All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S02E01_2

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

- Arvid?
- Mommy!

I-I'm sorry, Simone.

You don't sneak up on me
like that. I was just--

Aren't we jumpy today.

Arvid, if you can't handle
the pressure

why are you in the science fair?

We are in the science fair
this Friday

because we have
a talent for science.

Just like
you're on the debating team

because you have a big mouth.

The difference is,
if I enter a debate, I win.

You'll be fine, Arvid, really.

Arvid, if I don't win
the science fair, I hope you do.

- Do you mean that?
- No.

Come on, Arvid. Finding a cure
for emotionally unstable vermin?

[scoffs]
Get real.

Hey, first of all,
they are not vermin

they are laboratory rats.

[sighs]
What's the difference?

Still sounds like
a Mickey Mouse project to me.

Second of all, they're not
emotionally unstable.

They are in a state
of depression.

What a crock. I mean, how can
you tell when a rat's depressed?

There are definite
clinical indications.

Oh, oh, you mean like..

[as rat]
Uh, hiya, Marty,
wanna go around

and spread
the bubonic plague today?

No, you guys go ahead
without me.

The only reason
you're blasting my project

is 'cause you're having problems
with yours.

[sighs]
My project happens
to be a killer.

I'm demonstrating how the moon
Io will careen out of orbit

and crash into Jupiter
170,000 years from now

thus releasing a burst
of neutrinos and gamma rays

thereby increasing
the temperature of the Earth

to count them two full degrees.

I better load up
on Bermuda shorts.

Every year these two feebs
argue about who's gonna win

the science fair and every year
Arthur Fisher kicks their butts.

Earth to Eric, Arthur Fisher
graduated, remember?

- 'Yeah.'
- 'That's right.'

That's right,
which means I can go from here

to the city finals
to the state to national

and maybe even
the internationals.

Ah, and I thought the basketball
playoffs were endless.

Has either one of you
ever considered the fact

that you may both lose?

- No, never considered. No.
- How? Who's gonna beat us?

- Sarah.
- Yeah.

With my automated,
servo-controlled

anti-brachial manipulator.

Beg your pardon?

That's techno speak.
It's a robotic arm.

Techno speak? I like it.

Sarah, please, let me be
the first to crush your dream.

The only chance you have
at winning a prize

is if they give out one
for Miss Congeniality.

And you'll get yours
for being best float.

[bell rings]

Mr. Moore, over here.

Mr. Vladimir's latest marriage
is falling apart.

He's a basket case.

Phone calls, lawyers.

You can't judge a science fair
while you're crying.

So I'm pulling him
off the panel.

- You'll be one of the judges.
- I'll be one of the judges.

Sh. Let it be a surprise
for the kids.

Sure.

- Mr. Moore--
- You are--

Please, please, please, hold it.
Hold it, hold it.

N-no, no influence
peddling, okay?

Now, I'd like each of you
to pick up

your manually operated linear
pigmentation deposition tubes

and copy down these facts

from the vertical
inscriptive surface.

So anyway, I think I can prove
that therapeutic doses

of artificial sunlight
and protein

will make these rats healthier
and happier than these rats.

I mean, think of the
implications for mankind.

[bell rings]

Oh, gotta go now, Melvin.
Yes, I do.

Yes, I do.

You gave them all names?

Well, not all of them, but
Melvin here is really depressed.

I'm trying to build up
his self-esteem.

Yes, I am. Yes, I..

Oh, yes, little baby.

So long.

Who is he trying to kid?

He's got about as much a chance

of winning the science fair
as you do.

Yeah. As I do?

Yeah, who cares if Jupiter
blows up in 170,000 years?

Mutual of Jupiter?

[laughs]

Oh, Sarah,
you astrophysics Philistine.

'You know, I think
that the future of the galaxy'

'might just be
a little more important'

'than your five-fingered folly.'

Dennis, watch out!
The rats are escaping!

[screaming]

Do something!
Do something!

(Dennis)
'What? Oh, here, vermin.'

Look, look,
there goes another one.

- 'Stop! Breath!'
- Grab them, Dennis! Grab them!

I'm not gonna grab them.
They're rats! You grab 'em!

Oh, God.

Where, where, where
do you think they went?

I don't know. They were sad
and lonely and depressed.

They probably went
to a Bergman film.

Arvid, Arvid loved those rats.

[sighs]
I know.

It was as if
they were his life's work.

[grunts]
What are we gonna do?

- We?
- Me. Me. What am I gonna do?

- Well, you have to tell him.
- I can't.

- Then I will.
- No!

