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1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:03,466
- First, Mr.Walfish's tuque
in the eaves trough.
2
00:00:03,539 --> 00:00:05,907
And we mustn't forget
the visiting lieutenant
3
00:00:05,980 --> 00:00:08,347
you decked out
and accosted on the tarmac!
4
00:00:08,421 --> 00:00:11,188
- You understand a word
this hoser's saying, Silent Bob?
5
00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:14,897
How'd she get to be Principal
when she don't even speak
6
00:00:14,974 --> 00:00:16,340
gooder English
like us Americans?
7
00:00:16,411 --> 00:00:17,910
- You boys
are too bloody stupid
8
00:00:17,983 --> 00:00:19,983
to make the grade
down in the States,
9
00:00:20,056 --> 00:00:22,056
and your last hope
is the school system
10
00:00:22,128 --> 00:00:23,661
of the Great White North, eh!
11
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,632
You wanna get "oot" of Grade 12?
12
00:00:25,705 --> 00:00:28,506
You'd better start learning what
the metric system's all "aboot!"
13
00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:31,247
- I've got three words for you:
14
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:33,122
Go to--
15
00:00:33,194 --> 00:00:35,127
Sir!!!
- There'll be no more cuss words
16
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,133
out of you,
you potty-mouthed mall-rat!
17
00:00:37,206 --> 00:00:39,339
You're gonna learn
the dual languages
18
00:00:39,413 --> 00:00:40,945
of my home and native land,
19
00:00:41,018 --> 00:00:42,917
and you're gonna
SAVOUR MY POUTINE!
20
00:00:44,227 --> 00:00:46,427
'Cause you're in Canada now,
eh?
21
00:00:50,111 --> 00:00:52,045
- And that'd be a CUT!
22
00:00:52,117 --> 00:00:53,716
- Okay, boys, cut.
- Very nice.
23
00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:56,423
- Really?
It wasn't too subtle for you?
24
00:00:56,496 --> 00:00:58,229
- Subtle, no, but I do think
25
00:00:58,302 --> 00:01:00,369
the PM's gonna revoke
your citizenship.
26
00:01:00,442 --> 00:01:02,275
- Where am I gonna hide out
for four more years
27
00:01:02,347 --> 00:01:04,381
of Bush in the States?
It's why I'm here.
28
00:01:04,454 --> 00:01:06,787
- It's why I'm here.
Isn't that why you're here?
29
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:09,227
- Oh, no, sir... That's why
I'm here. Hey, how you doin'?
30
00:01:09,301 --> 00:01:12,235
- Craig, do not let this fool
mack on your broad
31
00:01:12,310 --> 00:01:14,343
just 'cause he's been
in a few movies.
32
00:01:14,416 --> 00:01:16,349
- A few bad movies.
- Exact...
33
00:01:16,422 --> 00:01:19,189
- So sorry, Kevin -
that was out loud, wasn't it?
34
00:01:19,264 --> 00:01:21,664
C'mon, Mewesey,
lets go make out in the trailer.
35
00:01:21,738 --> 00:01:24,105
- For real?
- For real.
36
00:01:24,178 --> 00:01:26,578
- And I cast her
in two movies as God...
37
00:01:26,652 --> 00:01:28,252
What are you doing here, sir?
38
00:01:28,324 --> 00:01:30,791
Shouldn't you be home
writing me a tune?
39
00:01:30,865 --> 00:01:32,965
- My fault. I dragged him away.
- She's, uh...
40
00:01:33,038 --> 00:01:34,937
She's abandoning me tomorrow.
- Right - London Calling.
41
00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:37,378
What will you do
before you leave the UK?
42
00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:39,050
- See a movie
in Leicester Square.
43
00:01:39,122 --> 00:01:41,590
- Very, very good!
Make sure you write this dude
44
00:01:41,664 --> 00:01:44,598
tones of lovey-dovey postcards.
I need him in that frame of mind
45
00:01:44,673 --> 00:01:46,472
so he can write me
a power ballad.
46
00:01:46,544 --> 00:01:49,512
I gotta get back to work.
You, I suggest you do the same.
47
00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:51,019
Beat it.
- Alright.
48
00:01:51,091 --> 00:01:53,692
Not like I'll have anything
better to do all summer.
49
00:01:53,766 --> 00:01:56,234
Right?
- Craig, please. You said.
50
00:01:56,306 --> 00:01:58,340
- It's a joke.
It's me, it's joking.
51
00:01:58,413 --> 00:02:01,147
It's great.
It's a great opportunity.
52
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,920
And I'll be fine.
Honest.
