All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S02E20_2

[theme music]

So it is difficult to imagine

the shock felt
by the British public

when King Edward VIII
announced his abdication

to marry the love of his life,
Wallis Simpson.

I've always thought that was the
most romantic event in history.

A king giving up
his throne for a woman.

I wouldn't give a woman
my seat on the subway.

Of course, you wouldn't.
Where would you sleep at night?

Actually, marrying for love
is relatively trendy.

Until this century,
marriage was primarily

uh, an economic institution.

Parents arranged marriages, uh,
often there was a dowry.

And even in India, uh,
the bride might come with

uh, a water buffalo, a chicken,
and a couple of jackasses.

He just described my
sister-in-law's family.

Mr. Moore, are you trying to say
that our socio-economic system

evolved from the fact that
our forefathers didn't believe

in foreplay
with our foremothers?

Uh, I'm saying that their
concept of romantic love

might have been little
different from ours.

You know, that's right.

I asked my grandma
if she loved grandpa

and she said there was no word
in her language for love.

Aw..

But there were nine words
for headache.

Thank you, Arvid.

I'd rather die than not have
love in my life.

As far as I'm concerned,
it's the only reason to marry.

Not in India, Simone.

Before I came here,
a marriage was arranged for me.

No way!

Though it does solve
one problem.

You might meet somebody nice,
with no fuss, no muss

and well, let's face it,
no rejection.

Mm-hmm. And at least you don't
have to go through the hassle

of tryin' to meet new people.

Interesting people, right?

People we can relate to,
who has time

who knows where and who knows
which people to meet.

Well, but now I'm stuck, so--

I-I know that you're not
the world's most social group

but you're not living
in a vacuum.

There are other people out
there, and I'm sure that some

of them would like to meet
people like you.

[chuckles]
Well, tell me about it.

One of them came to my door
a few weeks ago.

She needed a nerd
for a scavenger hunt.

Mr. Moore, we have agendas.

We can't afford to spend our
time trying to meet new people.

Although, I did get lucky once,
with Martha Cabot.

You call that lucky?

Now, speaking of Martha Cabot,
what about all the people

that you meet at
your academic competitions.

I mean, the science fairs,
the debates you're in?

Well, we just compete,
and then we get on the bus

or they get on the bus,
and it's over.

Right! By the time our palms
stop sweating, they're gone.

Did it ever occur to you
that maybe their palms

are sweating too?

Well, this is a marriage
made in heaven.

Put your sweaty little palms
together.

Make contact!

[indistinct chatter]

Look, you have minds. Use them.

I.. You have a computer.

- Use it.
- Oh, hang on.

You're suggesting
a computerized

dating service for us?

I love it. Date a doofus.

- Come on.
- Not a dating service.

Merely a means of getting
acquainted with other students

like yourselves
from different high schools.

It's just a suggestion.
You don't have to do it.

Of course, I don't have to be
sympathetic to your problem

if you're doing
anything to solve it.

[indistinct chatter]

Yo! Guys, guys! Let's see it.
This is doable.

[indistinct chatter]

Ah, could we do it
on your own time, please?

[instrumental music]

(Dr. Samuels)
'So you're the new
teachers' union rep, huh?'

Let me tell you
the way we do things

around here, Mr. Moore.

The teachers complain
to their chapter leader.

"Too much this,
not enough that."

- Espresso?
- No, thank you.

- Cappuccino?
- No.

Cafe-au-lait.

No, merci.

Anyway, the chapter leader
comes and tells me

"Too much this,
not enough that."

I say, "You're absolutely right.
I'll look into it."

Great. Now, what we need now
is a, a new coffeemaker

for the teachers' lounge.

- I'll look into it.
- No. no.

I'm-I'm just asking you
to okay a requisition

for a new coffeemaker.

W-what's wrong
with the old one?

There is no old one. It's dead.

Okay, you got it.

Thank you.

Uh, so how long
does that take?

Uh, it usually takes
six to eight weeks.

- To get a new coffeemaker?
- 'No.'

Before they start
processing the request.

But.. Wh-wh-what about..
What about this one?

I mean, you got it in a week.

Unfortunately, this was procured
with an administrative request.

Uh, as opposed to yours,
which was a faculty request.

How long does
a faculty request take?

Don't hold your breath.

Well, that's outrageous.

You're absolutely right.
I'll look into it.

[instrumental music]

Okay, Arvid, we got your likes
and dislikes down.

Now, in ten words or less,
who are you?

Well, I'm, I'm lonely.

Uh, but outgoing.

Shy, yet assertive.

Uh.. Needy, and giving.