No, you can't do that.
It'll kill him.

And-and he's not gonna believe
this was an accident.

He's gonna think I intentionally
sabotaged his project.

Well, you can't lie to him.

I won't lie to him.
Rat lookalikes.

- You wouldn't.
- What's the difference?

Rats are rats.

Dennis, you are not
getting rat lookalikes.

[sighs]
No, no, of course not.
Don't be silly.

Oh, come on,
would I do something like that?

[bell rings]

- Okay. Ah, today--
- 'Yahoo!'

I did it!

I did it! Whoo! Whoo!

Would you care to be
a little more specific?

I discovered the cure
for depression!

Oh, well, next time
I suggest you try a half dose.

Come on, Arvid. What is it?

The rats, they're happy!
It's beautiful!

Yesterday they were just
lying in their sawdust.

Today they're practically
doing aerobics.

Woo-wie!

Mr. Moore, I have got
the science fair won!

Well, Arvid, let's wait
until Friday, shall we?

Oh, yeah.

Okay, today we're gonna be
talking about defense.

Dennis, you creep.

I'm just buying time
until I tell him, okay?

At least you could have gotten
depressed rats.

They were depressed
until I saved them.

I bought 'em from a guy who was
gettin' ready to feed 'em

to his boa constrictor.

Now somewhere in between that

are the defense budgets
of 153 other nations.

Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore,
can I talk to you for a minute?

Sure.

Not as a judge
of the science fair

but as a teacher.

Try me.

Arvid didn't cure diddly.

Dennis accidently
let the rats escape

and replaced the bummed out ones

with rats
that are on a natural high.

Dennis promised
that he would tell Arvid, but..

Mr. Moore, I did not
expect this to happen.

Well, you realize,
uh, now that I know this

as a judge, I have to disqualify
Arvid from the science fair.

Ethically, I-I have to tell
Dr. Samuels before Friday

which I don't wanna do.

So unless you can convince
Dennis to tell Arvid..

...you'll have to tell him
yourself.

Oh, no, this is gonna be awful.
Arvid is gonna be crushed.

Well, better now than in front
of the entire school.

Now here's Jupiter. See?

Here's Io
in a few different phases.

But this is nothing.

I have been slaving
for months over this

printing out miles
and miles of data.

Who cares, Dennis? Why haven't
you told Arvid the truth?

Is it my fault
if Arvid is never around?

- What?
- Arvid.

Dennis has something
he wants to tell you.

Why don't I go get us
something to eat?

- Dennis!
- Hey, gee, thanks.

- What would you guys like?
- Well, I don't know.

I think maybe, uh, uh..

He forgot to take my order.

- Arvid, about your rats--
- They're great, aren't they?

You know, I've grown so close
to them over the past few months

I'm starting to run the other
way whenever I see a cat.

- I know, Arvid--
- Look at Melvin.

Oh, my God! Quick,
start with the neutralizer.

- The neutralizer!
- Oh, forget it, Arvid.

They're ruined.

I'm dead. I'm dead!

He's gonna think
I did this on purpose

to get him out
of the science fair.

- Oh, what am I gonna do?
- You have to tell him.

Are you kidding?
He'll murder me!

Well, you can't hide from this.

Y-yes, I can. I-I'll get plastic
surgery and change my face.

- What?
- I-I was gonna do it, anyway.

No, Arvid. Don't put this off.

Believe me,
deal with it honestly

or it'll turn into a nightmare.

You're right, you're right.
I have got it.

- Lookalike pictures.
- No.

He will never know
the difference.

No, Arvid,
just tell Dennis the truth.

I got some pictures
from his big "Space Atlas"

and I blew them up
to match Dennis'.

His project looks the same
as it did before.

It took me all night,
but I did it.

- I don't believe this.
- Don't worry, he will.

Morning, kids.
How's it going today?

Great.

Unfortunately worse
than yesterday.

- Did you, uh--
- Don't even ask.

Can you believe it?
I mean, can you believe it?

Calm down,
it's not that big a deal.

Not that big a deal?
Not that big a deal?

When McDonald's announced a new
lettuce and tomato hamburger

that wasn't a big deal!

This is a big deal!

Dennis, uh, what's the big deal?

Mr. Moore,
thank God you're here.

You gotta see this.

In this picture, look.

Everything in the picture,
totally unfocused, right?

- Hmm.
- Except down in this corner.

See the blur? It's moving
through all the pictures.

- That can only mean one thing.
- Well, yeah, De-Dennis, I-I--

You can forget about winning
any science fair, pal.

I have discovered an asteroid!