53
00:02:02,993 --> 00:02:07,429
- Less than 24 hours from now,
I'm on a plane to England.
54
00:02:15,263 --> 00:02:17,597
� Whatever it takes �
55
00:02:19,309 --> 00:02:21,909
� I know I can make it through �
56
00:02:21,982 --> 00:02:24,417
� Uh huh alright �
57
00:02:24,490 --> 00:02:26,424
� If I hold out �
58
00:02:26,496 --> 00:02:27,962
� If I do �
59
00:02:28,034 --> 00:02:31,135
� I know
I can make it through �
60
00:02:34,017 --> 00:02:35,451
� Be the best �
61
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:38,623
� Be the best I can �
62
00:02:38,699 --> 00:02:42,300
� And... and I say to you �
63
00:02:42,377 --> 00:02:45,978
� Whatever it takes �
� I know I can make it �
64
00:02:46,053 --> 00:02:48,354
� I know I can make it �
65
00:02:50,701 --> 00:02:53,234
� I know
I can make it through ��
66
00:02:54,947 --> 00:02:57,981
- So I've always been a huge fan
of Canada. Obviously.
67
00:02:58,056 --> 00:03:00,156
I love your country,
like it a lot.
68
00:03:00,229 --> 00:03:01,796
You don't invade
other countries.
69
00:03:01,867 --> 00:03:03,967
You kinda hang back,
try to go unnoticed,
70
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,674
so you don't get invaded.
Which is very sweet.
71
00:03:06,749 --> 00:03:10,951
- Right. So, um, just for a sec,
can we talk about the movie?
72
00:03:11,027 --> 00:03:13,728
- Movie? C'mon, man,
who're you, Regis and Kelly?
73
00:03:13,803 --> 00:03:16,504
I mean, since when does
"Signing-off-from-planet-Earth-
74
00:03:16,578 --> 00:03:19,011
I'm-Caitlin-Ryan"
wanna talk about the movies?
75
00:03:19,085 --> 00:03:22,820
- How do you know
the sign-off from my old show?
76
00:03:22,896 --> 00:03:24,328
- No, actually. Why?
77
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,301
- If you'd listen to me
the other day, you'd know:
78
00:03:27,376 --> 00:03:30,410
'cause I'm creepy.
I told you I was a big fan.
79
00:03:30,485 --> 00:03:32,752
See? I got a real thing
for pretty girls
80
00:03:32,826 --> 00:03:34,859
who chain themselves to trees
and say "aboot."
81
00:03:36,269 --> 00:03:39,871
- Uh... you are using real
Degrassi kids as actors, yes?
82
00:03:39,947 --> 00:03:43,148
- Yes, real students, and
we're shooting in the school
83
00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:45,189
and I'm very interested
in keeping it real.
84
00:03:45,262 --> 00:03:48,196
- And so why set the film--
- You don't wanna say the title,
85
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:51,472
do you? "Jay and Silent Bob
Go Canadian, Eh?"
86
00:03:51,548 --> 00:03:54,983
- Right. Why make them
"go Canadian"?
87
00:03:55,059 --> 00:03:59,160
- Um, well, I don't know,
if they ever needed a reason,
88
00:03:59,237 --> 00:04:01,972
I would say
that the very alluring women
89
00:04:02,045 --> 00:04:04,512
of the True North
would make any thinking man
90
00:04:04,586 --> 00:04:07,721
wanna "go Canadian," Ms. Ryan.
91
00:04:07,796 --> 00:04:09,730
Yeah, I'm talking about you!
92
00:04:09,801 --> 00:04:13,003
- And cut!
- That's lunch, everybody!
93
00:04:17,859 --> 00:04:21,193
- Liberty, you can buy bottles
of those at the grocery store.
94
00:04:21,269 --> 00:04:24,003
- Why buy them
when they're here, gratis?
95
00:04:24,077 --> 00:04:25,810
- You should've seen her
yesterday with the mini-corn.
96
00:04:25,883 --> 00:04:28,183
That was really gross.
97
00:04:28,256 --> 00:04:30,590
Dot's catering the shoot, okay?
98
00:04:30,663 --> 00:04:33,864
So until summer school starts,
I'm here,
99
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,373
and... got Jay a job, too.
100
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:41,054
So, uh, what are you having?
We have prime rib,
101
00:04:41,128 --> 00:04:43,829
chicken Cordon Blue--
- I'd rather eat my own liver
102
00:04:43,902 --> 00:04:45,802
than accept food
from you two scumbags.
103
00:04:45,875 --> 00:04:47,808
- Manning, do I need
to remind you
104
00:04:47,881 --> 00:04:51,015
that I'm holding
a big, scary knife in my hand?
