All language subtitles for Head.Of.The.Class.S01E06_2

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[indistinct chatter]

- Morning.
- Oh, hi, Charlie.

- Moving in, huh?
- No. Why?

The tulip.
You're, uh, you're moving in.

No, this is not
a moving-in tulip.

This is a teaching-economics
tulip.

Mm. Last week a baby crocodile,
this week a tulip?

You must lie awake nights
thinking of stuff like this.

Well, this and Cybill Shepherd.

- You're getting involved.
- No, I'm not getting involved.

I'm a substitute. I know better.

Mr. Moore,
I wonder if you'd mind

stepping into my office
for a moment?

There's something
I'd like to share with you.

Well, if it's the lunch
your wife fixed for you

I think you should be man enough
to eat it yourself.

Please join me.

I'm happy to announce
that today is the first day

of your last week
in the rest of my life.

I didn't quite follow that,
Dr. Samuels.

Mr. Thomas, the teacher
you've been subbing for

will be back
and starting next week.

So soon?

Just in time.

As of next Monday,
I won't have to put up

with your weird teaching,
your undermining my authority

your perverted sense of humor

and your subversion
of my honors program.

Perhaps this would be
a good time

to tell you what I think of you.

On the other hand,
let me just say

you filled in adequately,
you kept the class occupied

nobody got hurt.

I'm not going
to go as far as to say

there will always be
a job for you, but--

Spare me.
Uh, do the kids know?

- I haven't had the pleasure.
- I'd like to tell them.

Be my guest.

Think of it
as your final history lesson.

Just walk in there
and say I'm history.

[indistinct chatter]

What? Where did you hear that?

Come on, Arvid,
it's only a rumor.

Well, it's-it's not a rumor.

My-my father's
on the school board. He told me.

- When is it going to happen?
- I heard next week.

First, Mr. Thomas is gone
and now Mr. Moore is leaving.

I'm getting
separation anxiety again.

- Does Mr. Moore know?
- I-I don't think so.

- Maybe we should tell him.
- I don't do bad news.

I just think it might be nicer
if he heard it from us.

I mean, we're all
gonna miss him, right?

Yeah, but is he gonna miss us?

Believe me, he will be thrilled

to be released
from the nerd world.

Maybe we should all
just play dumb.

I think Arvid's right.
We shouldn't tell him. Agreed?

(all)
Agreed.

[bell rings]

- Good morning.
- Goodbye.

Well, I guess
the cat's out of the bag, huh?

- You know already?
- We're really sorry, Mr. Moore.

More than sorry.

Well, let me tell you
a little anecdote.

Uh, this one's
about Mookie Wilson.

The 28th president.

But I think
Woodrow Wilson deserves

a little bit more respect
than to be called Mookie.

Baseball, Alan. The Mook man?

Center fielder for the Mets.

Well, uh, it's first week
spring training

and, uh, Mook catches a ball
in the eye

so he's out for six weeks

and they bring
in a center fielder

from the minor leagues, I mean,
and this replacement knows

that he's just keepin'
center field warm

till the old Mook returns.

'So Mookie's better,
he comes back.'

He says, "Thanks, man.
I'll take it from here."

'So no hard feelings.'

He's just a guy doin' his job.

Do you understand
what I'm getting at?

Even though you're just standin'
there, I miss you already.

Oh, well, that's very sweet,
Maria.

You know,
all the other substitutes

have been really dumb.

You're not half as dumb
as they were.

Half a thank you, Janice.

There is an old Hindi saying.

[speaking in Hindi]

It means, may the road
rise up to meet you

may the wind be at your back
and until we meet again

may God hold you
in the palm of his hand.

Well, that's very beautiful.

But isn't that
an old Irish saying?

Picky, picky.

Uh, w-what is that in English?

It is English. Picky, picky.

Well, I'm, I'm gonna miss
all of you too.

You're a great group of kids

and I'm grateful for the
opportunity to have known you.

But we still have
a whole week together

so let's enjoy it, okay?

We'll try, Mr. Moore

but we're all gonna feel
a little misty-eyed.

Well, thank you.

But believe me, next Monday
Mr. Thomas will be standing here

and it will be
as though he never left.

Okay, let's get started.

