybe their palms
60
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,117
are sweating too?
61
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,448
Well, this is a marriage
made in heaven.
62
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,453
Put your sweaty little palms
together.
63
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:06,575
Make contact!
64
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,541
[indistinct chatter]
65
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,581
Look, you have minds. Use them.
66
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:11,745
I.. You have a computer.
67
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,593
- Use it.
- Oh, hang on.
68
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:14,798
You're suggesting
a computerized
69
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:16,207
dating service for us?
70
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,676
I love it. Date a doofus.
71
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,223
- Come on.
- Not a dating service.
72
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,932
Merely a means of getting
acquainted with other students
73
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,733
like yourselves
from different high schools.
74
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,937
It's just a suggestion.
You don't have to do it.
75
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:32,648
Of course, I don't have to be
sympathetic to your problem
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00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,479
if you're doing
anything to solve it.
77
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,194
[indistinct chatter]
78
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:40,154
Yo! Guys, guys! Let's see it.
This is doable.
79
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:41,406
[indistinct chatter]
80
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:45,327
Ah, could we do it
on your own time, please?
81
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,288
[instrumental music]
82
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,457
(Dr. Samuels)
'So you're the new
teachers' union rep, huh?'
83
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,090
Let me tell you
the way we do things
84
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,667
around here, Mr. Moore.
85
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:59,551
The teachers complain
to their chapter leader.
86
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:02,890
"Too much this,
not enough that."
87
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,723
- Espresso?
- No, thank you.
88
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:08,853
- Cappuccino?
- No.
89
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:11,941
Cafe-au-lait.
90
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,148
No, merci.
91
00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:16,647
Anyway, the chapter leader
comes and tells me
92
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,861
"Too much this,
not enough that."
93
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:21,861
I say, "You're absolutely right.
I'll look into it."
94
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:25,584
Great. Now, what we need now
is a, a new coffeemaker
95
00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:26,826
for the teachers' lounge.
96
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,658
- I'll look into it.
- No. no.
97
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:32,374
I'm-I'm just asking you
to okay a requisition
98
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,245
for a new coffeemaker.
99
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,382
W-what's wrong
with the old one?
100
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:39,509
There is no old one. It's dead.
101
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,917
Okay, you got it.
102
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,216
Thank you.
103
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,009
Uh, so how long
does that take?
104
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,513
Uh, it usually takes
six to eight weeks.
105
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,595
- To get a new coffeemaker?
- 'No.'
106
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,600
Before they start
processing the request.
107
00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:55,614
But.. Wh-wh-what about..
What about this one?
108
00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:57,356
I mean, you got it in a week.
109
00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:01,528
Unfortunately, this was procured
with an administrative request.
110
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:05,239
Uh, as opposed to yours,
which was a faculty request.
111
00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:10,161
How long does
a faculty request take?
112
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,873
Don't hold your breath.
113
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,663
Well, that's outrageous.
114
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:17,206
You're absolutely right.
I'll look into it.
115
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,591
[instrumental music]
116
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,931
Okay, Arvid, we got your likes
and dislikes down.
117
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:27,296
Now, in ten words or less,
who are you?
118
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,716
Well, I'm, I'm lonely.
119
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,475
Uh, but outgoing.
120
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:35,597
Shy, yet assertive.
121
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:39,225
Uh.. Needy, and giving.
122
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:41,896
Unusual looking.
123
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,073
- Good.
- Yeah, that's right.
124
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,452
Though some say I'm handsome.
125
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:49,278
Arvid, this isn't gonna fly.
Um, let's go with, uh..
126
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:53,121
- Classy Manhattan intellectual.
- Yeah, yeah.
127
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:55,622
- Eclectic interests.
- Okay.
128
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:59,705
Uh, discreet. Maybe sensual.
129
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:04,133
Little witty. And, um..
130
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,053
- Desperate!
- 'Yeah.'
131
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:11,349
Girls! Girls! Girls!
Girls! Free computer time.
132
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,769
Who wants to be the first one
to line up for my computer?
133
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,478
No, thanks.