105
00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:52,623
- Yeah?
106
00:04:52,695 --> 00:04:54,796
Watch your fingers.
107
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:58,240
- Did you take your pills
last night?
108
00:04:58,312 --> 00:04:59,912
- Don't ask me that.
It's embarrassing.
109
00:04:59,984 --> 00:05:02,584
- No, that was embarrassing.
110
00:05:02,658 --> 00:05:04,825
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
111
00:05:07,305 --> 00:05:09,238
- Jay, when I was born,
112
00:05:09,311 --> 00:05:12,578
Star Wars had already been out
on video for ten whole years.
113
00:05:12,654 --> 00:05:14,955
You're too old.
114
00:05:15,028 --> 00:05:18,129
- I know there's laws
to prevent it,
115
00:05:18,205 --> 00:05:20,504
I'm gonna marry Apollonia.
116
00:05:20,577 --> 00:05:24,412
She's the sugar in my maple,
the cheese in my poutine,
117
00:05:24,489 --> 00:05:26,890
the back in my bacon!
118
00:05:26,964 --> 00:05:29,164
- The "ick" in pathetic...
119
00:05:29,237 --> 00:05:31,603
- Ha, ha, ha! Cut.
120
00:05:31,677 --> 00:05:33,978
Very nice,Ellie.
"Ick in pathetic."
121
00:05:34,051 --> 00:05:36,718
Manny, nice job.
You...
122
00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:42,302
- Herr Direktor wanted
"a real goth girl."
123
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:45,377
From 1988, I guess.
124
00:05:45,451 --> 00:05:47,618
- He heard that, Marilyn Manson.
125
00:05:47,691 --> 00:05:50,259
- I did. And it really hurt.
I fought to cast you.
126
00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:52,967
- Only trying to get Morrissey
here to crack a smile.
127
00:05:53,041 --> 00:05:54,307
- Why?
128
00:05:54,378 --> 00:05:57,413
Ash is leaving to England,
where she's gonna find
129
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,587
some way cooler guy
with an accent,
130
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:02,394
fall madly in love
and never, ever come back.
131
00:06:02,469 --> 00:06:05,203
- Argh, the angst. Thank god
I'm not a teenager anymore.
132
00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,010
- It's not funny.
133
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:09,049
- That's right. It's...
134
00:06:09,122 --> 00:06:11,222
It's "pathetic."
135
00:06:12,866 --> 00:06:14,765
- Sir!
136
00:06:14,838 --> 00:06:17,572
What "flirt with-disaster" here
is trying to say
137
00:06:17,646 --> 00:06:19,146
is just go already, man.
138
00:06:19,218 --> 00:06:21,251
I dunno what you're doing
hanging around
139
00:06:21,325 --> 00:06:23,125
the hallways of Degrassi
all summer anyway.
140
00:06:23,196 --> 00:06:26,064
Find some summer music program
with Coldplay or some excuse.
141
00:06:26,139 --> 00:06:29,340
But just go hang out
with your old lady in London.
142
00:06:29,415 --> 00:06:31,381
What could be better than that?
Beats this.
143
00:06:31,454 --> 00:06:33,421
Can I speak with you
for a second?
144
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:35,193
The teenage-girl thing
has to stop.
145
00:06:35,266 --> 00:06:38,033
It was funny the first time,
now it's just sick.
146
00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:40,740
Sick.
You have a problem.
147
00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:51,209
- Stepmom alert!
148
00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:53,079
Minimize! Minimize!
149
00:06:53,152 --> 00:06:55,885
- You can't even get to porn
in here.
150
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,160
Simpson has "Online Officer."
151
00:06:57,231 --> 00:06:58,963
- What about travel porn?
152
00:06:59,036 --> 00:07:02,171
Money shots of pigeons
fouling Trafalgar Square?
153
00:07:02,246 --> 00:07:04,312
Big Ben in the rain?
154
00:07:04,385 --> 00:07:06,318
- So you don't think
me going to England
155
00:07:06,391 --> 00:07:08,591
is the worst idea since...
156
00:07:08,664 --> 00:07:10,897
whatever my last idea was?
157
00:07:10,971 --> 00:07:14,105
-I think a summer away would be
great for you, actually.
158
00:07:23,642 --> 00:07:25,342
- I'm trying to get the Canadian flag
159
00:07:25,414 --> 00:07:26,746
into every shot in the movie.
160
00:07:26,818 --> 00:07:29,185
'Cause I'm a really big fan of the Canadian flag.
161
00:07:29,259 --> 00:07:31,226
So was Mewes
until he figured out
162
00:07:31,298 --> 00:07:33,465
it was a maple leaf
163
00:07:33,538 --> 00:07:35,003
instead of...
