All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S02E05_2

[theme music]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Well, hey, listen, here's my ad.

"Hi, my name is Arvid.

"If yours is too, write Arvid

PO Box 4-7-5-8-6-2 etc, etc.."

W-what do you think?

I think it's a lousy way
to meet girls.

Well, what's wrong with trying

to meet other people
named Arvid?

I've met one.
Believe me, it's no big deal.

Okay, Blunden, this is an
official locker search, open up!

Dr. Samuels, that is
an invasion of my privacy.

Come on, come on. I have
a graffiti vandal to bust.

I'm looking for spray cans.

I wouldn't do this
if I were you.

Don't threaten me!

What's the combination?

Twenty-seven, right.
Fourteen, left.

Dr. Samuels,
would you listen to me for once

this is a big mistake.

The third number?

Five, right.

Hup. There's still time
to call this off.

[clattering]

I had this completely organized.

[instrumental music]

Good morning, history fans.

- Morning!
- Good morning!

And congratulations,
Darlene, on another

splendid edition
of the "Fillmore Spartan."

[cheering]

Thanks!
If you think that one was good

wait till you see the next one.
The lampoon issue.

[laughs]

- Satire!
- 'Yeah.'

Yes, we did one with my,
uh, college paper

when I was at Idaho State.

Tried to find something
to offend everyone.

Came up with a, uh,
parody of "Life" magazine.

"Life in Idaho."

All the pages were blank.

[laughing]

Uh, yeah?

You had to be there.

That reminds me,
for the lampoon issue

I'm gonna need contributions
from everyone.

- Okay?
- Okay.

And I have
an announcement to make.

Sarah Nevins,
constant contributor

peerless proof-reader and friend

has been appointed
assistant editor

to take some of the load off

the overworked
editor-in-chief, me.

That's great.

[bell rings]

Okay! And speaking of moving on.

Let's discuss Gerald Ford's
"Pardon of Richard Nixon"

Do we know the whole story?

(all)
Yes.

Really?

And please,
no more 50-page essays.

(all)
Oh..

I'd like to have time
for a social life.

[bell rings]

Mr. Moore, can I talk to you?

Sure. Uh, your desk or mine?

- I need a small favor.
- Maybe.

Well, state insurance law

requires that there be
an adult present

in a room full of students.

And Mr. Warren's sick.

And Mr. Medford volunteered
to fill in for him, but..

Yes?

Well,
this is our parody edition

which is supposed to be funny.

And Mr. Medford, well,
let me put it this way

if you're an animal,
he'd be a flounder.

We need somebody
with a funny bone.

A little irreverence.
A sense of rebellion.

And you want me to..

Be faculty advisor to the paper

for this one edition.

[inhales]
I'll try.

- Great. Thanks.
- Sure.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Alright, you guys,
what about this?

What about doing a parody
of the "Enquirer?"

- Good!
- I like it. I like it.

I like it,
it's something like, uh

Dr. Samuels outbids elephant man

for remains of Michael Jackson.

I've got it. I've got it.

Oliver North to be spokesman

for shredded wheat.

Jeff is funny and adorable.

Uh, if I may, uh..

God needs a million dollars
by Friday

or he'll let Oral Roberts live.

[laughing]

You guys,
doesn't this whole thing

just sound a little frivolous?

- Well..
- Come on, Alan!

Maybe, Alan, but it needn't be.

I mean, if-if, if you have
serious points to make

satire's a great way to do it.

You know, I've got something.

I've already tried
two pieces protesting

Dr. Samuels searching lockers.

Let's do it. El Hefe
searched mine this morning.

Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong with
an occasional locker search?

[indistinct chatter]

Uh, it might just be a violation

of the fourth amendment
of the constitution

of the United States.

[scoffs]
I suppose, if you wanna
take it literally.

Listen,
Dr. Samuels won't print it.

I've done everything short
of begging him.

He's now censoring
the newspaper?

You have met Dr. Samuels,
haven't you, Mr. Moore?

Well, this gives you
another shot.

You can go after him with humor.

Nothing is as powerful
as a joke whose time has come.

Mr. Moore, can I have a word?

Sure, I'm not using plethora
at the moment.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chattering]

- He's looking at us.
- Who?

Jeff. Don't look.

Sarah!

