All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S01E09_2

[theme music]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Since Thanksgiving
is this Thursday.

I would like to turn
from French post-war politics

for one moment,
to explain to you

one of the great mysteries of
the Pilgrims and Thanksgiving.

[indistinct chatter]

Mysteries? Please.

We memorize Thanksgiving
in the first grade.

I don't suppose
it's changed much since then.

(Charlie)
'Well, then undoubtedly
you know'

why they landed
at Plymouth Rock

instead of the Virginia Colony.

Everyone knows they were
blown off course by a storm.

- Right.
- Yeah.

Grow up.

It's true, they were
victims of persecution.

But they were also stern
religious extremists themselves.

And the last thing
that the Virginia Colonists

needed in the dead of winter

was a-a boat load
of wet blanket puritans.

So, here is the theory.

The Virginians bribed
the captain of the Mayflower

to dump these Pilgrims
as far away as possible.

And to make it
look like an accident.

The storm provided
a convenient excuse.

Hence, Plymouth Rock.

Mr. Moore,
I'm, I'm devastated at this.

But none of this
diminishes their courage.

The generosity
of Native Americans.

Nor our enjoyment
of what is one of our most

beautiful
and meaningful holidays.

It's nice, Mr. Moore, but..

...Thanksgiving's a long day
and let's face it.

I mean, we could be studying.

No, no, no, we can celebrate
this holiday feeling secure

because Mr. Reagan has
brought our armed forces

back to a state of readiness.

What?

Well, you know,
there are people out there

who are trying to take
Thanksgiving away from us.

Let 'em, hey, Thanksgiving
is just another holiday

fostered and promoted
by greeting card salesmen

and the turkey
and cranberry industries.

I can't get behind that.

Oh, yeah, how come every year
you get a thank you note

from the turkey
and cranberry industry?

[laughing]

What is it with you people?
I mean, I-I love Thanksgiving.

I look forward to it every year.

And this year promises
to be one of the best.

Going home?

In a sense, yeah.

- Sardi's.
- Sardi's, the restaurant?

That's right.

Friend of mine
is in a new Broadway Show.

It's not a Broadway Show yet.

- What's it called?
- Gulag.

You mean, it's a play
about a Russian prison camp?

Yes, and I for one
am very curious

to see how it works
as a musical.

It finishes its
out-of-town try-outs

in Philly this Wednesday and
they come in to open next week.

And the, uh, producer is..

...throwing a little cast
Thanksgiving party at Sardi's

and...I'm invited.

- Wow.
- Good for you. It's exciting.

How about you guys? Arvid?

Oh, e-every year
we go to my Uncle Morty's.

The adults sit at the big table

a-and the kids
sit at their card tables.

Well, I-I'm the oldest,
so, I'm next in line

to sit at the big table.

Sounds like fun.

Well, yeah, but i-it's hard
to enjoy eating

while you're feeling guilty
about waiting

for someone to die.

- Jawaharlal, how about you?
- We probably won't celebrate.

[school bell rings]

- Okay, see you tomorrow.
- Bye, Mr. Moore.

- Mm-hm. Bye.
- Bye.

- See you.
- Great class.

(Mr. Moore)
'Oh, thank you, Alan.'

Mr. Moore?

You understand I ask you this
with great respect.

But do you remember
when I loaned you that book

on the temples of India?

Uh, Jawaharlal, say no more.

Uh, I will bring it in tomorrow.

And I really enjoyed it.
I still have two temples to go.

Thank you,
uh, it belongs to my cousin

and he is back going to India.

Don't worry, Jawaharlal..

...think about
a Thanksgiving dinner, hm?

Right.

[instrumental music]

Oh, your attendance book.
Just put it right there.

Yeah, I have a little
problem with this.

What-what's the problem?

I can't figure out how to do it.
I-i-it's confusing.

In addition to which,
it's a waste of time.

Well, did you look in your
attendance book

instruction book?

Yes, I can't understand
that either.

Let me see.

Oh, Charlie.

You have to fix this
before you turn this in.

I mean, t-this all
has to come out even.

Right. Well, help me, alright.

Charlie, that's part
of your job.

- My job?
- Mm-hm.

Isn't it enough that I teach
eight hours a day?

And correct hundreds
of papers?

We're supposed to be
guidance counsellors

psychologists

surrogate parents.

And still we have to do
this meaningless paperwork.

The attendance record
is far from meaningless.

The attendance record is
the record of the attendants.

I'm hooked. Go on.

It's how we get our money.

First, you have to
fill it out.

Then it goes to Ms. Meara,
our assistant principal

who sends it to me,
the principal.

Then I mail it
t-to the District Superintendent

who mails it
to the Board of Education

and he mails it to the State
Department of Education.

Then it goes to Washington D.C.,
where it ends up

on the desk
of the Secretary of Education.

Well, that's the trouble
with the school system.

We're spending
all of our money on postage.

Then, Washington analyzes it

and they decide how much money
to allocate to each school

based on a simple formula
of per capita disbursals

on a pro rata basis

in ratio to the districts
and the size--

Excuse me, but,
how do you know all of this?

