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1
00:00:00,375 --> 00:00:02,955
[theme music]
2
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[music continues]
3
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[instrumental music]
4
00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:20,788
[indistinct chatter]
5
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A car? Nobody drives
a car in New York.
6
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Yeah? Then explain
all that traffic out there.
7
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Why did you buy a car?
8
00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:30,466
Because we're gonna be
checking out colleges
9
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:31,467
every weekend.
10
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:34,048
And in order to do that,
you need a car.
11
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And we will, beauty.
12
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- We got a car!
- We got a car!
13
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:37,715
[giggling]
14
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,894
You, uh..
You-you bought a car?
15
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,773
- We're partners.
- It's an old--
16
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,900
It's a vintage
Volkswagen bug.
17
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,107
Four-on-the-floor,
tape deck, the works.
18
00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:49,477
Does the color match
your nail polish?
19
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:52,356
I bet it has a make-up mirror
on the sun visor.
20
00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:54,613
[screaming]
21
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,076
You're, uh,
you're sharing this car, huh?
22
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,987
We got it worked out perfectly
just for the two of us.
23
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:04,116
- You're certain of this?
- Well, yes. Why?
24
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,375
Well, I just wanna be certain
25
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,706
you know what you're
getting yourselves into.
26
00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:09,842
I think he has
a childhood memory
27
00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:12,089
that may apply.
28
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,052
[chuckles]
29
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:15,301
It so happens
that Eddie Stoner and I
30
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:18,223
did buy a '49 Merc together
when I was in high school
31
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:21,523
and it was terrific
for one week.
32
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,808
- One week?
- Yeah.
33
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,812
Ah, it seemed that
on the same night
34
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:28,694
we both had a...big date.
35
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:31,731
Now, he had to have the car,
I had to have the car.
36
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:36,066
So words were exchanged
and fists flew..
37
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,284
He lost a tooth
and I split a lip
38
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,954
and we both remained virgins.
39
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,453
Thanks for the warning,
Mr. Moore
40
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:46,746
but we're not two farm boys
from Weiser, Idaho.
41
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:49,841
That's right. We've got this
covered from every angle.
42
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,958
We've researched prices,
maintenance records
43
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,455
'insurance rates, parking.'
44
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:57,386
Not only that, but the car
we bought is special.
45
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,297
How so?
46
00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:01,104
The engine is in the back.
47
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,562
Dr. Samuels,
you wanted to see me?
48
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,774
Yes, I did.
How are you?
49
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,396
Fine. And you?
50
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,823
I'm gonna be just fine,
I'm gonna be just great.
51
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,322
No problem. Please.
52
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:21,414
So, uh, what did you wanna
talk to me about?
53
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,752
You're the only person
on the faculty, I feel
54
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,917
with the human understanding
55
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:28,326
to help me get through this.
56
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:32,214
Last night,
Mrs. Samuels and I had words.
57
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:35,423
She had the last two. "Get out."
58
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:38,761
Well, I'm sorry
to hear that, I..
59
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,391
I'm sure it's temporary,
it'll blow right over, you know.
60
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,139
I, I don't wanna be
late for class.
61
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:46,181
The woman and I have had
the same argument for months.
62
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,346
Well, why, why don't you and I
63
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:48,813
talk about this
further at lunch?
64
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:51,273
You're a modern guy.
65
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:53,984
Do you understand
the feminist movement?
66
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,488
Yeah, I mean, it's about
67
00:03:57,528 --> 00:04:00,948
pursuit of fulfillment,
careers, independence..
68
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:03,530
I mean, you have to be
sensitive to that.
69
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:04,446
I am.
70
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,504
I told her to get off
her fanny and get a job.
71
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,543
I don't think that's
what they have in mind.
72
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,343
[bell rings]
73
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,457
Wait!
74
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,883
You didn't ask me
where I was staying.
75
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,628
I hope this isn't inconvenient.
76
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,426
No, come on in.
77
00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:24,009
Here, I'll get that for you.
I got it, I got it.
78
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,555
[grunts]
79
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,114
So, this is my new home.
80
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,067
Uh, for one night.
81
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,318
- Can I get you a glass of wine?
- No, thank you.
82
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,321
Alcohol is a depressant.
83
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,913
I'm already there.
84
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,118
Well, that's something
that happens in most marriages
85
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:47,619
you know,
they're just minor setbacks.