Now what does this simple plant,
the tulip

have to do with the great stock
market crash of 1929?

[indistinct chatter]

Excuse me, Mr. Moore.
Everybody, surprise!

(all)
Mr. Thomas!

[chuckles]
Janice.

- Hello, my dear.
- You look so good.

- 'Good to see you, Mr. Thomas.'
- 'Good to see you.'

- 'You look wonderful.'
- 'You look good, Sarah.'

- It's good to see you.
- Good to see you.

- Namaste, sir.
- Namaste.

You don't look so bad.

You don't look so bad yourself.

Eric.

Mr. Thomas, this is Mr. Moore.
He's been sitting in for you.

I won't say
he's been your replacement

because you can't be replaced.

(Mr. Thomas)
Delighted to meet you,
Mr. Moore.

Well, I'm glad to see
you're feeling better.

Thank you.
So is my insurance company.

We weren't expecting you
until next week.

Well, I'm not here officially.

I'm just sort
of walking around the pool

getting ready to dive back in.

I wanna thank you for all
your wonderful get-well cards.

Did you guess
which one was mine?

Yes, Janice.

No one else would write me
a get-well card

in Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Did you like the part
where they were taking

the mummy's brains
out through his nose?

Well, actually, they were doing
something like that to me

at the time.

But my doctors
had a good laugh.

So tell me, how have you been
doing in the Academic Olympics?

- Perfect, sir. We're 8 and 0.
- Great.

Although we did have to win
one in triple overtime.

- At the buzzer.
- Yeah, I was weak at the knees.

Really? Eric was there?

No, I read all about it
in "Dorks Illustrated."

[Thomas laughs]

Well, you all look wonderful.

And I can't wait till next week.

Neither can I.
Neither can anybody.

Moore, I wanna thank you
for allowing me

to borrow a few minutes
of your class time.

- Anytime.
- Thank you.

Till Monday.

- Bye, Mr. Thomas.
- Goodbye, Mr. Thomas.

Great to have him back.
Isn't it, gang?

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, um, gee, sorry, Mr. Moore.

Yeah, it's just that
we hadn't seen him--

It's okay.

I mean,
he seems like a great guy

and it was obviously great
for you to see him.

You have a great rapport
and it's great.

Uh, don't feel guilty
because you like Mr. Thomas.

You should.

If you didn't, I couldn't
leave here feeling so great.

- Morning.
- Oh, hi, Charlie.

I hear that you met
Mr. Thomas yesterday.

Yeah. Seems like a nice guy.

The kids really like him.

Personally, I-I don't think
that he's that great.

Well, alright, he is great.
He is, but just--

Uh, Bernadette, it's okay.

I'm.. Uh, I'm really
gonna miss the kids.

I got into teaching this time
and I really liked it.

Okay, it's over.
I can live with it.

Um, are you sure that
that's all, Charlie?

What else could it be?
I mean, Bernadette, I'm fine.

I'm happy to move over
for Mr. Thomas.

He seems like a,
a very nice man.

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The first day,
he really threw me.

He said that baseball caused
the Cuban Missile Crisis.

- Seriously?
- It really shook me up.

Ah, Alan, you haven't changed.

Actually, I think
I've loosened up quite a bit.

Yeah. Every Wednesday
he doesn't wear a necktie.

- 'Oh, boy.'
- It was just an experiment.

Well, talk about loosened up.

I went to a dance
and I, I liked it.

Well, next time
I may actually dance.

[chuckles]

He had this really crazy way

of explaining
the Spanish Civil War.

You, too, Eric?

If you're interested
in that stuff.

Well, he always teaches us
these things

that sound weird at first

but then makes sense
if you think about them.

Well, a very wise man once said

"Smart is believing
only half of what you hear.

Genius is being able
to figure out which half."

Morning, everybody.
Listen, I had a great..

Mr. Thomas.

Oh, I beg your pardon,
Mr. Moore.

I was just looking
for some of my old lesson plans.

Go right ahead. Well,
it's been your desk for years.

I've just been subletting.

I don't mean to encroach
upon your time

but the students and I
fell into conversation.

I understand, really.

[bell rings]

Well, have fun.

Yeah, thanks.

Where was I?

Excuse me,
I forgot just one thing.