It was my doctoral thesis.

You have a PhD in attendance?

Mr. Moore, this attendance book
is unacceptable.

It's a mess.

You have 75 school days
in October.

I thought November
would never come.

Get a new book.

Fill it out again,
and this time, do it right.

On my desk, Monday morning.

- You serious?
- Absolutely, hm.

And the delicious part is
I can hold up your paycheck

until I'm satisfied.

[instrumental music]

[school bell ringing]

Hi. Hi, Mr. Moore.

[indistinct chatter]

- Good morning, Jawaharlal.
- Good morning, Mr. Moore.

Is there something..

Damn. The book.

I'm sorry, Jawaharlal.
I-I completely forgot.

I-I promise, I will
hand-deliver it tonight.

I.. It's the least I can do.

I couldn't ask my teacher
to bring something to me.

No, please. I mean,
I feel badly enough already.

Just let me bring you the book.

Okay. No problem.

I apologize for asking.

That's telling him, Jawaharlal.

- Mr. Moore.
- Yeah?

I got some Thanksgiving trivia
for ya.

Name the biggest turkey
in history?

- I give up.
- The musical Gulag.

It closed in Philadelphia.

So, what are you gonna do
on Thanksgiving?

I'm a big boy, I..
I have plenty to do.

We'd be happy to have you
at our place.

Mr. Moore, you are more than
welcome at our house.

Let me be more specific.

I am offering an official
invitation to you

to spend an excellent
Thanksgiving

with me and my family.

Excuse me, Alan,
but I believe the gentleman

already has an invitation.

Get in line.

Oh, you could come
to our place.

I mean, I'm officially
inviting you too.

It's gonna be really special
at my place.

I mean, it's one day
of the year my parents

speak to each other, it's great.

You know, my mom is inviting
all of her ex-boyfriends over.

She'd never know
that you're a crash.

Mr. Moore,
you, you can come to my house

i-if you don't mind sitting
at a card table.

Woodstock, you'll love Wood.

[indistinct shouting]

Calm down. C-calm down.

Uh, sit down, okay?

[indistinct chatter]

I, uh, I-I appreciate..

...being the prize
in your contest.

Uh, but, if I say yes
to one invitation

then I have to say no
to the other nine.

Eight. Jawaharlal
did not invite you.

We're not sure what we're
going to be doing.

- I would love to--
- J-Jawaharlal.

No, no pressure, okay?

I-I just thought you
and your family might..

...enjoy Thanksgiving.

I just know you can be all alone
and really depressed.

Maria..

...being alone isn't
necessarily being depressed.

Hey, I.. Let's take
a worst-case scenario.

Let's say, I am alone
on Thanksgiving day.

Now, it's a day off.

So, I sleep late.
I get up.

I take a beautiful stroll
across the Brooklyn Bridge.

How can you improve on that?

When you get to the middle
of the bridge, jump.

Come on, Maria.

On my way back, I'm gonna stop
at Yonah Shimmel's.

I'm gonna pick up some knishes.

'Now, I.. if I wanna go
to a movie'

I don't have to stand in line

because every theatre
in Manhattan is virtually empty.

I don't wanna go to a movie,
so, I go home.

I watch some football.

I.. I work on my
attendance record.

Uh, I vacuum.

I...take a bath.

Maybe I should jump off
the Brooklyn Bridge.

[instrumental music]

So, once that was resolved..

[school bell rings]

Well, have a good
Thanksgiving holiday, okay?

Jawaharlal,
I will see you tonight.

- Thank you.
- '...Thanksgiving, Mr. Moore.'

- You too.
- 'Happy Thanksgiving.'

- Same to you.
- 'Shut up, John.'

John.

Our address. We're eating
at 3:00 and nobody will know.

Oh, right.

I understand the delicacy
of your situation

what with the feelings
of the other students.

Thanksgiving at the Pinkard's,
in confidence.

Thanks, Alan, but no thanks.

Janice?

Yeah?

Does this attendance book
make any sense to you?

Forget it, Mr. Moore,
it's garbage.

I've never seen anything
this confusing.

Except maybe
the new simplified tax code.

[instrumental music]

[sighs]

(man on TV)
'...setback,
Hamer back to pass.'

'He's got Luck, we got the 40.'

'Luck went to the 30, the 25'

'where he's knocked
out of bounds by Westheimer'

'and the strong safety,
Marty Moue.'

[instrumental music]

- M-Mr. Moore!
- Jawaharlal, uh..

- I'm so sorry.
- Oh.

- Thank you.
- Forgive the intrusion.

- Please, come in.
- Well..

Oh, I insist.
Come along, sir, really.

Okay. Just that I'm not dressed.

You look fine, sir.

My mother, my father.

- This is my teacher Mr. Moore.
- Oh.

Thank you for coming.
You're very kind.

Thank you,
I am excited to be here.

It is very nice of you
to pay your respects.

Well, that is what

the Thanksgiving holiday
is all about.

- Uh, your coat, Mr. Moore?
- Thank you.