Unusual looking.

- Good.
- Yeah, that's right.

Though some say I'm handsome.

Arvid, this isn't gonna fly.
Um, let's go with, uh..

- Classy Manhattan intellectual.
- Yeah, yeah.

- Eclectic interests.
- Okay.

Uh, discreet. Maybe sensual.

Little witty. And, um..

- Desperate!
- 'Yeah.'

Girls! Girls! Girls!
Girls! Free computer time.

Who wants to be the first one
to line up for my computer?

No, thanks.
Not interested, Dennis.

Whatever life holds in store for
me is not on your floppy disk.

- Suit yourself. Darlene?
- Forget it, Dennis.

I don't believe in advertising
for love.

I do. Here.

- Sarah?
- Great.

May as well cover all bases.

Okay, oh, Jawaharlal

I realize you're
on the Indian layaway plan.

But, uh.. Are you interested?

Why not? Besides, how can you
cheat on a five year old?

- Simone.
- No, thanks, Dennis.

I'm really not good
at blind dates.

Come on, Simone,
this program is the cutting edge

of male-female compatibility.

I can guarantee you,
I'll find you a soulmate.

Hey! If you don't mind,
she's already met her soulmate.

It's just the question
of when it sinks in, right?

Okay, Dennis,
what do you need to know?

Need to start
with your favorite things.

That would be, uh, "Raindrops on
roses or whiskers on kittens?"

I don't believe this.

You won't go out
on a date with me

but you're gonna go out with
some guy from Bronx Science

who eats bananas
with his mouth open?

All I'm doing is answering
a few questions.

What's the big deal?

[school bell ringing]

Okay. Ah, that's enough of
"The All-New Dating Game."

Back to the good ol'
game of dates.

I like to call it history.

[instrumental music]

Okay, Dennis, you've had enough
time. Give me a name!

Come on, Arvid, you can't rush
this kind of thing.

Romances aren't made overnight.

Dennis! A guy from Brooklyn Tech
called me. He sounds nice.

I may even try goin' out
with him. Thanks.

[laughs]

Well, how come she found
someone so quickly?

I'm more selective with you,
Arvid. I mean, come on!

There's not that many girls out
there who like Mr. Rogers.

Dennis! Dennis. I apologize.

I was certain
this computer thing was just

another one of your fiascos.

But Muffy Van Pendleton
wants to meet me.

Um.. Uh, him too.

How come everybody is getting
fixed up except for me?

Hey, come on, Arvid.
I got you a date, remember?

Right here, "5'9", blond,
math-freak, astronomy buff

chess-player," but no,
wasn't good enough for you.

It was a guy!

It doesn't mean
he was a bad person.

- Oh!
- Arvid, co..

Oh! Simone! Simone! I have found
you the perfect match.

Look at this. "Loves Yates,
Mahler, Jeanette."

Huh? Not only that.

You also both love
mung beans

and hate biker movies.
Could it be more perfect?

Um, Dennis,
I changed my mind.

I-I don't think I wanna go
through with this.

I just can't get used
to the idea of going out

with a stranger.

Simone, deep down,
we're all strangers.

[indistinct]

I'd like to keep it that way.

Uh, Simone, I'm gonna have to
ask you to reconsider that.

No, Dennis,
that's my final decision.

- Let me put it this way--
- Excuse me.

But judging by your description
you must be Dennis Blunden.

- That's right.
- The name's Oswald Bletch.

I'm here to meet
Simone Foster.

- You what?
- Is this timing perfect?

This lovely creature right here
happens to be Simone.

[laughs]

Wow! Simone!

Hubba hubba.

[hissing]

Uh, well,
now that you two have met

I suggest you get better
acquainted. I have to go now.

- Dennis!
- I have to go. Hi, Eric.

[chuckles]
I'm sure you two
will be very happy together.

[laughs]

Hey, listen,
my mom is waitin' in the car

so I'll just run down
the vital stats for you.

Four point O average
at Bronx Science.

Astronomy club, debate

poetry club,
starter on the ping pong team.

Two years Arthur Murray.

Ballroom and disco.

Princeton, Yale and Harvard
all want me. How about you?

It was nice meeting you.
I hope we meet again someday.

- So, how's tonight?
- I don't think so.

Hey, Simone, look at this.

Two tickets
to the Kabuki Theater.

- I don't know.
- Simone.

These people came all
the way from Japan.

I'm having dinner
with my family.

Great! I'd love to meet them.

I'll sell the Kabuki tickets.

Family is important.
They should get to know me.

They're very shy.
You'd be uncomfortable.

Not to worry.
They'll love me.