[instrumental music]

Well, maybe Mr. Thomas
can help us.

I'll try.
What's the problem?

Well, we can't think
of the right going-away present

for Mr. Moore.

Well, what are his interests?

- Right, the theater.
- Oh, sure.

There you have it.

If I were he, I would enjoy

a video cassette
of a great play.

That way, whenever he watches
it, he'll think of you.

Mr. Thomas, that's a great idea.

You always have great ideas.

I knew you'd come through
for us.

- Oh, hi, Mr. Moore.
- Hi.

Uh, the ladies and I
were, uh, sharing memories

about some of the more
fiercely fought battles

in the Academic Olympics.

Of course.
War is hell, isn't it?

[bell rings]

Why is this plant
so significant?

Well, we have to start
with the idea

that anything
people consider valuable

is based on something else
people consider valuable.

So in the case of..

Come in. Mr. Thomas.

- I hate to bother you, but--
- Oh, it's quite alright.

I just wanted to leave these
with the students

but I can do it another time.

No, no, go right ahead.

Alan, would you take one,
please, and pass them on?

Sure.

It's just a little reading list

for my lesson on Monday.

Oh, please, go ahead with yours.

No, by all means,
you finish what you're doing.

What is this,
Mr. Rogers meets Bambi?

This is quite a list.

Well, on Monday,
we'll be discussing

what these books have in common.

"Fahrenheit 451,"
"The Scopes Trial"

"Catcher In The Rye,"
"Areopagitica."

We've read most of these.

Mr. Thomas, if next week's class
is about censorship

we've already covered it
with Mr. Moore.

Oh, really?

Seemed like such a natural.

- Hi, Charlie.
- Good morning.

Oh, I need you
to sign these forms.

- You okay?
- Okay? I'm thrilled.

I can hardly wait
to get outta here.

- Two more days and I'm free.
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah, as matter of fact, I'm not
only getting out of here

I'm getting out of New York
for a week.

- Mm.
- You know, the Caribbean.

Club Med deal.

Any place where I can lose
the taste of trot from my mouth.

Good morning, Mr. Moore.
Lovely day.

[bell rings]

Charlie, you know,
there-there are some people

that are gonna miss you
around here.

[instrumental music]

Behold, the humble tulip.

[chuckling]

Not so humble
if we are magically transported

back to Holland
in the 17th century..

[knock on door]

Come in, Mr. Thomas.

- How did you know it was I?
- Oh, just a lucky guess.

Well, don't mind me.

I just wanna get something
from a book here.

Oh, please, go right ahead
as though I were not here.

- Tulip--
- From the Turkish.

Turban where it originally
came from.

Good.

By the early 1600s

this little beauty
had become the standard

by which the entire economy
of Holland was measured.

This is absolutely true.

People decided that all
you needed was tulip bulbs

in order to get rich
and you could get richer quicker

if you bought
and sold tulip bulbs

on the commodities market.

So people mortgaged their homes.

They sold their wooden shoes.

They rented out canals.

Anything just to get
into that market.

And at its peak, the record
price for a single tulip bulb

in today's money was close
to two million dollars.

- Really?
- No way.

- That's crazy. Why tulips?
- Why platinum?

- Why gold? Why diamonds?
- But it's just a flower.

Not just a flower, Alan.
It's a tulip.

So what? I mean, look at it.
It's nothing.

Now unfortunately

somebody in Holland
said those very words.

And then somebody else said,
"You know, he's right."

Everybody panicked.

The entire economy started
to collapse.

I mean, people were jumping
out of their windmills.

Holland went straight
into what was called

The Great Tulip Depression

and it stayed there
for 20 years.

[sighs]
That's ridiculous.

I mean, Americans wouldn't flip
out over tulips.

In 1929, we flipped out
over paper.

You see, the underlying reasons

for any major economic disaster

are really simple
human psychology.

It's, uh, greed
followed by panic.

Doesn't make any difference
whether it's tulip bulbs

or stocks or bonds
or baseball cards.

Oh, of course.

That's the purpose
of fiscal regulations.

To protect us
from mass hysteria.

[bell rings]

Exactly.

We'll get to those
regulations tomorrow.

- Hello, Mr. Thomas.
- See you, Mr. Thomas.