Not interested, Dennis.
134
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:19,558
Whatever life holds in store for
me is not on your floppy disk.
135
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,685
- Suit yourself. Darlene?
- Forget it, Dennis.
136
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:24,822
I don't believe in advertising
for love.
137
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:27,571
I do. Here.
138
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:28,873
- Sarah?
- Great.
139
00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:31,446
May as well cover all bases.
140
00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:32,622
Okay, oh, Jawaharlal
141
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:36,210
I realize you're
on the Indian layaway plan.
142
00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,455
But, uh.. Are you interested?
143
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:43,500
Why not? Besides, how can you
cheat on a five year old?
144
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,760
- Simone.
- No, thanks, Dennis.
145
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,471
I'm really not good
at blind dates.
146
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,931
Come on, Simone,
this program is the cutting edge
147
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,312
of male-female compatibility.
148
00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:56,058
I can guarantee you,
I'll find you a soulmate.
149
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:59,190
Hey! If you don't mind,
she's already met her soulmate.
150
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:02,188
It's just the question
of when it sinks in, right?
151
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,494
Okay, Dennis,
what do you need to know?
152
00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,316
Need to start
with your favorite things.
153
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:11,161
That would be, uh, "Raindrops on
roses or whiskers on kittens?"
154
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:14,791
I don't believe this.
155
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,367
You won't go out
on a date with me
156
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:18,582
but you're gonna go out with
some guy from Bronx Science
157
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:21,083
who eats bananas
with his mouth open?
158
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:23,245
All I'm doing is answering
a few questions.
159
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,844
What's the big deal?
160
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:26,709
[school bell ringing]
161
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:29,796
Okay. Ah, that's enough of
"The All-New Dating Game."
162
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,392
Back to the good ol'
game of dates.
163
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:33,097
I like to call it history.
164
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:35,057
[instrumental music]
165
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,693
Okay, Dennis, you've had enough
time. Give me a name!
166
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:44,189
Come on, Arvid, you can't rush
this kind of thing.
167
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,152
Romances aren't made overnight.
168
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:49,452
Dennis! A guy from Brooklyn Tech
called me. He sounds nice.
169
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:52,067
I may even try goin' out
with him. Thanks.
170
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:54,374
[laughs]
171
00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:57,448
Well, how come she found
someone so quickly?
172
00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:00,575
I'm more selective with you,
Arvid. I mean, come on!
173
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:03,583
There's not that many girls out
there who like Mr. Rogers.
174
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:10,216
Dennis! Dennis. I apologize.
175
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,548
I was certain
this computer thing was just
176
00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,553
another one of your fiascos.
177
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:18,765
But Muffy Van Pendleton
wants to meet me.
178
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:22,348
Um.. Uh, him too.
179
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,475
How come everybody is getting
fixed up except for me?
180
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:26,732
Hey, come on, Arvid.
I got you a date, remember?
181
00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:29,864
Right here, "5'9", blond,
math-freak, astronomy buff
182
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:32,072
chess-player," but no,
wasn't good enough for you.
183
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,033
It was a guy!
184
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,619
It doesn't mean
he was a bad person.
185
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,579
- Oh!
- Arvid, co..
186
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:42,159
Oh! Simone! Simone! I have found
you the perfect match.
187
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:45,376
Look at this. "Loves Yates,
Mahler, Jeanette."
188
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,418
Huh? Not only that.
189
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,300
You also both love
mung beans
190
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:51,467
and hate biker movies.
Could it be more perfect?
191
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:53,967
Um, Dennis,
I changed my mind.
192
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:56,010
I-I don't think I wanna go
through with this.
193
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:57,973
I just can't get used
to the idea of going out
194
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,184
with a stranger.
195
00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:04,314
Simone, deep down,
we're all strangers.
196
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:05,613
[indistinct]
197
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:08,356
I'd like to keep it that way.
198
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:13,112
Uh, Simone, I'm gonna have to
ask you to reconsider that.
199
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,454
No, Dennis,
that's my final decision.
200
00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,699
- Let me put it this way--
- Excuse me.