[giggles]
He's so cute.

Yeah, he is pretty cute.

I didn't notice it before,
but there's something about him

that dials my area code.

Here he comes, he's comin' over!

- Oh, my God.
- You got that right.

I just remembered,
we've got a date.

You what?

Darlene, I've gotta run.
I'll see you at 7:00, okay?

Let's try
to get there early.

I wanna see the Celtics
shoot around.

I think we should
get our hotdogs

before the line get too long.

- But, Jeff--
- And plus, it's cap night.

The first 10,000 people
get free Knicks caps.

That's great, Jeff,
but...I can't go.

- Darlene!
- No, I'm swamped.

I've got papers to edit,
advertisers to call

and I've got a meeting
with the printer.

Are you losin' it? This is
the Knicks and the Celtics.

Cap night, him.

Shh!

I'm sorry, um,
can you sell the other ticket?

But I got the tickets for us.
I wanna go with you.

I know and I feel terrible.

Maybe somebody else
would like to go.

Anybody here want a ticket
to tonight's basketball game?

'Twelve bucks.'

- Eric?
- Nah, you go ahead.

No, would you lend me
the 12 bucks?

How 'bout you, Sarah?

Oh, I don't know,
I got a lot of stuff to do.

But it-it seems a shame
to let it go to waste.

Great! Then it's settled.

Well, I guess so.

I'll meet you in front
of the Garden at 7:00.

Okay, I'll be wearing--

No, I-I know what you look like.

Oh, gosh, I feel funny, Darlene.
I mean, it was your date.

I'm not that crazy
about basketball, anyway.

Yeah, but you got be crazy
about Jeff, right?

Well, he is cute.
Hmm, I'm not sure.

No. Mnm-mnm, I'm not going.

Our friendship
is too important to me.

Sarah, it's not like
you're sneaking behind my back.

As a matter of fact,
you're helping me out.

Alright?

Oh, do me a favor..

Would you read this?

[instrumental music]

[chuckling]

Alright, so I'll see you later.

You better.

Stop the presses.

I always wanted to say that.

Listen, you two, uh, I found
what we were talking about.

All here.

I mean, uh, Trudeau's
"Doonesbury"

Jules Feiffer all the way back
to Al Capp.

Al who?

You don't remember "Li'l Abner?"

I barely remember
Little Richard.

Well, the late Al Capp
used to draw

this strip called "Li'l Abner."

Now, on the surface,
it's about a hillbilly family

but between the lines,
it's full of political satire.

And the same is true
of Walt Kelly's "Pogo."

- Yeah, we could do a cartoon.
- Yeah.

Well, more than just cartoons.

I mean, you can do articles,
stories, I mean

Will Rogers, uh,
Will Rogers said

"I belong to no
organized political party.

I'm a democrat."

- Think about it.
- I'm already thinking.

Mr. Moore,
can I ask your opinion?

I'm not sure I'm right
for this parody thing.

You have to be mean
a-and put people down.

It's not me, but I tried.

Well, let's hear what you have.

Okay.

"Jim Bakker's not broke,
he still owns

the mineral rights
to Tammy's face."

You're doing well.

- We have to talk.
- 'Mm-hm.'

It's about Jeff.

What about him?

He asked me out.

Jeff asked you out again?

Say the word and I won't go.

It's alright with me.
I just hope you don't get hurt.

Come on, Darlene.
Give it to me straight, okay.

You don't want me
to go out with him.

Don't be ridiculous.
Do you think I'm worried?

Nothing's gonna happen
between Jeff...and you.

Oh, really?

Well, I'll tell you what'll
happen if I go out with Jeff.

We'll go out again
and again and again.

And we'll go steady,
we'll get engaged.

We'll get married.
We'll have children.

We'll have grandchildren.

And then you'll
really get angry.

Sarah,
is that what you think of me?

Jealous and possessive?

Come on, Darlene. I know you.

And I know how you're gonna be.

And right now..

...our friendship
is more important

than anything between
Jeff and me.

What do you mean by,
"Right now?"

See, you're already defensive.

Okay, Sarah, do me a favor.

Go out with Jeff.

Get it outta your system.

Alright. If that's the way
you feel about it, I will.

Good.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Janice, Jawaharlal,
my first Arvid letter!

Listen to this..