- What about Io?
- Forget Io.

That's nothing
compared to my discovery.

This is, this is paper.
This is numbers.

Meaningless.
Totally meaningless.

I am gonna be famous.

I have discovered an asteroid.

It'll be named after me.

Asteroid 4286 Blunden.

Mr. Moore,
I gotta talk to you again.

- No asteroid?
- You got it.

Yeah!

Well, Sarah, have things
become messy enough for you?

Yup.

You do see that we're headed
for a real train wreck

this Friday at the science fair.

Yup.

You realize that
because you've withheld

the truth
from both Dennis and Arvid

and they've kept it
from each other

I'm gonna be forced
to tell Dr. Samuels.

Yup.

Mr. Moore,
think about this concept.

Two first prize winners.

Two Fillmore entries
in the city finals.

Well, I hate to be the one
to burst two balloons, Dr. Sam--

Uh, uh, not trying to influence
the judge now.

But just let it marinate, huh?

- But what-what I--
- No, no, no.

So you think I should make
Dennis and Arvid

tell each other the truth?

Yeah.

And you're suggesting
that I do it immediately?

Yup.

Because you've just realized

that by not saying anything
to Dr. Samuels

you're in this
just as deep as I am.

Yup.

(Maria)
'Sarah, can you hurry it up?'

'We're gonna be late
for the movie.'

I have to finish this.

Sarah, face the truth.

I mean, the only way you can win
is if Dennis' asteroid

is like some horrible mistake

or-or if Arvid's rats
all run away.

- Let's go to the movie.
- Okay.

Great.

- I'll catch up.
- Okay.

Arvid, you have to tell Dennis
what you did.

- Yeah, okay. I will.
- Scout's honor?

Dennis. Dennis.
All promises off, Dennis.

Either you tell Arvid
what you did or I will.

Okay, okay,
that's why I'm here, alright?

Just leave the two of us alone.

- 'Sarah.'
- Coming.

I'll handle it.
Don't worry. Go.

- Hi, Arvid.
- Hi, Dennis.

- How's it going?
- Good.

[sighs]
Arvid, um..

...something I gotta tell you.

[sighs]

There's something
I have to tell you too.

- Why don't you go first?
- No, you go first.

- No, please.
- Oh, please, be a dear.

- I insist--
- No, you gotta go. You go--

- Why don't we flip and see--
- Good idea.

Alright.

- I'll flip, you call it.
- Okay.

- Call it in the air.
- Alright.

Uh, heads, no tails.
Heads. Heads. Tails.

Oh, oh, oh, unh, unh, unh,
it's heads, it's heads.

Arvid! Arvid!

[electricity crackles]

Oops.

Oops?

You just destroyed
Sarah's project

and all you could say is oops?

I destroyed her project?

I tried to save the thing,
you're the

you're the dipstick who almost
knocked over the table.

Oh, yeah? Well-well-well,
who-who's the shmoid

who flipped the coin
under the table

so the dipstick
had to go get it?

Oh.

Okay, okay,
we're both responsible.

Alright?

The question is

what are you gonna do about it?

What? Me?

- Us. We gotta tell her.
- Why?

We'll fix it. Come on, she'll
never know the difference.

We're smart guys. We ought
to be able to fix that thing.

Uh, Dennis, that goes against
everything I-I believe in.

Yeah, me too.

Hand me that wrench.

Sarah, we're running
out of time.

I know, and I feel so guilty.

Tomorrow I'm gonna win
the science fair

and I'm gonna have to live
with the shame

for the rest of my life.

Psst, Mr. Moore,
I'm glad I found you alone.

- I have to talk to somebody.
- I'm not surprised.

I feel terrible.

I'm gonna win the science fair
and I don't deserve it.

Who does?

This may come as a shock to you

but both Dennis and Sarah's
project are scientific lemons.

- Sarah's?
- Well, there was an accident.

We tried to fix
her mechanical hand

but all it can do now
is perform a function

which may prove
to be embarrassing

in front of a panel of judges.

What does it do?

It makes a certain gesture.

- Care to elaborate?
- No.

Psst, Mr. Moore.

Can I talk to you before class?

Yeah, I know.
You're about to win first prize

in the science fair and you're
not gonna feel good about it.

Am I that transparent?

No, and I'm not
that perceptive either.

It's just that I'm way ahead
of you, okay?

Now, uh, run along to class.

"Those who cannot
remember the past

are condemned to repeat it."

- George Santayana.
- Right.

Dreyfus case, Watergate,
Iran-Contra scam.