201
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,752
But judging by your description
you must be Dennis Blunden.
202
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,326
- That's right.
- The name's Oswald Bletch.
203
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:25,422
I'm here to meet
Simone Foster.
204
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:30,169
- You what?
- Is this timing perfect?
205
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:33,592
This lovely creature right here
happens to be Simone.
206
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,093
[laughs]
207
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,224
Wow! Simone!
208
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,011
Hubba hubba.
209
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,765
[hissing]
210
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:47,018
Uh, well,
now that you two have met
211
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,733
I suggest you get better
acquainted. I have to go now.
212
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:52,154
- Dennis!
- I have to go. Hi, Eric.
213
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:57,526
[chuckles]
I'm sure you two
will be very happy together.
214
00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:58,703
[laughs]
215
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,701
Hey, listen,
my mom is waitin' in the car
216
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:04,043
so I'll just run down
the vital stats for you.
217
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,870
Four point O average
at Bronx Science.
218
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,496
Astronomy club, debate
219
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:12,172
poetry club,
starter on the ping pong team.
220
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,049
Two years Arthur Murray.
221
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,391
Ballroom and disco.
222
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:22,926
Princeton, Yale and Harvard
all want me. How about you?
223
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:27,143
It was nice meeting you.
I hope we meet again someday.
224
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:30,396
- So, how's tonight?
- I don't think so.
225
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:31,979
Hey, Simone, look at this.
226
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:35,444
Two tickets
to the Kabuki Theater.
227
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,736
- I don't know.
- Simone.
228
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:40,450
These people came all
the way from Japan.
229
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:43,869
I'm having dinner
with my family.
230
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,581
Great! I'd love to meet them.
231
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,871
I'll sell the Kabuki tickets.
232
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,375
Family is important.
They should get to know me.
233
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,588
They're very shy.
You'd be uncomfortable.
234
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,378
Not to worry.
They'll love me.
235
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:58,262
It's a bad time.
We're having family problems.
236
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,090
Lean on me.
237
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:04,722
We're Dutch,
we don't lean.
238
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:07,015
Okay. Saturday night?
239
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,517
I can't. I'm having surgery.
240
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,652
On Saturday night?
241
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,398
Well, early,
but not that early.
242
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,821
Simone...look at me.
243
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:20,155
You're not comfortable
with lying, are you?
244
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,578
- No.
- No. So why lie?
245
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,959
You're not doing
anything Saturday night.
246
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,827
And you're not doing
anything tonight.
247
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,035
No, not really.
248
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,254
Great, I'll pick you up at 7:00.
249
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,455
Oswald!
250
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:37,924
Simone, one of my
greatest qualities
251
00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:39,505
is that I'm tenacious.
252
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:41,930
- Did you see the movie "Alien?"
- Yes.
253
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:44,049
Remember the creature
that stuck to the guy's face
254
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,426
and wouldn't get off?
Like this.
255
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:51,604
- Yes.
- That's me.
256
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:54,975
Right there. All the time.
257
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:57,534
In your face.
258
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,738
I thought I knew you
from somewhere.
259
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,109
So I'll see you tonight.
Hoo-hoo!
260
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:04,866
Oswald!
261
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,739
Uh-oh!
262
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,076
[instrumental music]
263
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:16,714
[instrumental music]
264
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,433
- Morning!
- Hi, guys.
265
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,347
Hey! Made contact
with Muffy last night.
266
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:25,756
She sounds like a real snob.
267
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:26,845
(all)
Aww.
268
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:29,429
I think we're gonna
hit it off.
269
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:33,352
So, how's things
with Oswald Belch?
270
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:35,555
That's Bletch,
and don't ask.
271
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:39,736
Oh, you didn't actually go out
with that poindexter, did you?
272
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,607
I don't want to talk about it.
273
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,704
Simone, you went out with him?
274
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:46,199
I didn't mean to.
275
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,162
Oh, what do you didn't mean to?
276
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,622
How do you accidentally
go out on a date?
277
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,583
He.. I-I can't describe him.