164
00:07:35,075 --> 00:07:37,008
the wacky...
165
00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:38,948
- Ah, you've got something
more Hollywood, right?
166
00:07:39,020 --> 00:07:40,754
More dishy?
167
00:07:40,826 --> 00:07:43,026
- Kevin is not exactly "dishy."
168
00:07:43,099 --> 00:07:46,067
I mean he's, uh...
more self-deprecating,
169
00:07:46,142 --> 00:07:48,342
funny.
- Funny's good.
170
00:07:48,415 --> 00:07:51,449
Especially when it's coming
from a bona-fide celebrity.
171
00:07:51,525 --> 00:07:53,258
Let's use this opportunity,
okay?
172
00:07:53,330 --> 00:07:55,397
Take "Local Heroes"
to a new level.
173
00:07:55,469 --> 00:07:57,503
- A lower level...
- That's right.
174
00:07:57,575 --> 00:07:59,342
We're talking the same language.
175
00:08:03,928 --> 00:08:06,094
- Would you call something
up for me?
176
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:07,701
Around the three-minute mark.
177
00:08:07,772 --> 00:08:09,872
- If you look at it,
more Democrats went
178
00:08:09,946 --> 00:08:12,880
to see "Shrek 2" last year
than voted in the election,
179
00:08:12,955 --> 00:08:16,122
so what's there to get excited
about? Or "aboot"?
180
00:08:16,197 --> 00:08:17,997
- That's going in.
181
00:08:18,070 --> 00:08:21,004
Don't worry about Tomas.
I'll take the bullet.
182
00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:23,079
(cellphone ringing)
183
00:08:23,151 --> 00:08:25,318
Hello. Caitlin Ryan.
184
00:08:25,392 --> 00:08:27,592
Yes, this is she.
185
00:08:29,670 --> 00:08:31,937
What?
186
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:34,812
This guy buys an SUV yesterday -
187
00:08:34,887 --> 00:08:36,953
top of the line, 80+.
188
00:08:37,026 --> 00:08:39,660
He comes back today,
buys one for the wife.
189
00:08:39,734 --> 00:08:43,001
- Wow. Amazing for you.
Not for global warming...
190
00:08:44,949 --> 00:08:47,883
- I know, I know. As usual,
you're my conscience.
191
00:08:47,958 --> 00:08:50,959
But, honey, two SUVs!
192
00:08:51,033 --> 00:08:55,903
- Um... I had a windfall
today too, actually.
193
00:08:55,982 --> 00:08:59,049
A rep for a big...
194
00:08:59,124 --> 00:09:01,959
well, big-ish broadcaster
in LA called.
195
00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:05,267
They want to revive
"Ryan's Planet."
196
00:09:05,342 --> 00:09:07,943
- Really? From up here?
197
00:09:08,018 --> 00:09:09,985
- Down there.
198
00:09:11,862 --> 00:09:13,662
But, uh...
199
00:09:13,735 --> 00:09:16,068
of course, I can't accept it.
200
00:09:16,142 --> 00:09:18,643
Leave my family?
201
00:09:20,689 --> 00:09:24,624
- Your family, which includes
a sexy little car magnate
202
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:26,934
who loves you very much.
203
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:34,288
What an honour being asked, huh?
204
00:09:34,361 --> 00:09:36,762
- Yeah...
205
00:09:36,836 --> 00:09:39,637
Uh, so Craig's in the garage
206
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:42,846
and he has something
he wants to talk to you about.
207
00:09:42,921 --> 00:09:45,221
As a favour, try to listen?
208
00:09:57,531 --> 00:09:59,597
- Apparently I'm supposed
209
00:09:59,671 --> 00:10:02,572
to be "open."
As in "my mind."
210
00:10:02,646 --> 00:10:05,881
- Okay, there's this great
music school...
211
00:10:05,956 --> 00:10:07,589
- In Camden.
- It's part of London.
212
00:10:07,661 --> 00:10:09,795
I'd be earning a credit
for next year.
213
00:10:09,867 --> 00:10:12,568
- You wanna go to England?
- It's just for the summer
214
00:10:12,643 --> 00:10:14,876
and he's got education money
in his trust fund.
215
00:10:14,949 --> 00:10:17,984
- Yeah, Ashley's dad is there
and there are like teacher types
216
00:10:18,058 --> 00:10:20,993
in my dorm.
Just say yes.
217
00:10:21,067 --> 00:10:23,534
Just give in already.
218
00:10:23,608 --> 00:10:25,708
Caitlin and I
have thought of everything.
