Original subtitles

QUESTION 30. RAM. WHAT DOES IT STAND FOR?

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY.

HMM? I'M SORRY?

YOU ASKED A QUESTION.

THE ANSWER ISRANDOM ACCESS MEMORY.

RIGHT, RIGHT. I'M SORRY GUYS.

I'M MORE THAN A LITTLEDISTRACTED TODAY!

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY GETTING MARRIED... TOMORROW.

OKAY, WELL, THAT'S IT. ANY FINAL QUESTIONS?

YES.

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO OPENTHIS?

GUYS...

SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH.

OKAY, OKAY, UH WHERE TO START.

AHH, LOVE - EXCITING AND NEW.

DO WE REALLY HAVE TO HEAR THIS?

JT, SHUT UP?I'M TRYING TO LISTEN.

AND I'M ABOUT TO THROW UP.

SOMEBODY'S NEVERBEEN IN LOVE.

AND YOU HAVE SEAN?

REALLY? WITH WHO EXACTLY?

NOT EMMA BY ANY CHANCE?

[Screams]

AGH! MOM!

MOM?

MOM?

THERE YOU ARE! I THOUGHTYOU LEFT WITHOUT ME.

AND REMEMBER, BREATHE.

I HAD TO GET SOMETHING FOR MY HEAD.

YOU DON'T HAVE A COLD?

NO, NO. JUST A HEADACHE.

OKAY. OKAY, I'M TRYING NOT TOPANIC, JUST BEING REALISTIC.

WE HAVE A LOT TO DO TODAY,BEFORE TOMORROW.

EM, LET ME JUST GO UPSTAIRSAND TAKE THIS FIRST.

NO.

TAKE IT IN THE CAR.GO.

OKAY.

OKAY. I'LL JUST RUN IN AND OUT, OKAY?

THEN WE'LL HIT THE ENGRAVER'S,THE CATERER'S AND HOME

BEFORE CAITLIN ARRIVES TO PERMMY HAIR.

AND DON'T FORGET TO TAKE YOURHEADACHE STUFF.

I'LL BE BACK BEFORE YOU KNOWIT.

? Whatever it takes

? I know I can make it through

? If I hold out

? I know I can make it through

? Be the best

? The best that I can be

? Hear what I say to you

? Whatever it takes

? I know I can make it

? I know I can make itthrough...

TRUE LOVE DOES TOO EXIST, JT.

YEAH, RIGHT.

JUST BECAUSE YOUR "QUEST"FOR AN OLDER WOMAN

HAS BEEN, LIKE, POINTLESS -IT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S NOT REAL.

IS SHE REAL?

HEY, I THOUGHT YOU WEREOFF TODAY, EMMA?

I AM. I HAVE TO TURN THIS INTO KWAN.

MS. KWAN? ONE ESSAY.ONE ATTENDANCE SLIP.

IF ONLY ALL STUDENTS WERE ASHARD-WORKING AS YOU, EMMA.

SO EM, REMEMBER A CERTAINSOMEONE YOU DATED LAST YEAR?

SEAN.

SEEMS HE'S STILLIN LOVE WITH YOU.

SEAN? IN LOVE WITH ME?

NO, SEAN AND I DATED.WE WEREN'T IN LOVE.

NOT WHAT HE SAYS.

SO YOU HAVE TO INVITEHIM TO THE WEDDING!

NO, I DON'T.

SEAN AND I ARE OVER.NO MATTER WHAT YOU HEARD.

WHAT DID YOU HEAR?

DOESN'T MATTER, RIGHT?IT'S OVER.

RIGHT. AND I'M LATE,SO BUTT OUT.

YOU'RE STILL STAYING OVERTONIGHT THOUGH, RIGHT?

YEAH. I GUESS.

OKAY, BYE.

PUT ON YOUR SHOES!

HEY SEAN.

HEY MANNY.

SO... TOMORROW -BIG WEDDING.

YEAH, GIVE MY BESTTO MS. NELSON.

ACTUALLY -YOU CAN TELL HER.

EMMA CAME BY EARLIERTO GET SOME BOOKS

AND SHE SAIDTHIS WAS FOR YOU.

EMMA WANTS ME AT THE WEDDING?