278
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,793
He showed up at my house
with these Kabuki tickets
279
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,035
and he wouldn't leave.
280
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:59,706
I tried to get rid of him.
My parents liked him.
281
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:03,425
And next thing you know,
we were at the Kabuki.
282
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:05,087
He spent half the night
under his chair
283
00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:07,135
looking for nasal spray.
284
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:11,684
Afterwards, he dragged me to a
coffee shop for a veggie burger
285
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:14,435
and the next thing you knew,
we were at the all-night
286
00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,858
Lina Wertmuller Film Festival.
287
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:18,817
Yup, and that's when
you realized
288
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,438
that the two of you were
perfectly matched.
289
00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:22,574
- Am I right?
- Wrong.
290
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:23,951
I hated every minute of it.
291
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:26,318
I couldn't wait
to get rid of him.
292
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,275
So, how'd you do it?
293
00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:31,075
I didn't. I agreed to go out
with him again tonight.
294
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,660
- Aw.
- Tonight?
295
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,785
- What?
- It's the only way he'd leave.
296
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,082
I don't believe this.
297
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,995
All this time,
you've been turning me down.
298
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,343
Now two nights in a row,
you're gonna go out
299
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,798
with the lead singer
of the Chipmunks?
300
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:46,720
Eric, I-I can say no to you.
I like you.
301
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,680
Is that supposed
to make some kind of sense?
302
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:54,560
You're strong. You're confident.
You can take rejection.
303
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:58,442
But this Oswald,
he's a manipulative, devious
304
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,320
annoying creep.
305
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,438
He's so pathetic,
I feel sorry for him.
306
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,655
I guess I just want
to let him down easy.
307
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:09,737
Simone, this is sick, guys like
him, you don't let down
308
00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:12,543
you push off.
309
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,158
Look, there are some people
who are a little more sensitive
310
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:16,705
about other people's feelings
than you are.
311
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,419
- Yeah. That's right.
- What about her feelings?
312
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,840
No, no, no.
What about my feelings, huh?
313
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:23,339
[indistinct chatter]
314
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:24,550
Excuse me.
315
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:28,430
Excuse me. I guess
I should've anticipated this.
316
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,349
Just naive, I guess.
317
00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:34,807
My, uh, suggestion to have you
meet other IHP kids via computer
318
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:38,810
seems to have degenerated
into Blunden's dating service.
319
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,024
And it's not working.
Am I right so far?
320
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,395
Oh, no, no. Mr. Moore,
it's working out great.
321
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,992
Simone won't go out on a date
with me, but she's gonna date
322
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,278
some guy she hates.
323
00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:48,911
I am not dating him.
324
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,278
You're goin' out
with him tonight?
325
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:52,454
- No, I'm not.
- You just said you were.
326
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:53,793
I know. But I've
got it all planned.
327
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:56,247
I'm gonna hide
at Maria's tonight.
328
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:58,368
- You are?
- Okay?
329
00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,415
- Fine.
- That's not gonna work!
330
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:03,839
Oh, sure, it'll work. That is a
very, very bright idea, Simone.
331
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,259
(Moore)
'Excuse me again.'
332
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:08,177
Uh, Simone, what's the matter
with telling this guy
333
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:10,217
that you're not interested?
334
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,850
[instrumental music]
335
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:16,348
Simone, you're going about this
the coward's way.
336
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,522
I know what I'm doing.
337
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:20,899
As long as I avoid Oswald,
I'll be okay.
338
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,398
Hello, you goddess of love.
339
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,240
- Hi, girls.
- Oswald..
340
00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:28,487
What are you doing here?
341
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,069
I just couldn't wait until
this evening to see you.
342
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:34,365
Besides, this way, we can make
the African Insect Exhibit
343
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,450
before it closes at 5:00.
344
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,825
I don't.. Oh..
We've got a lot of homework.
345
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,713
(both)
Homework, Oswald.
346
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,040
Homework? Homework's no problem.
347
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,796
I'll help you do it over
root beer and cheese doodles.
348
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,426
Well, what's the worse
that could happen?