219
00:10:25,781 --> 00:10:29,716
- Not six months ago,
you were hospitalized,
220
00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:31,459
diagnosed bi-polar.
221
00:10:31,532 --> 00:10:33,999
- I'm okay now.
I'm on my meds.
222
00:10:34,073 --> 00:10:36,606
I've been on them for months.
- Craig, no,
223
00:10:36,681 --> 00:10:38,580
I don't feel comfortable
with you being
224
00:10:38,653 --> 00:10:41,353
thousands of miles away from me.
What if something went wrong?
225
00:10:41,427 --> 00:10:43,561
- Right.
226
00:10:43,633 --> 00:10:45,433
I mean, England
probably wouldn't
227
00:10:45,506 --> 00:10:47,673
even let a psychopath
like me in.
228
00:10:47,746 --> 00:10:49,612
Right?
229
00:10:49,685 --> 00:10:51,885
They already had one:
Jack the Ripper!
230
00:10:51,959 --> 00:10:54,359
And mad-cow disease!
231
00:10:54,433 --> 00:10:56,066
- I'm not saying that, Craig...
232
00:11:02,289 --> 00:11:06,024
- Listen, girl-fiend,
you and your so-post-pubescent-
233
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:08,934
he-makes-The-Backstreet-Boys-
look-relevant boyfriend
234
00:11:09,009 --> 00:11:11,743
can kiss my yoga-toned ass.
235
00:11:11,818 --> 00:11:13,550
- Listen, lady,
there's some places
236
00:11:13,622 --> 00:11:15,689
I won't even put my mouth!
237
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:18,963
- And that'd be a cut.
Thank god.
238
00:11:19,039 --> 00:11:22,540
That will bring us outta
the scene, people.
239
00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:24,249
And Paige?
- Yes, Mr. Smith?
240
00:11:24,321 --> 00:11:27,689
Did you love me,
did you really, really love me?
241
00:11:27,764 --> 00:11:29,898
- Oh, love's not the word, hon.
242
00:11:29,971 --> 00:11:32,538
That's a wrap for you today.
Thank you.
243
00:11:32,611 --> 00:11:34,645
You were very, uh...
you were very.
244
00:11:37,393 --> 00:11:39,227
You guys were good,
really good.
245
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,566
Let's do the next one.
246
00:11:41,638 --> 00:11:44,039
Ohmygawd,
247
00:11:44,113 --> 00:11:46,013
lady, you are just flat-out
haunting me.
248
00:11:46,086 --> 00:11:47,218
Keep coming to the set,
249
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,422
I'll have to put you
in the movie.
250
00:11:49,496 --> 00:11:51,429
- She better not get
more lines than me, sir.
251
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:54,169
- Don't worry, the movie's not
called "Caitlin and Silent Bob."
252
00:11:54,243 --> 00:11:56,476
- Oh, but that's the movie
you wanna make.
253
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,049
- Well, d'uh.
- X-rated version.
254
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,260
- Well, that was awkward.
255
00:12:02,334 --> 00:12:04,935
How are you?
- Great.
256
00:12:05,008 --> 00:12:08,676
I got a call last night,
from, um... LA.
257
00:12:08,752 --> 00:12:11,987
- Ah!!! A call from LA?
No, I don't believe it.
258
00:12:12,063 --> 00:12:15,264
- So I just wanted to thank you
for setting it up.
259
00:12:15,339 --> 00:12:17,973
- No need to thank me.
- Well, I do,
260
00:12:18,047 --> 00:12:20,547
'cause, uh... I said no.
261
00:12:20,621 --> 00:12:23,555
- Um... no? Wait.
262
00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:26,365
No? You didn't...
You can't say no.
263
00:12:26,438 --> 00:12:28,671
- I have a family,
I have my own show.
264
00:12:28,745 --> 00:12:31,246
I mean,
I can't just take off to LA.
265
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:32,452
- Not for nothing,
266
00:12:32,523 --> 00:12:35,391
but you gotta go back
to acting globally.
267
00:12:35,465 --> 00:12:37,032
Never mind all this local stuff;
268
00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:38,969
it's heartbreaking
seeing you sitting around
269
00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:40,342
cobbling together puff pieces
270
00:12:40,413 --> 00:12:43,447
about visiting D-grade
celebrities. It's beneath you.
271
00:12:43,523 --> 00:12:46,457
- D-grade celebrities?
272
00:12:46,531 --> 00:12:49,031
- Yeah.
- Like you?
273
00:12:50,877 --> 00:12:52,843
- Wait!
274
00:12:52,916 --> 00:12:56,085
- Yo, I'm at least
a C-grade celebrity, though.