YEAH. SHE, MADE ME PROMISE I'D,LIKE, GET THIS TO YOU.

COOL. THANKS.

THANKS MANNY.

.'JT, MATH CLASSIS THAT WAY.

YEAH, I KNOW. BUT WE HAVE AVERY IMPORTANT PIT-STOP TO MAKE

OKAY...

I'VE BEEN THINKING.

THERE ARE SOME UPSIDES TO'LOVE': EMMA GOT THE DAY OFF.

YEAH.

SIMPSON CANCELLEDHOMEWORK.

TRUE.

AND STRIPPERS.

BECAUSE WHEN I THINK OF LOVE,I ALWAYS THINK OF STRIPPERS.

MARRIAGE EQUALS STAG PARTYEQUALS STRIPPERS

WHICH EQUALS TONIGHT.

A STRIPPER? TONIGHT?

JUST KEEP IT COOL.CRAIG MANNING.

JP... AND TONY.WHAT'S UP?

YEAH, IT'S ACTUALLY JTAND TOBY.

UM, SO WE HEARD THAT YOURSTEP-DAD IS HOSTING

A LITTLE GET-TOGETHER TONIGHT,HUH?

YEAH. A STAG.

RIGHT. WE WERE JUST HOPING THATMAYBE WE COULD UH, DROP BY.

AND MAYBE WISH MR. SIMPSONGOOD LUCK.

AND IF THERE'S A STRIPPERTHERE,

WE'D LOVE TO GIVE HEROUR BEST.

NO STRIPPERS, GUYS.

SIMPSON TOLD JOEYNOT TO GET ONE.

WHAT? IT'S LIKE A RITEOF PASSAGE!

IT'S SIMPSON'S LAST NIGHTOF FREEDOM.

HE CAN'T NOT HAVEA STRIPPER!

I KNOW, I KNOW.IT'S LAME.

IT'S UNFORGIVABLY LAME.

SO CRAIG, YOU WANNA DOSOMETHING ABOUT IT?

LET ME DO THE TALKING, BOYS.

TONIGHT IT'S SHOWTIME.

SHE'S THE ONE, CRAIG.

SHE HAS GOT TO BE THE ONE!

DOWN, BOY.

YEAH, TOBES, GROSS.

BUT WE CAN GET HER, RIGHT?

BOY SCOUTS ARE DOWN THE ROAD.

UH, WE'RE ACTUALLY HERE TOINQUIRE ABOUT MS. FANNY.

FANCY.

FANCY. IF SHE'S AVAILABLETONIGHT.

YES, FOR AN OUTSIDE ENGAGEMENT.

FANCY DON'T DO NO SQUAREDANCING.

COME BACK WHEN YOU'RE LEGAL.

WAIT, NO!

THIS IS GOING TO TAKE SOMEVERY DELICATE NEGOTIATING.

WHICH IS WHY YOU TWO ARESTAYING HERE.

HEY JOEY!

CRAIG. DID YOU GOT EVERYTHINGI NEED FOR TONIGHT?

ALMOST EVERYTHING.IT'S LIKE THIS.

I'M AT THE STORE,FACED WITH A CHOICE.

S'CUSE ME.

YEAH. NOW DO I GET, LISTEN,

DO I GET PLAIN BORING CHIPS,OR HOT AND SPICY NACHOS.

AND WHAT DO YOU THINK I GOT?

I DON'T KNOW.ICE CREAM?

I GOT HOT AND SPICY.

GOOD.

LIKE, SAY, TONIGHT.

PLAIN BORING STAG EVENT,

OR HOT AND SPICY STAG PARTY.

ALL IT TAKES IS ONE FANCYSTRIPPER.

AH NO, NO.

COME ON! IT'S TRADITION, JOEY.

YEAH. I KNOW IT'S A TRADITION,CRAIG.

YEAH! SO, HOW ABOUT IT?

NO! IT GOES AGAINSTSNAKES WISHES, ALL RIGHT?

IT'S SEXIST, IT'S UN-PC...

YEAH, BUT...

AND IT'S PERFECT.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING TOEMBARRASS THE HECK OUT OF HIM.

FINE. BUT TECHNICALLY,THIS WAS YOUR IDEA.