86
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,002
What do you know?
87
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,618
You've only been married once,
this is my third.
88
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:57,046
[sniffs]
What is it about guys like us
and women, Mr. Moore, huh?
89
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,468
- Guys like us?
- Yeah. We're losers.
90
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:04,601
They chew us up
and they spit us out.
91
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,679
I read this.
92
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:10,944
Hated it.
93
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,517
It's so obvious
the brother-in-law
94
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,152
killed her, isn't it?
95
00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,108
Well, it is now.
96
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:20,362
Listen, I-I don't wanna
be any trouble.
97
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:22,363
I'll just sack out right here
on this couch, huh?
98
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,865
(Charlie)
'Fine, I'm gonna
hit the hay myself.'
99
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,827
Ah! Oh, boy!
100
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,198
Back pain, ha. Yeah.
101
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,785
Oh, acts up in times of stress.
102
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,169
But, hey, don't worry
about my back.
103
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:37,249
It'll be alright here.
104
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,673
Where are you going to sleep?
105
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,335
In my bed.
106
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,263
Ah, nice, nice.
107
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:48,136
So, I get the couch
and you get the bed?
108
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,811
(Charlie)
'Right.'
109
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,193
How's your back?
110
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,064
[instrumental music]
111
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,154
Well, so much
for Sarah Lawrence College.
112
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,993
Can't believe we never even made
it across the Triborough Bridge.
113
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,820
I never wanted to buy that car.
114
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,825
You did, too, and you know it.
115
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:10,037
That's not true,
I wanted the red one.
116
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:13,368
The red one was
a $50,000 Ferrari.
117
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:18,127
Well, at least it wouldn't
throw up its transmission.
118
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:21,339
Don't worry about it,
it can be fixed.
119
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,881
Good. I was hoping
you'd say that.
120
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,599
- I'll need about $200.
- What for?
121
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,347
- The mechanic.
- Mechanic?
122
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,560
You said you could
fix the car, remember?
123
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,520
I said I could fix it up,
remember?
124
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:38,150
New seat covers, my baby shoes
hanging from the mirror.
125
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:42,149
A cute little sign in the back
which says, "No bozos."
126
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:45,533
Sarah, I don't have any more
money to put in this car.
127
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:46,861
Oh, sure, tell me about it.
128
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:50,366
What am I, Gloria Vanderbilt?
What about you?
129
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,700
I have a dollar-sixty.
130
00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:57,168
Great. That will buy air
for the tires.
131
00:06:57,208 --> 00:07:00,038
Didn't see you girls
drive up this morning.
132
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,666
What happened,
you stripped the gears already?
133
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,803
[chuckles]
The car is fine.
134
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:10,013
We just didn't feel like
driving it to school.
135
00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:13,024
Yeah, so people like you
don't sit on it.
136
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,688
Sit on it?
I wouldn't sit in it.
137
00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:18,977
You couldn't sit in it.
138
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,901
You're just jealous
because you don't have a car.
139
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,532
Not yet, but when we do
get a set of wheels
140
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,070
we're not gonna buy
an old piece of junk
141
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,913
like two gullible
little school girls.
142
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,620
Yeah!
143
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,746
That's it.
It's a matter of honor.
144
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,080
We have to get it fixed.
145
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,415
Forget about fixing it,
let's just dump it.
146
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,751
We can't dump it
until it's fixed.
147
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:46,836
Don't you think I know that?
148
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,093
God, I hate owning a car.
149
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,014
Yeah, I know.
All we do is argue.
150
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,012
Mr. Moore was right.
151
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:52,513
This is destroying
our friendship.
152
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:56,135
Well, I'd be a lot friendlier
if it was at least running.
153
00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,187
I've got it.
154
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:02,018
- Timeshares.
- Timeshares?
155
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,364
We raise the money to fix it
156
00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:04,939
by selling timeshares
in the car
157
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,284
to everyone in the class.
158
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,449
Timeshares?
159
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,357
You know, it's like
a vacation house
160
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:10,525
in the Hamptons.
161
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:11,743
You pay X amount of dollars
162
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:13,782
you get to use it
X amount of days.
163
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:17,116
If we sell all our Xs,
we can't drive it.
164
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,960
We can't drive it now.
165
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,670
Right.
166
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:26,550
By that time, of course,
he'd been exposed as a liar.