275
00:12:57,129 --> 00:12:58,528
- I have no process.
276
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,501
I don't consider myself
a filmmaker, really.
277
00:13:01,576 --> 00:13:04,110
I'm just a guy who gets to direct what he writes.
278
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:06,350
- Sorry, Caitlin,
I'm locking you out
279
00:13:06,424 --> 00:13:08,124
of the edit suite on this one.
- What?
280
00:13:08,195 --> 00:13:10,362
You're taking the Kevin Smith
spot away from me?
281
00:13:10,435 --> 00:13:12,968
- Yeah. I want
celebrity gossip, alright?
282
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,743
Even non-celebrity gossip.
283
00:13:14,814 --> 00:13:17,282
Hell, if this guy
spent the whole segment
284
00:13:17,356 --> 00:13:18,855
talking about his gay dog,
285
00:13:18,926 --> 00:13:21,093
it'd be more enjoyable
than this.
286
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,733
- I try not to overthink it.
287
00:13:23,808 --> 00:13:25,941
- It's his process
as a filmmaker!
288
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,781
- Yeah, and I'm not laughing,
alright?
289
00:13:27,853 --> 00:13:29,687
I'm not hearing anything
about Bennifer.
290
00:13:29,758 --> 00:13:32,025
- Every time
I hand something in to you,
291
00:13:32,099 --> 00:13:34,366
you rip it apart
or you change it!
292
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:35,872
Why?
293
00:13:35,943 --> 00:13:39,078
- Why? You tell me, Caitlin.
This isn't "Ryan's World."
294
00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:41,487
- Ryan's Planet.
- Or that.
295
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,695
It's "Local Heroes."
296
00:13:44,770 --> 00:13:47,538
- I quit.
297
00:13:53,796 --> 00:13:56,029
- So it still needs lyrics,
but what do you think?
298
00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:58,804
- It's good!
I got something for it.
299
00:13:58,878 --> 00:14:00,878
Ashley please don't go
300
00:14:00,951 --> 00:14:02,818
Please don't leave me
301
00:14:02,890 --> 00:14:04,657
Don't fall in love
302
00:14:04,729 --> 00:14:06,862
With an ugly Limey
- Shut up.
303
00:14:09,142 --> 00:14:11,943
- You can't throw fries
at a kid in a wheelchair.
304
00:14:14,826 --> 00:14:16,225
- Craig.
305
00:14:16,297 --> 00:14:19,665
- Let's go get our seats.
- Craig, listen.
306
00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:21,473
I know you thought
I was being offensive,
307
00:14:21,546 --> 00:14:23,546
but, honestly,
I wasn't trying to hurt you.
308
00:14:23,618 --> 00:14:25,084
- Yeah, well, you did.
I mean,
309
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:28,224
why do I take the stupid pills?
You don't believe I'm better.
310
00:14:32,444 --> 00:14:34,678
- There are conditions, though.
311
00:14:34,752 --> 00:14:37,318
I'm calling the school
to disclose your illness.
312
00:14:37,393 --> 00:14:39,359
I want you to call me every day,
313
00:14:39,432 --> 00:14:41,198
especially if something
doesn't feel right.
314
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:43,571
And I want Mr. Kerwin
to keep an eye on you, too.
315
00:14:43,644 --> 00:14:45,110
- Yeah. Everything. Anything.
316
00:14:45,181 --> 00:14:48,717
I can handle it. I can, really.
317
00:14:55,211 --> 00:14:57,712
Hey.
318
00:14:57,786 --> 00:15:00,420
What d'you got in here?
319
00:15:00,494 --> 00:15:02,461
- Every shoe I own.
320
00:15:06,713 --> 00:15:08,179
You know, I thought
this whole goodbye thing
321
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:10,751
was gonna be so hard.
But I'm so glad you're here,
322
00:15:10,825 --> 00:15:12,859
and you surprised me.
323
00:15:12,931 --> 00:15:16,099
- Parting is so
not sweet sorrow.
324
00:15:18,113 --> 00:15:19,613
I'm, uh, I'm coming.
325
00:15:19,684 --> 00:15:21,117
Tomorrow.
326
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:24,490
But since it's a red-eye,
I'll be in London the day after.
327
00:15:24,566 --> 00:15:26,733
- You're just flying to London?
328
00:15:26,805 --> 00:15:28,972
- It's what planes are for.
329
00:15:29,045 --> 00:15:31,712
- You can't follow me
to England.
330
00:15:33,157 --> 00:15:34,823
- Ash, come on...
331
00:15:34,896 --> 00:15:37,730
- Why... why are you here
doing this?