Uh, people do not seem to learn

that you can't cover up
a problem

with trickery and deceit.

'Of course, you're all gifted,
you know that.'

Mr. Moore, why are you telling
us this in the science lab?

It's just that, uh,
tomorrow is the science fair

and I thought we could combine
history with a sneak peak

at the IHP projects just
sort of as a show of support.

Oops.

Mr. Moore, you just broke
somebody's science project.

Do you intend to do
something about it?

Well, I am.

I'm gonna cover it up.
Now I'll need your help.

You're all familiar
with the code of silence.

[all clamoring]

'Look, I'm gonna sneak
in here later'

and put it back together, okay?

You can't put it back
together the way it was.

No, I can put it back together
well enough

that whoever made it
will never know the difference.

[clamoring]

Do you wanna begin, Dennis?

Thank you, everyone, thank you.

Dennis.

Believe me, I, I always thought
I'd take a lot of great pleasure

in having what might well
be the find of the decade.

[sighs]
But I don't.

And that's because I'm competing
against two people

who are my very closest
and dearest friends and, uh--

Stop it! Stop it!
I can't stand it anymore!

Dennis, I destroyed
your project.

My project is an asteroid.
How can you destroy that?

It's not your asteroid.

It's Henry Markel's, 1937.

I took the pictures
out of a book.

- 'How could you do that?'
- You what?

It's true, it was an accident.

I was there when Arvid spilled
the acids on your original.

- You what?
- I'm sorry.

You stood there and you let me
rip up a year's worth of data

and all you can say
is you're sorry?

Okay, okay.

I'm really sorry.

Dennis, you ripped up
your own project.

Yeah, Dennis, it's not as bad as
what you did to Arvid's project.

Oh, that's different.
That was an a-a..

- That was an accident.
- What accident?

Arvid, I accept your apology.

- These things happen, right?
- What accident?

Arvid, Arvid.
Just tell him the truth, Dennis.

Arvid, I feel sick about it.

One minute,
I was admiring Melvin

and the next minute,
he and his buddies were gone.

I replaced them
with rat lookalikes.

You mean, you mean
that's not Melvin?

If it's any consolation
to you at all

I think getting out may have
cured their depression.

Yeah, Arvid, they looked real
happy as they were leaving.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, I think it's Sarah's turn.

Okay.

I just wanna say
to both Arvid and Dennis

that I knew
about both the accidents

and I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

And I also wanna say
that I think it's a shame

that you're both
out of the science fair.

Very nice of you, Sarah.
Isn't it, fellas?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Well, let's have a look
at your project.

Well, I guess
this is the prize winner.

Okay, just let me
hit this switch here.

- Sarah!
- Sarah! Sarah, don't!

(Darlene)
'That's disgusting!'

[laughing]

My robot! My robot!
Who broke my robot?

We-we didn't break it.
It-it was an accident.

We-we tried to fix it.
Uh, sort of.

How could you do this to me?

Well, if it's any consolation
to you

Arvid is sorry.

Really sorry.

We're both sorry.
We should've told you.

You know, somebody should've
told somebody something.

Yeah. Well, did anybody
learn anything, anyway?

Uh, yeah.

This IHP is gonna suck eggs
at the science fair.

How are we gonna break this
to Dr. Samuels?

I'll take care of Dr. Samuels.

But I want you to think
about Sir Walter Scott

who said
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave

when first
we practice to deceive."

Don't you think
that's a little self-righteous

coming from someone who just
wrecked some poor kid's project

and stuffed it in a drawer?

- Yeah, Mr. Moore.
- You're just as guilty.

It so happens that
this is my science project.

And I think it performed rather
well on its first time out.

What is it?

Uh, it's heuristic interactive
voracity extractor.

Heuristic, problem solving.

Voracity, truth.

A truth extractor.

Yeah,
it's a little old-fashioned

but you know, most of what
we say about the truth

is sort of a cliché.

I mean,
"Honesty is the best policy."

"The truth shall set you free."

Uh, damn it, there's something
to it, you know?

[humming "God Bless America"]

Well, it-it can be hard.

'You know, it-it can be painful'

but between countries or..

...or-or even between branches
of the same government

'uh, especially between friends'

there is no substitute
for the truth!

Thank you.
Thank you, my fellow Americans.

Thank you.

Arthur Fisher graduates,
so who wins the science fair?

Joey Fisher, his brother.

We can't catch a break.

- Morning.
- Morning, sir.

About that Fisher dynasty, huh?

Excuse me, Mr. Moore.

Arvid, did you lose this?

Melvin!

[theme music]