167
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,509
Uh, Mr. Moore, may,
may I ask you
168
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:30,089
a question about the assignment?
169
00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:31,144
Sure.
170
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,887
Who is "Nichard Rixon?"
171
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,852
Late date last night, Mr. Moore?
172
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:41,233
With your new roommate?
173
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:44,150
Mr. Moore, I know
the rest of the class joins me
174
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:48,400
in wishing you and Dr. Samuels
every happiness.
175
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:51,454
Okay. Let's talk about this
for a minute.
176
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:55,158
Dr. Samuels is a man in trouble.
177
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,161
He's a man in pain.
178
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,753
A man who snores.
179
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:02,498
I, uh, I-I'm simply exercising
a little compassion
180
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,632
which I'm sure
any of you would do.
181
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:08,339
And right now, I think we should
respect his sense of privacy.
182
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,681
I doubt that
Dr. Samuels would appreciate
183
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,586
our discussing his problems.
184
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:15,885
Excuse me, Mr. Moore, I won't
take up a lot of your time.
185
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:19,180
I just wanted to talk
to my best and brightest kids.
186
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:22,555
Mrs. Samuels and I may have
had a parting of the ways.
187
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,903
Now, I know this is not easy
for you to hear
188
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:27,359
but these things
happen to adults.
189
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,400
The good news is, I'm okay.
190
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:36,083
I'm still your academic coach
and your principal
191
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:39,367
so concentrate on your studies
192
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,412
and please
193
00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:43,294
try not to worry
too much about me.
194
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,792
I don't know,
I'm pretty shook.
195
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:51,264
This is your personal life,
Dr. Samuels.
196
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,719
Why are you sharing it with us?
197
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:56,098
Because you are special,
because you're all compassionate
198
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,637
and you care.
199
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,430
So, what happened,
you caught her in the sack
200
00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:01,603
with another principal or what?
201
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:05,903
I want him re-tested,
he-he doesn't belong here.
202
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,611
Thank you, sir.
203
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:11,861
Charlie.
204
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:16,621
- I ordered a bed delivered.
- Bed?
205
00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:19,367
Well, it's just
a small cot, uh..
206
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,160
Pay the man, it's COD.
207
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,913
And don't worry about dinner
tonight, okay?
208
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,876
[chuckles]
I got it covered.
209
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,706
Like Spanish rice?
210
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:33,512
[instrumental music]
211
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:50,481
[Harold humming]
212
00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:53,534
Yeah, Harold, have you seen
this morning's "Time.."
213
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:57,157
[Harold humming]
214
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:02,950
[sighs]
215
00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:08,582
Good morning, Charlie.
216
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,206
Good morning, Harold.
217
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:13,012
What a great night!
218
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,417
I feel like a, a new person.
219
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:18,386
♪ Bum bum ba-ba-ba bum.. ♪♪
220
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:21,597
Who would have ever known
I could get by
221
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,639
on just an hour's sleep?
222
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,175
Not me.
223
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,846
Yeah, you-you know what's weird?
224
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,234
I almost got her out of my mind.
225
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:32,731
Not me, you know, I-I can't
stop thinking about her.
226
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,105
- Like now.
- Yeah?
227
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:38,111
I mean, I see her
waking up...alone.
228
00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:39,235
Teary-eyed.
229
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,701
I mean, she misses you, Harold.
230
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:44,622
Your sound, your smell
231
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,462
your body.
232
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,376
Do you really think so?
233
00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:56,419
Nah. It's over!
234
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:59,585
I heard it in her voice,
I saw it in her eyes.
235
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,965
Believe me, we are finished.
236
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,102
Don't say that.
237
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:06,679
Charlie, you're just going
to have to face it.
238
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,806
The marriage is over.
239
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:11,563
Please don't say that.
240
00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,265
I think it's time
for me to start
241
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:14,605
playing the field again, huh?
242
00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:18,030
Harold, playing the field
is not what it used to be.
243
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,360
Oh, don't give me that.
244
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:23,195
I see you come to school
in the morning with that glow.
245
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:26,952
[chuckles]
I want that glow!
246
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,748
- What're you doing?
- Oh, it's a new diet.
247
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,669
Worked for Rakim.
248
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,756
[grunting]
Hyah!
249
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:47,812
I'm coming back, Charlie.
All the way back.
250
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:52,020
Uhm. Hut-two, hut-two,
hut-two, hut-two..