349
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:55,719
Their kids could have
his voice and his looks.
350
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:58,848
- Dr. Sam--
- Ah-aah!
351
00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:00,642
If this is about
the teachers' lounge
352
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:01,936
believe me,
I've have a lot more
353
00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:03,479
important things
on my mind at the moment.
354
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,982
I'm sure you do, sir, and I know
your faculty does too.
355
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,566
So we can just drop those
as conversational topics.
356
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:13,491
Let's talk about, uh, a simple,
yet symbolic gesture
357
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,912
that only you could make.
358
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,370
Just slicing right through
the bureaucratic red tape
359
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:21,211
to get us that coffeemaker
for the teachers' lounge. Hmm?
360
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,958
Your way of saying
to your faculty members..
361
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,961
"Hey! I care."
362
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:29,295
Hey! I don't care.
363
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,049
[instrumental music]
364
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,234
Um, Mr. Moore?
365
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:44,193
If a girl told you
she loved you on Thursday
366
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:47,229
but that she fell out of love
with you on Friday
367
00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:48,984
would you believe her?
368
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:51,356
Is this about you and Oswald?
369
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,203
Yeah, I-I can't stand him
370
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:54,948
but I don't want
to hurt his feelings.
371
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,080
- Know what I mean?
- Yeah.
372
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,276
I mean, sometimes it's hard
373
00:17:57,326 --> 00:18:00,076
to give someone an honest no
for an answer.
374
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,750
Believe me,
I have received my fair share
375
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,750
of fake phone numbers
in my time.
376
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:07,252
I've given him every signal
girls give guys
377
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:09,054
to let him know
I'm not interested.
378
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:12,468
- But he just doesn't get it.
- Well, I understand that.
379
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,588
I mean, one thing I've learned
from my gifted students
380
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:17,465
is they don't always
get the message.
381
00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:21,432
I get it.
382
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,015
No more Miss Nice Guy.
383
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:26,190
I've gotta be brutally frank,
and just tell him
384
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,860
I don't want to see him anymore.
385
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:29,478
And I'm gonna do it tonight.
386
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,525
- Good.
- At dinner.
387
00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:34,148
- Good.
- After the ballet.
388
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,657
Okay, okay, okay, Alan.
I'll agree with you.
389
00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:46,582
Aaron Burr had a right to be
annoyed with Alexander Hamilton.
390
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,915
Not enough
to waste him in a duel.
391
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:53,336
Excuse me.
392
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,972
Don't you have a school
of your own to go to?
393
00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:57,088
Well, I'm working on a transfer
here to Fillmore
394
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,846
and I'm here
to drop off my grades.
395
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,637
- Oh, no!
- Yeah, yeah.
396
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,732
It'll be great being in class
with you guys
397
00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:08,107
and let me tell you something,
you could use the competition.
398
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,977
We could use some bug spray.
399
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:14,364
And I brought a little something
for my heart-mate.
400
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,573
It's a picture of me
for your locker.
401
00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:21,954
Oswald, there's something
I need to tell you.
402
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:25,164
Uh, Simone, don't you and Oswald
want to step out in the hall?
403
00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:26,825
(all)
Oh! No!
404
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:33,337
Oswald, it's over.
405
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,090
What's over?
406
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:40,050
- I fell in love with you.
- Of course, you did.
407
00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:41,465
But then,
I fell out of love with you.
408
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,353
I want you to know
I'll never forget you. Goodbye.
409
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:46,101
[chuckles]
You won't forget me.
410
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,443
I'll be sitting right next
to you in class.
411
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:50,728
(all)
Oh, no!
412
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,725
I haven't been fair to you.
413
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:59,355
See, the truth is, and I don't
want it to sound harsh
414
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:01,326
but I don't like you.
415
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:05,326
I never liked you. I seem to
have a problem saying no.
416
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,500
It's the only reason
I went out with you.
417
00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,459
When I told you I loved you once
418
00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:12,669
it was a lie
just to get rid of you.
419
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:15,671
Now, I want this
to be perfectly clear.
420
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:20,934
It's not because of another guy
or anything else.