It's a bad time.
We're having family problems.

Lean on me.

We're Dutch,
we don't lean.

Okay. Saturday night?

I can't. I'm having surgery.

On Saturday night?

Well, early,
but not that early.

Simone...look at me.

You're not comfortable
with lying, are you?

- No.
- No. So why lie?

You're not doing
anything Saturday night.

And you're not doing
anything tonight.

No, not really.

Great, I'll pick you up at 7:00.

Oswald!

Simone, one of my
greatest qualities

is that I'm tenacious.

- Did you see the movie "Alien?"
- Yes.

Remember the creature
that stuck to the guy's face

and wouldn't get off?
Like this.

- Yes.
- That's me.

Right there. All the time.

In your face.

I thought I knew you
from somewhere.

So I'll see you tonight.
Hoo-hoo!

Oswald!

Uh-oh!

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

- Morning!
- Hi, guys.

Hey! Made contact
with Muffy last night.

She sounds like a real snob.

(all)
Aww.

I think we're gonna
hit it off.

So, how's things
with Oswald Belch?

That's Bletch,
and don't ask.

Oh, you didn't actually go out
with that poindexter, did you?

I don't want to talk about it.

Simone, you went out with him?

I didn't mean to.

Oh, what do you didn't mean to?

How do you accidentally
go out on a date?

He.. I-I can't describe him.

He showed up at my house
with these Kabuki tickets

and he wouldn't leave.

I tried to get rid of him.
My parents liked him.

And next thing you know,
we were at the Kabuki.

He spent half the night
under his chair

looking for nasal spray.

Afterwards, he dragged me to a
coffee shop for a veggie burger

and the next thing you knew,
we were at the all-night

Lina Wertmuller Film Festival.

Yup, and that's when
you realized

that the two of you were
perfectly matched.

- Am I right?
- Wrong.

I hated every minute of it.

I couldn't wait
to get rid of him.

So, how'd you do it?

I didn't. I agreed to go out
with him again tonight.

- Aw.
- Tonight?

- What?
- It's the only way he'd leave.

I don't believe this.

All this time,
you've been turning me down.

Now two nights in a row,
you're gonna go out

with the lead singer
of the Chipmunks?

Eric, I-I can say no to you.
I like you.

Is that supposed
to make some kind of sense?

You're strong. You're confident.
You can take rejection.

But this Oswald,
he's a manipulative, devious

annoying creep.

He's so pathetic,
I feel sorry for him.

I guess I just want
to let him down easy.

Simone, this is sick, guys like
him, you don't let down

you push off.

Look, there are some people
who are a little more sensitive

about other people's feelings
than you are.

- Yeah. That's right.
- What about her feelings?

No, no, no.
What about my feelings, huh?

[indistinct chatter]

Excuse me.

Excuse me. I guess
I should've anticipated this.

Just naive, I guess.

My, uh, suggestion to have you
meet other IHP kids via computer

seems to have degenerated
into Blunden's dating service.

And it's not working.
Am I right so far?

Oh, no, no. Mr. Moore,
it's working out great.

Simone won't go out on a date
with me, but she's gonna date

some guy she hates.

I am not dating him.

You're goin' out
with him tonight?

- No, I'm not.
- You just said you were.

I know. But I've
got it all planned.

I'm gonna hide
at Maria's tonight.

- You are?
- Okay?

- Fine.
- That's not gonna work!

Oh, sure, it'll work. That is a
very, very bright idea, Simone.

(Moore)
'Excuse me again.'

Uh, Simone, what's the matter
with telling this guy

that you're not interested?

[instrumental music]

Simone, you're going about this
the coward's way.

I know what I'm doing.

As long as I avoid Oswald,
I'll be okay.

Hello, you goddess of love.

- Hi, girls.
- Oswald..

What are you doing here?

I just couldn't wait until
this evening to see you.

Besides, this way, we can make
the African Insect Exhibit

before it closes at 5:00.

I don't.. Oh..
We've got a lot of homework.

(both)
Homework, Oswald.

Homework? Homework's no problem.

I'll help you do it over
root beer and cheese doodles.

Well, what's the worse
that could happen?

Their kids could have
his voice and his looks.

- Dr. Sam--
- Ah-aah!

If this is about
the teachers' lounge

believe me,
I've have a lot more

important things
on my mind at the moment.

I'm sure you do, sir, and I know
your faculty does too.

So we can just drop those
as conversational topics.

Let's talk about, uh, a simple,
yet symbolic gesture

that only you could make.

Just slicing right through
the bureaucratic red tape

to get us that coffeemaker
for the teachers' lounge. Hmm?