251
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,612
[grunting]
252
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:56,937
[instrumental music]
253
00:12:58,402 --> 00:12:59,742
[instrumental music]
254
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:02,873
(Sarah)
'So for only $30'
255
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:06,327
you become part-owner
of the automobile.
256
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:09,158
And the automobile
is at your disposal
257
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,865
for one full day a week.
258
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:12,956
Is Monday available?
259
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,630
Monday, Jawaharlal, done.
260
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:17,169
- Who's next?
- Well, oh-oh, come, on.
261
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:20,133
You got to Jawaharlal,
because.. Well, he's vulnerable.
262
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:21,224
He's new, he's from India.
263
00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:23,548
He's dazzled
by American materialism.
264
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,894
In-in my world, the world of,
um, pure intellect..
265
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:30,227
...who needs a car?
266
00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:32,266
Arvid..
267
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,191
Picture this.
268
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,560
It's Saturday night.
269
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:38,936
With some miracle,
you've got a date with Lori.
270
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,574
Now, without a car
271
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,241
you're standing
in a crowded subway
272
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:45,239
face-to-face
with Bernard Gats.
273
00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:49,292
With a car, you're 50 miles
up the Hudson river.
274
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,498
You're parked.
275
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,788
You and she are all alone
276
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,002
and you're out of gas.
277
00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:58,252
- I'm in. Saturday night?
- You got it, Arvid.
278
00:13:58,295 --> 00:13:59,835
Nice fold, Arvid.
279
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,050
Stop it, Alan. Simone?
280
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,051
Oh. What can I possibly want
with a car?
281
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:07,013
Al-all my free time is taken up
with charity work.
282
00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:08,934
That's right.
283
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,143
Always thinking about yourself.
284
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,353
'You know,
those senior citizens'
285
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,313
you take to Central Park
every Tuesday?
286
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,773
Do you ever think about them?
287
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,483
'You think they might like
to take a trip'
288
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:18,733
up to the Adirondacks?
289
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:21,824
Or see the leaves
change colors in the Poconos?
290
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,241
Or maybe go up to Connecticut
291
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:27,119
and feel the snow
on their weather-beaten faces
292
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:30,487
just once, before..
293
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:31,996
No.
294
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:37,457
I've been so selfish.
295
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:39,131
I-I'll take a share.
296
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:41,299
Great. Janice.
297
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,258
A car?
298
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:46,639
My mother won't even let me
have a training bra.
299
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:50,388
So you'll grow into it.
300
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,521
Alright, forget it.
301
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,597
What's the matter
with you people? Can't you see?
302
00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:54,852
If they're trying to raise money
303
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:58,694
there must be
something wrong with the car.
304
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,231
- 'Well, is there something..'
- You're right, Alan.
305
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,185
Sarah?
306
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,534
There is something
wrong with it.
307
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,989
It's not perfect,
and that's why it's in the shop.
308
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,661
Sarah, no.
309
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,949
I wanna tell the truth.
310
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,786
The car is a classic.
311
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,040
And we're raising the money
312
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:18,831
to restore it
to its original condition.
313
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:21,376
And then, we can sell it
for two or three times
314
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:24,210
what it's worth at the moment.
315
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,756
- Two or three times?
- Mm-hmm.
316
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,720
- Thirty dollars?
- You in?
317
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:32,347
- Alright.
- Sold.
318
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:33,849
[bell rings]
319
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,521
Five shares,
we're getting close.
320
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:37,059
- Alright.
- Okay.
321
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:39,612
Today, Martha Mitchell
as a visionary
322
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,977
after you fellows
take your seats.
323
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,404
Excuse me, Charlie, um..
324
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,283
Dr. Samuels wants you to add
325
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,200
fabric softener
to the shopping list.
326
00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:51,118
Can't he buy his own
damn fabric softener?
327
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:55,451
- Sorry.
- 'It's alright.'
328
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,996
I'm sorry.
329
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,459
[sighs]
Okay.
330
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,750
The, uh,
Attorney General John Mitchell..
331
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,964
I'm sorry, excuse me.
332
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,681
Sorry.
333
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,298
B-O-U-N-C-E.
334
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,220
Bounce.
335
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,894
- Sorry.
- Smell.
336
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:21,517
[instrumental music]
337
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,238
- Ah.
- Hey, good news.