421
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:23,179
I just don't like you.
422
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:28,234
Maybe we should seek counseling.
423
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:33,518
Oswald! Didn't you hear
what I said? It's over.
424
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,105
You realize of course
this could affect my decision
425
00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:41,655
to attend school here.
426
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:42,908
(all)
Yes.
427
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:44,990
Uh, Oswald, it's a tough break
428
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:47,575
but I sense you're a real
fighter deep down.
429
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:50,371
I know you'll-you'll
probably find someone else.
430
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,285
- I'll get over it.
- Sure.
431
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,924
I have superior
recuperative powers.
432
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:57,302
Oh, I'm sure you do.
433
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,379
I'll tell you somethin' else.
434
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:01,843
This computer dating
is a crock anyway.
435
00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:03,965
Dennis, I want
my ten bucks back.
436
00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:05,892
What?
437
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:09,351
Look, Ozzie, I got you the date.
I don't guarantee results.
438
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,903
- I want it back.
- In your dreams.
439
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,727
Did you see the movie "Alien?"
440
00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,072
Remember the creature
that stuck to the guy's face
441
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,238
and wouldn't get off, like this?
442
00:21:19,736 --> 00:21:24,526
That's me! Right there!
All the time.
443
00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:27,544
Simone, I'm out of your face.
444
00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:29,497
And I'm into his.
445
00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:42,376
Wow! What a nerd.
446
00:21:47,889 --> 00:21:52,269
Dennis, you sold me to him
for $10?
447
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,191
Personally, Simone, I thought
you were worth a lot more
448
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:57,320
but the market's a little
soft right now.
449
00:21:57,357 --> 00:21:58,687
(all)
Oh, Dennis.
450
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:02,074
Dennis, that is not the point,
and you know it.
451
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:05,492
Now, my suggestion
was simply an attempt
452
00:22:05,532 --> 00:22:08,202
to expand everybody's
social horizons
453
00:22:08,243 --> 00:22:10,953
not to establish
a profit-making enterprise.
454
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,496
And I'm sorry
that it turned out this way.
455
00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:16,630
No, no, no. Wait a second,
Mr. Moore. It wasn't all bad.
456
00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:20,048
Yeah. Some of us met some
pretty nice people.
457
00:22:20,088 --> 00:22:21,918
Mm-hmm. And just think..
458
00:22:21,965 --> 00:22:24,755
...Muffy Van Pendleton
paid money to meet me.
459
00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:26,301
I'm thrilled.
460
00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:31,434
Sorry, Alan, Muffy stopped
payment on her check.
461
00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:37,515
[instrumental music]
462
00:22:40,484 --> 00:22:42,074
[slurping]
463
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:47,621
I tell you, this machine makes
464
00:22:47,657 --> 00:22:50,617
a great cup of coffee
every time.
465
00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:52,250
No, thanks.
466
00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:54,917
Time to talk about
the teachers' union.
467
00:22:54,956 --> 00:22:56,116
I have here a list of items
468
00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,416
we'll be discussing
in our next meeting.
469
00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:58,589
I thought
I'd give you the chance
470
00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:01,207
to preview the agenda.
471
00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:04,974
Class sizes.
Teachers' schedule.
472
00:23:05,008 --> 00:23:09,178
New coffeemaker.
Unnecessary faculty meetings.
473
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:10,931
New coffeemaker.
474
00:23:10,972 --> 00:23:12,892
- Administrator rating system.
- What?
475
00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:15,773
Oh, we're gonna start rating the
administrators including you.
476
00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:18,441
- You gotta be kidding.
- No, no. Where was I?
477
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,110
Uh.. Docking the paychecks.
478
00:23:20,148 --> 00:23:22,108
New coffeemaker.
Lunch hour duty.
479
00:23:22,150 --> 00:23:26,700
- Alright! You win. Take it!
- Thank you very much.
480
00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:35,790
Incidentally, if you could order
about a dozen more
481
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:36,791
of these little cups.
482
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:39,542
Wait, wait, wait a minute!
483
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,459
[theme music]
36694
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