I'M NOT GETTIN' IN TROUBLEFOR IT.

ANGIE!

I'M GOING TO GRANDMA'S!

YES, YOU ARE. COME ON, BABY.

OKAY. SO YOU'RE SURE IT'LL JUSTBE A BODY PERM, RIGHT?

LIKE THIS?

EM, I DO THISFOR A LIVING. YES.

OKAY, 20 MINUTES.

ARE YOU OKAY IF I GO UPAND HAVE A SHOWER?

YES.JUST GO AND RELAX.

WEDDING CAKE.

OKAY.

JUST SIGN HERE, PLEASE.

NO...

THANK YOU.

"HAPPY BAT MITZVAH, RHODA?!"

MOM - MAJOR EMERGENCY!

THIS CAKE ISN'T YOURS.

UNLESS YOU CHANGED YOUR NAMETO RHODA?

JUST SEND IT BACK.NO BIG DEAL.

NO BIG DEAL?THIS IS YOUR WEDDING CAKE.

THERE'S WAY MORE IMPORTANTSTUFF GOING ON, EM.

WAY MORE IMPORTANT.

YEAH, LIKE WHAT?

THE TEST IS POSITIVE.

I'M PREGNANT.

HEY EM.

EM, WHAT'S WRONG?

MY MOM IS PREGNANT.

WOW.

HOW DID IT HAPPEN?

I MEAN, I KNOW HOWIT HAPPENED BUT...

DID THEY PLAN IT?

NO. AT LEAST,I DON'T THINK SO.

WELL, IT'S KIND OF EXCITING.

ON SOME LEVEL.

HOW ABOUT SOME GOOD NEWS?

PLEASE. ANYTHING.

GUESS WHO'S COMING TOMORROW?

SEAN CAMERON! YOUR LOVE!

YOU'RE NOT SMILING.

MANNY, I TOLD YOU NO SEAN.

I WAS TRYING TO HELP.

BY PLAYING MATCHMAKER?GO HELP AND UN-INVITE HIM.

OKAY, BUT -WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

AHHH! MY PERM!

MOM?

MY HAIR!

YOUR HAIR!

MY HAIR.

HONEY, IT'LL BE OKAY,I PROMISE.

WHEN?

WELL...

WHEN?

AFTER THE WEDDING.

I CAN'T PUT ANY MORE CHEMICALSIN YOUR HAIR RIGHT NOW -

IT'LL FALL OUT.

[DOOR BELL]

I'LL GET THAT.

I'M GONNA BE YOUR MAID OFHONOUR, LOOKING LIKE THIS?!

IT'LL BE OKAY.

HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

HI. GOOD TO SEE YOU.

I MISSED YOU!

SO? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR WEDDINGPARTY?

I LOVE THEM. I JUST TOLD YOUGUYS, WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT.

WE ARE - IT JUST SO HAPPENS WEBOTH LOVE THE SAME DRESS.

YEAH, WE WANTED TO DO IT.COME ON.

GUYS, IT'S JUST A WEDDING.

YEAH, YOUR WEDDING.

TO SNAKE. TO ARCHIE.

HOW ARE YOU?

AND WHAT HAPPENED?

SOMEBODY LEFT MY PERMSOLUTION IN TOO LONG.

SPIKE, YOU DIDN'T!

I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSEDTO BE A PROFESSIONAL?

I AM, BUT -

GETTING MARRIED IS HUGE.

WELL, THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERETO HELP.

THAT'S RIGHT. AND TO TAKE YOURMIND OFF THINGS,

WE'RE THROWING A LITTLE GIRLSNIGHT OUT LATER.

BECAUSE IF SNAKE CAN GO OUTTONIGHT, SO CAN YOU.

THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S GREAT.

YOU GUYS ARE SO GREAT!

COME HERE, GIVE ME HUG!

DOIN' SOME GOOD WORK, MAN.

HUH?

OH, HERE, USE THIS.

SO I THOUGHT MAYBE WE'D UH,GET OUT OF THE CITY TOMORROW.

GO UP TO THE SPEYSIDE BACKROADS, UP NEAR ACTON.

NELSON? AS IN EMMA NELSON?

YEAH.

LOOKS LIKE YOU GOTSOME BETTER PLANS.