338
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,660
Extra-large, medium charge.
339
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,580
Dinner's on me tonight, pal.
340
00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:36,198
Extra anchovy.
341
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:39,365
Your wife called.
She's coming over.
342
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,825
- She is?
- Yeah.
343
00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:43,004
I think she wants you back.
344
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:44,343
Sure, she does
345
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:47,508
now that I'm on the rebound
and available.
346
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,838
You're not available!
347
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,303
Look, Harold..
Sorry, uh, but..
348
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,095
Deep down in my heart, I know
349
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,469
how much you wanna get back
together with her.
350
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,386
What? And give up
what we have here?
351
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,555
What do we have here?
We have two adults males.
352
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,363
One of them hates anchovies.
353
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,067
Well, there's no problem.
354
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:05,977
They're removable.
355
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,645
Harold, that's not the problem.
356
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,154
Look, I don't know
how to tell you this
357
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,315
but, uh, the magic is gone.
358
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:14,414
You're starting
to sound like Louis.
359
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,410
See.
360
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,161
You can't stop
thinking about her.
361
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,373
Now, you miss her, right?
362
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:21,964
Sure, I miss her.
363
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,039
But I would rather
spend the next ten years
364
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,924
living in this apartment
with you
365
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:27,551
than admit it to her.
366
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:29,970
- Is that..
- Probably.
367
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:32,377
Ah. I'm not ready!
368
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:34,176
Just a minute.
369
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:35,889
- How do I look?
- You look fine, Harold.
370
00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:38,349
- I need a shower.
- Come on, open the door.
371
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,020
Act your age, okay?
372
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,106
Louis, if you're here
to beg me to come back
373
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,609
let me just say, I'm fine here.
374
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:52,951
I'm happy.
I'm picking up the pieces.
375
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:53,988
Really?
376
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:57,081
Well, here are a few pieces
you forgot to pick up.
377
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:59,117
Come and get the rest
of your stuff by Saturday
378
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,621
or I'm sending it
to the Goodwill.
379
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:04,082
Goodwill? You wouldn't know
the meaning of the word.
380
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:07,254
You think I'm miserable here?
I'm not, I'm happy.
381
00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:10,014
- Charlie, tell her.
- He's miserable.
382
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:13,217
I get respect here. Friendship.
383
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:16,008
Charlie and I are doing
some serious male bonding.
384
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,973
- Well, it's not that serious.
- Yes, it is.
385
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,523
I'll let the two of you
work that out by yourselves.
386
00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,137
- I'm leaving.
- Now, hold it.
387
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,694
Nobody leaves here
without her husband.
388
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:27,649
[instrumental music]
389
00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:29,189
Okay, so we have
no financial problems.
390
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,573
We're still both attracted
to one another, physically.
391
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:34,910
Uh, let's talk about
common interests. Any?
392
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,525
Folk dancing.
393
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:40,544
Travel.
394
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:43,580
Meet by mail.
395
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:46,172
You have pen pals
all over the country.
396
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:49,668
He belongs to
the Steak Of The Month Club.
397
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,918
Well, nevertheless, I-I-I see
398
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,465
a-a terrific marriage here.
399
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:57,139
What is the problem?
400
00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:59,887
The problem is him!
401
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,640
Oh, I'm leaving.
402
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:04,062
- Say, "Louis, don't go."
- Oh, let her go.
403
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:07,101
- Say it!
- Louis, don't go!
404
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:11,484
Louis...is the fact that
405
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:13,355
Harold wants you to get a job..
406
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,402
Does that have
anything to do with this?
407
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:18,445
That has everything
to do with this.
408
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:22,580
Look, I've had a job
for the last 18 years.
409
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:24,499
'Raising our kids.'
410
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,212
Harold?
411
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,787
They're in college,
they're gone.
412
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:33,005
Moved on to greener pastures,
she's still grazing.
413
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,586
I want to graze, I need a rest.
414
00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:38,842
She has a brilliant mind,
it's going to atrophy.
415
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:41,256
Oh, look. I'll get a job.
416
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,175
I just need some time
to figure out
417
00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:45,233
what it is I wanna do.
418
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:48,727
Raising kids
takes a lot out of a person.
419
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:51,822
She has a good point, Harold.
420
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:52,857
Of course, she has a good point.
421
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:53,980
She has a brilliant mind, too.