"Dear Arvid,
I attend the Bostwick school

"in Brooklyn Heights,
where I maintain an A average.

"Except in gym, from which
I'm exempt. Weak ankles.

"My extra circular activities
include the Stalagmite club

"larva watches of America.

"And during the summer,
I attend Accordion camp.

"Looking forward to meeting you
for the purpose of exchanging

"ideas and microscopic slides.

Warmest personal regards,
Arvid Snurge."

Well, isn't that something?

Amazing how two Arvid's
can be so different.

Hey, you guys ought to try this.

You know, Jawaharlal,
wouldn't you like

to meet other Jawaharlals?

You know,
that's a pretty unusual name.

Are you kidding me?

Half the people in India
are named Jawaharlal.

Oh...wh-what are
the other half named?

Mrs. Jawaharlal.

[instrumental music]

(Dennis)
Alright, check this out.

Fillmore chess club suspended
for using steroids.

- Look at that, huh?
- I like it.

- You like it?
- Yup.

Listen up, everybody,
I think I found a way

to put the locker search thing
into this issue

in kind of a funny way
like Mr. Moore was saying.

Our principal
as a Latin American dictator.

"Papa Doc Samuels,
Strongman of Fillmore."

Amnesty international protests
human rights violations

in South Africa, Chile
and Fillmore High School.

That's great, Sarah.

Then I go on to a whole thing
about the censorship

the locker searches
and all that kind of stuff.

So what do you guys think?

[indistinct chatter]

It's clever, it's clever.

I don't know if it's exactly
what we're looking for.

[indistinct chatter]

No...I don't think so.

Darlene,
it's right on the money.

I mean, i-it's, it's fresh,
it makes some strong points.

And I-I know it's funnier
than anything

we came up with at Idaho State.

Thank you.

Of course,
I'm just your faculty advisor

one you practically begged
to take this job.

When are you people
gonna get real?

You know, even if I did like it,
which I don't...face facts.

Dr. Samuels won't print it.

Darlene, you know this is good.

And since when do you
fold so easily?

- Yeah, Darlene?
- Why?

Why don't you try to get it
past Dr. Samuels?

You and Sarah.

It's your job.

It's not worth fighting for.

Oh, come on.

Listen, I will, uh, I'll fight
for it, uh-if that's okay.

- Sure.
- Oh, great.

Give it your best shot.

Yeah, well, this is brilliant.

[instrumental music]

- Problems, huh?
- Problems?

On the paper.

I heard that Darlene
was going with Jeff

and then Sarah
was going with Jeff.

And that Jeff
was hung up on Darlene.

Now, it looks like Jeff
is hung up on Sarah.

And as we all know,
when a certain person

gets her nose out of joint,
you got trouble.

And that starts with a 'T'
and that rhymes with 'D'

and that stands for Darlene.

- I see.
- Plus, you got Sarah.

Starts with an 'S',
that rhymes with mess.

How do you know this?

Janice told me.

Mr. Moore, you wanted to see me?

Yes, sir.

[instrumental music]

"Bits and pieces, Ivan Boesky
to address ethics, Garber.

"John Collins
to undress ethics, Garber.

'A-art class's wax dummy of
Mayor Koch wins fourth term."'

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

T-they do this every year.

Uh, w-what's on the front page?

It's sort of an-an
affectionate tribute

to the man who makes
it all work.

No kidding. Let me see it.

It's kind of a nice picture,
I think.

This your idea of a joke?

No, it's their idea of a joke.

It's, uh, it's satire,
Dr. Samuels. It's just fun.

You know, that's,
uh, respectful joshing.

(Harold)
I look like
I'm in the cast of "Evita."

Well, they're-they're kids,
they paint with broad strokes.

- This is not going in.
- Oh, come on, Dr. Samuels.

I-it's not your newspaper,
it's their paper.

I won't be portrayed
as a tyrant. As a despot.

As the man who tramples
on the rights of people.

Yeah, they're probably reacting
to random locker searches

and arbitrary censorship.

I'm not looking for pastrami
sandwiches in there, you know.

But you are violating
their rights

under the fourth amendment.

And they do have a right
to complain about it

under the first amendment.

Well, let them complain!
This is a free country.

Thank you very much.

[instrumental music]

[cheering]

Alright, Darlene,
that settles it.