Uh, paying respects
with family and friends.

People of all cultures making
new lives here in America.

Although, I must confess

the last time I spoke
with Jawaharlal about it

I was under the impression you
weren't doing anything special.

Well, we had to do something.

Well, I think what you've done
is wonderful.

U-uh, have some food,
Mr. Moore.

Alright,
I'm a great fan of Indian food.

- Wonderful, um..
- Ooh.

- Dahi-vade?
- Yes.

Those little yoghurt balls.

- Uh, lotus root?
- Ah.

- Be careful, very hot.
- Oh, I like hot.

- Pickled okra?
- Mm-hm. Whoo! Mm.

- Mm.
- Sir, here we have some dal.

- What's in here?
- Uh, Uncle Raj!

Uncle Raj?

[sobbing]

And this is Aunt Prima.
The widow.

[instrumental music]

- Table for one?
- Yes.

- Alone tonight, sir?
- Yes.

All alone?

No, I just came
from a celebrity-studded party

but I had this craving
for kung-pao chicken.

- You joke?
- I joke.

- Enjoy.
- Thanks.

Waiter?

[sighs]

Mr. Moore.

Dr. Samuels.

Table for two?

Things are looking up.

Well, I know why I'm here.

Same old story,
the in-law's dropped by

for the annual
Thanksgiving Day argument.

They're still fighting.
They think I'm in the bathroom.

Sorry to hear that.

Well, here we sit.

Each of us facing
the last person on Earth

we'd wanna have
Thanksgiving dinner with.

I can think of worse people.

Oh, name one.

Lyndon LaRouche.

Come on, you can name one
worse than that.

It's your turn.

Joan Rivers.

So, we gonna order or what?

How about Regis Philbin?

- Everything okay?
- Mm.

Do you ever, uh,
try chopsticks?

I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking I'm square.

I'm not colorful like you.

I don't have a little lump
of hair in the back.

You're looking at my plate.
You see my egg rolls.

How they're lined up.

My ribs, even the fried rice
looks neat.

You're thinking,
that's the rice of a bureaucrat

with a PhD in attendance.

It's also the rice of the man
with the mind that created

the individualized
Honors program

which I sometimes think
you're trying to destroy.

I am not!

Well, I'm, I'm simply
trying to teach them

that there's something
behind the grades, you know?

There is life outside school.

Hey, you don't have to
lecture me

about life outside of school.

I have my folk dancing
on Wednesday night.

Folk dancing?

It's how I relax.

I can get up and dance
in any country in Europe.

Somehow, I had
never envisioned that.

I've been doing it
for 20 years.

Once you get past the,
uh, leather shorts

and the accordion music,
it's fun.

That's all I'm trying to do
for them.

Is just to get them
to have a little fun, you know?

Follow their passions.
Take a chance occasionally.

Instead of following somebody
else's neat little program.

Mr. Moore,
you think you know me.

Let me tell you something.

There are parts of me
that you can't even imagine.

[scatting]

♪ Oopa ♪♪

That's the Greek version.

Now, you-you mentioned
a Bulgarian version.

The Bulgarian version,
yeah, well, the..

Now, this one's
a little more difficult.

Takes a little
more finesse, okay?

Hands on the hips
like this, see?

Chest out front.

[scatting]

A little more finesse
about this one.

It's all in the attitude.

[scatting]

[laughing]

You know, I tell you,
you should've asked me

to show you these dances
before dinner.

It was very impressive.

Oh, boy, I tell you, you should
see the Yugoslavian sometime.

They even get up on the tables.

Yeah, uh,
I tell you, you know..

This has been a very impressive
Thanksgiving dinner.

Well, the most I was lookin'
at was an intimate dinner

just me and my
attendance record.

I certainly didn't anticipate
a floor show.

[chuckles]

Instead of having a Thanksgiving
dinner with a friend?

A friend?

Well, a guy from the office..

...who can make
a friendly gesture

uh, occasionally.

Especially on a day
like Thanksgiving.

I'm dying of curiosity.

Let me see
your attendance book.

- You're not serious.
- Yes, I am. Get it over here.

Now, look.

Don't ever tell anyone
I did this.

First of all,
you are confusing

your non-excused absences

with your pending
excuse absences.

Okay? Right here, like it.
See?

And down here, you are

forgetting to include
the state-mandated holidays.

And lookie-lookie,
you have lumped them in..

...and overlapped them
with the religious holidays.

- Common error.
- Oh.

Look, now here's another thing.

If a student is absent,
you see.

And when he's absent,
while absent

moves out of the system?

Dr. Samuels.
Happy Thanksgiving.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now look, when you must
take into account students

who move out of
the systems, you see?

[instrumental music]

You know, I don't know
if it's the holiday spirit

or the MSG.

But I feel that I understand you
a little better.

Well, I can certainly
go along with that.

I think I've seen
and can appreciate

a...side of you

that I hadn't noticed before.

"A moment of weakness
will destroy your career."

"A wise man is never
bound by his principles."

[instrumental music]

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