332
00:15:37,805 --> 00:15:40,072
Are you off your meds?
333
00:15:40,144 --> 00:15:42,045
- No, I'm not off my meds.
334
00:15:42,117 --> 00:15:44,084
I'm here 'cause I love you
335
00:15:44,156 --> 00:15:45,923
and I have plans.
- So do I, Craig.
336
00:15:45,996 --> 00:15:47,762
And you said
you were okay with them.
337
00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:49,601
You said it repeatedly -
so what is this?
338
00:15:49,673 --> 00:15:52,273
- This is trying to figure out
how we're gonna spend
339
00:15:52,347 --> 00:15:54,748
the summer together.
You think I'm having an episode!
340
00:15:54,822 --> 00:15:56,254
- I don't know what to think!
341
00:15:56,326 --> 00:15:59,928
Look, I need space.
I need to get away.
342
00:16:00,004 --> 00:16:02,203
- Oh, okay.
343
00:16:02,277 --> 00:16:04,477
- From you.
344
00:16:04,550 --> 00:16:07,818
Look, Craig, I love you.
345
00:16:07,894 --> 00:16:11,062
But ever since my dad's wedding,
it's been me, worrying.
346
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,771
Me watching for signs,
watching what I say.
347
00:16:13,844 --> 00:16:15,844
- Why won't you just believe me?
I'm better now.
348
00:16:15,917 --> 00:16:17,516
I'm okay.
349
00:16:17,589 --> 00:16:19,056
I am.
350
00:16:20,699 --> 00:16:22,799
- Email me, okay?
351
00:16:22,871 --> 00:16:25,706
I'll see you in September.
352
00:16:42,295 --> 00:16:44,562
- He says,
"It's 'Local Heroes.' "
353
00:16:44,636 --> 00:16:47,470
Like... like, it's actually
a good title.
354
00:16:47,543 --> 00:16:50,378
- It's the single worst title
since "Hope Floats."
355
00:16:50,452 --> 00:16:53,720
- Thank you!
'Cause you'd think
356
00:16:53,797 --> 00:16:56,497
he would want me
to add some substance
357
00:16:56,570 --> 00:16:59,272
to his crappy, unoriginal idea
of a show.
358
00:16:59,346 --> 00:17:02,047
If he was here right now,
I'd throw this drink,
359
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:03,854
with the ice cubes,
in his face.
360
00:17:03,927 --> 00:17:06,527
- Listen to you! Right on!
361
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,302
This is the Caitlin Ryan
I remember, the Caitlin Ryan
362
00:17:09,375 --> 00:17:12,043
from the DVDs - "Ryan's
Planet." That Caitlin Ryan.
363
00:17:12,117 --> 00:17:14,484
- No, this is the Caitlin
that produces fluff
364
00:17:14,557 --> 00:17:18,792
like camping trips
and high-school blood drives
365
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,537
and... I need another drink.
366
00:17:21,611 --> 00:17:23,644
- No, hon, you don't need
another drink.
367
00:17:23,717 --> 00:17:25,150
You know,
I need about ten drinks
368
00:17:25,222 --> 00:17:27,322
to get to whatever plane
you're on right now.
369
00:17:27,396 --> 00:17:29,329
- Uh-huh.
370
00:17:29,402 --> 00:17:35,006
So who's on Kevin's "plane"
anyhoo?
371
00:17:35,085 --> 00:17:36,818
- Is that your very drunk,
charming way
372
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,657
of asking me if I'm involved
with anybody, Ms. Ryan?
373
00:17:39,732 --> 00:17:41,165
- No.
- No?
374
00:17:41,237 --> 00:17:43,804
- I'm just, actually,
asking if you're gay.
375
00:17:43,877 --> 00:17:46,678
- Gay? No, I'm not gay.
376
00:17:46,753 --> 00:17:48,786
Is that what you think?
377
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:52,294
Heavens, no. Just...
Why, do I come off as gay?
378
00:17:52,370 --> 00:17:54,437
'Cause I thought...
- A little.
379
00:17:54,509 --> 00:17:57,477
- Do I really? Right on.
380
00:17:57,551 --> 00:18:00,419
Good to know. No, no.
I'm very into chicks, actually.
381
00:18:00,494 --> 00:18:02,060
I like chicks quite a bit.
382
00:18:02,132 --> 00:18:04,466
- So why aren't you married?
383
00:18:04,539 --> 00:18:07,040
- Well, um... I think I've just
always been kinda waiting
384
00:18:07,114 --> 00:18:10,148
for that one woman who
I like to refer to as the Iris.