- Let's print this copy.
- Alright.

No, Sarah, it's settled
when I say it's settled.

And I don't want to do it.

- Why not?
- Come on, Darlene.

Darlene, I just went
three rounds with Dr. Samuels.

- Let's not waste that.
- Yeah.

I can appreciate that,
Mr. Moore, but I thought it over

and I don't think
that it's-it's something

that we should print.

Come on, Darlene,
this is important.

Not just to me,
but to the whole school.

You have to print it.

I'm the editor.
I decide what to print.

Well, print this. I quit!

Sarah, come on, don't do that!

Uh, would you all
excuse us for a moment?

I-I kind of like to hangout
and see how you handle this

if you don't mind.

Why don't you tell me
about it later?

Look, Mr. Moore, I'm not
in the mood for a lecture.

Well, that's okay, nobody
is ever really in the mood

for a lecture
except the lecturer.

This isn't about the paper,
it's other things.

Really?

Let me just take a blind stab
at guessing, okay?

Uh, it's, uh,
maybe boy meets girl?

Boy meets girl's best friend.

Girl's judgment
is clouded by jealousy.

I'm not really jealous.

(Charlie)
I know.

You look at Jeff
with about as much interest

as you look at...Arvid.

I love Sarah.

I just can't help myself.

I'm ruining our friendship
over a guy

that I don't even care
that much about

because I'm so hung up
on winning.

That's crazy.

Are all teenagers
this messed up?

I know I was.

When does it go away?

When you die.

Let's look on the bright side.

Now you're smart enough to know

that you are messed up
about this.

Most people
would blow the friendship

and the newspaper
without thinking about it.

But not you.

See, that's one of the benefits

of being really smart.

You don't let your emotions
rule your work.

You're telling me
to ask her back.

I don't grovel, Mr. Moore.

Fine.
You don't have to like her.

You just have to get
the newspaper out.

Right, editor?

I'll talk to her.

It's a good idea. Yeah.

Gives me time to catch up
on those "Pogo" strips.

[instrumental music]

You want to get Darlene?

We'll ostracize her.

We'll pay people
not to talk to her.

We'll put crazy glue
in her nail polish bottle.

Maria, please.

Just trying to be nice.

Sarah, can I talk to you
for a minute?

Bye.

Look...I don't like
having to watch

you and Jeff make goo-goo eyes
at each other.

But I do think
that I overreacted.

Personal feeling aside, I think
that your idea was a good one

and I would appreciate your help
in finishing the paper.

Personal feelings aside,
I'll be happy to help you.

Good.

See you downstairs.

[instrumental music]

(Dennis)
Janice Lazaretto
leaps into puberty.

I've decided to concede
to majority opinion

and print Sarah's story.

- Alright!
- Here we go.

- Well, start the presses.
- Yeah.

Sarah, do you think
Dr. Samuels' picture should go

above the piece or beside him?

How about this?

- Think so?
- Yeah, I think it looks good.

Look, um...I know
I've been awful.

[telephone ringing]

Yeah, well, everybody
is entitled once in a while.

It's not irreversible, you know.

- Hm?
- What about there?

It's good.

So, is there anyway
that I can apologize

without actually
having to apologize?

I'll think about it.

[telephone rings]

[chuckles]

There!

- That's it!
- That's it.

We did it.

We did it.

(Dennis)
Yes.

Alright, I got it, I got it.

Okay, everybody, he's got it.

Elvis speaks to Dr. Samuels

tells him

"You're the king now, baby."

I think he's got it.

Thank you very much.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Congratulations.

[cheering]

And the best part is Dr. Samuels
is going to find one

in every locker.

I really want to thank all
you guys for helping me out.

I realize I wasn't the easiest
person to work for.

Or with.

[knock on door]

(Charlie)
'Come in.'

Excuse me,
is there an Arvid Engen here?

- Uh, I'm Arvid.
- I'm Arvid.

I-I-I'm Arvid,
can I, can I help you?

I understand
you're looking for Arvids?

- Yeah.
- I'm one.

My name is Ingrid Arvid.

Oh, oh, oh, no, see..

'Oh, oh..'

No, uh..

[sighs]
The last names don't count.

- Arvid!
- What's wrong with you?

I-I can make an exception
in this case.

[instrumental music]

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