- Bye, dear.
- Bye, Mr. Thomas.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Glad to catch you alone finally.

I wanted to say something
about your teaching.

- Oh, please, Mr. Thomas.
- Uh, call me Vernon.

- Sure, Vernon, but--
- Mind if I call you Charlie?

You can call me
whatever you want.

Just please don't give me
any notes on my teaching.

I may be strange,
maybe different.

Maybe you think
I'm not good enough

but I'm pretty good.

Now on Monday, they're yours.

Until then, they're still mine.

And so tomorrow I would like
to teach without interruption.

If that's not asking too much.

I have another class
to teach here. You leave.

- All I wanted to say--
- Please!

Very well.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Mr. Moore, what are you
doing here on time?

- 'Early.'
- Oh, you surprised us.

We were suppose to surprise you.

Should've warned me.

Well, surprise.

(all)
Surprise!

Oh, gee, for me?

Is this man an actor or what?

Thanks.

Here's your gift.

It's from all of us,
but I picked it out.

[bell rings]

Well, I guess this is it.

Our last class together.

I'm already starting to cry
and it hasn't even started yet.

Well, I hope
I was able to teach you..

[all chuckling]

I know you taught me
something very special

or at least
you reminded me of it.

Teaching can an exciting
and rewarding..

[scoffs]

You know, I, I walked in here
a few weeks ago

and I started making demands
that you be honest

and share your feelings
and thoughts about things and..

For the last week,
I haven't been doing that.

I should be thrilled
that you're being reunited

with a truly fine teacher.

Someone you deserve.

And instead, I feel a loss.

I just keep thinkin'
about that guy

that had to leave center field
when Mookie Wilson came back.

I don't know
if he said anything, but

I think I know what he felt.

Well, I was just startin'
to really enjoy this.

Damn it. I'm sorry,
I have to leave.

Because this team was starting
to show some real potential.

'I've taught a lot of kids'

and I don't think
that I have ever in my..

[knock on door]

...entire career been
interrupted so frequently.

- I'm sorry to interrupt.
- Do you mind?

- It's important.
- I'm sure that it is.

But if you'll just give me
one more moment

the rest of their high school
days will be all yours.

I don't think so.

- What?
- Wait, what?

Christopher Marlowe said

"Nature does teaches us all
to have aspiring minds.

'Still climbing
after knowledge infinite."'

He was, of course,
referring to you.

Anatole France wrote

"The art of teaching
is the art of awakening

"the natural curiosity
of young minds

for the purpose
of satisfying that curiosity."

I hope he was referring to me.

I know he was referring
to Mr. Moore.

Which brings me
to my little confession.

I'm not really a pest,
Mr. Moore.

Forgive me
for disrupting your class

but you see, I was,
as they say, checking you out.

I can't tell you what a relief
it is to know I can retire.

[indistinct chatter]

- Retire?
- Retire?

You mean you're not comin' back?

I hadn't planned to.

But Dr. Samuels
called me everyday

to tell me that you were
destroying the honors class.

Well, he was wrong.

In the Talmud, it is written
find thyself a teacher.

Well, my dear friends,
it seems you have.

In the "Village Voice"
classifieds

it will be written wanna buy
a cheap ticket to Club Med?

[laughs]
No. I shall first visit Egypt.

The palace of Ramesses III,
which is also topless.

[all laughing]

- Well, Vernon.
- Thank you.

You're a difficult man
to follow, but..

...I feel honored
to take a shot.

Thank you, Charlie.

We hope you remember us
whenever you watch this.

Janice, how sweet.

"Eraserhead."

I was hoping for "Henry V."

Janice.

Well, they didn't
have "Henry V."

So I thought "Eraserhead" would
be suitable for a teacher.

Oh, Janice, it's alright.
I love it.

A joyous day for the IHP.

The teacher's teacher returns.

Mr. Moore, I know
we've had our differences

but to demonstrate
that I have no hard feelings

I offer you heartfelt
good wishes for your next job

'and present you
with these lovely, uh'

Fillmore High School cufflinks.

Mr. Thomas, Monday.

Mr. Moore..

...Godspeed.

Hit the road, Jack.

Why spoil his weekend?

[laughs]

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