385
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:14,258
- Ohmygawd, you're engaged
to a woman named Iris
386
00:18:14,335 --> 00:18:16,335
and I'm sitting here
hitting on you.
387
00:18:16,408 --> 00:18:19,475
- No, hon, no, calm down. Its...
Boy, you are drunk.
388
00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:22,084
Do you know
what it means "to iris-in"?
389
00:18:22,158 --> 00:18:24,624
No, you wouldn't remember
if you did.
390
00:18:24,698 --> 00:18:26,231
It's a film term
391
00:18:26,303 --> 00:18:28,836
and, uh, it's like, at the end
of a Chaplin short -
392
00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:30,177
ever seen one of those?
393
00:18:30,248 --> 00:18:33,349
When Chaplin's walking away,
the camera and the images
394
00:18:33,424 --> 00:18:35,291
are shrinking
into a little circle.
395
00:18:35,363 --> 00:18:37,097
"Iris-ing in." And I think
396
00:18:37,169 --> 00:18:40,437
that I've always kinda been
waiting for that one woman
397
00:18:40,512 --> 00:18:42,979
that just, you know,
makes me...
398
00:18:43,052 --> 00:18:45,286
"iris in."
I'm sorry, did you say
399
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,093
you were hitting on me before?
400
00:18:55,590 --> 00:18:58,458
Omygod, that was so awesome.
401
00:18:58,533 --> 00:19:01,933
Are you alright? I'm sorry,
I didn't... Are you okay?
402
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:05,009
'Cause that was awesome for me.
403
00:19:05,084 --> 00:19:07,185
Caitlin, wait!
404
00:19:08,896 --> 00:19:11,330
- So?
405
00:19:11,404 --> 00:19:13,170
- So.
- So you've been home
406
00:19:13,242 --> 00:19:16,243
for half an hour,
you haven't said a word.
407
00:19:16,318 --> 00:19:18,050
I get it. You don't want
408
00:19:18,123 --> 00:19:20,123
to tell the "dad"
all the private details.
409
00:19:20,196 --> 00:19:22,763
Even if that dad did pay
for the plane ticket...?
410
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,749
Ashley was happy, right?
411
00:19:28,821 --> 00:19:31,522
- Thrilled.
Blissed out.
412
00:19:31,596 --> 00:19:34,330
Neither of us can wait
till I get there.
413
00:19:34,405 --> 00:19:36,405
- Good.
414
00:19:36,478 --> 00:19:37,977
- Yeah.
415
00:19:38,048 --> 00:19:40,283
All this excitement...
416
00:19:40,356 --> 00:19:42,623
Gotta sleep.
417
00:19:42,696 --> 00:19:44,862
- Alright, buddy, get some rest.
We got a big day tomorrow.
418
00:19:44,936 --> 00:19:48,070
We gotta get you luggage,
money belt, some British pounds.
419
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,645
Tally ho!
420
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:53,990
Young love.
421
00:19:54,062 --> 00:19:56,496
And not-quite-so-young love.
422
00:20:04,226 --> 00:20:07,093
I don't know
what kinda love that was,
423
00:20:07,168 --> 00:20:09,101
but that was good.
- Marry me.
424
00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:11,875
- Have you been drinking?
- Yes.
425
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:13,483
No. Yes.
426
00:20:13,554 --> 00:20:15,287
But just marry me.
427
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:19,127
I want to come home to you,
I wanna wake up with you,
428
00:20:19,204 --> 00:20:22,005
I wanna focus
all my attention on you.
429
00:20:22,078 --> 00:20:25,146
- I thought you'd never ask.
430
00:20:25,222 --> 00:20:27,022
Yes.
431
00:20:57,618 --> 00:20:59,918
Hey, you ready?
You got everything?
432
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,858
Your camera, passport?
433
00:21:01,931 --> 00:21:04,064
All my phone numbers,
Ashley's dad's number?
434
00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:07,104
- Yes, for the 400th time.
Stop worrying!
435
00:21:07,179 --> 00:21:09,713
You're all grown up.
436
00:21:09,787 --> 00:21:12,655
Hey, I'm proud of you,
you know that?
437
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:16,167
- Yeah.
438
00:21:16,239 --> 00:21:18,373
- Have a great trip.
439
00:21:18,446 --> 00:21:21,180
- See you in September.
440
00:21:21,254 --> 00:21:23,488
- Yeah.
441
00:21:27,238 --> 00:21:29,038
- We're not going
to the airport.
442
00:21:29,111 --> 00:21:31,244
There's been a change of plans.
- Okay.
443
00:21:38,553 --> 00:21:41,588
DVD Subtitling: CNST, Montreal
444
00:21:41,638 --> 00:21:46,188
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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