SEAN!

ARE YOU OKAY?

MANNY ARE YOU OKAY?

I'M FINE.

IS SOMETHING WRONG?

YEAH. SORT OF.

WHAT?

OH MY GOD, YOU'VE GOT TOBE KIDDING ME.

YOU REMEMBER THAT INVITEI GAVE YOU?

YEAH. IT'S RIGHT HERE.

IT WAS SORT OF A MISTAKE.

SEAN, I'M REALLY SORRY.IT'S JUST-

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

I'M SORRY.

NO, NO, NO. DON'T WORRY -IT'S NO PROBLEM.

EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, I'M FINE, FINE.

CAUSE MY OFFER FOR TOMORROWSTILL STANDS, IF YOU WANT.

YEAH.

WE'RE BACK! HEY!

HEY!

HOW ARE YOU DOING?GOOD TO SEE YOU.

I'M GOOD! CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU.

HEY.

HI. HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD.

YOU LOOK GOOD.

THANKS.

GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

LIKEWISE.UM, WHAT IS ALL THIS STUFF?

UH, IT'S MINE.

YOU KNOW, MY LEASE IS UP ATTHE END OF THE WEEK.

SO I'M MOVING IN BIT BY BIT.

DON'T YOU HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRYABOUT RIGHT NOW?

SNAKE WORRY? COME ON.

HA-HA, THAT'S FUNNY, JEREMIAH.

BETWEEN THE WEDDINGAND MOVING IN,

I'M LIKE A HEART ATTACKIN MOTION.

I BELIEVE IT.

OH, OH NO. DOES IT BITE?

WEDDING GIFT FROM MY CLASS.

IT'S VERY UM...

VERY UGLY - I KNOW. SORRY.

UM SO GUYS, WHAT DO YOU GOTPLANNED FOR TONIGHT?

DOING THE TYPICAL GUY STUFF?

SCOTCH, CIGARS, STRIPPERS?

I TOLD JOEY - NO STRIPPERS. RIGHT?

NOPE, NOPE. WE'RE GOINGBOWLING.

SNAKE, COME HERE.TALK TO ME.

YES MASTER,SOUNDS SERIOUS...

NO, NO.JUST WEDDING STUFF.

HEY GUYS!

HEY LUC!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS WEDDING?

SO, WHEN ARE YOU GUYS GOING TOHAVE A LITTLE

MINI-SPIKE OR MINI-SNAKE

TO ADD TO MINI-CAITLIN OVERTHERE?

OH WELL, WE'VE DISCUSSED IT.

WE DEFINITELY WANT KIDS.

DEFINITELY. AND WHO KNOWS?

IT COULD HAPPEN SOONERTHAN YOU THINK.

I SURE HOPE NOT!

JUST LIKE A MAN.

NEVER WANTS TO RUSH INTOANYTHING.

WE'VE GOT A LOT ON OUR PLATESRIGHT NOW.

YOU KNOW, I'VE GOTTA SETTLE IN.

GET USED TO BEING A HUSBAND.AND A STEP-DAD.

RIGHT.

OH, I'M NOT SAYING NEVER.JUST NOT RIGHT NOW.

HEY - YOU WANTED TO TALK WEDDING?

NO. I'VE FIGURED IT OUT.THANKS.

HEY. WHAT'S UP.

WHAT'S UP? LISTEN MAN,CIGARS ARE OVER THERE

AND BEVERIDGE'S ARE SERVED'TIL TWO A.M.

PERFECT.

HAVE A GOOD TIME.

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

SNAKE!

WHAT'S GOING ON MAN.

LOOSEN UP, IT'S YOUR STAG.

I'M TRYING,I'M TRYING.

ALL RIGHT, HERE YOU GO.

I GOT SOMETHING PLANNEDFOR YOU LATER

IT'S GOING TO CHEER YOU UP,OKAY.

OKAY.

I'LL GET IT.

ALL RIGHT.

OH, GUYS.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

WELL, I HAVEN'T CLEARED YOUWITH JOEY YET.

LOOK GUYS, WHATEVER YOU'RESELLING,

WE'RE NOT INTERESTED IN, OKAY?WHAT ARE YOU SELLING, ANYWAYS?