422
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,396
Well, you keep
saying that to me.
423
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:58,914
Well, I mean it.
That's what I love about her.
424
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:01,777
I have a Ph.D. in, in attendance
425
00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:03,735
not communication.
426
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,798
It's what I love
about you, honey.
427
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:22,345
Your mind, your intellect.
428
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:26,135
I really missed you, you know.
429
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:31,232
Well.
430
00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:34,521
It sure is nice
to hear you say that.
431
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,066
Goobs.
432
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:45,660
Okay, I guess
we're communicating now, huh?
433
00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:48,622
Isn't it great?
Don't let me interrupt.
434
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,424
I'm gonna slip out,
I'll go to a movie or something.
435
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,077
No, no, no, we'll go.
436
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:54,795
We'll work the rest
of this out at home, okay?
437
00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:56,626
Come on, Harold, let's go.
438
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,262
What about my stuff, my clothes?
439
00:20:58,298 --> 00:21:01,388
I'll pack it up,
I'll bring it to school.
440
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:02,636
Thank you.
Nice meeting you--
441
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:03,758
Okay, nice meeting you.
442
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,104
- Thank you.
- See you tomorrow, doctor.
443
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:08,730
[sighs]
444
00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:13,975
- What happened?
- Ev-everything's okay.
445
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:16,022
I just wanted to say something.
446
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,726
Oh, sure.
447
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,646
This past week, y-y-you and I
448
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,775
have been very close.
449
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,832
As close as only
two lonely man can be.
450
00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:27,576
And, and, uh, I..
451
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:30,999
Well, you-you know
more about me personally
452
00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:35,379
than any person on the faculty,
and, uh..
453
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:37,379
...I don't want you to take
advantage of that
454
00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:38,841
you understand?
455
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,550
- Dr. Samuels--
- No, no, no. No.
456
00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:43,220
That's not what I wanted to say.
457
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,853
I know why the kids like you.
458
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:49,635
You-you make it easy to-to
459
00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:51,813
to say things that are hard.
460
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:53,352
Oh.
461
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:55,145
You're there for people
462
00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:57,318
and I appreciate that.
463
00:21:57,357 --> 00:21:59,567
Well, I'm just glad that
464
00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:02,649
when this one-time-only
situation came up
465
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:05,026
uh, I was able to bend
466
00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:06,993
my really rigid rules
467
00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:09,044
and, and help you out.
468
00:22:09,077 --> 00:22:10,907
Just this once.
469
00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:14,373
- Thank you.
- Sure. You're welcome.
470
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:19,634
- Oh, one other thing.
- What?
471
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:21,381
Do you mind if I take
that pizza home with me?
472
00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:23,973
Oh, be my guest.
Uh, figure of speech.
473
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,049
Just a figure of speech.
474
00:22:28,263 --> 00:22:30,183
- Ciao.
- Bye-bye.
475
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,850
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
476
00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:40,281
Alright.
Let me get this straight.
477
00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:42,107
You're selling us
a $300 car
478
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:45,572
and you're just gonna give us
a $210 rebate?
479
00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:48,584
- Yeah.
- What about the other 90 bucks?
480
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:52,287
- You owe us 90 bucks.
- Why the sweet deal?
481
00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:55,459
We just decided we really
don't wanna own a car.
482
00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:57,209
Yeah, Eric.
483
00:22:57,250 --> 00:22:59,670
You know how girls are.
484
00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:03,514
I don't trust them.
485
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:04,798
Watch this.
486
00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:08,722
Girls, tell you
what I'm gonna do.
487
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,218
You give us the rebate upfront.
488
00:23:11,264 --> 00:23:14,144
- Minus the $90.
- And then, we'll buy the car.
489
00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:15,274
Deal.
490
00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:17,270
- Here's the money.
- Uh, okay.
491
00:23:17,312 --> 00:23:19,822
Here's the title,
the registration, the car keys
492
00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:20,936
your timeshare partner schedule
493
00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:23,572
and the bill
from Satnick's garage.
494
00:23:23,610 --> 00:23:25,450
- What bill?
- Transmission.
495
00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:28,817
Two hundred and ten dollars,
see ya.
496
00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:31,620
Yeah!
497
00:23:33,286 --> 00:23:35,206
And what timeshare?
498
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:42,501
[theme music]
499
00:24:12,033 --> 00:24:15,333
[music continues]
35341
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