Your way of saying
to your faculty members..

"Hey! I care."

Hey! I don't care.

[instrumental music]

Um, Mr. Moore?

If a girl told you
she loved you on Thursday

but that she fell out of love
with you on Friday

would you believe her?

Is this about you and Oswald?

Yeah, I-I can't stand him

but I don't want
to hurt his feelings.

- Know what I mean?
- Yeah.

I mean, sometimes it's hard

to give someone an honest no
for an answer.

Believe me,
I have received my fair share

of fake phone numbers
in my time.

I've given him every signal
girls give guys

to let him know
I'm not interested.

- But he just doesn't get it.
- Well, I understand that.

I mean, one thing I've learned
from my gifted students

is they don't always
get the message.

I get it.

No more Miss Nice Guy.

I've gotta be brutally frank,
and just tell him

I don't want to see him anymore.

And I'm gonna do it tonight.

- Good.
- At dinner.

- Good.
- After the ballet.

Okay, okay, okay, Alan.
I'll agree with you.

Aaron Burr had a right to be
annoyed with Alexander Hamilton.

Not enough
to waste him in a duel.

Excuse me.

Don't you have a school
of your own to go to?

Well, I'm working on a transfer
here to Fillmore

and I'm here
to drop off my grades.

- Oh, no!
- Yeah, yeah.

It'll be great being in class
with you guys

and let me tell you something,
you could use the competition.

We could use some bug spray.

And I brought a little something
for my heart-mate.

It's a picture of me
for your locker.

Oswald, there's something
I need to tell you.

Uh, Simone, don't you and Oswald
want to step out in the hall?

(all)
Oh! No!

Oswald, it's over.

What's over?

- I fell in love with you.
- Of course, you did.

But then,
I fell out of love with you.

I want you to know
I'll never forget you. Goodbye.

[chuckles]
You won't forget me.

I'll be sitting right next
to you in class.

(all)
Oh, no!

I haven't been fair to you.

See, the truth is, and I don't
want it to sound harsh

but I don't like you.

I never liked you. I seem to
have a problem saying no.

It's the only reason
I went out with you.

When I told you I loved you once

it was a lie
just to get rid of you.

Now, I want this
to be perfectly clear.

It's not because of another guy
or anything else.

I just don't like you.

Maybe we should seek counseling.

Oswald! Didn't you hear
what I said? It's over.

You realize of course
this could affect my decision

to attend school here.

(all)
Yes.

Uh, Oswald, it's a tough break

but I sense you're a real
fighter deep down.

I know you'll-you'll
probably find someone else.

- I'll get over it.
- Sure.

I have superior
recuperative powers.

Oh, I'm sure you do.

I'll tell you somethin' else.

This computer dating
is a crock anyway.

Dennis, I want
my ten bucks back.

What?

Look, Ozzie, I got you the date.
I don't guarantee results.

- I want it back.
- In your dreams.

Did you see the movie "Alien?"

Remember the creature
that stuck to the guy's face

and wouldn't get off, like this?

That's me! Right there!
All the time.

Simone, I'm out of your face.

And I'm into his.

Wow! What a nerd.

Dennis, you sold me to him
for $10?

Personally, Simone, I thought
you were worth a lot more

but the market's a little
soft right now.

(all)
Oh, Dennis.

Dennis, that is not the point,
and you know it.

Now, my suggestion
was simply an attempt

to expand everybody's
social horizons

not to establish
a profit-making enterprise.

And I'm sorry
that it turned out this way.

No, no, no. Wait a second,
Mr. Moore. It wasn't all bad.

Yeah. Some of us met some
pretty nice people.

Mm-hmm. And just think..

...Muffy Van Pendleton
paid money to meet me.

I'm thrilled.

Sorry, Alan, Muffy stopped
payment on her check.

[instrumental music]

[slurping]

I tell you, this machine makes

a great cup of coffee
every time.

No, thanks.

Time to talk about
the teachers' union.

I have here a list of items

we'll be discussing
in our next meeting.

I thought
I'd give you the chance

to preview the agenda.

Class sizes.
Teachers' schedule.

New coffeemaker.
Unnecessary faculty meetings.

New coffeemaker.

- Administrator rating system.
- What?

Oh, we're gonna start rating the
administrators including you.

- You gotta be kidding.
- No, no. Where was I?

Uh.. Docking the paychecks.

New coffeemaker.
Lunch hour duty.

- Alright! You win. Take it!
- Thank you very much.

Incidentally, if you could order
about a dozen more

of these little cups.

Wait, wait, wait a minute!

[theme music]