ACTUALLY, WE'RE UH,WE'RE HERE FOR THE SHOW.

YEAH.

FANCY WAS SORTA THEIR IDEA.

REALLY.OH WELL, IN THAT CASE - NO.

BUT - COME ON.

NO. GET OUT OF HERE.

BOTH OF YOUR AGES COMBINED WOULDNOT MAKE YOU OLD ENOUGH.

BUT, HOW COME CRAIG GETS TO STAYAND WATCH THE SHOW?

CRAIG GETS TO GO UPSTAIRS IN HISBEDROOM AND WATCH TV, OKAY?

BUT JOEY -

NO. NO. NO. NICHT. NO.

LOOK, CRAIG, WE'RE IN THE SAMEBOAT AS YOU, SO, YOU KNOW.

MAKE THEM STOP?

OR YOU'LL HAVE FOUR DEADMEXICANS ON YOUR HANDS.

OKAY, THERE'S A PROBLEM HERE,SPIKE.

IS IT EMMA?

HERE, HAVE THIS.IT'LL HELP.

I CAN'T.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T?

THIS IS YOUR BACHELORETTEPARTY.

I JUST CAN'T, OKAY?

YOU KNOW THAT KINDA SOUNDSTO ME

LIKE YOU'RE PREGNANT, SPIKE.

OKAY, YOU'RE PREGNANT.

IT'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.

YEAH, I MEAN TOTALLY.

LOOK, AT LEAST THIS TIME,YOU'VE GOT SOMEONEWHO LOVES YOU.

YEAH. SOME WHO'S GOING TO BE THERE FOR YOU.

A GUY WHO DOESN'T WANT KIDS.

YOU GUYS HEARD HIM.

YEAH, BUT...

HE MADE WHERE HE STANDS,VERY CLEAR.

HE DOESN'T WANT A KID RIGHTNOW.

SO WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO?

I DON'T KNOW. CANCEL TOMORROW?

I MEAN, I LOVE SNAKE, BUT -

EM AND I HAVE GOTTEN THIS FARON OUR OWN.

MAYBE THIS WASN'T MEANT TOHAPPEN.

BUT SPIKE-

I'M SERIOUS, CAITLIN.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DOABOUT THE BABY?

THAT WASN'T MEANT TO HAPPENEITHER.

SO MAYBE IT WON'T.

SO, SEAN.

YOU'RE SURE HE WASN'T TOOUPSET WHEN YOU TOLD HIM?

FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME,HE WASN'T UPSET.

GOOD.

I HOPE SNAKE WILL TAKEHIS NEWS JUST AS WELL.

MY PARENTS HAVE,LIKE, 20 SIBLINGS.

SO I SAY,THE MORE THE MERRIER.

ACTUALLY? I'D LOVE TO HAVEA LITTLE BROTHER.

OR A SISTER.I'M NOT PICKY!

I JUST WANT US TO FEELLIKE A FAMILY.

AND A NEW BABY WOULDSO DO THAT.

HEY! HOW WAS YOUR LAST NIGHTAS A SINGLE WOMAN?

DID YOU GUYS GET ALL WILD AND CRAZY?

IT WAS FINE.

SO CAN I TAKE THIS OFF NOW?

SURE.

HERE.

HOW DOES IT LOOK?

I'VE RUINED EVERYTHING.

SPIKE!

I WOULDN'T - SHE PRETTY UPSET.

STILL?

WHY DON'T YOU STAY DOWN HERE,

AND WE'LL TRY AND IRON IT OUT.

I'LL JUST BE ONE MINUTE.

OKAY, I KNOW WHAT YOU FOUND OUTIS BEYOND WEIRD

BUT IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.

I'M FINE WITH THIS ANDSNAKE WILL BE TOO.

WE JUST HAVE TO CONVINCEHIM THAT.

CONVINCE HIM? HOW?

I DON'T KNOW. HOWEVER YOUCONVINCED ME ABOUT YOU TOO.

IF I EVEN HAVE THIS BABY.

WHAT?

WE DON'T WANT ANYMORE KIDSRIGHT NOW.

END OF STORY.

END OF STORY FOR WHO?

YOU'RE NOT THINKING OF HAVINGAN ABORTION.

I MIGHT.

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